Latest / Forget The Noise / 16. Don't Discredit Yourself | Featuring AJ Cappuccitti
Transcript
- Tharun Binu: They say motivation is something you want. Discipline is something you need. Obsession is something you have to have. I'm gonna show you what I wanted, how I got it, and how I was obsessed to get there. Alright, here we go, another week on Forget the Noise podcast. We are going solo this week because I had to get something off my chest. I've been having a lot of conversations with people lately about getting up early, getting to the gym, doing what I do every day, like muscling through it. And it's actually surprised me how many people think it's just something you do. It has been like a buzz topic amongst a lot of circles I'm in. And it's crazy to think like people think it's just Lily what you do. It's ⁓ you're that person or you're wired that way or You're just comfortable doing that. And I'm gonna be honest, I'm not okay. I'm not feeling well, I'm not motivated. Like there's nothing about this process that feels good. After a week's worth of doing it, and I look back at the week, yeah, it feels good. But in the moment, there's never anything that actually feels good. Do I get excited when my workout starts? Yeah, I get pumped up. I'm I'm gonna be honest, yes, I get pumped up. But getting to the gym, walking in the gym, getting ready, and actually getting through the motions of actually starting the action is what is so hard. And it's not something I can just like turn on and off. Out of seven days a week, literally when I have to do what I have to do, it's probably a 90% battle uphill. It's not just something where I just say, hey, let's just go. And that might be a fault of mine because I say, hey, you know what? Just do what you have to do. I'm an advocate for that. I back the whole shut up and work harder mentality. I do a lot of the if it's on your list, it's a non-negotiable. Just do what you have to do. But that doesn't mean it's easy. And I don't know where like the misconception has happened over the years where people have turned to themselves and say, hey, you know what? It's easy for them and not easy for me. It's not easy for fucking anybody. Like literally, it's not easy for anybody. Anybody that's doing a lot in a day and being very diligent. and protective of their time and utilizing every minute of every day, it's not easy. I was talking to someone and it came up and it says, Your life is passing by you and you're dying one minute at a time without a final countdown of when that minute is. Now I paraphrased that because I didn't remember the whole quote. But that's crazy to think. And it's crazy to think that people aren't utilizing their day to do it because they think it's not easy for them and it's just easy for everyone else. Like you're literally shortchanging yourself. And this this is cool. So there is a conversation I was listening to between a bunch of people and someone said like, You're downplaying my achievements by saying I'm wired different. And ⁓ like that was Trevor Cali, he's out right now trying to break a world record. Well, he's breaking a world record for a half marathon consecutively every single day. I think he's going six ⁓ six days, he's on like five eighty or four eighty five or something like that. I think he's got like a hundred and sixteen days left, is what I calculated. And I love watching his journey along the way. But he's the one that said, like, I'm getting short change because you think I'm just wired different. Which is actually not fair to that person. It's not fair to you either. Because if you're saying it's easy for them because they're just wired different, it's like, no, they're just average. They're just working harder. They're just showing up every single day. Like, look at David Goggins. He is no different than anyone else. All he does is work harder. And he's world-renowned as like the toughest man. And he literally only works harder. Think about that. Like Just does something consistently day in, day out, over and over and over again, and he gets a title for the toughest man. Like that doesn't blow anyone's mind out there. It literally doesn't like flabbergast anyone that that's all it took. And I'm not shortchanging, like it wasn't hard work. Yes, it was. But the actual process wasn't that much scrutiny. It was one action every single day. Run a shitload. And he ran and ran and kept running and kept running. And in the meantime, he would talk shit to the camera and everything. And people were like, hey, this guy's tough. I'm not doubting he is tough, but it didn't take much for him to be tough. And that's where our society sits. We sit at such a low standard, and it's crazy to think that. I can't believe like the dialect that comes out of people's mouths about what the standard is. The entitlement. There's things like, ⁓ I deserve a day off. I just had to talk with one of my son's friends, and he's like, I need to take a personal day. I go, from fucking what? Personal day from what? You don't deserve it. And that's where the whole like, ⁓ but you're wired different comes in, or you're built different. And I'm not. I'm actually not. I'm the exact same human being as I was 10 years ago as I am today. I just have a different mindset. I just have a different standard. And I'm living by that every single day. And I'm trying to prove it and I'm becoming more vulnerable on social media. I'm posting what time I'm actually waking up because I'm like, you know what? After a few conversations, people must think like I actually don't wake up at 4:15. So you know what? I'm gonna post it every single day. I post when I'm at the gym, I post on my sauna talk, I post like what I'm doing day to day, like I'm trying to put out my podcast, I'm trying to be vulnerable on my podcast. Like, say, first thing I start started with is like I'm not okay. Mentally, physically, emotionally, like I I'm I'm drained. I was actually talking to my wife a few weeks ago saying, I need to go talk to someone. Like I'm broken here. I feel like I'm in this lonely phase where I'm like, what is going on? Like I'm doing so much, I'm doing all the things right, and I feel like I'm constantly going uphill. And I literally I I I was breaking down. I didn't know where to turn, who to turn to, what to do. And she guided me through that process saying, This is what you need, this is what you have to push yourself to do. These are like the environments you had to put yourself in because you're that person and you need those people around you. But like in that moment, I felt alone. And that dragged on for pff a week and a half, two weeks. I still have little like spurts throughout the day where it's like. I'm done. Like I want to throw my hands up and say, you know what, I'm out. That's it. It's not worth it. Like I get a little bit of frustration or something goes wrong. And I try to navigate the problems the best I can, but I'm no different than anyone else. Now my rug might be a little bit bigger to sweep something under it and deal with it later. But just put on your like adult pants and do something. Like follow through with something. I'm looking at starting like an accountability group. So I'm looking to like put consistency and accountability out in the open, get people vulnerable, get them owning their stuff. And if you ask anyone that has achieved anything, like one of the biggest accomplishments was when they put it out to like Gen Pop. When they just spoke it out loud and actually said the words, Hey, I'm gonna run a marathon by the end of the year. Now you're accountable to someone, you're accountable to yourself. Why do you think I put myself out there on social media? Don't get me wrong, I I love being on camera and this is like a passion project to me. But there's a thousand other topics I could talk about besides me, struggles, mindset. I any anything I talk about, like there's so many other things I could talk about, but what do I talk about? It's growth. I talk about like improvement. I talk about dis discipline, I talk about consistency. And I really try to convince people like there's more to life. Like, think about like my mom passed like committed suicide at 29. Literally 29 years old. She didn't see 30. My dad died at 50. My grandfather passed away before he got to retire. My grandmother suddenly went to sleep and just didn't wake up. Like these are people close to me that didn't get to experience life and did live it to the fullest. They did the routine hamster wheel bullshit that they're supposed to think they're supposed to do over and over and over again. And What did they get out of it? How are you gonna be memorized? How are you gonna be ⁓ memorable? Like how is someone gonna remember you? And that's why I'm putting it all out on the table. Cause I wanna be remembered. I wanna leave an imprint on someone. I wanna leave impact around me. And even if it's not a huge impact, I can leave this earth saying, you know what, I did my best to leave that out there. Like I left everything out there on the table, in the arena. If you heard man in the arena, like I did everything I could. Was I 100% successful in everything? No. Was I great at everything? No. Was I everything came easy to me? No. Did I enjoy it? Most of the time? No. But I'm doing this for like my mental health and my mental stability that I'm pushing as hard as I can. Like I want to crawl out of life. And I'm gonna go back to the that I'm not okay. But you can't use as an excuse. Because it's hard, like once you get to hard, you're probably 60% of the way there until you're broken. That's literally what you are. You are not all the way there yet when you think it's hard. When it's hard is what you're used to. That that's your threshold. When you hit the line of hard, that's what your body's used to. It's kinda like, ooh, now we're going a little bit further. You probably have 40% left in the tank. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's mental capacity, physical like strength, physical endurance. You are probably only 60% of the way there. And I wanna find out where my hundred is. And then I wanna hit one ten. That might be astronomical to people, that might be stupid to some people, but like, what are we like, what are we here for? I really don't know what we're here for unless it's to live your fullest life. And sure, I'm working hard every day to provide for my family. I'm showing up where I can show up. I'm pushing myself to the limit. And what am I getting out of it so far? Not much. I'm living life though. If someone turned to me and said, AJ, you got twenty four hours to live now, I can look back at everything I've done and say, you know what, it it's all out there. The tank's empty at this point. I couldn't have turned around and did something a little bit better. I did the best I could with everything I did. And that's why my circle's getting smaller. I'm feeling lonely. Mentally, like I'm getting broken. Physically, I'm getting tired. Like, it's a lot on me. And I keep adding to my plate. But I've learned like I work better under pressure. That's the type of person I am. I need to be under pressure. If I have a little bit of like wiggle room there, I fall apart. I was literally just talking to T-Bone. And I was telling him, he's like, like. Relax, I'm I I can't like I I just have to be under pressure. I have to push myself to a limit. I had to overexert myself. And is it healthy? Probably not. Is it smart? Most likely not. But I know who I am as a human being because I've pushed myself to those limits. I built that structure where I'm running at 100% capacity. And at the end of the day, you know what? If something happens to me, it happens to me. So be it. But I can never look back and say I didn't try. I didn't give them my all. I didn't leave it all out there. I'm gonna do my best in everything I do. And have I seen millions and millions of dollars in successes? No. Have I bought a hundred percent of my time as freedom? No. But I love building what I'm building. I love pushing myself to the limit. I love jumping in front of this camera and like talking smack. I love it. But I'm also becoming vulnerable. And I'm putting it out there saying this is a real deal. I walk the walk. I don't just talk the talk. This is the journey. And that's why I want to start it so early, is because I find everything you find online, it's like I have this success. And this is what you have to do. And I'm at the point where like I'm building this success. Watch me do it. Because it's real. Another conversation I was having is like it becomes more realistic when you're around people that's relatable to. Someone comes to you and says you can make a million dollars a year. You're like, okay, fine. But when you're like friends with someone that makes a million dollars a year, you're like, well they can do it, I can do it. That's that's realistic. It's relatable. I know the person personally. And that's why I started my journey so early. And that's why I think episodes like this are so important because I'm being real about the process. I'm being real about the vulnerability. I'm being real about the struggle. And the hardest part I struggle with is the mental setbacks. Honestly, like that's my biggest struggle. Physically, I can work on five hours sleep. I'll go. I I'm I'm like a dog. You say go, I'll just go. I I don't care. That's easy. The mental strain I'm facing lately has been my biggest struggle. Like it's just it's killing me inside every single day. There's days I want to just scream on top of a mountain saying I'm not okay. There's days I feel like I need someone to talk to, but I don't know what to talk to them about. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. But I know that's just resistance from what I'm trying to build. My i in my head I'm running at 110 miles an hour all the time. I got five things on my plate. It's like tomorrow morning I'm literally waking up and I'm doing something personal for myself. Then I'm hitting something physical at the gym. Then I had to get AC Custom up and running. Right after that, I have ⁓ the business solutions company, I got onboarding client for a demo. Then I come back and I gotta do some social media content. Then I gotta do some personal branding stuff. Then I turn AC Custom back on. Like There's a lot to the day, and that's the work day. Then I go home and I had to put on the hat of father, I had to put on the hat of like husband, I had to put on the hat of friend. It's a lot. And then you have added stress where you're like, I'm doing okay. I'm winning most of my battles. And you see someone losing, it's like, Okay, I wanna pour into them now. And like your cup is only so full. There's only so much water it can go around. But I wanna make sure every single day when I lay my head down, like my cup's empty. Because tomorrow when I fucking wake up, that cup's gonna be full and it's ready to start pouring over again. Like literally every single day. That's the way I look at my life. I wake up with a full tank of gas and I want it completely empty by the time I lay my head down. And I don't care if it's 9 p.m., eleven p.m. 12 a.m. I'm getting back up at 4 a.m. with a full tank. A full cup. And when there's a little bit left in that cup, I'm gonna pour it into someone else's cup because I want people to go through this process. I want people to go through this scrutiny, I want people to go through this hardship. Cause I'm telling you right now, I'm in this lonely chapter where I'm really good being alone. And it's almost scary how good I am being alone. And I think that's where most of my growth is happening. And there's people in my circle I love spending time with. Don't get me wrong, I love, but that circle is so small. That I find is a lot of time I'm alone. Dinner, movies, hanging out, like I'm good with all that alone. So when I'm doing it with someone I love or someone I care about, it's that much better because now I'm sharing I'm voluntarily giving up that alone time that I enjoy to give it to someone I care about. And that feeling is so great that Like, I I don't want to lose that comfort of being alone. If I go for a walk or a run, or I go like just hang out by myself at home and I enjoy it, and then my wife comes home and I hang out with her and I love her and I hang out with and like we do something we enjoy, like that cancels out any bullshit time I'm gonna spend with people that I don't resonate with. And those few moments when that happens, it's like That rejuvenates me. It like fills me right back up. The other day went to the driving range. And I had a really lonely day that day. I had like it was a struggle. And I tried to like hide it. I tried to like throw it in the backpack and just keep marching along. And we went to the driving range. We were only there for an hour and a half. And it was like that was enough to reset me for a whole fucking week. Like literally a whole week. And it's amazing, like when you're broken. How you've learned to pick up the pieces and put them back together just to get through another day. And I don't think I'll be broken forever. And I don't think it's a bad broken. I think it's a phase I have to go through. And you can ask my wife, very rarely do I turn to someone and say, you know what, I don't I don't know. I'm done. Like I'm gonna throw my towel in. Like I rarely say that, but there are days where I feel like doing that. And that day she did talk me off a cliff. She did. She said, like, hey, you need to put yourself around people. Like this. Not in group A, not in group B, you need people in group C. Like I was looking for like a psychotherapist. Now I don't know a difference between all the psychotherapists and counselors and all that stuff. But she's like, no, you need someone that's like a mentor. You need someone that's like a like a business coach that's gone through entrepreneurship, that's gone through loneliness, that's gone through like the hardships of wins and losses. And I'm like, you know what? Yeah, you're right. That's what I need. And then she said something. She goes, Everything you s you you touch your hands on, like you make it work. So you're gonna get through this, you're gonna make this work too. And again, that was like that day over at the driver's range. It's like it filled my cup so much I was like, okay, yeah, you know what? Fuck, let's go. Game on. So like all these times you sit there and you think to yourself, like, that person is wired different. That person, you know, isn't like me. That person, you know, is just built that way. They're not. They've just found something that pushes and drives them to get to the point that they're willing to put themselves through torture and scrutiny. They don't mind the pressure because they know the diamond on the other end is worth it. So don't isolate yourself. Don't take credibility away from people that are doing the hard work. And don't take credibility away from yourself because you're not doing the hard work. Like go out and do the hard work. Do out and meet that goal. Like I'm here. Like I love answering DMs. I love answering messages where people are like, I don't know what to do, or how do you do it every day? Like let's go. Let's fucking go. I will light a fire on your ass because I want to see everyone go through that. When you're going through hardship, like I like that more than a win, because a win is easy to celebrate. The hardship's hard to celebrate. So I'm I'm here. Like I said, if there's a little bit of water left in my cup, I will pour it out to whoever out is out there looking for it. Cause I never had that. I never had the mentor. I never had, you know, the father figure per se. I never had someone guiding me along the way. Like I just ate shit over and over and over and over again. Where I'm like, there other people don't need to do that. And when it's looking all great on the outside and I'm like eating shit and everyone's like, ⁓ he just gets through it. He just gets through it. No, it's not like that. It sucks. I'm broken. I'm torn apart. Like I'm confused. Like it it's not easy. But I show up every single day because I say I'm going to. I found a why on why I'm gonna do that. And I'm not gonna let people discredit that because they think I'm wired different or because, you know, I'm built different. No, they're just lazy. They just don't have a why. They just don't care. But like I said earlier, like I don't know when my last minute is. And literally, I'm dying one minute at a time. So when I put my head down every single night, that tank's gonna be empty. And I pray to God, tomorrow morning, when you guys all wake up and you guys look at the day ahead of you, you have a full tank and you're willing to put in the effort to make sure that tank's empty. Besides that, that's Forget the Noise podcast. Solo episode this week went on a little rant, but I had to be honest about that. It's been bothering me for a while. And next week we got some cool guests coming up. Besides that, just forget the noise, keep pushing through and you know Don't discredit yourself. Do the hard work.