Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 190. Pluto, Shadow Work & Free Will

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190. Pluto, Shadow Work & Free Will · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the emotional mastery podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I am your host, rochelle.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a holistic human design health coach and this is a space for human design and spiritual journey.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's not about being a master of your emotions, rather mastering the tools to self-winculate, to awakening yourself and remembering who you are.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Human design changed my life about five years ago and I've been learning and teaching the system ever since.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This podcast is human design meets spirituality, meets astrology.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You don't have to have a belief system to be here, just an open mind and curiosity.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: This is a journey of meeting yourself and awakening to your infinite potential.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Now let the magic begin.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the emotional mastery podcast.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: This week I'm going to talk about shadow work because it's something I've been really diving into over the last.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm always cycling through shadow work.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Let's be honest.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I'll get into more specifics of in my chart why that is, but it's felt very different recently and I think it's probably mostly my perspective on it and the way I'm approaching it.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: But I wanted to come this morning and really have that conversation here because, again, it's something that I've been moving through more deeply, powerfully, intentionally and feeling more empowered in doing it recently because I feel like so often I take things so seriously.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It can be really challenging for me a lot of times to zoom out, to have that higher perspective, but I've been getting so much better at it lately and if you're watching on YouTube, I am just having my morning coffee, the podcast will have my swallows edited out, but apologies for those on YouTube.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I've just been really thinking about it lately and moving through it and I'm reading a book called Hades Moon.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: It is by Judy Hall and I have always been very aware in my chart where I one of the first things I learned or somebody told me was like my moon is square Pluto, and I was like, okay, cool, sounds intense.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Don't really understand what that is.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: But of course, like through the years that I've learned astrology, I've always been aware of it but I've never necessarily just focused on that aspect alone and I feel like that's sort of what I'm doing lately is I'm really really digging into that aspect.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Uranus has been calling me too, and Uranus for me is opposite Venus, which makes so much sense.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: But squares and oppositions in astrology are more challenging aspects.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Squares are 90 degrees, so it'll usually be between, like fixed signs or mutable signs, airs, cardinal signs.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: So for me, my moon is in Leo Leo's a fixed sign and my Pluto is in Scorpio, which is another fixed sign.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I was listening to one podcast and they were talking about, or I was reading on Instagram I don't know, this is my passive mind.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I have all this information and I'm like where did I get it from?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I do remember it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But a lot of karma, a lot of challenges in a karmic, just a lot of karma comes through fixed signs, which makes sense because you're very fixed in your ways, which makes it very hard to be adaptable and to change a little bit.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And my big three so my sun, moon and rising are all fixed signs.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I have my sun and torus and my moon and rising both in Leo, so it's all fixed.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I have so much fixed energy, so much fixed energy and I have so much fire and earth.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Those are like my top aspects of my chart, but getting off track.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: But so I've always cycled through really, really, really, really intense emotions.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: There have been times in my life where I'm like, should I be medicated?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it's so challenging when I'm in it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: And, of course, understanding and learning human design and astrology has supported me so much in the way that I navigate that and the way that I move through it, just knowing that I'm emotionally defined in human design.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: So I have to run through the wave of my emotions, which makes sense because when I'm impulsive it rarely ever works out, especially when I impulsively buy things.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I'll buy something that I had to have in the moment and then it comes to my house and I can never touch it or I feel guilt or shame.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: And I'm really releasing those energies lately because I feel like my spiritual journey, my faith, has got me to the point of surrender and acceptance of what is.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: And why am I going to feel guilt or shame for something that I did do?
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: But there's no point, I can't do anything about it now it's done.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe I could return the item, but especially actions or things like that and I'm not saying that we shouldn't feel maybe remorseful or regret or whatever, but I think the solution to that is, rather than feeling those things, to take accountability and choose something different the next time.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And those are big lessons because, like I said, money to me, I've always felt a lot of guilt and shame around and I'm just sort of letting it go.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: It is what it is.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Money isn't the thing that makes us happy.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I think money gets us freedom, money allows us to feel abundant and call in all those feelings, but at the end of the day it's the feeling that we want over the money, it's the feeling of like.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: For me, when I think about it, it's like, oh, traveling to Bali or traveling the world, that feeling of seeing the world, the beauty of the world, of experiencing the world and meeting new people in different cultures and learning, that is what I'm chasing.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: It's not the money, but all that was about guilt and shame.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: But so I don't really hold that guilt and shame anymore, and that definitely came from external sources rather than from inside.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: There were somewhere people along the line that told me it was wrong to spend money or wrong to do this or wrong to do that, and it's such a complex about being unable to save and just spending and whatever.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: But I have learned to sort of let that guilt and shame piece go a little bit and just surrounding to what is.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: When I follow my emotional authority, I'm not as impulsive.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: So then I don't feel bad because I didn't just impulse buy something.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: My Amazon cart is ridiculous.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I have so much, I have over a thousand items in there and it's all stuff that I would have impulsively bought.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: But I'm like you know what, I'm just going to put it in my cart and if I still feel the need to buy it in a few days or in like a week or whatever it's there, I'll remember it and I can go get it.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Like there was a Oracle deck that I wanted to get.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I saw it and immediately I felt called to it.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: But I was like you know what, I'm just going to put it in my cart, I'm going to let it sit there, I'm not going to touch it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So I think this was like a week ago maybe.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And today I was like I wanted to pull a card and that one popped in my head again and I was like, oh yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: So then I went and got it right.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It wasn't expensive or anything like that, and that's besides the point.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: But it was just the process of following.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: My emotional authority has given me so much more clarity.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I guess has just helped me understand.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: So in human design I'm emotionally defined.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I have a channel 1222.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: This is an individual channel.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: It's the only social individual channel in the entire chart.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: It's all about passion, romance.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: You need to be in the mood to be social, which has definitely been a marker of my life.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I remember in high school or college like I would go out when I really didn't want to go out and the amount of people that would be like are you okay?
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Like what's wrong, and I'm like you know what, I'm fine, I didn't really want to be here but I'm fine.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Or like in college, I would sit at the bar and I would just observe people.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Sixth line I'm a six three but I would observe people and that was fine for me, right?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: The six three is kind of a weird profile.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: It's like am I social, am I not?
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It's just this whole weird thing.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: And learning I think with age too, we learn to just like accept who we are and what we're like.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm not a two four, like.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I am not the.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I can be.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I'm more so in my small group of friends.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I can be very much the center of attention.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I can be like the life of the party, like whatever.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Those are spaces where I trust and I can show up as my funny Like.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I think I'm funny, my kids think I'm funny, my close friends think I'm funny, but like some people it's probably surprising to like find me funny.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe it's just me, but if I don't find myself funny, who's going to find funny?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I have, like people that I've met.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: My kids are like, oh my gosh, they are so funny.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, I know they got it from me.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: But but I think, like some people only experience the observer very serious side of me and so they don't get to see like the goofy, silly part of me.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: And with the Pluto aspect to my moon, I think so often things can be so serious and I really feel like I've let that go more so lately because if you are a third line of any kind, like six, three, one, three, three, five, three, six, you're gonna have like humor is just sort of.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: You have to have humor right.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: We have to find things funny because if we don't it would be so unbelievably serious, like it would be depressing.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: So we have to like laugh at ourselves, we have to laugh at life, we have to like just be light about certain things, because the rest of the work is so heavy and so hard and third lines are all about trial and error and it's failure and it's melancholy and it can be depressive and all of these things right, there is like some very I don't know what word I'm looking for is, but it can be heavy because we're just constantly falling down and we're having to pick ourselves up and we have to just laugh that we fell down and brush it off and try again, because if we didn't we wouldn't try again.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: And that's the whole process of the third line is to trial and error, to experience things, to learn things, to help people.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And especially if you have that sixth line the six three right, or the three six then you're gonna go teach people, you're gonna be that role model so you can model what works and what doesn't through your own lived experience, right.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: But so back to my chart.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I am so six three is my profile.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I'm emotional and again that 12, 22 is my defined channel.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: That makes me a manifesting generator.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: So that's from the solar plexus to the throat.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: So I'm literally here to articulate and communicate and express the emotions that are coming through me.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: My unconscious son is in gate 30, which is the most feeling.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: It's the gate of feelings, the clinging fire.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: So it's a, that's a query.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: So my unconscious body son is in a query is in gate 30.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Very intense.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: And your unconscious side you can't really control.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: It's like what's on autopilot.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Maybe others will see it about you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: You won't necessarily see it about yourself, because it just happened.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: So it's like witnessing this happening.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: So my unconscious or my conscious mind perceives me as one way and then my body responds in a different way.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: And the whole purpose of the unconscious side is your body, how to nourish your body, how to operate according to your body.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: And that's why strategy and authority is so important, because when you can operate according to your strategy and authority, everything sort of falls into place.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: In holistic human design academy we go through, obviously, human design, astrology, but we really touch on the body, because I think it's such an important piece, because we are here to experience life through these vessels, through this physical body.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: We chose to come here in this body to experience pleasure, pain, everything, and so I think it's so important to connect with that and understand the messages that it's telling you.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: And I am revamping the shadow part of it, the shadow module, because I've just been.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I like what this episode is about going through shadows in a really different way.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: But to get back to human design, in my chart, so 6-3, emotional manifesting generator, 12-22, unconscious sign and gate 30, and then cognition is sort of like your superpower, like the little spidey sense right, and there's different types of cognition minus feeling.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So when I first learned human design I resonated really strongly with being an emotional authority, like it made sense.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I always rode the wave of my emotion.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: My life was marked by my emotions.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I've always been up and down.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: My family, who is all unemotional, has always kind of had that thing of like oh, what moves were shelling off to get the grouch left with the head on the ground, whatever.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: So I kind of like held the shame around just being emotional.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I thought I was wrong because I was like nobody else is as emotional as I am.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Like am I just a weirdo?
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Which I am, but that's okay.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: But the emotional piece to it, but feeling cognition, is where you can literally tap into the energy around you and I always think about this with my ex, as soon as the garage door had opened and I was like within the vicinity of, like his aura, I could just feel it.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: And so I resonated, sort of I resonated with being emotionally defined and also I resonated with being an undefined solar plexus, like I avoided confrontation and also I have my self-noted in Libra, so people pleasing, all that stuff comes from there.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I avoided confrontation.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I, people pleased, I just did whatever so that your emotions like for you to remain neutral, which really was a selfish act.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Right, cause it's like I was manipulating the situation so that I would feel good, cause if you felt good then I would feel good.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: But then I didn't really feel good because I wasn't really being myself and that always came out in the end.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And then, when you look at astrology, my moon is in Leo in the first house, in Holstein, in the 12th house, in Placidus but I've been really playing with Holstein lately that's a conversation for another day but my moon is in Leo in the first house, and the first house is the physical vessel.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Right Is the mask you wear for people.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: It's your physical body.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: It's like when you took that first breath in life, you know it filled your body up and that's all what the first house is.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: It's yourself and it's so.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: My moon is in Leo in the first house, square Pluto in Scorpio in the fourth house, and the fourth house is your private life.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: It's your ancestors, it's your family, it's your home life.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: So it's all those things wrapped up in Scorpio.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Of course, pluto rules Scorpio.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Scorpio is the deep, the dark, the occult.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: It's nipulive, it's secretive, it's passionate, it's intense, it's sex, right, the Torah Scorpio access is all about sex and so so much of my chart.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: It's it's.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: And this is where, like, I just love falling down the rabbit holes.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: But my moon is in Leo in the first house.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: The Leo is ruled by the sun, which makes the sun my chart ruler.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: The chart ruler for me is Torah.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Sorry, the sun is in Taurus in my 10th house, and then you know you can follow the rabbit hole like Taurus.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Venus rules Taurus, venus is Gemini, but then my son's opposite, scorpio.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So it's a whole thing.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: But so I again, I've been diving into this moon square, pluto, so it's called the Hades moon.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: When you have an aspect to Pluto in your moon, the moon is the archetype of the mother, so it's typically the parental figure or the guardian, or whatever influenced you was or whatever influence was the most present in your childhood.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: So, whether that be your mom, your dad, a guardian, an aunt, a tea, like, whatever, typically is what the moon represents.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: But the moon in itself is the archetype of the mother, right, it's the womb it is, it's just all the.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: It's this mother archetype, whereas Pluto is a little bit.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Pluto is Hades, it's the underworld, right, and the book that I'm reading, the Hades Moon, it goes through all the mythology, which I love.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: It's so fascinating.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I get lost a little bit because I'm like there's so many names that I can't pronounce, like I don't know who's who and who married who's sibling and had a who's child and slept with their child and made another child.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: It's just the mythology is crazy, but it is really interesting.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: And so the whole Pluto, persephone, demeter, you know, kronos, saturn, eight, all of his children, and it was just like interesting, fascinating stories, like if you have not read the mythology around it, it is really, really interesting.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: So Pluto basically kidnapped and raped Persephone, who is Demeter's daughter.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Demeter is basically Mother, gaia, mama, earth, right, she rules the earth.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Pluto is the underworld.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: So Pluto then took Persephone and then made her his like wife, and there's just the book presents so many different versions.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: So we think of Pluto, we think of Hades, you know, as like this dark entity, but yet there's the softness towards Persephone and gives it the pomegranate, she goes back up but she has to come back down.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: It's a.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: It's really is a beautiful, interesting, dark, deep story.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: And I think, having this Pluto moon, this Hades moon like I'm always sort of drawn to the taboo, I'm drawn to all that stuff.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Plus I have Jupiter and Pisces in my eighth house and the eighth house is naturally ruled by Scorpio and Pluto.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: So then that really further increases or enhances the plutonium energy in my chart.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: But understanding that dynamic, that again, pluto represents power and control and the moon represents the mother.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: So typically when you have this, there is some sort of power dynamics.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: There's different archetypes of the energy that can be had here, and I'm just going to read some from the book that talks about the different archetypes.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Let me get to the front here.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: But you have so the mythic moon, so the devouring moon, so this is like we're thinking about the mother, right, the devouring the mother, the mother that suffocates her child so much that just like devours it.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: It's sort of like the Oedipus complex that you know they talk about, like specifically mothers and sons.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: It's like that devouring, like nobody else can have you, and it's, it's this very again it's it is a power in like controlling energy.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: And then you have the rejecting moon.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So this is like the mother that just like rejects her children.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: It talks a lot about adoption and it's really interesting dynamic.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: It's really really fascinating book.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I'll link in the show notes if you do have a Hades moon, a Pluto aspect to your moon, and you want to like dive into it.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I have not yet finished the book but I'm almost through.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: So then you have the rejecting moon, right, this is the rejection, abandonment, alienation.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Again it talks about Hades moon and adoption and again that genetic sexual attraction, which is basically the Oedipus complex with mother or son, you know whatever that is.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And then there's the raging moon.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: So this is like the anger part of it, because Mars also rules Scorpio, so there is a piece to that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And Mars is like I love the definition or the explanation.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So you have the sun, right.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And then you have Mercury, which is like the closest the sun, it moves with fast, and earth, the moon.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Then there's Venus and Mars.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So Mars is in sort of immature expression, but it is an expression of all of the everything else.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: So it is an expression of Mercury, venus, the moon.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: So it's everything that comes bubbles up, and then Mars is sort of like the way we express out into the world, and so so, yeah, the raging moon is just another archetype of this moon.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot of anger that's stored in there Because, again, it is Pluto, it is the underworld, that is Hades.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: But one thing that it talked about to you which was really fascinating, is that when you think about Hades, pluto and I'm writing a blog on this too, so I'll hopefully coincide it with the release of this episode but Pluto, hades, the underworld, lucifer, whatever terminology or archetype you want to attach to the underworld, to hell, whatever you want to call it was cast out from the light.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: So it all began in the light, right, and so it's sort of this energy of like I do believe like love.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Love is the answer, right, love can lift us up, but we do.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: The brighter your light, the darker the dark, right, we have to go through that, and when you have squares, especially a square like Pluto, moon, there is going to be a lot of darkness that you encounter.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Squares, again, are more internal struggles, where oppositions are the other challenging aspect.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Oppositions sort of come to you from outside.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: So in this example with my Pluto moon.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: So my moon is square.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Pluto, this is very internal, emotional struggles, suffering, I mean darkness, challenges there's so much internally that just is so, so challenging.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: And then in my chart I have Venus opposite Uranus.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So Venus is love, values, relationships, beauty, all these things.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Uranus is truth, it's the wakener, it's unpredictability, though it can shake things up, and so a lot of those challenges come from outside of me, they come from my relationships.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: So Uranus, for me, is also in the fifth house.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: So this is dating.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: These are like my biggest mirrors, right?
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: But because I think I have such intense aspect to my moon, I allow it to become so big, and so it's just like this huge lesson.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: And I think what I've discovered shadow work isn't something that there are more archetypes in here, but I haven't, I haven't gotten to them.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: So I was like, do I want to talk about them?
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: But so then you have the karmic moon, right, because I think Pluto, this energy, is very deep and very karmic.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: So when you have a moon, a Pluto in aspect to your moon, there is, especially if it's in the fourth house, I mean, the fourth house is your ancestors.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: So not only do I have this aspect, but this is really deep karmic work for me.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: This is something that is not just from this lifetime, this is something that's been repeated over and over and over and I think I'm here with the awareness, this lifetime, to move through that right.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And then you have the cathartic moon, the sacred moon, and then the first word I can't pronounce, I'm not even going to try.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: But anyway, the book, I'll link it below so you can go check it out.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: But I've come to understand that I think when we first come into this work on if you're on your spiritual journey, or I think when you first come into awareness that the issues and situations and people that come into your life are a reflection or you have to take some sort of responsibility for yourself, once you begin that, then I think the shadow work becomes.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times it's something that we avoid.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: We don't really want to face it, because that means we have to take responsibility for ourselves, which is challenging, like when I look at my relationship.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like there's this theme and of course I can explain it away with astrology and with human design.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Like my, I have a wide split, which is 59 six, so intimacy and anyone with a wide split, you tend to project and be the victim and blame.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: So, of course, for me, it's just like you're not giving me intimacy, you're not giving me the thing that I want, and, of course, with that, venus, your honest opposition, it's the same thing.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Right, relationships are here to teach me something massive in my life, but it's so easy to be in the victim.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: And the thing with human design and astrology is that, yes, these are I'm air quoting written in the stars, right, but we have willpower, and that is huge for humans.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Right, we get to choose.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Just because your chart says something doesn't mean you're doomed to play it out.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: It's not a death sentence, right, it's not anything.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: It's just an awareness, it's a piece of who you are.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So your birth chart is I'm reading a book, edgar Cayce, and I've heard this before and I've always really resonated with this, but he's talking about it too how the birth chart?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I think Rudolf Steiner talks about it.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: But what you see, the birth chart, the planets it's not so much where they were in the sky that's impacting you, it's that your soul specifically went through those planets, in those places, to come into this Like when we took our first breath right, that first house energy from the womb out into the world.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: We took our first breath.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Our soul has entered our body, but it's come through like Jupiter and Pisces.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: It's come through Venus and Gemini.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: These things are literally pieces of your soul.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: You are holding inside of you fragments and pieces and energy from those planets and in those placements, and so it creates the personality, it creates parts of you.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: And so, just like with human design, when you look at your human design chart, everything in white is where you're taking it and amplifying because it's not yours, right.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: You're experiencing that from others and you're a mirror for others.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Anywhere that you're defined, that is inherently you, right.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: And so, when we can understand to let go of the conditioning, we all have choice, we all have free will.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: There are all the birth chart, the natal chart, the human design chart is possibilities.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I've met people who have an undefined ego and operate completely different than people who also have an undefined ego, that had massive conditioning and have no self-worth.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: But it's the way that you choose, the way that you were raised, the way that you're now choosing right, that creates what you see, but it's sort of.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: The framework is there, but there's always options within it.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: So, just because you have a Hades moon, just because you have really challenging aspects and I think anybody that has challenging aspects is just here to do the work right that's related to what it is.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of karmic stuff coming up and there's a lot of work to be done and you are facing that in this life.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: But again, I have come to understand that the shadows that you know, the shadow work.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Like I said in the beginning, it's really, really daunting, it's really overwhelming.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: It's like we're constantly in a trigger and it's not to seek out triggers, it's just to deal with them as they come to you.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: But it's also we're never going to like let go of our shadows.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: It's not about suppressing them or rejecting them or whatever right.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: It's integrating them and accepting them, which can be hard, because sometimes we have big shadows.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have really big shadows and we don't want to face them.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: We don't want to admit that that is part of who we are.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: But when we do admit that that's part of who we are, you don't have to admit it externally, but just internally, being like oh yeah, I like this or I'm attracted to that or I, you know, like whatever it is then it lessens a little bit right.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: And so, as I'm like navigating more of this shadow work and understanding Pluto and that Pluto moon and what it means in my chart and how it's impacting my emotions and how my emotions impact everything else, like how can I operate in a way that allows me to I'm not going to say neutral, because I'm, like I said, I'm a pretty deep person.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I've also accepted the way that my emotions are and I can witness them now in a little bit different of a way where, like, let's take relationships, because that is just a huge one for me.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like VNS opposite Uranus and then just my human design chart, like everything.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Relationships have always been a huge thing.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: I've always been a huge people pleaser, but what it came down to is I did not value myself and so now I value myself so much like I will give someone leniency, because this is a thing I see the best in people.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I have an undefined G center and so I think that there's just a part of it right and I also have come to learn that this beautiful part of me, I see the best in people, I see potential I can feel like so strongly.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: My psychic skill is just like feeling.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I think it's claircognizance, right, it's feeling, I feel it.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: And so when people do things like, I feel the intention behind it.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: And a lot of times I think, when people self-sabotage or manipulate or whatever obviously under not for everybody, but for a large, a good amount of people the intention is to protect themselves.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: The intention is pure.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: The intention is, you know, if somebody does care, like there is a good intention behind bad actions, right?
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Some people don't know how to express, some people don't know how to communicate, some people don't know how to be vulnerable, and that's just part of human life.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: And I think I've just come to the point where I'm just like it's what's the point?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Right, and I'm not saying that I'm best at all of those things, but also like what's the point of hiding it?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: What's the point?
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I love the way that I love and I've taken me it's taken me a long time to appreciate that about myself, because for the longest time I don't I won't say that I have feelings for everybody, like we're just talking romantically, but when I do, I go all in and but I'm also like I also love that I have the opportunity to do that and I've.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I used to hide and I used to not be vulnerable and I used to just wait for the other person to show up and I would like follow their lead or whatever.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm starting to like show up differently in that way, cause it's just like what's the point?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: You don't know, and if we're not expressing ourselves, if we're not communicating, like we're just missing an experience in this life.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: And yes, I believe we have multiple lives, but this one is so short and this is the one that we're in right now.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: But I lost my train of thought, which usually happens, but yeah, so I don't know, just like shadow work and witnessing it and having acceptance and awareness of it and my Pluto moon oh, where was I going with that?
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I felt like I had a, I had a point.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I totally lost it.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Relationships I started talking about relationships and how I now navigate them because, oh, valuing myself.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: So I feel like, yeah, so I feel like now I value myself, where there is still sometimes a part of me where it's like are my expectations too high or whatever, but I do believe, like to me, like I don't know, I feel like and it could be wrong, but I feel like my expectations are not that high.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Like show me that you care about me, let me know that you're thinking about me during the day.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Like don't go days without communicating.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: If we're like dating or seeing each other Like I do believe, of course life happens.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Life happens If you can't respond to a text for a few hours, life happens, I get it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: But like days, I just think if you value somebody in the way that you should, if you're trying to date them, then it's not that big a deal.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Right To listen to someone or make them feel seen or wanted or whatever it is.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: It should come pretty easily.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know If I am interested in you.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about you a lot, so why wouldn't I just pick up my phone and send it, send like a little text hey, thinking about you.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be more than that, right?
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: But again, with all of this like intense, intense energy that I have in my chart, it used to be so overwhelming and now I feel like I, with that that piece of like me, value myself.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's hard to like navigate those feelings, especially when you feel intensely for somebody, but it's not worth my mental health.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be sitting here like obsessing which I don't obsess anymore, but this was just the first word that came to mind but like obsessing over when you're texting me back or if I'm going to hear about you today, or like trying to court, like I don't even have any Virgo energy in my chart.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's my Mars and Capricorn in my sixth house which makes so much sense.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Daily routines, but like, sometimes I get like fixated on like okay, well, they call me the last two or three nights at like certain amount of time, or like whatever time, like I guess, like that the routine of like when I'm going to hear from you, but just like letting it go and letting somebody show you how they feel about you, because there's like I read something before and somebody's even said it.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: It's like men.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: What is the analogy?
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Men, it's visual, right.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: What they see is what they like or whatever.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: And the women, it's more what we hear.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: And I think there's a point where men can just like bullshit, because I think that that's what you wanna hear and I think with age we come to believe, and not even necessarily with age, I think some people don't like, don't lean into that.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Some women were identifying the feminine right, but the feminine is all about receiving and being open to, and so I think there's a whole conversation that needs to be had just on the feminine masculine which will be coming out.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: I did have a conversation with somebody on the podcast about the feminine and the masculine, which is so important, and but it's like we're here to be open and to receive and the masculine does.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: The masculine energy is more action.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: They want to do, they want to provide, and so it's like in allowing that, and I think what happens is this dynamic between the masculine and the feminine can get a little bit muddled.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: You know everybody has both within them, but when you're trying to lean into the feminine, it's just a different energy of like being open and receiving and I think, just like allowing that and having value for yourself and trusting more what people show you than what they say, because a man can say the same thing, and I'm just saying man.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying that because that's what I personally date and I'm interested in.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: But whatever it is, whatever you are interested in, whatever you're pursuing, they can so easily say something over and over and over and over, but without actions behind it, it's all bullshit, it's all words, like it doesn't matter.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: So I will trust your words, you know, two times.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: And if you're not following up with actions, then I call bullshit Like I'm just not here for it anymore.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: And I used to make excuses because, like I said before, like I could feel people's intentions sometimes and I think a lot of times in the moment, like we're probably like, yeah sure, I really want to do that.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm in your energy and I feel like I want to see you again or I feel this way and I want to do this.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: But the words mean nothing if you're not following it up with actions.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: And again, like I used to excuse it so much, be like oh well next time, oh well next time.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: And I think too, because I not and this is another huge lesson in life right, just because of the way you perceive something, not everybody perceives the way that you perceive.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Not everybody is going to operate the way that you operate.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Not everybody is going to see the world in the way that you see the world.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: There are different people, different energy, different expectations, different experiences, different everything.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: We cannot assume people are going to interact and show up the way that we do.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: So, first of all, having compassion and understanding that we're all so different and the way that you intend something isn't the way that somebody else intends something.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And just because somebody doesn't work the same way that you do it doesn't mean they don't care.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: But, again, paying attention to the actions and what's happening and what they're showing you.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: That's what's important and that's what's key and that's a big lesson that I've learned Because, like I said, I used to be such a huge people pleaser I had no self-worth.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Like I'm watching love is blind.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: It's so funny, I don't even know why I got into this show.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: But anyway, I'm watching love is blind and I just I feel like I see so much the trauma and the patterns and the victim and the blaming, and it's like when people argue on there and I'm like, oh my gosh, sweet, like you are so.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Like there's so much insecurity and there's so much low self-worth.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Like I was watching one couple I don't remember their name and I was watching them fight.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: And of course I'm not judging, because I've been in awful relationships before where people treated me like shit and so I think that was sort of what was triggered.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: But I was watching this and I was like, wow, this guy is not kind Like this, really like this being your first fight and this person saying and treating you like this on your first fight, like it is not gonna get better.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: But she was so, had such low self-worth and you could see that in that interaction, in that fight, cause she was like I'm gonna do anything I can to get him back, like I just need to have them, and it was very much like she got something and she was used to being alone and she was like dog paddling and scrambling to keep it.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: And there's nothing wrong with that right Like our experiences and where we are in our life, and that comes with age and that comes with time and that comes with experiences.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: But it's just really interesting to watch a show like that and to see and I think the reason why I was so triggered by it is cause that was me.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I was like that.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I was that person at one point where I wanted to make it work, because you saw me, you were with me, you wanted me and that's all that matters Like I've been single for nearly seven years now, which is like pardon me is completely over it, but also it's an experience, it's where I'm at and it's what I'm learning, and I think it's a really important, really important phase of my life.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: And so, anyway, all of that to talk about shadow work, and I just feel like I've been witnessing it differently.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: Because I'm witnessing my shadows, I'm not trying to change them, rather accepting them as they come up.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, like huh, that's part of me and I think, being able to cycle through my emotional authority, and really it's not about silencing the mind, but it's about not taking the minds seriously.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: So when I'm feeling emotionally low, when I'm in that like Hades moon wave of my emotions, the mind plays up and just sort of sitting it over here, I'm like, okay, what am I actually feeling though?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Right, because our mind will attach stories to the emotions that we're feeling, and it doesn't mean that the story is true.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Right, identifying the story in that pattern and where it's coming from, but then also just moving through the emotion and coming back to a neutral space so that we can make decisions from there, and that's been really powerful.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: So, as I've been navigating shadows like pretty heavily lately, I don't feel like it's been as intense as it would have been in the past, because the stories I'm creating are not overtaking the situation.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I'm able to, like journal, and I'm able to meditate, and I'm moving my body again, and I think cause I stopped going to the gym.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I got sick back in January and I wasn't able to go to the gym for like weeks cause I literally, like, was having a hard time like breathing properly to work out, and so I felt myself moving through a lot of shadows then, because I normally move my body a lot, and so now that I'm getting back into the gym, my energy has been raised.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I know I talked about it like a week or two ago, like I was so tired I could not make it through the day without taking nap, although I did take a nap yesterday, just a real quick one on the couch at like 6.30.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: But other than that, for like the last week, my energy has pretty much been back to normal.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: So movement is huge.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It's so so, so, so important.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: So just like having all these practices in place that are gonna support you as you move through it and journaling around it, or like having awareness of, when it comes up, what is, what are you making it mean about you and just I know it's hard.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: I don't wanna say don't take it seriously, because it's really hard not to, but If you can lighten it in some way, that is also helpful.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Take the seriousness through a meditation or through a DI or through your journaling.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: But then zoom out a little bit.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: And I watched the movie Space man with Adam Sandler.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: I highly highly recommend that.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I cried through like the second half of the movie, but it was just like this really beautiful rhyme.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Some movies are like that right, it was just this very beautiful reminder of what's important in life.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes when we have something that's important, we take it for granted until we don't have it anymore, and I don't know.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: It's just like be the light, be the love, right, embody that and, yeah, show it for yourself, believe what others are telling you and if you have any aspect from Pluto to your moon, sit with it, dive into it, because it's going to always be intense.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: And I think when you just accept that like when I accept that my emotions are crazy intense sometimes, I accept that I hit really low, low sometimes I accept that it's always going to come back, it's always cyclical I accept that there's going to be some sort of power struggle dynamic.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I accept that this.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: You know, my moon, my motions are on my sleeve.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I accept all that stuff now.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: It took me a long time but I feel like I finally do, and so that's sort of what I've been navigating.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like there's so much more to be said, but I'm also still sort of in it, and so the words don't often come into like I'm sort of moving out of it, but I'm continuing to do the shadow work, I'm continuing to show up for myself and continuing to hold my worth and my value, and I think that's been a really, really big one for me, because that's something that was really hard to get to within myself.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that's my episode.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I hope it made sense.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I know I jumped around quite a bit in there, but Holistic Community Design Academy launches this month on the 20th, so that is next week, I believe.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: The link for that is down the show notes.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: It is nine modules.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: It's about three months Give or take.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: I know there's we're going to put in a little, a few extra breaks.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: So one thing the last round said that they wanted a little bit more time to integrate within the process, so we'll probably have a little bit longer of a break and then more Q&As just within that break so we can really integrate and get clarity.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: But it is really such a beautiful program and I think that where I'm at currently and the things I'm moving through currently, this round is going to be a little bit.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: It's just going to be potent because I feel like I'm in such a different space than what I originally created this program.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to be going in there and revamping a few things.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I'm adding to the shadow work module, so it's going to be good.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: That information is down the show notes you can go join us.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: And then the collective.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: So this is a sacred soul community space membership where we connect as entrepreneurs in our business and we just really peel back the layers.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: There are 10 plus calls a month because there are six expert guides and I'm so excited.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: So our launch call is March 25th.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: This is also the full moon and eclipse, so of course it would fall on that day and it wasn't even intentional, it just happened.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: But it makes so much sense.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: So that information is down below as well.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: We hope to see you in there.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I'm really really, really excited for that.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: So you'll have monthly calls from me and all the other guides as well within that space.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: So the information for that is down below.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: One on one sessions, of course, are always open.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: Everything you need to know is in the show notes, so go down there, check it out.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: You can follow me on Instagram at Rachellechristian.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E, c-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-e, tiktok is the same.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Youtube is at Emotional Mastery podcast and website is for Rachellechristiancom.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I've recently I'm sort of in the process of redoing it, so I'm I not everything might be there.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: I like reset it and then I was trying to get everything back in place, but anyway, so, but that is what I've said Basically.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: All the information you need is also there as well.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, you can click down below.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: It does help the podcast rate, review, subscribe, all of the things.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: Spotify is just that five stars, you can just click it.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: It's so easy.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Whatever rating you believe, and I love to hear from you.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: So if you want to reach out to me on Instagram emails down below, whatever ways, I just I'd love to hear from you.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I love to know what you want more of, what you enjoy, all the things.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: So let me know and I will speak to you next week.