Latest / Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast / ONLY BOMBS! 31: Isaiah Pichardo | From Indiana Crystal Shop to Austin Comedy

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ONLY BOMBS! 31: Isaiah Pichardo | From Indiana Crystal Shop to Austin Comedy · Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast

0:48
I don't care about phones or nothing like that
0:50
It's just kind of like it just kind of pisses
0:51
me off because sometimes mine just goes like
0:53
crazy I always forget to turn off my my app notifications.
0:57
Yeah, you know like bing bing. Yeah started talking
1:00
It's like dang that was a good clip and yeah,
1:02
right fucking I'll be like goddamn pet smart
1:04
son of a bitch Why the fuck are you always reaching
1:08
me like no dude? Yeah, it's like dude. It is
1:11
like an algorithm thing I think I think they
1:13
literally hear hear that you're like, oh wait,
1:15
he's got friends over That's potential. Advertisement.
1:20
He's doing the podcast. Let's advertise PetSmart.
1:24
Oh, just got a clip. Petco don't care about your
1:28
pets, ho. We don't care, dude. We gotta do this
1:33
shit smart, homie. Because we're fucking PetSmart,
1:37
dude. Look, you see? Oh my god, it just went
1:39
off again. It just went fucking off again, see?
1:41
It's like those little bastards, man. They know,
1:44
dude. They know, dude. It's crazy. Like, it's
1:47
really fucking... It's almost scary sometimes.
1:50
You know? You'll just be bringing something up
1:52
and then somebody's like, dude, I was talking
1:54
about Dracula flow. Dracula flow? You haven't
1:58
seen that? No, what is that? Oh, dude, it's amazing.
2:00
It's a YouTube little series. There's a few clips
2:04
of just this really old guy painted and dressed
2:09
up as Dracula just doing like rap... bars that
2:13
are ridiculous. He's like, Dracula Flow? Yeah,
2:17
I'm writing it down. Yeah, you gotta watch it.
2:19
It is one of the funniest series ever. Dracula
2:24
Flow, okay. Yeah. Man, I'm still like, I wanna
2:26
do the whole like, you know, pull it up Jamie
2:29
thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to do,
2:31
I don't know how they do that, to be honest with
2:33
you. You gotta have a second guy probably. Yeah,
2:35
maybe, I don't know. To save you time and, you
2:38
know. Yeah, something like that, man. I don't
2:39
know, but Dracula Flow. So, like, why have you
2:41
been watching Dracula Flow? Just because he's
2:43
funny or just...? Yeah, it was a couple years
2:45
ago. It's rumored that, you know who Filthy Frank
2:49
is? No. Dang, dude. Is that another YouTube feller?
2:54
Another YouTube guy. He's old, though. He was,
2:56
like, ten years ago. Filthy Frank. Filthy Frank.
3:01
And he became an artist named Joji, and he's
3:03
a great artist. It's rumored that he was the
3:06
one that, like... was behind it all, but it's
3:08
not on his pages. But yeah, I mean, these guys
3:11
will pop up. Yeah. Yeah, now they will. Because
3:13
we're talking about them. Because we're fucking
3:15
talking about them. You ever seen that Pete Holmes
3:17
thing where Pete Holmes like came out and I think
3:19
he was like yelling like Viagra or something
3:22
and nobody was like knowing why and he was like,
3:24
now your algorithms are all fucked up. That's
3:28
funny. I haven't seen that. That's good. That's
3:30
good. Yeah, dude, like all the talk that I see
3:32
like about like blue chew and shit I get like
3:35
fucking blue chew like all over the place like
3:37
on my fucking phone I'm like, I don't even I
3:39
never I've never looked it up. Yeah, like ever
3:42
but it's like they went like, oh this guy's like
3:44
40 so Let's go ahead and throw him some blue
3:48
cheese. Yeah, like they think I'm gonna be at
3:50
target audience here, right? They're like, dude,
3:52
I think I found another one is gonna be boofin
3:54
blue cheese soon So, but anyway, dude, what's
3:57
up, man? I'm feeling good. How are you doing?
3:59
Yeah. I'm doing good, man. Happy to have you,
4:01
dude. Happy to be here. Thank you for the opportunity,
4:04
man. I appreciate it. Yeah. Aw, man. Yeah, well,
4:06
thank you for coming on. I appreciate that, dude.
4:08
Yeah. So, this, I just want to, you know, put
4:12
it out there, like, you know, getting to know
4:13
you a little bit. You're from Indianapolis? Indiana.
4:16
An hour south of Indianapolis. Okay, an hour
4:18
south in Indianapolis? Yeah, in Indiana, yeah.
4:21
What was that like, man? Like, growing up there.
4:24
Dude. It's an interesting place, um, it's, it's
4:29
predominantly white, uh, it's in the - Ew. Ew.
4:34
Ew, yeah, yeah. Gross. Yeah. It has its pros
4:38
and cons, has its pros and cons. It is, I'll
4:41
tell you this, it is one of the most peaceful
4:43
places in terms of, like, violent crime in America.
4:48
Ew. No, it sucks. So it's still pretty bad though.
4:52
No, that's awesome though, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's
4:54
cool. If you know who John Mellencamp is, know
4:57
who that is? John Cougar Mellencamp. It's his
4:58
hometown. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's
5:01
cool. So y 'all playing Jack and Diane a lot.
5:03
Yep. Yep. I thought that was just because he
5:05
was from that hometown for years. I was just
5:08
like, all right, we're just playing that because,
5:10
you know... He's from here, but I went to Tampa.
5:13
I've been here in Austin. I hear his music all
5:15
the time I'm like, oh he really is like that
5:17
big that big I didn't know that oh, you didn't
5:20
even know that he's like a huge legendary artist
5:22
didn't Didn't process it didn't realize it. Yeah.
5:25
Well, that's we got murals of them everywhere
5:27
and stuff And I was like, all right, you know
5:29
Wow, that's neat, but his music is great and
5:32
like the song small town. Yeah small town I'm
5:35
from it's pretty cool. Wow, that's cool. So did
5:37
you like do? get to know his music and go see,
5:40
like, what he was talking about at all in any
5:42
of his songs, or? No, I really just, I had Seymour
5:45
mapped out, like, the back of my hand first,
5:48
you know? And then it was like, you know, just
5:50
heard it throughout the years. You know how,
5:51
like, something's just there, you don't really
5:53
kind of look at it, look at it, you know? It
5:54
was just kind of there. And then when I lived
5:57
in Tampa for a little bit, or near Tampa for
5:59
a little bit, I was like, oh, I keep hearing
6:02
this guy, like, every other day. I thought that
6:04
was just because I lived in Seymour. You know
6:06
like on the rate because I listen a lot of classic
6:08
rock and like the radio the Tampa Bay radio They
6:11
would play him like every other day. It was like
6:12
oh snap Yeah, really is that big man? That's
6:15
cool. Are you listening a classic rock though?
6:17
Like I don't really hear many people listening
6:19
to classic rock like what is it about it that
6:21
you like um I just grew up on it. I played guitar
6:24
hero as a kid. Oh, yeah, and yeah, that's pretty
6:27
that I owe guitar hero so much because they that
6:32
game is the reason why I have so much classic
6:36
rock on my playlist today. You know? Dude, I
6:39
fucking love guitar. Yeah. Babe, look what I
6:41
just learned how to play. I'm so good at pushing
6:49
these buttons. It's a love song, babe. Have you
6:54
seen the South Park episode on that? No. Oh,
6:57
it's so good. Randy's like, guys, I'll show you
7:00
how to play real guitar. And he plays the real
7:02
guitar and it's sick. And all the kids are like,
7:04
That's gay. That's so lame. That's so funny.
7:11
Leave it to South Park to like fucking do it
7:12
right. Yeah. So good. Dude, they always fucking,
7:15
they hit it right on the head, man. They know
7:18
it, dude. But did you, did you start comedy like
7:21
out there or in Tampa? No, I started in Indiana.
7:25
A buddy of mine was like, look, there's this
7:28
open mic in Seymour. This... Her name was Tanya.
7:33
She's she had this crystal shop like this Meta
7:36
physical shop where she sold like clothes, you
7:39
know knickknacks and crystals and stuff like
7:41
that Those are interesting shops interesting
7:45
shops. Yeah, and she did this thing where every
7:48
other Monday she just started I don't know who
7:50
kind of put the initiative, but it was her store.
7:51
She opened it up every other Monday She did an
7:54
open mic mmm, and I I I had even in high school
8:00
Like I was like I want to do stand -up comedy
8:04
But like just never you know just never looked
8:07
at it looked at it and really went with it I
8:10
just it was just kind of like an idea and I even
8:12
remember telling people that like I could see
8:14
that you know Like and and a lot of my like,
8:17
you know, like Facebook does like ten years ago
8:19
twelve years ago this yeah Just about every single
8:22
time I see that it's like the old like to be
8:24
honest TBH and and all that stuff. It's There's
8:28
people going, you know, da -da -da -da, Isaiah,
8:30
and you're very funny. Da -da -da -da. I was
8:33
laughing. You know, I've always just been like
8:35
a goofy, you know, kid my whole life, you know,
8:40
and humor's always been like a thing that I just,
8:43
you know. You just went to. Yeah, where you say
8:46
really you were like a class clown kind of deal
8:49
and stuff. So like you've obviously noticed a
8:52
difference then between like being funny and
8:54
then being like stand -up comedian. Yeah, there
8:56
is a difference. It's weird. You know, like I
9:01
would say that in person, I'm funnier in person.
9:05
Like just when you get to know someone more,
9:08
you get an opportunity to be funnier. There's
9:11
inside jokes, there's depth, you know, there's,
9:15
you know... Like in stand -up, you got five minutes
9:19
and these people don't know who you are. Yeah,
9:23
yeah. So it's... It's tough, you gotta hit them
9:25
quick. Yeah, and the first thing you can say,
9:28
that's what I've been learning a lot with stand
9:29
-up, is the first thing you can say can be, can
9:33
throw your whole set off, you know what I mean?
9:35
Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. That's
9:38
very true, man. I struggle with that. The other
9:43
day at work, the people were telling me, there
9:46
was a couple of people who saw me and they were
9:48
like, dude, are you gonna go up? And the first
9:50
thing I thought was, I was like, no, no, I'm
9:52
funnier here. I was like, if I go up, I'm gonna
9:56
lose this. Yeah, I'm like, the magic is gonna
9:59
fade. I'm like, you wanna watch the real people
10:02
do it. But what has been a challenging thing
10:06
in joke writing that you've found? Um It's it's
10:13
for me, it's humility Humility. Yeah Mmm, like
10:18
I'll have a great day and then it's it's so weird
10:21
how often this is happening recently I've had
10:24
a really good day. Yeah, and then the next day
10:26
I bomb I have a really good day I'll kill and
10:29
the next day I bomb and every time I kill I'm
10:32
like I'm funny, you know what I mean, right?
10:35
I got it and then I bomb and it's like you ain't
10:37
got it You ain't that funny, you know, so it's
10:41
just a back -and -forth. So I think the lesson
10:43
that I need to learn is humility So why is that
10:47
like is it what is it about bombing that kind
10:49
of throws you off a bit? I'm a perfectionist,
10:55
you know, I can't you know what I mean if I'm
10:57
lacking somewhere I'm I'm honing in on it. Like
11:00
we got to fix that. Yeah, you know Yeah, do you
11:03
notice like a different like demographic with
11:05
like that responds to you better than others?
11:12
Mmm No, not really, um, not yet I need more time
11:16
I guess most of the shows that I do is me barking
11:20
people into Narbar I love I love Narbar and I
11:23
love barking and I love barking for Narbar. So
11:25
that's pretty badass. Sweet Yeah, you enjoy like
11:28
just going out to like Narbar with those with
11:30
those sons of bitches, man. Yeah God, I fucking
11:33
love those bastards. I love it all. Yeah, I love
11:36
you know Like, I was waiting at an open mic,
11:39
and I heard somebody telling another comedian,
11:42
like, man, why are we doing this? You know? And
11:44
we're waiting, like, an hour, two hours for three
11:47
minutes, five minutes on an open mic. I'm like,
11:49
I love this. Yeah, go home. Give me more time.
11:52
Yeah. I'll rip an open mic in front of just comedians.
11:56
Yeah. I love it. I'll do it. I'll do... There's
11:59
just so many shows I've done where there's only
12:01
two people that I'm doing it for. Three people.
12:04
Right. I love it. Yeah, you know, I'll do that
12:07
all day. It's awesome. You know, that's awesome,
12:10
dude And you started so you started in Indianapolis
12:12
or I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, you get Indiana.
12:14
Yes. Yeah, excuse me. Yeah, what it is is a All
12:19
right, cool. There we go. So you started out
12:23
there at the crystal shop. Mm -hmm, right? I
12:26
think it's so fucking cool. Yeah. Yeah, you know,
12:29
so how did it go? Like let's talk about like
12:31
your first time ever doing stand -up. So it was
12:35
the easiest, hottest crowd you could possibly
12:39
ask for. Awesome. And it was great. It was like
12:42
when you started gambling addiction and your
12:43
first time you go to the casino, you hit it big.
12:46
You know what I mean? Hell yeah, dude. You know,
12:48
it was like that, which is not good for gambling.
12:51
Don't gamble. Was it because everybody knew you?
12:55
It was, no, it was just a sweetheart, small town,
12:58
Seymour, Indiana, man. A lot of people didn't
13:01
know me, but I was introduced as, you know, this
13:03
is his first time. You know, there's a lot of
13:06
older people, you know, they're just you know,
13:08
the type of you know, they'll laugh at almost
13:10
anything, you know and My first set I did really
13:16
well and I was like, all right And I had a feeling
13:19
like when I when I got off the stage even before
13:22
before I did it I just had this weird It was
13:28
like a it was a weird day. You know, I felt like
13:30
time froze. I was like this This is it Cause
13:35
I don't fit, I don't fit in many realms of human
13:39
behavior. You know, like I feel like staying
13:44
up comedy, I could be myself more than anywhere
13:46
else. Yes. Yeah. It's our job to say what the
13:50
people at the nine to five can't say. That's
13:52
our job. You're here in a late night. You've
13:55
had a few drinks. You're watching this guy say
13:58
that. Crazy shit that you've been thinking about
14:02
saying in the office, but you can't say mm -hmm
14:05
You know I mean to a certain extent you can't
14:07
go too crazy, but right right you know I mean
14:09
it's our job to express for you and Observe and
14:13
get angles for you that you haven't seen and
14:16
just really rip it Yeah, you know so how did
14:19
you how did you prepare for doing your first
14:22
time? Did you did you watch some like? your favorite
14:25
comedians or something like that? Or did you
14:27
have any idea about even joke writing structure?
14:30
Or did you just go like, I'm just going to go
14:32
up and say some funny shit like I always do.
14:35
Exactly. It was that. I knew that I had to write
14:38
something down. And my buddy let me know the
14:42
day of. He's like, later today, I'm going to
14:44
this open mic. I've already been to one or two.
14:47
Do you want to come with me? Yeah, sure. Let
14:49
me write down some ridiculous funny stuff. And
14:52
that was my plan. I just wrote down Stupid shit.
14:55
Yeah, like I think the first bit I ever wrote
14:59
because we had just gotten at the bar this past
15:02
week and I was like I was like, uh I go up there
15:08
and I'm like You know, it's a crazy world out
15:11
there. I want to make sure women are safe. I
15:13
want to make sure they're good I want to make
15:15
sure they're safe. So when we leave the bar,
15:17
I like to follow them home You know, I track
15:22
them and I follow them home, you know, and then,
15:24
you know, there's a call and I go, hey, there's
15:26
this guy, you know, like been out in your bush
15:30
for like five hours. You know, I'm there watching,
15:35
you know? Yeah. And they're like, how do you
15:37
know that? Because I've been here for eight hours,
15:38
making sure everything's good. You know what
15:40
I mean? That's good, man. And that was one of
15:43
your first ones? One of my first bits. Oh, man,
15:45
I love that. That's good. Thank you. And then
15:48
I was in the shop and I looked around I was like
15:51
I was like crystals And shit, you know And I
15:58
was like, I was like this this girl told me she
16:01
goes she goes Seek your ancestors Go all the
16:07
way back to your ancestors. So I went to my oldest
16:09
ancestor I said look man, my girls my girlfriend's
16:12
cheating on me. I'm having my relationship with
16:15
my family's not too well Work so I'm having a
16:18
hard time in life. I need help and then my oldest
16:20
ancestor looked at me as a dude. I'm a fish That's
16:27
one of those like slow burns I think yeah, it
16:30
hits me immediately. So I was like, oh, it's
16:31
a punch line that I was like wait, he's a fish
16:34
I love that. I love that kind of stuff man. I
16:39
love like like kind of like slapstick kind of
16:42
yeah like movies You know, and stuff. So when
16:44
I hear like, like jokes that I guess like are
16:47
goofy, you know, something like that, like, you
16:50
know, I just, I don't know what it is, dude.
16:52
I fucking, I love it. You know, like I had a,
16:55
just like, I've been writing a joke and it's,
16:58
I've been writing it seriously. It's, it's probably
17:01
like, it's a stupidest fucking joke, like ever,
17:03
right? You know, it was like, anacondas aren't
17:05
really as big of a problem as I thought they
17:07
would be. Like, I was like, you know, they come
17:11
from the Amazon. So I don't have to be scared
17:13
when I get my packages anymore. It's so fucking
17:20
stupid. It doesn't... Dude, it's not a stage
17:24
joke. That's funny. Are you like outside poking
17:27
a stick in the box? Well, at least I know it's
17:30
not an anaconda. At least I know everything's
17:34
gonna be fine. I try to get smaller packages.
17:37
I keep the packages small. Yeah, right. You ever
17:40
seen that movie, Anaconda? Like the old one with
17:43
Jennifer Lopez? I have not, but I've heard about
17:45
it. It's so fucking bad. It's so bad, it's good.
17:49
Yeah, is it a good bad movie? Yeah, it's one
17:51
of those good bad movies. I like good bad movies,
17:54
man. Yeah, it's just like, dude, like fucking...
17:57
Oh, you know John Voight? Do you know who John
17:59
Voight is? Uh -uh. So he was Nicholas Cage's
18:02
dad in National Treasure. Okay. I don't know
18:04
if you've seen National Treasure, but he... Yeah,
18:06
I think I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so
18:08
he's in a movie and he is like... His character
18:12
is like, like, dude, just go watch this movie
18:14
just for his fucking character, because the whole
18:16
time you're like, what the fuck is this? Like,
18:20
what is it? Like, what is this? He's like, he's
18:22
sitting there like talking about it. He's like,
18:24
Anacondas, they, they are just right around the
18:27
corner. You're like, what the fuck? What the
18:32
fuck are you talking about? You stupid bastard.
18:35
Hell yeah. And I was sitting there, I was like,
18:36
I'm gonna write a joke about this. I'm going
18:39
to write a joke about anacondas now. And that's
18:42
what came out. And I'm fucking... I like it.
18:44
Yeah. As a good premise. I like that. I think
18:47
that's all that I'll ever be. Is it just a premise?
18:50
I don't think I'll ever say that on stage. Try
18:52
it, dude. Try it. I think it'd be funny to act
18:55
it out too. There's a good chance to be like...
18:57
You know, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.
19:00
That's good. Exactly. So you so I feel like like
19:03
so this is me like three years in and I'm still
19:07
like, I don't know how to do this shit. Like,
19:10
so what about you, man? Like, have you have you
19:12
found that your comedy is like evolving appropriately,
19:15
I guess? Yes. Yes. Absolutely, dude. So what's
19:20
the difference between then versus now? I have.
19:26
I'm more careful. I'm more careful of, like,
19:29
how people are perceiving me. Like I said, within
19:32
five minutes, you know, people don't really know
19:35
you. So, like, you can't intro, you know, in
19:39
the beginning saying off the wall shit because
19:44
people don't know you. I made that mistake many
19:46
times, so you're right. Yeah, like... Yeah. Yeah,
19:50
like, it's like, no, like, I bomb with them,
19:52
like, oh... These people don't know me. They
19:54
don't know, like, yeah, I'm making a joke about
19:59
crazy shit. And it's like, no, I'm just joking.
20:06
That's the farthest thing from me, you know what
20:08
I mean? I do know what you mean, you know? Because
20:10
it's like I get up there and I'm like, why won't
20:12
they take me seriously? And they're like, dude,
20:13
you got to stop in the anacondas, bro. I'm like,
20:17
I'm trying to be a serious comedian, which in
20:19
of itself is an oxymoron, I think. Yeah, it is.
20:22
It is. So I guess I kind of elaborate more on
20:25
the be careful thing, like about the perception
20:29
of you. You can't just go out there being like
20:35
saying misogynistic jokes. There's misogynistic
20:39
jokes that are funny because it's goofy and not
20:43
real. You don't really think that way. You come
20:49
out the gate like, women are stupid. It's in
20:55
your bit or whatever. People are like, whoa,
20:59
all right, you fucking dickhead. It's like, no,
21:02
women are the greatest thing on this earth. Literally
21:07
the greatest thing on this earth not thing, you
21:09
know, I gotta watch you know the greatest things,
21:13
you know, the greatest objects on this earth,
21:16
you know Like that that does me shoot. I'm just
21:19
joking people like hey, you know, like yeah Well,
21:23
I think that's uh, you know, that's what finding
21:25
your voice is, you know, essentially is like
21:27
because the way I kind of think about it is like
21:32
If you're thinking like that, and this is just,
21:35
you know, kind of me basing off of my own self,
21:38
but like, because I still have a problem with
21:41
that every now and again when I grow up. And
21:42
I'm like, to me, I'm like, okay, well, I just
21:44
haven't found my voice yet. Because instead of
21:47
being like, oh, okay, like, this is working for
21:50
me, I'm going to do it. I'm like, oh, I don't
21:52
know if I could do this anymore because it's
21:54
just not working for them. You know, and it's
21:57
kind of like, it's sort of a, like, I'm learning
21:59
to not. care so much just, you know, in my writing,
22:05
you know, I'm just kind of being like, okay,
22:07
do I think this is funny? Is this funny? Yeah,
22:09
I think it's fucking hilarious. Will it work?
22:10
No, it's not going to work, but I know why. Yeah,
22:13
it's that kind of thing. Like what other kind
22:15
of lessons have you learned? Um, first off is
22:22
starting off self deprecation. Self -deprecation.
22:25
That's the best way to go. So you you just enjoy
22:27
they tearing yourself down. I love it I love
22:30
if yes, you do if I am the butt of the joke I
22:35
am perfectly fine with that even like social
22:38
settings no matter what like mmm, you know, I
22:42
I am perfectly fine with it. I will I will commit
22:47
kamikaze suicide for if it's a funny enough bit.
22:50
You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah. So why do you
22:52
think that is? Like, why do you do that? Because
22:56
I don't really take myself seriously. Like, I
23:00
don't think that, you know, if you make a short
23:03
joke about me, I mean, I joke about having a
23:06
small penis. You know what I mean? It's like
23:08
some people were like, don't, you know, don't
23:10
say that. Like, come on, man. Like, yeah. You
23:13
know what it's like, dude. That's not who cares
23:16
Like you know what I mean there's some people
23:20
out there that'll be like Like they have a secret
23:24
small penis or keep it a secret I don't want
23:27
to tell anybody about my man huge penis I don't
23:30
want anybody to know how small my penis is right
23:34
that'll destroy me my career My livelihood so
23:39
maybe you shouldn't have a painting of it above
23:41
your fireplace Oh. I forgot about that. Shit.
23:48
Damn it. I called that one the lion's mane. You
23:54
like Will Ferrell, don't you? You got a Will
23:56
Ferrell sense of humor there. Really? I sensed
23:59
that, yeah. That's kind of funny. You sounded
24:02
like Anchorman Will Ferrell right there. Oh yeah,
24:04
I can see that. You're like Ron Burgundy. That
24:07
kind of thing? Yeah, I guess I can kind of see
24:09
that. I do like him in... In some things, you
24:13
know, but I think the only the only thing I really
24:15
didn't like him in was um, was elf Because I
24:19
didn't like I didn't like elf. Yeah I watched
24:23
that as a kid. I haven't watched as an adult
24:24
yet. Yeah If you watch it as an adult, you'll
24:28
probably be like man. This is this is almost
24:30
exactly the same as anaconda Yeah, I'm just kidding
24:34
Okay, like it's just a bad movie. They got presents
24:38
in the corner Anyway, but uh, yeah, I just didn't
24:42
really enjoy it. You see this is why Yeah, my
24:45
phone has been fucking going off and new advertisements.
24:48
All right, just fucking they're listening They're
24:50
listening but um, but yeah, no, I like them in
24:53
like the other guys and stepbrothers You know
24:56
and stuff like that, but uh, I'm more of a like
25:00
Like, I really like goofy comedians, you know,
25:03
like goofy stand -up comedians, you know, that
25:05
kind of thing. Um, and so, and I also like comedians
25:08
who have, like, heavy opinions, um, you know,
25:12
like, Carlin or, uh, oh, man, uh, Bill Hicks,
25:16
things like that. Just people with, like, just
25:18
these crazy perspectives, and I'm just like,
25:20
how the hell... Like, how are they so strongly
25:23
opinionated and so talented enough to make it
25:26
a joke? It's like, that's insane, dude. One of
25:28
the first jokes I wrote was a Bill Hicks joke,
25:31
and I didn't know it. Like, the second or third
25:33
time I did an open mic, I did a Bill Hicks joke,
25:35
and he delivered it way better, and I bombed
25:38
it. Basically, the premise was, man, I'm a sound
25:42
misogynist as fuck. Yeah, and now... Yeah, yeah,
25:45
that has got to, like, the third one already.
25:49
The joke, the premise was being in heaven with
25:53
a woman and she's just not satisfied with it.
25:57
Like she just wants more. Oh yeah, I know that
25:59
one. And I bombed doing it because I sounded
26:03
like an asshole. But Bill Hicks killed it. He
26:06
did it on like a show and like Joe Budden's got
26:09
a whole clip with, it's a decent bit. Oh yeah,
26:12
I think it was only... Arsenio Hall show, I think.
26:15
Yeah. When he did it. Which was a great show.
26:20
I've only seen a couple clips of it. Oh, man.
26:23
I used to love watching that show when I was
26:24
a kid. Because I liked late night. And Arsenio
26:27
Hall was like, he wasn't like your typical late
26:30
night or talk show guy. He was just so much funnier.
26:37
But no, he was fantastic, dude. Who are some
26:40
of your comedic inspirations? Patrice O 'Neil.
26:42
Oh, dude. Yeah, man. I just watched this fucking
26:46
special. Oh, yeah. Oh, like I just I don't know
26:48
why dude I just looked it up on YouTube the elephant
26:50
in the room in the room. Yeah. Yeah the thing
26:53
about the whole Kellogg's. Yeah, like the fire
26:55
He's so good. He's so good. He him. I'm hoping
27:00
Anthony is insane to just yeah his perspective
27:04
I think it may have been I forget who said it
27:09
but after he died Somebody was like, I just wish
27:13
Patrice was here because I want to hear his take
27:16
on his own death. He always had the best takes
27:21
on things and just broke things down where he
27:24
just captivated the room. Everyone listened.
27:26
You know, he's the guy that when he started talking,
27:28
everyone's like, what is he about to say? Yeah.
27:31
You know? Yeah. Did you know that he was in office
27:33
for a little bit? Mm -hmm. Yeah. I watched that
27:36
before I even... I found Patrice. Listened to
27:40
opening Anthony fell in love with Patrice and
27:43
then I had already watched the office in like
27:45
middle school Yeah, and then I thought I was
27:48
like, oh That's Patrice. You know what I mean?
27:51
Like it's insane. That is insane because I was
27:54
like, dude He needed to be utilized so much fucking
27:59
more. I was like, as soon as I saw him, I got
28:01
so excited. And all of a sudden, I was like,
28:02
man, the office is a great show. But I was like,
28:04
dude, come on, man. It's fucking Patrice O 'Neill
28:08
right there, and you're not even fucking letting
28:10
him talk, dude? I was like, come on. He was like
28:13
an extra. It was weird. But yeah, no, he's a
28:17
fucking brilliant man. He's so good, and he's
28:20
so effortless, because it's just... How he is
28:23
and that to me says that he was just incredibly
28:26
fucking intelligent, you know You know, so but
28:30
uh, so when did you finally come to austin? January
28:34
this year 2026. Oh, so you've been here very
28:37
like very new. Yeah Yeah, very new to the scene
28:40
and i'm very blessed. I mean i've been doing
28:42
a heavy hitters show with vulcan with uh tyler
28:46
call nice, man, um sand jack saloon spotlight
28:50
series show Matt's let me run a couple shows
28:54
at NAR. I did one last night. Hell yeah, dude.
28:58
That's awesome, man. So you're like really getting
29:00
out there, just pushing and stuff. That's great,
29:02
man. You're doing the grind. The Austin grind,
29:05
as it were. Yeah. Yeah, and so it's been paying
29:08
off for you. Yep, very blessed. Well, let's take
29:11
it to where you first got here. Did you come
29:14
here with comedy in mind? To be honest, I prayed.
29:17
And I just felt the Lord saying, go to Austin,
29:20
Texas. So I did. And just started ripping mics,
29:26
getting in the scene. Where was the first place
29:28
that you went? Like the first stage in Austin?
29:30
I think Creek. The Creek? Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah.
29:34
And I had, yeah, yeah. Where you work. Where?
29:38
Anyway, yeah. Yeah, my bad. Bleep that out. Gotta
29:41
cut that real quick. No, no, it's all good, man.
29:44
But, yeah, dude, so you went to the creek. That's
29:47
great. That was also my first spot in Austin,
29:49
too. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I was very, very drunk.
29:51
Don't ever do that. Rescamo, bros. Hell yeah,
29:59
dude. Eiffel Tower, Creek in the Cave. My anaconda
30:02
don't do that. That's a good callback. Yeah,
30:07
dude. Everything has a theme, I guess. Tonight's
30:11
theme, anaconda. Yeah, exactly. So you did the
30:16
creek and everything. How did that go? Because
30:19
I know creek could be very discouraging. It was
30:22
exactly that. It was, I hadn't done comedy in
30:25
like a year, right? And I kind of dropped it.
30:28
I was like, you know, maybe this isn't it. And,
30:31
uh, which is crazy because this is how just like,
30:37
I am very confident, but at the same time, very
30:39
self discouraging. I had a moment in Tampa at
30:43
the gimmick where I'm walking in before I walk
30:46
into the gimmick. I'm praying to God. I'm like,
30:50
look, God, if this is what I'm supposed to do,
30:54
give me a sign, please. Please give me a sign.
30:59
I go in there, the owner of the gimmick, Sean,
31:04
or the manager, he knows me, he lets me sit at
31:06
VIP for a show. So I'm sitting up front, VIP.
31:12
A show is going on, just a regular showcase.
31:15
And they were like, halfway through the show,
31:17
they're like, we have a surprise guest appearance.
31:20
And it was Cam Patterson. Oh, no shit. Yeah.
31:23
Wow, that's cool. Cam comes out. He notices me
31:27
halfway through the set. And finishes the set,
31:32
and then the next comedians come up, and then
31:34
at the end of the show, the host goes, everybody
31:37
drive home, everybody get home safe. Cam comes
31:39
out. Mm -hmm. He's like, come here, come here,
31:43
pointing at me. I'm like, this is it. This is,
31:46
you know what I mean? Like, this is like, it
31:47
was like a movie moment for me. You know, this
31:50
is probably nothing to him, but to me this was
31:52
like... So Cam Patterson and you were like kinda
31:55
starstruck, I guess. Starstruck. It felt like
31:58
a movie moment. That's so cool. And he pulled
32:01
me back in the green room, introduced me to comics
32:04
and was like, Isaiah's the next big thing, this
32:06
is Dan... Talking about Dan, he was talking to
32:08
Dan Bask and another comedian, I can't remember
32:11
his name. He was introducing to me and he was
32:13
like, Dan Bask is a guy that kind of runs the
32:15
Tampa scene. Dan, this is Isaiah, how long you
32:17
been doing comedy? I was like, I've only been
32:18
doing it for like a few months. He's like, dude,
32:21
just put in a good word for me. Like, Cam Patterson
32:24
himself, this was before he got to SNL and stuff.
32:26
Like, he was like, Isaiah's the next big thing.
32:30
So that, that like... I was like, all right,
32:32
God, that's a sign if I've ever seen one, you
32:36
know? That's really cool, man. Straight from
32:37
Cam Patterson himself. And then, you know, that
32:42
was a learning experience. And then after that,
32:44
I dropped it for like a year. That's how discouraging
32:49
I am. Oh my God, you are a comic. I feel like,
32:55
dude, I feel like everybody does that at some
32:56
point. Like, dude, I hear it. I see it. I hear
32:59
it. You know, everybody kind of does that. So,
33:02
you know, that's cool. Like, what did you do
33:03
in that time? Like, did you did you even think
33:05
about comedy or was it like? No, I went and just
33:09
lived a normal life. I moved back to Indiana
33:11
from Florida because I lived there for a few
33:13
months. Just started pouring concrete construction,
33:17
you know, and and and doing tile work. Yeah.
33:21
And and just. Whole the whole chapter of my life
33:26
there, you know had a built a little relationship
33:30
back up with my mother You know and then Yeah,
33:35
it was that was a whole nother. I just live life.
33:38
You know, I mean I was just out there, you know,
33:40
and then I Just felt the Lord I was praying one
33:44
day because I had went to I even went to Washington
33:46
DC in that time You know started dating a woman
33:50
that works in Congress and then I Bailed on that
33:54
after she told me a bunch of secrets and it was
33:56
all corrupt. I was like I it was literally the
33:59
Illuminati No way. Yeah, I like left -eye Illuminati
34:02
kind of shit Yeah, like I always kind of thought
34:05
that was like all conspiracy You know, I watch
34:08
videos on that middle school whatever and you
34:10
see the you know, the pyramid Illuminati whatever
34:13
secret society that run the government Yeah,
34:16
I was in a relationship with a woman that was
34:19
in it like the congressional Illuminati Like,
34:23
how did you end up in a relationship with, like,
34:26
somebody like that? God. Wait, what? God. I'm
34:33
sorry, I wasn't really expecting that answer.
34:35
I was like, wait, God put you in the Illuminati?
34:37
Yeah. Yeah. It was funny because it's crazy.
34:43
It's literally, it's insane, but reality is insane.
34:46
The most schizophrenic thing there is, is reality.
34:48
I know. It is crazy out here, dude. Yeah. I literally
34:54
praying, just like God told me to come here to
34:56
Austin, Texas, and my life is, you know, miracles
34:59
are happening left and right. I've had an insane
35:02
trip here. I had a whole, like, peanut butter
35:04
falcon story where I helped this, like, this
35:07
autistic guy, like, escape this care place that
35:09
he was at, and I helped him get back to it. And,
35:12
like, I've had a series of events here in Austin,
35:15
like, the Illuminati, Peanut Butter Falcon. Sorry,
35:19
yeah, we're going all over the place. I'm like,
35:22
dude, and then somehow, Cam Patterson. Yeah,
35:24
yeah, Cam Patterson. Let's not forget Anacondas.
35:30
Don't forget the anaconda the anacondas, but
35:34
okay, dude Like I don't even I don't even know
35:36
like where to begin because this is like one
35:38
of those like fucking like three cups in the
35:40
ball thing I'm like sitting there like what do
35:41
we talk about? What do we talk about? What do
35:42
we talk about? No, I cool. Let's talk about Illuminati,
35:46
I guess all right, so how did you get into that?
35:48
So I'm praying to God. Oh, yeah, and I have this
35:51
this comedian actually has this idea He's like,
35:54
why don't we just get metal detectors in every
35:56
school in America? That'll save kids' lives.
35:59
They're already in some, you know, like, why
36:02
don't we just finish that project and save kids'
36:06
lives? I was like, that's actually a good idea.
36:08
So at my church, I'm like, doing prayer requests,
36:11
like, let's pray on that. Like, that's a good
36:12
idea. And I'm praying it. I'm just alone. I'm
36:16
praying on that. And I literally hear, very few
36:19
times has God given me a command, like, where
36:22
I can hear it. It's a knowing, I don't know how
36:25
to explain it, very few times. When he does,
36:28
I listen. Because there's times where I haven't
36:30
listened and things go south, you know? I hear
36:34
a direct command, go to Washington DC on Saturday.
36:39
Okay. And it was like a Monday or Tuesday or
36:42
something. It was like that week, right? And
36:45
I'm praying more on it and I had just got a new
36:48
job doing tile work. This guy, it was just me
36:51
and a guy. And he's like, dude, I'm gonna get
36:53
you your own truck, your own crew, because I
36:55
know how to do it, you know, forward and back.
36:58
I'm really good with tile work. And I'm very
37:00
good at lead, you know what I mean? Yeah. Charismatic,
37:02
you know. Yeah. Yeah, as a good tile worker should
37:06
be. Yeah. But the tile work, you know, it was
37:12
going to be a lot of money. And I just felt guys
37:15
saying quit your job. This brand new opportunity
37:18
that's life changing, you know. and go to Washington
37:22
DC on Saturday. You got less than a week's notice,
37:25
like a week or less than a week's notice. I can't
37:27
remember exactly. I remember you back up everything
37:28
and then you head out to Washington DC. Greyhound.
37:31
Boom. Greyhound. Yeah. So did you tell your boss
37:34
you were like, I heard a voice, or like how did
37:36
you, I'm sorry. Yeah. How did you, how do you
37:38
say this? He was like, that's crazy. And I was
37:40
like, I know. And I sell tile. I'm gonna go there,
37:46
but sleep some tile. We're gonna figure it out.
37:48
Yeah, and Deirdre. That is crazy because I sell
37:51
tile, and I think that's fucking nuts. So usually
37:58
I get affirmations from God by like things working
38:00
out in my life. I start every morning with a...
38:05
Clean slate. That's a little tile joke for you,
38:10
dude. Okay, let's retile that one. Anyway, all
38:12
right. I'm getting tired of this. Now we're just
38:17
talking like we have speech in front of us. I'm
38:19
getting real tall with this. Okay, so you end
38:22
up in Washington, DC with some Illuminati queen,
38:25
I guess. Dude, two days in. Two days in? Right,
38:28
two days in. And I fast on it to make sure, you
38:31
know, because you can fast on things and things
38:33
will work out. Yeah, and then she might not want
38:36
to eat you because you don't have any food. Yeah
38:38
I don't know anything about the Illuminati. I'm
38:42
I Have like no money, right? I literally get
38:47
money from the church to buy the no no I had
38:50
enough money for the Washington DC church. Yeah,
38:54
so I go To Washington DC. I literally hand out
38:59
like the rest of my money to like homeless people
39:02
And I have nothing. I just got a bag full of
39:04
food and clothes. Yeah. I show up on foot washing
39:08
in DC. Okay. Find a shelter within like 24 hours.
39:12
I literally, I'm staying in a shelter in DC.
39:14
I'm full sent, right? No... You know what I mean?
39:19
No safety plan here. Right. Second day, I go
39:23
check out the Lincoln Memorial. You know, I'm
39:24
just checking places out the White House. Yeah.
39:27
You're sitting there like, wow, look at all these
39:28
marble tiles. That's not great. Yeah, right.
39:35
Hey, somebody needs to equalize this right here,
39:39
dude. This needs a little bit more tiling. I
39:42
don't know. Anyway, but yeah, dude, so like you're
39:44
at the Lincoln Memorial. Was like, were she like
39:45
standing there in like a red robe or something?
39:48
I'm trying to like imagine red carpet in the
39:51
helicopter. Why are you floating? Can you come
39:54
down from there? I'm in between like. Past the
39:58
Washington Monument a little bit in between the
40:00
memorial Lincoln Memorial the monument There
40:02
is this big tent like a like a canopy whatever,
40:06
you know, and it was called David's tent It was
40:09
a worship tent. It was it was like big you fit
40:12
like a hundred people in there, you know Yeah,
40:14
and that's intense I'm very sorry That's good.
40:26
I'm sorry. That's so fucking stupid. Okay Like
40:29
something sometimes I even say shit that I'm
40:31
like damn it dude. Why are you even doing a podcast
40:34
bro? Trey you're so dumb. There's like a bunch
40:38
of people that's like get to the point this guy
40:40
Right you're like dude. He fucking said another
40:44
stupid joke. Oh my god anyways alright, so you're
40:47
at David's tent Okay. Yeah, Davidson, it's a
40:50
worship tent. It's a Christian worship tent.
40:53
And I'm wearing this purple shirt that's like
40:57
Hawaiian, like a Pacific Islander shirt. And
41:01
she comes up to me, she's a Pacific Islander.
41:03
I didn't know that. She goes, are you a Pacific
41:05
Islander? I was like, no. And she was like, well,
41:09
that shirt is a Pacific Islander shirt. That's
41:12
my culture, that's my people. And I was like,
41:15
oh, that's cool. And then she sat down next to
41:17
me and we just talked about it and we talked
41:19
about our walk with the Lord. She was like, how
41:21
long you been, you know, walking with Jesus?
41:24
And, you know, we were just back and forth. And
41:26
then eventually the conversation after about
41:28
10, 15 minutes got to, what are you doing here?
41:31
And I was like, I was praying and I felt the
41:33
Lord tell me to come here. And she was like,
41:35
I was praying and the Lord told me to come worship
41:38
Him at this tent. At two o 'clock? Yeah, huh
41:41
at two o 'clock like you both you both had a
41:44
schedule to like meet each other kind of thing
41:45
I guess it was like a divine appointment. She
41:47
was like a divine appointment. That's a really
41:49
interesting way to put that Yeah, this is a real
41:52
thing Like if you talk to a lot of Christians,
41:53
especially the veterans like divine appointments
41:56
are real like you'll talk to pastors like and
41:58
I had heard this before I got real into it He's
42:02
like I know I had a pastor one time like years
42:04
and years ago He's like, yeah, there's there's
42:05
times where God's like wait right here until
42:08
12 44 and he'll just wait there for like 20 minutes
42:11
and something will happen where like somebody
42:13
will come right across and it is right time right
42:16
when they needed him, you know, interesting Yeah,
42:18
and and so that's what happened with you two
42:20
Yeah, so you meet like I guess like wouldn't
42:23
like this conversation you hit it off hit it
42:25
off and she was like She was like I never leave
42:28
work early. Like I'm I take this job very seriously
42:31
I was feeling sick and I was praying and I just
42:34
felt the Lord say come worship me and I left
42:36
work early and I never do that And like we both
42:40
felt and there was just this feeling this strong
42:43
Feel like a weighted vest inside the heart and
42:47
soul was like alright, you know, and I told her
42:50
the idea I said I want metal detectors in every
42:54
school in America. I don't know Yeah, I don't
42:57
know how I'm supposed to do that. I don't like
42:59
that's I felt the Lord I was praying on that
43:02
the Lord told me to come here I don't know how
43:03
this is gonna be done and she was like I Work
43:07
in Congress I Work in Capitol Hill like this
43:12
is something that can be done. I can pitch this
43:15
and and I was like you're kidding So there I
43:19
am sitting with a woman that works in Capitol
43:21
Hill, you know what I mean? Like right we get
43:23
metal detectors in every school Yeah, this woman
43:27
now. Yeah, so you're thinking that you guys like
43:29
go on a date or something Yeah, we we we hit
43:32
it off We're texting back and forth. We you know,
43:36
we go on dates. We go to church together You
43:39
know and we're talking about a bunch of things,
43:41
right? I'm talking about how I'm like, alright,
43:43
so Bitcoin is just a vehicle For black market
43:48
industries. It's just a currency for black markets.
43:50
That's that's what it was born on. That's what
43:53
it is Was she like I know no This is what happened.
43:58
She goes the next day after we talked about that
44:01
Yeah, she hears about a meeting in Capitol Hill
44:04
where they're serving chick -fil -a sandwiches
44:06
So she goes I love the specificity. Yeah, they
44:11
were serving chick -fil -a dude two packets of
44:13
honey mustard. Can you believe it? Chick -fil
44:17
-A closed on Sundays. But they were open. Please
44:23
continue. No, you're good. You're good. She was
44:27
like, yeah, I went to this meeting for Chick
44:28
-fil -A sandwiches. They didn't even have them.
44:30
They ran out. But they were talking about exactly
44:33
what you were telling me about and how Bitcoin
44:35
is just a vehicle for black market industries.
44:38
So when you say they, It was the people at Chick
44:41
-fil -A? Oh, okay. Yeah. This is in Capitol Hill.
44:45
Gotcha. And, uh... I just get hung up on things.
44:49
No, you're good. I'm sitting there like, dude,
44:51
so like, who at Chick -fil -A was... You're like,
44:55
you're like, I'm gonna get me an anaconda bit
44:57
in here somehow. I know, it was like, can we
45:00
keep going? I really need an anaconda jump right
45:02
now. It'll be a sick callback. Right? Oh, dude.
45:06
But I'm just sitting here... This fucking illuminati
45:09
like in my head like as you're telling me the
45:12
story She's still like dressed in red and like
45:14
floating around and you're walking around with
45:17
like your back Backwards trucker hat. Yeah, like
45:20
in a Hawaiian shirt. Just being like yeah, dude
45:22
fucking Bitcoin, bro Just some crack. Oh, yes.
45:26
So like, you know, I just yeah. Oh dude chick
45:29
-fil -a Yeah, so like so I apologize cuz I kind
45:35
of attached myself to everything but uh, okay,
45:39
so She's in Capitol Hill talking about Bitcoin.
45:43
Yeah, they're all talking about how bitcoins
45:45
a vehicle for black market industries And really,
45:49
she said their main concern was how it's a tax
45:52
evasion tool and how you like, there's very little
45:55
fees to sending it here and there, you know,
45:58
moving money. It's just, they just care about
46:01
money. And we had a dinner. She takes me to this
46:05
Chinese restaurant. Nice, nice restaurant, right?
46:09
And it's like really close to the capital. It's
46:11
in D .C. And she's celebrating. Right? This is
46:15
in September. This is before the government shutdown
46:18
happened in October, if you remember that. Oh,
46:21
no. I didn't even know. Yeah. So in October,
46:25
there was a big shutdown, like the government
46:26
shutdown, a bunch of people got laid off, a bunch
46:29
of people, the military didn't get paid. Oh,
46:31
fuck that. Yeah, it was fucked up. That happened
46:34
to me once. And then she was like, yeah, it's
46:38
gonna happen for sure. They already knew it was,
46:43
and on CNN, they're like, you know, there's a
46:45
timer, like, is it gonna happen? Is it not gonna
46:48
happen? You know, and it's like, it's like, no,
46:50
it's not because of the, everybody on the news
46:52
is like, oh, it's because of the Republicans,
46:54
and the Republicans are like, it's because of
46:55
the Democrats. You know, they're just doing that
46:56
WWE fighting back and forth. And I'm sitting
46:59
here with one of them. Yeah, Donald Trump's up
47:03
on the ropes. Boom! Oh! Biden is dead! I thought
47:09
it would be funny if a politician played as a
47:13
Democrat or a Republican the entire time and
47:15
then they got in the office and they're like,
47:17
I'm actually a Democrat! I'm actually a Republican!
47:20
Everybody's like, what? He rips his mask off
47:22
and it's all blue. It's like, whoa, Donald Trump's
47:25
not red, he's actually blue! Less guns, no more
47:33
guns. Yeah, no more guns. Everybody's like, oh!
47:37
KK marriage is no longer allowed. Everyone is
47:42
gay. Everyone is so gay right now. Everyone is
47:47
the gayest of all gays. I've never seen anyone
47:49
nearly as gay as me. I am so gay. I walked in
47:53
and I said, wow, I'm gay. I've always been gay.
47:59
Ivana doesn't address her anyway. I address her.
48:04
Trump. Anyway, but uh, so sorry. Yeah. No, you're
48:07
good. So where where did the I'm still like dude
48:09
I'm hanging on by a thread right now trying to
48:11
figure out where this anaconda came from anyway
48:17
no uh dude like i'm like okay all right so chick
48:19
-fil -a chinese restaurant illuminati oh you're
48:22
here it is food i know i'm like dude she obviously
48:27
tried to feed you she saw that the fasting wasn't
48:29
working she's like this boy needs fucking chick
48:32
-fil -a okay we now i didn't get to eat chick
48:34
-fil -a man i was jealous she was like jealous
48:37
no fuck you this is congress who's the illuminati
48:41
you gotta pay for this with bitcoin You're gonna
48:44
buy our Chick -fil -A, and you're gonna get nothing.
48:46
So how'd you figure out that she was in the Illuminati,
48:49
and did she just go like, yes, UFOs are real?
48:52
She said they had secret meetings. She had brothers
48:55
and sisters, mentors. She broke it down in that
48:59
sense, and I was like, oh, you know what I mean?
49:02
Like, we're having a dinner in the Chinese restaurant,
49:05
and she's like, yeah, we had secret meetings
49:07
in Capitol Hill, basically saying, don't be too
49:10
flashy in the public optic. There's a lot of
49:13
people struggling out there. And you got there
49:16
at this really nice restaurant? Yeah, we're at
49:19
this nice restaurant, and she's celebrating the
49:22
shutdown. The shutdown hasn't even happened.
49:24
And she was like, basically, there's stipend
49:28
checks. She goes, we're all lawyers looking for
49:32
loopholes in the system to put American taxpayer
49:34
money into our own pockets without the public
49:37
knowing. So one of those ways is a government
49:40
shutdown. In a government shutdown, they get
49:42
months and months of checks ahead of time all
49:45
at once. And then when it opens back up, they
49:47
continue getting checks again. So it's like,
49:50
it's a legal way to put taxpayer money into their
49:53
own pockets without anybody noticing it. Oh,
49:55
that's fucked. Sucks. So they just play this
49:58
like, oh, it's because of the Democrats. Oh,
50:00
it's because of the Republicans. They do this
50:01
fake bickering, blame each other on the reason
50:04
for the shutdown. And really, it's all of them
50:06
combined. And then they take a bunch of American
50:09
taxpayer money instead of paying the military
50:12
instead of paying federal employees They just
50:14
put all that money into their own pockets and
50:16
they party Yeah, and they celebrate because they
50:19
just got a huge bag and they tell they had secret
50:22
meetings telling you know the the newer Inductees
50:26
of this shit like hey, don't be too flashy out
50:28
there. Yeah, we're supposed to be poor. Yeah.
50:31
Yeah, there's people struggling out there. Yeah
50:34
Ah, yes. This Cavassier is very good. Yeah. From
50:38
the 1912s. She had that walk, too. She had the
50:41
walk, you know what I mean? She had the glass,
50:43
like she was fucking... She was like floating
50:44
around. Top shit, you know what I mean? And I
50:46
was like, that's just not me, you know what I
50:49
mean? And she told me all this, and she even
50:52
sent me a $150 cash app that night. Like... I
50:57
mean, dude, I'm looking at this money, right?
51:00
$150 in my cash app, and I'm like, this is American
51:03
taxpayer money. Mm, interesting. This is your
51:07
money. This is everyone's watching money. Like,
51:10
this is our money, and they just took it from
51:13
us. You didn't think to yourself at any point
51:16
that, like, hey, I'm glad somebody fed me and
51:19
gave me money? I am grateful for that, but it's
51:22
just like, it's stolen money. Yeah, okay. It's
51:25
literally stolen from everyone Yeah, you know
51:27
like so like it did you like the dumper and then
51:30
go on your peanut butter falcon quest or no I
51:33
I left What there was two things yeah, she was
51:37
like I'm like I can get you into any any college
51:39
Just one email like we're gonna set you up and
51:42
in like it was it was getting serious So she
51:44
wanted to do like what did she want anything
51:46
from you other than no she she was just like
51:50
you're my future husband You know what I mean?
51:51
She was like head over heels for me within like
51:54
a week and a half, bro. Like it was so quick,
51:57
you know? And I just, I was like, look, I have
52:02
family. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not getting
52:07
into this, whatever this is. This is going to
52:10
get me killed or somebody else around me killed.
52:12
Dude, it kind of sounds like she wanted a relationship.
52:15
Yeah, she did, but she wanted it like, she was
52:17
like, you could be, you know, like whatever,
52:20
you know, politically and I can get you in any
52:22
university, you know, like one email away. She
52:25
had that level of power, you know, and, and,
52:28
and, you know, that's like a millionaire billionaire
52:32
lifestyle that I was like, look, that takes corruption.
52:36
I'm not doing that. You know, I was just pouring
52:39
concrete in Indiana. And you don't want to end
52:42
up a convict. Not even that. I'd have been fine,
52:47
you know. But it's that money, all this money
52:51
that you're getting is taken from the crew that
52:54
I was just working with. I'm not about to be
52:58
a millionaire off the backs of other people like
53:01
that. That's not me. I don't care. I'll walk
53:05
away from that lifestyle. I do not care. Interesting.
53:08
Yeah, no, it's kind of like, I don't know, it's
53:11
just kind of like a funny, it's a funny little
53:13
story. It's kind of crazy. It is. It's insane.
53:15
Yeah, it is insane. And it all started off of
53:17
hearing the voice of God, which is like, all
53:20
right, you're schizophrenic. And it's like, all
53:22
right, dude, whatever. Look at the outcome. You
53:25
know what I mean? Literally meeting a woman that
53:27
works in Capitol Hill. Yeah. And getting government
53:32
secrets. Who's in the Illuminati, which is the
53:35
secret society of Congress. Does she say that
53:38
too? Does she go like, I'm in the Illuminati?
53:40
No. No. No. It just, you just, oh, you're, you
53:44
know, she was calling me days after I left. She's
53:46
like, yeah, I'm with my mentor and my brothers
53:48
and sisters and they're all like senators and
53:50
shit in the fucking Congress. You're like, oh.
53:53
Yeah, we're just floating around right now. There's
53:55
an anaconda right here. It's around my shoulders
53:58
and everything. You're like, I don't want none
54:00
of this. Yeah. My anaconda don't want none. Unless
54:04
you got buns on. Yeah. But so like, OK, so you
54:08
leave DC and then you end up like, so you're
54:11
Shia LaBeouf in peanut butter fogging, right?
54:16
No, I'm the guy with Down syndrome and Jesus
54:22
is shy of the buff. Really, that's really what
54:25
it is. Oh. No, man. Yeah, I left. I went back
54:31
to Indiana. I dipped. I just, you know what I
54:36
mean? And I still have her phone number. Yeah.
54:40
You know what I mean? Don't know man. It's it's
54:46
it's insane. It is yeah I always kind of thought
54:50
like Illuminati was just kind of a joke to me
54:52
like I whatever you know I mean, yeah, then there's
54:55
like musicians and and and you know, Hollywood
54:59
Illuminati now this was congressional like Political
55:06
yeah, you know, yeah like our nation's backbone.
55:10
Yeah kind of thing One of the powerhouses of
55:13
the world. And I, she, I could see it. She had
55:17
that walk. She had that, you know, I could, you
55:20
know, send an email. You could go to any universe.
55:23
You know what I mean? Anywhere you want. Like,
55:25
we're gonna set you up. You're my future husband.
55:27
But at what cost? You know? Yeah, at what cost?
55:29
At what cost? You know, taxpayer money onto everyone
55:32
else. And I judged her and I left. And I felt
55:35
the Lord kind of put it on my heart like that.
55:37
That was a mistake. I should have stuck with
55:39
it. Because I could have made it an influence,
55:41
you know, good character, you know, chant, you
55:43
know, because she was a good woman. She wasn't
55:46
like a bad woman. She was Christ -like. She,
55:49
she earnestly was in prayer a lot and suck, like
55:52
seek the Lord. I'm sorry. What was that? Yeah.
56:02
Fucking, damn dude, Illuminati's a crazy condom.
56:05
Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm just a little confused.
56:08
So she was, in the Illuminati, completely evil
56:10
for stealing taxpayers' money, but she was a
56:12
good woman. Decent. Yeah. Decent. I mean, nobody's
56:16
really a good person. I mean, there are good
56:18
people, but you know what I mean? It's like,
56:20
you know, that Jesus says in Mark 10, 18, you
56:23
know, why thou callest me good. No one is good
56:27
except God alone, you know, mm -hmm. So But uh,
56:32
yeah, no She was she was a you know, she tried
56:35
her best. She was trying she was really earnestly
56:37
trying it just seemed like she just ended up
56:40
somewhere where it's like She doesn't do that.
56:42
I mean, we're just you know, her life could be
56:45
on the line Her family's life could be on the
56:47
line at that point. It's like you know, gun to
56:50
your head, it's like, yeah, all right, I'm just
56:52
not gonna say anything when I get these thousands
56:54
of dollars in my pocket. You know what I mean?
56:56
That's all I gotta do is not say anything and
56:58
just go step by step. It's like, all right. Sometimes
57:01
I guess like, I don't know this for certain,
57:03
I'm just, you know, but sometimes people are
57:05
like victims of circumstance, you know what I
57:06
mean? Yeah. And so sometimes I think like, when
57:09
it comes to like shit like that, like maybe that,
57:11
you know, it's like she was in a position where...
57:14
You know that does she had to take money? Of
57:16
course, it's complete speculation. She could
57:18
have been blackmailed I mean when it comes to
57:20
that level of you're in Capitol Hill, it's like
57:22
dude. Yes, you know can't fuck around, you know
57:26
And there's those people that pose as like good
57:28
white knights. And it's like, no, none of the
57:30
white knights in there, they're all blackmailed.
57:32
Everybody's blackmailed. You know what I mean?
57:33
That's just how it works at that level, especially
57:35
in secret societies. It's like, they got dirt
57:38
on you for a minute. And if they don't, it's
57:40
like, we got a scope on your family. You know
57:42
what I mean? Yeah, it's kind of a weird thing,
57:46
man. It is a weird thing. You know, it's a, it
57:49
just, because you don't, you don't ever, you
57:50
don't know what people are capable of, you know?
57:53
And a lot of times, like, you don't really realize,
57:55
like, the influence that people have on you until
57:57
they do, you know? Or sometimes you don't realize
58:00
the influence that people have on you until they
58:01
let go, you know? And that's, you know, like,
58:04
sometimes I still struggle with that because
58:06
I've stopped, like, things in my life for, like,
58:10
areas where some of my family members have told
58:13
me that I'm not the strongest. And... So it's
58:17
like, it kind of, it makes me like, you know,
58:20
back then I was so influential that I listened
58:22
to them and I just like let it happen. And then
58:25
it wasn't till I grew. And then I kind of learned
58:28
I'm like, they have no influence on my life whatsoever.
58:32
You know what I mean? And so it's kind of like,
58:35
like I had to grow up to learn that. And so in
58:38
many ways I still am learning. It's kind of crazy,
58:40
you know? But dude, like, I feel like there's...
58:43
God, you got, like, material in that little story.
58:46
Yeah, I do need to make something. I got a lot
58:50
of things I just haven't sat down and, like,
58:52
broke apart yet for material. Yeah. Dude, I know
58:55
what you mean, man. Like, the only thing I've
58:57
got right now is anaconda. That's the only thing
59:00
I got going for me, dude. And you kind of don't.
59:04
Right? I'm like, so how do you feel that you
59:08
are at stand -up? Like, do you feel like that
59:10
you're good at it? Or do you feel like... Some
59:13
days I am, but when I start thinking I'm too
59:15
good at it, I bomb. It's like a humbling thing.
59:18
I call it a God thing, you know, in situations
59:20
like that, you know. Whatever. So... But hold
59:24
on. Can I go back to what I was saying earlier
59:26
for a second? Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I didn't mean
59:27
to bulldoze. No, you're good. You're good. I
59:30
will say this. I judged her and all of them for
59:33
being tax collectors. Mm -hmm. And then Jesus
59:37
put on my heart that that was a mistake for me
59:38
leaving. Because when Jesus sat down and ate
59:41
with the people, and they were like, why are
59:43
you sitting and eating with them? It was the
59:45
tax collectors. It was tax collectors? Yeah.
59:48
Like those 12, those 12 guys he ate breakfast
59:50
with? No, those are, those were his disciples.
59:53
Oh, oh. Which they were all like teenagers and
59:55
like lower 20s too. Yeah, they were like 19,
59:59
17, 20, and he got a bunch of, the disciples
1:00:02
were young. But not all of them. I think some
1:00:06
of them were older. But most of his disciples
1:00:08
were young. Correct me if I'm wrong, Internet.
1:00:12
But yeah, they were tax collectors. And the people
1:00:17
were like, why are you sitting and eating with
1:00:19
them? So if Jesus came back today, he'd be sitting
1:00:22
with the tax collectors. The politicians that
1:00:26
we are like, they're scumbags taking from us.
1:00:31
Trump and all them, you know, he'd be sitting
1:00:33
and eating with them. Like I'm a doctor. I'm
1:00:37
here to heal them. You know what I mean? Mm -hmm.
1:00:40
I'm not here for the people that are already
1:00:42
righteous and good. I'm here to save the sinners,
1:00:45
you know? And then he also had a whole sermon
1:00:47
because the church judged just like I did. I
1:00:50
judged her for being a tax collector when I met
1:00:51
her and all that and then I left. I judged. I
1:00:53
was like, you know, whatever. Mm -hmm. And then
1:00:56
there's a sermon where or there's a part where
1:00:59
Jesus, he He brings in a prostitute and a tax
1:01:03
collector into the church, speaking to the pastors
1:01:05
and the church members saying, very truly I tell
1:01:08
you, they shall enter the kingdom of heaven before
1:01:11
you. Mm -hmm. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Well, um,
1:01:16
yeah, I'm sorry, but I hate it because this is
1:01:18
like one of those things I was telling you about
1:01:19
where like we Yeah, but we can yeah, it could
1:01:21
be a tendency like to kind of veer off or whatever
1:01:24
But uh, yeah, we're actually at the point right
1:01:26
now where we're gonna stop it Okay, but uh, but
1:01:29
yeah, I was gonna say that that do you like,
1:01:31
you know, I'm happy you came on Thank you so
1:01:33
much for coming on. Um, I had fucked on a phone.
1:01:36
It was a lot of fun And I loved hearing that
1:01:38
story about the the Illuminati lady. Yeah, pardon
1:01:41
my pardon my goofiness like no, that's okay,
1:01:44
dude Like I get it. You gotta be goofy man. Yeah,
1:01:46
I just just kind of like just kind of am but
1:01:49
anyway, uh But this is this is your camera right
1:01:52
here. Is there anything that you want to tell
1:01:53
the people man? Um Here, let me pull it up. Yes.
1:01:57
We're gonna pull it up right now on the camera
1:02:00
Yes He's got his phone out. This is my main My
1:02:06
cell phone is out. He's tapping away tapping
1:02:09
away on the cellular telephonic communication
1:02:11
device This is all I got this is my my final
1:02:15
message It's all about love in first John 4 16
1:02:23
it says God is love and He who abides in love
1:02:27
abides in God and God in him So it's all about
1:02:31
love above all love each other deeply. That's
1:02:34
that is the main Essence of everything creation
1:02:38
everything it's all about love God is love Hell
1:02:43
yeah, man. Well, dude, thank you so much for
1:02:45
coming on man. It's a great freaking message,
1:02:47
dude Do you have any shows or anything lined
1:02:48
up at all or uh Friday and Saturdays I do Vulcan
1:02:55
heavy hitters and Saturdays and Jack's loon Spotlight
1:03:01
series I've been running Narbara or been doing
1:03:05
and running Narbo Narbara shows now Just on Thursday
1:03:10
nights midnight Friday night midnight 10 o 'clock
1:03:13
you've been out Saturday night midnight You know,
1:03:16
I'm doing the shows and and starting to run them
1:03:18
now. So it's pretty cool. Um, yeah, my Instagram
1:03:21
is Isaiah Pichardo for love Sure, it'll be on
1:03:26
the the link or yeah, yeah Yeah, I always put
1:03:29
everybody's stuff out there so they can catch
1:03:32
you anywhere and everything But I just wanted
1:03:33
to give you you know the stage to say something
1:03:35
but uh, but dude Thank you so much for coming
1:03:37
on man. I really appreciate it Hope you had a
1:03:39
good time dude, and you know if we pray to end
1:03:41
it off I don't really do that, but if you if
1:03:45
that's what you want to do man You're more than
1:03:46
welcome to yes, please no respect that for sure
1:03:49
sweet All right, you ready? Heavenly Father,
1:03:53
thank you for this opportunity. I pray that you
1:03:55
bless him and his podcasts and his future endeavors
1:03:58
and all the future comedians that he has on this
1:04:03
show, God, and all the listeners hearing this,
1:04:05
God. I pray that you reveal yourself to us, give
1:04:08
us wisdom, discernment, love, peace, joy, faith,
1:04:13
and hope. And I pray that you give us peace that
1:04:16
surpasses all understanding and your glory shines
1:04:20
through me and Everyone watching in Jesus name.
1:04:23
Amen Awesome brother, man. Well, thanks again,
1:04:26
man. I really appreciate it dude. Thank you really
1:04:28
good episode. That was awesome. Oh, yeah Yeah,
1:04:30
and that's it. That is a wrap. Thank you for
1:04:32
tuning in. Have a good night