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Finding Hope in Chaos: The Noah Asher Journey · Nightmare Success In and Out

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What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
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Hi, I'm Brent Cassidy, welcome to the Nightmare Success In and
0:07
Out podcast where we explore how to overcome your fears and
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nightmares that set yourself free.
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We're going to be exploring this topic with guys that was in
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Leavenworth with and others who survived their own nightmare.
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These stories can be inspiring, sometimes sad, there's some
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humor, but hopefully you can come away with a nugget of
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something that'll help you knock down some of the prisons you
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built up in your own mind. All right, welcome back.
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Nine more success in and out, listeners, this is where you
0:36
come from. What happens when your worst
0:38
fear becomes your reality? How do you adapt, survive,
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overcome? Set yourself free, folks.
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Don't forget to follow, subscribe, share this thing out,
0:47
like it up. It helps The show really does
0:50
help the show. So who we talking to today?
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Well, I've got Noah Asher and I want to give a shout out to
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Christopher Arrow, who connected us and the connection was is
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Nucleos, which is a company that it's a technology company that's
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focused on re entry services for the justice involved population.
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And you know, particularly for those who are actually in prison
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and they learn on tablets. It's a great I've read about the
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it's a great company. I'm I'm so happy that there is
1:26
something like this is going on. And they also have courses that
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help through re entry help for the job search.
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It's it's just a it's a fantastic and this tablet thing
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that's going on in the prison world is a big deal for people
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who are in state prisons. I'm not sure if it's gotten to
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the federal side yet, but the federal people maybe will get
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there. And and no way he fascinating
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story. He's an award-winning author of
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the book chaos overcoming the overwhelming and you know, I
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think one of the reasons you know, his his book is done
2:00
really well. And it was one of those things
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he talks about that he read in prison.
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And it became a big part of how he, you know, worked with his
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mind and how he's been able to to come out.
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And and this is like giving back, you know, this book for
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people who are wherever they are because, you know, overcoming
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chaos can be in prison. It can be, you know, childhood
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problems. It can be divorced.
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It can be losing your job. It can be anything.
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But it gives hope. And nobody has a lot of that.
2:37
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Auto Plaza Direct. Tell them Brent from Nightmare
3:18
Success sent you. Noah Asher welcome in.
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How are you my man? Thanks for having me, Brent.
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It's so nice to finally get to have this conversation with you
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and and talk more about all that has happened.
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But also, I have to first have to say, I wish I would have
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heard that was your sponsor before we started because I just
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bought a car and my book is called Chaos, and let's just say
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it was the most chaotic experience of my life.
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But that's what we're done. What is it, though, about buying
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cars? You know, you know, people can
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create companies, they they can do all these.
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But it seems like you just like shrink into this bubble when you
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go into to buy a car and it's like you're like in no man's
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land. But yeah, I mean, I'm always
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happy when I get the car, you know?
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But yeah, it's it's you got to walk through a lot to get there.
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Yeah, it's, but it's like when I leave the lot, I'm so happy to
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just be done through that process.
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So happy. Yeah, I would have done anything
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to get out of there and so, and I did.
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I gave up my credit. I gave up my social.
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Security, you gave up everything.
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For the for that. So, yeah.
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So just went through that actually.
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So Noah, you do a lot of work and using your life experience
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and, and, and really pushing that all back in and helping
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people who are going through their own chaos in life as far
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as like letting the people know they were or watching,
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listening, going back. Can you tell us a little bit
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about what it was like for, you know, where you grew up, mom,
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dad, siblings? What was life like for you as a
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kid growing up? Oh man, I actually had an
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amazing childhood. Like my mom and dad loved me.
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I had two brothers that we fought with, but like in a
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healthy way, you know, just that sort of typical family growing
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up had never didn't have a meal, you know, and we lived a little
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bit below our means just so we could travel more.
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Our family believed in that whole heartedly and I loved
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that. And that's something I still
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live by today. And so that all played a big
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role in my life. But then when I was in middle
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school at the age of 13, I had someone take advantage of me.
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And it just started this spiraling out of shame for me,
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which led to alcohol. And eventually, when that wasn't
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doing the job, it led to pills before I knew it, found myself
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inside a jail cell at the age of 20.
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And that, that moment, I'll never forget that moment sitting
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there. And you and I talked about it
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before he got started about your, your circumstance.
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But as you were getting ready to take that plea and I'll never
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forget sitting in that cell, I put a sheet around my neck.
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I tried ending it all because I thought, you know, there's no
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coming back from this. This is it.
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And no matter what happens when I leave this cell, the mug shot
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is there, like everything is there.
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It's over with. And I truly thought that life
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was over. And spoiler alert, Brent, I'm
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here today. So obviously I did not work.
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So, but you know, even in that moment, I can laugh about it
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now, but in that moment, I was even upset with myself.
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I'm like, man, I can't even do that right, You know?
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So here I am. I'm going through all these
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things. But then I just had this moment
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of clarity where I was like, I can't change where I am
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physically. I can change where I am mentally
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and spiritually. Did that happen for you, Noah,
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in the jail cell at that time period?
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And, and I'm curious about because you know what you just
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spoke about a couple different things.
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You just spoke about a lot of people don't talk about, you
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know, somebody taking advantage of you at 1314 years old.
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It happens a lot. And it's, it's like one of those
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secrets that everybody keeps, you know, under the covers and
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nobody talks about it. As a kid at that age, did
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anybody, were you able to share that with anyone or was it all
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contained with you at a 1314 year old age that you were just
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carrying that yourself? It was contained and later on,
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as I was getting older through high school, we found out that
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this person that was in college age was doing it to multiple
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people. So we kind of had that bond.
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Some of the people who have been through that experience, nothing
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ever happened to that guy. So like it's just kind of what
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it is, what it is, but at the same time, I did not open up
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with about it for so long. In fact, in my book Chaos, I
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don't spend too much time talking about that because I
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want that book to be something else.
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But currently, like we're finishing up this new book and
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man, it hits the subject of baggage really heavily.
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And I was like, I have to deal with this baggage if I'm going
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to tell other people to deal with their baggage.
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So we we dive into it really heavily.
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And I think and the other thing you and I were were sharing what
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we got. Sometimes I just think we should
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just hit the record button when we're warm when I'm talking.
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But you know, both of us were sharing back and forth the the
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idea of that rock bottom moment when you've everything's so dark
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that you just think it should end.
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How can you ever come back from it?
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And you know, both of us are also lucky that that didn't
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happen. And, you know, it's a it's a
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dark place that you never want anybody to go to.
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But if you can share with people how that happened to you, what
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got you out of that, that does give people hope that OK, well,
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I'm not just crazy. I can I can step out of this.
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So in that jail cell at 20 years old, was it something that, and
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I'm assuming that the, the, the arrest centered around the drugs
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and things that you were in? Is that, is that how you got to
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that? So your brothers, your mom, your
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dad, how did they play into all of that when that moment
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happened? My brothers were already so much
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older than me and they were at this point living all over the
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country. But my mom and dad, I mean just
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rock stars of parents, never left.
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My side was always there. My mom played a big role and so
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did my dad both in that experience, understanding that
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what unconditional love really was, understanding that they
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didn't care what I went through, what I did, what I didn't do,
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what I was, you know, going through.
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All they cared about was me and making sure they knew that I was
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loved and that I was cared for. And that's just amazing.
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And and something you mentioned a minute ago is like there's
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something about people sharing their stories that is so
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important to me because I think like I don't want to hear about
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someone telling me how to fight a battle they've never fought
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and they've never won. Like that's not something I want
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to hear from, you know, hearing a self help book from somebody
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about prison. He's never been to prison.
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It's like, I probably won't read that book because it's like, I
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want somebody who's can prove to me that they've been where I've
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been and that they've walked where I've walked and that
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they've made it through on to the other side.
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And so that's why I believe in sharing my story.
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And that's why I love podcasts like this, because you can hear
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stories of people who are like, wow, that's me.
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I was there. Yeah, so true.
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I, in fact, I had somebody that contacted me that was listening
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to last week's episode, and it was Tanya Pierce.
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And she had gone through, you know, one of those horrific
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battles in life, big real estate person in New York gets a knock
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on the door. Her whole life changes.
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She thinks she's going to jump off the Washington Bridge, you
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know, in, in New York because she's just, she can't, she can't
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think. And then she stops and thinks,
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Oh my God, I've got, you know, my one year old kid, I've got
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things to live for. And now she's going to law
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school. And this person called me and
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and said, listen, I just listened to this and I've been
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holding off on do I belong? Will they let me in?
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Can I get in? Because, you know, I've had this
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prison sentence and they connected and, you know, now
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he's going to go through the whole process and she's going to
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help him. And that's the stuff I love
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about, you know, people who have somewhat of shared experiences
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that can help someone else take that next step.
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Because it it's, you know, the fear of the unknown is the scary
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stuff. Once you start finding out what
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the unknown is, you can step through it.
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Yeah, as a Christian, there's a there's a story in the Bible
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about this guy named Jacob who wrestles with God.
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He has a limp. He walks away different than
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when he first got there. And I used to always tell people
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like, I don't trust people that don't have a limp.
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You know, people don't have that moment where they hit, like you
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said, rock bottom, where they just had this moment of
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wrestling and where everything is just felt like life was over.
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Like those are the people that I want to talk to.
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Those are the people that I connect well with.
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And you know, in fact, when I wrote the book Chaos, I had many
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people were like, oh, from from prisoner to published author.
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And I was like, oh, wait, let's not make that the ongoing like
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title of everything, because I don't want to just find all of
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my identity and that one word, you know, prisoner, inmate or
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any of that. I wanted to be, I wanted this
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book to be something that was so much more about, yes, that, but
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also went through diagnosis with diagnosis with lupus.
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I lost my father. Like when we were finishing up
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the editing of this book and I realized, you know, like right
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now as we're filming this, as this airs, what you're going to
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find is somebody's planning a wedding while someone else is
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planning a funeral and someone else is planning a graduation
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while another is taking a mug shot.
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You know, like all of this is happening all at once and it's
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chaos. And I wanted to write something
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that could lean into that and say, hey, listen, whatever your
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chaos is, there is a way to overcome that which overwhelms
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us. And so that's really what my
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whole goal in life is, to just give that sort of hope to
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people. Well, and it's it's and hope is
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is such a you know, that's the biggest thing in Shawshank
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Redemption is hope. And that's how they end the
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movie is I hope with red. So at 20 years old, no, I think
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you said you got a three-year sentence, right.
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And as far as how, how did you walk into prison as a 20 year
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old? Did you have any rhyme or, or or
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strategy of what you're walking into this unknown world you
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didn't think you were going to walk into?
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Like what was your mindset walking into that?
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I would say that I've seen movies like with Will Ferrell
14:25
get hard. So I was ready.
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No, not already, but I was. So I was so worried about the
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fight being in the courtroom and I was so not worried about the
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fight of like the cell. And I know that sounds.
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No, that's interesting. That is really interesting.
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So you were more fearful of the courtroom and that whole
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experience than the next stage that would be possible prison
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time. Yeah, most definitely.
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And what's funny is everywhere I went, like when it was jail,
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prison, wherever I it was just like I was so blessed and so
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honored to have like people that would come around me and I'm
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just short little guy, but people would come around me like
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the biggest of, of dudes. And they would just be like, I
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would say something and be kind of smart, be kind of funny.
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And they would just like, oh, you're funny like we have with
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you, you know, like that sort of thing.
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And then just like anything you need let me know.
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And, and one time I got I was in this cell and we all had our
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individual cells just the way the the gel was set up.
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But we're all like in the same room, but you can't really see
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each other. So anyway, Long story short, I
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stopped talking and they were all just talking whatever.
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And they knew I was just sad because this is all fresh, this
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is all new. And all of a sudden one of the
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guys goes how you Stew? And I was like, who are they
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talking to? And he's like, Stu.
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And I was like, who are you talking to me?
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They're like, yeah, you. And I said, why, Stuart?
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They're like Stuart Little. They were calling me.
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And then like, when I would be really sad, they would be like,
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Stuart, because, you know, being short, they're like, don't,
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don't you be thinking about jumping off that top bunk?
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And it would just make me laugh. And I'm like, this is so funny
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that we can find something to laugh about even in the most
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chaotic moment. And I realized that jail,
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prison, all of that, so hopeless, so helpless, and
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definitely so humorless. And that's why anything that
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people will see about me when it comes to the book, when it comes
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to my podcast, everything we do, always those three things of
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hope, help, and humor, because I realize how much those are
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lacking, but also how important they are while going through
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this. I couldn't agree more.
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And strangely enough, there is humor in prison.
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You know, there's, there's funny nicknames, you know, they're
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the, you know, just I, I remember we used to sit on this
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place outside. I was at Leavenworth and there
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was this kind of like loading dock and you could see
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Metropolitan Ave. across and there was this little restaurant
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and we sounds really stupid. Now we go back and we sit on
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these milk cartoons crates and we would pretend like we were
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ordering off the menu and what we were getting off the menu.
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And it sounds like it's just stupid, but it was hilarious
17:14
because people would come up with the craziest stuff that
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they wanted and you know, the what what they were going to
17:20
eat. And this could go on for, you
17:24
know, over an hour or so. Just pretend like they're
17:27
ordered for the restaurant. And it's what I told you earlier
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before we started is, is, is literally like trauma bonding,
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Like we're just bonding together over something.
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And it's like, let's just laugh through it.
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I, I rather laugh than cry any day.
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I think my therapist would call that a coping mechanism.
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So definitely what my coping mechanism is.
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I rather, you know, say a joke. I mean, at my dad's funeral,
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like I shared a joke. And I mean, like my friends were
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all thinking it was hilarious. Like my brother's friends did
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not think it was funny, but it was just like they because my
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friends knew like, that's my humor.
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Like that's how I make it through those hard moments.
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And, you know, it works a lot of times.
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Sometimes it doesn't work. And I remember being locked up
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and we had this big old woman who was an officer and it's like
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we got through buzzed through like 10 different gates.
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That's an exaggeration. Probably more like 6, but.
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Felt like 10. Sound.
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Yeah. Sound like a politician.
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I'm using hyperboles here. So we went through so many
18:28
different gates, but we were buzzed through on all of them to
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go to the library. And finally we get to the
18:33
library and this big old woman, she's just like, you're not
18:35
going in and you're not going to the library today.
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And she kept saying library. And finally I was like, cool,
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but what about the library and the people I was with?
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It was like, dude, just stop like.
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You know. Sent it all.
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I was like, yeah, let's just go, let's just go back.
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But like, that's my only way of knowing how to like combat.
18:55
I like that. I mean that for a lot of people
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that's, that's a great coping thing because it's very
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disarming too, right? Yeah.
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And it brings people in together.
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If you can laugh together, there's a lot of things you can
19:06
do together. Oh yes, tears down walls you
19:09
didn't even. Know it tears down walls because
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there's commonality built on being able to laugh at a certain
19:14
thing together, right? The you said you read a lot in
19:18
prison. Yes, a lot of people read
19:21
fiction, you know, if it's a big escape, you know, the I think of
19:24
all the different, you know, fiction books.
19:27
But you talk about, yeah, you read some fiction, but you read
19:30
non fiction. And can you walk us through a
19:32
little bit of that as far as what you were doing and and
19:35
reading at those times? Yeah, I'll I'll first preface
19:38
with I'll always like to tell listeners who can see this
19:41
inside prisons on their tablets. I was pre tablet days, but it's
19:45
it's still it's even more true for you now.
19:47
If you're listening to this on the inside.
19:49
Life does not start when your sentence ends.
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Life is now. You can be productive now, yes,
19:54
just like you watch TV to unwind.
19:57
There are great needs and and fiction, but I love non fiction
20:01
books that stretch me, grow me, develop me in different ways.
20:05
And for me as a Christian, again, I I preface with that by
20:09
saying one of my favorite. Pastors and writers of all time.
20:15
His name is Mark Batterson and he says all ologies point back
20:18
to theology. And I, I love that concept that
20:23
whatever, if I look at the intricacies of the brain, which
20:25
is neurology and I see how crazy the wires are up there and how
20:31
intricate it really is, it points back to, oh, man, there
20:35
has to be a God. Like this is just too crazy not
20:37
to be. And so looking at all of those
20:40
things, astrology, you know, just even just looking at the
20:42
stars in the sky and going, wow, the same God of the cosmos is
20:47
the God who is close to me today.
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And so I leaned into that. I, I read a lot of different
20:52
subjects when it comes to nonfiction.
20:54
One of my favorite things are like BIOS on people who have
20:58
made, you know, big strides in our country as well as our
21:01
world. So people like Abraham Lincoln,
21:04
good old Honest Abe, that's my boy.
21:06
Like, that's my guy. Like, I love reading stuff about
21:08
him just because he struggled with depression.
21:12
He struggled and he fought a battle every day that seems
21:17
invisible to a lot of people. Yet he pushed on.
21:22
And one of the things that he did to push on was humor.
21:25
Actually, all of his friends will actually say like you can
21:28
tell when he was struggling the most because he tried to make
21:32
people laugh the most in those seasons.
21:35
And so love, love Abraham Lincoln.
21:37
So I would read a lot of books like that really just to stretch
21:39
me, to grow me. And again.
21:41
I'd inspire you, you know, that's you can, you can get
21:45
inspired by somebody else's BIOS because you can also pick out
21:49
different things like, oh, well, that's a little bit like me.
21:51
If I did that. Yeah, I could do this.
21:53
Yeah. Well, I want to talk about when
21:59
you started thinking about, you know, that whole thing of, of,
22:04
of getting out, You know, that, that there's, I think there's a
22:07
time period that happens. I know what happened for me
22:09
when, when I was in, I, I about six months to get into the door.
22:15
I started really thinking, wow, I, I, I've got to, I got to, I
22:19
got to get ready for this. You know, I've got, but there's
22:22
a certain kind of anxiety, which is strange because you would
22:25
think, well, everybody's just, you know, no thought about it
22:28
ready to bolt. And everybody wants out of
22:30
prison. But there are a lot of things
22:31
that go in. It's like what, how are things
22:33
going to be? What am I going to do?
22:36
Will people see me the same way? All these things that just twirl
22:39
in your mind. I want to get into that.
22:42
Take a break here. But when we get back, I want to,
22:45
I want to talk about what your mindset was about the whole
22:49
reentry thing, because you've done so much since you've been
22:51
out. I want to kind of get into your
22:53
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24:00
For more information, go to prisonist.org.
24:03
It's prisonist.org. So Noah, you, I know we all had
24:09
this weird thing that happens is that you get kind of into these
24:13
routines, right? Like crazy routines in prison.
24:17
And especially like if they lock something down and then you're
24:19
out of your routine, everybody's like, Oh my God, what am I going
24:21
to do? But then the idea that, wait, I,
24:23
I know approximately when my out date's going to be What, what
24:27
did you start thinking as you got kind of used to your world,
24:33
the unknown world became known. What were your thoughts about
24:36
how you were going to exit? Yeah.
24:38
So I'll say that because I had such a short sentence, I always
24:43
kind of felt like I was 1 foot in, one foot out.
24:45
And my family helped with that feeling of, you know, sending me
24:48
stuff. You know, one of my friends,
24:52
Marcus Bullock, he's amazing guy has flick shop and that's what
24:55
they do. It's like they make sure they
24:56
send like pictures to people inside really to give them that
25:00
feeling that this is what you have to look forward to.
25:03
And so I always felt like I was halfway in, halfway out always,
25:06
which is the best way for me to deal with it.
25:09
I'm not saying that's the solution for everyone, but I do
25:13
remember my counselor, I was a little different than saying,
25:16
here's my end date. This is where I'm getting out
25:19
because they came to me about 8 months early and said we are
25:24
going to put you in a transitional center.
25:27
And so at the transitional center, I was there and then I'm
25:31
I know when my final end date was did.
25:34
You know what the transitional center was?
25:37
I yeah, I asked my counselor for it because people on the inside
25:41
were telling people, oh, that's where it's at, you know, that
25:43
sort of thing. And so I'm a big proponent of
25:47
transitional centers and halfway houses now because I do think
25:51
they, everyone gets out feeling like they're three steps behind
25:55
or more. And a transitional center at
25:58
halfway house actually says, let's get you a few steps closer
26:02
to the same level playing field as everyone else.
26:05
And so a big proponent of that is getting a job and things like
26:10
that. So I'm a big supporter of that.
26:13
But while I was at the transitional center, my
26:15
counselor said, Hey, you're actually going home a little
26:17
early. They'll just put you on like
26:19
parole for a few months and then you're you're good.
26:22
And I was like, cool. And I was so excited.
26:24
I was like, yay pizza, yay chicken tenders.
26:27
But then I was like, like, everything I've heard from
26:30
people on the inside are like, Oh, the system's against you.
26:34
And how many times do you hear, Oh, the system's against you?
26:36
And for so long I was like, wow, I took a, a three-year sentence,
26:40
but then I really take a life sentence.
26:42
I was so I was terrified just because of all the things I
26:46
heard. And so like as a praying person,
26:49
like I'm praying every day before, like even close to
26:54
getting out, I'm sitting there every day.
26:55
I'm praying for my my future probation officer like literally
27:00
no lie wrote him a letter before I even knew who it would be.
27:04
Just giving like this sort of prep in that sense.
27:08
I was, I was trying to prepare for what I with what I could.
27:14
Like I knew probation was going to be a thing.
27:16
So I was like, how do I best set myself up for that?
27:20
How do I read books about re entry?
27:22
How do I do things that can set me up?
27:25
And so that was one of the biggest things that I did was
27:31
really prepare in the sense of saying, OK, this is what I'm
27:36
going to have to do to be on probation.
27:38
One of the things is finding a job.
27:40
What kind of job am I OK with? What is like my just straight
27:43
up, no, you know what I mean? Like what, what does not do?
27:46
What am I OK with doing? What would I love to do and how
27:50
do I work toward that? And so I think a lot of times
27:53
people get out and they look at the top of the stairwell and
27:56
they're going, oh, wow, this is just overwhelming.
27:58
I give up and they recidivize. If that's how you say it, they
28:02
recidivize. And the, the thing that I love
28:06
teaching is that it's just look at the one step, complete that
28:11
one step and then work on Step 2.
28:13
Then Step 3. Before you know it, you're going
28:15
to look back and go, I made it. Don't overwhelm yourself.
28:19
Eat the elephant. Abide at a time.
28:21
You said something there and I don't want I don't want to gloss
28:24
over it, Noah, because you were almost doing re entry, getting
28:30
out like it was an exam that you needed to to learn up on right?
28:35
And you were creating a plan for yourself like here's what I can
28:41
do. Here's what I won't do Here's if
28:43
I'm going to do this, how could I get to that?
28:45
And then you you started learning into that.
28:49
That's such a big deal because what you said was, is you feel
28:52
like your three steps, it's like jumping in a moving car when you
28:55
get out, right? It's like everybody froze time
28:59
inside and then you jump out and you try to figure out where
29:02
everybody else is and you know you're behind.
29:05
But one thing that can change that not solve it but but put
29:11
you further into where you want to be is what you just talked
29:14
about. Thinking about what is it I'm
29:18
good at? What could I, what could I go,
29:20
and what can I read up on that would give me more knowledge
29:23
about that? Yeah, and, and keep it
29:25
realistic. You know, I I've heard people
29:26
who are like, I'm going to get out six figure jobs and like is
29:30
and that's cool if you want to work toward that.
29:31
But to realistically say that that's going to be your first
29:34
job is wild. Like that's just not a thing.
29:36
Like we have to do what Cardi B says.
29:38
It says pick up. She says pick up a bucket and a
29:40
mop, you know, and I won't finish the rest of those lyrics.
29:44
I can't believe I quoted Cardi B on your podcast.
29:46
But the bottom? Line my middle father Carly is a
29:49
cardi. She can she can wrap it.
29:51
So I, I know a little bit Cardi B.
29:53
There you go. But like we have to be fine with
29:55
that. Like my first job was in a
29:56
hotel, a very popular hotel chain.
29:59
They hired me for front desk and.
30:01
I love this story by the way. I hope you tell the whole thing.
30:05
And like, but I remember one of my first times, like working
30:08
like we had a drunk person and they vomited all over the
30:11
elevator. So I'm like literally picking up
30:13
a bucket and a mop and like cleaning up someone's vomit,
30:17
like from day one of getting out.
30:19
And I'm like, this is my future is bright, you know, like this.
30:23
Here I am. Here I am, I've made it, you
30:26
know, and, but I, so I worked for this hotel.
30:28
I was at the front desk for three weeks before they promoted
30:31
to me the general manager, which is just wild.
30:34
Oh I know. I'm glad you brought up the
30:36
story because I had it written down it.
30:38
Crazy story that happened, right?
30:40
Like soon when you got out, right?
30:42
Yeah, so fun to act like the hotel was close to a movie
30:46
theater. And my mom, again, mom and dad
30:50
were amazing. They knew it could take some
30:53
time to get a job, but they also wanted to help me kind of like
30:57
implement back into the like the real world again.
31:00
And one thing is like I'll always have loved movies.
31:04
And so I had like this movie pass thing where you could go
31:06
see like 2 movies a week or something.
31:09
And so like the hotel was by the movie theater and I was like,
31:12
well, I'll just walk in there and put in my application and go
31:15
from there. And they hired me on the spot.
31:19
And then it just kind of trickled in.
31:20
But what I love is to get the front desk position.
31:24
They don't have to do a background check.
31:26
Sounds good. They did the background check
31:28
when they wanted to promote me, the general manager.
31:30
General Manager. But because of the three weeks I
31:33
spent with them, which isn't a long time, but your character
31:37
doesn't need a long time to develop if you're just, that's
31:39
who you are. And so I, I, I challenge people
31:42
like live, like lean into that and show integrity from day one.
31:48
And IT integrity in three weeks means a lot to people,
31:52
obviously. Absolutely.
31:53
And so when they pulled my background, they're like, you
31:56
know, like a felon, you know, like a criminal.
31:59
Oh. My God, he's right here.
32:00
You're right. Yeah.
32:01
I'm like, here I am in flesh. But no, I remember having that
32:05
moment with the, the owner and I'll never forget, she said to
32:08
me, she said, you know what? I've, I've seen who you are.
32:13
And bottom line is I don't care where you've been.
32:16
I care where you are and where you're going.
32:18
And that gave me so much fuel for my re entry game.
32:23
And like I, I, I leaned into that and I was like, now I'm
32:27
devoted to her. Like I want to make sure the
32:29
business is succeeding. My first year's GM, we went
32:32
$300,000 more in revenue for the year than they experienced the
32:37
past few years. I mean, it was just going crazy
32:40
because I gave it my all like she.
32:42
She gave you a lot of confidence too, no?
32:44
Yes, yeah. And she believed in me.
32:46
I was like, I she's she's been loyal to me.
32:48
I want to be loyal to her. I leaned into that.
32:50
I ended up getting moved up to being director of operations for
32:54
12 properties, which means I had 12 GMs that were under me that
32:59
answered to me. And I will never forget.
33:01
Like one of my biggest things was I was like, you know what?
33:04
I want us. This is right around COVID.
33:06
I was like, I want us to hire from transitional centers and
33:08
halfway houses. And they're like, what, why?
33:12
And some of these people didn't know my story and it wasn't
33:14
theirs to know at this point. I'm their boss now.
33:17
I'm just kidding. But it was just like, there's no
33:19
reason to share that. But I remember telling them that
33:22
and I told them I said, think about it.
33:24
You all need employees right now.
33:27
These people have to come to work.
33:28
Like if they can't just say, I don't feel good today because
33:32
they're tired, that's not an excuse.
33:34
Like the officers are like, get your butt up, get dressed.
33:37
You're going in. And so I was like, they're going
33:40
to be the most faithful employees for you, that you're
33:44
going to show up when they're expected to be there.
33:47
Let's hire. And so Long story short, I
33:50
remember being at one of the properties one day and this guy
33:52
came to me. He had tears in his eyes.
33:54
He had done 25 years inside, 20 or 25.
33:57
I'm pretty sure he's 25. But he said to me, he said, I
34:01
know it was you who pushed for for like this program.
34:05
And he worked in the laundry. And he said, I'm just so
34:08
thankful you gave me this opportunity.
34:10
And I looked at him without even batting an eye.
34:11
I don't even think about it. I said, man, I don't care where
34:15
you've been. I care where you are and where
34:17
you're going. And then I had tears in my eyes
34:21
because I was like, wow, what a full circle moment of saying,
34:24
yeah, I've extended the grace that's been extended to me.
34:28
And to see lives change like that, that's everything to me
34:31
because that's what I want to see happen every day, is that
34:34
there's this hope that there are people out there that believe in
34:39
us to to bring it back to what we talked about earlier, like
34:42
being inside and coming home. These people were like, the
34:44
system's against you. And hearing all this
34:46
hopelessness. I was like, man, this is the
34:49
scariest thing ever, but it should be the happiest moment
34:52
that I'm going home and finding people to believe in me and to
34:59
give me that chance was everything.
35:02
And you know, the reality is this, you're going to come out
35:05
and, and people are going to put in 11 applications and get
35:09
turned down 11 times. Well, then put in the put in the
35:12
12th one, put in the 13th one. Keep putting them in because one
35:17
day you will find that person who says, you know what?
35:20
I don't care where you've been. I care where you are and where
35:23
you're going. I love that.
35:25
No, I love that story and and that one of the things that you
35:29
said while you're telling that story is is that there's a huge
35:32
misconception about people who get out.
35:36
They do make not everybody 'cause there's you can't take,
35:40
you know, everybody and say the word everybody.
35:42
But for a lot of people who are are are trying the hard world of
35:48
re entry and the barriers they have this eagerness to get back
35:54
in to someone who just believes that they deserve a chance.
35:58
And that makes a really good person at work because they want
36:02
to show, hey, I'm out, I'm real. I'm trying to make it.
36:07
And you know, that's if somebody if if more businesses would know
36:12
that there's a lot of people that are unemployed that are
36:16
trying to make it out of re entry, that can make great
36:19
people for your business because they have that one and that
36:23
drive. That's different.
36:25
Say it enough if you're on the outside now and that's like your
36:28
story listener, like you need to understand that you can pave the
36:32
way for that person who's still locked up right now, but it's
36:34
coming home soon because you need to be the one that makes
36:38
that difference and pay that way.
36:39
Now for me, I'm telling you, the reason that they believed in me
36:43
too was right off the RIP. I was 5 minutes early or more
36:48
every day to my shift. At first it was someone called
36:52
out, call me, I'll take the shift.
36:54
And at the time, I'm not saying this as a clout thing, but I was
36:58
just, I'm honored and I was thankful that my parents didn't,
37:01
you know, they could help me a little bit along the way because
37:03
I, I moved back in home, you know, into my house to my
37:06
parents home. And so my point is I wasn't
37:09
saying, oh, let me pick up every shift because I needed the
37:12
money. It was more of picking up the
37:14
shifts to show them like, I'm here, I'm, I'm in this to win
37:17
this. All of those sort of
37:19
characteristics is what led to them saying, oh, this guy like,
37:23
yeah, he's maybe got something to prove for himself or to the
37:27
world, I don't know. But he's in it and let's let's
37:30
give him a chance. And then that's why it kept
37:32
working. And now people are still being
37:35
hired that have felony convictions.
37:38
Yeah. You opened up a door.
37:40
Right. And so listener like show up to
37:43
work today. Like show up to work be be
37:46
early. Being 5 minutes early is
37:48
literally on time. If you're on time, you're late.
37:51
And so get there and show them how devoted you are not only to
37:55
getting a paycheck, but doing a good job while you are there.
38:00
Good point. So you, you, you didn't take
38:04
over the hotel world. What was your next step?
38:07
Yeah. So what we talked about earlier
38:08
about having some some big dreams and some goals of things
38:12
that I wanted to do later on. And one was writing, one was
38:17
owning a business and and helping authors.
38:20
Those sorts of things is what I wanted to do with my life.
38:23
But I knew I had to start somewhere and I didn't know it
38:26
was the hotel, but that's where it ended up and it's open doors.
38:29
And then now about two years ago or so, maybe a little two years
38:35
and some change, I decided to finally leave it all, start my
38:39
business, lean into helping consult and work with authors
38:43
and help them market their books, get their books out to
38:47
the world. Something I always like to tell
38:49
people is like, we want to help build their platforms.
38:51
So all they have to do is stand on it and share their message.
38:55
And so we've been able to do that.
38:57
And then I published my book. It came out and 15 months ago,
39:02
and in about 15 months we've reached 1.4 million people with
39:05
the book. Which is amazing because it's
39:08
hard. It's, it's hard to get a book
39:10
out there. I mean, I, I wrote a book and
39:12
and it's, it's very cathartic to write a book anyway.
39:16
But to get to that 1.4 million that there's you're talking
39:21
about, you know, very small percentage of people who unless
39:24
they're rich and famous and they've got somebody that's
39:26
ghostwriting and they just put books out there.
39:28
Yeah. But yeah, book like chaos.
39:31
I mean, you've got to have you got to create some momentum
39:33
behind it and the way it's marketed and your message needs
39:35
to be clear and all those different things, which I'm sure
39:37
you're able to, to blend in to other authors now because you
39:42
walked it and know it. You know, I was the other thing
39:46
though, I was wanting to get back to is, is that, and I had
39:49
to look this up because I really, I've heard of the word
39:52
lupus, but I didn't really know what that meant.
39:56
I know is autoimmune systems and that but I didn't know exactly
40:00
what it was and. When you, you had to go through
40:04
a whole process of that, it hasn't been that long ago, 3-4
40:08
years ago, right? How did you, how did you deal
40:13
with work through that? Because it's not something that
40:15
you, you heal. It's something that you can live
40:19
with and be treated. Yeah.
40:21
It's it's an ongoing issue, but you know, I quoted Cardi B
40:24
earlier, so now let me quote Kelly Clarkson.
40:27
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
40:29
And I've already been through like the most chaotic moment of
40:32
my life, which was prison. And so every other thing at that
40:37
point was like, oh, these are like I, I went through World War
40:41
three in prison. These are just little battles.
40:44
Like these are nothing in comparison.
40:46
Now it's not too shy away and say they weren't anything at
40:49
all. Like when my dad died, for
40:51
example. I mean, it was like the worst
40:53
moment. I found him dead.
40:55
It was just a horrific moment. I remember sitting there crying
40:58
days after his funeral going, you know, Dad, you're always
41:01
there for me. And when I needed to be there
41:03
for you, I was late. And those moments are hard to
41:07
deal with. But like for lupus, it started
41:10
messing up as an autoimmune, as you said, as an autoimmune
41:13
disease. The doctors didn't know what was
41:15
going on. I mean they for a while thought
41:16
it was cancer and this is not something where they go, could
41:20
it be cancer and then they run a test and they tell you 5 minutes
41:23
later. No, they tell you 2 weeks later.
41:25
I'm going to wait. Cool.
41:27
Yeah. And so that's easy, right?
41:30
All that waiting. And so insert sarcasm there.
41:34
But it's it's annoying to deal with.
41:37
And I remember finally they sent me to this rheumatologist, like
41:42
this specialist, and she identified it.
41:45
She said, this is lupus and I said, cool, now that we have a
41:48
name for it, how do we fight it? Like, how do we make this
41:51
happen? And she said, well, there's no
41:54
cure for it. I was like, great, thanks.
41:58
You know, thanks for the for the advice and the amount of money I
42:01
just spent to be here today. But cool, this could have been a
42:04
televisit. So I was still struggling.
42:08
They tried different medicines and I was still working for the
42:12
hotel at the time and I remember I would go and check some of the
42:15
rooms in a wheelchair, like I was being wheeled around in a
42:17
wheelchair because I could not walk.
42:20
Yeah, because I mean, the way you explained it to me, start
42:22
off as a rash and then it affected your muscle and then it
42:25
got to the point where you couldn't walk.
42:26
Yeah. And so finally they sent me to
42:31
this other rheumatologist and basically she said we're going
42:34
to put you on chemo. So I was like, cool, so this is
42:36
cancer. And she's like, no, this is a
42:40
treatment that we've seen people do with lupus.
42:44
She said, in fact, like Selena Gomez just went through it.
42:46
And I said, oh, well, she went through it, signed me up.
42:49
Now I'm just kidding. But I was like, if she can do
42:51
it, I can do it. So I went through it and a few
42:55
rounds of treatment, like 4 1/2 hours sitting in a chair with
42:59
nothing to do but on my computer, like typing and
43:01
working. I was still emailing my my boss
43:04
was like, aren't you getting a treatment right now?
43:07
Like stop emailing for work, You know, like take care of
43:10
yourself. I was like, there's nothing for
43:12
me to do. Yeah, I was.
43:15
Literally watching the office on my phone and there's that was
43:18
it. And so Long story short, I went
43:22
from being in a wheelchair to now I run 2 miles every day.
43:26
So it's just, it's crazy. Yes, I still have it, still take
43:30
some medicines and we keep it at Bay.
43:32
It's something that I'll live with.
43:34
But I'm glad you brought this up because it's something that like
43:38
I've learned that that's something I can live with, but
43:41
not let it be what defines me. Then I think when people have
43:46
this nightmare moment and they come on your podcast and they
43:49
talk about their nightmares, there's all of these like
43:52
experiences that we have and we think that that's our identity.
43:55
Like, oh, I'm just this person with lupus or I'm an inmate
43:59
number or I'm a former felon, like I'm all of these things.
44:02
And it's like, you can be more than your worst moment.
44:05
You can be more than what a doctor's diagnosis is.
44:10
And, and I think that's so important to lean into because
44:13
it's like, I love that your show's called the Nightmare
44:17
because I always think, again, I have to go back to scripture
44:19
where it's just the scripture that says there's pain in the
44:22
night, but joy comes in the morning and you have to just
44:25
hold out for the morning. Batman.
44:28
Batman is another great theologian who says it's always,
44:33
it's always darkest before the dawn.
44:34
And it's just that moment of understanding.
44:36
Like, yeah, it's dark right now wherever you find yourself.
44:39
But the dawn is approaching. The dawn is coming.
44:42
And I'll put it this way. I remember being on vacation one
44:46
time and we're on the side of this mountain.
44:48
And for some reason, like, traffic goes both ways, but
44:53
there's only one lane. And so when you come on this
44:56
mountain and you come across someone going in the opposite
44:58
direction, someone has to like, slide over a little bit and let
45:02
the other car go by. It's just wild.
45:05
So scary already on its own. But all of a sudden, I was there
45:08
and it started to rain so heavily that we just had to stop
45:12
because we couldn't see in front of us, beside us or behind us.
45:15
All we could do is just stop and wait out the storm.
45:18
But there was something that happened, storm let up, we could
45:22
see again and we could go forward again.
45:24
So people who listen to this, who feels like their storm is so
45:28
heavy around them that they can't see been in front of them,
45:30
beside them or behind them, I do know this.
45:33
And it's that the storm will let up.
45:35
You can see again, you can go forward again.
45:37
And no matter how dark it is now, the sun will rise and you
45:41
just have to hold out for that sun.
45:43
I love that analogy, you know, and it's like people in storms,
45:46
you adjust the sails and, and you can, you know, weather the
45:49
storm. The other thing that reminds me,
45:52
we've both had Damon West on our on our show and he's did the
45:56
coffee bean book and the coffee bean story is so incredible just
46:00
in its own sense. But one of the statements he
46:04
said was is you, you can't win every battle, but you can learn
46:10
from every battle. So you can fight a battle.
46:14
You might not win it, but you can learn from it.
46:16
And you know, what you're talking about, Noah, is that you
46:21
got a lot of battles that you, you're, you have to come up
46:25
against. And you can, you can battle it,
46:29
learn from it, but you don't have to stop.
46:32
You can continue to move on. And, and, and you don't let it
46:35
define, you know, it's, it's like, you know, it's like when
46:38
somebody was on the show and he's talking about, you know,
46:41
craziness, crazy stuff going on in your head that paralyzes
46:44
people. And he said the problem was, is
46:46
he said I was letting that ride in the front car or in the front
46:49
seat of the car and letting it change all the stations.
46:52
And I one day I just decided I'm going to put all that craziness
46:54
in the back seat still there. I'm just going to let it be in
46:57
the back seat. I'm going to drive the car.
47:00
I'll still have the craziness and the craziness will pop up,
47:02
but he's not going to get to ride in the front seat anymore
47:04
and change all the stations. And you know, I think a lot of
47:07
that has to do with what you were just talking about is it's
47:09
really comes down to how do you handle these situations?
47:13
What's your mindset? How do you plan to get through
47:16
it? And it's not that your plan
47:18
works every time, but if you have a plan, it gets you closer
47:21
to wherever you're wanting to go.
47:22
Yeah. You know, something I learned in
47:24
the hotel industry is that, like, people can sometimes.
47:29
I mean, it's like a toddler where you're like, hey, look at
47:30
this shiny object. Like I have a puppy and like if
47:33
he's playing with something I don't want him to, I just get a
47:35
different TOYI can't say the word out loud because he's in
47:38
the room with me right now. And so he'll jump, but I find a
47:41
different one. I squeak it and like I take his
47:43
focus off of that. And people are the same way.
47:46
And like in the hotel industry all the time.
47:49
I would teach my my leadership team all the time.
47:52
I'm like, you have to be able to shift.
47:55
You have to say when someone comes up to you upset, saying
47:58
why is the pool not heated is set on the website.
48:01
It was heated and you just explain, you apologize.
48:04
I'm so sorry about that. We'll have our maintenance team
48:07
look into that. But I do want to let you know
48:09
our hot tub is up and running. Let me get you some towels
48:12
because it's a great night for a hot tub.
48:14
You know, you like you shift their focus on to something
48:18
else. And I think that that shift or
48:20
that pivot, that pivot moment for people is everything.
48:24
When you go into a job and you're like, it doesn't work.
48:27
Like you don't get hired. You don't just go, well, I lost
48:31
the battle. Cool, do you want to understand
48:34
like we American history one O 1 is that there are many battles
48:39
we have faced, but the only thing that really mattered was
48:41
winning the war. You may win, lose some battles,
48:45
but the war is what you want to win.
48:47
And so when you come across this battle moment and you don't come
48:51
out on top like you wanted to, you don't just lay on your couch
48:54
and say, oh, well, I tried. No, like you pivot, you shift,
48:57
you find that next battle to face that next interview to to
49:02
tackle and you go into that and that's how you win ultimately.
49:07
Such a good message, especially for anybody, anybody who feels
49:10
stuck right now that that's just such a good message is first of
49:16
all, if you quit, you're done. So you can't quit, just step
49:19
into. And I think the other thing
49:21
about stepping is that we all know that the things that scare
49:28
us the most are the unknowns. And nothing is as bad as your
49:31
mind makes it out to be. And, and the, if you're willing
49:34
just to step into the fearful stuff because it's unknown, it
49:37
becomes known. And then you start dealing with
49:39
it and think, oh, that wasn't so bad.
49:40
Whether you're talking about a job interview, whether you're
49:43
talking about something, you just don't know it.
49:44
You didn't know what you were supposed to do at the front
49:46
desk. You just started figuring it
49:48
out. And then you got really good at
49:50
it. And they were like, wait, Noah's
49:52
great. We need to promote him.
49:53
We need to have him teach other people this.
49:56
A lot of people get stuck with, oh, I just don't.
49:59
I've never done that before, so I can't, right?
50:02
And that's a non starter. You know, I, I was, you can be
50:05
honest, but you can also be confident.
50:07
Like I don't know how to use like the learning the PMS system
50:13
is what it's called. Like I don't know how to do that
50:15
PMS system. But if you teach me, I'll, I'll,
50:17
I'll know it like you. You don't have to worry about
50:19
that. Confidence is contagious.
50:21
So if you lean into that confidence, you don't have to
50:23
lie. You can be honest about not
50:24
knowing something, but you can still be confident.
50:27
And that confidence is what has just been able to progress me
50:31
and continue doing things. And the people that I have
50:34
always like moved up the ladder with me are people who I've seen
50:38
that confidence level in, and that means a lot for people.
50:42
Well, and the other thing I was going to say is you, you've got
50:44
a a podcast of your own that's inside out podcast.
50:48
And all the things that you're talking about today are things
50:53
that is, is all about your show with the humor and all the other
50:57
things that are involved with it.
50:58
But a lot of us, you know, overcoming the overwhelming and
51:02
that's if you can get that formula done, you can do a lot.
51:07
You know, Speaking of confidence, how to come in
51:09
confidently with something I knew nothing about my team.
51:11
I'm like, let's do this. And I'm like, none of us
51:14
understand technology when it comes to the podcast world, but
51:18
let's figure it out. Let's do it, let's make it
51:21
happen. And season 1 was so successful
51:23
that we're back with right now Season 2 all new episodes on
51:26
Tuesday. Shout out inside out, the name
51:28
of it. And it's for people inside
51:31
prison and for their loved ones on the outside because of every
51:33
episode. I'm, I always think about my
51:36
moments of feeling hopeless on the inside, but also my mom and
51:40
my dad's moments of feeling hopeless and how like I, I
51:43
didn't grow up with Uncle Jimmy going to prison.
51:46
Like there was none of us in my family who had gone through
51:49
that. And so my parents were, were
51:52
just as blind as I was on this whole experience.
51:55
And so I wanted to create a show that was for them both.
51:58
And it also gives people something to talk about on the
52:00
phone to say, do you watch this week's episode that they can
52:03
have a conversation about it. And again, hope, help and humor.
52:07
We even play a game with our guests, which is a lot of fun.
52:09
We do it very Jimmy Fallon style from The Tonight Show.
52:13
It's just a great time to to really pull people out of that
52:17
moment of mining that they're there, but always point people
52:22
back to people who have who have a message of something to share.
52:27
One of my favorites that we were just looking at that's coming up
52:30
soon is around the subject of identity.
52:33
I have someone who's who's written a book, but also has a
52:37
whole organization are called be known for something.
52:40
And I was like, you know what, normally we have people that are
52:43
re entry focused, but I had to get him on the show because I
52:46
think that that message was something that I saw with people
52:50
inside prisons so heavily is that they don't know what
52:54
they're known for other than what a news outlet may have
52:57
said. The story that they ran however
53:00
long ago we wanted to let them know that they can be known for
53:04
something bigger. Now, I'll put it this way is
53:06
like always go back to The Lion King.
53:09
I love that movie growing up and one of the things that you see
53:12
with the story of Simba is that Simba was going to be king one
53:17
day. He just could not wait to be
53:19
king as literally the song he sings and the only thing holding
53:24
him up, like away from that position was his father was
53:28
still alive. So Scar comes in, Scar goes,
53:31
well, if I move, move fast out of the way, that's only half of
53:34
the equation. To get to be on the throne, I
53:37
have to also get to Simba. But The thing is about our enemy
53:41
is they under the enemy understands he cannot attack Our
53:46
Calling. So he goes after our character.
53:48
And so that's what we see with the story of Simba.
53:50
Scar goes up to Simba and says, hey, Simba, you're a you're a
53:53
liar, or excuse me, you're a failure.
53:55
You're a murderer. You're all these things.
53:58
So what does Simba do? He runs, he flees.
54:01
He forgets who he really is, and he finds these two hippies named
54:05
Tamona Poomba to show him a new philosophy on life, Hakim and
54:09
Matata. But then Mufasa shows up in the
54:11
sky, which I believe is something to do with the bugs he
54:14
was eating, you know, psychedelics here.
54:16
But he has this moment. And Mufasa says, hey, Simba,
54:20
remember who you are. And that's the moment Simba woke
54:24
up, and he ran back to what his calling always was.
54:28
And I think so many times, especially for people who have
54:31
these sort of nightmare stories, is that they find their identity
54:35
in their nightmare. And that's a dangerous place to
54:38
be because when we do that, we lose our purpose, we lose Our
54:42
Calling and we have to find it again.
54:45
And so I think it's so important every episode to remind our
54:48
listeners like, remember who you are and as well as who's you are
54:53
and, and go back into that. And you just said lose yourself.
54:56
So now you're quoting Eminem. So now we're both on the board
54:59
for for musical reference. Well, and I do think that
55:03
there's a thing in prison where, you know, I had this real fear
55:07
about, I've talked about this a lot on the show, but I just real
55:10
fear about the fact I was OK. I'm in Leavenworth prison.
55:13
I know of that. That's that stuff's in the
55:15
movies and stuff. I don't want to turn into prison
55:17
Brent. And I was fearful of that.
55:19
Like, what is prison Brent? Like, what does that mean?
55:21
Now I'm going to be. But my main thing was is I
55:24
didn't want to quit being whatever it was that made me
55:27
feel like me. And you know, I guess it was the
55:31
thing that I wanted to make sure I got a good prison job.
55:33
I wanted to make sure that, you know, I wasn't wasting time.
55:35
I wanted to make sure I was reading as much as I could.
55:37
I wanted to make sure this and that and the other.
55:40
And you know, I know a lot of people are listening to this
55:44
that are in prison, so 1100 prisons.
55:47
So the one thing you don't want to do wherever you are is waste
55:52
time because we only have so much of time and it it doesn't
55:57
do us any good to think, I'll just go ahead and do that some
56:01
other time. I've got plenty of time to do
56:03
that. Because right now is what you
56:04
have and you know, everything that you're talking about
56:08
knowing and your story is, is the example of that.
56:12
You didn't waste any time. You also didn't let things get
56:16
you down. They might, they might have got
56:19
you down for a day, but you got back up like lupus and your dad
56:23
dying. But going to like the broader
56:27
scope of things, going through all that you've gone through.
56:31
I mean, the whole scope of everything.
56:34
What do you think's your biggest take away through all of it?
56:38
When I think about like the nightmares I've been through,
56:41
like the different sort of chaotic moments in life, I think
56:45
what I thought was a season of suffering in that moment was
56:49
really a season of schooling. And in that season of schooling,
56:54
in that time, I could have sat there and been an F student,
57:00
like AD minus student. But instead I pulled out the
57:04
textbooks. I read a bunch, I learned a
57:07
bunch, and I kept leaning into that.
57:11
And that's ultimately what I've learned through this process is
57:16
that through that, through that season of schooling, I've been
57:20
able to take it. And now not only just say I have
57:24
a diploma and a certification and chaos, like I have a diploma
57:29
and certification and in in leading other people and
57:33
educating others in those same deep dark pits that I found
57:38
myself in. And that's ultimately what I
57:41
always want listeners to understand is like, this is that
57:44
perception. There is, is your choice.
57:46
Perception, people say all the time perception is reality.
57:49
That's that's BS. Like perception may be your
57:52
reality in the moment, but perception is not the reality.
57:56
And we have to come back to what is actually happening and what
58:00
is actually truth more than So what is the truth of the media?
58:05
What is the truth of the DA? What is the truth of all of my
58:10
haters? Like we have to lean into what
58:12
is the actual truth and not a truth.
58:15
And when we do that, what we're going to find is that our
58:17
identity is more than our background check.
58:21
Our identity is more than a doctor's diagnosis.
58:25
Our identity is more than that. And because of that, I can live
58:29
in who I feel like I'm supposed to be.
58:32
And I hope that just helps somebody.
58:34
Oh, it's a great message. I mean, it's just spot on.
58:37
I knew you'd have a good one for that Noah.
58:40
So for people who want to get a hold of of Noah, you can go to
58:46
Instagram. It's at the Noah Noah Asher on
58:52
Instagram. You can go to his website,
58:55
itsthenoahasher.com. You can obviously get his book
59:00
chaos and that's over chaos overcoming and over the the
59:04
overwhelming. And I want to and I also want to
59:10
thank Homestead Financial home mortgage here lets me use this
59:13
fancy podcast room. If anybody's got home mortgage
59:16
needs out there, Greg Aftyov is your guy.
59:19
If you want to check out my book, it's a nightmare
59:21
succession, get it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
59:23
And if you want to go to my website, itsbrettcassidy.com.
59:27
I spell it wrong. I spell it with ATY, not a DY as
59:30
I used to say to my people when I was writing my emails back and
59:34
forth from Leavenworth. Stay strong.
59:36
I'll do the same. Noah, I I love your story.
59:40
I love you being a guest here. I love the fact that this is
59:42
going out for people who I'd be out there listening that that
59:46
could be or watching that might be stuck and think, wait, no one
59:50
just said something. I'm going to I'm going to do
59:52
something today. Well, thank you for having me.
59:55
I've really appreciated and honored to be a part of this.
59:58
And yeah, you're not stuck unless you truly stop.
1:00:01
So just keep going, listener. Keep pushing forward.
1:00:03
I can't say that enough. But again, this is not a season
1:00:06
of suffering in your life. This is a season of schooling.
1:00:09
So pull out the textbook. Let's dive in.
1:00:11
Let's learn from it. And come out on the other side
1:00:14
better. Awesome nightmare success in and
1:00:18
out.