Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Content Creep & the Invisible Influence of What Kids Watch

Transcript

Content Creep & the Invisible Influence of What Kids Watch · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: What are your children seeing?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: What are they watching regardless of their age, Where are
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: they seeing it? What is showing up in their lives
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: on their screens? Sex and violence are an all time
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: high in the movies that our children are watching, the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: music that they're hearing, the games that they're playing, and
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: of course.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Their social media feeds.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: If they're over sixteen, and the social media minimum age
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: legislation is working in your household, things cross it is
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and in bad news for moms and dads. A study
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: published in Pediatrics suggests that it is parents who are
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: often unknowingly dropping the ball. We're going to talk about
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: that study, what our children are watching and how we
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: can make sure that they are seeing age appropriate content
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: next on the Happy Families Podcast.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Stay with us.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Gooday, Welcome back to the Happy Families Podcast. Real parenting
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: solutions every single day. This is Australia's mode downloaded parenting podcast.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: We are Justin and Kylie Colson and we are so
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: glad that you have joined us. If you'reknew to the pod, welcome,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: thanks for coming along and having a listen. Today Kylie
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: chat about what the kids are seeing on screens as
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: they get older, which is kind of where we are
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: with our teens. It gets so hard to have any
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: idea at all what's going on.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Well, they're no longer living in our little bubble, the
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: place where we controlled everything.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: They get to do, They get to see things and
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: hear things that we would otherwise have never let them. Yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: all the time.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So today we're going to talk about primarily our six
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: to twelve year olds. We're not going to talk about teenagers.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: We're talking about our children and our tweins. Ideally kids
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: that aren't getting too much screen access, and ideally they're
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: at an age where we have some say in what's
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: going on, we have some level of interaction. I want
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: to tell you about a study, this one that was
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: published in Pediatrics.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: It's fascina.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: The researchers asked a thousand parents of children between six
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: and seventeen. Okay, so we're going right up until adulthood
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: to watch eight movie clips that were randomized in terms
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: of their order, and each clip contained either sexual content
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: or violence, and parents were asked what age their children
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: would have to be before being allowed to watch those scenes.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So this is kind of like when the kids ask
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: us if they can watch something, and we've only got
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: a couple of kids that are still doing that because
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: all of our other children are older. Now we have
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: four children who are eighteen and above. They don't ask
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: us very much at all anymore. But this is over
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: the years when they've said, can I watch this?
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Can I watch that?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: And we've consistently said, since we don't know what these
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: shows are, go and check common sense media. There's websites
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: online where we can find out what's in them.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Well, the great thing is now we have four adult
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: children who have done all of the market research necessary,
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: and they actually police the younger siblings. No, no, you
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: can't watch that to you're at least fourteen.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed to watch that one until I fifteen.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they've kind of made us a bit redundant, to
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: be honest, they had they they're really big on making
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: sure that the younger siblings don't get to do anything
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: too early.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I had a funny experience just before I go back
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: to this study.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: In the last couple of weeks, we.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Were looking for a movie to watch on a quiet
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Friday night Saturday night. We were just all exhausted. Everyone, everyone
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: was like, can we please just watch a movie? And
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: the kids spent I reckon forty minutes arguing about a
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: movie to watch.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Well, we need to put this in perspective. We have
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: an eleven year old sitting on the couch next to
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: a twenty four year old, like, we're trying to we're
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: trying to find something that's going to meet a very
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: varied age span.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So they're going through and then this started to say,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: well what about this one? We liked that, And so
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: they're talking about all the repeats that they could see,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: and finally, I don't know who it was, but one
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: of the kids said, oh, Emily, it's such a shame
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: that you're.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Not twelve yet.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Like she's a couple of weeks off being twelve. It's
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: such a shame you're not twelve yet, because we could
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: watch Pirates of the Caribbean. The rule has always been
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: if you're Pirates of the Caribbean, it's like a it's
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: like a rite of passage. You turn twelve, you get
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: to watch Pirates. What's that other one?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: She's the man? How long have they decided you've got
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: to be for that?
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  Speaker 3: She's twelve? But there's no breaking that rule. She has
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: to be twelve. The girls are so excited. Birthday night
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: she will watch it and the whole family will come together.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: They are militant about this.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Anyway, they came to me and they said, Dad, Emily
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: turns two in a couple of weeks, do you think
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: that we could watch Pirates of the Caribbean.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, of course, easy, no problem.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Like once upon a time I cared so much about
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: this and I'm so much more relaxed about it now,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: which is kind of where this study is going. They
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Emily at the end of
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: the night.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: She's like, this was the best movie ever.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Just going crazy, absolutely loved it. Anyway, I digress. So
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: the kids are really big on policing what they're simply
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: can watch. We've used common sense media a lot, but
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: that's become redundant because the kids have taken over that job.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Here's what happened in the study.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: In pediatrics, the first clip of these eight was always
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: rated as being suitable only for older children. The final
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: clip was always rated as being appropriate for younger children.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So they kept those two things as sort of anchors.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: But then regardless of the order of viewing, parents consistently
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: reduced their age recommendations as they watched more clips.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: So I find this curious because I think that I
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: would be the same.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think just in.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: The small anecdote that we've already shared. Once upon a time,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: the thought of my twelve year old watching a whole
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: heap of skeleton pirates.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Sword fighting, sword fighting, helping people in half and would.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Have been mortifying to me, whereas now, six children later.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Just like, this is fun.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: And here's the here's the big question, though, is this
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: more about temperament of children? Because I'm looking at the
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: way our almost twelve year old has responded to this movie.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: She's cracked up.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I was sitting in my seat and the kids were
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: in hysterics because I jumped out of my skin a
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: couple of times. Yeah yeah, And Emily just laughed the
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: whole way through it. It didn't it didn't impact her.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: And it's not because she watches ridiculously violent things like this.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Was this was an extreme case of.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: What she would have It was quite an extension on
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: anything that we've ever leard to watch before. I just
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: think this is that classic situation where there's a desensitization
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: process that occurs. First of all, I'm going to talk
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: about that in a sec but this is the classic
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: gripe that every oldest child, you and I, both eldest children,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: will complain about to their parents, like.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Hang on, hang on.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: When I was that age, I was, they'vever awed to
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: do that stuff, and the younger siblings always get away
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: with so much more.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: See My justification for it is there is such a
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: difference in the violence sheard in an extremely fantasy based
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: story as opposed to real life violence where real people
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: are being hurt and there's lots of blood and gush
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: and all of that. Like, that's a totally different scenario
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: for me.
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  Speaker 2: So here's what the researchers said.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: They said, the more of a particular kind of content
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: we watched, the greater the level of desensitization we experience.
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  Speaker 1: What was once shocking eventually barely registers like a drug.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: The more violence or sexual content we take in, the
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: more of it we need to get the same shock factor.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking about that, and I was like, Yeah,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: if you don' watch the news for a couple of
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: months and then you turn on the news and you
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: listen to what they're talking about it. So it's just shocking.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, my goodness, is this stuff really going
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: on in the world. It assaults your senses.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: I want to push back on that a little bit.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: When we first got married, I've always been a chick
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: click girl. I love nice, warm fuzzies. Happily ever After
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: is a good cry, and that's me done. You've always
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: loved real life movies that make you think, and often
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: they have been filled with significant real life violence.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, unfortunately.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't like that, but I like real stories.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: And I.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Back to those early days.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan, and there's just a few
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: that come to my mind. I felt physically ill watching them,
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: like physically ill, And to this day, regardless of how
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: many times I've watched a movie of that caliber or
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: that content, it doesn't get any easier for me to watch.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I don't feel dissensitized at all in any way, shape
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: or form. It actually heightens my sensitivity.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: A couple of years ago, having had a big break,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I went back and watched one of those films and
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I couldn't watch it.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember you saying that yeah, and I was.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Just like, I don't know how I used to watch
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: this stuff. But actually that emphasis is my point. That
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: doesn't disprove, that's not pushback, that's actually encouragement for what
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. When you have a big break from it
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: and then you see it again, it assaults you. It's like, WHOA,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: what has just happened? So anyway, after the break, I
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: want to talk about a couple of things around what
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: we can do with content for our kids. Because I
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: speak regularly to parents. I remember a few years ago
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I was talking to a parent. They had a six
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: year old that was watching Game of Thrones with them,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: And I haven't watched Game of Thrones, but I've read
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: enough reviews and I've heard enough people tell me about
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: it to know that this is not a program for
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: a six year old.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: In fact, I would argue that's probably not even a
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: program for a sixteen year old.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, oh, it's not really
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: affecting anyone. After the break on and tell me about
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: what it does do, how it does affect our kids,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: and why we do need to be sensitive to what
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: our kids are seeing on screens.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Stay with us. We're back this is the Happy Family's poble.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: If you're enjoying the pod, please share it with your friends.
• 10:02
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• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Click that share button and send it to one or
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: two people that you think it would make a difference for.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: If it could make your family happier, maybe it'll make
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: this happier as well. We love the podcast getting out
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to more and more people. Please please share the pod. Okay, So, Kylie,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: here's what happens when you watch content that is aggressive
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: or sexually oriented. What happens is it starts to change
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: your beliefs. Right, So, I've talked about this on the
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: pod previously. I think I might have mentioned it last
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: week now that I reflect on it. When you hear something,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: it goes in one ear and out the other. When
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: you read something, that can affect the way you're thinking
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: about it. But you generally kind of argue with stuff
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: in your head when you read things. But when you
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: see things, all of a sudden, it becomes believable, it
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: becomes possible, it becomes real to you. And if it's real,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: that means that that's what people are doing, and therefore that's.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: What you could do as well.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: And that's why there is so much noise made about
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: children accessing explicit content pornography because if they do see
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: aggression or violence or just hardcore explicit material, that shapes
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: their perception of what intimacy quote unquote is supposed to
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: be like, and therefore they're much more likely to act
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: in that way.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Seeing is believing.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: So there was a but there's actually some research that
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: shows that it doesn't just affect our attitudes, which then
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: affects our behavior. There's some research that suggests that it
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: could be desensitizing. I dug this one up from the archives.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: In two thousand and nine, there was a study that
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: demonstrated that exposure to gratuitous violence in either a game
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: or a movie led to reduced willingness to help somebody
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: who was in pain. So there were two different experiments,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: and participants in these experiments took longer to come to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: the aid of an injured victim, or they saw a
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: violent act as less serious, and they were less likely
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: to even hear that a fight was occurring when they
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: were compared with people who played a nonviolent video game
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: or watched a non violent movie. So if I'm watching
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: violent coin or playing violent content, I'm just desensitized to it,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and the American Academy of Pediatrics has argued that prolonged
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: exposure of violence increases agreement with the idea that violence
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: is an acceptable way of solving problems. Plus, it promotes
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: acceptance in children of what's known as the mean World syndrome,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: which is a belief that the world is a dark
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: and sinister place.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: If anything, I think this just highlights how important it
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: is for us to, I guess, take a little bit
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: more care in the things that our children watch, especially
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: in that six to twelve year age.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, common Sense Media and other websites like it that
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: give you a real clear sense of what content is
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: in there. I also like that website. There are Australian versions,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: but I like that website. It's got a lot more reviews.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: It's got reviews from kids as well as from adults
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: who are all saying, here's how old we think somebody
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: should before they're watching it. Plus the Common Sense team
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: as well, and the power of co watching. I know
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: that seeing I don't have time to sit down and
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: watch TV with my kids, but the power of co
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: watching is enormous, and I would just emphasize keep your
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: kids off anything that's got an algorithm. I know that
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: we've got legislation now that's supposed to do that quite well.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: There are arguments about how well that's happening, But keep
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: your kids away from algorithms. I think that if your
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: children are under the age of twelve to fourteen, maybe
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: even sixteen, watching TV is going to be far less
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: impactful and far less detrimental than being on an algorithm
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: driven screen or platform. Our job is just to know
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: what they're watching and not to become so desensitized ourselves
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: that we start lowering those ages and lowering those expectations,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: even if it does mean that our kids are the
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: only people in the world that have not seen something
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that's in the Marvel universe.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: My number one tip for doing this is finding your people.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: When you've got a village of families are who share
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: the same values as you and are striving for the
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: same things that you are striving for. What a difference
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: A little chat group where you can go in and say, Hey,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: my kids have been asking to watch this show. Have
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: any of your kids watched it? What have you noticed?
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: You know? What are your feelings around it? Again, you
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: get to make your own mind up. But it's just
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: nice to have other families because everybody is going through
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: the same thing. We're all getting pressured, peer pressured.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Bottom line, our digital diet is absolutely desensitizing us build
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the village. The violence and sexual content that our kids
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: see is glamorized.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It's often consequence.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Free, but there are real world consequences if this changes
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: their attitudes and it changes their behaviors, and we need
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: to be awake and alert to that because if we
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: not just endure it, but actually embrace it and let
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the kids endorse it for our children's entertainment, I think
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: that we act to their detriment. Hopefully there's some ideas
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: here that are useful for you.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by Justin Ruhland from
• 14:54
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• 14:58
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• 15:00
  Speaker 1: or if you're struggling with ADHD in your home, visit
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• 15:06
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• 15:08
  Speaker 2: It will be a game changer. See you tomorrow.