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Anyone can be a gold digger · 12 Minutes of Nonsense

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Alright guys, we're back once again for another episode of 12 Minutes of Nonsense.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm Nathan, you know, and I'll be about that nonsense.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: That's my that's my job is to be about the nonsense.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna talk about the nonsense.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: Uh so what's going on today?
0:20
SPEAKER_01: Um first of all, my birthday's coming up.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: My birthday's August 14th, so you know what I'm saying?
0:27
SPEAKER_01: You wanna float me a little something something, please do.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: I would appreciate it.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: Um if you don't, you know, that's that's fine.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: I guess you just don't like albino people.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: You know, I it's it's disrespectful, but I guess that's what you no, I'm just fucking with you.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: Nah, for real though.
0:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh my birthday's coming up.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Uh what I really need is to get my teeth fixed.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's gonna cost another$2,100.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: I say another because I'm already in like$3,800.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: I ain't really had that, and I don't got the$21, so niggas is broke these days.
1:01
SPEAKER_01: Um also uh I need to get some glasses.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: They like$500.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: And uh I gotta get uh I want to go to the Gorillas concert, which is in October, take my daughter to the gorilla concert.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: She's only been to one concert in her entire life.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: Me and her have been trying to get the money up to go to this concert, but the tickets are like 500.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: Uh so you know, holla at your boy.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, um, that's nonsense.
1:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
1:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, you don't gotta do none of that shit.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: But uh I'd appreciate if you did, you know what I'm saying?
1:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, but here here's here's some nonsense that I that I was thinking about.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Um I was in the supermarket and I saw this lady and she had a certain a service animal.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: And I've talked about this before.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: I've talked about how I think that if you have a service animal, your service animal should be weird as fuck.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: Like, like I don't want it, like I don't want to see you with a service dog because then it just seems like you just needed a friend.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
2:04
SPEAKER_01: Like it just seems like oh, you know, he just needed a friend, and like you just an unlikable person.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
2:12
SPEAKER_01: But but if you have like a cappy barra, I'm like, oh, that dude needs that service animal.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
2:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, and I actually saw somebody the other day at the gym, and they had a service, I think it was a fucking iguana.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: But it was a service iguana, and I had more, and I just felt like and it was a black dude too, and I was like, yo, I have more respect for that dude than anybody in the world because he's like, yo, I'm having troubles, okay?
2:46
SPEAKER_01: This iguana helps me.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: And who's questioning that?
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Who's questioning your service, iguana?
2:53
SPEAKER_01: God damn it.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: I was, I don't know, it just it, you know what I mean?
2:57
SPEAKER_01: Like it just let I just had a new level of respect for dude.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
3:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, I was like, man, good, good for you, man.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for being fucked up, for having problems and finding a solution.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
3:13
SPEAKER_01: Cause that's all, that's what I'm about.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm about finding, you know, it's a problem, let's find a solution.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm not one of those, you know, I know there's a lot, look, there's a lot of comedians out there that like to act like words don't mean shit.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, they're just words, but like, I no, I don't, no, I don't, I don't really, I don't really believe.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, here's the thing.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: Look, I I get what people are saying when they say that words are just words.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: But like, if you were to just be like, you what pit what pisses me off is that motherfuckers know what they're doing when they say that shit.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, look, I anything I've ever said on stage, I've always said it on stage.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm always trying to joke, okay?
3:55
SPEAKER_01: So a motherfucker getting mad at something I say on stage, you you don't get to tell me what I meant by what I fucking said.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: But you also, I don't get to tell you that you didn't get mad at something that I said.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
4:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, if you got mad, you allowed to get mad.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop saying what the fuck I'm saying, but you allowed to get mad.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, but people who act like, oh, words are just words, or like, like, like, for real?
4:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Like, what if you came around me and I was like, damn boy, you got a sexy ass three-year-old right there.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: But nah, dawg, words are just words, though.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about?
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, words are just words, bruh.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, no, they're not just fucking words.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: They're not just fucking words.
4:33
SPEAKER_01: Words, words can mean all different types of shit.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: And when people say they're just words, it's because they don't lack the ability to actually communicate with people.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: They they just that's just it's a it's laziness, okay?
4:48
SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm I'm I'll say this in the comedy community.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, motherfuckers be like, it's what words are just what no, you just a lazy ass comedian, and you can't make the thing that you're trying to make funny funny, so you blaming the audience for not understanding.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: Now I never do that.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm not gonna blame the audience for not getting it.
5:07
SPEAKER_01: It's my job to be funny.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Now, sometimes I'm not gonna be funny because we do have to fucking practice in public.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: That's all I know.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: It's the only fucking career I know.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: But motherfuckers gotta practice in public, you know what I'm saying?
5:16
SPEAKER_01: So, like, I get I get the fucking like I'm never I'm never gonna fucking be on the other side of it.
5:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm always gonna be on comedy, you know, on the side of comedy.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: On the you know, anything can be funny, but not everything is funny.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Like, I can make a joke out of anything, I can make anything funny, but not everything is going to be funny.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: And when people say, so, so, so I will always back a motherfucker the ability to say something, but like again, you you're gonna take consequences.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes you're not gonna fucking win.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: And and that's okay, but you know, if you don't find something funny as the audience member, just don't find it funny.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: The quickest, the easiest way to get a comedian to stop telling a joke that you don't like is to not laugh.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: Our whole job is to make people laugh.
6:03
SPEAKER_01: If we're not doing that, then we're gonna stop telling that joke that's not making people laugh.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: But for one person in the crowd to be like, that's I didn't find that funny, so he shouldn't say it anymore, and nobody else should find it funny.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's ridiculous.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, why would I take your opinion on what I do when I've been doing it for almost 18 years and you ain't never done it a day in your life?
6:25
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
6:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, so basically, what I'm trying to say is everybody is raggedy.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
6:32
SPEAKER_01: Like everybody, everybody is is mad raggedy.
6:36
SPEAKER_01: And I think we just need to come to grips with that, man.
6:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, there's no such thing as a non-ragedy sum bitch.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
6:44
SPEAKER_01: Like, it's like that, it's like it's like how people always talk about women, like women, well, women are gold diggers, man.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, women are gold diggers, like men ain't gold diggers too.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: That's a st- I hate when people say that shit.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, women just be wanting money.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Motherfuckers, so do men, nigga.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: Give me that money.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, I ain't never seen like motherfuckers be like, oh man, all these rappers and shit.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, it pissed me off when rappers be like talking about women, like all these bitches want his motherfucking money.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: Nigga, that's all your niggas.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: What your nigga look, at least the bitches is willing to fuck.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: Your niggas is round you, they ain't what they ain't willing to throw it back at all, dawg.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: Like your homie Craig, he ain't throwing nothing back.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: He he didn't offer you a hand job or nothing.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: He just hanging with you.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: At least Keisha offered to throw it back one time, gave you the illusion that she might suck your dick.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: But Craig ain't even offer nothing, dawg.
7:40
SPEAKER_01: That's a gold digger.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: Craig the neck Craig, the realest gold digger alive.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: You just mad that your penis wasn't enough.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: That's what that is.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: You mad because you fucked Keisha and you was like, well, I gave Keisha this dick.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: So she should be okay with that.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: Because you thought your dick was magic, and now you mad because your dick was not enough.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: That's what it is.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: It's not, it's not that, it's not about the money.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: You mad that your dick wasn't enough, that she actually wanted financials.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
8:15
SPEAKER_01: She wanted something fiduciary.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't even know if I'm using that that word right, but you you mad because she came around and you was like, yo, I'm gonna give you this dick.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: And she like, nah, what I what I really wanted is is the money.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: She like, I'm gonna give you this pussy and you're gonna give me the money.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: And you like, nah, but I'll give you this dick.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: And she like the dick, nah, dog.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't want the dick ain't the dick ain't cash.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
8:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, give me, give me, give me that Louis Vuitton bag, bruh.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't want your dick is your dick is average at best, bruh.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: But dudes be thinking that they dick is enough.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: They think that they dick is magic.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: And and and your dick ain't magic.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: But ladies, at the same time, your shit ain't magic.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: Like, you need to stop thinking that your pussy is the best.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Because you wanna know who, like, ladies, I'm gonna tell you this, this real shit.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: You wanna know who honestly, like for real, has the best pussy.
9:12
SPEAKER_01: Everybody.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: Like all other ladies.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: It's always dope.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: It's so dope.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: When you just splash it in that motherfucker, it's so dope.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: It's all of them.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: It's dope.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: Even bad ones, even like even a bad time is a dope time.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
9:29
SPEAKER_01: There's websites for motherfuckers who just fuck bitches with AIDS.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy work.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: That should let you know how dope the worst one is.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we can all just admit that people is raggedy, okay?
9:45
SPEAKER_01: Men and women, we all raggedy.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: That's what it is.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: Alright?
9:50
SPEAKER_01: Pussy ain't enough, dick ain't enough.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Give me that cash.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: We all gold diggers.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: Anybody can be a gold digger, alright?
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Facts.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: Alright?
10:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't know why I had to say facts when I'm the one that said the shit in the first place.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: That's stupid.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh hey, look, you ever you ever think about like how long it took people to go from the world is flat to the world is round?
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Cause like that shit didn't happen overnight.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, like the first motherfucker, the first 10 people to believe that the world was round, they probably killed them.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: And then like who was who was who what was the first generation that knew that the world was round?
10:40
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, because it wasn't like, oh shit, it's flat.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And then it's oh shit.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: The next day, it's round.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: Nah, it wasn't like that.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: That's not how that shit happened.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Mother is a gang of people who died believing that the earth was flat.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: Like 100%.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: There's a there's so many people that live their whole life and died believing that man, this earth is flat.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Like they on their deathbed really thinking like it's crazy.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: These there's really motherfuckers out there that believe that the earth is round.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: That is insane.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
11:18
SPEAKER_01: Like there's a gang of motherfuckers that believe that.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: So so what was the generation that was like, when did it hit the 50-50 mark?
11:29
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
11:30
SPEAKER_01: Because like right now, it's probably like I'd say 99% of the people on the planet believe that the earth is round.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: And then there's 1% that thinks it's flat or some other thing.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
11:44
SPEAKER_01: But there was a point when it was 99% of the people that believed the earth was flat, and there was 1% that believed it was round.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: But then there was also a point where it was 50-50.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: And I want to know what was happening in that 50-50.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: Was it like a was it like a duck season, rabbit season type thing?
12:04
SPEAKER_01: It's flat, it's round, it's flat, it's round, it's flat, it's round.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's round, it's flat, it's round.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: Haha, you know what I mean?
12:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, was it like that?
12:11
SPEAKER_01: Or did it just like was it causing like battles at the dinner table?
12:18
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
12:19
SPEAKER_01: Like how how how politics causes now?
12:22
SPEAKER_01: Mom, the fucking world is round.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: You guys are so old.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Gosh.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
12:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, was it like that?
12:29
SPEAKER_00: I've been all over this bad damn planet, and I've never seen a round trying to have a bad camera.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: It's a flat, it's a flat, it's flat, right?
12:38
SPEAKER_00: We are the center of the universe.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: No, we're not, dad.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: God, you know what I mean?
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, was it like that?
12:44
SPEAKER_01: Was it ever like that?
12:45
SPEAKER_01: What point in history was it a 50-50 thing?
12:50
SPEAKER_01: That's what I want to know.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: That's what I think that that and I think that I I want to know what people were battling about at that time.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: Like, how were the fights?
13:02
SPEAKER_01: How were the fights just in general back in the day?
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Because like in the yeah, I feel like in the like like in the year, like, you know, the middle ages or some shit, like you definitely heard your parents fucking, right?
13:15
SPEAKER_01: Because it was just the houses with just one big ass room.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: So what'd you do?
13:18
SPEAKER_01: Just send your kids outside?
13:20
SPEAKER_01: And then you fucked, and then they came back inside, but there was no showers, so it still smelt like ass and you know, just budussy up in that motherfucker.
13:31
SPEAKER_01: Ugh nine-year-olds smelling with daddy and mommy, uh.
13:34
SPEAKER_01: And it's not like they bathed after that shit.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: Damn.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: I bet I bet the year 1196 stank like a son of a bitch.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, I bet that shit was stank.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: Just like, especially like caked on ball sweat.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: Caked on coochie slobs.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about?
13:54
SPEAKER_01: Like, ugh.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: I bet that shit was stank stank.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: Ugh.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: Just sucking dirty dicks and eating rancid coochie.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Ugh.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: Damn.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I really do be happy the life we live.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about?
14:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, sometimes I really do be happy.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: Like shit, shit do suck.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: It's it's a lot of shit that suck.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: We I mean like our president regularly shits his pants.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: And I I'm gonna be honest with you.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's mad disrespectful.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: That's that's really that's really disrespectful.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't give a damn about politics.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: But you you just gonna shit your pants and then act like you didn't shit your pants, bruh.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: Like I it is so it surprises me that nobody has like, look, I'm I don't care who you is.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: If we're talking on TV and you shit your pants, I'm pointing out that you shit your pants.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: Especially if you an asshole.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: Especially if I shit my pants, because Trump is the type of motherfucker that if somebody else shit their pants, he would point it out.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: This guy, uh he shit his pants, uh.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: He's pooped himself there.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: He's the type of motherfucker that would point that shit out.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm the type of motherfucker that I'm gonna point that shit out too.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: To him.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Motherfucker, you shit your pants.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about?
15:08
SPEAKER_01: Like that, nigga.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: Shitty motherfucker.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: And how how many times do you gotta shit your pants to where he don't even flinch?
15:17
SPEAKER_01: He don't even flinch no more.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: He just, like, who can who shits their pants straight faced?
15:25
SPEAKER_01: A straight faced pants shitter?
15:27
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy work, bruh.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy work.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: Damn, that's crazy.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: Ugh.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: Also, uh, this is just a random thought, uh, because this is, you know, 12 minutes of nonsense.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: This is nonsense.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: I don't uh I don't care if people eat dogs.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go ahead and say it.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: I I don't I don't care if people eat dogs.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: Because let me first of all, if like motherfuckers act like that.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: There's countries around the world that would where they eat dogs and shit, and then people always act like that's their first choice and shit.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Look, if you in a country where y'all eating dogs, I can guarantee, first of all, that wasn't their first choice.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: Dog ain't nobody's first choice.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: Nobody's getting filet mignon, and then something they're like, you know what?
16:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't really want this, but if y'all have dog on the menu, ah y'all cook the fuck out of Fido.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about?
16:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, hey man, if you got Max in the back, woo, cook that nigga up.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
16:31
SPEAKER_01: Like, nope, that's not their first try.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: If you eating dog, then you you needed to eat.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
16:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, if you eating dog, you needed to eat that dog.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
16:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's real shit.
16:44
SPEAKER_01: So if you eat dog, it's cause you needed to eat.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: So I don't really mind if you eating dog.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, as long as you don't eat my dog.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
16:53
SPEAKER_01: Like, it's just don't, don't, don't like eat your neighbor's dog.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: That's disrespectful.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: But you know, you find a straight.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Look, I'm gonna be look, if I found a stray ass filet mignon, I might eat that bitch if I'm hungry.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
17:08
SPEAKER_01: I want the other the other week, we was going to the motherfucking uh super, we was going to the mall, and uh I saw a homeless dude reach into a trash can, pull out a smoothie, and it still had the straw in it, and that motherfucker check what was in it.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: He just started sucking on that straw.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: You know how hungry that motherfucker, you know what I mean?
17:27
SPEAKER_01: Like he look.
17:29
SPEAKER_01: He just reached in and grabbed it and started sucking it like he said, like he had put it there to save it for later.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: That shit was crazy.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: Damn that shit was crazy.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: But you know, if I saw him eating a dog, what am I supposed to say?
17:44
SPEAKER_01: Hey, hey, hey, Mr.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: Homeless Man, who gotta eat all his meals outside, don't eat that dog.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: I know you're hungry, but don't eat that dog.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Disrespect, man.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: Eat what you can eat what you can catch, bruh.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: Eat what you can catch.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Because I guarantee you, if motherfuckers had to eat what they could catch, it'd be a lot of hungry bitches around here.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: It'd be some hungry motherfuckers around here.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: Cause I uh my knees is my knees is crazy out of shape.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: So eating what I catch, shit.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: I can I can catch one of them Uber robots that be that be fucking driving people's food that they pot they spot.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: You know them little robots?
18:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't like that they gave them robots eyes.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: I don't like that.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, I don't care if motherfuckers eat dog.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna tell you, like that's real shit.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: So that's about it, y'all.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: That is uh that's my nonsense for the day.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: For the week.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: Birthday is August 14th.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: You wanna send me something, please do.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: If you don't, it's all good.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: I got a show coming up in Bellflower, Washington at the comedy club uh on August 28th.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: So get your tickets now.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: Please get your tickets now.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to sell this bitch out.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: Um I'll be in Detroit next month at the Detroit Comedy Festival.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Look out for that.
19:14
SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, man.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Follow me on everything.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh and uh if you love them, hug them for six seconds or more and high five everybody, y'all.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: I'll let y'all next time.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: 12 minutes of nonsense.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: Nathan Heard.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Deuces.