Latest / The Front / We kept our baby alive
Transcript
- 0:04Speaker 1: From The Australian. His what's on the front. I'm Claire Harvey.
- 0:07Speaker 1: It's Monday, January twenty. The Federal government has hit trouble
- 0:14Speaker 1: in its bid to increase tax on superannuation accounts worth
- 0:17Speaker 1: more than three million dollars. The government needs the Greens
- 0:21Speaker 1: and at least three Senate crossbenches to pass the bill,
- 0:24Speaker 1: but most of the crossbencheres have told The Australian they're
- 0:27Speaker 1: against the change. Several elite universities have refused to accept
- 0:36Speaker 1: a definition of antisemitism proposed by Holocaust survivors, prompting the
- 0:41Speaker 1: Federal Government's Envoy on antisemitism, Jillian Siegel, to say she's disappointed.
- 0:50Speaker 1: For thirty three years, Debbie and Earl Schoenberger have kept
- 0:53Speaker 1: their daughter Jess alive against all odds. Today what Debbie, Earl,
- 0:58Speaker 1: their son Ariel and order Jess can teach us all
- 1:02Speaker 1: about love? Sometimes as a journalist, there are stories you
- 1:12Speaker 1: keep coming back to in your career, stories that just
- 1:16Speaker 1: don't want to let you go. In a case of
- 1:18Speaker 1: Fiona Harari, one of our most senior and experienced writers
- 1:22Speaker 1: here at The Australian, it's Jess, a young woman who
- 1:26Speaker 1: with her family has an extraordinary story playing out in
- 1:30Speaker 1: a suburban home just like every other one. He's Fiona
- 1:35Speaker 1: reading a little of her latest story about Jess.
- 1:39Speaker 2: On her most recent birthday, Jess Schoenberger woke to the
- 1:43Speaker 2: sounds of joy in her balloon forestoon, Sydney bedroom. Her
- 1:47Speaker 2: celebration loving family gathered around her for a photo and
- 1:50Speaker 2: produced a bounty of gifts, a David Walliam's book, a
- 1:54Speaker 2: watermelon scented candle, and a robotic toy Furbie. Then they
- 1:59Speaker 2: performed a rapper of the Happy Birthday song, hoping to
- 2:02Speaker 2: disguise the original version, which Jess has never really liked.
- 2:06Speaker 2: They seem to have succeeded because Jess responded as she
- 2:08Speaker 2: usually does to moments of delight, widening her eyes, raising
- 2:12Speaker 2: her brow, and gently grinning, a reaction that elicited even
- 2:16Speaker 2: more joy from her family. There was a birthday cake two,
- 2:19Speaker 2: but Jess could not eat that, neither could she play
- 2:22Speaker 2: with her carefully selected gifts. Yet this November day was
- 2:25Speaker 2: an occasion not only of happiness, but also of wonder
- 2:28Speaker 2: and of pride, because in another time, Jess was diagnosed
- 2:32Speaker 2: with a rare and life limiting genetic condition and doctors
- 2:35Speaker 2: told her parents she would not see her third birthday. Devastated,
- 2:39Speaker 2: they set about making the rest of her life safe,
- 2:41Speaker 2: happy and warm. Encircled by love and supported by a
- 2:45Speaker 2: growing list of medical aids and medications. She reached her
- 2:48Speaker 2: first birthday having never crawled. She turned too without uttering
- 2:53Speaker 2: a word. She turned three. Each birthday was momentous, but
- 2:57Speaker 2: this one in late twenty twenty four, with a book
- 3:00Speaker 2: that she had to be read because she cannot read,
- 3:02Speaker 2: and a scented candle she could not admire, was even
- 3:05Speaker 2: more special because on this birthday, after three decades of
- 3:08Speaker 2: intensive care, just turned thirty three.
- 3:13Speaker 1: There's a picture accompanying Fiona's story, which is live now
- 3:16Speaker 1: at Beaustralian dot com dot a u slash health. It
- 3:21Speaker 1: shows Jess, who's a brunette with fair skin, lying on
- 3:25Speaker 1: her side in bed under brightly colored covers, smiling towards
- 3:30Speaker 1: the camera. Her mum, Debbie, sits on the bed close
- 3:33Speaker 1: to the camera, behind Jess's dad Earl and her brother Ariel.
- 3:38Speaker 1: They're all beaming with delight. Fiona has been doing this
- 3:44Speaker 1: for a long time and I've learned a lot from
- 3:46Speaker 1: her over the years about how to deal with contacts.
- 3:49Speaker 1: She can be tough and dispassionate, especially when she knows
- 3:53Speaker 1: the subject isn't going to like the story that she's written.
- 3:56Speaker 1: And Fiona can also be hugely empathetic and compassionate. She's
- 4:00Speaker 1: a writer in our health section, which means she's constantly
- 4:04Speaker 1: on the lookout for stories that are about the most
- 4:06Speaker 1: important subject of all, how we live, how we feel,
- 4:10Speaker 1: how we look after ourselves and one another. And Fiona
- 4:14Speaker 1: knew this family story would resonate with our audiences.
- 4:19Speaker 2: I've sort of known them vaguely over many years, lived
- 4:23Speaker 2: in the same area, we had family members who were
- 4:26Speaker 2: at similar schools, and I think, in fact, when Jess
- 4:29Speaker 2: was really young, I might have even been at a
- 4:31Speaker 2: birthday party that she was at, and by that point
- 4:34Speaker 2: already had some pronounced difficulties and was in a wheelchair.
- 4:37Speaker 2: But I think I really got to know them about
- 4:40Speaker 2: twelve years ago, when I wrote a story for another
- 4:43Speaker 2: publication about parents who were raising children who had life
- 4:48Speaker 2: limiting illnesses, so, in other words, parents raising children who
- 4:51Speaker 2: were going to die in childhood. I interviewed a number
- 4:54Speaker 2: of families for that story. I went to a children's
- 4:57Speaker 2: hospice and in fact, in the course of doing that story,
- 5:00Speaker 2: one of the children actually died during the period that
- 5:03Speaker 2: I was doing the interviews. It was an incredibly difficult
- 5:07Speaker 2: subject to tackle. But what's amazing, I think in Jess's
- 5:12Speaker 2: case over the past twelve years, is that it seems
- 5:14Speaker 2: to me that although her life is extremely difficult and contained,
- 5:21Speaker 2: and it's not probably like the life that anyone most
- 5:24Speaker 2: of us would ever come across, her story has actually
- 5:28Speaker 2: become one now, not of dying, but of living. And
- 5:31Speaker 2: I think that even as I approached her family to
- 5:35Speaker 2: do this next story now that she's thirty three, I
- 5:38Speaker 2: really didn't expect this to be such a positive story
- 5:42Speaker 2: and the warmth and optimism of this family to shine
- 5:47Speaker 2: so brightly, and that I think is really what's changed,
- 5:51Speaker 2: I think remarkably now that Jess's thirty three.
- 6:00Speaker 1: Everything they say this family is about gratitude for Jess,
- 6:05Speaker 1: about how Jess has taught them something about living and
- 6:09Speaker 1: about how to seize every day, to seize the moment.
- 6:11Speaker 1: But they're not shy about admitting that life has been tough,
- 6:15Speaker 1: are they.
- 6:15Speaker 2: Not at all? And I think that's what well. It
- 6:18Speaker 2: certainly makes it easier to interview them, and it makes
- 6:21Speaker 2: it easier to tell their story to other people. They
- 6:24Speaker 2: do have extremely restrained lives. When Jess was born, there
- 6:31Speaker 2: was no way of knowing that the parents carry this
- 6:34Speaker 2: gene that has caused her to have Canivan disease. But
- 6:37Speaker 2: by the time her brother came along, they were able
- 6:40Speaker 2: to do some testing to make sure that he wasn't
- 6:43Speaker 2: also born with it, so they're fully aware of what
- 6:47Speaker 2: they deal with. But the fact that Jess is here
- 6:51Speaker 2: at thirty three is basically testament to the fact that
- 6:54Speaker 2: her parents have been able to get together a group
- 6:57Speaker 2: of people very much steered by Debbie and Earl Jess's parents,
- 7:02Speaker 2: who are literally beside Jess around the clock. Because Jess
- 7:06Speaker 2: cannot swallow, the biggest risk to her life at thirty
- 7:10Speaker 2: three is that she might asphyxiate because she can't swallow
- 7:13Speaker 2: her salivas. So they have people with her not only constantly,
- 7:16Speaker 2: but they have to have people who have to suction
- 7:19Speaker 2: her constantly. But in between, you know, moving her and
- 7:22Speaker 2: doing all the things that they need to keep her alive,
- 7:25Speaker 2: there is so much effort put into making her life,
- 7:29Speaker 2: which is very contained, as joyous as possible, and in fact,
- 7:33Speaker 2: Earl said that his benchmark for every day is did
- 7:36Speaker 2: Jess laugh today? And pretty much every day they get
- 7:39Speaker 2: some laughter out of her. And you go into a
- 7:43Speaker 2: story like this not knowing what you'll see, not knowing
- 7:45Speaker 2: what to expect, and when you see how limited Jess
- 7:49Speaker 2: is in terms of her movements, you can see her
- 7:52Speaker 2: the expressions in her face that she does express joy,
- 7:56Speaker 2: which is a really beautiful thing. Her mum loves to,
- 7:58Speaker 2: for example, squeeze rubbish in front of her, or ring
- 8:01Speaker 2: bells or make really silly animal sounds, and you can
- 8:05Speaker 2: see from Jess's face her joy in that. So they
- 8:09Speaker 2: make it so much easier to talk about their lives
- 8:12Speaker 2: because they're so honest about it. But they yes, there
- 8:14Speaker 2: is a level of a huge level of gratitude that
- 8:16Speaker 2: I think most of us don't get to witness in
- 8:19Speaker 2: our everyday lives.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Coming up the conversation with a specialist, the family will
- 8:27Speaker 1: never forget and why they've been so determined to keep
- 8:31Speaker 1: Jess smiling. There's a moment that Debbie describes in your
- 8:46Speaker 1: story before Jess's third birthday of sitting down with a
- 8:49Speaker 1: specialist who spoke to them in a way that clearly
- 8:53Speaker 1: to Debbie and Earl sounded extremely harsh and stark. Debbie
- 8:57Speaker 1: quotes the specialist saying, you're only going to have her
- 9:00Speaker 1: till she's three. She's not going to walk, she's not
- 9:03Speaker 1: going to talk, she's not going to sit up. I
- 9:07Speaker 1: can sort of feel that this specialist might have been
- 9:10Speaker 1: trying to sort of steal the family's spine, you know,
- 9:14Speaker 1: to say this will be over soon, trying to be
- 9:16Speaker 1: kind in this kind of stark delivery of this diagnosis.
- 9:20Speaker 1: But clearly they didn't see it that way.
- 9:22Speaker 2: I think the fact that they still remember that encounter
- 9:26Speaker 2: thirty three years ago so clearly gives you some sense
- 9:29Speaker 2: of how much it's stung them and continues to.
- 9:32Speaker 1: To be fair.
- 9:33Speaker 2: There are so few cases of canneb and disease that
- 9:36Speaker 2: this doctor probably had never met anyone with it. But
- 9:39Speaker 2: they were basically delivered this information, and then the doctor
- 9:43Speaker 2: walked out of the room and said, well, Illa, you
- 9:44Speaker 2: sit here as long as you want to digest that information.
- 9:47Speaker 2: He was right in what he said. She didn't walk,
- 9:50Speaker 2: she didn't talk, she didn't eat. What is extraordinary is
- 9:53Speaker 2: that she has defied the odds by you know, thirty years.
- 9:58Speaker 2: But even so, I do under stand the hurt that
- 10:01Speaker 2: they carry from that conversation, because it is probably the
- 10:05Speaker 2: most terrible conversation a parent will ever ever hear, and
- 10:10Speaker 2: to be imparted with that information in a really clinical
- 10:13Speaker 2: way is probably not the way you would do it today.
- 10:16Speaker 1: I think it really goes to something that I think
- 10:20Speaker 1: that runs underneath this story, a current that runs underneath it,
- 10:24Speaker 1: which is I suppose an old fashioned or maybe conventional
- 10:27Speaker 1: idea that listen, your lives are going to be easier
- 10:30Speaker 1: if you just let go a little bit and let
- 10:32Speaker 1: this baby pass away, let her die, then you can
- 10:36Speaker 1: move on with your lives. They have spent more than
- 10:39Speaker 1: three decades actively preventing that from happening, immense self sacrifice.
- 10:46Speaker 1: Do you do you think that they reflect on that
- 10:49Speaker 1: choice that they've made, or for them, was it not
- 10:52Speaker 1: a choice?
- 10:53Speaker 2: Well, this is their life, Jess is their life. Keeping
- 10:56Speaker 2: Jess going, making her as comfortable and as happy as possible,
- 10:59Speaker 2: has become their life. It's interesting because after I interviewed
- 11:04Speaker 2: them twelve years ago, I would drop in sometimes to
- 11:06Speaker 2: visit them afterwards. I don't often stay in contact with
- 11:08Speaker 2: people after stories, but I felt that I wanted to
- 11:11Speaker 2: see how she was doing, and sometimes I would drive
- 11:14Speaker 2: past their area and think they're still there every day,
- 11:18Speaker 2: you know, doing these remarkable things for their daughter with
- 11:21Speaker 2: so much love. And then to be able to step
- 11:25Speaker 2: back into their home again after twelve years, and the
- 11:29Speaker 2: absolute joy that Debbie greeted me with. I interviewed her
- 11:32Speaker 2: late last year, just after gestioned thirty three, and she said, honestly,
- 11:38Speaker 2: I just want to dance. I'm so happy. This is
- 11:40Speaker 2: just the most amazing thing that our daughter is here
- 11:42Speaker 2: at thirty three. I think what this family in this
- 11:45Speaker 2: story have made me realize is that you shouldn't judge
- 11:50Speaker 2: someone by how they look or what you think the
- 11:54Speaker 2: circumstances of their life might be, because you know, love
- 11:58Speaker 2: appears in many different guys and it has some truly
- 12:03Speaker 2: remarkable outcomes. And I think this family is a testament
- 12:06Speaker 2: to you can live a different life. You cannot go
- 12:10Speaker 2: very far, but you can produce a tribe of remarkable
- 12:14Speaker 2: people with their hearts in the best places.
- 12:21Speaker 1: Fiona Harari is a senior writer with The Australian. You
- 12:24Speaker 1: can read her story and all the rest of our
- 12:26Speaker 1: journalism about health and everything else right now at The
- 12:30Speaker 1: Australian dot com dot au