Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You are a Mid-Career Professional
Transcript
- Lucas: You know, when we talk about mentorship on this show, the advice is usually aimed at early-career professionals. But I keep hearing from listeners in their late thirties, forties, even fifties, who say, 'I feel like I'm supposed to have this figured out, but I don't.' Luna: Yeah, there's almost a stigma around needing a mentor once you have a senior title. Like you're admitting you don't know what you're doing. Lucas: Exactly. And that's dangerous, because the mid-career phase is often when you need guidance the most. You're navigating organizational politics, managing teams, possibly contemplating a pivot. The stakes are higher, and the margin for error is smaller. Luna: So what's different about finding a mentor at mid-career versus at entry level? Lucas: Well, for starters, the typical advice to 'find someone more senior' doesn't always work because there aren't that many people above you. And the ones who are there are incredibly busy. So you have to look sideways or even downwards. Luna: Sideways meaning peer mentoring, and downwards meaning reverse mentoring, where you learn from someone younger. Lucas: Right. Let me give you a real example. A couple of years ago, I spoke with a marketing director named Sarah. She was 45, had spent 20 years at a consumer goods company, and wanted to move into tech. She knew her marketing skills were transferable, but she didn't speak the language of tech — no knowledge of growth hacking, product-led growth, or even how to structure a SaaS funnel. Luna: That's a classic gap. She needed industry-specific fluency, not general career advice. Lucas: Exactly. A senior mentor in her own company couldn't help with that. So she found a peer mentor — a product manager at a mid-stage startup who was about her age but had been in tech for a decade. They met monthly for six months. She asked him to explain the jargon, introduced her to a few founders, and gave her honest feedback on her resume. That relationship was what got her the job. Luna: And the key there is that she framed the ask not as 'please mentor me' but as 'I'd love to trade insights over coffee.' She offered him something in return. Lucas: That's a huge point. When you're mid-career, you have a lot to offer. Sarah gave her peer mentor free feedback on his go to market strategy. So it was a reciprocal arrangement, not a one-way drain. Luna: And that reciprocity makes the relationship more sustainable. It's not just about extracting value. Lucas: I think that's something we don't talk about enough. There's this idea that a mentor is a generous giver and you're a grateful receiver. But at mid-career, you can be both. I know a senior finance executive who mentors a junior data scientist on organizational navigation, and in exchange, the data scientist teaches him Python. They both grow. Luna: That's a great example of reverse mentoring. And it's especially powerful when you're trying to stay current with technology or generational trends. Lucas: Another overlooked source for mid-career professionals is an external advisory board. Some executives sit on each other's informal boards — three or four peers from different companies who meet quarterly to discuss challenges. No one is senior to anyone else. It's a safe space to say 'I'm stuck' without career risk. Luna: I love that. It's like a built-in mentor panel. And you can find those through industry associations, or even by reaching out to someone you admire and suggesting the idea. Lucas: The key is to be specific about what you're looking for. A general 'will you be my mentor?' is a heavy ask. But 'I'm trying to understand how to lead a remote team effectively, and I've seen you do that well — would you be open to a 30-minute conversation?' That's targeted and respectful of their time. Luna: And it lets them say yes without committing to a long-term relationship. If it works, you can build on it. Lucas: I think that's where a lot of mid-career professionals stumble. They think they need to find one Yoda who will take them under their wing. But actually, you're better off with a constellation of mentors — a half dozen people you consult for specific things. One for technical skills, one for political savvy, one for work-life balance. Luna: That takes the pressure off any single person. And it acknowledges that no one has all the answers. Lucas: Right. And if we're being honest, a lot of mid-career professionals also struggle with ego. You've been successful. You've been the expert. It's hard to sit in the learner's seat again. But the most impressive leaders I know are the ones who are constantly asking questions. Luna: I think that's actually one of the reasons podcasts like this one are so valuable. They give you a way to learn without having to admit you don't know something in front of your colleagues. Lucas: That's a really good point — and it's part of why we deliberately keep this show ad-free. If you've ever gotten useful career advice from us, and you want to support that kind of accessible learning, there's a link at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep the conversation going without commercials. Luna: Yeah, it's nice to know that what you hear is what we actually think, not something we're paid to say. And it keeps the show focused on what matters. Lucas: So back to the mid-career challenge. Another tactic I recommend is to look for mentors outside your organization entirely. Former bosses, professors, even people you've met at conferences. They have no political skin in the game, so they can be brutally honest. Luna: And they often have a broader perspective because they see multiple companies and industries. Lucas: I had a client who was a VP of engineering at a large bank. He wanted to move to a fintech startup. His internal mentors all said, 'You're crazy, you have a golden handcuffs situation.' But an old mentor from grad school, who ran a startup, told him the truth: 'You'll take a pay cut, but you'll learn ten times faster and have more equity upside.' That external perspective was what he needed. Luna: And how did he actually approach that old mentor? Was it awkward after so many years? Lucas: It doesn't have to be. He just sent a short email: 'I'm thinking about a big career move and would value your perspective. Would you have 20 minutes next week?' People are usually flattered to be asked. The worst that happens is they say no. Luna: And if they say no, you haven't lost anything. You can move on to the next person. Lucas: One thing I want to emphasize is that timing matters. Don't wait until you're desperate. Build these relationships when you don't need anything. Reach out to someone whose work you admire and just say, 'I'd love to follow your career and maybe chat once a quarter.' That way, when a crisis hits, you already have a relationship. Luna: That's like a career insurance policy. And it's much easier to ask for advice than for a rescue. Lucas: Exactly. Let me give you a concrete structure. If you're mid-career and want to build a mentoring network, here's a three-step plan. First, identify five areas where you need growth. Could be technical, leadership, industry knowledge, networking, work-life balance. Second, for each area, name one person who excels at that — a peer, a junior, someone outside your company. Third, reach out with a specific, time-boxed request. Luna: And what about sponsors? Should a mid-career professional focus on mentors or sponsors? Lucas: Sponsors are different. A mentor gives advice; a sponsor puts their reputation on the line to advocate for you — for a promotion, a stretch assignment, a seat at the table. At mid-career, sponsors are often more important than mentors. But you earn a sponsor by delivering results. So the two are complementary. Luna: Right. A mentor helps you get better; a sponsor helps you get ahead. Lucas: I think the bottom line is this: the moment you think you're too senior for mentorship is the moment your career plateaus. The best leaders I know are perpetual learners. They have coaches, they have peer groups, they have junior people they learn from. They don't see it as a weakness. Luna: I think that's a great note to end on. If you're mid-career and feeling stuck, the solution might be right in front of you — just not in the form you expected. Lucas: Exactly. So take a look at your network. Who could you learn from today? And if you have a story about a mid-career mentor that worked, we'd love to hear it. That's all for this episode.