Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 241 - Are we allowed to disagree anymore?

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 241 - Are we allowed to disagree anymore? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about are we allowed to disagree
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  anymore? I think this is a very
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  interesting subject given the time of the year we are in as
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  well as I mean it doesn't matter if it you're talking politics,
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  public stuff, just in general in your personal life.
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  Are we allowed to disagree anymore and still be OK with
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  each other? And so some interesting things
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  are available to us. Let's just put it that way when
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  we start to get into this subject because so many people
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  feel as though we cannot be friends.
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  We cannot, you know, know each other if we completely disagree,
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  if our politics are different, if our spiritual beliefs are
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  different. Recently I had to take do a
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  questionnaire, take a survey. And on it there were lots of
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  questions about this. And this is what got me thinking
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  about it. So it was almost as if the
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  questionnaire was geared towards recognizing that the people
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  taking it were not able to work together personally or
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  professionally because they actually disagreed so much.
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  And I take an absolutely opposite stance to this.
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  I I believe that when you have people that disagree with you,
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  there's gifts in that, not just small ones, but possibly big
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  ones, because they force you to look at things differently.
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  And then you have to decide, well, have I been wrong all
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  along? Have I been marginally correct?
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  How is there space for all of us to agree to disagree?
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  And that phrase agree to disagree is something that I
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  grew up with because my parents were very different people and
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  they loved each other, but they agreed to disagree.
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  And there was no ambiguity in that on many things.
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  You know, my mother was very oriented to go to church all the
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  time. My dad was not oriented for
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  that. He had grown up in a house where
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  he was taken to church, but he didn't.
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  He just didn't like the church, the process.
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  He wouldn't talk about it. Who knows what it was because it
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  happened so long ago. And he's passed away many, many
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  years ago, so I can't go back and ask him.
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  But what I do know is they agreed to disagree.
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  He didn't care if she took me. He didn't care if my grandmother
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  took me. It was more of a, OK, that's
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  fine. I don't, I don't agree with you,
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  but you do what you, you need to do.
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  And that was across the board. My mother didn't agree with
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  certain things that I did, but she was like, fine, you do that.
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  And I think we have forgotten that.
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  That's an important aspect. Now there, I'll be the first one
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  to admit there are many things that I do not agree in the same
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  space with my husband. He likes to watch certain things
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  that I absolutely do not entertain in my headspace.
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  You know, it's just anything political.
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  Just drives me insane because everything is a spin in my head.
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  You know, you can tell somebody, you can give somebody
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  percentages and make things look a certain way, but you don't
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  really know hard numbers. You don't know certain things.
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  And the spins always bother me. So I'm just like, Nope, I'm out
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  because I don't feel like I'm given all of the information.
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  So he loves to hear all that stuff.
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  I just don't. And I think that's the case in a
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  lot of couples. However, those couples are
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  made-up. There's one person that wants
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  more information and there's one person that wants less
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  information. And often times it causes
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  issues. But here's the thing, if we all
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  agree to disagree and we make space for each other, then does
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  it really make a difference? It only makes a difference when
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  it crosses a line and starts impeding upon the other person.
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  So in other words, if I took my situation with him watching
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  political things and he decided to watch those in common space
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  where I had to hear them, then that would be no good for me.
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  I would be like very, very resistant to that and I would
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  push back big time because it takes up.
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  But if it doesn't, does it matter if he puts a headset on
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  and he just goes ahead and puts a headset on?
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  Doesn't make a difference, does it?
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  O OK, he can do that and I don't have a problem and I say that
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  you want to watch it fine just put a headset on South.
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  I don't have to hear it and it limits the exposure.
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  O my point is when we make a decision to say we agree to
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  disagree or we go at something like that, we're saying, I'm
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  making space for you to believe what you believe as well.
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  And it's not just about going along to get along and somebody
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  acquiescing. It's about having real
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  agreements on boundaries and saying, OK, this is how we're
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  going to do it. But we also know we're not
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  trying to change the other person in the process.
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  It's just not going to happen and we're not going to do it.
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  We're not going to change the other person in the process.
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  All we're going to do is let it go and move on.
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  Does that make sense? Because when you do that, all of
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  a sudden everything changes. So hopefully this is helpful, my
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  friends. And I hope you have a blessed
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  day and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.