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What Men Say vs. What They Mean · Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix

0:06
Welcome to Secrets from a Billionaire's Matchmaker with
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matchmaker Gina Hendricks. Hey there, I'm Gina Hendricks,
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matchmaker extraordinaire at your service here to talk you
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into just seeing the world through my matchmaking eyes.
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How about that, right? I've been doing this a very long
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time. And my goal with this is to
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educate you on seeing things as you've never seen them before
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because a matchmaking perspective is like no other.
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You know, relationship experts have their own lane and, you
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know, dating experts have their own lane.
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And matchmaking is where you've got to be Switzerland and you've
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got to be neutral. And you see things from both
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sides. So.
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So today I want to talk about, we can call it when to hold
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them, when to fold them and when to kick him to the curb.
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And I already know you have a great question for me.
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So let's do this. How do you know when you're in
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love or love or you love a person that I had?
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But I would, I, you know, I think that the term like love
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can be overrated and misused because, you know, a lot of
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women it that's what keeps them in bad relationships.
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But I love him, you know, he treats me like shit and he's a
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this and that. And but I love him.
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You know, love really doesn't matter if you're not happy.
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So I think, I think let's take the focus off of love and focus
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on does this person make you happy?
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And then I think if somebody makes your life easier, better,
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happier, you feel fulfilled, you feel secure.
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I think love comes out. Love should come out of that.
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Good morning. My question is what are like
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your first date for a woman kind of chest checklist or like non
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negotiables, right? Like a woman must show up on a
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first date having done or doing these things.
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That's such a great question. Boy, that's such a gosh, that's
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a great question. Write that down somewhere.
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I should do a TikTok about that, I think.
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I think first of all, you know, safety is key.
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So you want to get yourself to the location.
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You don't want to let him pick you up.
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You also want to tell your friends and family where you're
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going. You want to look your best.
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Even if you're exhausted by dating.
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Things always happen when we look our worst, right?
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Like you run into that X or you get that opportunity.
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You're like, oh, why didn't I fix myself up today?
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So I, you know, even if you're exhausted by dating, even if you
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just think, oh God, I don't know if I'm going to like this guy.
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Fix yourself up, you know, bring your A game in every way.
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Be positive, be upbeat. And then I would say also look
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at it as an opportunity. Not as much.
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This could sound weird, not as much to like find love, right,
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but to experience interacting with someone new, learning about
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someone new, learning about yourself, sharing conversations
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and, and, and expanding your world in a sense, you know,
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because I think if we put it all on that person, like, you know,
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oh, I want this person to be the love of my life.
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I think we build it up so much that it's next to impossible for
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anybody to live up to that. So I wouldn't set such a huge
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expectation. I like to stay optimistically
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cautious as I like to say, but I think, you know, look at every
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interaction when you go on dates, not as a make or break.
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And so, you know, you get disappointed, but so that you
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know, you went out, you had a good time, you know, hopefully
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you shared a few laughs. You learned how to how to look
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at somebody else's perspective. I think this is part of growth
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and we all need to continue to grow.
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OK, now you had a question that concern me a little bit, OK,
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because for me, my primary concern with all my ladies, I
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don't worry so much about men. So I I am concerned about
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something you brought brought up.
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So let's talk about it. OK, That says don't agree to get
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in his car after the date to talk more.
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I've had some men wanting to do that.
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Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that either.
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I think you just say, oh, you know what?
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Because if, because if it went well and and you liked him and
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you don't want to like and you're afraid to turn him, You
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know, I don't want to hurt his feelings.
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So. But just say no.
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You know what? I had a really nice time but I
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have AI have a rule for myself and you can do it in a flirty
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way. You know I never get in a man's
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car the first time I meet him and you know if he doesn't
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understand that then he is definitely not the guy for you.
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Here's one on how to get a man to commit and coordinate a date.
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Had a gentleman who was interested in coming down to fly
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down from the the state to meet me in person.
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He hasn't committed to a date. How do I move him to do that?
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So are you talking to him on a regular?
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Is he reaching out and communicating with you on a
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regular basis? He he has been, his grandkids
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were in town so he's been focusing on that and I've had
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major work issues. So we haven't talked in the last
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few days, but he still hasn't committed to a day.
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He keeps saying, oh I really want to, I really want to, but
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how do I? Coax honestly, well, I don't
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think it's coaxing him. I think it's really just
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asserting your boundaries and drawing your line in the sand,
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which means I would wait until he reached out again.
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And then when he does, you've not got to layer the lower the
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boom and say, hey, you know, I'm, I'm excited to finally meet
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you. Let me know, you know, reach
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back out to me again when you have a plan for us to meet.
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And basically you're saying, you know, F off if you don't have a
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plan to come meet me. Do you know what I'm saying?
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That's. Kind of what I was thinking, but
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I wasn't sure. Yes, OK.
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Yes, and and you've done FaceTime and Zooms with him.
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Yes. OK, good.
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So you've at least done that, Thank God.
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But yeah, now, now it's time to just sort of lay the because
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otherwise, you know, this could drag out forever.
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So and, and mentally, I wouldn't mind you disconnecting a little
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bit. So when you see, say, when you
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send him that message and you draw your line in the sand, I
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also want you to sort of disconnect mentally a little
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bit. That way you can start focusing
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on others, you know, until he steps up.
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OK, so here is a question that you've really got to be able to
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answer for yourself. I think that is a very
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philosophical question. I don't know that there's a
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there's one answer. OK, lady.
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So now we're going to get into something where a lot of people
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just aren't willing to be honest with you.
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It's not easy to tell somebody the hard truth, but in this
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scenario, it had to happen. I went out with this guy a few
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weeks ago. Remember for the guy who like.
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Yes, I know exactly. Who he was, yes.
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And then he forgot our first phone call.
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And then we got he's. All over the place, right?
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He's all over the place and he good looking guy.
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He just he just got on Bumble so I'm sure he's getting a million
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hits and he even told me he goes, oh, I'm not desperate,
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don't worry. And I'm like, OK, but anyway,
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that was like the perfect example, but he was my 4th.
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The 4th time that I've had a date with somebody where we had
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a great phone call, had great text communications, had a great
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date that lasted for all of them, have lasted over 3 1/2
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hours. So it's like obviously we
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clicked with this guy in particular.
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We had a ton in common. We were there for over 5 hours
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we but when it was time to leave, he even kept me at the
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valet stand waiting for our cars.
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We talked for another hour and a half, so.
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Did he pay for your valet and wait for you to?
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Get your card. Yes, he did.
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Which was really, Yeah, a total gentleman.
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And I've told this before that there's, this is like the fourth
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time now where everything seems great.
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The guy would give me a nice little kiss goodnight, say he
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would love to see me again. I say that I would love to.
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Something's happening between the time that they, oh, and also
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all of them text to make sure I got home OK.
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One, one of them had walked me home.
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The other three, you know, texted me to make sure I got
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home OK from my drive. And then just nothing after
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that. So this guy, this last guy, I
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texted him in the morning and I said a little thank you, you
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know, for a wonderful evening. And he sent me this long text
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like, oh, you're one of the best dates I've ever had.
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You're so easy to talk to. You're intelligent while all
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these wonderful things. And then he's like, well,
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unfortunately I didn't feel a spark.
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I was trying to feel something when I kissed you tonight, but I
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just didn't. And that was it.
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So like, I texted the back and I said, yeah, you know, sometimes
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sparks when they jump too fast, they also fizzle out.
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But I feel like when there's a foundation, then you have
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something to grow on and it gets really, it's exciting to build
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it up. And he's like, yeah, well, I'm
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just trying to find something that sparks right away because I
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don't want to have to keep on checking in with my feelings to
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see if I'm starting to. And so I just delete, you know,
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I deleted it, obviously. But I'm just wondering what
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anybody's thoughts are on that. Because you can tell when you
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don't, if there's no magic, but also when you really click on so
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many other levels, are these men like, really, do they really
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want to feel fireworks? We're all, he's 65.
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We're in our mid 50s. Like, are we supposed to feel
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like giddy teenagers? Really.
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I'm going to be really honest with you about men, right?
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All they mean is they're not attracted to you enough.
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They're not talking about fireworks.
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They're not talking about sparks.
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Men don't care. Men don't in my world.
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And again, I'm talking about the thousands of men.
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Not only that I've worked with those clients because I haven't
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worked with thousands, but but men tell me everything, any man,
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everywhere I go. But it's attraction, that's what
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they mean. He's just not attracted to you
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enough. And that and for men, they are
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either in or out. It is very black or white.
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They're never like going to ever become more attracted to you.
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Whereas women, we're different in that way where you can be
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more open minded, we can become more attracted to somebody, not
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men. They are either attracted to you
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or they're not. So that's why he was like they,
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but they, you know, they're not going to say that, right?
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Because that's harder to say like, Hey, I wasn't attracted to
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you now. So, but but that is what it is
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now. Why have you gone out with these
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guys and they weren't attracted to you enough?
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I don't, I don't know why because you know, I'm not there,
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but that is what it is. Let's switch gears to something
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I feel very, very strongly about.
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And this is the perfect example why when you ask friends or
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honestly even a therapist or even other coaches, why they
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don't they can't give you a real perspective.
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So she she told him this scenario and it was horrible.
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She went on a date and she got to the restaurant and the guy
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came in and she said he didn't look like his pictures.
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She said he looked much older than his pictures.
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OK. And then she said that he just
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kind of sat there for a couple minutes and didn't say much and
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said, oh, I got to go to the bathroom.
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And then basically he left. He never came back to the table.
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Now that's horrible, hideous, horrible.
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OK, so now what? We can all agree on that.
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Collectively, whether we were there or know anything about the
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scenario, we can all agree that guy's an asshole, right?
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I think anybody that can't just sit through a lunch or a dinner,
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even if somebody shows up and they don't look like themselves,
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they, they need to learn how to be an adult and just roll with
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it, right? So there's that.
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However, she was trying to get Rory's advice on why he did it
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and what went wrong and, and you know, well, listen, so we're
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trying to give his best advice, but he doesn't know what I know.
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So he was trying to tell her, Oh, the guy probably felt like
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he wasn't at your level. Whatever.
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Well, I mean, still needs to do her work on her profile.
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She never did that. So she's using old photos
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herself. She's not using accurate photos.
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And and so the the perspective here that mirror was missing in
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order to give her the accurate advice is actually seeing and
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knowing Sue, seeing the men I've seen, the men she chooses,
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right. So, so in order for anybody, I
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want you guys to keep this in mind when you're asking for
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advice from friends or even a therapist.
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I think of all the times, you know, when I went to therapists
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and and I'm not saying I should replace the therapist, do not
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think that. But you also have to take their
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advice with a grain of salt because they're their, their
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advice is based on very limited information.
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And it's the limited information that's from your own
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perspective, which might not even be accurate.
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You know, I mean, I can, I can think of times where I was
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telling my therapist things and but she doesn't know the full
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story of what he did. So I'm just saying keep that in
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mind when you try to get advice from other people.
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Just know that they're, they're, they're trying to help, but
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either friends, a lot of times aren't willing to be honest with
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you. They're afraid to hurt your
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feelings or truthfully, they just have limited information
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that you've given them. Even when some of the ladies,
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you ladies try to tell me, oh, Gina, he said this.
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Oh, Gina, he said this. I'm like, you can't tell me
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second hand. I want to see the conversation.
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Let me see what you said that led up to it and all these
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little details. Really somebody in order to give
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you accurate advice, they have to have a 360 perspective.
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They can't just have a, you know, A1A1 sided perspective.
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Now I'm going to take a question that was written to me here in
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the chat. Please explain what we should
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expect from for men on Hinge versus Bumble.
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So on Hinge, they need to be making an actual comment on your
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photo or something on your profile.
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You know, no low level likes, no roses, none of that jazz.
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Because again, that is just the lowest level effort they could
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possibly do. And I've said in many videos
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that I feel like you ladies deserve a man who can at least
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string at minimum 3 words together for you.
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You know what I mean? Because I know these guys and I
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know that it's just very low level.
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They're going around to every lady just low level liking.
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So yes, we want them to be able to come up with some something
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to actually say to you. And while you're beautiful
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again, it's just really kind of low level.
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But I mean, it's certainly better I guess than a thumbs up.
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But we want real effort is what we're looking for.
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So this might be a controversial opinion, but I'm going to go
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forward with it and we're let's talk about it, you know,
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yesterday, for example. And again, I don't this doesn't
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have anything to do kind of really with what Congress media
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talks about in terms of the age. But I mean, the age thing is
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like one of those huge pink elephants in the room that never
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goes away that we can debate till till the end, end of time.
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I also have another controversial opinion on
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something that I may not share here today because it's so
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controversial. Well, especially probably more
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so with I don't yeah, you guys wouldn't like it.
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I probably won't even get into it.
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But anyway, so yesterday, and I know you're dying to know now,
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but yes, I know, I know, I know. OK, OK, I'll just share it.
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I'll just share it, please. And, and again, you'll disagree
15:24
with me, but it's, it's you'll disagree with me probably for
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sure. And, and again, I don't push
15:31
this agenda on anybody. It's just something I've noticed
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behind the scenes for matchmaking is the whole never
15:37
been married thing, right? So, you know, everybody wants to
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judge people. You know, there's I'll get, I'll
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just give you a perfect example. There's this woman that's been
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in my database for quite a while and she's fantastic.
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She looks so exceptionally young for her age.
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She's so gorgeous. She's amazing in every single
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way. OK.
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And I mean, does she have other issues I don't know about?
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Who knows? Because there's issues that come
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up when people are dating that I, that I don't know about at my
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level, right? Like nuances, quirks, whatever.
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But I've known her for years and I love her.
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I think she's just wonderful. But The thing is, she's never
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been married. And I know for a fact a lot of
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my guys that I presented, I presented her to them over the
16:18
years and they're like never been married.
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OK. And but yet here's the thing.
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I had a neighbor when I was in Venice.
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She was married, divorced, her husband was in prison for turn
16:32
out it was a pedophile. Okay, but yet men would still
16:36
say yes to her because she was able to say she's married to
16:39
somebody, even if it's somebody who's been in prison versus a
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woman who's never been married gets overlooked.
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So I have gone round and round with this woman, the the woman
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who's single and I've said you need and you're going to hate
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you guys are not going to hate this.
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You know where I'm going with this, where she needs to say
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that she was married very briefly in her 20s.
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It was no big deal. It didn't last.
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Even if she was married for a week, do you know that in
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somebody's mind that would totally change how they saw her,
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even if it even if she had been married for a week, you know,
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And so I don't know. So it's a controversial opinion
17:14
because here's the thing, will that ever impact that man?
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Her, whether she was married or not will never impact him, but
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it does impact how people see her.
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And it sucks for her because I watched the years go by, go by,
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go by. And I know for a fact, because I
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know men, I know how people think that what's happening is
17:35
they're going out with her and they're already in their minds
17:38
prejudging her, like I'm going to figure out what's wrong with
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her. And so they're more alert.
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They're on high alert and looking for things that if they
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were going out with the woman who was divorced, they may not
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never even think I'm on high alert and looking for things.
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She said. I mean, so she's already showing
17:55
up, being being scrutinized in a way that somebody who's been
17:59
married hasn't. And so, yes, she isn't afraid of
18:03
a commitment, but that could be true.
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It couldn't be true because here's the thing, she could have
18:07
again, been married to somebody in in her 20s and she has lived
18:11
with people. She's lived with people, but
18:13
there's people who just decide, yeah, I don't want to, this
18:16
isn't right for me or whatever. So they could commit, but don't
18:19
want to commit to the wrong. It's it's, listen, this is so
18:21
dicey. And when it comes to human
18:23
behavior and the fine line between how honest should we be
18:27
and not, It's it's such a fine line.
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I've never been married. I spent my life raising my son
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and helping raise my nephews and nieces.
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Should I change mine? I think, I don't know.
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I think having a child actually probably puts you in the club.
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If we're looking at in the club or out of the club, let's phrase
18:45
it like that. I think you're having a child,
18:47
even though you've never been married.
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I think you're still in the club, meaning that you're in the
18:52
thumbs up club. You're, you're in the social,
18:55
you, you get the approval of people club, you know.
18:57
Gina, thank you for saying that. I've always suspected.
19:01
That I was being my. Saddest, Yeah.
19:05
Judged and looked at through that light.
19:06
And. But the only light I've ever
19:09
heard people talk about is like, oh, not about me, but about
19:13
people who've been divorced is like, oh, they have baggage,
19:16
right. And so I don't want to say I was
19:18
like, blissfully living as if I didn't, you know, really think
19:21
that. But I think there was some part
19:22
of me that knew that somebody is looking, by the way.
19:24
And frankly, I judge men that way, too, I think.
19:26
Oh. You know.
19:28
Until George Clooney got married, right, I would call
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them a George Clooney. Right, except that George
19:32
Clooney was married when he was young to tell you he did that.
19:35
People forget about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:38
But anyway, so. But yes, but I know what you're
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saying. I the point is still valid.
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Yes, yes, yes. Or David Spade.
19:44
I don't believe, but I think that we, I, I just, if I've, if
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being a matchmaker's taught me anything, it's that the majority
19:52
of people go through the world just trying to really label
19:56
people too quickly, trying to judge people too quickly.
19:59
And I feel like, and this goes back to the age, people fudging
20:02
their age or things like that. And I think that the, I've just
20:06
learned there's not one reason why anybody does anything.
20:09
People have layers. People have, you know, and I
20:12
think the more empathetic and and open minded we can be to to.
20:18
To going on a fight, fact finding mission for ourselves to
20:22
to let people show us who they are, not who we think they are
20:26
based on them, but but show us are OK, maybe you are committal
20:31
or maybe you are. Maybe you do have committal
20:33
issues or maybe you don't. But I think I, you know, I
20:37
always say, and I don't do this on purpose, OK, but I just do, I
20:40
give people enough room to basically hang themselves if
20:44
they're going to right. But I, but what I, when, what I
20:48
mean by that is, is I just, I give people the room to show me
20:52
who they are and, and either they end up shooting themselves
20:55
in the foot or they don't. But I never, I just don't
21:00
prejudge people. I just don't, I mean, I might
21:02
have some ideas, but I still go, I'll still let them show me who
21:05
they are. And I think more of us need to
21:07
do that because I think the majority of people really,
21:10
really try to judge. Now, here's something that I
21:15
want to just continue to remind you guys about because it's so,
21:19
so important. And I say this all the time.
21:22
Exceptional people are few and far between.
21:25
The people who are willing to do the work and put in the effort
21:28
to have a better life, to have better things, to to just be
21:33
better in every way. Those people are few and far
21:35
between. And that's in the real world.
21:37
And it's on the dating app. So I want you guys to adjust
21:42
your expectations to know that you're not going to be seeing
21:44
all these phenomenal men everywhere.
21:46
You're really not. But what we're trying to do is
21:49
level you up in a way so that you're where the low level men
21:53
go. Oh, I can't touch that with a 10
21:55
foot pole. Awesome.
21:57
And then when you do spot that one in a million guy and you're
22:01
going to be the you're the one in a million woman, you know
22:04
it's going to be easier to connect with one another.
22:06
But don't expect the most phenomenal men everywhere.
22:09
Know that yes, we have to sift through all the average low end
22:14
people, but we're just we keep our eye on the prize.
22:18
Don't don't get so sucked into looking at all the things you
22:22
don't want. Let's just put our blinders on
22:25
and focus on only saying, hey, even if it ends up being one guy
22:29
in a week, that's like right on the bull's eye and you guys have
22:31
connected. That is a win.
22:32
That is more than what's happening in your day-to-day
22:35
real world for sure. Now here's a step you should
22:39
never, never, never skip when it comes to pre qualifying men.
22:44
I've asked for a couple phone calls now.
22:46
And I learned during those phone calls that these men were still
22:50
married. They were separated, but not
22:52
married, not not fully divorced. And they hadn't even moved out
22:55
of their houses yet. And they they just told on
22:59
themselves. I didn't, I wasn't, you know,
23:00
interrogating them. I was like, oh, so how long have
23:03
you been divorced? How old are your kids?
23:05
And he said, well, actually, And so you sometimes you can learn
23:09
some. And if you're looking for like
23:10
something more serious, sometimes you can learn
23:13
sometimes, sometimes that that saved me, you know, two hours of
23:16
my life. So just that that might be a
23:20
good something that might encourage you to not be worried
23:24
about the phone calls because I, I hate talking on the phone too.
23:26
So, but I learned a lot. So just maybe that'll be an
23:29
encouragement going forward. I love that.
23:31
Thanks for adding that. And the other thing is you can
23:34
say, you know, how long have you been?
23:36
I always say legally divorced because a lot of times you say
23:40
divorced and in these guys minds, because it's been going
23:42
on for years and they've signed a lot of the paperwork, but not
23:45
the final final. They'll say, oh, I've been
23:47
divorced for years. But if you say legally divorced,
23:49
then they understand exactly what you're talking about.
23:52
You know what I mean? So that's another way to do it
23:54
too. And I love that you brought that
23:56
up. Thank you.
23:56
OK, my question was what should you do if you're not good at
23:59
talking on the phone? I think that you use this time
24:03
as practice, right? Because you're here to do things
24:06
differently. And I'll say, well, here's what
24:08
here's my advice on, you know, I think some important questions
24:12
that you need to probably ask him on the phone.
24:13
You know what I mean? You know, a phone call should
24:15
just doesn't have to be a heavy long phone call.
24:18
It could just be hearing each other's voice, you know, just
24:22
finding out, double checking like so, you know, so how long
24:26
have you been been dating or how long have you been divorced or
24:29
to, to confirm what's their intention with dating?
24:32
What are they really looking for?
24:35
OK, let's talk about all these other dating apps that are out
24:38
there. My question to you is, I know
24:40
that we frequently discuss Bumble and Hinge, however I have
24:45
discovered a couple of other sites that are very particular
24:52
to some of my beliefs. Let's say.
24:56
How do you feel about us utilizing some of those sites?
25:00
Which I mean well. The functionality is different.
25:04
I mean, I'm never gonna I'm I, I do believe in going down all
25:08
roads. I think, though, if you're
25:10
somebody who already feels overwhelmed, I might not
25:12
recommend it. But I do believe in going down
25:16
every roads to test what I think though, at the end of the day,
25:19
it's sort of like going to kind of a, a big event and versus a
25:25
small event. I mean, small events are great
25:27
if it is the right type of people, but a lot of times,
25:31
especially if it's a newer app and stuff, you're not going to
25:34
have as many options, which means good and bad.
25:38
Do you know what I mean? Like I've talked about this
25:40
before. I think of my life, it is that,
25:42
you know, there's when I see new apps, I usually try and there's
25:45
one called better in person, which seems interesting.
25:48
It's all kind of more video based, which again, I like that.
25:52
But oh, because it's brand new, that's just all gross, really
25:57
gross men. And, and that's the mistake.
25:59
I think a lot of new apps and stuff make is, is they don't
26:02
have the people on it yet to keep women, especially women, to
26:06
keep women's interest. So I say I, I wouldn't stop you
26:10
from trying it. And then let's see.
26:13
But I don't know. I would love to know.
26:15
I've not yet in all this stuff I'm doing.
26:18
I've not heard of any a woman coming back to me with a better
26:22
solution that actually gets her across the finish line other
26:26
than either Bumble or Hinge, simply because it's got the most
26:29
options. OK so here's another question
26:33
and let's talk about this. I would like to know how to tell
26:37
when a recently divorced man is ready for a committed
26:39
relationship. Had three dates with a man fully
26:42
divorced last October. He also relocated at that time,
26:47
so lots of changes in his life, but tells me he definitely wants
26:50
a relationship. I've said I will date him, but
26:54
don't want to rush anything. He actually has many qualities I
26:56
like. I think you know what I would be
26:58
asking these guys. First of all, I did a video
27:01
recently about people who are in transition in their life.
27:03
If they're recently out of a divorce or if they're
27:06
relocating, they may want a relationship, but it but we
27:10
don't know what time frame they're talking about, right?
27:13
So I, I would, I personally as a matchmaker, I know how to ask
27:17
people very specific questions. And so if you if you ask a
27:20
question and somebody comes back with a vague response, ask the
27:24
question again, say, oh, I'm not sure I understand.
27:27
Can you be more specific? And I think as women, we get so
27:30
afraid to like, really try to drill down to get the answers we
27:33
need. And what happens is we end up
27:35
walking away, not really getting the answers to our question.
27:38
So in his case, you know, I would, I would have been asking
27:41
him and you still can like, I'm just curious, how much have you
27:44
dated? You know, like how long were
27:46
they, how long were they separated?
27:48
If they were separated, number of years.
27:50
And so he's been in relationship and he's dated, you know, these
27:53
are the kind of things you want to find out because if he hasn't
27:57
really dated, that could potentially be an issue.
28:00
He may want to date. And then if he wants to get into
28:02
a relationship, I would say, well, I hear you.
28:07
Are you looking to get into a relationship sooner or more like
28:11
at some point in the future? You know, just ask.
28:14
And these are perfectly relevant questions to be asking because
28:19
you're meeting on a dating site and most people on dating sites,
28:23
most of them are looking for actual relationships, especially
28:27
women. And so these questions, nobody
28:29
should be upset about the questions.
28:31
Nobody should be afraid to ask the questions.
28:34
People should not be confused about why somebody, you know
28:37
what I mean? These are relevant questions.
28:39
So I would just always ask to get the actual answers you guys
28:42
need. So you had a question, this is
28:46
kind of interesting scenario about a coffee date and you know
28:49
typically how I feel about coffee dates.
28:52
I met someone in real life. He's a neighbor.
28:56
We had an amazing coffee date. The conversation flowed easily.
29:00
He's probably 20 years older than me, so he's a little like a
29:04
little bit out of my age. I mean, definitely not my age
29:08
bracket, but I kind of was like, you know, well, why not just see
29:12
what happens? But then like he came over to
29:17
hang out with me and my kids and then he like presumptively
29:20
kissed me and I was like, what you know, And it was kind of
29:24
like caught me off guard. So do you help with in real life
29:27
situations like that of? Course, of course I helped.
29:30
I helped navigate all those situations.
29:33
OK, OK, good. Because that's I'm like
29:36
confused. So wait, so he asked you for
29:38
coffee? Yeah.
29:40
You went to coffee? Yep, and then what was it at the
29:43
coffee place he tried to kiss you?
29:45
No, it was the next day like because we I said, look, I'm
29:48
going to do a lemonade stand because he that's How I Met him.
29:51
I did a lemonade stand on my front lawn.
29:53
He came past, we hung out with my kids.
29:56
He asked me for a coffee date two few days later we went out
30:00
and then. Have you done 2 coffee dates
30:02
with him? No, just one.
30:03
OK, you OK, So came by the lemonade stand.
30:06
Then you went to the coffee date.
30:08
OK. Yeah.
30:09
And then he, I, he said, let me know when you do another
30:12
lemonade stand. I'm like, well, it's the
30:13
weekend. It's probably going to happen
30:14
tomorrow and it happened the next day.
30:16
So he came by and then, you know, we both like said how we
30:20
had such a good time on the coffee date and we really liked
30:24
the conversation, which we did. And then he leaned in and kissed
30:27
me and I was sort of like, you know, I'm, I'm more fluid.
30:31
I go with these things in the moment.
30:33
But now I'm like, oh, I don't know.
30:35
If I that was a little bit, I don't know.
30:38
But then it might be just because his age.
30:39
So I don't know. How old are you?
30:42
46 so he's. Got to be 65 because he
30:46
literally. Looks, what does he do for a
30:48
living? He's a writer, like
30:51
documentarian, like in in that business.
30:54
He needs to be, well, I know a lot of ladies here are like
30:58
cringing because they say I, you know, because I don't know if
31:00
you know, but I know coffee dates.
31:02
I'm like, no coffee dates, you know?
31:04
But the neighbor thing makes it a little different, right?
31:06
The neighbor thing, kind of because, you know, it's not like
31:10
you're meeting on a dating app or, you know, I could, I'm cool
31:13
with a coffee date, maybe in the neighbor situation, but but he
31:17
needs to step up his game like a dinner, you know what I'm
31:20
saying, right? Needs to happen before he's
31:22
coming in for a kiss, for God's sakes, you know, And the man
31:24
should be lucky to have he's going for a woman 20 years
31:28
younger. So I mean, yeah, I wouldn't, I
31:31
wouldn't do another coffee date with him.
31:33
Yeah. Absolutely not.
31:35
Yeah. OK.
31:35
Thank you. OK, cool.
31:36
Thank you. OK, so that's going to wrap it
31:39
up for today. Ladies, I want you to be safe
31:42
out there when you're dating. OK?
31:44
So just always have me in your head and say to yourself, what
31:49
would Gina do? All right, I'm kidding.
31:51
And I'm not getting at the same time because trust me, because I
31:54
care about you all deeply. If you ever want to join a live
31:57
power hour and you're there on the Zoom with us virtually, and
32:02
it's rapid fire Q&A. So if you show up, got to bring
32:05
a question. That's the rule. e-mail us and
32:08
we'll put you on the list and we'll invite you to join us one
32:10
of these days. Team Gina at ginahendrix.com.
32:13
And don't ever forget, I'm always going to be sharing bits
32:19
here and there, spilling tea on the wacky world of matchmaking.
32:24
Because in love and dating, there's never a dull moment.
32:28
All right, see you soon. I want to keep up with more of
32:36
Gina's advice. Follow her on TikTok and
32:39
Instagram at matchmaker Gina Hendricks or visit her
32:42
matchmaking website ginahendricks.com.