Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / Break the cycle of bad habits and Awaken the Giant within

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Break the cycle of bad habits and Awaken the Giant within · Terri Messenger's Genius Zone

0:00
How do you know, Max, that there is a floor underneath your bed
0:06
every time you wake up in the morning and get out of bed?
0:13
That's a very tricky question. Can you repeat that again?
0:16
My my my mind. I wasn't, I, I know I, I
0:19
deliberately did that. And that's another thing too.
0:21
That's not. Familiar with the term.
0:22
But that that's a patent interruption from how?
0:24
Do you know there's a floor under you?
0:26
So in other words, let me reframe it.
0:29
OK? When you get out of bed in every
0:31
morning, you don't think to yourself, oh, I better check to
0:35
see if there's a floor before I step out of bed, right?
0:38
You know there's a floor, is that right?
0:40
Yes, absolutely. Now, when you get on the floor
0:43
and you put 1 foot on the floor and then the next foot, do you
0:48
ask yourself, which foot am I going to start walking with?
0:52
Do you ask yourself that question?
0:53
Absolutely. That's crazy.
0:56
That's crazy. I mean, you don't even do it
0:58
when you jump in a car, right? I mean, Once Upon a time when
1:01
you learn to drive, I remember my father taught me how to drive
1:05
when I was 17 years old. Yeah.
1:07
And I can remember, you know, thinking to myself with a
1:10
manual, Oh my goodness, you've got to put your foot on on the
1:13
clutch. Then you've got to move the
1:14
gears. Yep.
1:15
Then you've got to hold the steering wheel all at the same
1:18
time. And Oh my gosh, you've got to
1:20
indicate and not to mention look out for other cars, but then all
1:24
of a sudden you become a consciously competent driver and
1:30
you no longer even think about driving while you're driving.
1:33
In fact, I don't know about you, but sometimes I can get to the
1:37
destination without even remembering what gear I was in
1:42
or what I did on the way there. Because that becomes autopilot.
1:47
Right, OK. So if I asked you the question
1:50
now, so if that's the case, what I've said, you don't have to
1:53
think about which foot you walk on, you don't have to wonder
1:57
about whether there's a floor. 54321 Go.
2:11
Edge Radio. It's Edge Radio Australia and we
3:17
are on the air with Max. How you doing Mad Max from
3:21
Mexico? Hi, Terry.
3:24
Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure for me being
3:26
here. Sorry about the delay, folks.
3:28
We've got a bit of technical issues here.
3:30
However, we're going to get straight into the show.
3:33
And I do have to say this man, this gentleman has come all the
3:38
way from down the road and he has, he is responsible for the E
3:44
bike I ride on just about every day.
3:46
So I just want to say thank you for that Max.
3:50
It's been an absolute life changer for me.
3:54
Oh, well, I'm glad you like it. It's, it's been a pleasure
3:58
having you as a customer and, you know, taking the bike out,
4:02
you just basically you seeking freedom, you know, you exercise
4:05
and you enjoy the great outdoors.
4:07
We're having a beautiful weather this week.
4:10
So, you know, by all means, ride it for as much as you want, you
4:13
know? Yeah, Yeah, we're, we're
4:15
definitely having good weather, but we're going to talk about
4:18
breaking the cycle of bad habits.
4:21
And it was something that I did speak to you about.
4:24
Now you're one of these guys that works hard and plays hard.
4:28
So, you know, when you're coming home from work, you talked about
4:32
something that you do that obviously helps you unwind.
4:37
And do you consider that a good habit or a bad habit?
4:40
Well. To me, it's a wonderful habit
4:42
because being and running a business, being under constant
4:50
pressure for me is, you know, taking care of overdoing voices,
4:55
phone calls, emails, corporate meetings, everything gets piled
5:00
up and it creates a lot of stress and it, it takes a lot
5:04
out of me. So when I when I come home, I
5:06
like to open a bottle. A bottle, a bottle of water, a
5:10
bottle of Coke I. Like to open a bottle, either a
5:12
bottle of wine, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of gin, a
5:15
bottle of. Beer.
5:16
Whiskey. Or whatever that is.
5:17
So I just need to have some alcohols because I really need
5:21
to switch off, you know, it doing business, it takes so much
5:26
out of me. It creates a lot of pressure.
5:29
So I just need to have a drink after I finish work.
5:31
That's fair enough. Do you know the reason that
5:34
human beings do stuff like that? It's well, it creates it creates
5:39
an endorphin, I think, and it helps them to relax and calm,
5:43
calm down. And it also, you know, that's
5:46
that is creating a bad habit and, you know, increases over
5:50
time. OK.
5:51
So from the NLP world, you're right, actually anything that we
5:57
perceive makes us feel good does create that dopamine, that
6:02
endorphin, that kind of hit that we're looking for in the world
6:06
of NLP. We call it changing state.
6:09
See it's impossible for us to stay in the same state for
6:15
longer than around about. I think it's like one or two
6:19
minutes. So we are constantly moving in
6:22
and out of state. So if you're working all day as
6:27
you do when you work hard and obviously there's challenges and
6:31
things that come up, the first thing people want to do is, you
6:35
know, come home and unwind. And I'm not saying everybody's
6:38
going to open a bottle. It could be that people go to
6:42
the cupboard and pull out food and then they start and that
6:46
they look at it in a way that is, well, I deserve this.
6:50
This is my time now. And that's the perception that I
6:55
really want to talk about today because it's also a perception
6:59
that doesn't always match our dreams and desires.
7:03
So I've got a question for you. Are you ready?
7:05
Shoot. OK.
7:07
Where's my gun? OK.
7:09
So would you say if you drunk a bottle of whiskey every day, you
7:14
would become the person that you truly want to be in your future
7:20
dreams? Not to say that you do, but
7:21
let's just say that was the case.
7:24
Would you be able to really fully achieve the person of your
7:30
dreams having done that? No.
7:34
Right. So this is the interesting
7:36
connection. See, your brain doesn't know
7:38
that. My brain doesn't know that, yes.
7:41
Your brain thinks that it's actually giving itself that
7:46
ability to unwind and unpack and and do all those.
7:52
Not that I drink a whole a bottle of a whole bottle of of
7:56
whiskey, but I like to have at least three glasses a night.
7:59
But you know, when it comes to the habit, my brain doesn't tell
8:04
me that. Sure, because you've got two
8:07
parts of your brain, right Max? You've got the subconscious
8:11
brain and the subconscious brain is the part that is saying you
8:16
deserve to have a drink, you've been working hard all day, or it
8:19
could be you deserve to have something to eat and fill your
8:25
stomach up with all the good stuff.
8:27
So we are constantly turning to things that we perceive are
8:32
going to change our state because we actually think we
8:36
deserve it. But you know, the language of
8:40
NLP can be very blunt sometimes and I find myself saying to
8:44
people, so do you really think you deserve to be obese and
8:48
unhealthy and get the diseases that go with?
8:52
But that's not the way their subconscious mind was actually
8:55
interpreting it. And it's the same as when you
8:58
drink, you're not thinking that will all the damage it would do
9:03
to your kidneys and your liver and what it would do to your
9:06
brain. You're thinking in terms of
9:09
what? What are you thinking when you
9:11
have a drink? Well I'm thinking of technically
9:17
I deserve this for now. It helps me unwind.
9:22
You know, I'm sure other people has different habits, but you
9:26
know, me having a glass of wine or maybe 2, I think that my
9:31
brain deserves this as a form of a treat.
9:34
Yes. And that's the question that I'd
9:37
like to throw out there to our listeners, and that is that when
9:41
you're doing something that is, you know, considered a bad
9:45
habit, would you say it is a bad habit, by the way?
9:50
Not at that exact, not at that moment, not at that.
9:54
Moment, but now. It is a bad habit.
9:57
Yes. OK, cool.
9:58
OK, so you say right now you you know when you're away from it,
10:03
you can objectively see it's a bad habit, but then you tell
10:07
yourself a different story when you're about to indulge.
10:10
Oh, absolutely. OK, so what's the story you tell
10:13
yourself? What?
10:13
Just as you're about to indulge? Well, when I come home, I just
10:19
want to say I'm so tired. I'm just, I've had enough of
10:23
this world and I think I need a drink.
10:26
I need to unwind. I need to.
10:27
I think I deserve this. OK, so that's the big thing that
10:32
you're dealing with. So the question is that while
10:36
you're saying I think I need to unwind, I need a drink or I need
10:41
a smoke or I need that extra bit of food, I deserve this.
10:47
Think about this, do you really deserve to have all of the
10:53
consequences that go with because that's the part that the
10:56
subconscious doesn't process? But you've actually given me
11:01
some really great questions and you've done it from a position
11:05
that you, you probably don't know as much as a person who's
11:11
done an NLP training course about what NLP is, what hypnosis
11:16
is, and how it can change. So you've given me these amazing
11:20
questions, so I'm going to bring them up.
11:23
Do you actually want to read it out?
11:26
Can you see that? Yep.
11:28
So it's a, it starts off. I'm wondering if everybody else
11:32
is going to want to hear these questions too.
11:35
OK, so I'll ask you this question for you, Terry.
11:40
For some people hearing about NLP for the first time, what
11:44
actually is it? What is NLP?
11:47
Well, firstly it's important to know what it stands for.
11:51
So it stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming.
11:56
So neuro is obviously the brain and the neuro pathways of the
12:03
brain. Logical is logic and programming
12:09
is the way that we have been programmed since birth.
12:14
So whatever you have, you've told yourself, and what you're
12:19
telling yourself and the way you speak to yourself is really
12:24
what's manifesting your life. So with Neuro Linguistic
12:28
Programming, we look at it so that we can reprogram.
12:33
OK, Does that kind of help? Yes, it does.
12:36
It's it's it does help. I have another question for you.
12:41
Yes, I'll bring it up here too on the screen so everyone can
12:46
read it as well. And if you're interested in it,
12:49
please drop your comments if you've got any questions so that
12:52
we can pick them up and answer them later as well.
12:56
OK, Terry, so we got here. Can anyone be hypnotized and
12:59
what happens in a typical hypnotherapy session?
13:02
So that is a really classic question.
13:05
And the fact is everybody is already hypnotized.
13:10
So while people think that hypnotists or hypnotherapists
13:15
respectfully, are going to put people to sleep, that is not the
13:21
case because in actual fact, we wake people up because all the
13:26
habits that you've created. So for example, what you've just
13:31
been what we've talked about with drinking and, and if it's
13:34
food or if it's cigarettes or the way that we choose our
13:38
relationships and we sabotage ourself.
13:41
That is a pattern that has been programmed.
13:46
So really what hypnotherapy is, it's about looking at what is
13:53
being set up and how that's not working for the person and being
13:58
able to make change. But in order to make change, the
14:02
answer to your question is, can everybody go to sleep?
14:05
Well, if I was the kind of hypnotherapist that needed to
14:09
put people to sleep, I would say no, not everybody can be
14:13
hypnotized. The fact is that can everyone
14:18
reprogram their brain? Yes.
14:22
And so that's where neuro linguistic programming comes.
14:25
In to last time when I went to your to the works of and
14:31
everybody was in the zone and I just couldn't stop yawning
14:35
because I was accepting accepting the program and I had
14:40
to apologise in advance. And I was and I said to you, oh,
14:43
I'm so sorry. I'm just yawning because I was
14:44
basically, I was getting into the zone of, you know,
14:49
developing health reprogram my brain.
14:52
But yeah, I guess it's, you know, it does work.
14:56
I feel that, you know, it needs more training because the brain
15:00
needs to be. Trained always.
15:02
I mean, my brain needs more training.
15:05
I think we all are on that, you know, pathway to upgrading.
15:10
Just on that note though, I'm quite used to people yawning OK
15:14
throughout my sessions. I feel bad because I yeah, I
15:17
didn't want you to have the running impression, but say, oh,
15:19
this is boring. But no, it's actually was was,
15:22
you know, I was in a calm, relaxed state that I was
15:25
receiving information and the session went absolutely, it went
15:29
great. So I think that was that was
15:31
working. Well, that is hypnosis and
15:34
that's hypnosis without you being asleep.
15:36
Because the reality of it is, getting back to your question is
15:41
that you've got to get past the judgement part of the brain.
15:46
So when you can move, it's called bypassing consciousness
15:52
of it. So when you're sitting there,
15:54
you might be going, oh, look at a hair today or you might take
15:58
notice of the way that a persons dressed or the way they're
16:01
talking. So when you can get a person to
16:04
the level of they're not judging anymore, their judgment has
16:10
close down and now they are processing.
16:14
So it's all about themself. So it's coming back to them.
16:18
That is true professional hypnosis.
16:21
So does that make sense? Very it does.
16:26
OK, so I'm going to go to your next question because I thought
16:29
these questions were absolutely amazing and you want to read out
16:33
your next question. Yes.
16:35
So we've got here Why do people stay stuck in bad habits even
16:42
when they want to change? OK, that's a very and that
16:47
connects with everything else. So on one side of the, you know,
16:52
quite often I'll do the parts integration.
16:55
So on one hand, a person wants to change, they want to perhaps
17:00
get their body into shape, they want to stop drinking or they
17:04
want to start controlling the way they drink.
17:07
They want to about controlling the way they eat.
17:10
They want to take control of their lives so they can be
17:14
better. But then on the other hand, that
17:17
part of the brain we're talking about, which is the subconscious
17:20
is going talk to the hand because that's the part that's
17:24
been programmed. So until you can literally
17:30
bypass your logic, because that logic that says, yes, I'm going
17:36
to be better off if I do stop drinking or if I stop smoking or
17:41
if I stop doing the things that I'm doing, you still have to
17:46
really what I do as a clinical hypnotherapist is I advocate for
17:52
the subconscious. So rather than going against the
17:56
subconscious in a way of, oh, you know, it's really bad.
17:59
You shouldn't drink every day that's really bad for you and or
18:03
you shouldn't smoke because smoking is bad for your lungs.
18:06
That is going to create a instant barrier between you and
18:12
I because the subconscious mind is going to go, I'm not going to
18:16
listen to you. But on the other hand, if I turn
18:19
around and go, you know what? I really get the reason that you
18:23
would be drinking because I think it's a really good way to
18:27
kind of unwind. That's a really good strategy.
18:30
But what if I was to tell you that there could be an even
18:34
better strategy? You see, you're kind of.
18:38
Yeah, you you see how you're dealing with that resilience.
18:42
Yes, it does. And, you know, so the reason
18:45
that people stay stuck is because they're trying to
18:49
operate out of their own self-discipline.
18:53
And really, none of us have that self.
18:54
And it creates some kind of resentment for some people's.
18:58
They say, oh, I hate the way that you smoke.
19:00
Smoking it's bad for you or the other person that's receiving
19:04
this message is resenting it. It it's, it's kind of like
19:08
stepping back it, it, it creates barriers as you mentioned.
19:13
Yeah, and it's the same with parents and their teenagers.
19:16
So if you've got a teenager and they're involved in something
19:20
that you know is not good, the first thing that's going to
19:23
happen, the moment that you tell that teenager you shouldn't be
19:28
doing this and you shouldn't be doing that, is that wall's going
19:30
to come up and they're going to find a way to get around it.
19:34
But the whole idea is to be able to speak to them from where
19:40
they're coming from, what they're trying to achieve out of
19:44
it and and look at so for example, let's go back to the
19:48
drinking. So you said that you are busy
19:52
all day, You've had a hard day at work, you come home and you
19:56
want to unravel, you want to unwind, you want to let go.
20:00
What does that feel like? Well, that's a very it's an
20:06
interesting question. It feels great.
20:10
What does grade feel like? Can you?
20:11
Describe It feels great because it feels a way that I can relax
20:18
and just being normal rather than stressed out and, you know,
20:24
carrying a lot of burden in you. OK, so you're so the magic
20:29
bullet right there is that you want to feel normal and not
20:34
carrying all the stress. Now I wonder, see I would ask
20:40
you and obviously this is not a full blown session.
20:43
I'm not an alcoholic, however, but you know, I've got that.
20:45
That's OK. We're not.
20:46
I don't label people. Look, to be quite honest with
20:49
you, the one thing that I really hate is when I'm dealing with
20:55
people who tell me that they are an alcoholic and they are.
21:01
They belong to a group of people.
21:02
I'm not going to mention the name.
21:05
And so they don't drink anymore, but they still say an alcoholic.
21:10
I hate that because what they're saying is that you're always
21:15
going to be that way. It's a bit like anorexia
21:18
nervosa, and I'm quite accustomed to that disease when
21:23
a person gets so thin and stops eating and practically dies.
21:30
And I mean, you heard maybe the Carpenters and that woman, the
21:34
one of the singers actually passed away of anorexia nervosa.
21:39
It's actually not about the food.
21:42
It's more about what that person perceived they were going to
21:47
get. And so I don't believe that that
21:51
person is stuck with that disease for the rest of their
21:55
life. What I believe is that our brain
21:59
can reprogram. However, the catch 22, the
22:05
missing piece if you like, is that in order for them to be
22:11
able to let go. So for you, for example, getting
22:14
back to the alcohol to get rid of the stress, to get rid of
22:19
that feeling that you want to let go of when you're coming
22:22
home from work, right? The fact is it's a trigger, and
22:28
that trigger is built on many other triggers that really
22:34
determine how your day is going to go.
22:37
Because you might have a customer that comes in and that
22:40
customer might be a perfectly good customer, but they do
22:44
something that reminds you of a customer that might have really
22:48
burnt your books or really fouled things up for you.
22:53
So your subconscious mind is on the lookout for that.
22:56
So it's called accumulation of stress.
23:00
So when you can go back and release the stress of some of
23:08
the worst experiences you've ever had, not so you can forget
23:11
those experiences, Max, but so that every day is a new day.
23:16
You're not building and accumulating today's or
23:20
tomorrow's stress based on yesterday's.
23:23
Does that make sense? It does, yes.
23:25
Yeah. And as far as the alcohol is
23:28
concerned, or I refer to the anorexia nervosa, what you, what
23:33
the real point is, is going back and tracking.
23:37
And this is where hypnosis is really great.
23:40
It can go back and track to where you first made the
23:44
association because that's what it's all about.
23:47
It's about associations of, you know, when you felt that
23:54
drinking alcohol helped you to just let go, unwind and unravel.
23:59
And when that is unleashed and when you can start to create a
24:06
new element of what you can do instead.
24:10
And like I said, what is it that you're wanting to feel?
24:13
You said you want to feel great and you don't want to feel
24:17
stressed. What does that feel like?
24:23
It makes me well, it's, it's it's it's a great not feeling
24:29
stressed. It's, you know, feeling great on
24:32
the weekends. OK, so weekends.
24:34
Is because where where you? Obviously, like, like everybody
24:37
needs, you know, on the weekend it's great.
24:39
Or on a holiday, taking a holiday because, you know, he's
24:41
just got unplugged from the matrix.
24:44
Literally, you know, this, this the rat race and everything, you
24:48
know, just take all that birding out of your your shoulder.
24:52
But you see these? Are the words that you're
24:54
associating right? So the rat race, burden, they're
24:59
all key elements and clues to what would build that up.
25:04
And then you said the weekend. So you then associate weekends
25:08
with fun, freedom, and all those elements.
25:11
What if you could turn it around so that your weekends become
25:16
even better and the days of the week become like the weekends,
25:22
so every day is the weekend? Well, that would be a perfect.
25:25
World for everybody will it? It would be a perfect world for
25:28
you. Well, it would be for.
25:29
You anyway. Some people might not like the
25:31
weekend, I'll be honest, but you know, for you, you've made that
25:35
association. Exactly.
25:36
So you. Know the fact is that while
25:39
you're associating your work, I mean, where is it getting you?
25:44
Even if a person hated their job, which I know that you don't
25:48
really hate it, there's parts about it that you love, like
25:52
serving customers like myself, just saying.
25:56
But you know, it's not going to get you anywhere to feel
26:00
burdened and to have that concept.
26:03
So we call that a belief system, right?
26:05
So you've set up a belief system based upon your past experience.
26:11
Does that make sense? It does make sense.
26:13
Yes, that's you got your finger right, you know, pointing,
26:16
thinking it's, you know, onto the I do it as well.
26:19
You, you're very. Knowledgeable when it comes to
26:20
that, yes. And look, I have.
26:22
To tell you that I do exactly the same thing now.
26:25
I might read this out because I have skipped a couple of your
26:28
questions because of time factor, but this one, I don't
26:33
know whether you can read it on the telly screen.
26:37
Why do people stay stuck? We actually did already have
26:41
that one. The one that I would like to
26:44
bring up is this little one, which I feel is going to be give
26:50
a really, really good answer as well.
26:52
So it's about the subconscious, the daily behaviour.
26:57
I love that question. That's do you want to read it
26:59
out? Yes, it's.
27:02
How much of our daily behaviour is subconscious?
27:08
I bet you you. Can answer this based on what IA
27:12
lot of what I have spoken about and I am going to respectfully
27:17
answer it anyway. But I know that when I say it,
27:20
you're going to know the answer. You're going to say yes, that
27:23
has to be true. How do you know, Max, that there
27:28
is a floor underneath your bed every time you wake up in the
27:33
morning and get out of bed? That's a very tricky question.
27:40
Can you repeat that again? My, my, my mind.
27:42
I wasn't I? I know I I deliberately did
27:45
that. And that's another thing too
27:46
that's not familiar with the term, but.
27:47
That that's a pattern. Interruption from How do you
27:50
know there's a? Floor under you, so in other.
27:52
Words. Let me reframe it.
27:54
OK? When you get out of bed in every
27:56
morning, you don't think to yourself, oh, I better check to
28:00
see if there's a floor before I step out of bed, right?
28:03
You know there's a floor, is that right?
28:06
Yes, absolutely. Now, when you get on the floor
28:09
and you put 1 foot on the floor and then the next foot, do you
28:13
ask yourself, which foot am I going to start walking with?
28:17
Do you ask yourself that question?
28:19
Absolutely. That's crazy.
28:21
That's crazy. I mean, you don't even do it
28:23
when you jump in a car, right? I mean, Once Upon a time when
28:26
you learn to drive, I remember my father taught me how to drive
28:30
when I was 17 years old. Yeah.
28:32
And I can remember, you know, thinking to myself with a
28:36
manual, Oh my goodness, you've got to put your foot on the
28:38
clutch, then you've got to move the gears, then you've got to
28:42
hold the steering all at the same time.
28:44
And Oh my gosh, you've got to indicate and not to mention look
28:48
out for other cars. But then all of a sudden you
28:51
become a consciously competent driver and you no longer even
28:57
think about driving while you're driving.
28:59
In fact, I don't know about you, but sometimes I can get to the
29:02
destination without even remembering what gear I was in
29:07
or what I did on the way there, because that becomes autopilot,
29:13
right? OK.
29:14
So. If I asked you the question now,
29:16
so if that's the case, what I've said, you don't have to think
29:19
about which foot you walk on. You don't have to wonder about
29:23
whether there's a floor underneath.
29:24
No, you don't have to think about your driving.
29:28
You possibly don't even have to think about how you put your
29:31
words together. How much of your daily behaviour
29:34
would that mean is subconscious if it's all in autopilot?
29:39
Basically all the time, everything.
29:41
Exactly, you know. Some people who are right-handed
29:45
used to paint on the right hand or left-handed you just
29:49
everything becomes autopilot because it's, it's the
29:51
subconscious level subconscious mind.
29:54
I have a, you know, that's that's a really good answer that
29:58
that is. That is exactly true.
30:00
The only things that are not subconscious are the things that
30:05
we do not yet know, right? So what you don't know what you
30:10
don't know, some of the things you don't even know, what you
30:12
don't know. However, if you are consciously
30:16
aware that you don't know something, you could become
30:20
consciously competent. And in order to become
30:24
consciously competent, it means that you're not fluid.
30:28
It means that you're not elegant.
30:31
And when I say elegant, we use that terminology in NLP where
30:36
it's smooth, you know, like watching a dancer glide across
30:40
the floor rather than seeing me get up and try to do a waltz or
30:45
something. And it'll be clunky and chunky
30:48
because I'm trying to think about all the moves that I have
30:51
to make, right? So the things that are not known
30:56
to us are practically the only things that are not
31:00
subconscious. Does that answer that question?
31:03
It does. Yes.
31:04
It. Makes a lot of sense.
31:06
Oh dude I didn't know that. This is crazy.
31:09
So your. Questions are actually so, so
31:12
good, So good. Now let's have a look and see.
31:15
I'm not sure whether this was your question or somebody
31:18
else's. Let's just bring it up onto the
31:23
screen. Can yes, that's your question.
31:29
So can changing the way do you want to read it?
31:32
Yeah. Can changing the way we speak to
31:35
ourselves really change our lives?
31:39
OK. So I'm not saying I've got the
31:42
answers for everything here, because I don't.
31:44
Do you speak to yourself? Do I speak?
31:47
To myself out loud, Aaron Malloy would probably say that I do
31:52
like in. You know, when you're driving
31:54
and do you, do you speak to yourself mentally inside?
31:58
Do you have that little, you know, Terry Messenger in the
32:01
back here, you know, or a little, you know, in the
32:03
cartoons, you got a little devil in here screeching, a
32:06
screeching. Monkey on your shoulder or you
32:08
got a little Angel. On this side or a little devil
32:10
on this side. Maybe we should do this.
32:12
Maybe. No, no, don't do that.
32:14
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you've got, you know, the good
32:16
guy. Have you seen that?
32:18
I think we could make. A cartoon out of that, that
32:21
would be a really good demo. Look, everybody has that the,
32:27
that, that voice in their head that's saying you're not good
32:30
enough or you can't do that. Or the, the one that I'm seeing
32:36
a lot of at the moment is imposter syndrome.
32:40
And it's usually it's happening to people around me who are very
32:45
good at what they do. And there's certain things that
32:49
they are being acknowledged for by their bosses or, you know,
32:54
their peers and other people. And then they suddenly go into
32:58
this thing called impostor syndrome.
33:00
In other words, they think to themselves.
33:03
And when you think about like some of the people I know it's
33:06
actually happening to, I'm like, how could you even have that?
33:10
But the best of the best of us have imposter syndrome where we
33:16
do not think we're good enough or we tell ourself we are not in
33:22
a position to achieve something. Or I could never have that life
33:27
or that wife or that money or that holiday, you know what I
33:32
mean? So we all have it.
33:35
That's the whole thing. And what's it called again?
33:37
Impost impostor syndrome. Well, impostor.
33:39
Syndrome is 1 element. And as I said, I don't don't
33:43
have all the answers to to these things.
33:46
I mean, I can answer very fluently about neuro linguistic
33:49
programming and some of the ways that we can strategize to make a
33:54
change. So for imposter syndrome, for
33:57
example, it's based on when a person doesn't really think
34:01
they're good enough or they've either, they might be in a
34:06
position of where they're doing something and they feel like
34:09
they're an impostor because they're normal, they're human
34:13
beings. And behind the scenes, just like
34:17
all of us and like you and me, they're suffering.
34:21
So they're going through their baggage, they're going through
34:25
all of the stuff that's going on in their life.
34:28
So they're saying how on earth can I be that person?
34:33
And even though I don't have all the answers here, Max, the one
34:37
thing I will say about it is if a person does have that, you've
34:43
got to ask yourself this question.
34:46
What is it that you believe about that?
34:49
So what is it that you believe? So if it is, I can't do
34:55
something like, let's just say you want to do something, you
34:57
want to achieve something. Great.
35:00
Do you have something by the way?
35:02
In this case, I don't think about that.
35:04
I think about what's stopping you from doing what's going to
35:07
make you great? What's stopping you?
35:09
What's stopping? You what is stopping you is your
35:12
beliefs. So OK, can you give me an
35:14
example? Well.
35:16
When it comes to like a, a challenge, when it comes to, you
35:22
know, let's say you have a, an opportunity to go into a massive
35:28
corporate meeting that could change your life or that you
35:32
could sign, you know, hundreds of thousands of $1,000,000
35:36
contract. And you, and you feel quite
35:39
humble. You feel a bit, it's setting you
35:41
back and not not humble, but you realise, am I good enough for
35:45
this? What's stopping you for doing
35:49
what's going to make you great so that you have that inner fear
35:52
of yourself, You have that you create some form of doubt.
35:56
Exactly. That exactly what you've you've
35:58
just nailed it. I listen to.
36:02
I've got, I've got a number of audio or because I listen to
36:05
Audible and I listen to the personal development books.
36:09
And to be honest, you know, I'm not trained as a businessman,
36:12
but I've just learned so much from the audible when it comes
36:15
to the personal development. And and it just says just
36:19
getting to that rabbit hole and do your best because what's
36:24
stopping you for what's going to make you great?
36:26
Just go for it. Yeah.
36:27
What? Is stopping you?
36:28
That is the best question a lot of people fear.
36:31
The the the fear, the fear, the the level of failure, the the
36:36
fear of set back. Just don't stop.
36:38
And you know what? It's not just the level, believe
36:42
me, I I work with people just about every day.
36:45
And that level of failure? Believe it or not, you may not,
36:50
and maybe you will when you hear it.
36:52
But the other fear is there's a fear of failing.
36:56
And Oh my gosh, what if I fail? I'm not good enough?
36:58
That's the imposter syndrome stepping in again.
37:01
But guess what? There's one that's equally as,
37:05
you know, really crippling, and that is the fear of success.
37:10
Some people fear success because they don't know whether they can
37:16
live up to it. They don't know whether they're
37:19
going to remain loved. They don't know whether people
37:22
are going to attack them, reject them.
37:25
A lot of people live in a victim mentality where they have had a
37:30
payoff because everything has a payoff, right?
37:34
Like the drinking, the payoff is, well, it's going to make me
37:37
unwind. The food, well, I deserve to eat
37:40
this food. But what they don't realise is
37:42
they might be eating themselves into obesity and diabetes or
37:47
drinking themselves into kidney failure.
37:50
And when it comes to that level of feeling like success is one
37:58
of their biggest fears, quite often it can be based upon.
38:03
But I have been operating so successfully with everybody
38:07
feeling sorry for me. And it's a subconscious thing.
38:12
So does that make sense to you? It does, yeah.
38:15
No. It it, you know, I've, I've
38:17
never experienced anyone, but you know, with your level of
38:19
experience that I'm sure you have, you have come across with
38:23
people who have the, the, the fear of success, but absolutely.
38:30
Absolutely. That's a great topic.
38:31
And and I think too in all of us, there is probably a fear of
38:37
success that even can be based on if I become really massively
38:43
successful, is that going to be too hard for me to live up to?
38:48
So a person with a lot of integrity, for example, might
38:52
start to think to themself, well, you know, if I if I hit
38:56
this, I guess you start developing.
39:00
It if you have the right PR, which is the your, your own
39:04
personal representative, I guess you, you, you do need someone to
39:10
help you out. Like let's say for example, if
39:13
you become a very successful person, let's say Elon Musk or
39:17
you know, great entrepreneur, the billionaire, the biggest
39:20
billionaire ever. And then we got Lionel Messi,
39:22
who is the greatest soccer player in the world.
39:25
These people don't work by, they've got hymnotherapist, they
39:30
have personal trainers, they've got businessmen, they've got
39:36
sponsorship, they've got management.
39:39
The all these other sources are helping these, you know they're
39:44
investing in. Themself, that's what they're
39:46
doing because. This little person is known all
39:49
over worldwide in all these people who are looking after
39:56
this individuals such as Leo Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo, all
40:00
this, you know, you see them in sponsorship, you see them in
40:03
T-shirts and you know it's and they're trained.
40:06
And do you think they're going out there?
40:09
Oh, no, in those T-shirts, they don't.
40:11
Shrinking and feeling bad. You know when, when a lot of
40:15
these people, especially sports people, so some of the famous
40:19
sports people, they will get trained by people like Anthony
40:23
Robbins. And that is because Anthony
40:26
Robbins is an absolute guru when it comes to states because NLP,
40:31
if you do a practitioner's training, the 101 thing that you
40:36
have to be taught what to do and how to do it.
40:39
And it's if it's the only thing you learn, you are winning.
40:43
And that is how to change a person's state, right?
40:47
So if a person, for example, I know Anthony Robbins, does a lot
40:51
of work with famous athletes, they do.
40:55
For myself, I did work with a famous horse racer and he was
41:00
always at the top of what he was doing.
41:03
And when he came to me, he was at the bottom.
41:07
But he came to me for depression.
41:09
But he had that hunger that he wanted to win.
41:11
And like that, that natural character of horsey people that
41:16
you know are on the horse and they're wanting to win.
41:19
I asked him the question because this is what everything comes
41:23
down to when you're on the horse.
41:25
Now what are you thinking compared to when you on the
41:30
horse and winning? How that was?
41:34
Different, that was a different thinking.
41:36
And he said, well, when I was on the horse last, I was thinking
41:40
about the horse that fell down and crashed and obviously they
41:45
had to put him down and that that horse obviously lost that
41:49
race. And I'm going, OK, so if you're
41:52
repetitively thinking about the failure of that particular race,
41:59
then that's where your brain is going.
42:01
So the whole idea of NLP is to shift them so that they can move
42:08
their mentality to the other side of think about the win.
42:12
What was that like? What did it feel like?
42:14
And you know, you did a workshop with me and we go into our
42:18
feelings. You've got to have that mental
42:20
feeling. So you talked about going into a
42:22
meeting before. So if you go into a meeting,
42:25
even if you don't know what you're going to be talking about
42:27
and it's there's a lot on the table, you've got to go in with
42:30
posture because body language is huge.
42:34
You've got to go in with that posture and you've got to go in
42:38
with that success mindset of belief, even if you disbelief
42:43
yourself. And the question you asked
42:45
before is, can our language change that?
42:50
You know, I don't have the full answer for you, but this is what
42:53
I will tell you from ANLP standpoint and that is that your
42:57
language will work only. So there is a condition and the
43:03
disclaimer is that you have to match the energy.
43:08
There's no point saying to yourself I am the best football
43:13
player, but deep down inside you're feeling like an absolute
43:17
failure, right? Because then there's an
43:20
incongruency. And that's what hypnosis and NLP
43:23
is all about. It's about bringing congruency
43:27
together so that that person can release those feelings and
43:33
negative emotions of feeling like the impostor, feeling like
43:37
they're not good enough, and bringing it together with that
43:41
language and learning how to step into it.
43:46
That's that was very good. Thank you.
43:49
Thank. You, I think we have time for
43:51
one more question and it's up on the screen there and I don't
43:56
even know whether I'll have time to finish the answer, but I'll
43:58
give it my best shot. Let's make it brief then.
44:00
What's the most remarkable transformation you ever seen in
44:04
a client? OK, so.
44:06
Now, that's a very objective question because the way I'm
44:11
sure that if I did answer you, I probably wouldn't be right.
44:15
And the reason I say that is because I don't always get to
44:20
know fully what exactly happens to that person and how their
44:25
life changes. There are some radical changes
44:29
that you will see. Like, the one that stands out is
44:32
the one my late husband always talked about.
44:34
And it was about the the man who had been a heroin addict for
44:40
most of his life and since he was 14 years old and he'd lost
44:46
his kids to the Department of Child Protection and he had to
44:52
go to court. His sister recommended him to
44:55
me. And I basically the court said
45:00
no, because I'm not medical. So they wanted him to have
45:04
medical intervention. And he said, well, look, can you
45:07
just give us a try? So Long story short, after 40
45:12
years of being an addict on heroin, he got off it.
45:18
Now, he did come in to me on the second session and he said, what
45:22
have you done to me? And I thought, well, I've done
45:24
nothing. And he said, do you even
45:26
understand the concept of, you know, some of these drugs that I
45:30
take, like speed, for example, because when you take it, it
45:34
makes you feel alive, wound up, you feel like you're, you know,
45:40
on fire. He said I absolutely hated the
45:43
experience, Long story short, and I was even on a a call to
45:49
the court to say he'd had 7 calls with me and sessions and
45:55
that man wiped out that 40 year habit.
45:59
I'm not saying he's the biggest transformation but that's the
46:02
one that has been spoken about quite a lot.
46:06
And that was a legal one as well.
46:08
And he got his kids back. Wow.
46:12
That's awesome. It is really good.
46:15
So that was really. Good.
46:16
But Max, I just want to say thank you for accepting this
46:21
offer to come in on the show. And I'd also like to put out a
46:24
call to action that if you feel that you would either like to
46:28
jump on the show and perhaps, you know, sit on the hot seat
46:33
here with me and I'm not that scary, or perhaps you'd like to
46:37
do it virtually. Why don't you give us a call, DM
46:42
me and we'll figure it out and we'll see if we can get your
46:46
questions answered. And is there any anything else
46:50
last words you'd love to say before we end the show?
46:53
No. Well.
46:54
I got to say thank you very much.
46:55
It's been a great opportunity for me to be here and thank you
46:58
for your time. And if you are watching this or
47:02
listening to this, you're pretty awesome.
47:04
So I hope you learned something. I learned something I love to
47:08
learn everyday. And thank you, Terry, for having
47:11
me here. Thank you, Mr. Malloy.
47:14
Yes. Big shout out to Aaron Malloy.
47:17
And that's all. And that's over and out from
47:20
edge. A show.
47:32
Where we have explored through this various topic, along with
47:38
all the exciting new topics that we bring every week to enhance
47:44
your personal mastery of excellence.
47:48
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So until next time, stay inspired, stay awesome, and keep
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