Latest / Untraditionally Lala / A Conversation about Cornell. This episode contains sensitive subject matter.

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A Conversation about Cornell. This episode contains sensitive subject matter. · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my loves. It is Lala Kent. I am here
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with Amber Childers and Sally Carson.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hello, babes.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Hello.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Two of my most favorite women in the world. We
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: decided to do this bonus episode because it's been an
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: important topic for a very long time. But because of
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: everything happening at Cornell with the Cornell 57 and Jane Doe,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: we just all felt very compelled to get on a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: mic and discuss our thoughts. And before we even jump
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: into it, I find it very important to state that.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Jane Doe is everywhere.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Right? Yeah.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Because this has made headlines. It's all over our algorithms.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: It is all consuming. It's very triggering. I don't want
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: people who have been through this. I have friends who
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: have been through it. Amber, I know you have friends. Sally,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you do as well.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: That, uh, yeah.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Jane Doe in this case is representing every single woman
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: who has been through a horrendous rape, sexual assault, and
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I just don't want it to get lost in us
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: focusing on this case and this case only. So we
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: asked you guys, I opened up the comments section because
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I know this has affected many people. I have a friend, Janet,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: who opened up about her experience last season on The Valley.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I was so proud of her.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: It opened up a lot of conversations that, you know,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: as a mother of two little girls, I just.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm in fear.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'm in a lot of fear.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And Amber, you have kids that are of this
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: age where they're like going out with their friends. Yeah.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, I've dealt with some stuff even in middle
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: school with my oldest one that was a big eye-opener
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: of how important it is. And we'll dive into it
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: of just teaching your kids what consent is, right? And
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: how important it is to be able to say no
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: and be okay with no.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: And no is a full sentence.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: And no is a full sentence.
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Sally and I have a podcast called Sex Unlocked, and
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: we have a heyday doing it. It is very sex positive.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: We talk about it all. It is very unfiltered. It
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: is so important.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: For Sally and I to state that when we do
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: that podcast, the biggest piece that I think is not
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: spoken about is the fact that there is consent involved
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: in every story that we talk about.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: And I think because we're doing this episode, it just
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: made sense to not really have it as a podcast
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: for untraditionally la-la and unlikely affair. It just needed to
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: be an episode of its own where the three of
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: us come together and have an important conversation. So I
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: just want to talk about the latest facts on the
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Cornell case. Jane Doe alleges that seven men drugged and
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: assaulted her for several hours in October 2024 at their
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Chi Phi fraternity house, and that was on campus. There
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: were no criminal charges that were ever filed against the men.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Those named in the lawsuit have denied all wrongdoing. Cornell
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: University is also named as a defendant in Doe's suit.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: The university has maintained that Cornell University police investigated the
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: case thoroughly and that the school held its own Title
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: IX investigation. A Title IX investigation is just basically an
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: investigation that takes place on campus. There's no outside investigation,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: which as far as, you know, today, which is what,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: October 7th, I saw on the news that Cornell is
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: still you know, opposing them bringing an outside investigation, which
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: to me screams, we are going to maintain trying to
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: cover this shit up, which does not fly with me
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: or a lot of people that I've seen on the internet.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: In the weeks that have followed the lawsuits filings, students
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: have protested the university's response to the case. I loved
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: seeing this this morning as well, that people, a part
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: of the faculty have joined in with all of their signs.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you fucking go get them. New York Governor
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Kathy Hochul appointed State Attorney General Letitia James to lead
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: criminal investigation into the rape case after sharp criticism of
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: its handling. The case also has renewed national conversations over
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: consent and sexual assault on college campuses. So some of
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: you guys wrote in, and I wish that I could
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: read every single comment because there were so many women
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: that wrote in, I am Jane Doe. Mm-hmm.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Do you want to read the comments, Amber?
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll read the comments.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: So some of the comments that we just grabbed from
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: you guys are, I posted about my support for her
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: and my own story of SA, and oh boy, the
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: comments are disgusting. Saying it louder for people in the back,
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: if you are deemed medically incapacitated, you cannot give consent.
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: And that's something, obviously, we just talked about. This case
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: fills me with so much rage, I could barely contain it.
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: I hate this world we live in. After Brock Turner
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: was left off easy, only serving three months of a
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: six-month conviction, it only opened the door and sent the
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: message that this was okay behavior, makes me sick. These
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: kids need to be expelled and need to be locked
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: up for a long time. God protect me from men
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: who defend rapists. I don't even want to breathe the
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: same air, let alone be friends with them. Why don't
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: women report these things? You're seeing why in real time.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: It's true.
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: And then thank you for addressing this. Those are just
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: some of the comments that you received.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: You know, it's just so true, though.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: It's so true. I mean, I am also Jane Doe.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I'm about to start crying because this fills me with
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: so much rage, too. And I didn't speak up for
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: eight years. I'm about to start crying. It's okay. It's
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: just really hard to talk about. Because, you know, and
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: I open up about it this season on Southern Charm. Like,
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I don't know if they're going to air it or not.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: But people don't understand, like, sometimes you get out of
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: a situation like that. And I felt like it was
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: my fault. And I had a boyfriend at the time.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: I had felt like I cheated on him. Like, and
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: it has taken eight years to finally be able to
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: tell my parents. I mean, I told them this year. Mm-hmm.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: And they were, you know, and now you can't do
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: anything about it because it's been so long. But it's just, it's, it's,
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: everyone's like, why didn't you speak up? It's so hard
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: to speak up because people might not believe you too.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: And you have to like face, you know, 50% of
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: people being behind you and 50% of people thinking you're
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: a liar. And it's just, it's hard. And I like
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: really feel for her.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, Sally, thank you for opening up about that.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm really sorry that you experienced that.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm like shaking.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: No, thank you, Sally.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: I think what I feel like enrages me when you
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: see the comments and they're women and they're cutting down
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: other women who have experienced this. And we already know
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: like as women in this world, we're a minority. We
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: always have been. We've always been fighting for our rights
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: and but to hear other women deny you of your
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: experience and make you feel like you're crazy, I mean,
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: that has to be the worst feeling in the world.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Well, that makes sense.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: Because we're supposed to support each other.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: We're not supposed to agree always with the choices that
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: we make and we're allowed to have our own opinions
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: and differences. But at the end of the day, when
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: it comes to this kind of stuff, Like, we have
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: to have each other's backs. And, like, having women in
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: the comments say some of these things, it's like, fuck you.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Like, we do not.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: Like, you're disgusting to me. Like, for a woman to
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: say something.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Those are the people that are making it hard for
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: others to speak their truth. You're exactly right. I mean,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: it's just, it's horrible what some people are saying. Well, and....
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: You know, I hate when I see a DM that says,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: we don't know the full story.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I don't need to.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I don't need to know their side.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: When I see that she was drunk or on drugs,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: she's in college. She should be able to go. And
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: not only is she at college, she's at a top
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: of the line school she should be able to go
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: blow off some fucking steam and have experiences and have
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: her community go jane is you know she's messed up
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: right now you know we need to baby her you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: know make sure she's okay that's not the okay to
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: take her into a room and do whatever the fuck
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: you want and let me tell you my kid comes
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: home and tells me about an experience like this Just
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: so you know, if your son is the one that
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: did it, I am Theon.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Greyjoy and KZ.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Ass.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: All right. Call me fucking Ramsey Bolton.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Your child now lives in my basement for me to
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: torture for the rest of his fucking life.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Period.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I don't care if my daughter walked in there fully
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: fucking naked, obliterated out of her mind, unless she gave
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: you The consent to say, yeah, I'll participate in her
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: right frame of mind.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I don't care what she's wearing. I don't care if
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: she's on drugs. I don't care if she's drunk. Keep
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: your fucking hands off of her. I'm shaking.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it. It's scary. It's scary.
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: I had this experience and trust me, it changed me
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: as a.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: Mom and as a woman.
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, it is our responsibility to, as parents
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: to teach our sons.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: What no means.
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: It is the first word that they should learn as,
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: as young men growing up in this country, like no
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: means no.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: And the fact that there was seven of them, I
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: can't even get over that.
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: There was seven and not one in the group chat.
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: Was there 57?
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: There was 57 guys in the group chat on Snapchat.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: That's why people are saying enough of the Cornell seven.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: It is Cornell 57 because there were 57 members of
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that fraternity in that group chat.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: And seven participated. But let me tell you something.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: You don't get to claim innocence if you saw that
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: shit and did nothing.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: And didn't speak up. That makes me sick.
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: Not one person on that text message thread or Snapchat
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: thread said, hey guys, what the fuck, this is not okay.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Not one. Not one. The shop still open makes
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: me seriously sick to my stomach. Like, I don't know
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: how someone could say that and not, I just don't
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: get it. I don't understand it. And like not speak up.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Especially like, 57 members, not one of you. Like, insane.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So Jane Doe's allegations in the complaint, she arrived at
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Chi Phi visibly intoxicated to see her friend Matthew Ingalls.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: She alleges they pressured her to take ketamine, supplied marijuana
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: and liquor, and forced oral and vaginal sex. She alleges
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: further non-consensual intercourse after Lopes entered. She alleges he sent
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: a Snapchat invitation advertising her availability for sex, repeatedly groped
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: her despite her pushing his hand away, and commanded her
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: to snort more ketamine. She alleges he grabbed her face
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: and kissed her without consent.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: She pushed him away.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: All seven, she alleges, they poured ketamine onto her body
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and snorted it. She alleges they moved her into another room,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: instructed her to take more ketamine, then forced oral and
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: vaginal sex while she.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Was completely incapacitated. She says she subsequently lost consciousness.
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: All I know is this, is we have a big
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: problem in this country with universities, fraternities, and the shit.
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: That happens on these campuses.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: We're living in a world where Our children are less
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: important than upholding the Ivy League representation and title of
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: a university.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: My child can be drugged and brutally gang raped.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: And the only thing that is going to matter is
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: that the school still looks clean and pretty.
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: I was just looking up the stats of what Once
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: you're released or your name's taken off a list, what
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: is the repeat offender, right? And it is so high
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: right now that it says one in 13 were arrested
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: for rape and sexual assault within nine years of leaving prison.
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: So it's just like letting these people out.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And they're just going to do the same thing.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: Not that we're talking about prison reform. I do believe
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: in that.
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: But it's like they're just going to go out and
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: do the same thing if they don't get the proper help.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: I get so eye for an eye. You're a sex offender.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: You lose your dick.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: You no longer have access. Here's your colostomy bag. Good
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: luck in the world. And then we never have to
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: worry about it. Don't ever be a repeat offender.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: And think about this.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: And if you used your hands, those are gone too,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: which you most likely did.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: So now you're handless and dickless.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: They do that in another country, right?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Well, we should start taking that on.
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Honestly, yeah.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: I have a child who's neurodivergent and has high-functioning autism.
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: Do you think that I want to send her off
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: to a university?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: No.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: She's already such a fragile, beautiful human being. And to
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: put someone like that in the face of these... Children,
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: because they are children, with no frontal cortex that's fully
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: developed in that kind of situation. Can you imagine going
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: to college and trying to navigate these situations with boys?
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: No.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Never. Never.
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: Never.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: It makes me, and I'm like, I'm trying to navigate
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: this with her right now saying like, honey, like maybe
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: we just do like a trade school because I have
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: so much fear for going out in the world without
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: the proper tools and to know what's like right from wrong.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: Like I can't even, and then you put drugs and
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: alcohol on top of all of that.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: It's like, it's not safe. It is not safe.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: And when I say no, I want you to know,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: like you know how much I love London. She's so
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: beautiful and bright and, and emotionally intelligent, but it, the
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: real world is intense and you want people to like
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: you and think you're cool and you want to be accepted.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: You want all of those things, no matter who you are.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: And then you add her.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Being on the spectrum and you just have to baby
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: her more than you have to baby your other child.
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: And by the way, even typical kids think of Going
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: from high school into college, you want to be accepted.
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: You want to be an adult, but you're scared shitless,
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: and you do things that you don't want to do.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: Can you imagine?
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: I know so many people who has 11th and 12th
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: grader females right now, and it's a tough time to
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: be a kid. And then you throw them into college.
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: It's like you're drowning. Just trying to survive. And then
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: imagine trying to take care of your kid when they're
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: on the other side of the country doing that.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: You can't just run, get in the car and you're
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: 20 minutes away from the college.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: You're like, you know, I.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. My kid calls me, I'm
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: on a fucking rocket ship.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And your son is now deemed unsafe as fuck.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Just so you know.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Because I ain't sitting around waiting for the justice system
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: to do its job.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: Even as women, as an adult, single mom that I am,
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: when I started going out, Before I got sober, I
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: was drinking and I realized I was putting myself in
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: positions with these men that I had met on Raya
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: or through friends.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: And I said to myself, like, Amber, you have children.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: You cannot be getting wasted.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: And that's one of the reasons that I got sober.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: I was scared. I made myself really nervous because I
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: would drink.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: To take the edge off of going on a date.
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: And next thing you know, one turned into two. And
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: then next thing you know, I'm.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: Like, wow, I.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: I couldn't say no right now or I couldn't get
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: this man off of me even if I tried.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: That's scary.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: So it doesn't matter what age you are.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's why I typically date in like a
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: friend group. I already know the guys, which gets me
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: in more trouble eventually. But it's so hard to trust
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: like a random man that you meet.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Especially going through what you've been through, Sally.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, and this man was like so put together and
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: had everything. My point is that he did that. So
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: you just never know. And you have to be safe
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: out there.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: You know, I have to give credit to the men
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: who I have been intimate with. This one specifically who
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: we've spoken about on the podcast, Sally.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: You know him.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: We've... been doing whatever it is we do for, you know,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: 12 plus years. And still to this day, when he
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: comes to the house, it's not just a given that
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: we're going to sleep together.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: He always asks. And I feel, I feel very lucky.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I have the luxury of saying that I have never
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: had a man touch me in a way that I
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: don't want them to. I've never had a man pressure
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: me to do something that I didn't want to do.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: And in this day and age, it is a luxury
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: because no matter where you're standing, you are within feet
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: of someone who is Jane Doe.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: And that is a really, really hard pill to swallow.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: And I posted this thing that was going everywhere and
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: it said, protect our daughters. And it was crossed out
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: and it said, educate your sons. And so many people were.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Like, do both. You need to do both. And it's like, bitch,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I'm doing my part.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: OK, I need people with sons to really teach them.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: And when I look at the comments section with these
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: women being like she was intoxicated, we don't know what
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: she was wearing. Bitch, shut the fuck up. You're the problem.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: You're the problem.
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: And how as a woman could you sit there and
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: need all the facts and not know the whole story
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: and we'll make a judgment when we do you're a
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: woman by the way and you can't put yourself in
• 20:02
  Speaker 6: her position what.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: The fuck is wrong with you yeah.
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: When I hear people say things like that I want
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: to say to them, okay, just imagine this was your child.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: How would your reaction change?
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: But that's what's so wild to me that people can't
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: take one moment to say, what if this were me?
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: What if this was my daughter? What if this was
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: my friend?
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: I just can't imagine living in that world.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: There's not one time that I have seen something like
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: this on the news where I've gone, got.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: To get all the facts first. No, just I believe you, period.
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: I would love to know more about why Matthew and
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: Jonathan were expelled specifically versus all the other guys.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Do you mind reading through what happened to each of
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: the seven?
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: Yep, Matthew expelled, Jonathan expelled, Winston, two years suspension, several
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: semesters of disciplinary probation upon return, no contact order with
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: Jane Doe, required sexual harassment education.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: So weird.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: And reflection papers.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, reflection papers.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I'd love to read that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Let's reflect.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I'd love to read that.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: We both just like totally sat up in our chairs.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Let me shift. Let me fucking shift.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: Gileo, is that how?
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: Three semester suspension. Three semester.
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: Okay. Two year probation. No contact order with Jane Doe.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: Requires sexual harassment education and reflection papers. Diego had already
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: graduated barred from campus for three years. Scott, no contact
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: order with Jane Doe required educational modules of sexual harassment,
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: social media use of bystander intervention plus reflection papers. Scott,
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: no contact order with Jane Doe required educational modules of
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: sexual harassment, social media use and bystander intervention plus reflection papers.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: That's insane. Here's your, here's your punishment. Write a paper
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: on it.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I loved that. Um, Someone wrote, hey, Cornell, it's S-A, S-A,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: not S-A. I thought you guys were in Ivy League school.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: There were so many badass, like, threads that were coming
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: through on my page. Like one girl that was like,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I hope you're educating your son not to sexual assault
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: because I'll be teaching my daughter how to kill.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: By the way, yes. Those are the kind of responses
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: I want to see.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: That A plus.
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: My daughter, if she decides to go to school, either
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: London or Riley, they'll be carrying around bear spray.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: How about that?
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Your son is now blind.
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Just as women, and during this time of reflection, what
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: have you found is most important for you to do
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: as a woman, a mom, for your friends?
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Um, Amber, do you want to go?
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think.
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: Having a daughter to obviously two daughters, but especially with
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: my middle school, like I'm really, I set her down
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: at the end of my bed and I, I just said, Riley,
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: you know, that I, we were talking about drugs. We're
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: talking about boys. When we go to, we're in bar
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: mitzvah and bar mitzvah season. So when the boys want
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: to take you or the girls want to take you
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: and try to get you to do something or take
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: a pill or do something sexually or everyone wants to
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: play a game, like how important it.
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: Is to say no.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: And if you lose friends along the way, that is okay.
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: You are going to lose friends no matter what, even
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: when you're not being pressured to do things. So I
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: think for me, having daughters, it's no means no.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: And you have to speak up. And I will always, always.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: always protect you, always.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: Sally? I think it's just important for everyone, like especially women,
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: to stand behind each other and to believe each other
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: and to not judge each other and to be like
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: welcoming arms for someone that has gone through that. Because
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: I know, I mean, I didn't even, I didn't even
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: tell my best girlfriends because I was so ashamed. And
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I think it's important to just know that we're behind
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: you if you have been through this. And I think
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: more women need to be that way and to just
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: believe the woman because it's a hard thing to go
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: through and it's a hard thing to talk about. Yeah.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think that that was perfectly said, Sally.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I second everything that you just said. I
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: second everything... that you just.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Said I am very proud to call you both my
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: friends um oh my god you're gonna make me cry
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I'm very proud to be able to come in here
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: and and do podcasts that are impactful and meaningful I
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: really love you both a lot and you know we're
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: really all we have so I'm just um really sad
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: about everything that's happening if you are Jane Doe I
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: hope you know that we back you 100 percent um
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm crying like.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: This because it matters that's why um it's just everywhere
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: it's like all around us and you just don't even
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: know sometimes.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: No I know you're right we believe you And we
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: are really grateful that you listened to this episode of
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Untraditionally Lala, An Unlikely Affair, Sex Unlocked.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: We love you a lot and we'll catch you guys
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: next week.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Thanks, guys.