Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / More Everybody's Got A Fork Story

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More Everybody's Got A Fork Story · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Everybody's got a fork story. Tom, what's your pork story?
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, good morning.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: Uh yeah, so I've got one I'll never forget for
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: the rest of my days. I was a freshman in
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: high school working in a dietary department at a retirement home.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: I was serving a gentleman retired veteran, and we didn't
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: have the right kind of insure for him. I only
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: had vanilla, but he wanted strawberry, and I kept trying
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: to since we don't have any.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Stabbed me with the pork.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, in my thigh.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he stabbed me in my leg. It was bleeding
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: out a little bit. I went back. They cleaned it up,
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: and they're.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Like, hey, get back to work.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: So some I'll forget or I won't forget for the
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: rest of my life.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: You got like four little marks on your leg or
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: five little marks?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: I still got yep, I got two left on there.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: All right, Tom, Thanks brother Amanda. Everybody's got a fork story.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: What's yours?
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: So we went to Westgate for a friend of ours
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: fortieth birthday a nail and an ex girlfriend of his
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: showed up, and the new girlfriend did not take too
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: kindly to this and evening when we were out there.
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: We were at dinner and I jokingly made a comment.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, you could always shank her in
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: the bathroom, like with a fork, And the next thing
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: I know, they both kind of like at separate times,
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: went to the restroom and the ex girlfriend came back
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: holding a fork and she handed it to our friend
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: whose birthday it was, and he was like, your girlfriend
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: just handed this to me in the bathroom and asked
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: if I could bring it back to the table, And
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: I just thought it was so funny, and she and I,
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: like the new girlfriend and I became such good friends.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: I actually have a pair of fork earrings that I'm
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: wearing today that reminds me of her always. So when
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: you guys said that, I was like, oh my god,
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: I'm wearing my fork earring day.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: That is perfect. That is a perfect story. Wow, she's
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: wearing her right.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I put them on this morning and I was like, no, way,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: that's perfect.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: But hey, just to be clear, though, she didn't go
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom and stab her, right, she didn't hand
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: you the fork back blood of he didn't.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: She ran Yeah, no, she ran into her the dothroom.
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: She's like, oh, here, could you just take this back
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: to the table for me? And the other girl had
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: no idea what she was.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It was just so funny. When she came back, I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, that's so clever. Well, thanks
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: for calling in. See everyone's got a fork story. Thanks Amanda, Melissa,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: what's your fork story? So what?
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: My daughter she's sixteen now, but when she was like nine,
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: we were on vacation in California and San Diego and
• 2:48
  Speaker 6: she just she wanted to bring this scork with her
• 2:52
  Speaker 6: on vacation and it just kept popping up and she's
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: just like, I just.
• 2:56
  Speaker 7: Feel like we need to bring this scork with us.
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: Like I have this car memory of us walking back
• 3:01
  Speaker 7: from the beach to where we parked, and I found
• 3:03
  Speaker 7: the fork in one of the pockets of the stroller
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: and she's like, I just I feel like we need
• 3:09
  Speaker 7: to have it. And I'm like, Okay, what does she know?
• 3:12
  Speaker 6: Is this cremonation? Like are we gonna need to like
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: protect ourselves with this sport? It was so random, and
• 3:19
  Speaker 6: I just texted her I wish she was in the
• 3:21
  Speaker 6: car and he dropped her off and I was wondering
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: if I was wondering if she remembered it and what
• 3:26
  Speaker 6: she recalled, like, what was her thought process? Was an anxiety?
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Was it just oh my gosh, it.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Was so random.
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: But we all supported her in it. We're like, okay,
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: you can bring the fork.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Well, see everyone's got a fork story. That's a cute
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: fork story, not the violet kind we've been taking. We'll
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: have a great day. Thank you for listening, Melissa. Bye tomorrow.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Everyone's got a spoon story. No spoon story tomorrow, No
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: spoon story. I did see this in the news yesterday,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: and it's kind I kind of felt like somewhat is
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the word vindicated? Is that whatever you feel like? Justified? Justified?
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Because back in the day, I would tell Rich how
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I would go to all these different fast food restaurants.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I would go, let's say, Burger King, and I'd get
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: a big Mac, and then I go to Taco Bell
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: and get a bean burrito or Chiloopa or something, and
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: then I go to Burger King. You know, I'd go
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: to Wedndays to get this movie that I would literally
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: go to all these fat food joints. And then yesterday
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: it was like all over the news it said there's
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: a new survey out on American's favorite items at various restaurants.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: They said, how crazy is it to stop a multiple
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: fast food places to build a perfect fast food meal?
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yes, you should have been following me
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: twenty years ago.
• 4:46
  Speaker 8: I feel like that's a trend that's kind of going
• 4:48
  Speaker 8: around right now too, So you were ahead of that,
• 4:49
  Speaker 8: John Jay.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: So they actually have they put together what they say
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: is the perfect fast food meal. So let me run
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: this by you. It featured. It's a burger king burger,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: a chick filet, chicken sandwich, McDonald's French fries, and chicken nuggets,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: washed down with a soda or dairy Queen milkshake. But
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I think if they say soda, you gotta be specific.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I think McDonald's has the best soda they do. They
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: have great coke. And there's also like then they they'd
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: a break. They broke down with the favorite fast food hamburger,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: which is burg King faull by Wendy's. Then fast food
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: chicken was Chick fil A, falled by Popeyes, favorite fast
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: food chicken nugg It's McDonald fouled by Chick fil A,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: favorite fast food French fries. McDonald's falled by Wendy's. So
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I just kind of felt like I was way ahead.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I can't believe it. Make your Taco Bell. I think
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Tacobo is becoming a little bit more serious. I can't. Like,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: you don't just go to Tacobo get one thing. You
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: go to Taco Bell and you get everything. Yeah, lots
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: of different things.
• 5:41
  Speaker 8: Have you seen the new Taco Bell. They have like
• 5:43
  Speaker 8: basically like fried sauce packets what. Yeah, So they basically
• 5:48
  Speaker 8: take like a breaded, I don't know, like square rectangle
• 5:53
  Speaker 8: looking thing and then they put the mild sauce or
• 5:55
  Speaker 8: the hot sauce in there. You're supposed to like take
• 5:57
  Speaker 8: a bite and then pour it on your taco.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I used to drink. I used to drink the sauce
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: right out. I still, you know, I guess looks Gerald's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: got a fork story? What's up? Gerald?
• 6:07
  Speaker 8: Hey?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: John J. Riche?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: When I was a kid. So, when I was a kid,
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: me and my neighbor got into a flight in my
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: backyard and there was a barbecue you know, those those
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: barbecue forks that you drunk. So I chucked it. I
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: chucked it at him and he hit and it and
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: it literally hid his nose and stuck, but he didn't
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: stab his eyes. And you know the side where your
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: nose and your eyes are, and it stood right there
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: on his nose and everything. And he was like, what,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I'm like, dude, did he cut you? He goes, no, dude,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: it's just like it caught my nose stop before it
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: went into my eyes.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: That's a perfect shot.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I'm very good with nice. Yeah, but
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: it freaked me out because I was trying to get
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: hit him in the face, you know, and it just
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: is and he's just like what I'm like, dude, He goes, no, dude,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: look it's stopped, and I will and it literally caught
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: the bridge of his nose and just stopped right before
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: his eyes, right, you know, with the corner of your
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: eyes are. And yeah, I got I got yelled at.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Sure, you know, I gotta do that.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. My mom and dad and his parents like, no
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: more nice playing.
• 7:21
  Speaker 9: I'm like, okay, because because not everybody has a barbecue
• 7:26
  Speaker 9: tool story, we're gonna allow that as a fork story.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah all right, thanks Gerald. Look there's a text here.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: When I was nineteen, I was at Savers getting decorate decorations, decorations,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: but fascinations to get decorations, the savers you get decorations,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: fascinations dicorated. I just came up with the brands getting
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: you said savers getting a decorations for apartment. She was
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: my cousin. I found a giant wooden fork. It's probably
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: four feet long. I still have it today and it's
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: moved with me over the last twenty one years. I'm
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: still searching for a giant spoon. There's another text. When
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I was younger, my best friend lived with me. My
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: mom would make chicken and rice. I always would give
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: my best friend my chicken, and I would always take
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: her rice. One night, I went to get the rice
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: off her plate. She thought I was taking her chicken,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: and she stabbed me with a forge of my thigh.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Everyone's got a fork storg a deal? But do you
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: have the Miley Cyrus transition music Hannah mon Tennant Let's
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: transition real quick? Nicole has something totally different? Was that nical?
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: So I decided to call and share a super amrazing
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: story that happened to me on Thursday. I when I
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: live in Portland, Oregon, I went to a really nice
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: salon to get a facial her birthday gift. And you
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: know after a facial, you don't put your regular clothes
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: back on. You always bring an extra prayer comfy clothes,
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: so put that on. I'm leaving and as them pointing
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: out to this busy main area of Lake Oshwego, I
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: have a giant fighter call out of my visor. And
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: when I say giant, I mean like the size of.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: A cub Like, okay, then what happened?
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: I I honestly feel like I morphed. I could move
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: somehow from my driver's seat into my passage while putting
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: in my car in park, and I jumped out the
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: other side of my car and left my car in
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: the middle of the road and just stood there. And
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: then a lady made icntacts with me and said are
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: you okay? And I said, I'm absolutely not okay, and
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: she I was like, there's a giant spider on my visor.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: She looks in and she goes, there's messing there. And
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: I'm like, did I just like hallucinate it or did it?
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Was it really there? And so I was like, I
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: can't get back in my car. If it's really there,
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: I can't get back in. So another guy comes over.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: He parks his truck. He thinks that, but he's dying
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: because of all the screaming that's happening. And I'm like, well,
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: there's a spider. And I'm jumping up and down because
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: I'm very afraid. And in the middle of all this,
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: I look down and there's a pair of underwear hanging
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: out of my sweatpants leg that like I forgot, like
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: I had grabbed sweatpants in the morning to change into this.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: So now I'm already embarrassed, and now a pair of
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: dirty underwear are hanging out of my buses. God he
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: grabbed them. But they did find this fighter. We didn't
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: kill it because they said it was bad luck. But
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: I didn't drive my car for four days. Yeah.
• 10:38
  Speaker 8: Do you never know in there, like how did it
• 10:41
  Speaker 8: get there?
• 10:44
  Speaker 9: You always checked for your enter pants.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Now I'm sure.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: I'm underpants, and my visor, I flip it down and
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: I make sure, and I'm doing a scan of my car.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I'm tended to go and ask for like the security
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: footage of that area, just to.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: CCDV. You know, you get a really good job. When
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: you described it the size of a cutie. That's when
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: we all went to have it. So you saw it
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: on the on the on the visor. Did it get
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: on your forehead? Was it like crawling actually on your
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: person yet or No.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: I'm actually freaking out a little bit because I'm driving
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: right now in the same car and it's like it's
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: reoccurring to me. But yeah, it's like I sit up
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: close and so my head is very close to my
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: visor and I just saw like two of these legs
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: starting to kick out at first.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, visor, I thought you made
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: a head visor like she was wearing a hat sun visor. Oh,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I thought, like I hadn't crawled out on your forehead. Oh,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: you know what you gotta tell you. Nicoles. My mom
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: when I was in college, My mom worked at the
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: chick ashing place, right so she and she hates Mike.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: She's afraid of mice. One time there was a mouse
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: running around the chickashing place and she was like, I
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: need you to come here and get this mouse. And
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is one of my mouse collector.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: But I caught the freaking mouse and I had it
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: in the shoebox. I was going to the beach to
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: go surfing, and because we lived at San Diego and
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I had the shoe box and I had to sing
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: on my on my pastor's side of the car, and
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: the mouse freaking jumps up and he hits the shoe
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: box lid and jumps out and goes on the floor,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: and it's running around my car on I'm on the
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: freeway and it goes over to where my feet are
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: my gas pedal, and I'm like, I'm I'm running around
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: it running around my car is the freeway and I
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: just let off everything and I just coast. I'm in,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I'm looking the freeway coast. Do you like it? And
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I pulled over his shoulder and I get out of
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: the car. I'm like, like, all of a sudden, I'm
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: afraid of the mouse. I wasn't when I caught it. Anyway,
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: never found the mouse, so I don't know if it's
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: still lived in my car or not. Really did you
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: never showed up anywhere? What's that?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say. I was gonna tell you that
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: when the guy ended up finding the spider, he said
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: some choice phrases and said, I'm so glad. I was
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: gonna pretend that I caught this and killed it, and
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I was going to just put your mind at ease
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: and have you get back in your car, and he's like,
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: I'm so glad I didn't because if this thing would
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: have crawled on me, I would have crashed. And I
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: was like, thank you for not pretending.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Nicole, thank you so much for listening. That's a great story.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you. Guys.
• 13:19
  Speaker 9: That's why you don't want to live on a lake.
• 13:20
  Speaker 9: Those those lake spiders get gigantic.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: What's your spider story? There are no happy spiders.