Latest / The Kelly Jedele Show / The Identity Shift: When Your Old Life Doesn't Fit Anymore
Transcript
- Kelly Jedele: Not everyone signed up for the new you. You know, some people loved you at the size that was convenient for them. So stop narrating your growth as an apology. Kelly intro: Hey, I'm Kelly Yataly, and this is the Kelly Yataly Show. Here's the lie we've been sold that you have to pick: the career or the kid, the big vision or the bedtime story. I'm calling it. That's not the deal. You can have both. I have built businesses for the last 16 years as a single mom. And you can do it without hustling yourself into the ground, but by choosing strategically every single day. This show is for the woman who wants the business, the brand, the freedom, and the family. All of it. So grab your coffee, your kids' juice box, whatever you got in your hand. Let's get into it. Kelly Jedele: Have you ever come home from an event or a trip or a big win and realized that the life that you walk back into doesn't quite fit the same person that walked in? I just spent three weeks in Canada and I didn't come home the same. And honestly, some things in my life are cracking because of that. And today we're talking about why that's not a problem and that's actually the point. When you level up, things change. Thank you so much for coming and listening to the Kelly Yately Show. Today we're talking about leveling up. Let's get into it. If you want the full recap of the two conferences that I went to when I was in Canada, I wasn't on vacation, I was there for conferences. I did two bonus podcasts last week and this week. Go back and listen to those. There's a whole recap of both of them: Dan's conference and Renee's conference. Both of them different and awesome in their own way. Fantastic. They were back to back and fantastic. The theme I couldn't unhear from both of them was alignment and the new. You. So speaker after speaker with different words and different phrases, but the same message. You have to become the person your next level requires. And Dan talked about this in his AI conference, and I remember it most from when he spoke on Renee's stage at the Pink Skirt Project. He talked about our fears and that we can't be afraid of our greatness. And when we step into our greatness and we go pro like what he talks about, we're actually having to make changes in our life and change the actual standards of what we do when we level up. And not only do we change those standards, we let go of that old version of us and we have to put action the old actions behind us. And we have to let that person go. Like that is where we're at when we move into these new levels and new standards. We've got to lean in and really decide what's important to us and what really matters when when we're choosing these new levels in our life. So the growth content that we always hear sells the before and after, but they don't really ever talk about the messy middle, no longer who you are, but not yet who you've becoming. Like it's it's kind of this middle ground of places where it's kind of lonely. It's you're you're letting go of certain relationships, you're starting new ones, but they're not really grounded. And you're just trying to figure out where you belong in this place. And if your old life feels a little tight right now, like a jacket that doesn't quite zip up anymore, you're not broken. You're mid-shift. You're mid-shift into your next new level. you gotta let that old self you go and bring yourself into that new one. I've had moments in my life that have I have leveled up and I I've thought back of different times where my life has completely changed from one day to the next and that One of those very moments was when I started my cleaning business. I was in medical sales before. I had a very nice fancy job where I got dressed up for work every day, talking to nurses and doctors and office managers and hospitals and clinics and whatever. And then I went to cleaning houses. So a lot of people had to adjust to this new me. And I was all in. I did not look Back, I had my daughter to take care of, and at the time we had another teenage friend living with us. And I was ready to start something new. I was ready for that new me. And what that did was really change my day-to-day. Like how I talked about myself, how I talked about my clients, what my goals looked like, what my actual life looked like, like what I did on the weekends and what I did in the evenings. All of that changed when I was in that. season when I was starting my cleaning business. And I remember just being around people that were supported. I supportive, I had a lot of supportive friends, and then I had some friends that just really didn't understand. And my brain wants to remember the supportive ones, but if I pause and take a beat, I do remember the naysayers. And one of those was my mom. And I don't like saying that. And she's now since passed. But when I first started my company, she was very, very worried about me. I didn't have healthcare for us. I I didn't have any four one K plan. I didn't have a steady income. There was no guarantee that I was gonna get paid. And she was constantly reminding me that this could go bad. Like this could go really, really bad. And I stopped talking about my business to her slowly. Because I realized every time I told her something that was hard or scary to me, it just really set her on a on a trajectory of really questioning me. And I didn't want that because I was all in. I was all in. So that was a big un big learning experience for me. I did, I did keep her in my life. I love that woman. I just chose not to talk to her about that. So we talked about so many other things. I had so many other things to talk to her about. So we kept our relationship away from that topic and I moved on. And she eventually around year four came around. It took her a long time. but you don't owe anyone the old version of you. You don't own you you the first the person that they met before. You don't owe them staying that person just because that's who they met first. You can grow and evolve and change. And if they don't like that, then that's a them problem. It is not your issue. It's sad because we don't want to lose people in our life, friends, and I mean, my case, my mom, but I didn't lose her. So it we we me figured it out. But I mean I I've some friendships that, yeah, they do. Some friendships renegotiate and get stronger, and some quietly fall away. And both are okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone signed up for the new you. You know, some people loved you at the size that was convenient for them. So start stop narrating your growth as an apology. So swap your stories when you say, I'm sorry, I've been so busy, and you know, like, because we get lost in everything that we're doing. And and change it to, you know, this really matters to me, and this is where I'm spending my time right now. There's no need to apologize for all of the energy that you're putting into this new version of yourself. It's the same facts, it's just a little different posture when you're talking. Update your environment. Like do something different with your environment on purpose, like what I did. I went to Canada to go to these conferences. I paid a lot of money. But I had that money in my savings to use. And I spent time with people that are out there growing themselves and growing their business. New people, new things, new content. Find new people to follow. If the content that you are consuming right now is not leveling you up, unfollow. Unfollow those people. You want people that are pouring into you and allowing you to grow into that new version of you. Unfollow. It's okay. You don't have to keep scrolling by all of their content. It's okay. And then Also, read new things. Like if you're reading a book, read new things. Read new magazines, read new articles, read new any blogs, substacks, things like that, things that will grow your mind in the level of where you want to go. And also let the old ident identity retire with honor. There's nothing wrong about where you were. You don't have to trash that person, the old you or what you did wrong. That's that's not that's not gonna be helpful for you. Let that person be Be proud of that person. You needed her to get to where you are now. And we're gonna level up again. So we just need to be proud of who we are in the moment and who we were, and that we learned and that we evolved and we grew into this new person. That's what we need to be proud of. The old you built the foundation of the new you. And that's the new you that gets to stand on top and really grow. Thank her and then move on. Thank her. And move on. So if your life feels like it doesn't fit right now, that's good. It means you're growing. When you level up, things change. One small challenge for this week for you. Name one place you've been apologizing for your growth with a friend group. with par parents, with your children, and this week and stop. Just stop apologizing. Don't worry about not being the old version of you. Allow the new version to come without apologizing. And then also if coaching is something that's open for you, I am starting a coaching program August 4th. And I would love that to be the next step that takes you to the level of where you're at. If you're interested in learning more about my coaching, you can go to my link tree and there's a sign-up for more information as it comes out. And that will be coming out shortly. And I am getting everything ready for us to work together to get you to the next level. And that is me. Helping you all the time. I love that. I have daily lives on Instagram. So if you see me on live, please jump in. I won't call on you unless you comment or click on the button to ask a question or ask a question. But join me and be a part of that. So as we level up and as things change and things break and relationships go in different ways, remember that what you want for your vision and your life is what you're What truly matters. We only get this one life. Thank you so much for listening. I love you. Love yourself. And let's keep going. We'll see you next week on the podcast. Bye. Kelly: That's it for this week. If something in this episode hit, do me a favor. Send it to one woman in your life who needs to hear it. That's how this community grows, one honest conversation at a time. Follow the show, leave a review, and come find me on Instagram. I read everything. Remember, strong doesn't mean solo. I'll see you next week.