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Why are narcissists so sensitive? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time to see my
• 0:12
  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:16
  narcissist. You know?
• 0:17
  Use my platform on social media to raise awareness for NPD.
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  Get more people into therapy like myself.
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  Six years in therapy y'all. And also validate the victims,
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  survivors and thrivers of said disorder.
• 0:27
  Said Toxic people, said Toxic Traits.
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  Today's episode, it's going to be about why are narcissists so
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  sensitive, bro. Whoo y'all know how to go off
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  with this episode bro. Before you hop into today's
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  sensitive topic, make sure you go on Amazon and check out the
• 0:46
  self love journal My self love journal.
• 0:49
  Lee Hammock. I am I love me a self love
• 0:51
  journal. Also subscribe to my newsletter.
• 0:54
  I have a kids book coming out if you want to be the first people
• 0:56
  to take a look at it. I'm going to put on my
• 0:58
  newsletter links in the description.
• 0:59
  Every single video and podcast that I do.
• 1:01
  We have a kids book coming out. Y'all me and my wife, coauthor
• 1:04
  the kids book. It's going to be amazing.
• 1:05
  It's going to be good. But yeah, it is good.
• 1:08
  It's done. But why are narcissists so
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  sensitive? Y'all it is.
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  This is a sensitive topic because like narcissistic
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  people, y'all are extremely fragile people.
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  Even the selfaware ones. I promise you y'all.
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  Even the selfaware narcissists you see out there, a lot of us
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  are still extremely sensitive. The narcissistic person out of
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  disorder doesn't go away. It just, it just doesn't.
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  Y'all when I say it, when I mean it doesn't go away.
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  We're still narcissists at the end of the day.
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  Even the selfaware narcissists are still narcissists in
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  anything that, if we feel like its criticism, hurts us.
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  So why are narcissists so sensitive?
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  Because when we perceive something as an attack, when we
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  perceive something as we've done something wrong, when we when
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  shame invades our inside, when shame invades us, it makes us
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  feel like bad people. It makes us feel like like bad
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  people. It just does.
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  When we are shamed, it makes us feel like bad people.
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  That's why any like I tell this to people all the time.
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  When you're doing with a narcissist, there is no such
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  thing, no such thing as constructive criticism.
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  There is not. It's all criticism because a lot
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  of narcissistic people have these super inflated, same, but
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  simultaneously fragile as egos. Y'all.
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  You think narcissistic people are made of stone, but we're
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  really made of plate glass. Like the thinnest glass
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  possible. Like a little a little Pebble
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  can, you know, a little Pebble of criticism can crack the glass
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  of this narcissistic person that you're dealing with and this
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  just the way it is. Y'all it is.
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  It's hard to work on that, but narcissistic people perceive
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  every damn y'all it is. Wow.
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  Everything is perceived as a personal attack.
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  Even if you're trying to help me, I think you're attacking me
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  because you don't think I'm good enough to do it by myself.
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  I'm so sensitive because I don't want to be perceived as a bad
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  person. Most narcissists don't want to
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  be perceived as bad people. Some of them don't care.
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  Some narcissists don't care. They play the role very well,
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  just like I don't care at all. You can perceive me as a bad
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  person. Supply is supply.
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  What validation is validation You attention is attention.
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  I don't care how I get it. I get it.
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  You get some narcissistic people that are like that.
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  But most narcissists, y'all like, literally don't.
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  Like, I'm just telling you, I care how I get.
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  I care how I get my validation. I care because could that be
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  because I've been working on myself for six years?
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  Well, I've actually been working myself for more than six years.
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  Y'all. I've been working myself for
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  over almost 20 years. I've been working my mental
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  health for almost 20 years. But my personal development
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  journey started almost 20 years ago.
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  So that's that right there. So.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, y'all you
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  can't. It's hard to even try to help
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  them and give them advice. Like really?
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  How do we give them advice without them feeling like we
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  hurt their feelings? Or rather than feeling so
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  sensitive and on edge and ready to attack?
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  Yeah, you have to make it seem like it's their advice.
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  You have to make it sound like they came up with the idea.
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  You have to make it. You have to approach it with kid
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  gloves. With kid gloves like you you
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  have. Imagine approaching your 38 year
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  old six with three £245 partner and having to approach them
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  silently and quietly to just so they wouldn't if you wouldn't
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  hurt their feelings by trying to assist them or trying to give
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  them good advice. You see what I'm saying?
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  How asinine is that? That sounds crazy, doesn't it?
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  But a lot of people do that on a daily basis.
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  When you're dealing with a narcissistic person, it's just
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  like you feel like you feel the need to do this type of stuff
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  right here. Y'all and it can stifle you so
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  much it can literally stifle you.
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  So I'm telling people all the time, when you're dealing with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person, y'all, you have to watch what
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  you say. Because narcissistic people, and
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  this is my perspective right here on this.
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  Y'all narcissism, NPD, narcissism, high narcissistic
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  traits, whatever you want to say are really defense mechanism.
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  It really is. We are always in on self-defense
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  mode, ready to defend ourselves at a moment's notice.
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  Ready to, you know, ready to attack at a moment's notice.
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  Ready to do something, anything and everything at a moment's
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  notice. That's how it's been, y'all.
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  That's how our mind goes. That's how the mind of a lot of
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  narcissistic people work like we we are ready to attack, ready to
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  do this, ready to do that. We always on the defensive.
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  That's why you see a narcissistic person, y'all like
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  they are ready to attack you. Always ready to attack, always
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  ready to go for, always. Ready to just jump on, Just jump
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  on your ass because you you gave them some good advice, Matt.
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  Yeah, it's hard to give them good advice without being
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  without us proceeding. We don't want to be perceived as
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  bad people. At the end of the day, I don't
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  want you to look at me like a bad person.
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  I just don't. I don't want to be perceived as
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  a bad person. I don't want you to look at me
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  as a bad person. I just look, I don't want you
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  looking at the bad person. I just want to be viewed as a
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  good person. Because when a narcissist feels
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  like we are bad person, it attacks the inner child.
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  It's really is the inner child. Y'all coming home to roost,
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  trying to the inner child is trying to live through the adult
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  version. So when we've like as a kid, you
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  know, you got punished as a kid, used to feel horrible about
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  yourself. That version of the narcissist
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  still exists. That version of the narcissist
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  is the it's probably the one of the main versions that exists
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  right now. It just is just the way it goes.
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  I know people just like, well, like how do we make them grow
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  up? I wish they there.
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  I wish the narcissists and her child would just grow up.
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  Yeah, yeah, me too. Always My inner child would grow
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  up, but it's always hyper defensive.
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  It's always hyper protective of myself.
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  The adult version of me isn't super hyper protective.
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  The adult version of me is trying to live my life because I
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  know I have to get out here in the world to make ends meet, to
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  do things like that. But the end of child version of
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  me is out here trying to defend myself because I couldn't defend
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  myself as a kid. I'm using my adult self as
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  defense. You see what I'm saying?
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  That happens a lot. Y'all.
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  It happens so much when you're dealing with narcissistic
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  people. That's why I just trying to tell
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  so many. I try to tell so many of y'all.
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  When you're dealing with the Narciss, you have to you have to
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  approach them quietly, like quietly and softly, as to not
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  hurt their feeling. Yeah, it is.
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  Wow. Narcissists are so sensitive
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  because we just can't. Yeah, we can't.
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  Everything is perceived as a personal attack, and personal
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  attacks make us feel like we're bad people.
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  Personal attacks open up us, open us up to shame This y'all,
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  y'all. Know what I call it?
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  I call it the shame monster, because shame is a monstrous
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  entity that lives within narcissistic people, lives
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  within our minds, lives within our bodies at all times.
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  Shame is a monster. It just is.
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  That's why I call it the shame monster.
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  I myself have personified shame. Shame is a person to me, but the
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  most narcissists. Shame is this large dark entity
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  within ourselves that makes us feel horrible.
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  The shame is what makes us feel like bad people.
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  Y'all, narcissist want to avoid shame at all costs, because
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  shame makes us feel like bad people.
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  So when we take something as a personal attack, you make us,
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  you make it. You break into shame.
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  You make us feel like bad people.
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  And like I said, no, narcissist wants to feel like a bad person.
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  They want to. They just I'm, I'm a bad person.
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  I'm a bad person. We're telling this to ourselves.
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  Like the shame is telling us the shame inside a narcissist's mind
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  is like a little voice inside of heads telling us that we are bad
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  people. Telling us that we're not good
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  enough. Telling us all kinds of
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  negativity and, you know, shading, all kind, you know,
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  putting all types of negativity within our heads, within our
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  minds and things like that. Shame is feed.
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  Yeah, shame is feeding this. Shame is feeding this to us.
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  It just is. It's feeding us this stuff like
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  it, you know, like a dead end type of stuff.
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  Shame is feet. Shame is making.
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  Shame is eating this up. It is.
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  And when you feed like you feed shame the Narcis like you, you
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  you feed the shame of a narcissistic person.
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  You know you do. I'm just telling you guys like,
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  no, Lee, we don't. We don't feed this.
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  How How am I feeding in the shame?
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  When a narcissist perceives you as do it as a personal attack or
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  you making it, it's not just always a personal attack.
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  You make us feel like we're not good enough, which also is
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  perceived as personal attack. So I'll take that back.
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  You make us feel like we're not good enough.
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  You try to help us out. You are and this is.
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  I know this is very difficult come dealing with as an
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  empathetic person what you might be a super you might be an
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  extremely empathetic person, kind, caring, compassionate
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  person. It's hard for you to deal with
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  somebody like this because they turn your empathy against you.
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  You try to be nice to them. They attack you because they
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  feel like your niceness is, you know, you're pitying us and your
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  niceness is an attack on us. But Lee, how do we stop that?
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  How do I stop that from happening?
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  I don't want to feel like. I don't want to make them feel
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  like I'm attacking them. No, there's not much you can do
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  in that situation. I'm just being realistic.
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  There's not much you can do in that situation to make that
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  narcissistic person feel like you're not personally attacking
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  them. It's just they're just not, you
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  know, so many people just like, well, Lee, I don't.
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  I want to help. I want to help them out.
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  I just how do we make it? How do we make it so we can help
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  them in a nice way and they don't feel like we're attacking
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  them? Like we feel like we.
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  I want to be. I want a partner.
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  I want a partner. Yeah.
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  Narcissist think that we want partners.
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  A lot of us feel like we want partners, but we don't really
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  want partners. We want people that we can tell
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  what we want, people that we can tell what to do.
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  We want people that we feel like we can control.
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  We want people that we feel like we can, you know, not
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  necessarily take advantage of, but people that we feel like we
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  that we are above anyway. We don't do.
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  Very rarely do you want to do you see a narcissistic person
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  that is actively searching for a partner?
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  Just like I want to partner out here.
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  I want to partner in this. I want to, I want to partner in
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  crime. Very rarely do you see them
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  actively searching for something like that.
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  Y'all. So you have to be very, very
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  weary. Yeah.
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  But like I said you have to make it seem like it's coming from
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  you. You have to make it seem like
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  it's their idea. Which is like to say it's it's a
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  very that can be a very stressful way to live.
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  Y'all to make seem like your good ideas, makes it seem like
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  seem like it's coming from them just to not make them explode on
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  you. Get angry at you like you're
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  walking on egg shells consistently and all you want to
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  do is help. All you want to do is be
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  compassionate. And our statistic person is also
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  walking on egg shells. We're walking on egg shells in
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  our own mind like we put like, yeah, we we are cracking the
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  eggs and throwing them on the floor and then walking over
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  them. We're doing that barefoot, you
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  know? And it is not just regular eggs.
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  These are those big ass ostrich eggs, you know, And the ostrich
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  eggs have those them, them, they're super sharp.
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  Have the Super sharp eggs like the Super super sharp, super
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  sharp edges. You know what I mean.
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  And so that happens. So much y'all.
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  So if you deal with the narcissistic person, y'all just
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  be aware you have a you have a sensitive narcissistic person
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  with a fracture ego and they're always on edge.
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  Super defense mode. Don't want to feel like bad
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  people, don't want to feel like they need help.
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  Just just try to be hyperindependent.
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  Y'all just try to be super hyperindependent but also
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  simultaneously needing people at the same time just to feel
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  validated. This is it is wild y'all.
• 11:23
  Anyways, y'all kind of rambled on long enough like and
• 11:26
  subscribe for more. It's always the illness is out
• 11:29
  peace. Thank you so much for being
• 11:32
  here. Y'all thank you for watching my
• 11:33
  video to the end. I'm super eternally grateful for
• 11:36
  every single one of you. If you haven't already, make
• 11:39
  sure that you subscribe to the channel so we can help reach
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  more people, help more people and things like that.
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  available as well. Links in the description of
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  every video I do if you haven't already as well.
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  Looking to join in the channel memberships before behind the
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• 12:00
  being here. See you next time.