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Transcript

Golden Shower · F*ck Off Fridays

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Fuck Off Friday.
0:01
SPEAKER_01: It's with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: She's back.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: She's in your ears.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: She's back.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: She's back.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: She's back.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: So grab a beverage, sit down, and off we go.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: So here she is, ladies and gents, episode 18.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: She's back.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: Fresh off the plane.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: She landed at 6am this morning.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: Fucking hot.
0:29
unknown: Yeah.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Fucking hot.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: We've dragged her into the studio.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: Tell us everything.
0:35
SPEAKER_03: Where do I start?
0:36
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
0:36
SPEAKER_03: I've got quite a few bits to cover here, so we'll try.
0:38
SPEAKER_03: Wow, wow, wow.
0:39
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
0:39
SPEAKER_03: So we started in Cape Town.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: Weirdest thing happened.
0:42
SPEAKER_03: So day one, we arrived, and the Springbox playing the all backs, rugby.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: Top tier.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: And um we tried to get tickets, couldn't get tickets, they're all sold out fine.
0:50
SPEAKER_03: So we went to a bar in the waterfront.
0:52
SPEAKER_03: The vibes were high.
0:53
SPEAKER_03: I thought the Welsh were passionate about rugby.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: No.
0:55
SPEAKER_03: Fuck me, the Springbox, a whole other level.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:58
SPEAKER_03: Like anytime they did anything, everyone was whooping and cheering and just mad for it.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: See of green and gold.
1:03
SPEAKER_03: It was banging.
1:04
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so go to the bar to order a pint, and this will blow your mind.
1:07
SPEAKER_03: So two like a beer and a savannah cider was the equivalent of like four pounds.
1:14
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, this is this is unreal.
1:16
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: This is unreal.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so stood like a king.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: Great.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: So I'm stood at the bar, and then I turned to my right, and there's this guy waiting.
1:24
SPEAKER_03: We were just having a chat.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: Turns out he's from England.
1:27
SPEAKER_03: Right?
1:27
SPEAKER_03: So we see this is so this is day one.
1:30
SPEAKER_03: I see him on day one at the at the bar.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: And he's like, Oh yeah, I'm having my holiday, yada yada yada.
1:35
SPEAKER_03: It was so noisy in there, I didn't really catch much more of it.
1:37
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, day two, we're up Table Mountain.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: I see him again.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: Same bloke.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: So weird.
1:42
SPEAKER_03: There with his, I'm guessing, newlywed wife, I think.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: That is the vibe I got.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: So I see him on day two.
1:47
SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, this is weird.
1:48
SPEAKER_03: Day three rocks around.
1:50
SPEAKER_03: Where do I see him?
1:51
SPEAKER_03: In the wine lands, which is like an hour and a half's drive away from Cape Town.
1:54
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, has this guy got the same schedule as us?
1:56
SPEAKER_03: It's fucking weird, right?
1:57
SPEAKER_03: He's on the same wine tram as us.
1:59
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, this is so bizarre.
2:01
SPEAKER_03: And then try to think we're both day four.
2:03
SPEAKER_03: We're then in Camps Bay, right?
2:05
SPEAKER_03: So it's just like the other side of Table Mountain.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:08
SPEAKER_03: And we're literally having sundown as drinks.
2:12
SPEAKER_03: He appears again with his new with his new wife.
2:15
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, has has this guy literally gone to James Howell at the flight centre?
2:20
SPEAKER_03: Shout out, what a guy.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: And has asked for exactly the same itinerary as us.
2:24
SPEAKER_03: And then I think day five, we then flew to Gonsafari, and I think we were at the airport, and Charlie literally went, Is that your boy Gabe?
2:31
SPEAKER_03: His name was Gabriel.
2:32
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, No, I don't think it is, but there was like a near miss.
2:35
SPEAKER_01: But it was so weird that just wherever we went, this guy just kept appearing.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: Have you not had that before?
2:42
SPEAKER_01: Like when you go to the airport, I've had it a few times.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: When you go to the airport and you're behind someone in security or you're at the same bar as them or something, and then there's you're on they're on the same flight and there's you see them everywhere.
2:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm like, it's more like weird like you go into like Barbados, I'd get that.
2:57
SPEAKER_03: But like Cape Town's a big place.
2:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:58
SPEAKER_03: And like to have be in the same place pretty much every single day.
3:01
SPEAKER_03: And like I said, it was like an hour and a half drive out of the city.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is weird.
3:05
SPEAKER_03: Up to the wineland.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: And on the same day, like they could have done it on a different day.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: Weird.
3:09
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
3:09
SPEAKER_03: Spooky.
3:10
SPEAKER_03: Spooky.
3:11
SPEAKER_03: Spooky, spooky.
3:12
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, so we did that first.
3:13
SPEAKER_03: So met my boy Gabe in Cape Town, what a guy.
3:15
SPEAKER_03: Then we then went on safari.
3:17
SPEAKER_03: Um, which was tippity top.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: So just shout out to the guys at Ants African Safaris.
3:23
SPEAKER_03: I see you.
3:24
SPEAKER_03: Uh they were great.
3:25
SPEAKER_03: So lots of people, obviously, I've been on a couple of horse riding safaris before, and lots of people are like, oh my god, what do you do about lions?
3:31
SPEAKER_03: Like, aren't you worried you're gonna get eaten?
3:32
SPEAKER_03: You're kind of like, nah, in the minute, you like in the moment you're like aware, but you're sort of too excited about seeing everything.
3:38
SPEAKER_03: But for anybody who is scared of being eaten by a lion, because it's unrealistic that happens.
3:44
SPEAKER_03: I just wouldn't care, but okay.
3:45
SPEAKER_03: No, but if anybody's worried about that, or anybody that's not um like an experienced rider, so I've had loads of people comment on social media posts being like, Oh, could you know, could I go?
3:53
SPEAKER_03: I you know, can barely canter, and I'm like, nah, ants is perfect, they cater to complete beginners, so you could go on Safari and just walk.
4:00
SPEAKER_03: So, because they have no predators on the reserve, all of the horses get turned out with like you literally finish your ride, you take the tackle off, and that's it, they go into the bush.
4:10
SPEAKER_03: What it's honestly, I knew I knew about it, but watching it, I was like, what the fuck's happening?
4:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, but so they graze it's mads, they graze alongside like the zebra and the impala and the giraffe and the rhinos.
4:21
SPEAKER_03: That's fucking cool.
4:22
SPEAKER_03: It's amazing.
4:23
SPEAKER_03: So when you're then on them, the giraffe, like, yeah, go on.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: That you could be as close as you and I, yeah, because they're mates, they're pals.
4:30
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:32
SPEAKER_03: Imagine if you showed our horses that they'd be like, what the fuck?
4:34
SPEAKER_01: Lose their mind.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: What is this long thing?
4:36
SPEAKER_01: He's got a long neck.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: The only time I thought, well, I tell you, I bet she wishes she was on a horse now, was when your boyfriend sent me that photo of your flat tire.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh god, I thought, I bet she wishes she was on a horse now.
4:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so obviously, where we were doing most all of our riding, no predators, fine.
4:55
SPEAKER_03: Like the most dangerous thing there is like a Cape Buffalo.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: But we paid to go and do a big five drive.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: We're literally cruising along, and then our guide, Harry, was like, something doesn't feel right with a Jeep.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, obviously, at this point, you're in line territory, right?
5:07
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Don't fuck me, Harry.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: So he pulls over and he goes, No, I've got a flat tire.
5:12
SPEAKER_03: So then, literally, whilst you're in the middle of the bush, he's there, like changing his tires.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: We stood there and it was quite open, so you could see quite a lot.
5:18
SPEAKER_03: And I just stopped and listened, and I was like, and we'd just come from seeing the two lionesses, but there's like six lines on the reserve, so I was like, Cool, where are the other four?
5:26
SPEAKER_03: And we were stood there, and I was like, I can hear.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: So I was like, That sounds like a male lion, like marking their territory, it's quite distinctive.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Cool, don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone, but look at panic mode.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: I was like, uh, so yeah, that was hairy, but here I am.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: She made it, and you sent me that cool video.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: Where were you?
5:46
SPEAKER_01: There was lionesses, I think.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: It was in the evening, yes.
5:50
SPEAKER_03: We went back, so it was the same game drive.
5:52
SPEAKER_03: We went back when it was dark, and um, yeah, they were the two of them sat there just calling, I guess, to the rest of the pride.
5:59
SPEAKER_03: Unreal, spectacular.
6:01
SPEAKER_03: For anyone who's like never been on a safari, I I know it's not everyone's saying, I love Mother Nature.
6:07
SPEAKER_03: Um, it is so my vibe, it's like my happy place.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: And one thing I will say is shout out to Lucy Kernan because she messaged me this morning saying, You are excited to see Charlie.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: Charlie's probably not excited to come home.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: Good luck dealing with that.
6:23
SPEAKER_03: She's gonna be miserable as fuck.
6:24
SPEAKER_03: No, do you know what?
6:25
SPEAKER_03: The first far I went on, we went to Botswana, I had big time Botswana Blues and I was depressed for like a few weeks.
6:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was devastated to be home.
6:32
SPEAKER_03: I get that.
6:33
SPEAKER_03: I had a really nice time this time, and it was nice doing like split bits.
6:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm taking the buoy.
6:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and he was cantering, he was having a great time.
6:40
SPEAKER_03: So that just shows for anyone that really is a beginner, like you you can go and have a jolly old time.
6:44
SPEAKER_03: Legs, balls, all intact.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: He had no saddle saw, no chafing.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, I think the first couple of canters he maybe didn't stand up out of his saddle enough and got a silly buoy.
6:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:55
SPEAKER_03: Uh but yeah, no s no no saddle saw for him, no saddle saw for me.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: But a dear friend of ours has had saddle saw this week because she made the mistake of wearing a thong whilst riding.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, and quote, unquote, she said it felt like she'd had anal with an angle grinder.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it stings, I will say.
7:16
SPEAKER_03: As a reminder for anyone who's never had it, the sting you get in the shower when the water trickles down your back, yeah, down your crack, is horrendous.
7:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, that's not the one.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
7:28
SPEAKER_03: That's not the one.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: Raw skin.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Um, so is that essentially what you're loving this week?
7:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, all of that.
7:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, the last thing I had, which I jotted down just now, was so when we went on this game drive, you had to fill out a form, and it said, you had to put your name, your passport number, I guess so they can identify you in case you did die, and sign it.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: It was basically like we're not liable if anything happens.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: And I was looking through the list of names, and it like the top ones were like Phoebe, Harry, it was the kids' names, and then Fiona and Richard, who were obviously the mum and dad, and it made me think of dear Richard over there, and it just made me think.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: Obviously, baby names have evolved so much now.
8:07
SPEAKER_03: People are calling them like Peach and Pear and whatever else.
8:09
SPEAKER_03: But can you imagine?
8:12
SPEAKER_03: Like, Rich, at some point, you would have been like three months old, and your mum would have been like, Hello everyone, this is baby Richard.
8:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, strong.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: Strong.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: What'd you have to say about that?
8:24
SPEAKER_05: Uh I was nearly called Ben because they were worried that people would call me Dick.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: I call you Dick.
8:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:31
SPEAKER_05: It doesn't bother me.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: So you look like a Ben, actually.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: You could, yeah, you could be a Ben, I think.
8:38
SPEAKER_05: Easy to spell.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sounded out.
8:41
SPEAKER_03: But baby Richard.
8:42
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna be called Eric if I was a boy.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: I know my sister was gonna be called Nathaniel, but I had no boy name.
8:49
SPEAKER_03: Did you not?
8:50
SPEAKER_01: No.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: Apologies.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Oliver?
8:54
SPEAKER_03: Oliver.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: Um, anyway, that's me.
8:56
SPEAKER_03: What's new with you?
8:57
SPEAKER_03: What are you loving this week?
8:58
SPEAKER_03: Talk to me, goose.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: Um, square of root square of root, fuck all actually, that is new.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: She's been pining over me.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Really?
9:04
SPEAKER_01: I've been trying to keep my mouth shut and not tell you too much.
9:08
SPEAKER_01: Um, but what I'm loving this week, and I hope people are gonna bond with me on it, because I got basically when I was out over the weekend, it kind of reminded me how great it is.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: The girls' fucking bathroom, okay?
9:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what a fucking place.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: What a fucking place.
9:27
SPEAKER_03: And this goes back to why I don't like gender-neutral toilets, because you lose the magic of the girls' love.
9:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you lose the magic.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, it's a sacred place.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: I literally walked into a girls' bathroom and immediately was met with a load of girls going, oh my god, your hair's amazing.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, you're sexy as fuck.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: Blah blah blah.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: And I literally had a full rundown.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: I was like, ha, do you know what?
9:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna fucking take that.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: And then we ended up talking about well, they were talking about boys naturally.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Um did you sell the podcast?
9:54
SPEAKER_01: I did speak about the podcast, but the conversation ended by all of us just agreeing that this girl should dump her boyfriend, which I I like that.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like that.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I like that you can bond with people and go, yeah, he's just a dick, just get rid of him.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: You know red flags.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: That was that's what I'm loving this week.
10:11
SPEAKER_03: Girls supporting girls, yeah.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm loving this week.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, and you could literally just go on and on about shit.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: Like everyone would be like, where are they?
10:21
SPEAKER_01: They're in the bathroom, yeah, talking to random people they've never met.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: What's your PB of how many people you've got in a cubicle?
10:27
SPEAKER_01: One cubicle on a night out.
10:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't know.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: Maybe four.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Good effort.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Depends on how small they are.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe four.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: When I was funny story.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: Go on.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: When I was younger, and Ellen will know this, there's a place called Mambo in Taunton, and I was in Mambo.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh, West Country.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And it's actually a place that I haven't been back to.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: I got chucked out of there for changing clothes with a boy I knew.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: He wore my pencil skirt, I wore his jeans.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna fully swap clothes, we got we got thrown out.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: But before that, I remember I was very young, well, very young, legal to go out.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I went to the outside loos, and I got caught in a stall by my sister with a boy.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, so another girl's bathroom, but there was a boy in the bathroom with me.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: Did we have a boat?
11:19
SPEAKER_01: No, no, we weren't we weren't in our boat era at that point.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: He really weirdly, he used to do my eyelashes and my hair, and I thought he was gay for years.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: Turns out he's not.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: Just go in touch with his feminine beauty side, basically.
11:34
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyway, yeah, bathroom chat.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that is the same guy that I no, is it?
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is the same guy I made him wear my pencil skirt and we swapped clothes.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: Haven't been back to Mambo.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: Shout out, Mambo.
11:46
SPEAKER_03: I wonder if it's still going.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: It is.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Ellen was there the other day, I think.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Mambo and Taunton.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: Go on, what's your fuck off of the week?
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Right.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: I said I'd never talk about slugs on this podcast ever again.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: Ever again.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: But I was getting ready to go out the other day, and you know I've got wood floor in the lounge.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I could hear one of the dogs like hustling about, hustling about on the wooden floor.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna hear one of their collars smashing around.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: Soot, my spaniel, for anyone that's listening, is rubbing herself vigorously on top of a slug on my floor in my lounge, and her ears and she's giving it a good dirty little pervert.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: So and sweep the Labrador is literally there, like, what the fuck's going on?
12:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's rubbing herself on a slug.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: That's kind of grim.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: That's my slug chat, and that's my fuck off of the week because she is so chucked with herself after the fact that she tried to kill a monk jack earlier in the week.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: She's she's nicknamed the Ripper.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, witch.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, she's she's back in lead jail and now not allowed to go out without superfive visits.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: Like, honestly, we're a little witch.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: So that's my fuck off of the week.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: Yours?
13:05
SPEAKER_01: I got two.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: You got one?
13:07
SPEAKER_03: I got two.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: Even though you've been away.
13:09
SPEAKER_03: Uh so the first one, well it's actually it's kind of funny, but I couldn't believe it was happening.
13:12
SPEAKER_03: So we were at a photo point at uh I think it's the Cape of Good Hope.
13:17
SPEAKER_03: So at the right at the bottom of South Africa or Montana, well, bottom of like the Cape Town Peninsula, you've got Cape of Good Hope.
13:23
SPEAKER_03: So everyone's coming to take a photo.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, they've they've put like two signs so that you can obviously get multiple people around to take a photo.
13:30
SPEAKER_03: And this girl was stood on the right hand side, someone else was stood on the left, separate parties trying to have their photo taken on the left, and then she's there.
13:39
SPEAKER_03: Barely, there's like 30 people waiting, she's there like shoe shoeing them away with a hand to be like, No, no, you can't be in my photo.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: And I was just like, and I just I literally turned around, I was like, There's two signs, you idiot! Like, let this be like as if you're shooing someone away as well.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, it was panic.
13:55
SPEAKER_03: I was just like, Oh, do you just want the best shot for Instagram?
13:58
SPEAKER_03: Like, fuck's sake, it's like it was it was honestly, it was too much.
14:03
SPEAKER_03: Um, and then the other one I've got, and I don't know whether or not you've had this, but obviously I post a lot of travel content because I love a holiday on social media.
14:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're sick of it.
14:10
SPEAKER_03: Then fuck you, what I'm sick of, what I'm sick of is the number of people that are in like basically in pyramid schemes.
14:18
SPEAKER_03: These I'm a self-employed travel agent, and then live for all that bollocks, yeah.
14:23
SPEAKER_03: Me, it does my tits in.
14:24
SPEAKER_03: So they slide into my DMs and they'll be like, Oh, where's this?
14:26
SPEAKER_03: And I'll be like, Oh, the place that I tagged, like within the capsule of the post, that annoys me.
14:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, read the fucking post.
14:32
SPEAKER_03: And then they'll be like, and then this one person was like, Oh, have you been to South Africa before?
14:36
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Yeah, it's my third time.
14:38
SPEAKER_03: And then she was like, So how do you book your travel?
14:41
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Oh, okay, I do it myself, like leave me alone, and then then the message, would you consider being a self-employed travel agent?
14:47
SPEAKER_03: I was like, No, how do you how do you think I'd have enough time with trying to hold down a job, trying to do a podcast, yeah, having a social life, trying to stay fit?
14:57
SPEAKER_03: I was like, No, lady.
14:59
SPEAKER_03: I was like, I organise if you have the privilege of me organising a holiday for you, i.e.
15:04
SPEAKER_03: a riding holiday, strap yourself in, strap yourself in.
15:07
SPEAKER_03: Uh I plan a good trip.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm always there for a good time.
15:10
SPEAKER_03: Everything is planned from start to end.
15:12
SPEAKER_03: You will enjoy your time with Charlie Airways.
15:14
SPEAKER_03: However, I will do it for my friends.
15:16
SPEAKER_03: I'm not doing it for any other fucker who I don't know.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: No, it'd fuck me off.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to deal with the general public.
15:22
SPEAKER_03: So I don't want your pyramid scheme.
15:24
SPEAKER_03: Bore off, let it be known, stop siding as my DMs.
15:28
SPEAKER_03: Do my tips.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: It's all over TikTok at the moment as well.
15:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's V annoying.
15:33
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, moving on.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: Have you got another one?
15:37
SPEAKER_01: No, that's it.
15:38
SPEAKER_01: So I did a poll because I wanted us to have a poll to talk about because you were away.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: Um so I did a poll.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: It was would you rather have your mum choose your next boyfriend or girlfriend, or have your ex do it?
15:57
SPEAKER_01: I enjoy this one a lot.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: Or we talk about the results.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Charlotte Dickie.
16:04
SPEAKER_03: I I chose my ex.
16:06
SPEAKER_03: Would you?
16:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
16:08
SPEAKER_03: I was with him for a long time.
16:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
16:11
SPEAKER_03: So I was like, well, I was with him for a long time, so he knows me as well as anyone.
16:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:15
SPEAKER_03: So I think would know who would be good for me, who I'd like, who I wouldn't like.
16:19
SPEAKER_03: Someone who doesn't cheat.
16:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:22
SPEAKER_03: I've heard that's great.
16:25
SPEAKER_03: Nah, keep it in.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I think he would know who I would get on with.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: Like we spent like 10 years together.
16:34
SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
16:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:35
SPEAKER_03: Whereas I feel like your mum knows you on a level of like they see what you want to see.
16:41
SPEAKER_03: Do you know?
16:42
SPEAKER_03: So nice.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:44
SPEAKER_03: But they don't know how you want to be ravished.
16:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:46
SPEAKER_03: Whereas my ex does.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, yeah.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: Good point.
16:50
SPEAKER_05: But hang on though, hang on.
16:51
SPEAKER_05: Are you basing this on the fact that they want you to be happy?
16:55
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, if they're a nice human being, then yeah.
16:56
SPEAKER_03: I hope so.
16:57
SPEAKER_05: Is that why you're choosing your ex?
16:59
SPEAKER_05: You're overthinking it, yeah.
17:00
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, in my in my in your experience, I can understand why you'd maybe not think that.
17:04
SPEAKER_05: My mum would probably go with the path of least resistance or something like that.
17:08
SPEAKER_03: So imagine scenario, your ex does want you to be happy, and you know, does want good for you.
17:16
SPEAKER_03: What would you think then?
17:18
SPEAKER_05: Probably would be ex, actually.
17:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
17:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
17:21
SPEAKER_05: No, I agree.
17:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Olivia, what are your thoughts?
17:26
SPEAKER_06: This is terrible to me.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: This is terrible for me.
17:29
SPEAKER_01: And I had to tell you.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: When I wrote this yesterday, I didn't think about the fact that I'd be asked because both options are hellish.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, yeah.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: If you had to choose, what are you choosing?
17:44
SPEAKER_02: Oh, guns in my head, pull the trigger.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: Um terrible.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Can I pick one of you, pricks?
17:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:57
SPEAKER_05: Okay, because we've got the caveat in it.
17:59
SPEAKER_05: It doesn't have to be a specific.
18:00
SPEAKER_05: You can choose that ex.
18:02
SPEAKER_05: You've got some nice exes that would actually choose well for you.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: I tell you who I'll choose.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: I tell you who I'll choose because he's just started following the podcast and I'm sure he's listening.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Sam for my first ever boyfriend of all time.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, the results are 65% would choose, let their mum choose.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: 35% ex.
18:24
SPEAKER_05: I reckon it's because they assumed that they wouldn't want them to be happy.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I guess it depends on.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: So the one of the responses I got was depends which ex.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I think it depends on how you ended things and whether you're wishing each other well, yeah, or whether you want to poke their eyes out.
18:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:41
SPEAKER_03: You know.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: They want to poke your eyes out, you don't know.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, here we are.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: So mine's difficult.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: I hadn't actually thought about how that would affect me.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: But it affects me great.
18:58
SPEAKER_03: And in a moment.
19:00
SPEAKER_03: Um you have the floor, my lady.
19:02
SPEAKER_03: Okay, right.
19:03
SPEAKER_03: So obviously I went to Amsterdam not too long ago.
19:05
SPEAKER_03: Oh, nothing.
19:06
SPEAKER_03: And we no, we were talking about um uh sex workers and girls in the windows.
19:11
SPEAKER_03: So somebody off the back of that episode messaged me and said, You need to go and look at this thread on Reddit.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, please hold.
19:17
SPEAKER_03: Basically, this lady goes on, and she I didn't really know what Reddit was, um, but she anonymously posted, I'm a sex worker in Amsterdam, ask me any question that you want.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: We love this.
19:26
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
19:27
SPEAKER_03: So I've screenshot a few to read out.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: Rich's ears are pricked.
19:31
SPEAKER_03: What's the strangest encounter you've ever had?
19:34
SPEAKER_03: A man wanting me to call him a ferret.
19:39
SPEAKER_03: Which I think was a bit funny.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: Lulu would have a field day with that.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: Is that a a kink or is that a fetish?
19:48
SPEAKER_01: I I would like to she can correct me on this and I'll ask her.
19:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I would say potentially a fetish because it comes into humiliation.
19:59
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: That's my words of wisdom.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: Fetish is a need, isn't it?
20:02
SPEAKER_01: Because it's quite humiliating, it's quite degrading.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: So I would say it's a fetish, it's a need.
20:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, interesting.
20:08
SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, so another question was how many people do you usually turn down at the door before taking someone in?
20:13
SPEAKER_03: Whenever I bike- You're asking me.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: Whenever I bike through the area, I always see more people getting rejected than entering.
20:21
SPEAKER_03: And she said, it's not so much through rejecting, it's that they don't agree with the prices.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: I would say I turn down at least five under 18s a night.
20:29
SPEAKER_03: I would turn down about eight people who are drunk or rude.
20:32
SPEAKER_03: If you live in Amsterdam, you know Diwalen is crazy.
20:36
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
20:37
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
20:38
SPEAKER_03: And then we had one about UK stag parties.
20:41
SPEAKER_03: How do you like the stag parties that come over from the UK?
20:44
SPEAKER_03: I've heard that they are wild.
20:46
SPEAKER_03: They are the bane of our lives.
20:48
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: They're always drunk, never respectful, and half of them are never allowed in, and the other half never get hard.
20:54
SPEAKER_03: Ha ha!
20:57
SPEAKER_02: Which I really enjoyed.
20:58
SPEAKER_03: Whiskey dick.
20:59
SPEAKER_03: And then someone's put lol, and then she said lol, not laughing at how bad they are for you to deal with, just your comment about their flaccid penises.
21:05
SPEAKER_03: I've heard they can be an issue out in the city at bars and stuff as well.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: Um and then a few interesting ones.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: Do you ever orgasm?
21:14
SPEAKER_03: Do you ever get a female customer?
21:15
SPEAKER_03: This is three in one.
21:16
SPEAKER_03: How often do your customers lick your anus?
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: I was talking about rimming the other day.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: With who?
21:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, with the girls.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, sorry.
21:26
SPEAKER_03: Um, so she said, I've orgasmed a few times.
21:30
unknown: Yeah.
21:30
SPEAKER_03: Do we ever get female customers?
21:31
SPEAKER_03: Yes, we do.
21:32
SPEAKER_03: And then the person who asked about rimming has said, um uh how often do your customers lick your anus?
21:39
SPEAKER_03: A lot, but I charge them more.
21:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair facts.
21:42
SPEAKER_03: And then last but not least, when does the average sex worker retire in your line of work?
21:48
SPEAKER_03: Do they retire because they're tired, have accumulated enough wealth, or because of degrading looks and demand for younger workers?
21:54
SPEAKER_03: And what happens to retired workers?
21:56
SPEAKER_03: She says, I know very old sex workers, perhaps 60, I won't do this forever.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: You don't really accumulate wealth in this industry.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: It's a big misconception that we all earn big money.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: We have to pay a lot to rent our windows.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: Older retired workers are often looked after by our union.
22:11
SPEAKER_03: So reading a few other comments, because I know that when we were discussing it, we were like, How many people are human trafficked?
22:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:18
SPEAKER_03: That was obviously from like a safety perspective quite a big thing.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: But basically, they from my research on Reddit, they have to the girls have to be able to provide like proof of residency and that they haven't been trafficked.
22:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I remember you saying.
22:32
SPEAKER_03: And then they have a whole union that supports them with like health testing.
22:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:37
SPEAKER_03: They have security buttons in there that basically goes through to a security team, not a pimp, which is what I thought.
22:45
SPEAKER_03: But also to the police as well.
22:47
SPEAKER_03: So I think actually nobody else takes a cut for how much work they do.
22:50
SPEAKER_03: It is literally just the cost to rent the window.
22:53
unknown: Wow.
22:54
SPEAKER_03: So there we go.
22:55
SPEAKER_03: And whilst we're on Amsterdam, I got you a little gift the other week.
22:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
22:59
SPEAKER_03: What is it?
23:01
SPEAKER_01: Is it phallic?
23:02
SPEAKER_01: No, here you go.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: Take this.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: Hang on.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Hang on.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: So if you open her up, please hold call.
23:11
SPEAKER_03: I went to the tulip museum just so I could go in the shop.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: Is this rude?
23:15
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not rude.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: I was hoping it was rude.
23:18
SPEAKER_02: But you could you can buy loads of different bowls.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: Read out what yours are called.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: This could not be more relevant.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: I've got ten tulips.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: They are raisin black and they're called Queen of the Night.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: Is that because I wear arsenless chaps sometimes?
23:37
SPEAKER_03: It's because you like a good night out.
23:38
SPEAKER_03: And I thought you like your flowers.
23:40
SPEAKER_03: And I thought they were quite unusual because they were black.
23:42
SPEAKER_03: So you've got to plant plant them in November and then they'll blossom in the spring.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
23:47
SPEAKER_03: So there you go.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: I keep forgetting them, so sorry.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: Sounds about right.
23:50
SPEAKER_03: I also blossom in the spring.
23:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what a gal.
23:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I thought you were queen of the night.
23:54
SPEAKER_03: You're always here, there, and everywhere.
23:55
SPEAKER_03: I fucking am.
23:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm feral at the moment.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: You're queen of Northleach Wine Bar.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I haven't been in there for a while.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have been a little bit um, what's the word?
24:07
SPEAKER_01: I've been like a bit of a hermit and trying to go out, not drink during the week, and trying to go out when I want to go out as opposed to just going out all the time.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Um I like that.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: Which doesn't bring me on to my next topic, but um, I will just clear up the rimming chat.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, okay, great.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: Clear up the rooming chat.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: We were talking about this the other day, and I can't remember how it came up.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: Um, but it was in a group chat with a few other girlfriends anyway.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think someone brought it up, and then we said, Oh, who's doing that?
24:38
SPEAKER_01: And then my other friend went, Excuse me, who's still doing that, whatever?
24:42
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, it is a thing.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: Like people are it people are bringing it back.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: It's a chat that I see happening.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: Bring it back.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: And then then we got onto the chat of would you do it to a bloke?
24:54
SPEAKER_01: And then the chat comes to do they wipe their asses properly, all that shit.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: Do they have worms?
25:00
SPEAKER_03: Remember a worm chat episodes ago?
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Worms.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, yeah.
25:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, childhood fears of having worms.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: So do you ain't gonna ruin you in case you've got worms.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: I didn't ask.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: I know just let you know.
25:11
SPEAKER_01: Didn't fucking ask.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: Just let you know my boundaries, okay?
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, tell you what, while we're on the subject of boundaries, your dad liked the snippet about us scissoring, so ha.
25:21
SPEAKER_05: I saw that.
25:22
SPEAKER_05: I saw that.
25:22
SPEAKER_05: I was like, that's gotta be it.
25:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's only one plan.
25:25
SPEAKER_05: Go on.
25:26
SPEAKER_03: Um boy.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Um I've got a couple of topics that I want to talk about.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: Go on.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, but my first one is I'd like to know if you know what vabbing is.
25:38
SPEAKER_03: Vabbing.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: Vabbing.
25:40
SPEAKER_01: VM vaping.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: Double B I N G.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely no idea.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to guess?
25:46
SPEAKER_04: I know.
25:46
SPEAKER_04: You already know, so I can't remember.
25:47
SPEAKER_04: You know what it is?
25:48
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: Uh uh, I've I've no idea.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: Something to do with vaping?
25:55
SPEAKER_03: That's on my mind immediately.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: If only.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: If only.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: Really?
25:57
SPEAKER_05: Is it bad?
25:58
SPEAKER_01: It's about to be educated in the wrong way here.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: It's questioning basically when a woman uses her vaginal fluid, let's say, um, as perfume.
26:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: There is a yeah, and there is a lady that's kind of gone viral because she's like obsessed with doing it.
26:19
SPEAKER_03: I don't like that.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:21
SPEAKER_01: Just thought I'd thought it'd break you in easy, you know?
26:24
SPEAKER_01: First one back.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Happy happy jet lag.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Um, and the next one is what are your thoughts on golden showers?
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what that is?
26:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that was on my bingo card for you to ask me.
26:38
SPEAKER_03: Um I think I couldn't do it.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: Having had having had Lulu on the couch, I mindful, I don't want to judge anyone.
26:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh, no judgment, but I couldn't do it.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: It's not for me.
26:54
SPEAKER_03: Personally, I think it's fucking gross, but I'm not here to judge.
26:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
26:57
SPEAKER_03: Trying to be more open-minded, but I don't want to get pissed on, I don't want to piss on someone else.
27:00
SPEAKER_03: No, thank you.
27:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, so I'm re-watching Sex in the City at the moment.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: We can like fucking love it.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: And there is an episode where Carrie is basically going out with this politician and she goes to Staten Island with him, and he they come back and he's in the shower and he asks her to do it.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Why don't I just go make a pot of tea and pour warm tea over you?
27:24
SPEAKER_03: Be nicer for everyone.
27:25
SPEAKER_03: I completely forgot about it, but yeah.
27:27
SPEAKER_03: Um Maybe that's a question we should ask Lulu.
27:29
SPEAKER_03: Where does the dawn showers thing come from?
27:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:33
SPEAKER_03: What's the what's the reason behind why someone might get kicked out of that?
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we'll ask her.
27:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:39
SPEAKER_03: We'll ask her.
27:40
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
27:41
SPEAKER_03: Um something I wanted to discuss just real quick before we move on to Snog Maria Void.
27:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, did you see the girl who had planned a whole wedding in Tuscany?
27:52
SPEAKER_03: Have you seen this?
27:52
SPEAKER_03: Yes, planned a whole wedding and she got dumped the week before, and she still went anyway like a fucking rock star, and I love it.
27:58
SPEAKER_03: And she looked like she had the time of her life.
28:02
SPEAKER_03: And I just thought, what a gal.
28:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she looked great.
28:06
SPEAKER_03: I've seen it.
28:07
SPEAKER_03: And the little do you see the little I'd do the fucking same.
28:10
SPEAKER_03: The videographer did the whole highlight reel as well.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: And I was just like, if you've paid all that money, yeah, fuck him.
28:17
SPEAKER_03: Everyone's flying out, good on you, I see.
28:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fuck him.
28:21
SPEAKER_03: Honestly.
28:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she just owned her shit, and I was like, fair fucks, because you that would probably break you to your core.
28:28
SPEAKER_03: And I just thought, what a fucking woman.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you'd rally.
28:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: No, I completely agree.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: I saw loads of content about it, and I thought, what a woman.
28:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, queen.
28:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:38
SPEAKER_03: Uh are you ready for some snog my voids?
28:40
SPEAKER_03: Go on.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: Uh okay, right, let's start with the girls first.
28:44
SPEAKER_03: We have Ariana Grande, Sydney Sweeney, and Halle Berry.
28:49
SPEAKER_03: Don't you eye roll at Sydney Sweeney like that?
28:52
SPEAKER_03: She's a Trump supporter.
28:53
SPEAKER_03: I know, but have you seen the new um I sent it to your girl Lucy other day?
28:57
SPEAKER_03: She's done a new underwear campaign on Instagram and wow.
29:01
unknown: Wow.
29:02
SPEAKER_03: Have you seen it, Rich?
29:03
SPEAKER_03: You must have seen it.
29:04
SPEAKER_03: No.
29:04
SPEAKER_03: You wanna I'll send it to you after this.
29:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
29:06
SPEAKER_03: You're welcome.
29:07
SPEAKER_03: We'll share on stories.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: She's a Trump supporter.
29:10
SPEAKER_03: I know, but she's also a queen.
29:11
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, who you snogging?
29:12
SPEAKER_03: Who you marrying?
29:12
SPEAKER_03: Who you avoiding?
29:13
SPEAKER_03: Let's start with Rich because he always copies you.
29:16
SPEAKER_03: So Rich, you go first.
29:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you do copy me.
29:20
SPEAKER_05: I think I'd only swap the they were fairly in order, I think.
29:24
SPEAKER_05: Oh really?
29:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
29:25
SPEAKER_05: Possibly swap.
29:26
SPEAKER_05: Well who's snogging?
29:27
SPEAKER_05: No, maybe do Sydney first.
29:28
SPEAKER_05: I'd snog Snydnic.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Halle Berry is a babe.
29:30
SPEAKER_05: I know, but Bond girl.
29:33
SPEAKER_05: I know.
29:33
SPEAKER_05: Just the fuck is wrong with this man.
29:36
SPEAKER_03: So you're snogging Sydney.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: Who are you marrying?
29:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, Ariana.
29:40
SPEAKER_03: And you're avoiding Halle Berry.
29:42
SPEAKER_05: I know.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: Rogue.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: Olivia.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: Um snog Ariana, marry Halle Berry, avoid Sydney cunt, Sweeney.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: Get fucked.
29:53
SPEAKER_03: Don't hate on my girl.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: Um she wants to take away women's rights, then off you fuck.
29:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
29:58
SPEAKER_03: I don't like getting into politics.
30:00
SPEAKER_03: No, but that's how I feel.
30:01
SPEAKER_03: I'm not educated on the subject.
30:02
SPEAKER_03: You want to die on that hill?
30:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:04
SPEAKER_03: I'll see you there.
30:05
SPEAKER_03: Uh I think I would snog Hallie, I'd marry Sydney, and I'd avoid Ariana.
30:10
SPEAKER_06: Ooh.
30:10
SPEAKER_03: I feel really bad for her.
30:11
SPEAKER_03: She's had a lot of really like, you know, a lot of negative press about away.
30:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and she's also got an eating disorder, and it's it makes me really sad.
30:20
SPEAKER_03: But I but I also really respect her for like cancelling her tours, taking herself away from the limelight, um, and just focusing on herself.
30:28
SPEAKER_03: So good for her.
30:29
SPEAKER_03: What a why?
30:31
SPEAKER_03: Right, the men we have John Legend.
30:34
unknown: What a guy.
30:34
SPEAKER_03: Chris Martin off of Coldplay and Travis Kelsey.
30:38
SPEAKER_03: Olivia will start with you this time.
30:41
SPEAKER_03: It's a good lineup, isn't it?
30:44
SPEAKER_01: Um Snog John Legend.
30:48
SPEAKER_01: Strong.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: Marry Travis Kelsey.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: Strong.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: Because he's fucking funny.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: Avoid Chris Martin.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, my guy.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:56
unknown: Rich.
30:56
SPEAKER_05: Exactly the same.
30:57
SPEAKER_05: No idea.
30:58
SPEAKER_05: I swear to fuck.
31:00
SPEAKER_05: Snog um.
31:03
SPEAKER_05: You say Travis?
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Is that his name?
31:05
SPEAKER_01: Kelsey.
31:05
SPEAKER_03: Travis Kelsey, yeah.
31:06
SPEAKER_03: The one that's a good one.
31:08
SPEAKER_05: I'd marry Chris.
31:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh, interesting.
31:11
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
31:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because he is actually funny.
31:13
SPEAKER_05: And t-shirt.
31:15
SPEAKER_05: I'd have to avoid John Legend.
31:16
SPEAKER_05: Sleeves underneath.
31:17
SPEAKER_01: You'd avoid that musical.
31:20
SPEAKER_05: No, I am tempted to snork him now.
31:22
SPEAKER_05: That's that's weird.
31:23
SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
31:24
SPEAKER_05: Please continue.
31:25
SPEAKER_05: Let's move on.
31:26
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
31:26
SPEAKER_03: Well, I think I would snork Travis, I'd marry John and I'd avoid Chris.
31:32
SPEAKER_03: I enjoy John Legend.
31:33
SPEAKER_03: Snork who?
31:35
SPEAKER_03: Travis.
31:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: See, you'll be right back.
31:37
SPEAKER_03: I'd marry John Legend.
31:39
SPEAKER_03: What a guy.
31:39
SPEAKER_03: And then yeah, I'd uh Chris Martin's great, but um I could listen to John Legend sing all day long.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fair.
31:45
SPEAKER_01: What a guy.
31:48
SPEAKER_01: Um would you would you would you like to hope there's no dogs in the car?
31:55
SPEAKER_01: No, there isn't.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh oh yeah, in the car.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: People are listening in the car.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: I was like, my dogs aren't in the car.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: Shut the fuck up, Rich.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: You're laughing way too much.
32:07
SPEAKER_03: If you play this in your kitchen on Friday morning.
32:09
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, the dogs will freak out.
32:12
SPEAKER_06: Wow!
32:12
SPEAKER_01: They'll freak out for a walk.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, I've got another who's most likely to.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh yes, great.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: Do not use your fucking bell.
32:21
SPEAKER_05: Oh, went to third.
32:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, get it.
32:23
SPEAKER_01: I think it's really fun.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: You can vote for yourself.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: Um your buzzers are as follows.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
32:35
SPEAKER_05: Rich.
32:40
SPEAKER_01: Roll, please.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to be late to their own wedding?
32:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: Charlie.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Charlie.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me.
32:51
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to have a secret talent that nobody knows about?
32:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: Rich.
32:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'd agree with that.
32:59
SPEAKER_03: I think we're so extroverted you know about it.
33:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fair.
33:02
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
33:02
SPEAKER_04: I can juggle.
33:03
SPEAKER_03: Can you?
33:04
SPEAKER_03: See, I didn't know that.
33:05
SPEAKER_03: See?
33:05
SPEAKER_03: I'd like to get you on camera.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: I just know you're talking about Jesus.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to be the first one on the dance floor?
33:19
SPEAKER_01: You.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: I do like a good boogie, yeah.
33:22
SPEAKER_03: Put a drink of me and I'm many ones.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: Um no?
33:27
SPEAKER_04: No, I agree.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
33:29
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
33:31
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to sleep with someone they said they'd never sleep with?
33:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
33:37
SPEAKER_02: You.
33:38
SPEAKER_02: I'll say you.
33:39
SPEAKER_05: I'm just gonna say all three of us.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Never go there.
33:49
SPEAKER_01: Very dare I.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: Naughty.
33:53
SPEAKER_01: Twins, Basil.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: Twins.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to become famous but for something completely ridiculous?
34:09
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna say me.
34:11
SPEAKER_05: Or Rich.
34:12
SPEAKER_05: What would it be?
34:12
SPEAKER_05: It would be Juggling.
34:13
SPEAKER_05: It'd be clear.
34:14
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
34:16
SPEAKER_03: Can't say Juggling balls.
34:17
SPEAKER_05: Juggling on a I don't know.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: Rich going on The Bachelor.
34:23
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever watched The Bachelor?
34:24
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
34:24
SPEAKER_01: I will not.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: It's so great.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: You would if I was mad.
34:27
SPEAKER_03: Shit TV, isn't it?
34:28
SPEAKER_01: That's why I like it.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to keep a secret for the longest?
34:34
SPEAKER_01: Charles.
34:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I was gonna say you.
34:36
unknown: But actually.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty good if it goes in the vault.
34:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm pretty good.
34:39
SPEAKER_01: If it goes in the vault.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: You're terrible.
34:42
SPEAKER_05: You talk to everyone.
34:43
SPEAKER_05: You know I can keep secrets.
34:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but you also talk to everyone about everything.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: About me, not other people.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, good point.
34:49
SPEAKER_03: That's why his hair is so big, it's so funny.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: Full of secrets.
34:53
SPEAKER_03: It's hard thing.
34:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's from Mean Girls, duh.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh right, sorry.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: I'm a mouse who is most likely to accidentally expose someone's secret.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: Hang on.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Because not intentionally.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: Remember, we've got we're an audio you pointed out me.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: You yeah.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: But not not intentionally.
35:13
SPEAKER_05: So she could keep a secret.
35:14
SPEAKER_05: So we couldn't.
35:14
SPEAKER_03: I know, but I would slip out with with no bad intent.
35:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:20
SPEAKER_03: She'd put her foot in it.
35:21
SPEAKER_03: Well, like I'd forget that someone would be like, I I've done it.
35:24
SPEAKER_03: You put her to a friend.
35:26
SPEAKER_03: No one else knew.
35:27
SPEAKER_03: I was like, fuck, I'm so sorry.
35:29
SPEAKER_03: I assumed everyone knew.
35:30
SPEAKER_03: Because if you speak to me about something so openly, and then there's like another one of your best friends around, I'm probably going to assume that they know.
35:36
SPEAKER_03: So when they don't, and I land you in it, I am sorry.
35:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to quit their job on a whim and move abroad?
35:48
SPEAKER_02: You! 100% you! I would say you.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: Nah, no way.
35:52
SPEAKER_02: You have hands down.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: I have.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: I would say you're I have been rumoured to have been talking about moving to Barbados a couple of times.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: We'll have to do this via Teams.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: Are you gonna be okay with that, Rinch?
36:01
SPEAKER_01: Also, I did look at visas a while ago to go to Canada.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: Canada's great.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: To go to Banff.
36:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh, let me just get on their tourism board because I recommend it to everyone.
36:10
SPEAKER_01: Woo!
36:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
36:13
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to get caught snooping through someone's phone?
36:19
SPEAKER_01: This is a toughie because I don't like I wouldn't do it.
36:22
SPEAKER_01: I don't know that any of us would do it.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: I haven't done it since I was a teenager.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: No.
36:26
SPEAKER_01: And that wouldn't that was because there was like I was told there was shit.
36:33
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't say any of us would do that.
36:36
SPEAKER_05: Not now, definitely in the past.
36:37
SPEAKER_05: No, yeah.
36:39
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to end up dating someone that they met in a nightclub toilet queue?
36:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: You.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: I knew you were gonna say me.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't even go to clubs anymore.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you chat to anyone.
36:54
SPEAKER_01: I do.
36:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:55
SPEAKER_01: I do.
36:55
SPEAKER_05: Nightclub cubicle, you could have said as well.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to get recognised in public and absolutely love it?
37:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say one of us.
37:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but happened earlier.
37:07
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I do a podcast.
37:09
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Not you.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: No one cares about you.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: No, that's fine.
37:14
SPEAKER_03: No, you are literally you're like big brother.
37:15
SPEAKER_03: I kind of like that.
37:16
SPEAKER_03: No one knows what you look like.
37:17
SPEAKER_03: But everyone, do you know we've had so much good feedback about people love the male interjection?
37:21
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
37:22
SPEAKER_03: Brings a different dynamic.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: I've got one more.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: It's the last one.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: Who is most likely to cry at a completely inappropriate moment?
37:31
SPEAKER_01: I would say you, because you're a real sensitive Sally.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: I am a real crier.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: When I asked you about the Hunger Games thing, I thought you had a breakdown.
37:37
SPEAKER_03: Can we not?
37:39
SPEAKER_03: Case in point.
37:41
SPEAKER_03: Don't like stuff like that.
37:44
SPEAKER_03: But I don't know that I ever cried when it's inappropriate.
37:46
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I always cried at the Dallas Couple of Cheerleaders this morning, but I think it's because I was really tired.
37:49
SPEAKER_03: I was really emotional because they were like handing in their uniform.
37:52
SPEAKER_03: Exhibit A.
37:53
SPEAKER_03: They've worked so hard.
37:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, really into it.
37:55
SPEAKER_03: Literally.
37:56
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, right, Joyce.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: Are you crying right now?
38:05
SPEAKER_01: No, just with laughter.
38:09
SPEAKER_02: Moving on, moving on, moving on.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: Have you got anything else to add before we do this or that?
38:14
SPEAKER_01: Nah.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
38:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, would you like me to start?
38:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go on.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: Right.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather speak only in questions for a day or only in movie quotes?
38:29
SPEAKER_01: Movie quotes.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: I knew you'd say that.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather every text you send auto-correct to something embarrassing or every call to start on speakerphone by default?
38:43
SPEAKER_01: Speakerphone, I'm taking speakerphone.
38:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
38:47
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather be proposed to in front of a huge crowd or somewhere completely private with no one else there?
38:53
SPEAKER_01: Private.
38:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fair.
38:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have a laugh that sounds like a dying seal or walk that looks like penguin?
39:06
SPEAKER_03: Now I'd like to know um I'd like everyone's best seal impression.
39:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I could do a seal.
39:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I could do a seal.
39:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh, oh.
39:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
39:18
SPEAKER_05: None of us can do a seal.
39:20
SPEAKER_01: I can do a peacock.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm asking for a dying seal.
39:23
SPEAKER_02: Is it a dying seal?
39:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, dying.
39:25
SPEAKER_01: Die.
39:26
SPEAKER_01: Die quieter.
39:27
SPEAKER_02: Rich, good.
39:28
SPEAKER_02: Give me a best seal.
39:30
SPEAKER_05: No, I can't.
39:30
SPEAKER_05: Okay, okay.
39:32
SPEAKER_05: Yours was enough.
39:33
SPEAKER_01: That's a nick.
39:34
SPEAKER_01: I am enough.
39:35
SPEAKER_01: This is why you can't do it.
39:37
SPEAKER_05: On a vodcast.
39:38
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather your GPS insult you every time you take a wrong turn?
39:44
SPEAKER_01: Or your washing machine narrate your laundry like a sports commentator.
39:48
SPEAKER_03: And here we have oh wait, no.
39:50
SPEAKER_03: That's David Aspira.
39:51
unknown: That's what I did for you.
39:52
SPEAKER_03: And going on the outside, we've got a safari shirt, and here we've wore some Jodbus and maybe some socks.
39:59
SPEAKER_03: Um I'll take the GPS.
40:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me too.
40:03
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather be the smartest person in the world but universally disliked?
40:08
SPEAKER_01: How?
40:09
SPEAKER_01: Which you already are, or average intelligence and well loved.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: Average intelligence and well loved.
40:15
SPEAKER_03: Would you?
40:16
SPEAKER_01: You need to read the book called The Courage to Be Disliked.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: Go for the smartest person in the world.
40:21
SPEAKER_01: Who gives a fuck?
40:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:22
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, who gives a fuck?
40:23
SPEAKER_03: I care about what people closest to me think of me.
40:24
SPEAKER_03: Everyone else can Yeah.
40:28
SPEAKER_01: Um would you rather your partner be a terrible dancer or a terrible singer at karaoke?
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Dancer.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: Let's have a duet.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
40:40
SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have a rewind button for your life or a fast forward?
40:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh well, that's hard because if you fast forward, I don't want to miss anything out.
40:52
SPEAKER_03: Maybe go rewind because it's been great so far.
40:54
SPEAKER_03: I can relive the thumb bits again.
40:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, good point.
40:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll go to camera.
40:58
SPEAKER_03: You can rewind the shit as well, though.
40:59
SPEAKER_03: Re-e-wind, that's fine.
41:00
SPEAKER_03: What doesn't Kiwi makes you stronger?
41:02
SPEAKER_03: Kelly Clarkson.
41:03
SPEAKER_03: So Fini.
41:05
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather your ringtone be a fart noise forever or your alarm be your mum yelling a full name?
41:12
SPEAKER_03: Fart noise.
41:13
SPEAKER_03: Immediate effect.
41:16
SPEAKER_01: Immediate effect.
41:18
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather have to high-five everyone you meet or bow to everyone that you meet?
41:22
SPEAKER_01: High five.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm not bowing to shit.
41:24
SPEAKER_01: Fuck off.
41:26
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather your search history became your Instagram bio or your camera roll became your profile picture rotation?
41:33
SPEAKER_03: That's a hard one.
41:35
SPEAKER_03: Do you want your wet t-shirts out there for the world to see?
41:38
SPEAKER_03: I don't give a fuck.
41:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's do that.
41:40
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
41:40
SPEAKER_03: There's also a hidden folder.
41:42
SPEAKER_03: There's your loophole.
41:44
SPEAKER_03: I don't do that, but okay.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Would you rather your partner's parents love you too much or barely acknowledge that you exist?
41:57
SPEAKER_01: The loving me too much kicks into my avoidance side, so barely acknowledge I exist.
42:03
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
42:04
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather be able to fly but only three feet off the ground or be invisible but only for 10 minutes a day?
42:10
SPEAKER_01: Invisible for 10 minutes a day.
42:12
SPEAKER_03: Get your little cloak on, Harry.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: Imagine what I could do with those ten minutes.
42:17
SPEAKER_03: Um would you rather live one incredible year and then disappear or live an average 80 years?
42:23
SPEAKER_01: One incredible year in despair.
42:26
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather that your date pay for everything or split it right down to the penny?
42:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm not splitting right down to the penny.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: You know how I feel about this.
42:35
SPEAKER_01: I I would go date pay for everything.
42:37
SPEAKER_01: Because if someone it's nothing worse than someone going, Oh, and you had a sauce as well.
42:43
SPEAKER_01: Fuck off.
42:44
SPEAKER_03: Uh would you rather find love through a dating app or through a chance encounter?
42:48
SPEAKER_03: Chance encounter every time.
42:49
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: No one's putting themselves on clearance.
42:51
SPEAKER_01: Get off the apps.
42:52
SPEAKER_01: It's a cult.
42:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:54
SPEAKER_01: Don't do it.
42:54
SPEAKER_01: I think it's too um People keep going, oh, how do you meet people organically?
42:58
SPEAKER_01: Just talk to people.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: I tell Say hello.
43:01
SPEAKER_03: And I've mentioned this to you before.
43:03
SPEAKER_03: So a friend of mine, Tom, has got a new app, a little plug for him, a new app called Actually, this will be a really good Instagram clip.
43:09
SPEAKER_03: He's got a new app called Innate Dating.
43:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:12
SPEAKER_03: The whole idea behind it is I think a lot of uh researchers found that a lot of men are nervous, anxious, embarrassed about approaching women and being rejected.
43:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:21
SPEAKER_03: So how innate dating works, obviously it's better in bigger cities, is it say you and I were working out in the gym and I'm like, oh yeah, she looks like a bit of me.
43:28
SPEAKER_03: I could see, I could go onto the app and see if you're also on the app.
43:31
SPEAKER_03: And if you are, I could send you a little heart.
43:33
SPEAKER_03: And if you send one back, I'd then probably have a bit more courage to go and start a conversation with you.
43:36
SPEAKER_03: Whereas, like, I saw a video the other day that I then sent to Tom and said this would be a good one for you to share, where this guy was in the gym, plucked up the courage to go and talk to this woman who was like, saw she had no ring, went and got on like the stairmaster next to her, and she was like, I'm really sorry I'm married.
43:52
SPEAKER_03: And he was like, It was so embarrassing.
43:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and so I get it, like it's hard.
43:56
SPEAKER_03: I think when you've been rejected so many times, it must really take the wind.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: Out of people's sales.
44:01
SPEAKER_03: So if there's a way, like you can with an eight dating, to basically see whether or not someone's interested, or if say you were in the gym and then you're like, Oh, I really want to speak to that person, you can basically go back, I think it's 24 hours, you can log where you've been, um, and you could then send someone a message.
44:17
SPEAKER_03: So whether you've seen them there or it's in a bar or in a supermarket or whatever.
44:20
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
44:20
SPEAKER_03: So it's just doing that in the case.
44:21
SPEAKER_03: By the time.
44:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:23
SPEAKER_03: Initial connection for people.
44:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I must confuse the fuck out of people because you got a mobile.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: But I am not married, never have been.
44:33
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't do anything worse currently.
44:35
SPEAKER_01: Imagine.
44:40
SPEAKER_01: Do you want some good news from around the world?
44:42
SPEAKER_01: Are you doing that before I do my random thoughts?
44:44
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to do random thoughts?
44:45
SPEAKER_01: Then we'll do good news around the world.
44:46
SPEAKER_01: This one's gonna make you laugh.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: Go on.
44:50
SPEAKER_01: Would you consider yourself a pervert?
44:56
SPEAKER_01: I would consider you a pervert.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Consider me a pervert.
44:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:59
SPEAKER_01: Why are you doing a little pervert?
45:00
SPEAKER_03: Why would why do you think I'm a pervert?
45:02
SPEAKER_01: Cast your mind back to Badminton last year.
45:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah?
45:09
SPEAKER_01: What did you who did you try and pick up for me?
45:12
SPEAKER_03: A police officer.
45:14
SPEAKER_03: For you.
45:15
SPEAKER_03: Why does that make me a pervert?
45:16
SPEAKER_03: Why does that make me a pervert?
45:18
SPEAKER_01: Because you're like, oh yeah, oh yeah, he's fit, he's fit.
45:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm calling you a pervert.
45:23
SPEAKER_03: To me, a pervert is like flashing you, get in my van.
45:28
SPEAKER_01: That's not a pervert.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: That's a pervert.
45:30
SPEAKER_01: That's sexual harassment.
45:33
SPEAKER_03: Why do you think I'm a pervert?
45:35
SPEAKER_03: I'm just wing manning you.
45:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh you go fuck yourself, I ain't doing it again.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: No, do you know what was funny about that?
45:42
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
45:42
SPEAKER_01: Is he like, I can't talk to her, I'm on the job.
45:44
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, oh, and then I was there going, hypothetical situation, and you're not on the job.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: What would you think?
45:49
SPEAKER_03: And he's like, I can't say that.
45:50
SPEAKER_03: My supervisor's next to me.
45:51
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, can you just go and supervise someone else?
45:56
SPEAKER_01: I could I'd consider myself a pervert.
45:58
SPEAKER_01: You would?
45:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:00
SPEAKER_01: Let's hang on.
46:02
SPEAKER_01: You think about what I talk about.
46:03
SPEAKER_05: It's just checking someone out.
46:04
SPEAKER_05: That's that that's kind of like you don't have to go hard.
46:07
SPEAKER_05: All the time.
46:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be the definition of a pervert.
46:10
SPEAKER_01: Men or women, I check them all the time.
46:12
SPEAKER_03: Before you go and band yourself around.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: Also pervert.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
46:17
SPEAKER_01: But also, you think about the stuff I talk about, and I just have no filter.
46:24
SPEAKER_01: Which would you consider yourself a pervert?
46:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think I think most men are pervert.
46:28
SPEAKER_03: Should I read out the definition before you both consider yourselves as perverts?
46:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, please change mine.
46:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna change my mind.
46:33
SPEAKER_03: The word pervert functions as both a verb meaning to distort or corrupt something, in which case, yes, I would agree.
46:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:39
SPEAKER_03: However, and a noun referring to a person with socially unacceptable or obsessive sexual behaviours.
46:44
SPEAKER_03: That's me.
46:45
SPEAKER_03: Ergo, I don't think either of you are a pervert.
46:48
SPEAKER_05: We don't cross a line.
46:49
SPEAKER_03: Disruptive, maybe.
46:50
SPEAKER_05: Disruptive.
46:51
SPEAKER_05: But you don't touch.
46:53
SPEAKER_03: Do you have I don't touch anyone?
46:55
SPEAKER_03: Obsessive sexual behaviors?
46:56
SPEAKER_03: Maybe you do behind closed doors, but publicly, this is saying we don't get onto it last week with Lulie, but I got loads.
47:08
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, I therefore would not describe myself as a pervert.
47:11
SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't describe either of you as a pervert.
47:14
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
47:14
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
47:15
SPEAKER_01: Little Perv.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: Before you do good news.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go on.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: Before you do good news.
47:20
SPEAKER_03: You've got another weird question for me.
47:21
SPEAKER_01: I've had golden showers.
47:22
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no.
47:23
SPEAKER_03: Pervert.
47:23
SPEAKER_01: Who's a pervert now?
47:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, shove it up, you hole.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have had a submission that's quite funny.
47:34
SPEAKER_01: It's for you.
47:38
SPEAKER_01: I have a question for Charlie.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: Charlie, longtime listener of the podcast, first time submitting a question.
47:45
SPEAKER_01: Given your well-documented and frankly concerning obsession with slugs, it was me this week, combined with your repeated admission that you have a genuine fear of being chased, I have a hypothetical question for you.
47:58
SPEAKER_01: You are offered 10 million.
48:00
SPEAKER_01: The catch.
48:01
SPEAKER_01: An immortal slug is released somewhere in the world, and for the rest of your life it will relentlessly hunt you down.
48:07
SPEAKER_01: It will always know where you are, it can never die, and it can never stop coming for you.
48:12
SPEAKER_01: You can move country, change your identity, live on a boat, fly to the other side of the world, whatever you like, but the slug will find you eventually.
48:18
SPEAKER_01: And if it ever touches you, you die.
48:21
SPEAKER_01: So do you take the 10 million?
48:23
SPEAKER_01: And if not, what amount of money would you require to willingly spend the rest of your life knowing that somewhere out there a slug is slowly but inevitably coming for you?
48:32
SPEAKER_01: P.S.
48:33
SPEAKER_01: Buzzing for the Martin Mucklow episode.
48:35
SPEAKER_01: P.S.
48:36
SPEAKER_01: Pitcher attached for illustrative purposes.
48:39
SPEAKER_02: Wait.
48:44
SPEAKER_02: Did you make that?
48:45
SPEAKER_01: No! It's submitted by Rich, it's not you, is it?
48:48
SPEAKER_05: No, no, no, it wasn't.
48:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna put it on the Instagram.
48:52
SPEAKER_01: I honestly have no idea who submitted that.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, no idea.
48:56
SPEAKER_02: I do.
48:58
SPEAKER_01: Do you?
48:59
SPEAKER_03: I won't say because it's fun that it's anonymous, but someone said to me, I'm gonna submit something.
49:04
SPEAKER_05: And is it someone you work with?
49:06
SPEAKER_03: I can't say.
49:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh I'm keeping them anonymous.
49:09
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, so the immediate thought of knowing that I'm always being chased gives me anxiety.
49:17
SPEAKER_03: My heart is going like a hummingbird.
49:20
SPEAKER_03: Um 10 mil is a lot of money, but if I'm travelling around the world, it's gonna run out at some point.
49:26
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so here's my thoughts.
49:28
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna take the 10 mil and I'm gonna employ a couple of people who are my bodyguards who carry salt at all times.
49:35
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say a nice ring of salt.
49:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's immortal.
49:38
SPEAKER_02: It's immortal, I can't kill it.
49:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it never dies.
49:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
49:42
SPEAKER_05: But no, it'd just put it off going over the barrier, wouldn't it?
49:44
SPEAKER_01: It never dies.
49:45
SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm gonna hire some security guards who are slug.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: And if it touches you, you die.
49:50
SPEAKER_03: But I'm gonna die at some point anyway.
49:52
SPEAKER_01: I could get hit by bus.
49:54
SPEAKER_01: If not, what amount of money?
49:55
SPEAKER_01: I would say 50 mil so you can at least you can travel all the fucking time.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: No?
50:00
SPEAKER_03: No, I I'd say the 10 mil.
50:02
SPEAKER_03: Alright, fine.
50:02
SPEAKER_03: I could live on that, yeah.
50:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
50:04
SPEAKER_03: If I had to.
50:05
SPEAKER_03: And then yeah, I'd use that money wisely to employ people.
50:08
SPEAKER_03: And I'd also have a like, I don't know, like a therapist or someone helping me to keep my anxiety levels low.
50:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
50:15
SPEAKER_01: I've never had someone be so anxious about hypothetically.
50:19
SPEAKER_03: We know we had zombie chat the other week and you said who'd be the best in the zombie apocalypse, and you said me, because I'd be prepared.
50:24
SPEAKER_03: Because of snacks.
50:25
SPEAKER_03: I love a snack.
50:25
SPEAKER_03: I had two snacks on the hair.
50:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
50:27
SPEAKER_03: But I honestly think that the the anxiety of it would break me first.
50:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair.
50:34
SPEAKER_03: That would break me before the zombies got to me.
50:36
SPEAKER_03: Maybe the anxiety of the slug would kill me before it killed me.
50:39
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
50:41
SPEAKER_03: How's a slug travelling across the sea?
50:43
SPEAKER_03: That's what I want to know.
50:44
SPEAKER_01: Poat.
50:44
SPEAKER_01: I don't, yeah, boat.
50:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh.
50:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:46
SPEAKER_01: Can they swim?
50:47
SPEAKER_01: The picture did make me die though.
50:49
SPEAKER_01: That's we'll have to share that.
50:50
SPEAKER_01: We're sharing that.
50:51
SPEAKER_01: It's so great.
50:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, anyway, I'm happy for you to get all jolly and happy now.
50:55
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:56
SPEAKER_01: Are you are you ready for some reason?
50:59
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready with the jingle ridge?
51:02
SPEAKER_03: Can you just ding ding da the whole time?
51:04
SPEAKER_03: It'll be great.
51:05
SPEAKER_03: Okay, are we ready?
51:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm ready.
51:07
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
51:08
SPEAKER_03: In South Korea, they're testing fast and slow walking lanes for pedestrians to help reduce stress levels.
51:14
SPEAKER_03: Woo! I thought you'd enjoy that.
51:16
SPEAKER_03: I will enjoy that.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: Uh, France have unveiled an artificial heart that can beat forever without the need for a donor.
51:23
SPEAKER_03: Woohoo! Finland have created a pill that eliminates depression in six weeks with no side effects.
51:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, sign me up.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: Depression can't hit a moving target.
51:33
SPEAKER_03: Portuguese doctors have restored the vision of 14 blind people using a seaweed-based eye drop.
51:40
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
51:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's cool, isn't it?
51:41
SPEAKER_03: Shocking.
51:42
SPEAKER_03: And last but not least, the mountain gorilla has reached its largest population in decades.
51:47
SPEAKER_01: Woohoo! Come on, gorillas.
51:49
SPEAKER_03: There's your jolly little news for the week.
51:50
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
51:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, we're gonna fuck off for the week now.
51:53
SPEAKER_03: I guess stay in the country this week, really.
51:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would.
51:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:56
SPEAKER_01: I would.
51:56
SPEAKER_01: That's the ground for it.
51:57
SPEAKER_01: It's my turn, then.
51:59
SPEAKER_01: Until next Friday.
52:01
SPEAKER_03: Stay toxic.