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The mind of a narcissist when you hold them accountable · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what goes on inside the mind of a narcissist when you are
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  trying to hold them accountable for something that they have
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  actually done, not something that you made-up, not something
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  that is created, created out of thin air when they have actually
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  committed an offense against you.
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  What what goes going on inside of their mind?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you the perspective of a
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back. Welcome back, y'all.
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  Yes, what actually goes on inside the mind of a narcissist
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  when you are trying to hold them accountable Accountability.
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  I'm thinking about making this a series All in all by itself
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  about the mind of a narcissist. I'm I'm thinking about it.
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  I'm thinking about it. Give me give me your thoughts in
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  the comments section. The mind of a narcissist in
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  different scenarios. Should I just should this be a
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  branch of in and of itself, right?
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  Should this be its own series outside of the podcast?
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  Give me your thoughts in the comments section.
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  Y'all know I'm always jamming. I'm I'll ask my my channel
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  members as well the same thing later.
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  But yeah, y'all, the mind of a narcissist when you're trying to
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  hold them accountable. What the hell is going on inside
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  of their mind? So let's put it right here,
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  y'all. There is a lot going on inside
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  of their mind. I know some people are going to
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  be like Lee. There's nothing going on going
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  on inside of their mind. They're empty eggheads, there's
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  nothing. There's a there's a marble
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  rattling around this side of their mind.
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  That's what's going on and whatnot.
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  But this is what happens, yo. Narcissistic people, toxic
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  people absolutely have something going on inside of their minds.
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  When you're trying to hold me accountable, it's like I'm
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  processing how to defend myself, always processing on how to
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  defend myself, always thinking about how can I win in this
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  situation, Always thinking about how I can get out of this
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  situation, always thinking about how I can lie, how I can lie,
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  how I can maneuver, how I can avoid the shame.
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  And that's the big one right there, y'all.
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  The big one in this situation is the shame.
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  It really is. It really, really is.
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  The shame is absolutely huge when it comes to dealing with
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  narcissistic people. That's one of the things that
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  ends up happening. Seriously, the shame is y'all,
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  it is massive when it comes to dealing with narcissists.
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  If you're like, will you try to? And look, I know I've done it.
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  And that's the crazy thing about it is like the big, the biggest
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  thing right here, y'all, it's, it's different when they're when
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  when you're trying to hold them accountable for something that
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  they have not done. Of course, right, they haven't
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  done it. They're not going to be want to
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  be held accountable. That works for anybody.
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  But in this situation, they have done it.
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  They've actually done something that they should be held
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  accountable for and they don't want to be held accountable for
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  it. So what, what what goes on in
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  their mind? Like I feel like a bad person
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  and depending on what I've done, I am a bad person, right?
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  It doesn't always make you a bad person, right?
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  Accountability. Being held accountable for
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  something does not always mean you're being held accountable
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  for something that's going to make you a bad person.
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  It's not a question of, it's not always going to be a question of
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  morality, right? It's not always going to be a
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  question of moral standards and things like that.
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  It could be you hold me accountable for not taking the
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  trash out. Does that make me a bad person?
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  No, but in the mind of a narcissist, it does.
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  If you were bringing up something that I've done wrong
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  that you absolutely do make me feel like a like I'm a bad
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  person, like I'm the worst person on the planet.
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  And I hate it. I hate it with a raw, seething
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  passion. I don't want to feel this way.
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  Well, leeway, maybe you shouldn't have done it.
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  Yeah, exactly. I shouldn't have done it.
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  Right. I absolutely should not have
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  done it. And that's one of the reasons
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  why I feel the way that I feel, right?
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  But this is something that you have to consider.
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  This is something you have to think about right here.
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  When you're dealing with an abuser, A manipulator, A
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  manipulative, manipulative person.
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  This is what they're going to do.
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  Like I don't want to feel the shame, so I have to get rid of
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  it. I don't want to feel like a bad
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  person. Like you make me feel less than.
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  So I have to make you feel like a bad person in the in the mind
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  of a narcissist when I am doing this to you, when I am when
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  you're trying to hold me accountable, I'm trying to make
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  I'm I'm pronounced it enters enters the stage of me
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  projecting. Now I'm going to project how I
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  feel about the situation onto you.
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  I want to make you feel just as bad or equally or worse than I
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  feel right now. I have to do that.
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  That has to be something that's going on with me.
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  I have to make you feel objectively worse.
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  I have to attack you. I absolutely.
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  Yeah. This is a necessity, you know,
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  So when you're dealing with manipulators, when you're
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  dealing with abusive people, this becomes a necessity.
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  And when you're dealing with a narcissist, like they're going
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  to make they're going to do this type of stuff, right, they're
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  going to try to shake off the accountability.
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  Let me close my eyes. I already got damn it, damn it.
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  I already got my narcissist's hat on.
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  All right, let me put my narcissist's hat on y'all.
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  I I had to put my narcissist's hat on for real this time.
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  Yes, this is a red flag when you up look, when I I already know
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  I've done something bad, right? I already know I've done
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  something wrong. I'm trying to hide it.
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  I'm trying to avoid accountability at all costs.
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  I think I have all my tracks covered.
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  Whatever I've done, cheating, lying, manipulating, being
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  abused, whatever it is, right? I know I've done wrong.
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  I'm trying to hide it. I think I've got it.
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  I think I've done a good job at doing it right.
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  But when you bring it up, I automatically feel like my heart
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  drop in my stomach, my head. It's like my heart goes and is
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  not not only drops in my stomach.
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  It starts beating inside of my head, right?
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  It starts beating inside of my head.
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  I can feel my heart in my head right now.
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  Now I'm afraid now I'm thinking about look now I'm thinking
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  about all worst case scenario. I'm about to get divorced.
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  I'm about to get left. I'm about to get abandoned.
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  I got to go find new narcissistic supply is damn near
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  like my life has flashed before my eyes and I hate it.
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  I do not like this feeling. It is not a is not a good
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  feeling at all. I absolutely hate this feeling
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  with a with it, with all things considered.
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  I hate this feeling right. I really do not like this
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  feeling. I want to get rid of this
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  feeling by any means possible. So in order to get rid of this
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  feeling, what I do is now I think of way I think of I'm
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  trying to find an escape hatch. How what's the what's the
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  shortcut to making me feel better?
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  I need a shortcut to feeling better right now.
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  I need to find the shortest cut. I need to find the shortest way,
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  the quickest way to allow me to feel better.
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  I need to and I need to do it right now.
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  So now I'm starting thinking about things that you have done
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  wrong. Now I'm starting to think about
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  things how you're misconstruing things.
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  Now I'm starting to think about things of how I how I could
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  blame you for what I've done. Now I'm starting to think about
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  how I can gaslight you and convince you that you're miss
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  that. Did you misunderstanding the
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  situation or did the person who told you or however you found
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  out is not is not a dependable source of information?
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  So now I'm doing all of this. I'm thinking of all these escape
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  hatches, all these shortcuts to feeling better and whatever.
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  And sometimes they start doing multiple things, right?
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  They start doing multiple things to try to feel better.
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  They start doing multiple things to try to, to try to escape this
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  feeling. This is what ends up happening,
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  you know, So as a narcissist, this is what I keep doing.
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  This is what I'm going to keep doing because at the end of the
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  day, it does directly benefit me to do this type of stuff, right?
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  It really, really does. All right, narcissist hat off.
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  I know y'all. Like when I go into the mind of
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  narcissist, I put the narcissist hat on, but that ends up
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  happening to you, y'all? That really does end up
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  happening. It becomes a big, a big part of
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  it. And you have like, say, as a
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  survivor or thriver dealing with this.
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  Yeah. You're not inflicting pain upon
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  them. Regardless of what that
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  narcissistic person says, you are not inflicting pain upon
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  them. They're going to make you feel
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  like you're inflicting pain, right?
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  They're going to try to make you feel like you're inflicting pain
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  and suffering upon them, but you are absolutely not doing that
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  right. You're absolutely not inflicting
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  pain and or suffering on them. You're not doing that.
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  They're going to make you feel like you are a bad They're going
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  to try to make because I because they feel like a bad person.
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  They're going to try to make you feel like a bad person for
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  trying to hold them accountable. Accountability is like
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  kryptonite for a narcissist. We hate it.
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  We don't want to feel it. We don't want to be for it to be
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  a part of our of our day at all. We do not want this at all,
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  right? We cannot stand it at all.
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  So just think about this type of stuff before you try to hold
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  them accountable, right? And this is what this is how no,
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  look, don't take that as me telling you not to hold them
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  accountable. This always think of ways.
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  Just think of this is how you stay ahead of them.
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  I just did a video about all smarter than them.
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  This is how you stay ahead of them.
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  You already know what they're going to do when you try to hold
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  them accountable. You already know it.
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  You know they're going to lie, you know they're going to
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  obfuscate, you know they're going to make shit up.
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  You know they're going to do this type of stuff.
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  But at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is you
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  and how you deal with things and how you handle the situation.
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  You know you, you know this. But again, before you hold them
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  accountable, always think about what they can, what they can do,
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  because sometimes we try to hold them accountable when none of
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  the ways, the ways I described, if none of that works, some of
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  them might become physically abusive towards you or some of
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  them might try to make you seem like you're becoming physically
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  abusive towards them. They'll try to make it seem like
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  they're afraid of you. Oh my God, you going to hurt me?
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  Are you going to hurt me because I did this?
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  Are you going to put your hands on me again?
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  Help, help. They'll try to make it seem like
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  you about to take their life or something based on this right
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  here. They're trying to make it sound
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  like you're trying to hurt them or harm them based on this
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  situation right here. So you have to, yeah, you
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  absolutely need to be careful when you're dealing with a
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  manipulative, abusive person. You absolutely do.
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  That's something you have to consider.
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  That's something you have to think about right there.
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  Otherwise, they're going to keep messing with you.
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  Otherwise they're going to keep lying to you.
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  Otherwise they're going to keep doing all this kind of toxic ass
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  stuff to you. And it does not get better over
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  time. It just does not, y'all.
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  It really doesn't, you know what I mean?
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  But anyway, y'all think y'all have a ride with me to the end
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  of this video again, all things mental illness, all things Lee
• 11:25
  Hammock can be found at mentalillness.net.
• 11:29
  Again, my longer podcast is launching here pretty soon.
• 11:32
  Link is going to be in the comments.
• 11:33
  Link is link is in the description to apply to be on
• 11:35
  the podcast virtual and in person.
• 11:38
  I have it in person set up here. I'm getting things set up to be
• 11:41
  in person and whatnot here pretty soon.
• 11:43
  Be safe, take care of yourself and as always y'all, as always
• 11:46
  mental illness. Peace what up y'all, what up?
• 11:49
  Before you leave make sure to hit that subscribe button if you
• 11:51
  haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 11:53
  people. Also everything I have is
• 11:55
  available at mentalillness.net, my coaching, my courses.
• 11:59
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• 12:01
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• 12:04
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• 12:07
  y'all and I will see y'all later.
• 12:08
  Peace.