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Do Narcissists have true friends · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So do narcissists have true friends?
• 0:05
  Like you got a friend in me? Do they have a friend in you or
• 0:10
  in anybody? Is there anybody that do
• 0:12
  narcissists have long term friendships or real true
• 0:15
  friendships? That's what we talked about
• 0:17
  today. Y'all.
• 0:18
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:19
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist giving you the perspective of a
• 0:22
  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:24
  of The Narcissist Code. We're in my son's room studio
• 0:47
  because my house is full. There's people everywhere.
• 0:49
  But I still got to work. I still got to get the got to
• 0:52
  get these videos in. I still got to reach more
• 0:54
  people. I still got to help people.
• 0:56
  So here I am in my son's room. He's 16.
• 0:59
  He stinks. No, I'm joking.
• 1:01
  Yeah, this is where I'm at right now.
• 1:02
  Y'all so narcissistic people and friends.
• 1:07
  Can a narcissist even have a real friend?
• 1:09
  Do they have true friends? And let me ask you this question
• 1:13
  like this, It really depends out because I let's, let's keep it
• 1:17
  hot. Y'all know, I got to keep it hot
• 1:19
  and I got to keep it ready. It really truly depends because
• 1:23
  there are a lot of nurses out here who cannot, who do not have
• 1:26
  who do not have real true authentic friendships.
• 1:29
  They don't exist. They are loners.
• 1:32
  They are lonely. They are just isolated people.
• 1:36
  They're just truly, truly introverted people.
• 1:40
  They don't like being around people at all.
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  They don't have it or just they're, they're not trustworthy
• 1:45
  people. People don't want to be around
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  them. And let me say this right here,
• 1:50
  just because you are a loner and like to be alone sometimes does
• 1:55
  not mean that you are a narcissist.
• 1:58
  I have to say that because when I say that, when I say that in
• 2:00
  some videos, people were like, well, Lee, I'm a loner.
• 2:02
  That doesn't make me a narcissist.
• 2:03
  Like, no, the hell have you been manipulated and cheated and
• 2:06
  beating up people to do all the other kind of crazy stuff?
• 2:08
  No, you're not a narcissist. No one trait, no one singular
• 2:13
  trait makes you a narcissist. So being a loner absolutely does
• 2:17
  not make you a narcissist, right, Because there are
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  narcissists out there, like I said, that are true loners.
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  They don't want to be around people like they don't trust
• 2:24
  people and people don't trust them.
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  It's like a two way St. you don't trust me and I don't trust
• 2:29
  you. So it'll be better for the world
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  if I'm, if I'm alone, everybody would be better off if I'm by
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  myself, if I'm, if I'm not around y'all.
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  And that's the mindset that a lot of narcissistic people take
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  right there. It really is.
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  That's the mindset that they take.
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  Well, if I'm not around, if not around other people, then I'll
• 2:48
  be fine. I'll be OK.
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  I'll be this, I'll be that. So it really is a process, y'all
• 2:52
  a process of dealing with the manipulative abusive person,
• 2:56
  right? So there are narcissists out
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  there who have no friends at all.
• 3:01
  Zero friends. They're like yo this shit.
• 3:03
  Yo. Let me say this again, being a
• 3:06
  loner doesn't mean that you are a narcissist.
• 3:09
  But that should make the red flags go up regardless, right?
• 3:14
  Again, being a loner does not mean that you're a narcissist.
• 3:18
  But it's just like when you were meeting somebody and they tell
• 3:21
  you, well, I don't have any friends.
• 3:23
  Does that not make you think a little?
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  Yeah, it don't make you think a little bit like you was hard
• 3:27
  wondering like, damn you, you really a loner.
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  You really by yourself, Like nobody likes you or you don't
• 3:33
  like anybody else. You don't think that right
• 3:35
  there. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's why I'm just like, yo, you know, a, a, a a smidge, a
• 3:40
  little bit, a little, a little bit.
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  You see what I'm saying? But that's a big piece of you.
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  That's a part of it right there. So as you continue to move on
• 3:50
  and deal with narcissistic people or after, after you
• 3:53
  survived and thrived through a narcissistic relationship,
• 3:56
  understand that maybe this person not having friends, not
• 4:00
  having people around them being super paranoid or whatever, it
• 4:03
  could be a red flag of toxic but toxic person.
• 4:07
  But always a big butt. Isn't it a big old butt?
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  BUTTTTTTTTT. But on the other side of things,
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  there are narcissists out there who absolutely have a lot of
• 4:20
  friends. Y'all?
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  Yes, it is true. It is.
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  It is true that there are some narcissists who are surrounded
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  by people who enjoy their presence, who like them, who
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  who, who, who really, really like them, who they've been
• 4:35
  friends with for 10/20, thirty, 4050 years, their lifetime
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  friendship. They've been friends since high
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  school, since since they were neighbors when they were in
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  kindergarten. They've been friends for 30
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  years, for their entire life. They, some of them narcissists
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  do have those friendships. Y'all, let's keep it hot because
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  No2 narcissists are exactly the same.
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  Y'all hear me say that over and over again?
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  No2 narcissists are the same, right?
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  So as you, as you come to realize that, understand that
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  some narcissists are going to have friends, they're going to
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  have people around them, which is why I said earlier, if they
• 5:09
  don't have friends, it could be red flaggy, right?
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  But it doesn't mean that they're narcissists.
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  But sometimes they're surrounded by people, right?
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  So if you are dealing with a person and you hear it like you
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  heard the blanket statement that narcissists don't have any
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  friends, nobody likes to be around them.
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  Why would anybody want to be around a narcissist, blah, blah,
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  blah, blah, Boo Boo Boo B. Why would it?
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  Why this? Why that?
• 5:29
  I get that, right? I understand that sentiment.
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  But when it gets down to the nitty gritty of things, some
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  narcissists have people that actually enjoy being around
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  them. Y'all, I don't make the rules.
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  I don't even. Yeah, I only make the rules.
• 5:41
  I don't even enforce them. I'm just here to talk to you
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  about them a little bit. Just a spin a little.
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  I'm here to just spit a little bit.
• 5:48
  A little bit, a smidge, a little bit, right.
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  But this is what happens. I am one of those artists.
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  I have friends that I've, I've, I've known for 30 years.
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  I have 30. I have 30 year friends.
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  Y'all will leave. Maybe those friends don't know
• 6:01
  who you really are, y'all. Some of them follow my platform,
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  some of them see what I'm doing they like.
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  Some of them don't really know to understand the word
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  narcissism or whatever. But again, No2 narcissists are
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  the same. I haven't been to the
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  manipulative, take your girlfriend, lie to you, hurt
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  your feelings behind your back friend.
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  That's not been me. I, I, I enjoy your loyalty.
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  Loyalty, y'all. To me, loyalty means a lot.
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  I'm a loyal person. I really am.
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  That's if I surprise you, I might shock y'all, but I'm a
• 6:27
  loyal person, especially to my friends.
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  If I tell you I'm going to do something, I do something.
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  If you tell me you're going to do something and you don't do
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  it, then I might have to cut you off because I don't trust you
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  anymore. You see you see some some people
• 6:40
  that are friends are narcissist. I had AI talk about my malignant
• 6:43
  narcissist friend all the time, right?
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  Yeah, this man literally he was a malignant overt narcissist.
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  Whatever y'all want to call him. Extrovert, loud as hell,
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  boisterous. Get on your damn nerves.
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  You either you either really liked him or you hated his ass.
• 6:59
  There was no in between. His name.
• 7:02
  His name was John. You asked you like, did y'all
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  like John? I hear you would never hear
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  anybody say he's OK. You, you need to hear people say
• 7:09
  I can't stand his ass or hey, man, he cooled as hell.
• 7:13
  He's fun to be around. I was one of those people.
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  He's fun to be around, right? I understood him because I'm a
• 7:19
  narcissist. I understand it.
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  I like having other narcissists around sometimes, right?
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  And which happens, you see right there, some narcissist have
• 7:28
  other narcissist around them. Yeah.
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  It's crazy, isn't it? That's why I said sometimes you
• 7:36
  get these friendships, you get narcissists that have these true
• 7:39
  friends that know who they are, they're all around them, and
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  they themselves are also narcissists.
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  Like, could there be the, is there the off chance that
• 7:48
  somebody in the friend group is not narcissistic or not toxic?
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  Yeah, there could be the good guy or the good girl in the
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  group that just happens to be friends with everybody, right?
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  But a lot of times everybody in the group, it's kind of like, it
• 8:01
  really is kind of like a hive mindset, like a cult really.
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  Everybody thinks they're saying we all cheat, we all skeet, we
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  all repeat and we don't tell you want to be like I said, you want
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  to be around people who you can trust.
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  Narcissists feel like they can trust other narcissists to a
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  certain extent. So that does happen right there
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  when you get the narcissist that is friends with a lot of other
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  narcissists, which can, which can drive some people crazy,
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  right? They're right there.
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  They're right there in and of itself can get on a lot of
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  people's nerves right there. It absolutely can.
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  They can blow a lot of people's minds.
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  It can get on a lot of people's nerves because when you're
• 8:38
  dealing with this type of person, it can really mess with
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  you. Let's keep, yeah, let's keep it
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  hot. Let's keep it ready.
• 8:43
  Let's keep it, let's keep it all of all of the above.
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  Your narcissistic partner or whatever they have going on is
• 8:49
  going to keep doing the same things over and over again
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  because it benefits them to it in a certain way.
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  It's like they're going to keep friends around them.
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  Yes, a lot of times the narcissist friends are going to
• 9:01
  fall into the category of being a flying monkey.
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  Let's keep it real. A lot of times that narcissist
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  friends are going to fall into the category of absolutely being
• 9:12
  a flying monkey bat. They are.
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  They're going to be a flying monkey bat and they're going to
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  do flying flying monkey bat things.
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  So you have to be prepared because like you can't go to
• 9:24
  their friends and tell them like, well, Lee did this to me
• 9:27
  and they'll be like, what did you do?
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  Or they'll support or they'll support the narcissist no matter
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  what. Or those narcissist true
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  friends, even if they do know or don't know or do know and don't
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  believe the narcissist, they're still going to be the narcissist
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  friends they don't like. The narcissist does not like to
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  have people around them. They will hold them accountable.
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  So some narcissists have people around them.
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  They just refuse to hold them accountable.
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  They are surrounded by yes men and yes women, yes people,
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  right? They're surrounded by people who
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  think similar to them. So it's very difficult to kind
• 10:01
  of crack through to a narcissist or to a toxic person or whatever
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  the case may be. And that's what ends up
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  happening. There's so many people, y'all,
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  It really does and that's what you have to think about as well.
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  Y'all really, truly, you really have truly have to think about
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  this before you go to a narcissist friends or their
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  family members and try to tell them what happened to you or
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  tell them what you've experienced or tell them who
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  you've been dealing with or how you've been dealing with this
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  person. Think first because they might
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  just tell the narcissist and spoil your plans or they might
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  just take the side of the narcissistic person because
• 10:33
  again, at the end of the day, it benefits them.
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  They're like the people who are dealing with the narcissist, the
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  narcissist, true friends, their friend, like it's going to
• 10:41
  benefit them to have that narcissist or that toxic person
• 10:44
  in their life. That's just something to think
• 10:46
  about, y'all. Anyway, y'all, let me cut this
• 10:48
  thing short. I have a Zoom call I have to hop
• 10:49
  on right now. That's all in my son's room.
• 10:51
  I had to. I'm going to do that.
• 10:53
  I've recorded video and do my Zoom call.
• 10:55
  So let's get to y'all. My Zoom calls are still
• 10:58
  available at mentalillness.net. I just also released a video
• 11:02
  series called Finding Your Why with 40 videos about how to heal
• 11:06
  from narcissistic abuse. If you made it this, made it
• 11:09
  this far, enter the code WHY 50 to get a discount off off of
• 11:14
  y'all. Appreciate every single one of
• 11:16
  y'all and it's always y'all. But doing this is out.
• 11:18
  Peace. What up y'all?
• 11:20
  What up? Before you leave make sure to
• 11:22
  hit that subscribe button if you haven't.
• 11:23
  It just helps us reach more people.
• 11:25
  Also everything I have is available at mentalillness.net.
• 11:29
  My coaching, my courses. I have a couple of courses that
• 11:31
  can help you understand and help you heal and also have a support
• 11:34
  group all available at mentalillness.net.
• 11:37
  Check my site off everything y'all and I will see y'all
• 11:39
  later. Peace.