Latest / Skirts Up! / Sex Myths on Aging and Intimacy, Debunked By Dr. Stephanie Bathurst

Transcript

Sex Myths on Aging and Intimacy, Debunked By Dr. Stephanie Bathurst · Skirts Up!

• 0:00
  Hey,
• 0:01
  you.
• 0:01
  You're
• 0:02
  tuned
• 0:02
  in
• 0:02
  to
• 0:02
  the
• 0:02
  Skirts
• 0:03
  up
• 0:03
  show
• 0:03
  with
• 0:03
  Samantha
• 0:04
  and
• 0:04
  Melissa.
• 0:05
  Join
• 0:05
  our
• 0:05
  mission
• 0:06
  to
• 0:06
  normalize
• 0:07
  failure,
• 0:07
  but
• 0:08
  still
• 0:08
  uncover
• 0:09
  the
• 0:09
  positives
• 0:09
  at
• 0:09
  every
• 0:10
  twist
• 0:10
  and
• 0:10
  turn.
• 0:11
  Skirts
• 0:11
  up,
• 0:12
  but
• 0:12
  keep
• 0:13
  your
• 0:13
  panties
• 0:13
  on.
• 0:17
  What's
• 0:17
  up,
• 0:17
  Skirts
• 0:18
  Up
• 0:18
  Squad?
• 0:18
  It
• 0:18
  is
• 0:19
  Samantha
• 0:19
  and
• 0:19
  your
• 0:20
  girl
• 0:20
  Melissa.
• 0:20
  And
• 0:21
  we
• 0:21
  did
• 0:22
  it
• 0:22
  right
• 0:22
  that
• 0:22
  time.
• 0:22
  We
• 0:23
  did.
• 0:23
  Oh,
• 0:23
  that's
• 0:24
  hilarious.
• 0:25
  That's
• 0:25
  so
• 0:25
  funny.
• 0:26
  Because
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  me,
• 0:26
  there
• 0:26
  is
• 0:26
  no
• 0:27
  right.
• 0:27
  And
• 0:27
  you're
• 0:27
  like,
• 0:28
  no,
• 0:28
  there
• 0:28
  is
• 0:28
  a
• 0:28
  way
• 0:28
  to
• 0:29
  do
• 0:29
  this.
• 0:29
  No.
• 0:32
  As
• 0:33
  the
• 0:33
  conversation
• 0:33
  has
• 0:33
  been
• 0:34
  today.
• 0:34
  That
• 0:34
  is.
• 0:34
  That
• 0:34
  is
• 0:35
  so
• 0:35
  funny.
• 0:35
  No,
• 0:35
  I
• 0:36
  was
• 0:36
  referring
• 0:36
  to,
• 0:36
  like,
• 0:37
  the
• 0:37
  last
• 0:37
  episode
• 0:38
  that
• 0:38
  released
• 0:39
  and
• 0:39
  you,
• 0:39
  like.
• 0:39
  Jumped
• 0:40
  in
• 0:40
  and
• 0:40
  I
• 0:40
  said,
• 0:40
  I
• 0:40
  know,
• 0:41
  Substitute
• 0:42
  squad.
• 0:42
  Okay.
• 0:43
  And
• 0:43
  it
• 0:43
  really
• 0:44
  threw
• 0:44
  her.
• 0:44
  Threw
• 0:45
  me
• 0:45
  for
• 0:45
  a
• 0:45
  loop,
• 0:45
  guys.
• 0:46
  Oh,
• 0:46
  my
• 0:46
  God.
• 0:47
  Is
• 0:47
  that
• 0:47
  my
• 0:47
  fail?
• 0:47
  Talking
• 0:48
  about
• 0:49
  how
• 0:49
  you
• 0:49
  were
• 0:50
  kind
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  pointing
• 0:51
  out,
• 0:51
  but
• 0:51
  not
• 0:51
  pointing
• 0:51
  out
• 0:52
  that,
• 0:52
  like,
• 0:52
  I.
• 0:53
  I
• 0:53
  felt
• 0:53
  like
• 0:53
  my
• 0:54
  student
• 0:54
  or
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  students
• 0:55
  that
• 0:55
  I
• 0:55
  was
• 0:55
  working
• 0:55
  with.
• 0:55
  It
• 0:56
  sounds
• 0:56
  like
• 0:56
  it's
• 0:56
  your
• 0:56
  fail.
• 0:57
  Let's
• 0:57
  share
• 0:57
  it.
• 0:57
  Let's
• 0:57
  share
• 0:58
  it.
• 0:58
  Okay.
• 0:58
  Because
• 0:58
  now
• 0:59
  you
• 0:59
  have
• 0:59
  to
• 0:59
  tell.
• 0:59
  Now
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  have
• 1:00
  to
• 1:00
  tell.
• 1:00
  Okay.
• 1:01
  So
• 1:01
  it
• 1:01
  goes
• 1:02
  with.
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  was
• 1:03
  just
• 1:03
  explaining
• 1:04
  to
• 1:04
  Melissa
• 1:05
  that
• 1:05
  I
• 1:06
  was
• 1:06
  getting
• 1:06
  really
• 1:06
  frustrated
• 1:07
  with
• 1:07
  the
• 1:07
  people
• 1:07
  that
• 1:08
  I'm
• 1:08
  getting
• 1:08
  partnered
• 1:08
  with
• 1:09
  in
• 1:09
  my
• 1:09
  RTT
• 1:11
  classes.
• 1:11
  So
• 1:11
  now
• 1:11
  it's
• 1:12
  time
• 1:12
  for
• 1:12
  me
• 1:12
  to
• 1:12
  practice
• 1:13
  as
• 1:13
  a
• 1:13
  therapist.
• 1:15
  And
• 1:15
  then
• 1:15
  in
• 1:15
  return,
• 1:16
  I'm
• 1:16
  their
• 1:17
  client.
• 1:18
  And
• 1:18
  I
• 1:18
  was
• 1:19
  getting
• 1:19
  frustrated
• 1:20
  because
• 1:20
  they
• 1:21
  kept
• 1:21
  wanting
• 1:22
  to
• 1:22
  break
• 1:23
  up
• 1:23
  the
• 1:24
  intake
• 1:25
  sessions
• 1:26
  from
• 1:27
  the,
• 1:27
  like,
• 1:27
  actual
• 1:28
  therapy
• 1:28
  session.
• 1:29
  And.
• 1:29
  And
• 1:30
  like,
• 1:31
  to
• 1:31
  me,
• 1:31
  that
• 1:32
  doesn't
• 1:32
  make
• 1:32
  sense
• 1:33
  because
• 1:33
  the
• 1:33
  flow
• 1:34
  of
• 1:34
  the
• 1:35
  therapy
• 1:35
  session
• 1:35
  is
• 1:36
  going
• 1:36
  20
• 1:37
  minutes,
• 1:37
  20
• 1:37
  minutes,
• 1:38
  going
• 1:38
  through,
• 1:38
  like,
• 1:38
  the
• 1:38
  intake
• 1:39
  part,
• 1:39
  and
• 1:39
  then
• 1:39
  you
• 1:40
  go
• 1:40
  into
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  hypnosis
• 1:41
  and
• 1:41
  the
• 1:41
  therapy
• 1:41
  part
• 1:42
  and.
• 1:42
  And
• 1:42
  all
• 1:42
  of
• 1:43
  that.
• 1:43
  And
• 1:43
  so
• 1:43
  a
• 1:44
  20
• 1:44
  minute
• 1:44
  thing
• 1:44
  shouldn't
• 1:45
  mean
• 1:45
  that
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  need
• 1:46
  a
• 1:46
  whole
• 1:46
  different
• 1:46
  day
• 1:47
  to
• 1:47
  do
• 1:47
  a
• 1:47
  20
• 1:48
  minute
• 1:48
  interview.
• 1:49
  Yeah.
• 1:49
  And
• 1:50
  so
• 1:50
  to
• 1:50
  me,
• 1:51
  practicing
• 1:51
  the
• 1:51
  flow
• 1:52
  that
• 1:52
  you're
• 1:52
  going
• 1:52
  to
• 1:53
  do
• 1:53
  when
• 1:53
  you're
• 1:53
  practicing,
• 1:54
  like,
• 1:55
  actually,
• 1:55
  like,
• 1:56
  being
• 1:56
  a
• 1:56
  practitioner,
• 1:57
  you
• 1:58
  should
• 1:58
  do
• 1:58
  it
• 1:58
  how
• 1:58
  you're
• 1:58
  supposed
• 1:58
  to
• 1:59
  do
• 1:59
  it.
• 1:59
  Yeah.
• 1:59
  Like,
• 1:59
  put
• 1:59
  yourself
• 2:00
  in
• 2:00
  the
• 2:00
  real
• 2:00
  actual,
• 2:01
  like,
• 2:01
  constraints
• 2:02
  that
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  would
• 2:02
  be
• 2:02
  in.
• 2:03
  And
• 2:03
  the
• 2:03
  point
• 2:03
  is
• 2:04
  practice.
• 2:04
  So
• 2:04
  start
• 2:05
  timing
• 2:05
  yourself,
• 2:06
  making
• 2:06
  sure
• 2:06
  that
• 2:06
  you
• 2:06
  are
• 2:07
  hitting
• 2:07
  the
• 2:07
  intro
• 2:08
  within
• 2:08
  the
• 2:08
  20
• 2:08
  minutes.
• 2:08
  You
• 2:09
  know,
• 2:09
  like,
• 2:09
  start
• 2:09
  playing
• 2:09
  with
• 2:10
  that
• 2:10
  and
• 2:10
  seeing,
• 2:11
  like,
• 2:11
  where
• 2:11
  you're
• 2:11
  going.
• 2:11
  And
• 2:12
  they're
• 2:12
  just
• 2:12
  all
• 2:13
  like,
• 2:13
  no,
• 2:13
  no,
• 2:13
  no,
• 2:14
  no.
• 2:14
  Like,
• 2:14
  sessions
• 2:14
  will
• 2:14
  go
• 2:15
  three
• 2:15
  hours,
• 2:15
  and
• 2:16
  that's
• 2:16
  just
• 2:16
  far
• 2:16
  too
• 2:16
  long.
• 2:17
  So
• 2:17
  we
• 2:18
  need
• 2:18
  to
• 2:18
  schedule
• 2:18
  three
• 2:19
  days,
• 2:19
  one
• 2:19
  day
• 2:20
  where
• 2:20
  we'll
• 2:20
  both
• 2:20
  do
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  intake.
• 2:22
  So
• 2:22
  25
• 2:22
  minutes.
• 2:23
  25
• 2:23
  minutes.
• 2:24
  And
• 2:24
  then
• 2:24
  where
• 2:25
  you're
• 2:25
  the
• 2:25
  therapist
• 2:25
  day,
• 2:26
  and
• 2:26
  then
• 2:26
  where
• 2:27
  you're
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  client
• 2:28
  day.
• 2:28
  And
• 2:29
  I'm
• 2:29
  just
• 2:29
  like
• 2:29
  that.
• 2:29
  I'm
• 2:30
  not
• 2:30
  going
• 2:30
  to
• 2:30
  do
• 2:30
  it
• 2:30
  that
• 2:30
  way.
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  was
• 2:33
  like,
• 2:33
  okay,
• 2:34
  well,
• 2:34
  when
• 2:34
  I'm
• 2:35
  the
• 2:35
  therapist,
• 2:35
  I'm
• 2:35
  going
• 2:36
  to
• 2:36
  do
• 2:36
  it
• 2:36
  how
• 2:36
  it
• 2:36
  should
• 2:37
  be,
• 2:37
  where
• 2:37
  you
• 2:38
  do
• 2:38
  the
• 2:38
  intake
• 2:38
  and
• 2:39
  the
• 2:39
  therapy
• 2:39
  session
• 2:39
  all
• 2:39
  together,
• 2:40
  because
• 2:40
  flow.
• 2:40
  And
• 2:40
  I
• 2:41
  want
• 2:41
  to
• 2:41
  learn
• 2:41
  and
• 2:41
  practice
• 2:42
  the
• 2:42
  flow.
• 2:42
  Yeah.
• 2:43
  And
• 2:43
  Melissa
• 2:43
  just
• 2:43
  kind
• 2:43
  of
• 2:44
  looked
• 2:44
  at
• 2:44
  me
• 2:44
  because
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  was
• 2:44
  like,
• 2:44
  why
• 2:45
  are
• 2:45
  they
• 2:45
  being
• 2:45
  so
• 2:45
  difficult?
• 2:46
  And
• 2:46
  I'm
• 2:47
  like,
• 2:47
  it's
• 2:48
  just
• 2:48
  the
• 2:48
  flow.
• 2:48
  It's
• 2:49
  how
• 2:49
  it's
• 2:49
  supposed
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  go.
• 2:49
  You
• 2:50
  do
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  intake
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  then
• 2:51
  you
• 2:51
  do
• 2:51
  the
• 2:51
  session.
• 2:51
  That's
• 2:52
  what
• 2:52
  we
• 2:52
  learned.
• 2:53
  Melissa
• 2:54
  just
• 2:54
  kind
• 2:54
  of
• 2:54
  looks
• 2:55
  at
• 2:55
  me
• 2:55
  and
• 2:55
  politely
• 2:55
  doesn't
• 2:56
  say
• 2:56
  anything.
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  go,
• 2:57
  oh,
• 2:57
  fuck,
• 2:57
  I'm
• 2:57
  the
• 2:57
  problem.
• 2:58
  Got
• 2:59
  it.
• 3:00
  But
• 3:00
  to
• 3:01
  be
• 3:01
  fair,
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  was
• 3:02
  not
• 3:02
  at
• 3:02
  all
• 3:02
  thinking
• 3:02
  that
• 3:02
  you
• 3:03
  were
• 3:03
  the
• 3:03
  problem.
• 3:03
  I
• 3:03
  was
• 3:04
  just
• 3:04
  laughing
• 3:04
  inside
• 3:05
  because
• 3:05
  I
• 3:05
  was
• 3:05
  like,
• 3:05
  yeah,
• 3:06
  she
• 3:06
  just
• 3:06
  has
• 3:06
  to.
• 3:07
  Have
• 3:07
  her
• 3:07
  the
• 3:08
  rigid.
• 3:09
  The
• 3:09
  rigid.
• 3:10
  Yeah,
• 3:10
  routine.
• 3:10
  Like,
• 3:11
  routine.
• 3:11
  This
• 3:11
  is
• 3:12
  how
• 3:12
  it
• 3:12
  is.
• 3:12
  Yeah.
• 3:13
  We
• 3:13
  learned
• 3:13
  it
• 3:13
  in
• 3:14
  class.
• 3:14
  Why
• 3:14
  can't
• 3:15
  they
• 3:15
  get
• 3:15
  it?
• 3:15
  And
• 3:15
  then
• 3:16
  I
• 3:16
  was
• 3:16
  like,
• 3:16
  okay,
• 3:16
  well,
• 3:17
  maybe
• 3:18
  just
• 3:18
  try
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  be
• 3:19
  bend
• 3:19
  with
• 3:19
  them
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  little
• 3:20
  bit.
• 3:20
  But
• 3:20
  at
• 3:20
  the
• 3:20
  same
• 3:21
  time,
• 3:21
  once
• 3:21
  I.
• 3:21
  Explained
• 3:22
  it
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  you,
• 3:22
  you
• 3:22
  were
• 3:22
  like,
• 3:22
  oh,
• 3:23
  no.
• 3:23
  That
• 3:23
  they're
• 3:24
  harming
• 3:24
  themselves.
• 3:24
  Like,
• 3:25
  they're
• 3:25
  not
• 3:25
  practicing.
• 3:25
  I
• 3:26
  agree
• 3:26
  with
• 3:26
  you.
• 3:27
  Yeah.
• 3:27
  But
• 3:27
  it
• 3:27
  was
• 3:27
  just
• 3:28
  really
• 3:28
  funny
• 3:28
  to
• 3:28
  hear
• 3:29
  you
• 3:29
  say
• 3:29
  it.
• 3:29
  That
• 3:29
  in
• 3:30
  such,
• 3:30
  like.
• 3:30
  You
• 3:31
  heard
• 3:31
  it.
• 3:31
  Yes,
• 3:31
  the
• 3:32
  way
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  said
• 3:32
  it
• 3:32
  and
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  saw
• 3:33
  your
• 3:33
  face,
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  go,
• 3:33
  fuck.
• 3:34
  That'S
• 3:34
  me
• 3:34
  being
• 3:35
  me.
• 3:37
  Which
• 3:38
  you
• 3:38
  are.
• 3:38
  Awesome.
• 3:39
  So
• 3:39
  never
• 3:40
  fear,
• 3:40
  I'm
• 3:41
  down.
• 3:41
  But
• 3:41
  yeah,
• 3:42
  so
• 3:42
  I
• 3:42
  wouldn't
• 3:42
  say
• 3:42
  it's
• 3:43
  a
• 3:43
  fail,
• 3:43
  but
• 3:43
  it's
• 3:43
  kind
• 3:43
  of
• 3:44
  cool
• 3:44
  because,
• 3:44
  like,
• 3:44
  you
• 3:45
  got
• 3:45
  like,
• 3:45
  it
• 3:45
  was
• 3:45
  you,
• 3:46
  like,
• 3:46
  seeing
• 3:46
  yourself
• 3:47
  for
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  second
• 3:47
  and
• 3:47
  being
• 3:48
  like,
• 3:48
  wait.
• 3:48
  And
• 3:48
  stepping
• 3:49
  back.
• 3:49
  I
• 3:49
  heard
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  in
• 3:49
  your
• 3:49
  brain.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:50
  being
• 3:50
  introspective.
• 3:52
  She
• 3:53
  heard
• 3:53
  it
• 3:53
  in
• 3:53
  my
• 3:53
  brain.
• 3:54
  That's
• 3:54
  so
• 3:54
  funny.
• 3:54
  Yeah,
• 3:55
  that's
• 3:55
  what
• 3:55
  I
• 3:55
  say.
• 3:55
  Yeah.
• 3:56
  But
• 3:57
  do
• 3:57
  you
• 3:57
  have
• 3:58
  a
• 3:58
  fail
• 3:58
  or
• 3:58
  were
• 3:59
  we
• 3:59
  talking
• 3:59
  about
• 3:59
  the
• 4:00
  trip
• 4:01
  that
• 4:01
  you
• 4:01
  missed?
• 4:02
  Oh,
• 4:03
  so
• 4:04
  I
• 4:05
  did
• 4:05
  share
• 4:05
  a
• 4:06
  fail,
• 4:06
  I
• 4:06
  think,
• 4:06
  in
• 4:06
  a
• 4:07
  previous
• 4:07
  episode
• 4:08
  about
• 4:08
  how
• 4:08
  I
• 4:08
  missed
• 4:08
  the
• 4:08
  trip.
• 4:10
  So
• 4:10
  I
• 4:10
  do
• 4:10
  want
• 4:10
  to
• 4:10
  ask
• 4:11
  you
• 4:11
  about
• 4:11
  that,
• 4:11
  actually.
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  was
• 4:12
  just
• 4:12
  going
• 4:12
  to
• 4:12
  say
• 4:13
  real
• 4:13
  quick
• 4:13
  for
• 4:13
  me,
• 4:14
  a
• 4:14
  fail.
• 4:14
  Yeah,
• 4:15
  it.
• 4:15
  And
• 4:15
  it's
• 4:16
  not
• 4:16
  even
• 4:16
  a
• 4:16
  fail,
• 4:16
  obviously.
• 4:17
  They
• 4:17
  never
• 4:17
  are
• 4:17
  truly
• 4:18
  fails,
• 4:18
  are
• 4:18
  they,
• 4:18
  guys?
• 4:20
  But
• 4:21
  for
• 4:21
  years,
• 4:21
  because
• 4:22
  this
• 4:22
  is
• 4:22
  funny,
• 4:23
  though,
• 4:23
  Sam
• 4:23
  will
• 4:23
  understand
• 4:24
  because
• 4:24
  she
• 4:25
  understands
• 4:25
  it
• 4:26
  in
• 4:26
  a
• 4:26
  different
• 4:26
  way
• 4:26
  than
• 4:26
  me
• 4:27
  or
• 4:27
  maybe
• 4:27
  the
• 4:27
  same.
• 4:28
  But
• 4:28
  for
• 4:29
  years,
• 4:30
  I
• 4:30
  was
• 4:30
  told
• 4:30
  to
• 4:31
  cover
• 4:31
  up
• 4:31
  my
• 4:31
  body.
• 4:32
  And
• 4:33
  I
• 4:33
  was
• 4:33
  told,
• 4:34
  like,
• 4:34
  you
• 4:35
  can't
• 4:35
  dress
• 4:35
  this
• 4:36
  way
• 4:36
  because
• 4:36
  one,
• 4:36
  it's
• 4:37
  not
• 4:37
  appropriate.
• 4:38
  But.
• 4:39
  Or
• 4:39
  then
• 4:39
  as
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  got
• 4:40
  older
• 4:40
  and
• 4:41
  started
• 4:41
  kind
• 4:41
  of
• 4:41
  putting
• 4:41
  on
• 4:42
  weight.
• 4:43
  Nobody
• 4:43
  wants
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  see
• 4:44
  your
• 4:44
  body,
• 4:45
  like,
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  know,
• 4:46
  out
• 4:46
  at
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  beach
• 4:47
  or
• 4:47
  whatnot,
• 4:48
  or
• 4:48
  you
• 4:49
  shouldn't
• 4:49
  be
• 4:49
  wearing
• 4:49
  tank
• 4:49
  tops,
• 4:50
  your
• 4:50
  arms
• 4:50
  are
• 4:50
  too
• 4:50
  big,
• 4:50
  things
• 4:51
  like
• 4:51
  that.
• 4:52
  And
• 4:52
  so
• 4:53
  it
• 4:54
  took
• 4:54
  me
• 4:54
  quite
• 4:54
  a
• 4:54
  few
• 4:55
  years,
• 4:55
  but
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  would
• 4:55
  say
• 4:55
  in
• 4:56
  my
• 4:57
  late
• 4:57
  20s,
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  was
• 4:58
  like,
• 4:59
  no,
• 5:00
  I
• 5:01
  know.
• 5:02
  I
• 5:02
  don't
• 5:02
  have
• 5:02
  a
• 5:02
  body
• 5:02
  that
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  want.
• 5:03
  I
• 5:04
  don't
• 5:04
  have
• 5:04
  the
• 5:04
  body
• 5:04
  that
• 5:04
  I
• 5:05
  love,
• 5:05
  and
• 5:05
  I'm
• 5:05
  working
• 5:05
  on
• 5:06
  that.
• 5:07
  But
• 5:07
  I
• 5:07
  am
• 5:07
  gonna
• 5:08
  wear
• 5:08
  what
• 5:08
  makes.
• 5:08
  Me
• 5:08
  comfortable,
• 5:09
  and
• 5:09
  you're
• 5:09
  gonna
• 5:10
  love
• 5:10
  the
• 5:10
  body
• 5:10
  that
• 5:10
  you
• 5:10
  do
• 5:10
  have.
• 5:11
  I'm
• 5:11
  working
• 5:11
  on
• 5:11
  that.
• 5:12
  Thank
• 5:12
  you.
• 5:13
  So
• 5:14
  I
• 5:14
  wanted
• 5:14
  to
• 5:15
  share
• 5:15
  with
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  guys.
• 5:16
  Okay.
• 5:17
  I
• 5:17
  haven't
• 5:18
  worn
• 5:18
  it
• 5:18
  out
• 5:18
  in
• 5:18
  public
• 5:19
  yet,
• 5:19
  but
• 5:19
  I
• 5:19
  bought
• 5:19
  a
• 5:19
  bikini.
• 5:21
  I
• 5:21
  did.
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  did.
• 5:23
  And
• 5:23
  you
• 5:23
  did
• 5:23
  wear
• 5:23
  it.
• 5:24
  There's
• 5:24
  proof.
• 5:24
  There's
• 5:25
  proof.
• 5:25
  I
• 5:25
  wore
• 5:25
  it
• 5:25
  in
• 5:25
  my
• 5:26
  boudoir
• 5:26
  photo
• 5:26
  shoots.
• 5:27
  One
• 5:28
  boudoir
• 5:29
  photography.
• 5:30
  Exactly.
• 5:31
  Exactly.
• 5:32
  And
• 5:33
  so
• 5:33
  I
• 5:33
  felt
• 5:33
  really
• 5:34
  cute
• 5:34
  in
• 5:34
  it.
• 5:35
  Except,
• 5:35
  like,
• 5:35
  there's
• 5:36
  this
• 5:36
  role
• 5:36
  that
• 5:37
  I
• 5:37
  have
• 5:37
  on
• 5:37
  my
• 5:37
  stomach
• 5:38
  that
• 5:38
  I
• 5:38
  just.
• 5:38
  Well,
• 5:38
  there's
• 5:39
  two
• 5:39
  roles,
• 5:39
  really,
• 5:40
  but
• 5:41
  one
• 5:41
  of
• 5:41
  them
• 5:41
  won't
• 5:42
  be
• 5:42
  hidden.
• 5:43
  And
• 5:43
  I
• 5:44
  just.
• 5:44
  You
• 5:44
  know
• 5:44
  what?
• 5:45
  I
• 5:45
  am
• 5:45
  going
• 5:45
  to.
• 5:46
  I'm
• 5:46
  going
• 5:46
  to
• 5:46
  do
• 5:46
  it.
• 5:46
  I'm
• 5:47
  going
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  wear
• 5:47
  it.
• 5:47
  I'm
• 5:47
  going
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  wear
• 5:47
  it
• 5:48
  in
• 5:48
  public.
• 5:48
  And
• 5:49
  I'm
• 5:49
  so
• 5:49
  excited.
• 5:49
  I'm
• 5:50
  going
• 5:50
  to
• 5:50
  just
• 5:50
  kind
• 5:50
  of
• 5:50
  try
• 5:50
  to
• 5:50
  be
• 5:51
  like,
• 5:51
  you
• 5:51
  know
• 5:51
  what?
• 5:51
  Yeah,
• 5:52
  I
• 5:52
  don't
• 5:52
  have
• 5:52
  a
• 5:52
  perfect
• 5:52
  body,
• 5:53
  but
• 5:53
  I
• 5:54
  want
• 5:54
  to
• 5:54
  have
• 5:54
  fun.
• 5:54
  Now.
• 5:55
  I
• 5:55
  expect
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  to
• 5:55
  wear
• 5:56
  it
• 5:56
  when
• 5:56
  we're
• 5:56
  in
• 5:56
  Mexico.
• 5:57
  I
• 5:57
  will.
• 5:57
  Yes.
• 5:58
  Yeah.
• 5:59
  Well,
• 5:59
  we're
• 5:59
  going
• 6:00
  to
• 6:00
  Mexico
• 6:00
  together,
• 6:01
  so.
• 6:01
  Yeah,
• 6:01
  that's
• 6:02
  a
• 6:02
  story
• 6:02
  for
• 6:02
  another
• 6:02
  time,
• 6:03
  because
• 6:03
  we're
• 6:03
  still
• 6:03
  planning,
• 6:04
  but
• 6:04
  we're
• 6:04
  doing
• 6:04
  it.
• 6:05
  Maybe
• 6:05
  we'll
• 6:05
  bring
• 6:06
  you
• 6:06
  guys
• 6:06
  with
• 6:06
  us,
• 6:06
  but
• 6:06
  who
• 6:07
  wants
• 6:07
  to
• 6:07
  bring
• 6:07
  work
• 6:08
  to
• 6:08
  vacation?
• 6:09
  We
• 6:09
  do,
• 6:09
  because
• 6:09
  we
• 6:09
  love
• 6:10
  our
• 6:10
  people.
• 6:12
  Oh,
• 6:13
  my
• 6:13
  God.
• 6:13
  Did
• 6:14
  that
• 6:14
  just
• 6:14
  come
• 6:14
  in
• 6:14
  my
• 6:14
  mouth?
• 6:15
  Well,
• 6:17
  I'm
• 6:17
  just
• 6:17
  kidding.
• 6:17
  I'm
• 6:18
  just
• 6:18
  kidding.
• 6:18
  No,
• 6:19
  love
• 6:19
  you
• 6:20
  guys.
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  love
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  podcast.
• 6:21
  It
• 6:21
  is
• 6:21
  a
• 6:22
  lot
• 6:22
  of
• 6:22
  work,
• 6:22
  though.
• 6:22
  And
• 6:23
  this
• 6:23
  is.
• 6:24
  Yes,
• 6:24
  you're.
• 6:24
  Yeah,
• 6:25
  yeah,
• 6:25
  it's
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  lot
• 6:25
  of
• 6:25
  work.
• 6:25
  It's
• 6:26
  a
• 6:26
  lot
• 6:26
  of
• 6:26
  work.
• 6:26
  But.
• 6:26
  But
• 6:27
  we'll
• 6:27
  probably
• 6:27
  have
• 6:27
  some,
• 6:28
  like,
• 6:28
  little
• 6:28
  clips
• 6:28
  that
• 6:29
  we
• 6:29
  can
• 6:29
  share.
• 6:30
  Yes,
• 6:30
  absolutely.
• 6:31
  Because
• 6:31
  we
• 6:31
  like
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  share
• 6:32
  with
• 6:32
  you.
• 6:32
  Guys,
• 6:33
  but
• 6:33
  we're
• 6:33
  not
• 6:33
  even
• 6:33
  gonna
• 6:33
  go
• 6:34
  till
• 6:34
  next
• 6:34
  January
• 6:35
  or
• 6:35
  something.
• 6:36
  Yeah,
• 6:36
  and
• 6:36
  there's
• 6:37
  a
• 6:37
  whole.
• 6:37
  Another
• 6:37
  fun
• 6:37
  story
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  that,
• 6:38
  but
• 6:38
  another
• 6:39
  time.
• 6:39
  You'll
• 6:40
  hear
• 6:40
  about
• 6:40
  it
• 6:40
  in
• 6:41
  the
• 6:41
  upcoming
• 6:41
  season,
• 6:43
  which
• 6:44
  have
• 6:44
  you.
• 6:44
  I
• 6:44
  don't
• 6:44
  know
• 6:44
  if
• 6:45
  you
• 6:45
  guys
• 6:45
  noticed,
• 6:45
  but
• 6:46
  we
• 6:46
  do.
• 6:47
  We
• 6:47
  have
• 6:47
  this
• 6:47
  episode
• 6:48
  coming
• 6:48
  out,
• 6:48
  and
• 6:49
  then
• 6:49
  we
• 6:49
  only
• 6:49
  have
• 6:50
  three
• 6:50
  more
• 6:50
  episodes.
• 6:51
  Holy
• 6:52
  crap.
• 6:52
  Three
• 6:53
  more
• 6:53
  episodes
• 6:53
  for
• 6:54
  this
• 6:54
  season.
• 6:54
  For
• 6:54
  the
• 6:55
  season.
• 6:55
  And
• 6:55
  that's
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  wrap.
• 6:56
  The
• 6:56
  last
• 6:57
  episode,
• 6:57
  what,
• 6:58
  like
• 6:58
  August
• 6:58
  17th,
• 6:59
  14th?
• 6:59
  Is
• 7:00
  that
• 7:00
  what
• 7:00
  the
• 7:00
  date
• 7:01
  is?
• 7:01
  As
• 7:02
  I
• 7:02
  try
• 7:02
  and
• 7:02
  look
• 7:02
  really
• 7:03
  fast
• 7:03
  for
• 7:03
  y'.
• 7:03
  All.
• 7:04
  Yeah.
• 7:05
  The
• 7:05
  last
• 7:05
  episode
• 7:06
  of
• 7:06
  this
• 7:06
  season
• 7:07
  is
• 7:07
  August
• 7:07
  14th.
• 7:08
  Wow.
• 7:09
  Yeah.
• 7:09
  And
• 7:09
  then
• 7:09
  we'll
• 7:09
  be
• 7:09
  back
• 7:10
  about
• 7:10
  mid
• 7:10
  October.
• 7:11
  My
• 7:11
  gosh.
• 7:12
  We're
• 7:12
  doing
• 7:12
  it.
• 7:13
  We're
• 7:13
  just
• 7:13
  rolling
• 7:13
  through
• 7:14
  the
• 7:14
  season.
• 7:14
  We
• 7:14
  are.
• 7:15
  And
• 7:15
  season
• 7:15
  four
• 7:16
  is
• 7:16
  going
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  be.
• 7:16
  A
• 7:17
  breeze
• 7:17
  because
• 7:18
  we're
• 7:18
  starting
• 7:18
  to
• 7:18
  get.
• 7:19
  Pours
• 7:20
  of
• 7:20
  people
• 7:21
  asking
• 7:21
  to
• 7:22
  be
• 7:22
  on
• 7:22
  the
• 7:22
  show.
• 7:22
  It's
• 7:22
  pretty
• 7:22
  cool.
• 7:23
  It
• 7:23
  is.
• 7:24
  So
• 7:24
  there's
• 7:24
  just
• 7:25
  so
• 7:25
  many
• 7:25
  conversations
• 7:26
  to
• 7:26
  have,
• 7:26
  and
• 7:26
  I
• 7:26
  feel
• 7:26
  like
• 7:27
  the
• 7:27
  more
• 7:27
  of
• 7:27
  them
• 7:27
  that
• 7:27
  we
• 7:27
  talk
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  and
• 7:28
  we
• 7:28
  start
• 7:28
  recording
• 7:29
  because
• 7:29
  we
• 7:29
  have
• 7:29
  began
• 7:30
  recording
• 7:30
  for
• 7:30
  season
• 7:30
  four.
• 7:31
  Oh,
• 7:31
  my
• 7:31
  gosh,
• 7:31
  you
• 7:31
  guys.
• 7:32
  I
• 7:32
  wish
• 7:32
  so
• 7:32
  bad
• 7:33
  that
• 7:33
  it
• 7:33
  was
• 7:33
  dropping
• 7:33
  sooner
• 7:34
  because
• 7:34
  I
• 7:34
  can't
• 7:35
  wait
• 7:35
  for
• 7:35
  them
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  hear
• 7:35
  who
• 7:35
  we
• 7:36
  spoke
• 7:36
  with
• 7:36
  today.
• 7:36
  Like,
• 7:36
  I
• 7:37
  had
• 7:37
  chills
• 7:37
  through
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  whole
• 7:38
  conversation.
• 7:39
  Yeah.
• 7:39
  And
• 7:40
  in
• 7:40
  fact,
• 7:41
  when
• 7:41
  we
• 7:41
  finished
• 7:41
  that
• 7:41
  recording,
• 7:42
  we
• 7:42
  both
• 7:42
  looked
• 7:42
  at
• 7:42
  each
• 7:42
  other
• 7:43
  and
• 7:43
  we
• 7:43
  go,
• 7:43
  we
• 7:43
  have
• 7:43
  to
• 7:44
  do
• 7:44
  a
• 7:44
  part
• 7:44
  two
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  release
• 7:45
  right
• 7:46
  after
• 7:46
  it.
• 7:46
  Yeah.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:47
  so,
• 7:47
  yeah,
• 7:47
  we're
• 7:48
  hoping
• 7:48
  she's
• 7:48
  gonna.
• 7:48
  Get
• 7:48
  on
• 7:49
  board
• 7:49
  with
• 7:49
  us.
• 7:49
  Yeah,
• 7:50
  she
• 7:50
  will.
• 7:50
  She
• 7:50
  will.
• 7:51
  She's
• 7:51
  pretty
• 7:51
  cool.
• 7:51
  Yeah,
• 7:52
  she's
• 7:52
  awesome.
• 7:54
  Anywho,
• 7:54
  so
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  kind
• 7:55
  of
• 7:55
  wanted
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  ask,
• 7:56
  because
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  did
• 7:56
  miss
• 7:56
  our
• 7:57
  girls
• 7:57
  trip
• 7:57
  that
• 7:58
  went
• 7:58
  downtown
• 7:58
  to
• 7:59
  downtown
• 7:59
  Atlanta
• 7:59
  with
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  and
• 8:00
  Courtney.
• 8:01
  Yes.
• 8:01
  You
• 8:01
  were
• 8:02
  supposed
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  be
• 8:02
  with
• 8:02
  us.
• 8:03
  I
• 8:03
  don't
• 8:03
  know
• 8:03
  if
• 8:03
  you
• 8:03
  guys
• 8:04
  remember
• 8:04
  that.
• 8:04
  That,
• 8:04
  I
• 8:05
  think.
• 8:05
  Oh,
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  was
• 8:06
  the
• 8:06
  last
• 8:06
  episode.
• 8:07
  But,
• 8:07
  like,
• 8:07
  two
• 8:07
  episodes
• 8:07
  ago,
• 8:07
  I
• 8:08
  think
• 8:08
  you
• 8:09
  had
• 8:09
  mentioned
• 8:09
  missing.
• 8:12
  Yes,
• 8:13
  that's
• 8:13
  what
• 8:14
  it
• 8:14
  was.
• 8:14
  Courtney
• 8:14
  and
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  and
• 8:15
  Melissa
• 8:16
  were
• 8:16
  going
• 8:16
  to
• 8:16
  a
• 8:16
  strip
• 8:16
  club.
• 8:17
  I'd
• 8:18
  never
• 8:18
  been
• 8:18
  to
• 8:18
  a
• 8:19
  strip
• 8:19
  club
• 8:19
  in
• 8:19
  my
• 8:19
  life.
• 8:20
  We
• 8:20
  hadn't
• 8:20
  either.
• 8:22
  We
• 8:22
  hadn't
• 8:22
  either.
• 8:22
  But,
• 8:23
  like,
• 8:23
  the
• 8:23
  Claremont
• 8:24
  Lounge,
• 8:24
  if,
• 8:24
  you
• 8:24
  know,
• 8:24
  like,
• 8:25
  Atlanta,
• 8:25
  like,
• 8:25
  the
• 8:25
  Claremont
• 8:26
  is
• 8:26
  a
• 8:26
  staple.
• 8:27
  It's
• 8:27
  a
• 8:27
  landmark.
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  had
• 8:28
  never
• 8:28
  known
• 8:28
  this.
• 8:29
  Yeah,
• 8:30
  I
• 8:30
  don't.
• 8:30
  I
• 8:30
  don't
• 8:30
  know
• 8:31
  why
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  know
• 8:31
  that
• 8:31
  since,
• 8:31
  you
• 8:32
  know,
• 8:32
  strip
• 8:32
  clubs
• 8:33
  and
• 8:33
  naked
• 8:33
  people,
• 8:33
  you.
• 8:34
  But.
• 8:35
  But.
• 8:35
  Well,
• 8:35
  I
• 8:35
  don't
• 8:36
  want
• 8:36
  to
• 8:36
  say,
• 8:36
  but
• 8:36
  when
• 8:37
  I
• 8:37
  looked
• 8:37
  up
• 8:37
  the
• 8:37
  Clermont,
• 8:38
  it's,
• 8:38
  like,
• 8:38
  not
• 8:38
  all
• 8:38
  really
• 8:39
  even
• 8:39
  mentioned,
• 8:40
  really,
• 8:40
  about
• 8:40
  the
• 8:40
  strip
• 8:40
  club.
• 8:41
  It's
• 8:41
  more
• 8:41
  like
• 8:42
  it's
• 8:42
  an
• 8:42
  old
• 8:42
  hotel
• 8:43
  from,
• 8:43
  like,
• 8:43
  the
• 8:43
  1920s
• 8:44
  or
• 8:44
  something,
• 8:44
  and
• 8:45
  it's,
• 8:45
  like
• 8:45
  a
• 8:45
  really
• 8:45
  weird,
• 8:46
  charming
• 8:46
  place.
• 8:47
  Yeah.
• 8:48
  Okay.
• 8:48
  And
• 8:48
  so
• 8:49
  the
• 8:49
  Clermont
• 8:50
  is
• 8:50
  known
• 8:50
  for
• 8:51
  its
• 8:51
  unusual
• 8:52
  entertainment.
• 8:53
  So
• 8:53
  these
• 8:53
  strippers,
• 8:54
  the
• 8:54
  strippers,
• 8:55
  the.
• 8:55
  The
• 8:55
  entertainers,
• 8:56
  they
• 8:56
  aren't
• 8:58
  your
• 8:58
  average
• 9:00
  image.
• 9:00
  Wait,
• 9:00
  you
• 9:01
  mean
• 9:01
  everybody
• 9:01
  doesn't
• 9:01
  just
• 9:02
  go
• 9:02
  to
• 9:02
  strip
• 9:02
  clubs?
• 9:03
  That's
• 9:04
  not
• 9:04
  average.
• 9:05
  I'm
• 9:06
  just
• 9:06
  teasing.
• 9:06
  No,
• 9:06
  they
• 9:07
  don't
• 9:07
  look
• 9:07
  like
• 9:07
  what
• 9:07
  you.
• 9:08
  Oh,
• 9:08
  you're
• 9:08
  talking
• 9:08
  about
• 9:08
  the
• 9:08
  women
• 9:09
  themselves.
• 9:09
  So,
• 9:09
  yeah,
• 9:10
  the
• 9:10
  entertainers
• 9:11
  themselves
• 9:11
  don't.
• 9:11
  What
• 9:12
  do
• 9:12
  they
• 9:12
  look
• 9:12
  like?
• 9:13
  So
• 9:13
  you
• 9:14
  have.
• 9:14
  All
• 9:15
  right,
• 9:15
  just
• 9:15
  to
• 9:16
  paint
• 9:16
  a
• 9:16
  picture,
• 9:16
  okay.
• 9:16
  The
• 9:17
  most
• 9:17
  famous
• 9:17
  entertainer
• 9:18
  there.
• 9:18
  Her
• 9:19
  name
• 9:19
  is
• 9:19
  Blondie.
• 9:19
  Okay.
• 9:20
  She
• 9:20
  is
• 9:21
  68
• 9:22
  years
• 9:22
  old.
• 9:22
  Oh,
• 9:23
  awesome.
• 9:23
  And
• 9:24
  she
• 9:24
  has
• 9:24
  been
• 9:25
  at
• 9:25
  the
• 9:25
  Claremont
• 9:26
  Lounge
• 9:26
  for
• 9:26
  47
• 9:27
  years.
• 9:27
  She
• 9:27
  actually
• 9:28
  celebrated
• 9:28
  her
• 9:28
  47th
• 9:29
  year
• 9:30
  as
• 9:30
  an
• 9:30
  entertainer
• 9:31
  at
• 9:31
  the
• 9:31
  Claremont
• 9:32
  Lounge
• 9:32
  the
• 9:32
  day
• 9:33
  we
• 9:33
  were
• 9:33
  there.
• 9:33
  Whoa.
• 9:34
  And
• 9:34
  what
• 9:34
  she
• 9:35
  is
• 9:35
  known
• 9:35
  for
• 9:36
  is
• 9:37
  crushing
• 9:37
  beers
• 9:37
  with
• 9:38
  her
• 9:38
  boobs.
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  hadn't
• 9:42
  told
• 9:42
  you
• 9:42
  that,
• 9:42
  did
• 9:42
  I?
• 9:43
  No.
• 9:43
  Yes.
• 9:44
  And
• 9:44
  so
• 9:44
  that
• 9:45
  was,
• 9:45
  like,
• 9:45
  Courtney's,
• 9:45
  like,
• 9:46
  mission.
• 9:46
  I'm
• 9:46
  gonna
• 9:47
  meet
• 9:47
  Blondie
• 9:47
  and
• 9:48
  I'm
• 9:48
  gonna
• 9:48
  have
• 9:48
  a
• 9:48
  can
• 9:49
  crushed
• 9:49
  in
• 9:49
  her
• 9:49
  boobs.
• 9:49
  What
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  heck?
• 9:50
  And
• 9:51
  we
• 9:51
  sure
• 9:51
  did.
• 9:51
  She
• 9:51
  was
• 9:52
  the
• 9:52
  first
• 9:52
  person
• 9:52
  we
• 9:52
  ran
• 9:53
  into.
• 9:53
  She's
• 9:53
  so
• 9:53
  strong.
• 9:54
  Okay.
• 9:55
  So
• 9:55
  what
• 9:55
  we
• 9:56
  thought
• 9:56
  was
• 9:56
  that
• 9:56
  she's
• 9:56
  gonna,
• 9:57
  like,
• 9:57
  lift
• 9:57
  her
• 9:57
  boob
• 9:57
  and,
• 9:57
  like,
• 9:58
  they're
• 9:58
  gonna
• 9:58
  be
• 9:58
  huge
• 9:58
  boobs
• 9:58
  and,
• 9:59
  like,
• 9:59
  crush
• 9:59
  it,
• 9:59
  you
• 9:59
  know,
• 9:59
  like
• 10:00
  a
• 10:00
  hammer.
• 10:00
  It's
• 10:00
  more
• 10:00
  of,
• 10:00
  like,
• 10:00
  a
• 10:01
  pulling
• 10:01
  the
• 10:01
  shoulders
• 10:02
  forward
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  a
• 10:02
  peck
• 10:03
  thing.
• 10:03
  Yeah.
• 10:03
  She's
• 10:03
  68
• 10:04
  years
• 10:04
  old,
• 10:04
  guys.
• 10:04
  Like.
• 10:05
  Yeah.
• 10:05
  So
• 10:05
  she.
• 10:05
  It
• 10:05
  goes
• 10:06
  in
• 10:06
  between
• 10:06
  her
• 10:06
  boobs,
• 10:06
  and
• 10:06
  then
• 10:06
  she
• 10:07
  just
• 10:07
  kind
• 10:07
  of
• 10:07
  crushes
• 10:07
  it,
• 10:07
  you
• 10:08
  know,
• 10:08
  Shoves
• 10:08
  her
• 10:09
  boobs
• 10:09
  together.
• 10:09
  Hands.
• 10:10
  Yeah.
• 10:11
  It
• 10:11
  wasn't
• 10:11
  as
• 10:11
  crazy
• 10:12
  as,
• 10:12
  like,
• 10:12
  what
• 10:12
  we
• 10:13
  thought,
• 10:13
  but
• 10:13
  anyways,
• 10:13
  it's
• 10:14
  okay.
• 10:14
  Blondie,
• 10:14
  they
• 10:14
  still
• 10:15
  liked
• 10:15
  you.
• 10:16
  Yes.
• 10:17
  And
• 10:17
  so
• 10:18
  Courtney
• 10:18
  got
• 10:18
  this
• 10:18
  whole
• 10:19
  kit
• 10:20
  of
• 10:20
  papers
• 10:20
  that
• 10:21
  Blondie
• 10:21
  has
• 10:22
  created.
• 10:22
  Like,
• 10:23
  you
• 10:23
  know,
• 10:23
  stories,
• 10:23
  life
• 10:24
  stories.
• 10:24
  Like.
• 10:25
  Oh,
• 10:25
  yeah,
• 10:25
  all
• 10:26
  this
• 10:26
  stuff,
• 10:26
  like
• 10:26
  this
• 10:27
  baggie.
• 10:27
  And
• 10:28
  she
• 10:28
  sells
• 10:29
  she.
• 10:29
  Well,
• 10:29
  I
• 10:30
  mean,
• 10:30
  because
• 10:30
  she.
• 10:31
  People
• 10:31
  don't
• 10:32
  really
• 10:32
  often
• 10:33
  ask
• 10:33
  for
• 10:33
  a
• 10:33
  lap
• 10:34
  dance,
• 10:34
  and
• 10:34
  a
• 10:34
  lap
• 10:34
  dance
• 10:34
  is
• 10:35
  about
• 10:35
  20
• 10:35
  a
• 10:35
  dance.
• 10:36
  So
• 10:36
  she
• 10:36
  does
• 10:37
  $20
• 10:37
  a
• 10:37
  can.
• 10:37
  Crush.
• 10:38
  And
• 10:39
  so
• 10:39
  got
• 10:39
  you.
• 10:40
  Yeah.
• 10:40
  You,
• 10:40
  like,
• 10:40
  pay
• 10:40
  her
• 10:41
  $20,
• 10:41
  and
• 10:41
  so
• 10:41
  she
• 10:41
  gives
• 10:42
  you
• 10:42
  this
• 10:42
  little
• 10:42
  baggie
• 10:42
  to
• 10:43
  take
• 10:43
  home
• 10:43
  with,
• 10:43
  like,
• 10:43
  information
• 10:44
  about
• 10:44
  her,
• 10:44
  and
• 10:44
  she'll,
• 10:45
  like.
• 10:45
  She
• 10:45
  kissed
• 10:45
  the
• 10:45
  can
• 10:46
  and
• 10:46
  signed
• 10:46
  all
• 10:46
  the
• 10:46
  paper.
• 10:47
  Like,
• 10:47
  signed
• 10:48
  it
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  Courtney.
• 10:48
  Interesting.
• 10:49
  Yeah,
• 10:50
  it
• 10:50
  was
• 10:50
  really
• 10:50
  funny.
• 10:51
  We
• 10:51
  had
• 10:51
  a
• 10:51
  great
• 10:51
  time.
• 10:52
  So
• 10:52
  ne.
• 10:53
  None
• 10:53
  of
• 10:53
  us
• 10:53
  had
• 10:53
  been
• 10:53
  to
• 10:53
  a
• 10:54
  strip
• 10:54
  club.
• 10:54
  We
• 10:54
  got
• 10:55
  our
• 10:55
  first
• 10:55
  lap
• 10:55
  dance,
• 10:56
  and
• 10:56
  it
• 10:56
  was
• 10:56
  by
• 10:57
  Coco
• 10:58
  at
• 10:58
  the
• 10:58
  Clermont
• 10:59
  Lounge.
• 10:59
  And
• 10:59
  let
• 10:59
  me
• 10:59
  just
• 10:59
  tell
• 11:00
  you,
• 11:00
  we
• 11:00
  fell
• 11:00
  in
• 11:01
  love
• 11:01
  with
• 11:01
  a
• 11:01
  stripper.
• 11:03
  Isn't
• 11:04
  that
• 11:04
  like
• 11:04
  a
• 11:04
  movie
• 11:05
  or
• 11:05
  a
• 11:05
  song
• 11:05
  or
• 11:05
  something?
• 11:06
  I'm
• 11:07
  in
• 11:07
  love
• 11:07
  with
• 11:08
  a
• 11:08
  stripper.
• 11:08
  Yeah.
• 11:09
  We
• 11:09
  are
• 11:09
  in
• 11:09
  love
• 11:09
  with
• 11:09
  Coco.
• 11:10
  She
• 11:10
  gave
• 11:11
  us
• 11:11
  both
• 11:11
  our
• 11:11
  first
• 11:11
  laughter.
• 11:12
  They're
• 11:12
  in
• 11:12
  love
• 11:12
  with
• 11:13
  Coco.
• 11:14
  Yes.
• 11:14
  Let
• 11:14
  me
• 11:14
  just
• 11:15
  telling
• 11:15
  you,
• 11:16
  Courtney
• 11:16
  was
• 11:16
  so
• 11:17
  in
• 11:17
  love
• 11:17
  with
• 11:17
  Coco.
• 11:20
  Poor
• 11:20
  Courtney.
• 11:21
  Should
• 11:21
  we
• 11:21
  not
• 11:21
  Be
• 11:21
  dropping
• 11:21
  her
• 11:22
  name
• 11:22
  throughout
• 11:22
  this
• 11:22
  whole
• 11:22
  episode.
• 11:23
  No,
• 11:23
  she's
• 11:23
  very
• 11:23
  proud
• 11:23
  of
• 11:23
  this.
• 11:24
  Okay,
• 11:24
  good.
• 11:24
  She's
• 11:25
  so
• 11:25
  in
• 11:25
  love
• 11:25
  with
• 11:25
  Coco
• 11:26
  that
• 11:27
  she
• 11:27
  asked
• 11:27
  Coco
• 11:28
  what
• 11:28
  her
• 11:28
  perfume
• 11:28
  was
• 11:28
  and
• 11:29
  then
• 11:29
  spent
• 11:29
  the
• 11:29
  whole
• 11:29
  entire
• 11:30
  day.
• 11:30
  The
• 11:30
  next
• 11:30
  day
• 11:31
  trying
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  find
• 11:32
  it.
• 11:32
  Trying
• 11:32
  to
• 11:33
  find
• 11:33
  it.
• 11:33
  Like,
• 11:33
  literally
• 11:34
  went
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  the
• 11:34
  mall
• 11:34
  and
• 11:34
  was
• 11:35
  store
• 11:35
  popping
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  having
• 11:36
  people
• 11:36
  help
• 11:36
  her.
• 11:36
  What
• 11:36
  is
• 11:37
  it,
• 11:37
  dude?
• 11:37
  I
• 11:38
  don't
• 11:38
  remember.
• 11:39
  And
• 11:40
  she
• 11:41
  expense.
• 11:41
  She
• 11:42
  must
• 11:42
  have
• 11:42
  loved
• 11:42
  it.
• 11:43
  Yeah,
• 11:43
  I
• 11:43
  won't,
• 11:44
  I
• 11:44
  won't
• 11:44
  out
• 11:44
  you
• 11:44
  on
• 11:45
  how
• 11:45
  much
• 11:45
  you
• 11:45
  spent
• 11:45
  on
• 11:45
  it,
• 11:46
  Courtney.
• 11:47
  But
• 11:48
  yes,
• 11:48
  she
• 11:48
  loved
• 11:48
  Coco
• 11:49
  and
• 11:49
  was
• 11:49
  obsessed
• 11:49
  with
• 11:50
  Coco
• 11:50
  so
• 11:50
  much
• 11:50
  that
• 11:51
  she
• 11:51
  found
• 11:51
  a
• 11:51
  designer
• 11:52
  perfume.
• 11:52
  My
• 11:53
  goodness,
• 11:54
  Courtney.
• 11:55
  Yeah,
• 11:56
  it
• 11:56
  was
• 11:56
  a
• 11:56
  great
• 11:56
  time.
• 11:56
  And
• 11:57
  then
• 11:57
  next
• 11:57
  time
• 11:57
  you're
• 11:57
  over
• 11:58
  Courtney,
• 11:58
  or
• 11:58
  next
• 11:58
  time
• 11:58
  we
• 11:59
  see
• 11:59
  each
• 11:59
  other,
• 11:59
  I
• 11:59
  need
• 11:59
  a
• 11:59
  lap
• 12:00
  dance
• 12:00
  and
• 12:01
  she.
• 12:01
  Has
• 12:01
  to
• 12:01
  smell
• 12:02
  like
• 12:02
  cocoa.
• 12:02
  Well,
• 12:02
  obviously.
• 12:05
  Yeah.
• 12:05
  And
• 12:05
  so
• 12:06
  we
• 12:06
  were
• 12:06
  there
• 12:06
  early,
• 12:07
  like
• 12:07
  earlier
• 12:07
  in
• 12:07
  the
• 12:08
  night.
• 12:08
  Okay.
• 12:08
  So
• 12:08
  before
• 12:08
  it
• 12:09
  was
• 12:09
  like
• 12:09
  super
• 12:09
  crowded.
• 12:09
  And
• 12:10
  then
• 12:10
  honestly,
• 12:10
  by
• 12:10
  time
• 12:10
  it
• 12:11
  got
• 12:11
  crowded,
• 12:11
  we
• 12:11
  were,
• 12:12
  we
• 12:12
  had
• 12:12
  experience.
• 12:13
  What
• 12:13
  kinds
• 12:13
  of
• 12:13
  people
• 12:14
  were
• 12:14
  there?
• 12:14
  Like,
• 12:14
  did
• 12:15
  you
• 12:15
  feel
• 12:15
  like
• 12:15
  it
• 12:15
  was
• 12:16
  kind
• 12:16
  of
• 12:16
  gross
• 12:16
  people
• 12:17
  or
• 12:17
  nice
• 12:17
  people
• 12:17
  or
• 12:18
  just
• 12:18
  weird?
• 12:18
  All
• 12:18
  kinds.
• 12:19
  Like,
• 12:19
  are
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  talking
• 12:19
  about
• 12:20
  entertainer
• 12:20
  wise
• 12:20
  or
• 12:20
  like.
• 12:21
  No,
• 12:21
  like
• 12:22
  clients.
• 12:22
  Yeah,
• 12:22
  the
• 12:23
  crowd
• 12:23
  clients.
• 12:24
  That
• 12:24
  would
• 12:24
  be
• 12:24
  sex
• 12:24
  work.
• 12:25
  Melissa
• 12:25
  and
• 12:25
  I.
• 12:26
  It
• 12:26
  is
• 12:26
  sex
• 12:26
  work.
• 12:27
  Is
• 12:28
  it?
• 12:28
  Yeah,
• 12:29
  they're
• 12:29
  professionals.
• 12:29
  They're
• 12:30
  getting
• 12:30
  paid.
• 12:30
  Wait,
• 12:31
  but
• 12:31
  prostitution's
• 12:31
  illegal.
• 12:32
  It's
• 12:33
  not
• 12:33
  prostitution.
• 12:34
  It's
• 12:34
  sex
• 12:34
  work.
• 12:36
  I'm
• 12:36
  going
• 12:36
  to
• 12:36
  look
• 12:36
  up
• 12:36
  the
• 12:37
  difference.
• 12:37
  Okay,
• 12:38
  I
• 12:38
  will
• 12:38
  educate
• 12:38
  myself.
• 12:40
  Why'd
• 12:40
  you
• 12:40
  ask
• 12:41
  me
• 12:41
  the.
• 12:41
  The
• 12:41
  technical.
• 12:42
  What
• 12:42
  the
• 12:42
  crowd
• 12:43
  was
• 12:43
  like?
• 12:44
  Okay,
• 12:45
  so
• 12:45
  the
• 12:46
  most
• 12:46
  interesting
• 12:47
  person
• 12:47
  in
• 12:47
  the
• 12:47
  crowd
• 12:48
  that
• 12:48
  we
• 12:48
  saw
• 12:48
  was
• 12:49
  at
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  table
• 12:49
  next
• 12:49
  to
• 12:50
  us
• 12:50
  because
• 12:50
  we
• 12:50
  got
• 12:50
  there
• 12:50
  early
• 12:51
  enough
• 12:51
  to
• 12:51
  get
• 12:51
  a
• 12:51
  table.
• 12:52
  There
• 12:52
  was
• 12:52
  this
• 12:52
  old
• 12:53
  man
• 12:53
  with
• 12:53
  a
• 12:54
  composition
• 12:54
  book
• 12:55
  and
• 12:55
  he's
• 12:55
  at
• 12:55
  the
• 12:55
  table
• 12:56
  just
• 12:56
  writing
• 12:56
  things
• 12:56
  on
• 12:56
  the
• 12:57
  composition
• 12:57
  book.
• 12:57
  Interesting.
• 12:58
  And
• 12:58
  so
• 12:58
  Coco's
• 12:59
  dancing
• 12:59
  and
• 12:59
  we
• 12:59
  just
• 12:59
  kind
• 12:59
  of
• 13:00
  lean
• 13:00
  over
• 13:00
  and
• 13:00
  we're
• 13:00
  like,
• 13:01
  hey,
• 13:01
  what
• 13:01
  is
• 13:01
  the
• 13:02
  old
• 13:02
  man
• 13:02
  doing?
• 13:02
  Like,
• 13:03
  what
• 13:03
  is
• 13:03
  he
• 13:03
  writing?
• 13:03
  Oh,
• 13:04
  you
• 13:04
  asked
• 13:04
  her?
• 13:04
  Yeah,
• 13:05
  we
• 13:05
  did.
• 13:05
  Because
• 13:05
  we
• 13:06
  were
• 13:06
  like,
• 13:06
  is
• 13:06
  he
• 13:06
  being
• 13:06
  like,
• 13:07
  what
• 13:07
  is
• 13:07
  happening?
• 13:08
  And
• 13:08
  she
• 13:08
  goes,
• 13:09
  oh,
• 13:09
  he's
• 13:09
  just
• 13:09
  a
• 13:09
  regular.
• 13:10
  Like,
• 13:10
  he
• 13:10
  just,
• 13:11
  he's,
• 13:11
  he's
• 13:11
  just
• 13:11
  here.
• 13:12
  He
• 13:12
  has
• 13:12
  like
• 13:12
  this
• 13:12
  high
• 13:13
  profile
• 13:14
  job
• 13:14
  and
• 13:14
  he
• 13:15
  comes
• 13:15
  and
• 13:15
  sits
• 13:15
  down
• 13:16
  to
• 13:16
  relax
• 13:17
  and
• 13:17
  he
• 13:17
  just
• 13:17
  writes
• 13:17
  notes
• 13:18
  in
• 13:18
  his
• 13:18
  position.
• 13:19
  But
• 13:19
  yeah,
• 13:19
  and
• 13:19
  they're
• 13:20
  like,
• 13:20
  yeah,
• 13:20
  he's
• 13:20
  a
• 13:20
  great
• 13:20
  guy.
• 13:21
  Like,
• 13:21
  we
• 13:21
  all
• 13:21
  know
• 13:21
  him.
• 13:21
  Like,
• 13:22
  I
• 13:22
  was
• 13:22
  like,
• 13:22
  oh,
• 13:22
  okay.
• 13:23
  He's
• 13:23
  very
• 13:23
  supportive.
• 13:23
  So
• 13:24
  it's
• 13:24
  creepy
• 13:24
  from
• 13:24
  like
• 13:24
  an
• 13:25
  outsider's.
• 13:25
  View,
• 13:25
  but
• 13:25
  like,
• 13:26
  we're
• 13:26
  not
• 13:26
  used
• 13:26
  to
• 13:26
  that
• 13:27
  lifestyle.
• 13:28
  But
• 13:28
  everyone
• 13:29
  else,
• 13:29
  it
• 13:29
  was
• 13:29
  like
• 13:29
  young
• 13:30
  people,
• 13:31
  a
• 13:31
  lot
• 13:31
  of
• 13:31
  Young
• 13:31
  people
• 13:32
  and
• 13:32
  that
• 13:32
  were
• 13:33
  going
• 13:33
  there,
• 13:33
  you
• 13:33
  know,
• 13:33
  for
• 13:33
  the
• 13:34
  experience.
• 13:34
  Because
• 13:34
  it's
• 13:34
  an
• 13:35
  experience,
• 13:35
  honestly.
• 13:36
  Awesome.
• 13:36
  So
• 13:37
  it
• 13:37
  was
• 13:37
  a
• 13:37
  lot
• 13:37
  of
• 13:37
  fun.
• 13:37
  And
• 13:38
  once
• 13:38
  it
• 13:38
  did
• 13:38
  start
• 13:39
  picking
• 13:39
  up
• 13:39
  and
• 13:39
  did
• 13:39
  start
• 13:40
  getting
• 13:40
  crowded,
• 13:40
  we
• 13:40
  honestly
• 13:41
  were
• 13:41
  like.
• 13:42
  Well,
• 13:42
  we
• 13:42
  experienced.
• 13:42
  Experienced
• 13:43
  everything.
• 13:43
  Like,
• 13:43
  that
• 13:43
  was
• 13:44
  the
• 13:44
  whole
• 13:44
  point.
• 13:45
  And
• 13:45
  we
• 13:45
  went
• 13:46
  back
• 13:46
  to
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  hotel
• 13:46
  room
• 13:47
  and
• 13:47
  we
• 13:47
  ended
• 13:47
  up
• 13:47
  playing
• 13:48
  like
• 13:49
  the
• 13:49
  charades.
• 13:50
  Oh,
• 13:51
  fun.
• 13:51
  It
• 13:51
  was
• 13:51
  like
• 13:51
  this
• 13:51
  charades
• 13:52
  headband.
• 13:52
  Yeah.
• 13:53
  So
• 13:53
  like
• 13:53
  whatever
• 13:54
  word
• 13:54
  was
• 13:54
  on
• 13:54
  the
• 13:54
  head.
• 13:57
  And
• 13:57
  you
• 13:57
  know,
• 13:57
  we
• 13:57
  had
• 13:58
  a
• 13:58
  few
• 13:58
  drinks.
• 13:58
  So
• 13:59
  it
• 13:59
  was
• 13:59
  so
• 13:59
  funny.
• 13:59
  To
• 14:00
  where
• 14:00
  Courtney.
• 14:01
  Courtney
• 14:02
  and
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  decided
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  play
• 14:03
  Jesse
• 14:04
  Murph
• 14:04
  music.
• 14:04
  And
• 14:05
  we
• 14:05
  were
• 14:05
  jumping
• 14:05
  on
• 14:05
  the
• 14:05
  bed
• 14:06
  like
• 14:06
  you
• 14:06
  would
• 14:06
  to
• 14:06
  Britney
• 14:06
  Spears.
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  don't
• 14:07
  even
• 14:07
  know
• 14:07
  who
• 14:08
  Jesse
• 14:08
  Murph
• 14:08
  is.
• 14:08
  I
• 14:09
  will
• 14:09
  enlighten
• 14:09
  you.
• 14:10
  But
• 14:10
  we
• 14:10
  were
• 14:10
  acting
• 14:10
  like
• 14:10
  it
• 14:10
  was
• 14:10
  Britney
• 14:11
  Spears
• 14:11
  jumping
• 14:12
  on
• 14:12
  our
• 14:12
  bed.
• 14:12
  Like
• 14:12
  we're
• 14:12
  like
• 14:12
  8
• 14:13
  year
• 14:13
  old
• 14:13
  Tom.
• 14:14
  Cruise
• 14:14
  on
• 14:15
  Oprah's
• 14:15
  couch.
• 14:16
  Yeah.
• 14:17
  Just
• 14:17
  kidding.
• 14:18
  And
• 14:18
  then
• 14:19
  we
• 14:19
  got
• 14:19
  so
• 14:20
  into
• 14:20
  it
• 14:20
  that
• 14:20
  Courtney
• 14:21
  literally
• 14:22
  flew
• 14:22
  off
• 14:23
  the
• 14:23
  bed
• 14:23
  on
• 14:23
  accident,
• 14:24
  like
• 14:24
  jumping,
• 14:25
  and
• 14:25
  then
• 14:25
  missed
• 14:25
  the
• 14:25
  bed
• 14:26
  and
• 14:26
  flew
• 14:27
  and
• 14:27
  fell
• 14:27
  into
• 14:27
  a
• 14:27
  corner.
• 14:28
  She's
• 14:28
  okay.
• 14:29
  She
• 14:29
  didn't
• 14:29
  get
• 14:29
  crazy.
• 14:30
  She's
• 14:30
  okay.
• 14:30
  But
• 14:30
  like,
• 14:31
  there
• 14:31
  was
• 14:31
  also
• 14:31
  a
• 14:31
  grocery
• 14:32
  bag
• 14:32
  in
• 14:32
  the
• 14:32
  corner
• 14:32
  and
• 14:33
  when
• 14:33
  she
• 14:33
  landed
• 14:33
  on
• 14:34
  it,
• 14:34
  it
• 14:34
  acted
• 14:34
  like
• 14:34
  a
• 14:34
  whoopee
• 14:35
  cushion.
• 14:35
  No,
• 14:36
  she
• 14:36
  did
• 14:36
  sound
• 14:37
  like
• 14:37
  a
• 14:37
  fart.
• 14:38
  Yes.
• 14:38
  So
• 14:38
  it
• 14:38
  was
• 14:39
  like
• 14:39
  she
• 14:39
  flew
• 14:40
  off
• 14:40
  the
• 14:40
  bed
• 14:40
  on
• 14:40
  accident.
• 14:41
  Missed
• 14:41
  the.
• 14:42
  Landed
• 14:42
  on
• 14:42
  this
• 14:43
  plastic
• 14:43
  bag
• 14:43
  that
• 14:44
  ended
• 14:44
  up
• 14:44
  sounding
• 14:44
  like
• 14:44
  a
• 14:44
  wolfie
• 14:45
  cushion.
• 14:45
  So
• 14:45
  we're
• 14:45
  laughing
• 14:46
  because
• 14:46
  what
• 14:46
  just
• 14:47
  happened.
• 14:47
  That
• 14:47
  is
• 14:47
  so
• 14:47
  funny.
• 14:49
  You're
• 14:49
  like,
• 14:49
  I
• 14:50
  promise
• 14:50
  it
• 14:51
  was
• 14:51
  funny.
• 14:51
  If
• 14:51
  you
• 14:51
  were
• 14:52
  there,
• 14:52
  you
• 14:52
  would
• 14:52
  have
• 14:52
  been
• 14:53
  dying.
• 14:53
  I
• 14:54
  bet
• 14:54
  it
• 14:54
  was
• 14:54
  hilarious.
• 14:54
  Oh,
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  realize
• 14:55
  you're
• 14:55
  not
• 14:55
  laughing.
• 14:56
  I
• 14:56
  am
• 14:56
  laughing.
• 14:57
  I'm
• 14:57
  laughing
• 14:58
  inside.
• 14:59
  Okay.
• 14:59
  It
• 15:00
  was
• 15:00
  really
• 15:00
  fucking
• 15:01
  funny.
• 15:02
  And.
• 15:03
  No,
• 15:03
  it
• 15:03
  is
• 15:03
  hilarious.
• 15:04
  It
• 15:05
  was
• 15:05
  a
• 15:05
  good
• 15:05
  time,
• 15:05
  but
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  can
• 15:05
  see
• 15:05
  him
• 15:06
  being
• 15:06
  a
• 15:06
  little
• 15:06
  tipsy
• 15:07
  and
• 15:07
  with
• 15:07
  the
• 15:07
  right
• 15:07
  people.
• 15:08
  Yes,
• 15:08
  yes,
• 15:08
  yes.
• 15:09
  It's
• 15:09
  all.
• 15:09
  It's
• 15:09
  heightened.
• 15:10
  Yeah.
• 15:10
  I
• 15:10
  wish
• 15:11
  you
• 15:11
  were
• 15:11
  there.
• 15:11
  I
• 15:11
  wish
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  was
• 15:12
  there
• 15:12
  too.
• 15:12
  You
• 15:12
  would
• 15:12
  have
• 15:12
  loved
• 15:12
  it.
• 15:13
  I
• 15:13
  wish
• 15:13
  one.
• 15:14
  So
• 15:14
  we'll
• 15:14
  have
• 15:14
  to
• 15:14
  experience
• 15:14
  it
• 15:15
  again,
• 15:15
  right?
• 15:15
  Guess
• 15:16
  I'll
• 15:16
  just
• 15:16
  have
• 15:16
  to.
• 15:17
  Yeah.
• 15:17
  Yeah.
• 15:18
  Courtney,
• 15:19
  I'm
• 15:19
  sorry
• 15:19
  that
• 15:19
  I
• 15:20
  missed
• 15:20
  it.
• 15:20
  Her
• 15:21
  falling
• 15:21
  into
• 15:21
  the
• 15:21
  corner
• 15:22
  and
• 15:22
  farting
• 15:22
  like
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  whoopee
• 15:23
  cushion.
• 15:23
  That
• 15:23
  is
• 15:23
  hilarious.
• 15:26
  And
• 15:27
  today
• 15:27
  we
• 15:27
  have.
• 15:30
  She's
• 15:30
  so
• 15:31
  smooth
• 15:32
  parting
• 15:33
  like
• 15:33
  a
• 15:33
  whoopee
• 15:33
  cushion.
• 15:34
  Today
• 15:34
  we
• 15:34
  have
• 15:34
  a
• 15:34
  sexologist
• 15:35
  with
• 15:35
  us.
• 15:38
  Is
• 15:38
  that
• 15:38
  a
• 15:38
  smooth
• 15:39
  transition?
• 15:39
  Not
• 15:40
  at
• 15:40
  all.
• 15:40
  Oh.
• 15:43
  Today
• 15:43
  we
• 15:43
  have
• 15:43
  with
• 15:43
  us
• 15:44
  a
• 15:44
  sexologist
• 15:45
  to
• 15:45
  talk
• 15:45
  with
• 15:45
  us
• 15:46
  about
• 15:46
  sex
• 15:47
  and
• 15:47
  the
• 15:47
  benefits
• 15:48
  of
• 15:48
  having
• 15:48
  a
• 15:48
  female
• 15:49
  orgasm.
• 15:49
  Yeah.
• 15:50
  Actually,
• 15:50
  we
• 15:51
  learned
• 15:51
  a
• 15:51
  lot.
• 15:51
  She
• 15:52
  was
• 15:52
  so
• 15:52
  interesting.
• 15:53
  We
• 15:53
  did
• 15:53
  learn
• 15:53
  a
• 15:53
  lot.
• 15:54
  Yeah.
• 15:54
  If
• 15:54
  I
• 15:54
  remember
• 15:55
  correct,
• 15:55
  we
• 15:55
  learn
• 15:55
  a.
• 15:55
  Lot
• 15:55
  with
• 15:56
  everybody,
• 15:56
  but
• 15:56
  I
• 15:57
  don't
• 15:57
  know
• 15:57
  why
• 15:57
  we
• 15:57
  always
• 15:57
  act
• 15:57
  like
• 15:57
  we're
• 15:58
  surprised,
• 15:58
  but
• 15:59
  we're
• 15:59
  like,
• 15:59
  actually,
• 16:00
  it
• 16:00
  was
• 16:01
  my
• 16:01
  favorite
• 16:01
  conversation.
• 16:02
  Yeah.
• 16:02
  But
• 16:02
  it's
• 16:02
  not
• 16:03
  news
• 16:03
  anymore.
• 16:04
  But
• 16:04
  you
• 16:04
  guys
• 16:05
  will
• 16:05
  enjoy
• 16:06
  it.
• 16:06
  So.
• 16:06
  Yeah.
• 16:07
  Take
• 16:07
  a
• 16:07
  listen.
• 16:14
  Today
• 16:15
  I'm
• 16:15
  so
• 16:15
  excited
• 16:16
  to
• 16:16
  introduce
• 16:17
  to
• 16:17
  you
• 16:18
  Dr.
• 16:19
  Stephanie
• 16:19
  Bathurst.
• 16:20
  Did
• 16:20
  I
• 16:21
  say
• 16:21
  it
• 16:21
  right?
• 16:22
  You
• 16:22
  did,
• 16:22
  yes.
• 16:23
  Yes.
• 16:23
  She
• 16:24
  is
• 16:24
  a
• 16:24
  clinical
• 16:24
  sexologist
• 16:25
  and
• 16:25
  a
• 16:26
  licensed
• 16:26
  relationship
• 16:27
  therapist.
• 16:27
  We
• 16:28
  have
• 16:29
  been
• 16:29
  wanting
• 16:29
  to
• 16:29
  talk
• 16:29
  about
• 16:30
  sex
• 16:30
  and
• 16:30
  as
• 16:30
  you've
• 16:31
  seen
• 16:31
  throughout
• 16:31
  the
• 16:31
  season,
• 16:31
  we're
• 16:32
  sprinkling
• 16:32
  in
• 16:33
  just
• 16:33
  how
• 16:34
  healthy
• 16:34
  and
• 16:34
  fun
• 16:34
  it
• 16:35
  should
• 16:35
  be.
• 16:35
  So
• 16:35
  this
• 16:35
  is
• 16:35
  really
• 16:36
  exciting
• 16:36
  to
• 16:36
  hear
• 16:36
  from
• 16:37
  the
• 16:37
  professional.
• 16:38
  Stephanie,
• 16:39
  thank
• 16:39
  you
• 16:39
  so
• 16:39
  much
• 16:39
  for
• 16:40
  joining
• 16:40
  us
• 16:40
  today.
• 16:41
  I've
• 16:41
  been
• 16:41
  looking
• 16:41
  forward
• 16:41
  to
• 16:41
  this
• 16:42
  same.
• 16:42
  Thank
• 16:43
  you
• 16:43
  so
• 16:43
  much.
• 16:44
  Yeah,
• 16:45
  I'm
• 16:45
  really
• 16:45
  excited
• 16:45
  to
• 16:46
  be
• 16:46
  here.
• 16:46
  I
• 16:46
  think
• 16:46
  we're
• 16:46
  going
• 16:46
  to
• 16:46
  have
• 16:46
  some
• 16:47
  really
• 16:47
  good
• 16:47
  conversation
• 16:48
  for
• 16:48
  everybody.
• 16:48
  So
• 16:48
  I
• 16:48
  appreciate
• 16:49
  you.
• 16:49
  Oh,
• 16:50
  absolutely.
• 16:50
  Thank
• 16:51
  you.
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  think,
• 16:51
  yes.
• 16:52
  We
• 16:52
  are
• 16:52
  going
• 16:52
  to
• 16:53
  be
• 16:53
  touching
• 16:53
  on
• 16:53
  several
• 16:54
  questions
• 16:54
  that
• 16:54
  have
• 16:54
  been
• 16:55
  brought
• 16:55
  up
• 16:55
  to
• 16:55
  us
• 16:56
  through
• 16:56
  our
• 16:57
  listeners,
• 16:57
  you
• 16:57
  guys.
• 16:58
  So
• 16:58
  thank
• 16:58
  you
• 16:59
  for
• 16:59
  sitting
• 16:59
  in
• 16:59
  those
• 16:59
  questions
• 17:00
  so
• 17:00
  that
• 17:00
  we
• 17:00
  could
• 17:00
  find
• 17:01
  someone
• 17:01
  who
• 17:01
  can
• 17:01
  properly
• 17:02
  answer
• 17:02
  those
• 17:02
  for
• 17:02
  you.
• 17:03
  That's
• 17:03
  right.
• 17:04
  How.
• 17:05
  Tell
• 17:05
  us
• 17:05
  a
• 17:05
  little
• 17:05
  bit
• 17:06
  about
• 17:06
  yourself
• 17:06
  and
• 17:06
  how
• 17:06
  you
• 17:07
  got
• 17:07
  into
• 17:07
  the
• 17:07
  profession
• 17:08
  of
• 17:08
  what
• 17:09
  got
• 17:09
  you
• 17:09
  interested
• 17:10
  in
• 17:10
  sexology.
• 17:10
  I
• 17:11
  feel
• 17:11
  like
• 17:11
  that's
• 17:11
  not
• 17:12
  super
• 17:12
  common.
• 17:13
  Yeah.
• 17:13
  So
• 17:13
  I,
• 17:14
  I'm
• 17:14
  lucky
• 17:14
  enough
• 17:14
  to
• 17:14
  know
• 17:15
  that
• 17:15
  I
• 17:15
  was
• 17:15
  always,
• 17:16
  I
• 17:16
  always
• 17:16
  wanted
• 17:17
  to
• 17:17
  work
• 17:17
  with
• 17:17
  people,
• 17:18
  like
• 17:18
  helping
• 17:18
  people.
• 17:19
  And
• 17:19
  so
• 17:20
  I
• 17:20
  knew
• 17:21
  that
• 17:21
  I
• 17:21
  wanted
• 17:21
  to
• 17:21
  be
• 17:21
  a
• 17:22
  clinician,
• 17:22
  a
• 17:22
  therapist
• 17:23
  for
• 17:23
  a
• 17:23
  really
• 17:23
  long
• 17:24
  time.
• 17:24
  I
• 17:24
  think
• 17:25
  the
• 17:25
  more
• 17:25
  schooling
• 17:26
  I
• 17:26
  went
• 17:26
  through,
• 17:26
  the
• 17:27
  more
• 17:27
  refined
• 17:27
  my
• 17:28
  niche
• 17:28
  became.
• 17:29
  And
• 17:29
  naturally,
• 17:30
  as
• 17:30
  I
• 17:30
  like
• 17:31
  really
• 17:31
  became
• 17:32
  an
• 17:32
  expert
• 17:32
  and
• 17:32
  specialized
• 17:33
  in
• 17:34
  romantic
• 17:34
  relationships,
• 17:35
  I
• 17:36
  felt
• 17:36
  like
• 17:36
  there
• 17:36
  was
• 17:36
  a
• 17:37
  huge
• 17:37
  gap
• 17:38
  in
• 17:39
  like
• 17:39
  treatment
• 17:40
  or
• 17:40
  just
• 17:40
  education
• 17:41
  within
• 17:42
  the
• 17:42
  relationship
• 17:43
  therapy
• 17:44
  field.
• 17:44
  You
• 17:45
  can't
• 17:45
  really
• 17:45
  do
• 17:45
  it
• 17:45
  holistically
• 17:46
  without
• 17:46
  attending
• 17:47
  to
• 17:47
  sexual
• 17:48
  intimacy
• 17:48
  and
• 17:48
  physical
• 17:49
  touch.
• 17:51
  So
• 17:51
  as
• 17:51
  I
• 17:51
  kind
• 17:52
  of
• 17:52
  continued
• 17:52
  forward,
• 17:53
  I
• 17:53
  got
• 17:53
  more
• 17:54
  training
• 17:54
  in
• 17:54
  that.
• 17:55
  And
• 17:56
  so
• 17:56
  right
• 17:56
  now
• 17:56
  I'm
• 17:57
  in
• 17:57
  Hawaii.
• 17:57
  I
• 17:57
  used
• 17:57
  to
• 17:58
  have
• 17:58
  my
• 17:59
  practice
• 17:59
  based
• 17:59
  in
• 18:00
  Maryland,
• 18:01
  like
• 18:01
  in
• 18:01
  the
• 18:01
  D.C.
• 18:02
  area.
• 18:02
  Ish.
• 18:04
  And
• 18:04
  I
• 18:04
  started
• 18:04
  becoming
• 18:05
  pretty
• 18:07
  well
• 18:07
  known
• 18:08
  in
• 18:08
  that
• 18:08
  region
• 18:09
  for
• 18:11
  just
• 18:11
  being
• 18:11
  a
• 18:11
  sex
• 18:11
  positive
• 18:12
  therapist.
• 18:12
  So
• 18:13
  a
• 18:13
  lot
• 18:13
  of
• 18:13
  like
• 18:13
  the
• 18:13
  polyamorous
• 18:14
  and
• 18:14
  kink
• 18:15
  communities
• 18:15
  in
• 18:16
  that
• 18:16
  area
• 18:17
  because
• 18:17
  they,
• 18:18
  there
• 18:19
  are
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  lot
• 18:19
  of
• 18:19
  barriers
• 18:20
  to
• 18:20
  them
• 18:20
  finding
• 18:21
  the
• 18:21
  right
• 18:21
  fit
• 18:21
  providers
• 18:22
  who
• 18:22
  are
• 18:22
  able
• 18:23
  to
• 18:23
  support
• 18:23
  them
• 18:24
  in
• 18:24
  the
• 18:24
  unique
• 18:25
  or
• 18:25
  circle
• 18:25
  dynamic.
• 18:26
  They
• 18:26
  kind
• 18:26
  of
• 18:26
  started
• 18:26
  to
• 18:27
  gravitate
• 18:27
  to
• 18:27
  me
• 18:28
  and
• 18:28
  that's
• 18:28
  when
• 18:29
  I
• 18:29
  decided
• 18:29
  to
• 18:29
  get
• 18:29
  my
• 18:30
  PhD
• 18:30
  in
• 18:30
  clinical
• 18:31
  sexology.
• 18:31
  So
• 18:32
  that
• 18:32
  was
• 18:32
  the
• 18:32
  metamorphosis.
• 18:34
  Yeah.
• 18:34
  Wow.
• 18:34
  Okay.
• 18:35
  Why
• 18:35
  do
• 18:35
  you
• 18:35
  think
• 18:36
  people
• 18:36
  of
• 18:37
  the.
• 18:37
  These
• 18:37
  different
• 18:37
  types
• 18:38
  of
• 18:38
  relationships
• 18:39
  were
• 18:39
  drawn
• 18:39
  to
• 18:39
  you
• 18:41
  are
• 18:41
  like,
• 18:42
  are
• 18:42
  you
• 18:42
  a
• 18:43
  part
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  that
• 18:43
  community
• 18:43
  yourself
• 18:44
  or.
• 18:45
  That
• 18:46
  may
• 18:46
  not
• 18:46
  be
• 18:46
  an
• 18:46
  appropriate
• 18:47
  question.
• 18:47
  You
• 18:47
  don't
• 18:48
  have
• 18:48
  to
• 18:48
  answer.
• 18:48
  I
• 18:49
  was
• 18:49
  thinking
• 18:49
  maybe
• 18:50
  you're
• 18:50
  just
• 18:50
  open
• 18:50
  to
• 18:51
  working
• 18:51
  with
• 18:51
  them.
• 18:53
  Yeah,
• 18:54
  I'm
• 18:54
  definitely,
• 18:54
  I
• 18:55
  think
• 18:55
  philosophically
• 18:56
  I
• 18:56
  believe
• 18:58
  that
• 18:58
  people
• 18:58
  are
• 18:58
  capable
• 18:59
  of
• 19:00
  many
• 19:00
  loves
• 19:01
  in
• 19:01
  def.
• 19:01
  In
• 19:01
  different
• 19:02
  ways.
• 19:02
  Your
• 19:02
  connection
• 19:03
  and
• 19:03
  attachment
• 19:04
  from
• 19:04
  one
• 19:05
  person
• 19:05
  to
• 19:05
  the
• 19:05
  next
• 19:05
  is
• 19:06
  entirely
• 19:06
  unique
• 19:07
  and
• 19:07
  it's
• 19:07
  not
• 19:08
  one
• 19:08
  sum.
• 19:10
  And
• 19:10
  so
• 19:10
  I
• 19:10
  think
• 19:11
  philosophically
• 19:11
  I
• 19:11
  align
• 19:12
  more
• 19:13
  with
• 19:14
  like
• 19:15
  the,
• 19:15
  the
• 19:16
  potential
• 19:17
  health
• 19:17
  and
• 19:18
  success
• 19:18
  of
• 19:19
  not,
• 19:19
  you
• 19:19
  know,
• 19:20
  ethically
• 19:20
  non
• 19:20
  monogamous
• 19:21
  relationships
• 19:22
  or
• 19:22
  non
• 19:22
  traditional
• 19:23
  styles.
• 19:24
  And
• 19:24
  I
• 19:24
  tend
• 19:24
  to
• 19:24
  be
• 19:24
  much
• 19:25
  more
• 19:25
  sex
• 19:25
  positive
• 19:26
  just
• 19:26
  in
• 19:26
  general.
• 19:28
  So
• 19:28
  I
• 19:28
  think
• 19:28
  just
• 19:29
  all
• 19:29
  of
• 19:29
  those
• 19:29
  components
• 19:30
  of
• 19:30
  who
• 19:31
  I
• 19:31
  am
• 19:31
  as
• 19:31
  a
• 19:32
  person
• 19:32
  and
• 19:32
  therefore
• 19:33
  as
• 19:33
  a
• 19:33
  provider
• 19:33
  made
• 19:34
  people
• 19:34
  feel
• 19:34
  more
• 19:34
  comfortable
• 19:35
  opening
• 19:35
  up.
• 19:35
  And
• 19:36
  then
• 19:36
  as
• 19:36
  they
• 19:37
  had
• 19:37
  good
• 19:37
  experiences,
• 19:38
  they
• 19:38
  referred
• 19:38
  to
• 19:38
  their
• 19:39
  communities
• 19:39
  and
• 19:40
  it
• 19:40
  kind
• 19:40
  of
• 19:40
  expanded
• 19:41
  outward.
• 19:41
  Sure,
• 19:42
  yeah.
• 19:43
  Now
• 19:43
  I
• 19:43
  definitely
• 19:43
  want
• 19:44
  to
• 19:44
  get
• 19:44
  into
• 19:44
  questions
• 19:45
  about.
• 19:46
  So
• 19:46
  one
• 19:46
  of
• 19:46
  our
• 19:47
  specific
• 19:47
  questions
• 19:48
  is
• 19:48
  around
• 19:48
  E
• 19:49
  M
• 19:49
  relationships,
• 19:50
  but
• 19:50
  I
• 19:50
  also
• 19:50
  wanted
• 19:51
  to
• 19:51
  ask
• 19:52
  how
• 19:52
  were
• 19:53
  you,
• 19:53
  were
• 19:53
  you
• 19:54
  raised
• 19:54
  in
• 19:55
  a
• 19:55
  home,
• 19:55
  like
• 19:56
  where
• 19:56
  it
• 19:56
  was
• 19:57
  okay
• 19:57
  to
• 19:57
  talk
• 19:57
  about
• 19:58
  sex?
• 19:59
  To
• 19:59
  where
• 19:59
  it
• 19:59
  just
• 20:00
  helped
• 20:01
  you
• 20:01
  feel
• 20:01
  unable
• 20:02
  to
• 20:02
  explore
• 20:03
  this
• 20:03
  as
• 20:03
  a
• 20:03
  profession?
• 20:04
  Or
• 20:05
  was
• 20:05
  that
• 20:05
  something
• 20:05
  that
• 20:06
  you
• 20:06
  had
• 20:06
  to
• 20:08
  just
• 20:08
  kind
• 20:09
  of
• 20:09
  branch
• 20:09
  out
• 20:09
  on
• 20:09
  your
• 20:09
  own
• 20:10
  to
• 20:10
  explore?
• 20:10
  Yeah.
• 20:11
  Or
• 20:11
  maybe
• 20:12
  you're
• 20:12
  like,
• 20:12
  oh,
• 20:12
  I
• 20:13
  never
• 20:13
  understood
• 20:13
  the
• 20:13
  taboo
• 20:14
  about
• 20:14
  it.
• 20:14
  Yeah,
• 20:16
  yeah,
• 20:16
  I,
• 20:17
  I
• 20:17
  definitely
• 20:18
  grew
• 20:18
  up
• 20:18
  in
• 20:18
  a
• 20:18
  home.
• 20:21
  Not
• 20:21
  that
• 20:21
  there
• 20:21
  was
• 20:22
  any
• 20:22
  shame,
• 20:23
  like
• 20:23
  overt
• 20:24
  shame
• 20:25
  inherent
• 20:25
  in
• 20:26
  any
• 20:26
  of
• 20:26
  our
• 20:26
  like,
• 20:27
  rituals
• 20:27
  or
• 20:27
  conversations,
• 20:28
  but
• 20:28
  it
• 20:29
  just
• 20:29
  wasn't
• 20:29
  discussed.
• 20:30
  It
• 20:30
  wasn't
• 20:30
  an
• 20:30
  open,
• 20:31
  comfortable
• 20:32
  topic
• 20:32
  of
• 20:32
  discussion.
• 20:33
  And
• 20:34
  so
• 20:35
  when
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  was
• 20:36
  young,
• 20:36
  a
• 20:37
  lot
• 20:37
  of
• 20:37
  my,
• 20:38
  my
• 20:39
  awareness,
• 20:39
  my
• 20:40
  insight
• 20:40
  came
• 20:41
  from
• 20:41
  personal
• 20:41
  research
• 20:42
  because
• 20:42
  I
• 20:43
  had
• 20:43
  questions,
• 20:43
  but
• 20:44
  I
• 20:44
  didn't
• 20:44
  feel
• 20:44
  super
• 20:45
  comfortable
• 20:45
  opening
• 20:45
  up
• 20:46
  and
• 20:46
  asking
• 20:46
  the
• 20:46
  people
• 20:47
  immediate
• 20:48
  like
• 20:48
  field.
• 20:49
  And
• 20:50
  so,
• 20:50
  yeah,
• 20:51
  I
• 20:51
  think,
• 20:52
  I
• 20:52
  think
• 20:52
  that's
• 20:53
  been
• 20:53
  really
• 20:53
  valuable
• 20:53
  for
• 20:54
  me,
• 20:54
  like
• 20:54
  as
• 20:54
  I
• 20:55
  move,
• 20:55
  as
• 20:55
  I
• 20:55
  moved
• 20:56
  forward
• 20:56
  into
• 20:56
  the
• 20:56
  professional
• 20:57
  realm
• 20:58
  to
• 20:58
  make
• 20:58
  sure
• 20:58
  that
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  held
• 20:59
  space
• 20:59
  and
• 21:00
  I
• 21:00
  normalized
• 21:01
  conversations
• 21:02
  and
• 21:02
  words
• 21:03
  about
• 21:03
  sex
• 21:04
  and
• 21:04
  physical
• 21:04
  affection
• 21:05
  and
• 21:05
  touch.
• 21:06
  So
• 21:06
  at
• 21:06
  the
• 21:06
  very
• 21:07
  least,
• 21:07
  like
• 21:07
  we
• 21:07
  as
• 21:08
  a,
• 21:08
  as
• 21:08
  a
• 21:08
  public
• 21:09
  can
• 21:09
  be
• 21:09
  a
• 21:10
  little
• 21:10
  more
• 21:10
  comfortable
• 21:10
  with
• 21:11
  it.
• 21:11
  These
• 21:11
  should
• 21:11
  be
• 21:12
  open
• 21:12
  conversation.
• 21:13
  Yeah.
• 21:15
  Do
• 21:15
  you
• 21:15
  have
• 21:16
  like
• 21:17
  a
• 21:17
  help
• 21:17
  sheet
• 21:17
  that
• 21:18
  you've
• 21:18
  helped
• 21:18
  parents
• 21:19
  discuss
• 21:19
  this?
• 21:20
  Because
• 21:20
  that's
• 21:20
  a
• 21:20
  very
• 21:21
  awkward
• 21:21
  conversation
• 21:22
  to
• 21:22
  have
• 21:22
  with
• 21:23
  your
• 21:23
  kids
• 21:23
  and
• 21:23
  to
• 21:24
  know
• 21:24
  when
• 21:24
  and
• 21:24
  how.
• 21:25
  And.
• 21:28
  Yeah,
• 21:28
  my
• 21:29
  specialty
• 21:29
  is
• 21:29
  more
• 21:30
  with
• 21:30
  adults.
• 21:31
  I
• 21:31
  did
• 21:31
  specialize
• 21:32
  with
• 21:32
  young
• 21:32
  kids
• 21:33
  when
• 21:33
  I
• 21:33
  was
• 21:34
  really
• 21:34
  early
• 21:34
  in
• 21:35
  my
• 21:35
  field.
• 21:35
  I
• 21:36
  used
• 21:36
  to
• 21:36
  actually
• 21:36
  be
• 21:37
  a
• 21:37
  specialist
• 21:37
  for
• 21:38
  young
• 21:39
  children
• 21:39
  with
• 21:39
  advanced
• 21:40
  sexual,
• 21:41
  like
• 21:41
  Trauma
• 21:41
  within
• 21:42
  their
• 21:42
  families,
• 21:42
  this
• 21:43
  time
• 21:43
  in
• 21:43
  the
• 21:43
  residential
• 21:44
  facilities.
• 21:45
  And
• 21:45
  so
• 21:46
  that's
• 21:46
  really
• 21:46
  important
• 21:47
  work.
• 21:48
  Yeah,
• 21:49
  but
• 21:49
  I
• 21:49
  burned
• 21:49
  out
• 21:50
  in
• 21:50
  like
• 21:50
  two
• 21:50
  years.
• 21:51
  I
• 21:51
  was
• 21:51
  just
• 21:51
  emotional.
• 21:52
  Right.
• 21:54
  Yeah,
• 21:55
  A
• 21:55
  lot
• 21:55
  to
• 21:55
  have
• 21:55
  to
• 21:55
  take
• 21:56
  on
• 21:56
  every
• 21:56
  night
• 21:56
  or
• 21:56
  every
• 21:57
  day.
• 21:58
  It
• 21:58
  is.
• 21:58
  Or
• 21:59
  try
• 21:59
  to
• 21:59
  even
• 21:59
  brush
• 22:00
  off
• 22:00
  at
• 22:00
  the
• 22:00
  end
• 22:00
  of
• 22:00
  the
• 22:00
  day
• 22:00
  and.
• 22:01
  Oh,
• 22:01
  yeah,
• 22:01
  I
• 22:01
  would
• 22:01
  feel
• 22:02
  like,
• 22:02
  maybe
• 22:02
  even
• 22:03
  feel
• 22:03
  guilty
• 22:03
  trying
• 22:04
  not
• 22:04
  to
• 22:04
  think
• 22:04
  about
• 22:04
  it
• 22:05
  at
• 22:05
  night.
• 22:05
  Like,
• 22:05
  we're
• 22:06
  fine.
• 22:06
  There's
• 22:06
  so
• 22:07
  many
• 22:07
  facets
• 22:07
  of.
• 22:09
  Yeah,
• 22:10
  yeah.
• 22:10
  Yourself
• 22:12
  for
• 22:12
  sure.
• 22:12
  For
• 22:13
  me,
• 22:13
  it
• 22:13
  was
• 22:13
  like
• 22:14
  I
• 22:14
  started
• 22:14
  to
• 22:15
  feel
• 22:15
  my,
• 22:16
  like,
• 22:16
  positivity
• 22:17
  and
• 22:17
  hopefulness
• 22:18
  as
• 22:19
  like,
• 22:19
  like
• 22:19
  for
• 22:19
  the
• 22:20
  public,
• 22:20
  for
• 22:20
  our
• 22:21
  future
• 22:21
  as
• 22:21
  a
• 22:21
  society
• 22:22
  start
• 22:22
  to
• 22:22
  wane
• 22:23
  with.
• 22:23
  With
• 22:24
  how
• 22:24
  much,
• 22:24
  like,
• 22:25
  darkness.
• 22:26
  Yeah.
• 22:26
  And
• 22:27
  you
• 22:27
  know
• 22:27
  how
• 22:27
  they
• 22:27
  always
• 22:27
  say,
• 22:28
  like,
• 22:28
  truth
• 22:28
  is
• 22:28
  always
• 22:29
  stranger,
• 22:30
  more
• 22:30
  like
• 22:31
  severe
• 22:32
  than
• 22:32
  fiction.
• 22:32
  And
• 22:32
  that
• 22:33
  certainly
• 22:33
  is
• 22:34
  the
• 22:34
  truth
• 22:34
  as
• 22:34
  you,
• 22:34
  like,
• 22:35
  go
• 22:35
  through
• 22:35
  some
• 22:35
  of
• 22:35
  these
• 22:35
  police
• 22:36
  reports
• 22:36
  and
• 22:37
  treatment
• 22:38
  plans
• 22:38
  and
• 22:39
  the,
• 22:39
  you
• 22:39
  know,
• 22:40
  just
• 22:40
  heavy,
• 22:40
  heavy.
• 22:41
  And
• 22:41
  so.
• 22:43
  Yeah,
• 22:43
  that.
• 22:44
  But
• 22:44
  there's
• 22:45
  so
• 22:45
  much
• 22:45
  need
• 22:46
  there.
• 22:46
  So
• 22:46
  I've.
• 22:46
  I've
• 22:47
  definitely
• 22:47
  mediated
• 22:48
  conversations
• 22:48
  with
• 22:49
  like,
• 22:49
  adult
• 22:49
  clients
• 22:50
  of
• 22:50
  mine
• 22:50
  and
• 22:51
  their
• 22:51
  adolescent
• 22:52
  kids
• 22:52
  as
• 22:53
  they
• 22:53
  struggle
• 22:54
  to
• 22:54
  have
• 22:54
  like,
• 22:54
  the
• 22:54
  sex
• 22:55
  talk
• 22:55
  or
• 22:55
  to
• 22:55
  be
• 22:56
  open
• 22:56
  and,
• 22:57
  and
• 22:57
  supportive
• 22:58
  of
• 22:58
  coming
• 22:59
  out.
• 23:00
  You
• 23:00
  know
• 23:00
  what
• 23:00
  I
• 23:00
  mean?
• 23:00
  Just
• 23:01
  kind
• 23:01
  of
• 23:01
  like
• 23:02
  the
• 23:02
  identity
• 23:03
  discovery
• 23:03
  process
• 23:04
  that
• 23:04
  kids
• 23:05
  go
• 23:05
  through
• 23:05
  and
• 23:05
  helping
• 23:06
  their
• 23:06
  parents
• 23:06
  support
• 23:07
  them
• 23:07
  through
• 23:07
  that.
• 23:08
  Oh,
• 23:08
  that's
• 23:08
  nice.
• 23:09
  Which
• 23:09
  is
• 23:09
  helpful
• 23:10
  in
• 23:10
  its
• 23:10
  own
• 23:10
  way.
• 23:11
  We
• 23:11
  had
• 23:11
  a
• 23:12
  guest
• 23:12
  on
• 23:12
  that,
• 23:13
  talked
• 23:13
  about
• 23:13
  her
• 23:13
  experience
• 23:15
  of
• 23:15
  what
• 23:16
  it
• 23:16
  was
• 23:16
  like
• 23:16
  for
• 23:16
  her
• 23:17
  daughter
• 23:17
  to
• 23:17
  come
• 23:17
  out
• 23:18
  and
• 23:18
  be
• 23:18
  okay
• 23:19
  with
• 23:19
  telling
• 23:19
  her
• 23:20
  who.
• 23:20
  Who
• 23:20
  she
• 23:20
  is.
• 23:21
  Yeah.
• 23:22
  Okay.
• 23:22
  So
• 23:23
  you
• 23:23
  talked
• 23:24
  about
• 23:24
  the
• 23:24
  different
• 23:24
  communities
• 23:25
  that
• 23:25
  feel
• 23:26
  safe
• 23:26
  and
• 23:26
  comfortable
• 23:27
  coming
• 23:27
  to
• 23:27
  you
• 23:27
  to
• 23:28
  talk
• 23:28
  about
• 23:28
  their
• 23:28
  different
• 23:29
  types
• 23:29
  of
• 23:29
  relationships
• 23:30
  and
• 23:30
  how,
• 23:30
  if
• 23:31
  I
• 23:31
  heard
• 23:31
  you
• 23:31
  correctly,
• 23:32
  that
• 23:32
  philosophically
• 23:33
  you
• 23:33
  do
• 23:33
  believe
• 23:34
  that
• 23:34
  there
• 23:34
  is
• 23:35
  more
• 23:35
  than
• 23:35
  one
• 23:35
  love
• 23:36
  for
• 23:36
  each
• 23:36
  person.
• 23:37
  So
• 23:38
  I
• 23:38
  want
• 23:38
  to
• 23:38
  touch
• 23:38
  on
• 23:39
  that
• 23:39
  and,
• 23:39
  and
• 23:40
  talk
• 23:40
  about
• 23:40
  these
• 23:40
  different
• 23:40
  types
• 23:41
  of
• 23:41
  relationships
• 23:42
  that
• 23:42
  honestly,
• 23:42
  I
• 23:42
  don't
• 23:43
  think
• 23:43
  a
• 23:43
  lot
• 23:43
  of
• 23:43
  people
• 23:43
  even
• 23:44
  know
• 23:44
  exist.
• 23:44
  I
• 23:45
  know.
• 23:45
  I
• 23:45
  recently
• 23:46
  just
• 23:46
  learned
• 23:46
  about
• 23:47
  em.
• 23:49
  Yeah.
• 23:49
  I
• 23:49
  think
• 23:50
  also
• 23:50
  a
• 23:50
  lot
• 23:50
  of
• 23:50
  people,
• 23:50
  even
• 23:51
  if
• 23:51
  they
• 23:51
  know
• 23:51
  they
• 23:51
  exist,
• 23:52
  maybe
• 23:53
  weird,
• 23:53
  are
• 23:54
  told.
• 23:54
  Like
• 23:54
  they
• 23:54
  try
• 23:55
  not
• 23:55
  to
• 23:55
  even
• 23:55
  think
• 23:55
  about
• 23:55
  it.
• 23:56
  Maybe
• 23:56
  they
• 23:56
  don't
• 23:56
  even
• 23:57
  think
• 23:57
  about
• 23:57
  it
• 23:57
  because
• 23:57
  it
• 23:57
  just
• 23:58
  doesn't
• 23:58
  seem.
• 23:58
  Yeah,
• 23:59
  I've
• 23:59
  always
• 23:59
  heard
• 24:00
  of
• 24:00
  it
• 24:00
  as
• 24:00
  like
• 24:00
  a
• 24:00
  negative.
• 24:03
  Yeah,
• 24:03
  we
• 24:03
  don't
• 24:03
  talk
• 24:03
  about
• 24:04
  it
• 24:04
  in
• 24:04
  society
• 24:05
  much.
• 24:06
  We
• 24:06
  don't,
• 24:07
  but
• 24:07
  it's
• 24:07
  very
• 24:07
  common.
• 24:08
  We
• 24:08
  look
• 24:08
  at
• 24:08
  the
• 24:09
  research
• 24:09
  and
• 24:10
  by
• 24:10
  report.
• 24:10
  So
• 24:11
  we
• 24:11
  know
• 24:11
  that
• 24:11
  this
• 24:11
  is
• 24:11
  drastically
• 24:12
  under
• 24:12
  reported
• 24:13
  because
• 24:14
  it's
• 24:14
  a
• 24:14
  known
• 24:14
  taboo.
• 24:15
  By
• 24:15
  report,
• 24:15
  1
• 24:16
  in
• 24:16
  5,
• 24:17
  like,
• 24:17
  of
• 24:18
  all
• 24:18
  relationships
• 24:19
  in
• 24:19
  the
• 24:19
  U.S.
• 24:19
  1
• 24:19
  in
• 24:20
  5
• 24:20
  will
• 24:20
  experience
• 24:21
  some
• 24:21
  type
• 24:21
  of
• 24:22
  EM
• 24:23
  within
• 24:23
  the
• 24:23
  lifespan
• 24:24
  of
• 24:24
  their
• 24:24
  Relationship.
• 24:26
  And
• 24:27
  that's
• 24:27
  like
• 24:27
  a
• 24:27
  significant
• 24:28
  number.
• 24:29
  And
• 24:29
  we
• 24:29
  know
• 24:29
  it's
• 24:30
  probably
• 24:30
  more
• 24:30
  like
• 24:30
  1
• 24:30
  in
• 24:31
  3
• 24:31
  because
• 24:31
  of
• 24:31
  the
• 24:32
  under
• 24:32
  report.
• 24:33
  Yeah.
• 24:33
  So
• 24:33
  it's
• 24:34
  very
• 24:34
  common.
• 24:35
  Very,
• 24:35
  very
• 24:36
  common.
• 24:37
  We
• 24:37
  just
• 24:37
  don't
• 24:38
  talk
• 24:38
  about
• 24:38
  it.
• 24:38
  Right.
• 24:38
  It's
• 24:39
  kind
• 24:39
  of
• 24:39
  like.
• 24:40
  And
• 24:40
  I
• 24:40
  have
• 24:41
  a
• 24:41
  young
• 24:41
  daughter,
• 24:41
  so
• 24:41
  I
• 24:41
  kind
• 24:42
  of
• 24:42
  experienced
• 24:42
  this
• 24:42
  firsthand.
• 24:43
  But
• 24:43
  it's
• 24:43
  kind
• 24:43
  of
• 24:43
  like
• 24:44
  the
• 24:44
  discussions
• 24:45
  about
• 24:45
  miscarriage.
• 24:46
  It's
• 24:47
  not
• 24:47
  at
• 24:47
  all.
• 24:48
  It's
• 24:48
  very
• 24:48
  common,
• 24:49
  it's
• 24:49
  very
• 24:49
  known.
• 24:50
  It's
• 24:50
  very
• 24:50
  impactful
• 24:51
  to
• 24:52
  like
• 24:52
  you
• 24:52
  and
• 24:52
  your
• 24:53
  relationship
• 24:53
  and
• 24:54
  your
• 24:54
  life.
• 24:55
  But
• 24:55
  nobody
• 24:56
  really
• 24:56
  talks
• 24:56
  about
• 24:56
  it
• 24:57
  openly.
• 24:57
  And
• 24:57
  that's
• 24:57
  a
• 24:58
  disservice
• 24:58
  to
• 24:58
  us
• 24:59
  certainly.
• 25:00
  Yeah,
• 25:00
  yeah.
• 25:01
  So
• 25:01
  what
• 25:01
  is
• 25:02
  there
• 25:02
  that
• 25:02
  people
• 25:02
  need.
• 25:03
  To
• 25:03
  know
• 25:03
  for
• 25:04
  enm.
• 25:05
  Yeah.
• 25:05
  Like
• 25:05
  what?
• 25:06
  We
• 25:07
  don't
• 25:07
  talk
• 25:07
  about
• 25:07
  it
• 25:07
  enough.
• 25:08
  So
• 25:08
  like
• 25:08
  what
• 25:09
  do.
• 25:10
  What
• 25:10
  does
• 25:10
  the
• 25:10
  community
• 25:11
  need
• 25:11
  to
• 25:11
  know
• 25:12
  to.
• 25:13
  Yeah,
• 25:13
  I
• 25:13
  mean
• 25:14
  I'm
• 25:14
  also
• 25:14
  like.
• 25:15
  So
• 25:15
  people
• 25:15
  who
• 25:16
  don't
• 25:16
  know
• 25:16
  anything
• 25:16
  about
• 25:17
  it.
• 25:17
  How
• 25:17
  would
• 25:18
  you
• 25:18
  explain
• 25:18
  it?
• 25:18
  I'm
• 25:18
  wondering.
• 25:19
  So
• 25:19
  it's
• 25:20
  an
• 25:20
  ethical
• 25:20
  non
• 25:20
  monogamous
• 25:21
  relationship.
• 25:22
  What's
• 25:22
  the
• 25:23
  ethical
• 25:23
  part?
• 25:23
  How
• 25:23
  do
• 25:24
  you
• 25:24
  keep
• 25:24
  it
• 25:24
  ethical?
• 25:25
  Because
• 25:25
  I
• 25:25
  think
• 25:25
  a
• 25:26
  lot
• 25:26
  of
• 25:26
  people
• 25:26
  have
• 25:26
  a
• 25:26
  hard
• 25:27
  time
• 25:27
  with
• 25:27
  that
• 25:28
  thinking,
• 25:28
  like
• 25:29
  it's
• 25:29
  just
• 25:29
  going
• 25:30
  to
• 25:30
  get
• 25:30
  messy.
• 25:31
  Yeah,
• 25:32
  yeah,
• 25:33
  Perfect
• 25:33
  question.
• 25:34
  So
• 25:34
  it's
• 25:34
  all
• 25:34
  about
• 25:35
  openness,
• 25:36
  transparency
• 25:37
  and
• 25:37
  contracting.
• 25:38
  Right.
• 25:38
  There
• 25:38
  has
• 25:39
  to
• 25:39
  be
• 25:39
  very
• 25:40
  explicit,
• 25:41
  overt
• 25:41
  negotiations
• 25:42
  between
• 25:43
  all
• 25:43
  partners.
• 25:44
  Otherwise
• 25:45
  there
• 25:46
  is
• 25:46
  the
• 25:46
  pro.
• 25:46
  The
• 25:46
  possibility
• 25:47
  of,
• 25:49
  you
• 25:49
  know,
• 25:49
  secondary,
• 25:50
  tertiary
• 25:51
  outside
• 25:51
  relationship
• 25:52
  being
• 25:52
  experienced
• 25:53
  and
• 25:53
  processed
• 25:54
  as
• 25:54
  an
• 25:54
  active
• 25:55
  infidelity.
• 25:56
  Just
• 25:56
  because
• 25:56
  you're
• 25:57
  in
• 25:57
  an
• 25:57
  ethically
• 25:57
  non
• 25:58
  monogamous
• 25:58
  relationship,
• 26:00
  you
• 26:00
  can
• 26:00
  still
• 26:00
  experience
• 26:01
  jealousy,
• 26:02
  envy,
• 26:04
  feelings
• 26:04
  of
• 26:04
  betrayal
• 26:06
  if
• 26:06
  you
• 26:06
  don't
• 26:06
  do
• 26:07
  it
• 26:07
  correctly.
• 26:07
  Right.
• 26:08
  And
• 26:08
  that's
• 26:08
  why
• 26:10
  I
• 26:10
  always
• 26:10
  say
• 26:11
  that
• 26:11
  I
• 26:11
  work
• 26:11
  with
• 26:11
  advanced
• 26:12
  systems.
• 26:12
  That's
• 26:13
  my
• 26:13
  specialty.
• 26:13
  Not
• 26:14
  necessarily
• 26:14
  like
• 26:15
  E
• 26:15
  and
• 26:15
  M
• 26:15
  in
• 26:16
  particular,
• 26:16
  but
• 26:17
  either
• 26:18
  like
• 26:18
  any
• 26:19
  kind
• 26:19
  of.
• 26:19
  And
• 26:20
  that's
• 26:20
  a
• 26:20
  huge
• 26:20
  spectrum
• 26:21
  to
• 26:21
  be
• 26:21
  like,
• 26:22
  you
• 26:22
  know,
• 26:23
  we
• 26:23
  are
• 26:23
  opening
• 26:24
  up
• 26:24
  to
• 26:24
  a
• 26:24
  third
• 26:24
  party,
• 26:25
  just
• 26:25
  staying
• 26:26
  with
• 26:26
  the
• 26:26
  primary
• 26:27
  dyad
• 26:28
  ourselves.
• 26:28
  That's
• 26:29
  like
• 26:29
  the
• 26:29
  one
• 26:29
  end
• 26:29
  of
• 26:30
  the
• 26:30
  spectrum.
• 26:30
  All
• 26:31
  the
• 26:31
  way
• 26:31
  to
• 26:31
  kitchen
• 26:32
  table
• 26:32
  poly
• 26:32
  where
• 26:33
  all
• 26:33
  partners
• 26:34
  are
• 26:34
  heavily
• 26:35
  integrated
• 26:35
  into
• 26:36
  relationships
• 26:37
  with
• 26:37
  each
• 26:38
  other.
• 26:38
  You
• 26:38
  think
• 26:39
  of
• 26:39
  like
• 26:39
  everybody
• 26:40
  sitting
• 26:40
  down
• 26:40
  at
• 26:40
  the
• 26:40
  same
• 26:41
  table
• 26:41
  for
• 26:41
  dinner
• 26:42
  together.
• 26:42
  Yeah.
• 26:43
  Lots
• 26:44
  of
• 26:44
  massive
• 26:45
  spectrum
• 26:45
  of
• 26:45
  different
• 26:46
  types
• 26:47
  of
• 26:47
  relationship
• 26:48
  lines
• 26:49
  and
• 26:49
  dynamics
• 26:50
  that
• 26:50
  exist.
• 26:51
  Whatever,
• 26:52
  whatever
• 26:53
  you
• 26:53
  choose
• 26:54
  with
• 26:54
  your
• 26:54
  partner.
• 26:54
  One,
• 26:55
  it
• 26:55
  has
• 26:55
  to
• 26:55
  be
• 26:55
  openly
• 26:56
  contracted
• 26:56
  before
• 26:57
  you
• 26:57
  take
• 26:58
  any
• 26:58
  action.
• 26:59
  So
• 26:59
  there
• 26:59
  needs
• 26:59
  to
• 27:00
  be
• 27:00
  really,
• 27:00
  really
• 27:01
  good
• 27:01
  communication
• 27:02
  skills
• 27:03
  for
• 27:03
  you
• 27:03
  to
• 27:03
  do
• 27:03
  that.
• 27:04
  And.
• 27:04
  Or
• 27:05
  have
• 27:05
  like
• 27:05
  a
• 27:05
  third
• 27:06
  party
• 27:06
  mediator
• 27:07
  who
• 27:07
  knows
• 27:07
  what
• 27:07
  they're
• 27:07
  doing
• 27:08
  to
• 27:08
  help
• 27:08
  you
• 27:08
  ask
• 27:09
  the
• 27:09
  right
• 27:09
  questions.
• 27:11
  And
• 27:12
  two,
• 27:12
  you're.
• 27:13
  We
• 27:14
  always
• 27:14
  talk
• 27:14
  about
• 27:14
  like
• 27:15
  logistics,
• 27:16
  planning.
• 27:17
  You
• 27:17
  have
• 27:17
  to
• 27:17
  be
• 27:17
  a
• 27:17
  good
• 27:18
  project
• 27:18
  manager,
• 27:19
  to
• 27:19
  be
• 27:19
  in
• 27:19
  like
• 27:20
  an
• 27:20
  advanced
• 27:20
  systems
• 27:21
  because
• 27:21
  you
• 27:22
  have
• 27:23
  so
• 27:23
  many
• 27:24
  relational
• 27:24
  responsibilities.
• 27:26
  Right.
• 27:26
  And
• 27:27
  there's
• 27:27
  a
• 27:27
  lot
• 27:28
  that
• 27:28
  you
• 27:28
  get
• 27:28
  back
• 27:29
  from
• 27:29
  that.
• 27:29
  For
• 27:29
  most
• 27:30
  people,
• 27:30
  they're
• 27:30
  like,
• 27:31
  oh,
• 27:31
  it's
• 27:31
  worth
• 27:31
  it.
• 27:31
  It
• 27:32
  is
• 27:32
  a
• 27:32
  lot
• 27:32
  of
• 27:32
  effort
• 27:32
  to
• 27:33
  talk
• 27:33
  to
• 27:34
  all
• 27:34
  of
• 27:34
  my
• 27:34
  partners
• 27:35
  and
• 27:35
  give
• 27:35
  them
• 27:36
  the
• 27:36
  energy
• 27:36
  that
• 27:36
  they
• 27:37
  deserve
• 27:37
  and
• 27:37
  need
• 27:38
  for
• 27:38
  the
• 27:38
  sustainability
• 27:39
  of
• 27:39
  this
• 27:39
  relationship.
• 27:40
  But
• 27:41
  it's
• 27:41
  just
• 27:42
  a
• 27:42
  lot
• 27:42
  more.
• 27:43
  It's
• 27:43
  on
• 27:43
  an
• 27:43
  advanced
• 27:44
  scale.
• 27:45
  And
• 27:45
  so
• 27:45
  you
• 27:45
  really
• 27:46
  need
• 27:46
  to
• 27:46
  have
• 27:46
  like
• 27:47
  good
• 27:47
  communication
• 27:48
  and
• 27:48
  good
• 27:49
  executive
• 27:49
  functioning
• 27:50
  skills
• 27:50
  to
• 27:50
  make
• 27:50
  this
• 27:51
  sustainable
• 27:51
  long
• 27:52
  term.
• 27:52
  So
• 27:53
  I
• 27:53
  guess
• 27:53
  I'm
• 27:53
  kind
• 27:53
  of
• 27:54
  curious
• 27:54
  because
• 27:55
  I've
• 27:55
  actually
• 27:55
  never
• 27:56
  dabbled
• 27:56
  in
• 27:57
  that
• 27:57
  in
• 27:57
  any
• 27:57
  kind
• 27:58
  of
• 27:58
  open
• 27:58
  relationship.
• 28:00
  I've
• 28:01
  been
• 28:01
  curious
• 28:01
  about
• 28:01
  it,
• 28:02
  but
• 28:02
  sometimes
• 28:03
  when
• 28:03
  I
• 28:03
  think
• 28:03
  about
• 28:03
  it,
• 28:04
  it's
• 28:04
  literally
• 28:04
  the
• 28:05
  thing
• 28:05
  that
• 28:05
  you
• 28:05
  just
• 28:06
  now
• 28:06
  said
• 28:06
  is
• 28:06
  there's
• 28:07
  more
• 28:07
  work.
• 28:09
  And
• 28:09
  I'm
• 28:09
  like,
• 28:09
  why?
• 28:13
  Tell
• 28:13
  me
• 28:13
  some,
• 28:13
  give
• 28:14
  me
• 28:14
  some
• 28:14
  reasons.
• 28:14
  Like
• 28:14
  why
• 28:15
  is
• 28:15
  this
• 28:15
  something
• 28:15
  that
• 28:16
  people
• 28:16
  should
• 28:16
  look
• 28:16
  at
• 28:17
  or
• 28:17
  look
• 28:17
  into?
• 28:18
  Yeah.
• 28:18
  When,
• 28:19
  when
• 28:19
  would
• 28:19
  a
• 28:19
  couple
• 28:20
  think,
• 28:20
  oh,
• 28:20
  maybe
• 28:21
  that's
• 28:21
  for
• 28:21
  us.
• 28:22
  Right.
• 28:22
  Yeah.
• 28:23
  So
• 28:23
  we're
• 28:23
  all,
• 28:24
  we're
• 28:24
  all
• 28:24
  unique
• 28:25
  and
• 28:25
  different
• 28:25
  in
• 28:26
  the
• 28:27
  priorities
• 28:27
  of
• 28:28
  values,
• 28:29
  of
• 28:30
  intimacy
• 28:31
  forms.
• 28:31
  So
• 28:32
  if
• 28:32
  we
• 28:32
  have,
• 28:33
  if
• 28:33
  we're
• 28:33
  in
• 28:34
  a
• 28:34
  committed
• 28:34
  partnership
• 28:35
  with
• 28:35
  somebody
• 28:36
  who
• 28:36
  is
• 28:37
  usually
• 28:37
  like
• 28:37
  different
• 28:38
  from
• 28:38
  us.
• 28:38
  Right.
• 28:38
  Those
• 28:39
  prioritizations,
• 28:40
  those
• 28:40
  scales
• 28:41
  differ
• 28:41
  from
• 28:41
  one
• 28:41
  person
• 28:42
  to
• 28:42
  the
• 28:42
  next.
• 28:43
  Yep.
• 28:44
  And
• 28:44
  you
• 28:44
  love
• 28:44
  and
• 28:45
  you're
• 28:45
  committed
• 28:45
  to
• 28:45
  this
• 28:46
  person.
• 28:46
  And
• 28:46
  also
• 28:48
  you
• 28:48
  have
• 28:48
  this
• 28:48
  one
• 28:49
  particular
• 28:49
  or
• 28:50
  many
• 28:50
  particular
• 28:50
  areas
• 28:51
  that
• 28:51
  are
• 28:51
  not,
• 28:52
  are
• 28:52
  not
• 28:52
  fully
• 28:53
  fulfilled.
• 28:53
  And
• 28:54
  I
• 28:54
  love
• 28:55
  that
• 28:55
  you
• 28:55
  said
• 28:55
  and
• 28:55
  also
• 28:56
  and
• 28:56
  not.
• 28:56
  But
• 28:57
  because
• 28:59
  that,
• 28:59
  yeah,
• 29:00
  that
• 29:00
  just
• 29:00
  kind
• 29:00
  of
• 29:00
  right
• 29:01
  there,
• 29:01
  that's
• 29:01
  everything
• 29:02
  to
• 29:02
  me.
• 29:02
  Like
• 29:03
  you
• 29:03
  want
• 29:03
  to
• 29:03
  keep
• 29:03
  the
• 29:04
  relationship
• 29:04
  you
• 29:04
  have
• 29:05
  and
• 29:06
  you
• 29:07
  need
• 29:07
  more.
• 29:08
  Exactly.
• 29:09
  It
• 29:09
  is,
• 29:09
  it
• 29:09
  is
• 29:10
  an
• 29:10
  and.
• 29:10
  Right.
• 29:10
  You're
• 29:11
  not,
• 29:11
  you're
• 29:11
  not
• 29:11
  like
• 29:11
  saying,
• 29:12
  okay,
• 29:12
  well
• 29:12
  I
• 29:12
  guess
• 29:12
  I'll
• 29:13
  say
• 29:13
  stay
• 29:13
  in
• 29:13
  this
• 29:13
  relationship
• 29:14
  because
• 29:14
  it's
• 29:14
  more
• 29:15
  convenient.
• 29:15
  But
• 29:16
  it's
• 29:16
  not
• 29:16
  working
• 29:16
  for
• 29:16
  me.
• 29:17
  So
• 29:17
  I'm
• 29:17
  going
• 29:17
  to
• 29:17
  find
• 29:17
  somebody
• 29:18
  else
• 29:18
  to
• 29:18
  fill
• 29:19
  these
• 29:19
  areas.
• 29:20
  It's
• 29:20
  more,
• 29:21
  it's
• 29:21
  an
• 29:22
  we
• 29:23
  rather
• 29:23
  than
• 29:23
  a
• 29:24
  subtractive
• 29:24
  model.
• 29:25
  Right.
• 29:25
  Like,
• 29:26
  which
• 29:26
  would
• 29:27
  be
• 29:27
  my
• 29:27
  partner
• 29:28
  has
• 29:29
  their
• 29:29
  own
• 29:30
  partner
• 29:30
  and
• 29:30
  they're
• 29:31
  taking
• 29:31
  energy
• 29:31
  away
• 29:32
  from
• 29:32
  our
• 29:32
  relationship
• 29:33
  and
• 29:33
  giving
• 29:34
  to
• 29:34
  this
• 29:34
  other
• 29:34
  person,
• 29:35
  which
• 29:36
  is
• 29:36
  oftentimes
• 29:37
  the
• 29:37
  mindset
• 29:38
  that
• 29:38
  keep.
• 29:38
  Keeps
• 29:39
  people
• 29:39
  stuck
• 29:39
  in
• 29:40
  this
• 29:40
  traditional
• 29:40
  model
• 29:41
  of
• 29:42
  relationships.
• 29:43
  Yeah.
• 29:43
  We
• 29:43
  want
• 29:43
  to
• 29:44
  transition
• 29:44
  and
• 29:45
  reframe
• 29:45
  more
• 29:45
  toward
• 29:46
  an
• 29:46
  additive
• 29:47
  model
• 29:47
  of
• 29:47
  thinking,
• 29:48
  which
• 29:48
  would
• 29:48
  be
• 29:49
  my
• 29:50
  partner
• 29:51
  and
• 29:51
  I,
• 29:52
  we're
• 29:52
  seeing
• 29:52
  outside
• 29:53
  partners
• 29:54
  for
• 29:54
  like
• 29:55
  additional
• 29:56
  energy.
• 29:56
  Right.
• 29:57
  Maybe
• 29:57
  we
• 29:57
  have
• 29:58
  caps
• 29:58
  on
• 29:58
  how
• 29:58
  much
• 29:59
  energy
• 29:59
  we
• 29:59
  can
• 30:00
  fulfill
• 30:01
  with
• 30:01
  each
• 30:01
  other.
• 30:02
  Just
• 30:02
  with
• 30:02
  each
• 30:02
  other.
• 30:03
  But
• 30:03
  if
• 30:03
  we
• 30:03
  bring
• 30:03
  these
• 30:04
  Other
• 30:04
  parties
• 30:04
  into
• 30:05
  the
• 30:05
  mix,
• 30:06
  and
• 30:06
  they
• 30:06
  enhance
• 30:07
  our
• 30:07
  levels
• 30:08
  of
• 30:08
  fulfillment,
• 30:09
  our
• 30:09
  joy,
• 30:10
  our,
• 30:10
  like,
• 30:11
  adventure
• 30:11
  for
• 30:12
  life.
• 30:12
  We
• 30:13
  bring
• 30:13
  that
• 30:13
  energy,
• 30:14
  that
• 30:14
  elevated
• 30:15
  mood
• 30:15
  back
• 30:15
  to
• 30:16
  each
• 30:16
  other,
• 30:16
  and
• 30:16
  we
• 30:17
  have
• 30:17
  more
• 30:17
  energy
• 30:17
  to
• 30:18
  recirculate
• 30:18
  among
• 30:19
  us.
• 30:19
  Okay.
• 30:21
  Yeah.
• 30:21
  Yeah.
• 30:23
  That
• 30:23
  gives
• 30:23
  you
• 30:23
  just
• 30:24
  right
• 30:24
  there
• 30:24
  already
• 30:24
  gives
• 30:25
  you
• 30:25
  a
• 30:25
  lot
• 30:25
  to
• 30:25
  think
• 30:25
  about
• 30:25
  because
• 30:26
  so
• 30:26
  many
• 30:26
  people
• 30:26
  are
• 30:27
  like,
• 30:27
  oh,
• 30:28
  like,
• 30:28
  yeah.
• 30:30
  You
• 30:30
  hear
• 30:30
  a
• 30:30
  lot
• 30:30
  of
• 30:30
  people
• 30:31
  say,
• 30:31
  yeah,
• 30:31
  my
• 30:32
  husband
• 30:32
  was
• 30:32
  a
• 30:32
  great
• 30:32
  guy.
• 30:33
  He,
• 30:33
  you
• 30:34
  know,
• 30:34
  really
• 30:34
  cared
• 30:34
  about
• 30:35
  me.
• 30:35
  He
• 30:35
  was
• 30:35
  a
• 30:35
  great
• 30:35
  father,
• 30:36
  but
• 30:37
  I
• 30:37
  just.
• 30:38
  I
• 30:38
  needed
• 30:38
  more
• 30:39
  or
• 30:39
  something.
• 30:40
  And
• 30:40
  like,
• 30:40
  then
• 30:41
  people
• 30:41
  are
• 30:41
  like,
• 30:41
  oh,
• 30:41
  we'll
• 30:42
  get
• 30:42
  a
• 30:42
  divorce.
• 30:42
  Like,
• 30:42
  find
• 30:43
  someone
• 30:43
  who
• 30:43
  can
• 30:43
  meet
• 30:44
  all
• 30:44
  those
• 30:44
  things.
• 30:45
  And
• 30:45
  there's
• 30:45
  always
• 30:46
  that.
• 30:46
  But
• 30:47
  how
• 30:47
  can.
• 30:48
  How
• 30:48
  can
• 30:48
  you
• 30:49
  ensure
• 30:49
  that
• 30:49
  you're
• 30:49
  going
• 30:49
  to
• 30:49
  get
• 30:50
  it
• 30:50
  all?
• 30:51
  And
• 30:51
  so
• 30:51
  maybe
• 30:52
  another
• 30:52
  way
• 30:52
  to
• 30:52
  think
• 30:52
  about
• 30:53
  it
• 30:53
  is,
• 30:54
  no,
• 30:54
  I
• 30:54
  am
• 30:55
  happy
• 30:55
  because
• 30:56
  you're
• 30:56
  a
• 30:57
  great
• 30:57
  husband,
• 30:57
  great
• 30:57
  father,
• 30:58
  like,
• 30:58
  so
• 30:59
  patient
• 30:59
  and
• 30:59
  kind
• 31:00
  and
• 31:00
  giving.
• 31:01
  But,
• 31:02
  like,
• 31:02
  you
• 31:03
  bring
• 31:03
  these
• 31:03
  things
• 31:03
  to.
• 31:04
  The
• 31:04
  table,
• 31:04
  and
• 31:05
  then
• 31:06
  other
• 31:06
  things
• 31:06
  are.
• 31:06
  Brought,
• 31:07
  and
• 31:07
  it
• 31:07
  can
• 31:07
  be
• 31:07
  an
• 31:07
  option
• 31:08
  as
• 31:09
  well.
• 31:09
  Yeah.
• 31:10
  No
• 31:10
  one
• 31:11
  person
• 31:12
  will
• 31:12
  fit
• 31:13
  all
• 31:13
  of
• 31:13
  the
• 31:13
  boxes.
• 31:14
  That's
• 31:14
  a
• 31:14
  big
• 31:15
  thing
• 31:15
  to
• 31:15
  remember.
• 31:16
  Yeah.
• 31:16
  And
• 31:17
  for
• 31:17
  a
• 31:17
  lot
• 31:17
  of
• 31:17
  people,
• 31:18
  it's
• 31:19
  like.
• 31:19
  For
• 31:19
  a
• 31:19
  lot
• 31:19
  of
• 31:20
  people
• 31:20
  in
• 31:20
  the
• 31:20
  traditional
• 31:21
  mindset,
• 31:21
  which
• 31:21
  also,
• 31:22
  like,
• 31:22
  I'm
• 31:23
  very
• 31:23
  supportive.
• 31:24
  I
• 31:24
  work
• 31:24
  so
• 31:25
  much
• 31:25
  with
• 31:25
  monogamous
• 31:26
  coupledoms,
• 31:26
  and
• 31:26
  that
• 31:27
  can
• 31:27
  be
• 31:27
  done
• 31:27
  healthily
• 31:28
  and
• 31:28
  unhealthily.
• 31:29
  Just
• 31:29
  like
• 31:29
  em
• 31:30
  can
• 31:30
  be
• 31:30
  done
• 31:30
  healthily
• 31:31
  or
• 31:31
  unhealthily
• 31:34
  for
• 31:34
  a
• 31:34
  lot
• 31:34
  of
• 31:34
  people
• 31:34
  in,
• 31:34
  like,
• 31:35
  the
• 31:35
  monogamous
• 31:36
  philosophy,
• 31:37
  they
• 31:37
  fill
• 31:38
  those
• 31:38
  needs
• 31:38
  with
• 31:39
  friend
• 31:39
  groups
• 31:39
  or
• 31:40
  with
• 31:40
  family
• 31:40
  experiences
• 31:41
  or
• 31:42
  with
• 31:42
  travel
• 31:43
  routes.
• 31:43
  You
• 31:43
  know
• 31:43
  what
• 31:43
  I
• 31:44
  mean?
• 31:44
  Hobbies.
• 31:46
  They
• 31:46
  just
• 31:46
  do
• 31:46
  it
• 31:46
  in
• 31:46
  other
• 31:47
  ways
• 31:47
  that
• 31:47
  don't
• 31:48
  involve
• 31:48
  romantic
• 31:49
  relationships.
• 31:50
  It's.
• 31:50
  But
• 31:50
  it's
• 31:51
  still
• 31:51
  the
• 31:51
  same
• 31:51
  process.
• 31:52
  Not
• 31:52
  this
• 31:53
  one
• 31:53
  person
• 31:53
  can't
• 31:54
  meet
• 31:54
  100%
• 31:55
  of
• 31:55
  your
• 31:56
  social,
• 31:57
  physical,
• 31:58
  intimate
• 31:58
  needs.
• 31:59
  That
• 31:59
  makes
• 31:59
  sense.
• 31:59
  And
• 31:59
  how
• 32:00
  do
• 32:00
  we
• 32:00
  get
• 32:00
  that
• 32:00
  elsewhere
• 32:01
  to
• 32:01
  feel
• 32:02
  whole,
• 32:03
  you
• 32:03
  know?
• 32:04
  So
• 32:04
  it's.
• 32:04
  Yes.
• 32:05
  Okay,
• 32:05
  so
• 32:05
  it's
• 32:05
  not
• 32:06
  E
• 32:06
  M
• 32:07
  is
• 32:07
  more.
• 32:07
  So,
• 32:07
  like,
• 32:07
  if
• 32:08
  you
• 32:08
  were
• 32:08
  missing
• 32:09
  something,
• 32:09
  particularly
• 32:10
  sexually,
• 32:11
  that
• 32:11
  you
• 32:12
  can't
• 32:12
  get
• 32:12
  fulfilled
• 32:13
  maybe
• 32:13
  in
• 32:13
  your
• 32:14
  marriage.
• 32:14
  And
• 32:15
  is
• 32:15
  that
• 32:16
  kind
• 32:16
  of
• 32:16
  what
• 32:16
  I'm
• 32:16
  understanding?
• 32:17
  I
• 32:17
  thought
• 32:17
  I
• 32:17
  understood
• 32:18
  that
• 32:18
  it
• 32:18
  didn't
• 32:18
  have
• 32:18
  to
• 32:19
  be
• 32:19
  sexually
• 32:19
  either.
• 32:19
  I
• 32:20
  don't
• 32:20
  know.
• 32:20
  I'm
• 32:20
  so
• 32:20
  confused
• 32:20
  now.
• 32:21
  Maybe.
• 32:23
  Think
• 32:23
  about.
• 32:24
  So
• 32:25
  poly.
• 32:25
  Polyamory.
• 32:26
  It's
• 32:26
  multiple
• 32:26
  relationships,
• 32:27
  Right?
• 32:27
  Okay.
• 32:28
  Multiple
• 32:29
  loves.
• 32:29
  And
• 32:29
  that
• 32:29
  can
• 32:30
  mean
• 32:30
  romantic
• 32:31
  love.
• 32:32
  It
• 32:32
  can
• 32:32
  mean
• 32:32
  sexual
• 32:33
  love.
• 32:34
  So
• 32:34
  if
• 32:35
  you're
• 32:35
  on
• 32:36
  that,
• 32:36
  on
• 32:36
  the
• 32:37
  farther
• 32:37
  end
• 32:37
  of
• 32:37
  the
• 32:38
  polyamorous
• 32:38
  spectrum,
• 32:39
  there.
• 32:40
  There's
• 32:40
  usually
• 32:40
  going
• 32:41
  to
• 32:41
  be
• 32:41
  a
• 32:41
  romantic
• 32:42
  component
• 32:42
  to
• 32:42
  it.
• 32:43
  Think
• 32:43
  about,
• 32:43
  like,
• 32:43
  emotional
• 32:44
  intimacy.
• 32:45
  Psychological
• 32:46
  intimacy.
• 32:47
  Physical
• 32:48
  intimacy.
• 32:48
  But
• 32:49
  not
• 32:49
  necessarily
• 32:50
  sexual.
• 32:51
  So
• 32:51
  it
• 32:51
  can
• 32:51
  have
• 32:51
  both
• 32:52
  of
• 32:52
  those
• 32:52
  components,
• 32:53
  sexual
• 32:53
  and
• 32:53
  romantic
• 32:54
  love.
• 32:55
  The
• 32:55
  closer
• 32:55
  you
• 32:56
  get
• 32:56
  to
• 32:56
  the
• 32:56
  other
• 32:56
  end
• 32:56
  of
• 32:57
  the
• 32:57
  spectrum
• 32:57
  of
• 32:57
  E
• 32:57
  M,
• 32:58
  which
• 32:58
  is
• 32:58
  like
• 32:59
  we're
• 32:59
  in
• 32:59
  a
• 33:00
  committed
• 33:00
  monogamous
• 33:01
  structure,
• 33:01
  but
• 33:02
  we
• 33:02
  want
• 33:02
  to
• 33:02
  have
• 33:02
  threesomes
• 33:03
  every
• 33:03
  once
• 33:03
  in
• 33:03
  a
• 33:04
  while,
• 33:04
  which
• 33:04
  is
• 33:04
  bringing
• 33:05
  a
• 33:05
  very
• 33:05
  like.
• 33:05
  It's
• 33:05
  a
• 33:05
  very
• 33:06
  controlled
• 33:06
  way
• 33:07
  of
• 33:07
  doing,
• 33:08
  of
• 33:08
  opening
• 33:08
  up
• 33:09
  where
• 33:09
  the
• 33:09
  primary
• 33:10
  dyad
• 33:11
  is
• 33:11
  still
• 33:11
  protected.
• 33:12
  That
• 33:12
  is
• 33:12
  much
• 33:12
  more
• 33:13
  sexually
• 33:14
  based
• 33:14
  relationship.
• 33:15
  That
• 33:15
  makes
• 33:15
  sense.
• 33:16
  Yeah.
• 33:16
  So
• 33:17
  you
• 33:17
  can
• 33:17
  do
• 33:17
  it
• 33:17
  in
• 33:17
  many
• 33:18
  different
• 33:18
  ways
• 33:19
  depending
• 33:19
  on
• 33:20
  what
• 33:20
  your
• 33:20
  needs
• 33:20
  are,
• 33:21
  you
• 33:21
  know,
• 33:21
  what
• 33:21
  the
• 33:21
  function
• 33:22
  is.
• 33:24
  Now
• 33:25
  just
• 33:25
  in
• 33:25
  a
• 33:26
  traditional
• 33:26
  relationship,
• 33:28
  coming
• 33:29
  to
• 33:29
  your
• 33:29
  partner
• 33:30
  about
• 33:30
  something
• 33:32
  sexual
• 33:33
  that
• 33:33
  you
• 33:33
  have
• 33:33
  a
• 33:33
  desire
• 33:34
  to
• 33:34
  explore
• 33:34
  or
• 33:35
  talk
• 33:35
  about
• 33:35
  can
• 33:36
  be
• 33:36
  scary
• 33:36
  and
• 33:36
  really
• 33:37
  hard.
• 33:39
  How
• 33:39
  do
• 33:39
  you
• 33:39
  have
• 33:40
  these
• 33:40
  conversations
• 33:42
  with
• 33:42
  a
• 33:42
  partner
• 33:43
  in
• 33:43
  a
• 33:43
  safe,
• 33:45
  unjudgmental
• 33:46
  way?
• 33:46
  Thank
• 33:46
  you.
• 33:47
  That's
• 33:47
  such
• 33:47
  a
• 33:47
  good
• 33:48
  question.
• 33:49
  That's
• 33:49
  a
• 33:49
  great
• 33:49
  question.
• 33:50
  And
• 33:51
  I
• 33:51
  think
• 33:51
  it
• 33:51
  really
• 33:51
  depends
• 33:52
  on
• 33:53
  the
• 33:53
  foundation
• 33:54
  of
• 33:54
  the
• 33:54
  relationship
• 33:54
  and
• 33:55
  if
• 33:55
  it's
• 33:55
  at
• 33:55
  a
• 33:55
  stable
• 33:56
  point
• 33:56
  for
• 33:56
  you
• 33:56
  to
• 33:57
  even
• 33:57
  consider
• 33:57
  and
• 33:58
  open
• 33:58
  this
• 33:58
  conversation
• 33:59
  up.
• 33:59
  Because
• 33:59
  it
• 34:00
  is
• 34:00
  a
• 34:00
  very
• 34:01
  vulnerable
• 34:02
  sometimes
• 34:02
  for
• 34:03
  people,
• 34:03
  it's
• 34:03
  very
• 34:03
  scary.
• 34:04
  There's
• 34:04
  a
• 34:04
  lot
• 34:05
  of
• 34:05
  like
• 34:05
  fear,
• 34:06
  future
• 34:07
  oriented
• 34:07
  fear
• 34:07
  responses
• 34:08
  that
• 34:09
  like
• 34:09
  activate
• 34:09
  immediately
• 34:11
  and
• 34:11
  a
• 34:12
  lot
• 34:12
  of
• 34:12
  familial
• 34:12
  trauma.
• 34:13
  Right.
• 34:13
  Like
• 34:14
  if
• 34:14
  you
• 34:14
  went
• 34:14
  through
• 34:14
  a
• 34:14
  divorce
• 34:15
  when
• 34:15
  you
• 34:15
  were
• 34:15
  a
• 34:15
  kid
• 34:16
  because
• 34:16
  one
• 34:16
  of
• 34:16
  your
• 34:16
  parents
• 34:17
  cheated
• 34:17
  on
• 34:17
  the
• 34:17
  other
• 34:17
  person,
• 34:18
  this
• 34:18
  can
• 34:18
  be
• 34:19
  really
• 34:19
  reactivating
• 34:20
  of
• 34:20
  loss
• 34:21
  and
• 34:21
  abandonment
• 34:21
  for
• 34:22
  people.
• 34:23
  So
• 34:24
  not
• 34:24
  only
• 34:24
  do
• 34:24
  we
• 34:25
  want
• 34:25
  to
• 34:25
  make
• 34:25
  sure
• 34:25
  that
• 34:25
  everybody
• 34:26
  has
• 34:26
  done
• 34:26
  their
• 34:26
  work,
• 34:27
  like
• 34:27
  their
• 34:27
  own
• 34:27
  personal
• 34:28
  work
• 34:28
  to
• 34:29
  heal
• 34:29
  and
• 34:29
  recover
• 34:30
  from
• 34:30
  some
• 34:30
  of
• 34:30
  those
• 34:31
  relational
• 34:31
  traumas,
• 34:32
  but
• 34:33
  there
• 34:33
  should
• 34:33
  be
• 34:33
  secure
• 34:34
  attachment
• 34:34
  in
• 34:34
  your
• 34:35
  relationship.
• 34:35
  You
• 34:36
  shouldn't.
• 34:37
  We
• 34:37
  should
• 34:37
  never
• 34:38
  dive
• 34:38
  into,
• 34:39
  like
• 34:40
  expanding
• 34:40
  toward
• 34:41
  a
• 34:41
  more
• 34:41
  complex
• 34:42
  system.
• 34:43
  If
• 34:43
  your
• 34:43
  current
• 34:44
  dyadic
• 34:44
  system
• 34:45
  is
• 34:45
  unstable,
• 34:46
  it
• 34:46
  will
• 34:46
  never
• 34:46
  end
• 34:47
  well.
• 34:47
  And
• 34:48
  so
• 34:48
  we
• 34:48
  want
• 34:49
  to
• 34:49
  evaluate,
• 34:49
  like,
• 34:50
  do
• 34:50
  you
• 34:50
  feel
• 34:50
  safe
• 34:51
  and
• 34:51
  secure
• 34:51
  with
• 34:51
  me?
• 34:52
  Are
• 34:52
  we
• 34:52
  stable?
• 34:53
  Do
• 34:53
  we
• 34:53
  have
• 34:53
  the
• 34:53
  4s'
• 34:55
  in
• 34:55
  our
• 34:55
  relationship
• 34:56
  pretty
• 34:56
  consistently?
• 34:57
  And
• 34:57
  if
• 34:58
  not,
• 34:58
  that
• 34:58
  needs
• 34:58
  to
• 34:59
  be
• 34:59
  the
• 34:59
  first
• 34:59
  step.
• 35:00
  Can
• 35:00
  we
• 35:01
  talk
• 35:01
  about
• 35:01
  the
• 35:01
  four
• 35:01
  S's?
• 35:02
  Because
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  was
• 35:02
  just
• 35:03
  about
• 35:03
  to
• 35:03
  ask
• 35:03
  you,
• 35:04
  like,
• 35:04
  you
• 35:05
  know,
• 35:05
  we're
• 35:05
  always
• 35:05
  supposed
• 35:06
  to
• 35:06
  be
• 35:06
  working
• 35:06
  on
• 35:07
  ourselves.
• 35:07
  When
• 35:07
  are,
• 35:07
  when's
• 35:08
  the
• 35:08
  work
• 35:08
  going
• 35:08
  to
• 35:08
  be
• 35:08
  done?
• 35:08
  It's
• 35:09
  never
• 35:09
  going
• 35:09
  to
• 35:09
  be
• 35:09
  done.
• 35:09
  Right.
• 35:10
  So
• 35:10
  how
• 35:10
  do
• 35:10
  you
• 35:10
  know
• 35:10
  that
• 35:10
  you've
• 35:11
  done
• 35:11
  enough
• 35:11
  work
• 35:12
  to
• 35:13
  bring
• 35:13
  in
• 35:14
  some
• 35:14
  of
• 35:14
  these
• 35:15
  conversations
• 35:16
  like
• 35:16
  that
• 35:16
  you're
• 35:16
  like
• 35:17
  stable
• 35:17
  enough?
• 35:17
  Like.
• 35:18
  Well,
• 35:18
  in
• 35:18
  my
• 35:19
  opinion,
• 35:19
  I
• 35:19
  also
• 35:20
  think
• 35:20
  that
• 35:20
  there's
• 35:20
  probably,
• 35:21
  I
• 35:21
  think
• 35:22
  way
• 35:23
  less
• 35:23
  couples
• 35:23
  than
• 35:24
  we
• 35:24
  want
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  admit
• 35:25
  ever
• 35:26
  reach
• 35:26
  a
• 35:27
  secure
• 35:27
  relationship.
• 35:28
  So.
• 35:31
  Yeah.
• 35:31
  So
• 35:32
  I'm
• 35:32
  wondering
• 35:32
  if
• 35:32
  those
• 35:33
  S's
• 35:33
  is
• 35:33
  that
• 35:34
  like
• 35:34
  the
• 35:34
  security,
• 35:35
  like
• 35:35
  she
• 35:35
  just
• 35:35
  said,
• 35:36
  Is
• 35:36
  that
• 35:36
  one
• 35:36
  of
• 35:36
  them?
• 35:38
  Yeah.
• 35:38
  So
• 35:38
  the
• 35:38
  four
• 35:39
  S's
• 35:39
  are
• 35:40
  safe,
• 35:40
  seen,
• 35:41
  soothed
• 35:42
  and
• 35:42
  secure.
• 35:43
  Oh,
• 35:44
  you
• 35:44
  can
• 35:45
  only
• 35:45
  access
• 35:45
  security
• 35:46
  on
• 35:47
  a
• 35:47
  con,
• 35:47
  like
• 35:47
  on
• 35:47
  a,
• 35:48
  you
• 35:48
  know,
• 35:48
  stable
• 35:48
  basis.
• 35:49
  When
• 35:49
  you
• 35:49
  have
• 35:49
  the
• 35:49
  first
• 35:50
  three
• 35:50
  that
• 35:50
  are
• 35:51
  present
• 35:51
  consistently
• 35:52
  and
• 35:53
  we're
• 35:53
  human,
• 35:54
  there
• 35:54
  are
• 35:54
  going
• 35:54
  to
• 35:54
  be
• 35:54
  situational
• 35:55
  triggers
• 35:56
  where
• 35:56
  like,
• 35:56
  you
• 35:56
  know,
• 35:57
  we
• 35:57
  feel
• 35:57
  a
• 35:57
  moment
• 35:57
  of
• 35:57
  regression,
• 35:58
  we
• 35:58
  come
• 35:58
  to
• 35:59
  our
• 35:59
  partner,
• 35:59
  we
• 35:59
  repair
• 36:00
  and
• 36:00
  heal.
• 36:01
  This
• 36:01
  is
• 36:01
  more
• 36:01
  so
• 36:02
  in
• 36:02
  like
• 36:02
  an,
• 36:03
  an
• 36:03
  everyday
• 36:04
  kind
• 36:04
  of
• 36:05
  baseline.
• 36:06
  Are
• 36:06
  you
• 36:06
  feeling
• 36:07
  safe
• 36:07
  emotionally,
• 36:08
  physically,
• 36:09
  financially,
• 36:09
  whatever
• 36:10
  it
• 36:10
  is,
• 36:10
  Are
• 36:10
  you
• 36:10
  feeling
• 36:11
  safe?
• 36:11
  Are
• 36:12
  you
• 36:12
  feeling
• 36:12
  seen,
• 36:13
  which
• 36:13
  is
• 36:14
  tapping
• 36:14
  into
• 36:14
  the
• 36:15
  emotional
• 36:15
  and
• 36:15
  psychological
• 36:16
  intimacy
• 36:17
  component.
• 36:17
  Do
• 36:17
  you
• 36:17
  feel
• 36:18
  like
• 36:18
  your
• 36:18
  partner
• 36:18
  verifies
• 36:20
  who
• 36:20
  you
• 36:20
  feel
• 36:20
  you
• 36:21
  deeply
• 36:21
  are
• 36:22
  as
• 36:22
  like
• 36:22
  a
• 36:22
  human
• 36:23
  being
• 36:23
  and
• 36:24
  do
• 36:24
  they
• 36:24
  support
• 36:24
  your
• 36:25
  emotional
• 36:25
  health
• 36:26
  and
• 36:27
  then
• 36:27
  do
• 36:27
  you
• 36:28
  feel
• 36:28
  soothed?
• 36:29
  Which
• 36:29
  is
• 36:29
  more
• 36:30
  about
• 36:30
  co
• 36:31
  regulation,
• 36:32
  not
• 36:33
  codependency.
• 36:34
  So
• 36:35
  this
• 36:35
  is
• 36:35
  different
• 36:35
  from
• 36:37
  I'm
• 36:38
  upset,
• 36:38
  I
• 36:38
  need
• 36:39
  you
• 36:39
  to
• 36:39
  regulate
• 36:40
  my
• 36:40
  emotions.
• 36:41
  That
• 36:41
  is
• 36:41
  what
• 36:42
  codependence
• 36:42
  is.
• 36:43
  Right.
• 36:44
  Co
• 36:45
  regulation
• 36:46
  is.
• 36:47
  I
• 36:47
  see
• 36:47
  that
• 36:47
  you're
• 36:48
  at
• 36:48
  the
• 36:48
  upset.
• 36:48
  I'm
• 36:49
  going
• 36:49
  to
• 36:49
  sit
• 36:49
  here
• 36:49
  next
• 36:50
  to
• 36:50
  you.
• 36:50
  Maybe
• 36:51
  I'll
• 36:51
  model
• 36:51
  deep
• 36:51
  breathing
• 36:52
  or
• 36:52
  some
• 36:53
  acupressure
• 36:53
  tapping
• 36:54
  points,
• 36:55
  be
• 36:55
  here
• 36:56
  with
• 36:56
  you.
• 36:56
  As
• 36:57
  you
• 36:57
  go
• 36:57
  through
• 36:57
  this
• 36:58
  stressful
• 36:58
  experience
• 36:59
  of
• 36:59
  regulating.
• 37:00
  Do
• 37:01
  you
• 37:01
  see
• 37:01
  how
• 37:01
  there's
• 37:02
  like.
• 37:02
  Yeah,
• 37:03
  there's
• 37:03
  like
• 37:03
  support
• 37:04
  and
• 37:05
  love
• 37:05
  and
• 37:05
  respond
• 37:06
  responsivity
• 37:07
  there.
• 37:08
  Right.
• 37:09
  On
• 37:09
  a
• 37:09
  consistent
• 37:10
  basis.
• 37:10
  So
• 37:10
  we
• 37:10
  need
• 37:10
  those
• 37:11
  three
• 37:11
  things
• 37:11
  in
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  relationship
• 37:12
  before
• 37:13
  you
• 37:13
  can
• 37:13
  even
• 37:13
  evaluate
• 37:14
  if
• 37:14
  security
• 37:15
  has
• 37:15
  been
• 37:15
  accessed.
• 37:17
  Interesting.
• 37:18
  As.
• 37:19
  Do
• 37:19
  you
• 37:20
  also
• 37:20
  feel
• 37:20
  like
• 37:21
  there
• 37:21
  is
• 37:21
  a
• 37:22
  very
• 37:22
  low
• 37:22
  amount
• 37:23
  of
• 37:23
  couples
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  will
• 37:24
  ever
• 37:24
  reach
• 37:24
  a
• 37:24
  secure
• 37:25
  relationship?
• 37:27
  I
• 37:27
  do.
• 37:27
  I
• 37:28
  think
• 37:28
  if
• 37:28
  you
• 37:28
  have
• 37:29
  a
• 37:29
  really
• 37:30
  effective
• 37:30
  like,
• 37:31
  so
• 37:31
  as
• 37:32
  a
• 37:32
  couple's
• 37:33
  therapist,
• 37:34
  that's
• 37:34
  like
• 37:34
  my
• 37:35
  jam.
• 37:35
  Right.
• 37:37
  If
• 37:37
  I
• 37:37
  were
• 37:38
  to
• 37:38
  be
• 37:38
  asked
• 37:38
  what
• 37:39
  is
• 37:39
  the
• 37:39
  most
• 37:40
  valuable,
• 37:40
  most
• 37:41
  critical
• 37:42
  tool
• 37:43
  that
• 37:43
  any
• 37:44
  couple
• 37:44
  can,
• 37:44
  can
• 37:45
  learn?
• 37:45
  Like
• 37:45
  the
• 37:45
  first
• 37:46
  thing
• 37:46
  I
• 37:46
  want
• 37:46
  people
• 37:47
  to
• 37:47
  learn
• 37:47
  how
• 37:47
  to
• 37:48
  do
• 37:48
  is
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  repair.
• 37:50
  It's
• 37:50
  to
• 37:50
  like
• 37:51
  identify
• 37:52
  when
• 37:52
  an
• 37:52
  injury
• 37:53
  is
• 37:53
  happening
• 37:53
  in
• 37:53
  the
• 37:54
  relationship,
• 37:55
  be
• 37:55
  able
• 37:55
  to
• 37:56
  implement
• 37:57
  effective
• 37:58
  diffusive
• 37:59
  techniques
• 37:59
  to
• 37:59
  reduce
• 38:00
  the
• 38:00
  tension
• 38:01
  as
• 38:01
  it
• 38:01
  has
• 38:01
  built
• 38:02
  and
• 38:03
  to
• 38:03
  know
• 38:03
  how
• 38:04
  to
• 38:04
  come
• 38:04
  back
• 38:04
  together
• 38:05
  and
• 38:05
  prioritize
• 38:06
  the
• 38:06
  bigger
• 38:06
  picture,
• 38:07
  which
• 38:07
  is
• 38:07
  never,
• 38:08
  am
• 38:08
  I
• 38:08
  right
• 38:09
  or
• 38:09
  are
• 38:09
  you
• 38:09
  right?
• 38:10
  But
• 38:10
  it's
• 38:10
  always
• 38:10
  going
• 38:10
  to
• 38:11
  be,
• 38:11
  how
• 38:11
  can
• 38:11
  we
• 38:11
  be
• 38:12
  happy
• 38:12
  and
• 38:13
  feel
• 38:13
  loved
• 38:13
  in
• 38:14
  this
• 38:14
  life
• 38:14
  that
• 38:14
  we
• 38:14
  share
• 38:15
  together?
• 38:16
  Right,
• 38:16
  yeah.
• 38:17
  So
• 38:17
  it's
• 38:18
  whatever
• 38:18
  activates
• 38:19
  that
• 38:19
  bigger
• 38:20
  picture
• 38:20
  perspective
• 38:21
  for
• 38:21
  you
• 38:22
  to
• 38:22
  like
• 38:22
  deprioritize
• 38:24
  that
• 38:24
  power
• 38:24
  dynamic
• 38:25
  that's
• 38:25
  happening
• 38:25
  right
• 38:26
  now.
• 38:26
  Because
• 38:26
  that's
• 38:26
  not
• 38:27
  going
• 38:27
  to
• 38:27
  bring
• 38:27
  you
• 38:27
  what
• 38:27
  you
• 38:28
  want
• 38:28
  and
• 38:28
  what
• 38:28
  you
• 38:28
  need.
• 38:30
  So
• 38:30
  having
• 38:31
  a
• 38:31
  really
• 38:31
  effective
• 38:32
  repair
• 38:32
  process,
• 38:33
  even
• 38:33
  if
• 38:33
  you're
• 38:34
  attachment
• 38:35
  is
• 38:35
  not
• 38:36
  100%
• 38:36
  secure
• 38:37
  all
• 38:37
  of
• 38:37
  the
• 38:38
  time.
• 38:38
  If
• 38:39
  you
• 38:39
  can
• 38:39
  do
• 38:39
  that,
• 38:40
  you
• 38:41
  can
• 38:41
  be
• 38:41
  healthy
• 38:41
  in
• 38:42
  your
• 38:42
  relationship.
• 38:43
  What
• 38:44
  would
• 38:44
  you
• 38:44
  advice?
• 38:45
  Would
• 38:45
  you
• 38:45
  give
• 38:45
  somebody
• 38:45
  who's
• 38:46
  going
• 38:46
  through
• 38:47
  some
• 38:47
  struggles
• 38:48
  in
• 38:48
  their
• 38:48
  marriage
• 38:49
  and
• 38:51
  maybe
• 38:52
  they've
• 38:52
  decided
• 38:54
  that
• 38:54
  it's
• 38:54
  about.
• 38:54
  That
• 38:55
  it
• 38:55
  should
• 38:55
  be
• 38:55
  over.
• 38:56
  Like,
• 38:56
  how
• 38:57
  do
• 38:57
  you
• 38:57
  decide
• 38:58
  it's
• 38:59
  okay
• 38:59
  to
• 38:59
  not
• 38:59
  repair?
• 39:01
  Like,
• 39:01
  what
• 39:01
  would
• 39:01
  you
• 39:01
  say?
• 39:02
  Like,
• 39:02
  are
• 39:02
  the
• 39:02
  things
• 39:02
  that
• 39:02
  you
• 39:02
  need
• 39:03
  to
• 39:03
  be
• 39:03
  looking
• 39:03
  for?
• 39:03
  Like,
• 39:04
  like
• 39:04
  what
• 39:05
  are
• 39:05
  the
• 39:05
  core
• 39:05
  values
• 39:06
  of
• 39:06
  like
• 39:06
  this
• 39:06
  is
• 39:06
  repairable
• 39:07
  or
• 39:08
  beyond.
• 39:08
  Reconcile,
• 39:10
  it's
• 39:11
  okay
• 39:11
  to
• 39:11
  move
• 39:11
  on.
• 39:13
  Yeah.
• 39:13
  I
• 39:13
  think
• 39:13
  it's
• 39:14
  more
• 39:14
  about
• 39:14
  intention.
• 39:16
  For
• 39:16
  what?
• 39:16
  For
• 39:17
  whatever
• 39:17
  decisions
• 39:18
  you're
• 39:18
  making.
• 39:18
  Right.
• 39:19
  Like
• 39:19
  if,
• 39:20
  if
• 39:20
  somebody
• 39:21
  comes
• 39:21
  in
• 39:21
  and
• 39:21
  they're
• 39:21
  like,
• 39:21
  I
• 39:22
  want
• 39:22
  to
• 39:22
  leave
• 39:22
  my
• 39:22
  partner
• 39:23
  and
• 39:23
  I
• 39:23
  want
• 39:24
  to
• 39:24
  make
• 39:24
  sure
• 39:24
  that
• 39:24
  I
• 39:24
  make
• 39:25
  the
• 39:25
  right
• 39:25
  decision.
• 39:26
  Right.
• 39:26
  What
• 39:26
  I
• 39:26
  would
• 39:27
  first
• 39:27
  do
• 39:27
  is
• 39:27
  help
• 39:27
  them
• 39:28
  break
• 39:28
  down
• 39:29
  all
• 39:29
  of
• 39:30
  the
• 39:30
  intricacies
• 39:31
  to
• 39:31
  get
• 39:31
  down
• 39:31
  to
• 39:31
  the
• 39:31
  root
• 39:32
  core.
• 39:32
  And
• 39:33
  sometimes
• 39:33
  the
• 39:33
  root
• 39:34
  core
• 39:34
  is
• 39:35
  but
• 39:35
  I
• 39:35
  don't
• 39:35
  trust
• 39:36
  them.
• 39:36
  And
• 39:36
  so
• 39:37
  I
• 39:37
  don't
• 39:37
  want
• 39:38
  to
• 39:38
  continue
• 39:38
  this
• 39:38
  relationship
• 39:39
  because
• 39:39
  that
• 39:40
  would
• 39:40
  require
• 39:41
  me
• 39:41
  to
• 39:41
  step
• 39:41
  back
• 39:42
  into
• 39:42
  vulnerability
• 39:43
  with
• 39:43
  them.
• 39:44
  Right.
• 39:45
  Yeah.
• 39:45
  Which
• 39:45
  is
• 39:46
  more
• 39:46
  fear
• 39:46
  based.
• 39:47
  That's
• 39:47
  not
• 39:48
  like
• 39:48
  a,
• 39:48
  that's
• 39:48
  not
• 39:48
  a
• 39:49
  healthy
• 39:49
  intention
• 39:50
  for
• 39:50
  making
• 39:50
  you
• 39:51
  sound
• 39:51
  decisions
• 39:52
  for
• 39:52
  your
• 39:52
  life,
• 39:53
  like
• 39:53
  horrible
• 39:54
  decisions
• 39:54
  that
• 39:54
  drastically
• 39:55
  impact
• 39:55
  your
• 39:56
  life.
• 39:57
  We
• 39:57
  want
• 39:57
  to
• 39:58
  help
• 39:58
  you
• 39:59
  recognize
• 40:00
  like
• 40:01
  what
• 40:02
  your
• 40:02
  needs
• 40:02
  are,
• 40:03
  the
• 40:03
  compatibility
• 40:04
  potential
• 40:04
  with
• 40:05
  your
• 40:05
  partner.
• 40:06
  We
• 40:06
  want
• 40:06
  to
• 40:06
  heal
• 40:07
  any
• 40:07
  active
• 40:08
  betrayals.
• 40:08
  And
• 40:09
  that
• 40:09
  doesn't
• 40:09
  necessarily
• 40:10
  have
• 40:10
  to
• 40:10
  include
• 40:11
  the
• 40:11
  other
• 40:11
  person.
• 40:12
  Right.
• 40:13
  Like
• 40:13
  you
• 40:14
  going
• 40:14
  through
• 40:14
  the
• 40:15
  forgiveness
• 40:15
  process
• 40:16
  and
• 40:16
  being
• 40:16
  able
• 40:16
  to
• 40:17
  release
• 40:17
  past
• 40:18
  pain
• 40:19
  is
• 40:19
  more
• 40:19
  about
• 40:20
  you
• 40:20
  and
• 40:21
  your.
• 40:23
  You
• 40:23
  deserving
• 40:24
  a
• 40:24
  higher
• 40:24
  quality
• 40:24
  of
• 40:25
  life
• 40:25
  than
• 40:25
  carrying
• 40:26
  the
• 40:26
  weight
• 40:26
  of
• 40:26
  these
• 40:27
  emotional
• 40:27
  burdens.
• 40:28
  Right.
• 40:29
  So
• 40:30
  put
• 40:30
  that
• 40:30
  decision
• 40:30
  on
• 40:31
  the
• 40:31
  back
• 40:31
  burner
• 40:32
  for
• 40:32
  a
• 40:32
  couple
• 40:32
  of
• 40:33
  weeks
• 40:33
  while
• 40:33
  we
• 40:34
  help
• 40:34
  get
• 40:34
  you
• 40:35
  re
• 40:35
  centered
• 40:36
  and
• 40:36
  in
• 40:36
  a
• 40:36
  sound
• 40:37
  place
• 40:37
  when
• 40:38
  you're
• 40:38
  making
• 40:38
  good
• 40:38
  executive
• 40:39
  decisions
• 40:40
  for
• 40:40
  yourself.
• 40:40
  Did
• 40:41
  I
• 40:41
  answer
• 40:41
  the
• 40:41
  question?
• 40:42
  Yeah,
• 40:42
  I
• 40:43
  think
• 40:43
  so.
• 40:43
  Thank
• 40:44
  you.
• 40:46
  There
• 40:46
  are
• 40:47
  a
• 40:47
  lot
• 40:47
  of
• 40:47
  reasons
• 40:47
  why.
• 40:49
  There
• 40:49
  are
• 40:49
  a
• 40:49
  lot
• 40:49
  of
• 40:49
  reasons
• 40:49
  why
• 40:50
  people
• 40:50
  are
• 40:50
  in
• 40:51
  romantic
• 40:51
  relationships.
• 40:53
  And
• 40:53
  I
• 40:53
  think
• 40:53
  in
• 40:53
  a
• 40:53
  bit
• 40:53
  we'll
• 40:54
  probably
• 40:54
  talk
• 40:54
  about
• 40:54
  the
• 40:55
  reasons
• 40:55
  for
• 40:55
  sex
• 40:56
  as
• 40:56
  well,
• 40:56
  which
• 40:56
  there
• 40:57
  can
• 40:57
  be
• 40:57
  many,
• 41:00
  which
• 41:00
  is
• 41:00
  great.
• 41:01
  But
• 41:02
  for
• 41:02
  both
• 41:02
  of
• 41:02
  those
• 41:03
  things,
• 41:03
  there
• 41:03
  are
• 41:03
  healthy
• 41:04
  and
• 41:04
  unhealthy
• 41:05
  reasons.
• 41:06
  Right.
• 41:06
  Like
• 41:07
  coming
• 41:07
  together
• 41:07
  because
• 41:08
  you
• 41:08
  have
• 41:08
  children
• 41:09
  together
• 41:09
  is
• 41:09
  not
• 41:10
  a
• 41:10
  healthy
• 41:10
  reason.
• 41:11
  It's
• 41:11
  not
• 41:11
  going.
• 41:11
  If
• 41:12
  that's
• 41:12
  the
• 41:12
  core
• 41:12
  reason
• 41:12
  why
• 41:13
  you're
• 41:13
  remaining
• 41:14
  committed
• 41:14
  in
• 41:14
  this
• 41:15
  relationship,
• 41:16
  it
• 41:16
  will
• 41:16
  not
• 41:16
  serve
• 41:17
  to
• 41:17
  bring
• 41:17
  you
• 41:17
  happiness
• 41:18
  and
• 41:18
  fulfillment.
• 41:19
  Absolutely.
• 41:20
  Yeah.
• 41:20
  You
• 41:21
  know,
• 41:21
  there
• 41:21
  has
• 41:21
  to
• 41:21
  be
• 41:22
  something
• 41:22
  more
• 41:22
  core
• 41:23
  in
• 41:23
  terms
• 41:23
  of
• 41:24
  the
• 41:24
  attachment.
• 41:24
  If
• 41:25
  your
• 41:25
  attachment
• 41:26
  is
• 41:26
  totally
• 41:27
  severed
• 41:27
  and
• 41:28
  you're
• 41:28
  feeling
• 41:28
  more
• 41:29
  apathetic
• 41:29
  than
• 41:30
  you
• 41:30
  are
• 41:30
  connected.
• 41:31
  There's,
• 41:32
  it's,
• 41:33
  it's
• 41:33
  hard
• 41:33
  to
• 41:34
  regain
• 41:34
  that
• 41:35
  back
• 41:35
  because
• 41:35
  yeah,
• 41:36
  the
• 41:36
  repair
• 41:37
  processes
• 41:37
  work.
• 41:38
  Right.
• 41:38
  You
• 41:38
  have
• 41:38
  to
• 41:38
  want
• 41:40
  in
• 41:40
  order
• 41:40
  to
• 41:40
  put
• 41:41
  in
• 41:41
  the
• 41:41
  work
• 41:41
  for
• 41:41
  it
• 41:41
  to
• 41:42
  work
• 41:42
  workout.
• 41:42
  Right,
• 41:43
  Right.
• 41:45
  Like
• 41:46
  you
• 41:46
  said,
• 41:46
  I
• 41:46
  do
• 41:46
  want
• 41:47
  to
• 41:47
  move
• 41:47
  into
• 41:48
  the
• 41:49
  reasons
• 41:49
  for
• 41:49
  sex,
• 41:50
  but
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  have
• 41:50
  one
• 41:50
  more
• 41:51
  question
• 41:51
  about
• 41:51
  attachment
• 41:52
  style.
• 41:54
  When
• 41:54
  you
• 41:54
  have
• 41:55
  a
• 41:55
  couple
• 41:56
  and
• 41:58
  one
• 41:59
  person
• 41:59
  may
• 41:59
  be
• 42:00
  secure
• 42:00
  in
• 42:00
  their
• 42:01
  personal
• 42:01
  attachment
• 42:02
  style,
• 42:03
  if
• 42:03
  the
• 42:03
  other
• 42:04
  person
• 42:04
  in
• 42:04
  that
• 42:04
  relationship
• 42:05
  never
• 42:05
  reaches
• 42:06
  a
• 42:06
  secure
• 42:07
  attachment
• 42:08
  style
• 42:08
  for
• 42:08
  themselves,
• 42:09
  will
• 42:09
  they
• 42:09
  ever
• 42:10
  be
• 42:10
  able
• 42:10
  to
• 42:10
  have
• 42:10
  like
• 42:10
  a
• 42:11
  fully
• 42:11
  healthy,
• 42:11
  happy
• 42:12
  relationship?
• 42:12
  I
• 42:13
  was
• 42:13
  literally
• 42:13
  thinking
• 42:13
  that
• 42:14
  while
• 42:14
  she
• 42:14
  was
• 42:14
  talking.
• 42:18
  You
• 42:18
  guys
• 42:18
  are
• 42:18
  so
• 42:19
  aligned.
• 42:21
  We
• 42:21
  get
• 42:21
  that
• 42:21
  a
• 42:22
  lot.
• 42:24
  No,
• 42:24
  it's
• 42:24
  a,
• 42:24
  it's
• 42:24
  a
• 42:25
  great
• 42:25
  question.
• 42:27
  I
• 42:27
  love
• 42:27
  systems
• 42:28
  work
• 42:28
  because
• 42:29
  we
• 42:29
  can
• 42:29
  like
• 42:29
  pop
• 42:30
  out
• 42:30
  of
• 42:31
  the,
• 42:32
  the
• 42:33
  in
• 42:33
  depth,
• 42:33
  like
• 42:34
  situational
• 42:34
  stuff
• 42:35
  and
• 42:35
  really
• 42:35
  look
• 42:36
  at
• 42:36
  the
• 42:36
  bigger
• 42:36
  picture
• 42:37
  and
• 42:37
  how
• 42:37
  systems
• 42:38
  work.
• 42:38
  Work
• 42:38
  in
• 42:39
  relationships.
• 42:40
  Systems
• 42:40
  will
• 42:40
  always
• 42:41
  try
• 42:41
  to
• 42:42
  find
• 42:42
  balance,
• 42:43
  which
• 42:43
  is
• 42:43
  why
• 42:44
  if
• 42:44
  we
• 42:45
  have
• 42:45
  originally
• 42:46
  a
• 42:46
  secure,
• 42:47
  securely
• 42:47
  attached
• 42:48
  partner
• 42:49
  and
• 42:49
  a
• 42:49
  partner
• 42:50
  who
• 42:50
  is,
• 42:52
  I
• 42:52
  don't
• 42:52
  know,
• 42:52
  disorganized,
• 42:53
  avoidant.
• 42:54
  I'm
• 42:55
  sure
• 42:56
  it's
• 42:56
  a
• 42:56
  huge
• 42:56
  spectrum.
• 42:57
  Those
• 42:57
  aren't
• 42:57
  like
• 42:58
  refined
• 42:59
  dichotomous
• 43:00
  categories,
• 43:01
  right?
• 43:01
  Like
• 43:01
  there,
• 43:01
  there's
• 43:02
  a
• 43:02
  range
• 43:03
  there.
• 43:03
  Yeah.
• 43:04
  The
• 43:04
  system
• 43:04
  is
• 43:05
  going
• 43:05
  to
• 43:05
  find
• 43:05
  balance
• 43:06
  with
• 43:06
  that
• 43:06
  partnership
• 43:07
  by
• 43:07
  encouraging
• 43:08
  the
• 43:08
  secure
• 43:08
  partner
• 43:09
  to
• 43:10
  do
• 43:10
  the
• 43:10
  exact
• 43:10
  opposite
• 43:11
  of
• 43:11
  what
• 43:11
  the
• 43:12
  insecure
• 43:12
  partner
• 43:13
  is
• 43:13
  doing.
• 43:14
  So
• 43:14
  if
• 43:14
  one
• 43:14
  person
• 43:15
  is
• 43:15
  presenting
• 43:15
  with
• 43:16
  more
• 43:16
  of
• 43:16
  an
• 43:16
  avoidance
• 43:17
  style
• 43:17
  in
• 43:17
  this
• 43:17
  relationship,
• 43:19
  the
• 43:19
  system
• 43:19
  is
• 43:19
  going
• 43:20
  to
• 43:20
  encourage
• 43:21
  their
• 43:21
  counterpart
• 43:22
  to
• 43:22
  present
• 43:23
  with
• 43:23
  more
• 43:23
  anxious
• 43:24
  tendencies.
• 43:25
  Which
• 43:26
  is
• 43:26
  why
• 43:26
  we
• 43:26
  feel
• 43:27
  like
• 43:27
  people
• 43:28
  will
• 43:28
  come
• 43:28
  in
• 43:28
  and
• 43:28
  be
• 43:29
  like,
• 43:29
  oh,
• 43:29
  we
• 43:29
  had
• 43:29
  this
• 43:30
  moment
• 43:30
  of
• 43:31
  betrayal
• 43:32
  or
• 43:32
  injury
• 43:32
  in
• 43:32
  our
• 43:32
  relationship
• 43:33
  and
• 43:34
  it's
• 43:34
  just
• 43:34
  gotten
• 43:35
  out
• 43:35
  of
• 43:35
  hand.
• 43:36
  Like,
• 43:36
  we
• 43:37
  have
• 43:37
  just
• 43:37
  changed
• 43:38
  so
• 43:38
  much
• 43:38
  how
• 43:39
  we
• 43:39
  interact
• 43:39
  with
• 43:39
  one
• 43:40
  another
• 43:40
  over
• 43:40
  the
• 43:40
  last
• 43:41
  couple
• 43:41
  of
• 43:41
  years
• 43:41
  since
• 43:42
  that
• 43:42
  incident.
• 43:43
  And
• 43:43
  it
• 43:43
  just,
• 43:44
  it
• 43:44
  gets
• 43:44
  like
• 43:45
  worse
• 43:45
  and
• 43:45
  worse,
• 43:46
  right?
• 43:46
  Like.
• 43:47
  Yeah,
• 43:47
  exactly.
• 43:48
  Until
• 43:48
  we
• 43:49
  rebalance
• 43:50
  and
• 43:50
  stabilize
• 43:51
  the
• 43:51
  system,
• 43:53
  it's
• 43:54
  going
• 43:54
  to
• 43:54
  be
• 43:54
  a
• 43:54
  really
• 43:55
  gross
• 43:55
  oversimplification.
• 43:56
  But
• 43:56
  for
• 43:56
  people
• 43:57
  who
• 43:57
  aren't
• 43:57
  familiar
• 43:58
  with
• 43:58
  attachment
• 43:59
  styles
• 43:59
  and
• 43:59
  the
• 43:59
  nuances
• 44:00
  of
• 44:00
  them,
• 44:01
  I
• 44:01
  would
• 44:01
  say
• 44:02
  avoidant
• 44:03
  is
• 44:03
  more.
• 44:05
  And
• 44:05
  everything's
• 44:06
  based
• 44:06
  out
• 44:06
  of
• 44:06
  anxiety.
• 44:07
  Right.
• 44:08
  And
• 44:08
  self
• 44:08
  protection.
• 44:09
  They're
• 44:09
  just
• 44:10
  different
• 44:10
  manifestations
• 44:11
  of
• 44:11
  it.
• 44:12
  So
• 44:12
  avoidant
• 44:13
  is
• 44:13
  more.
• 44:13
  I
• 44:14
  trust
• 44:14
  myself,
• 44:15
  but
• 44:15
  I
• 44:15
  don't
• 44:15
  trust
• 44:16
  other
• 44:16
  people.
• 44:16
  And
• 44:17
  so
• 44:17
  I'm
• 44:17
  going
• 44:17
  to
• 44:17
  keep
• 44:17
  them,
• 44:17
  I'm
• 44:18
  going
• 44:18
  to
• 44:18
  push
• 44:18
  them
• 44:18
  away
• 44:19
  or
• 44:19
  keep
• 44:19
  them
• 44:19
  at
• 44:19
  base,
• 44:20
  at
• 44:20
  bay,
• 44:20
  because
• 44:20
  that's
• 44:21
  how
• 44:21
  I
• 44:21
  will
• 44:21
  control
• 44:21
  the
• 44:22
  situation.
• 44:23
  Anxious
• 44:24
  is
• 44:24
  more.
• 44:25
  I
• 44:25
  trust
• 44:25
  other
• 44:25
  people,
• 44:26
  but
• 44:26
  I
• 44:26
  don't
• 44:26
  trust
• 44:27
  myself.
• 44:27
  And
• 44:27
  so
• 44:27
  I'm
• 44:28
  going
• 44:28
  to
• 44:28
  cling
• 44:28
  on
• 44:28
  to
• 44:29
  them
• 44:29
  and
• 44:30
  and
• 44:30
  assume
• 44:30
  their
• 44:31
  identity
• 44:32
  because
• 44:32
  I
• 44:33
  don't
• 44:33
  trust
• 44:33
  my
• 44:34
  own.
• 44:35
  And
• 44:35
  then
• 44:36
  disorganized
• 44:36
  is
• 44:37
  a
• 44:37
  combination
• 44:37
  of
• 44:38
  both
• 44:38
  of
• 44:38
  those.
• 44:38
  And
• 44:39
  it's
• 44:39
  usually
• 44:40
  based
• 44:40
  out
• 44:40
  of
• 44:40
  attachment
• 44:42
  traumas.
• 44:42
  Right?
• 44:43
  Yeah.
• 44:43
  Like
• 44:43
  trauma
• 44:44
  from
• 44:44
  childhood
• 44:45
  will
• 44:45
  breed
• 44:46
  those
• 44:46
  like
• 44:46
  really
• 44:47
  chaotic
• 44:47
  reactive
• 44:49
  dynamics.
• 44:50
  Yeah.
• 44:50
  So
• 44:51
  that
• 44:51
  was
• 44:51
  the
• 44:51
  oversimplification
• 44:52
  of
• 44:52
  it.
• 44:53
  That's
• 44:53
  really
• 44:53
  scary
• 44:54
  to
• 44:54
  think
• 44:54
  that,
• 44:55
  you
• 44:55
  know,
• 44:55
  if
• 44:55
  you
• 44:55
  do
• 44:56
  end
• 44:56
  up.
• 44:57
  If
• 44:57
  you
• 44:57
  are
• 44:57
  a
• 44:58
  secure
• 44:58
  person
• 44:58
  and
• 44:58
  you
• 44:59
  do
• 44:59
  end
• 44:59
  up
• 44:59
  marrying
• 45:00
  and
• 45:00
  loving
• 45:01
  someone
• 45:01
  who's
• 45:01
  not
• 45:02
  how
• 45:03
  really
• 45:04
  it's.
• 45:04
  That
• 45:04
  energy
• 45:05
  can
• 45:06
  shift
• 45:06
  you
• 45:07
  in
• 45:07
  a
• 45:07
  negative
• 45:07
  way
• 45:08
  if
• 45:08
  you've
• 45:08
  let
• 45:08
  it.
• 45:10
  That's
• 45:10
  really
• 45:11
  scary
• 45:11
  to
• 45:11
  think
• 45:11
  about.
• 45:12
  Yeah.
• 45:12
  Yeah.
• 45:13
  It
• 45:13
  was
• 45:14
  interesting.
• 45:14
  The
• 45:14
  thought
• 45:15
  that
• 45:15
  kind
• 45:15
  of
• 45:15
  came
• 45:15
  to
• 45:16
  my
• 45:16
  mind
• 45:16
  was
• 45:17
  because
• 45:17
  you
• 45:17
  were
• 45:17
  talking
• 45:17
  about
• 45:18
  the
• 45:18
  safe
• 45:18
  seemed
• 45:18
  soothed
• 45:19
  and
• 45:19
  secure.
• 45:20
  And
• 45:20
  I
• 45:20
  was
• 45:21
  thinking,
• 45:21
  you
• 45:21
  know,
• 45:21
  there
• 45:21
  are
• 45:22
  times
• 45:22
  when
• 45:22
  a
• 45:23
  partner,
• 45:24
  I
• 45:25
  have
• 45:25
  seen
• 45:26
  it
• 45:27
  where
• 45:28
  one
• 45:28
  of
• 45:28
  the
• 45:29
  partners
• 45:29
  may
• 45:30
  refuse
• 45:31
  to
• 45:31
  feel
• 45:31
  seen
• 45:32
  or
• 45:32
  safe
• 45:32
  or
• 45:33
  secure.
• 45:33
  And
• 45:33
  like
• 45:34
  everything
• 45:35
  you
• 45:35
  do
• 45:35
  to
• 45:35
  try
• 45:35
  to
• 45:36
  let
• 45:36
  them
• 45:36
  know
• 45:36
  you're
• 45:37
  seeing
• 45:37
  them
• 45:38
  or
• 45:38
  whatnot
• 45:38
  is,
• 45:39
  is,
• 45:39
  is
• 45:40
  kind
• 45:41
  of
• 45:41
  rebuffed,
• 45:41
  I
• 45:42
  guess.
• 45:42
  Avoidant.
• 45:43
  Yeah.
• 45:44
  And
• 45:44
  so
• 45:44
  I
• 45:44
  thought
• 45:45
  it
• 45:46
  kind
• 45:46
  of
• 45:46
  took
• 45:46
  me
• 45:46
  to
• 45:46
  what
• 45:47
  Sam
• 45:47
  had
• 45:47
  said
• 45:48
  anyway.
• 45:51
  Get
• 45:52
  some
• 45:52
  of
• 45:52
  those
• 45:52
  traits.
• 45:54
  Yeah.
• 45:54
  And
• 45:55
  I
• 45:55
  think
• 45:55
  it's
• 45:57
  when
• 45:57
  I
• 45:57
  do
• 45:57
  like
• 45:58
  premarital
• 45:58
  work
• 45:59
  with
• 45:59
  couples,
• 46:00
  like
• 46:00
  preparing
• 46:01
  them
• 46:01
  for
• 46:01
  marriage
• 46:02
  and
• 46:02
  what
• 46:02
  that
• 46:02
  means
• 46:02
  to
• 46:02
  them
• 46:03
  and
• 46:03
  defining
• 46:03
  what
• 46:03
  it,
• 46:04
  what
• 46:04
  their
• 46:04
  expectations
• 46:05
  are.
• 46:06
  I
• 46:06
  always,
• 46:07
  always
• 46:07
  include
• 46:08
  like
• 46:09
  the
• 46:10
  expectation
• 46:11
  of
• 46:13
  personal
• 46:13
  health,
• 46:13
  personal
• 46:14
  evolution.
• 46:14
  Right.
• 46:15
  Because
• 46:15
  your
• 46:15
  relationship
• 46:16
  are
• 46:16
  always
• 46:17
  maxed
• 46:18
  out.
• 46:18
  They
• 46:18
  are
• 46:18
  always
• 46:19
  capped
• 46:20
  at
• 46:20
  the
• 46:20
  individual
• 46:21
  counterparts
• 46:22
  level
• 46:23
  of
• 46:24
  like
• 46:24
  health,
• 46:25
  functioning,
• 46:26
  awareness.
• 46:27
  So
• 46:28
  like
• 46:28
  even
• 46:28
  if
• 46:29
  one
• 46:29
  person
• 46:29
  is
• 46:30
  really
• 46:30
  elevated
• 46:31
  in
• 46:31
  their
• 46:31
  like
• 46:32
  personal
• 46:32
  evolution
• 46:32
  and
• 46:33
  awareness,
• 46:33
  if
• 46:33
  their
• 46:34
  counterpart
• 46:34
  is
• 46:34
  way
• 46:35
  down
• 46:35
  here
• 46:35
  and
• 46:35
  hasn't
• 46:36
  done
• 46:36
  the
• 46:36
  work,
• 46:36
  the
• 46:37
  relationship
• 46:37
  is
• 46:38
  going
• 46:38
  to
• 46:38
  be
• 46:38
  kept
• 46:38
  down
• 46:39
  at
• 46:39
  that
• 46:39
  level.
• 46:40
  Which
• 46:40
  is
• 46:40
  really
• 46:41
  for
• 46:41
  some
• 46:41
  people.
• 46:42
  Yeah.
• 46:43
  And
• 46:43
  why
• 46:44
  it's
• 46:44
  important
• 46:44
  to
• 46:45
  like
• 46:45
  have
• 46:46
  those
• 46:46
  conversations
• 46:47
  with
• 46:47
  your
• 46:47
  partner
• 46:47
  early
• 46:48
  on
• 46:48
  to
• 46:48
  be
• 46:48
  like
• 46:49
  for
• 46:49
  the
• 46:50
  betterment
• 46:50
  of
• 46:51
  this
• 46:51
  relationship
• 46:52
  and
• 46:52
  for
• 46:52
  us
• 46:52
  to
• 46:52
  last
• 46:53
  long
• 46:54
  term
• 46:54
  in
• 46:54
  a
• 46:54
  happy
• 46:55
  dynamic,
• 46:56
  both
• 46:56
  of
• 46:56
  us
• 46:57
  have
• 46:57
  to
• 46:57
  put
• 46:57
  the
• 46:57
  work
• 46:57
  in.
• 46:58
  Both
• 46:58
  of
• 46:58
  us
• 46:59
  have
• 46:59
  to,
• 46:59
  you
• 46:59
  know,
• 47:00
  find
• 47:00
  a
• 47:00
  therapist,
• 47:01
  find
• 47:01
  a
• 47:01
  shaman,
• 47:02
  do
• 47:02
  acupuncture,
• 47:03
  eat
• 47:03
  healthy,
• 47:04
  work
• 47:04
  out,
• 47:04
  whatever,
• 47:05
  whatever.
• 47:06
  This
• 47:06
  works
• 47:07
  for
• 47:07
  you.
• 47:08
  It
• 47:08
  has
• 47:08
  to
• 47:09
  be
• 47:09
  a
• 47:09
  part
• 47:09
  of
• 47:09
  the
• 47:09
  mix.
• 47:10
  And
• 47:10
  if
• 47:10
  your
• 47:10
  goal
• 47:11
  is
• 47:11
  to
• 47:11
  have
• 47:11
  a
• 47:11
  good
• 47:11
  relationship.
• 47:12
  Yeah.
• 47:13
  I
• 47:13
  will
• 47:13
  say
• 47:14
  I
• 47:14
  personally
• 47:15
  have
• 47:15
  gone
• 47:15
  through,
• 47:16
  I
• 47:16
  think
• 47:16
  that
• 47:16
  drastic
• 47:17
  in
• 47:18
  the
• 47:18
  difference.
• 47:18
  And
• 47:19
  then
• 47:19
  I
• 47:19
  guess
• 47:20
  through
• 47:20
  individual
• 47:21
  therapy
• 47:22
  it's
• 47:22
  like,
• 47:23
  whoa,
• 47:24
  who
• 47:24
  would
• 47:24
  have
• 47:24
  thought
• 47:24
  the
• 47:25
  relationship
• 47:25
  could
• 47:25
  be
• 47:25
  like,
• 47:26
  so
• 47:27
  like
• 47:27
  more
• 47:28
  fulfilling
• 47:28
  and
• 47:29
  happy
• 47:29
  and,
• 47:31
  and
• 47:31
  I
• 47:31
  don't
• 47:31
  think,
• 47:33
  I
• 47:33
  don't
• 47:33
  know.
• 47:34
  I.
• 47:35
  I
• 47:35
  feel
• 47:35
  like
• 47:35
  it's
• 47:35
  hard
• 47:35
  to
• 47:36
  get
• 47:36
  out
• 47:36
  of
• 47:36
  that
• 47:36
  because
• 47:36
  you
• 47:37
  do
• 47:37
  want
• 47:37
  to
• 47:37
  be
• 47:37
  like,
• 47:37
  oh,
• 47:37
  I'm
• 47:38
  not
• 47:38
  the
• 47:38
  only
• 47:38
  one
• 47:38
  that
• 47:38
  like,
• 47:39
  has
• 47:39
  the,
• 47:40
  the
• 47:40
  problem
• 47:40
  and
• 47:40
  it
• 47:40
  wasn't
• 47:41
  me.
• 47:41
  But
• 47:43
  I
• 47:44
  don't
• 47:44
  know,
• 47:44
  it's.
• 47:46
  There's
• 47:46
  a
• 47:46
  lot
• 47:46
  of
• 47:47
  ego.
• 47:48
  Yes,
• 47:50
  Yes.
• 47:50
  I
• 47:51
  would
• 47:51
  say.
• 47:52
  Yeah,
• 47:53
  I,
• 47:53
  I
• 47:53
  think
• 47:53
  that's.
• 47:55
  This
• 47:55
  is
• 47:55
  always
• 47:55
  a
• 47:55
  little
• 47:55
  unnerving
• 47:56
  when
• 47:56
  people
• 47:56
  hear
• 47:57
  this,
• 47:57
  but
• 47:57
  like,
• 47:58
  the
• 47:58
  statistics
• 47:59
  of
• 47:59
  divorce
• 48:00
  for
• 48:00
  licensed
• 48:01
  marriage
• 48:02
  and
• 48:02
  family
• 48:02
  therapists
• 48:03
  or
• 48:03
  like,
• 48:03
  providers
• 48:04
  whose
• 48:04
  specialty
• 48:05
  it
• 48:05
  is
• 48:06
  for
• 48:06
  relationships
• 48:07
  are
• 48:07
  higher
• 48:08
  than
• 48:08
  the
• 48:08
  national
• 48:08
  average,
• 48:09
  not
• 48:09
  lower.
• 48:10
  Wow.
• 48:10
  Right.
• 48:11
  Because
• 48:12
  we
• 48:12
  are,
• 48:12
  we
• 48:13
  are
• 48:13
  for.
• 48:13
  We're
• 48:13
  in
• 48:14
  a
• 48:14
  field
• 48:14
  where
• 48:14
  we
• 48:14
  are
• 48:14
  forced
• 48:15
  to
• 48:15
  constantly,
• 48:16
  like,
• 48:17
  work
• 48:17
  on
• 48:17
  our
• 48:17
  own
• 48:18
  stuff
• 48:18
  to
• 48:18
  be
• 48:19
  ethical
• 48:19
  and
• 48:20
  good
• 48:20
  providers.
• 48:21
  Plus
• 48:21
  you
• 48:21
  have
• 48:21
  so
• 48:22
  many
• 48:22
  like,
• 48:23
  educational
• 48:23
  credits
• 48:24
  you
• 48:24
  have
• 48:24
  to
• 48:24
  do
• 48:24
  to
• 48:24
  maintain
• 48:25
  licensure.
• 48:26
  But
• 48:26
  if
• 48:27
  your
• 48:27
  partner
• 48:27
  is
• 48:27
  not
• 48:28
  growing
• 48:28
  at
• 48:28
  the
• 48:28
  same
• 48:29
  rate,
• 48:29
  it
• 48:29
  becomes,
• 48:30
  it
• 48:30
  starts
• 48:31
  to
• 48:31
  feel
• 48:31
  more
• 48:31
  like
• 48:32
  a
• 48:32
  parent
• 48:32
  child
• 48:32
  hierarchy.
• 48:33
  The
• 48:34
  farther
• 48:34
  you
• 48:34
  get
• 48:34
  away,
• 48:35
  the
• 48:35
  more
• 48:36
  you're
• 48:36
  aware
• 48:36
  of
• 48:37
  their,
• 48:37
  like,
• 48:38
  their
• 48:39
  wounds,
• 48:39
  their
• 48:40
  necessary
• 48:40
  healing.
• 48:41
  Sometimes
• 48:41
  you
• 48:42
  understand
• 48:42
  their
• 48:42
  emotions
• 48:43
  before
• 48:43
  they
• 48:44
  even
• 48:44
  have
• 48:44
  been
• 48:44
  able
• 48:45
  to,
• 48:45
  literally.
• 48:46
  Yeah.
• 48:46
  And
• 48:47
  it
• 48:47
  feels.
• 48:47
  That
• 48:47
  imbalance
• 48:48
  feels
• 48:48
  kind
• 48:48
  of
• 48:48
  yucky
• 48:49
  for
• 48:49
  all
• 48:49
  parties.
• 48:50
  It
• 48:50
  feels
• 48:50
  more
• 48:50
  like
• 48:50
  a
• 48:51
  parent
• 48:51
  child,
• 48:51
  which
• 48:51
  is
• 48:52
  not
• 48:52
  sexy.
• 48:52
  That's
• 48:53
  true.
• 48:53
  So
• 48:53
  is
• 48:54
  moral
• 48:54
  of
• 48:54
  the
• 48:54
  story,
• 48:54
  like,
• 48:55
  when
• 48:55
  you're
• 48:55
  not
• 48:55
  seeing
• 48:55
  eye
• 48:56
  to
• 48:56
  eye
• 48:56
  and
• 48:57
  like,
• 48:57
  just
• 48:57
  see
• 48:57
  a
• 48:58
  therapist,
• 48:58
  is
• 48:58
  that
• 48:58
  like
• 48:58
  the
• 48:59
  only
• 48:59
  resolution,
• 48:59
  really?
• 49:02
  I
• 49:03
  mean,
• 49:03
  I
• 49:03
  think
• 49:03
  if
• 49:03
  you
• 49:03
  have
• 49:04
  really
• 49:04
  effective
• 49:05
  repair
• 49:06
  processes
• 49:06
  and
• 49:07
  you
• 49:07
  know
• 49:07
  how
• 49:07
  to
• 49:08
  drop
• 49:08
  out
• 49:08
  of
• 49:09
  the
• 49:09
  situational,
• 49:11
  like,
• 49:11
  content
• 49:12
  and
• 49:12
  context
• 49:13
  and
• 49:13
  into
• 49:13
  the
• 49:14
  core
• 49:14
  emotional
• 49:14
  need.
• 49:15
  Yeah.
• 49:16
  You
• 49:16
  can
• 49:16
  do
• 49:16
  that
• 49:16
  on
• 49:17
  your
• 49:17
  own.
• 49:17
  Right.
• 49:18
  It's.
• 49:19
  It's
• 49:19
  never
• 49:19
  about
• 49:20
  the
• 49:20
  dishes.
• 49:20
  Ever.
• 49:21
  It's
• 49:21
  never
• 49:22
  about
• 49:22
  the
• 49:22
  dishes.
• 49:23
  It's
• 49:23
  about
• 49:23
  feeling
• 49:24
  unseen
• 49:25
  for
• 49:25
  your
• 49:25
  contributions
• 49:26
  in
• 49:26
  the
• 49:26
  relationship.
• 49:27
  It's
• 49:28
  about
• 49:28
  feeling
• 49:29
  feelings
• 49:30
  of
• 49:30
  inequality
• 49:30
  or
• 49:31
  unfairness.
• 49:32
  It's
• 49:32
  about
• 49:34
  like
• 49:34
  feeling
• 49:35
  betrayed.
• 49:35
  There's
• 49:36
  always
• 49:36
  core
• 49:37
  stuff.
• 49:37
  If
• 49:38
  you
• 49:38
  don't
• 49:38
  learn
• 49:38
  how
• 49:38
  to
• 49:39
  drop
• 49:39
  right
• 49:39
  into
• 49:40
  that
• 49:40
  conversation
• 49:41
  and
• 49:41
  express
• 49:41
  your
• 49:42
  needs,
• 49:43
  then,
• 49:43
  yeah,
• 49:43
  you're
• 49:43
  going
• 49:44
  to
• 49:44
  need
• 49:44
  a
• 49:44
  third
• 49:44
  party
• 49:45
  to
• 49:45
  mediate
• 49:45
  that
• 49:46
  conversation.
• 49:46
  But
• 49:47
  that's
• 49:47
  doable.
• 49:47
  It
• 49:48
  just
• 49:48
  requires
• 49:48
  you
• 49:48
  to
• 49:48
  put
• 49:48
  your
• 49:49
  ego
• 49:49
  to
• 49:49
  the
• 49:49
  side
• 49:50
  and
• 49:50
  step
• 49:50
  into
• 49:50
  vulnerability,
• 49:51
  which
• 49:51
  is
• 49:52
  sometimes
• 49:52
  the
• 49:52
  hardest
• 49:53
  part.
• 49:53
  Right?
• 49:54
  Yeah.
• 49:55
  Yeah.
• 49:56
  Stephanie,
• 49:56
  you
• 49:58
  actually
• 49:58
  just
• 49:59
  a
• 49:59
  few
• 49:59
  moments
• 49:59
  ago
• 50:00
  taught
• 50:01
  me
• 50:02
  that
• 50:02
  there
• 50:03
  are
• 50:03
  more
• 50:04
  than
• 50:04
  one
• 50:04
  reason
• 50:05
  to
• 50:05
  have
• 50:05
  sex.
• 50:05
  And
• 50:06
  it's
• 50:06
  not
• 50:06
  just
• 50:07
  to
• 50:07
  make
• 50:07
  babies.
• 50:09
  100%.
• 50:10
  Yeah.
• 50:11
  There's
• 50:12
  so
• 50:12
  many.
• 50:13
  Some
• 50:14
  are
• 50:14
  unhealthy.
• 50:14
  Right.
• 50:15
  Like,
• 50:15
  to
• 50:15
  placate
• 50:16
  or
• 50:16
  appease
• 50:16
  someone
• 50:16
  because
• 50:17
  they're
• 50:17
  annoying
• 50:17
  you
• 50:18
  is
• 50:18
  not
• 50:18
  a
• 50:18
  good
• 50:19
  reason
• 50:19
  to
• 50:19
  have
• 50:19
  sex.
• 50:20
  But
• 50:21
  outside
• 50:22
  of
• 50:22
  just
• 50:23
  like
• 50:23
  feeding
• 50:24
  and
• 50:24
  reinforcing
• 50:25
  the
• 50:25
  intimate
• 50:26
  bond
• 50:26
  with
• 50:26
  your
• 50:26
  partner
• 50:27
  or
• 50:27
  procreating
• 50:29
  healthy
• 50:29
  examples
• 50:30
  of
• 50:30
  reasons
• 50:30
  to
• 50:31
  have
• 50:31
  sex
• 50:31
  include
• 50:33
  to
• 50:34
  organically
• 50:35
  improve
• 50:35
  your
• 50:35
  hormone
• 50:36
  production.
• 50:36
  Which
• 50:37
  means,
• 50:37
  like,
• 50:38
  the.
• 50:38
  More.
• 50:38
  There
• 50:39
  are
• 50:39
  studies
• 50:39
  out
• 50:39
  there
• 50:39
  that
• 50:40
  show
• 50:41
  you
• 50:41
  can
• 50:41
  stave
• 50:42
  off
• 50:42
  the
• 50:43
  onset
• 50:43
  of
• 50:43
  menopause
• 50:44
  if
• 50:45
  you
• 50:45
  have
• 50:45
  sex
• 50:46
  two
• 50:46
  to
• 50:46
  three
• 50:46
  times
• 50:47
  per
• 50:47
  week.
• 50:48
  Wow.
• 50:49
  What
• 50:49
  if
• 50:49
  you
• 50:50
  can't
• 50:50
  have
• 50:50
  sex?
• 50:50
  Do
• 50:51
  you
• 50:51
  just
• 50:51
  masturbate?
• 50:53
  Sorry,
• 50:53
  I'm.
• 50:54
  Seriously.
• 50:55
  It
• 50:55
  does
• 50:55
  the
• 50:55
  same
• 50:56
  thing.
• 50:56
  If
• 50:56
  you're
• 50:56
  activating
• 50:57
  those
• 50:57
  reproductive
• 50:58
  functions
• 50:58
  and
• 50:59
  flooding
• 50:59
  your
• 50:59
  body
• 51:00
  with
• 51:00
  the
• 51:00
  sex
• 51:00
  hormones,
• 51:01
  your
• 51:02
  body,
• 51:02
  you're
• 51:02
  giving
• 51:03
  the
• 51:03
  feedback
• 51:03
  communication
• 51:04
  to
• 51:04
  your
• 51:05
  body
• 51:05
  that
• 51:05
  you're
• 51:05
  still
• 51:06
  using
• 51:06
  and
• 51:06
  therefore
• 51:07
  still
• 51:07
  need
• 51:07
  these
• 51:08
  processes.
• 51:09
  So
• 51:09
  it's
• 51:09
  going
• 51:09
  to
• 51:09
  keep
• 51:09
  producing
• 51:10
  sex
• 51:11
  hormones
• 51:11
  for
• 51:11
  you
• 51:12
  rather
• 51:12
  than
• 51:12
  kill
• 51:13
  them
• 51:13
  all.
• 51:14
  I
• 51:14
  didn't
• 51:14
  know
• 51:14
  that.
• 51:15
  That
• 51:15
  is,
• 51:15
  like,
• 51:15
  who
• 51:15
  would
• 51:16
  have
• 51:16
  thought?
• 51:17
  But
• 51:18
  it
• 51:18
  makes
• 51:18
  so
• 51:18
  much
• 51:18
  sense.
• 51:19
  It's
• 51:19
  like,
• 51:20
  of
• 51:20
  course
• 51:20
  your
• 51:20
  body
• 51:21
  is
• 51:21
  gonna
• 51:22
  try
• 51:22
  to
• 51:22
  keep
• 51:22
  itself
• 51:23
  in
• 51:23
  the
• 51:23
  state
• 51:23
  that.
• 51:26
  Yeah,
• 51:26
  like,
• 51:26
  if
• 51:27
  you're
• 51:27
  saying,
• 51:27
  hey,
• 51:27
  like
• 51:28
  you
• 51:28
  said,
• 51:28
  I'm
• 51:28
  losing
• 51:28
  these
• 51:29
  hormones.
• 51:29
  Yeah,
• 51:30
  exactly,
• 51:31
  exactly.
• 51:33
  There
• 51:34
  have
• 51:34
  also
• 51:34
  been
• 51:34
  studies
• 51:35
  done
• 51:36
  that
• 51:37
  for,
• 51:37
  like,
• 51:38
  pain
• 51:38
  response,
• 51:39
  pain
• 51:39
  management.
• 51:40
  Sorry,
• 51:40
  if
• 51:40
  you
• 51:40
  hear
• 51:41
  chickens
• 51:41
  in
• 51:41
  the
• 51:41
  background,
• 51:42
  that's
• 51:42
  just
• 51:42
  Hawaii.
• 51:43
  I
• 51:43
  love
• 51:43
  that.
• 51:46
  For
• 51:47
  pain
• 51:47
  management,
• 51:48
  we.
• 51:48
  There
• 51:48
  have
• 51:49
  been
• 51:49
  really,
• 51:49
  really
• 51:49
  effective
• 51:50
  studies
• 51:50
  that
• 51:50
  show
• 51:52
  sex,
• 51:52
  like
• 51:52
  orgasm
• 51:53
  is
• 51:54
  equally
• 51:54
  as
• 51:55
  effective
• 51:55
  at
• 51:55
  treating
• 51:56
  migraine
• 51:56
  pain
• 51:57
  than
• 51:58
  traditional
• 51:58
  like
• 51:59
  triptans,
• 52:01
  which
• 52:01
  is
• 52:01
  amazing.
• 52:02
  So
• 52:02
  if
• 52:02
  you're
• 52:03
  feeling
• 52:03
  pain,
• 52:04
  which
• 52:04
  is
• 52:04
  interesting
• 52:05
  because
• 52:05
  a
• 52:05
  lot
• 52:05
  of
• 52:05
  people
• 52:05
  come
• 52:06
  into
• 52:06
  my
• 52:06
  office
• 52:06
  and
• 52:06
  they're
• 52:07
  like,
• 52:07
  I
• 52:07
  have
• 52:08
  a
• 52:08
  lot
• 52:08
  of
• 52:08
  fibromyalgia.
• 52:09
  I
• 52:09
  have
• 52:09
  migraines.
• 52:10
  I
• 52:10
  have
• 52:11
  these,
• 52:11
  like,
• 52:12
  stomach
• 52:13
  cramps.
• 52:13
  I'm
• 52:14
  just
• 52:14
  not.
• 52:14
  If
• 52:14
  I'm
• 52:15
  feeling
• 52:15
  physically
• 52:15
  uncomfortable,
• 52:16
  I
• 52:16
  don't
• 52:16
  want
• 52:17
  to
• 52:17
  have
• 52:17
  sex.
• 52:18
  And
• 52:18
  I
• 52:18
  can
• 52:19
  understand,
• 52:20
  like,
• 52:20
  I
• 52:20
  have
• 52:21
  a
• 52:21
  lot
• 52:21
  of
• 52:21
  medical
• 52:21
  conditions
• 52:22
  as
• 52:22
  well.
• 52:22
  I
• 52:23
  can
• 52:23
  certainly
• 52:23
  understand
• 52:24
  that
• 52:24
  initial,
• 52:24
  like,
• 52:25
  you
• 52:25
  know,
• 52:25
  revolting,
• 52:26
  again,
• 52:27
  physical.
• 52:29
  But
• 52:30
  after
• 52:30
  the
• 52:31
  sex,
• 52:31
  after
• 52:32
  the
• 52:32
  post
• 52:32
  orgasm,
• 52:34
  your
• 52:34
  pain
• 52:35
  levels
• 52:35
  are
• 52:36
  objectively
• 52:37
  less
• 52:38
  than
• 52:38
  they
• 52:38
  were
• 52:38
  beforehand,
• 52:39
  which
• 52:40
  is
• 52:40
  pretty
• 52:40
  amazing,
• 52:41
  right?
• 52:41
  And
• 52:41
  that's
• 52:42
  free.
• 52:42
  That's
• 52:42
  like,
• 52:43
  no,
• 52:43
  no
• 52:44
  negative
• 52:44
  side
• 52:44
  effects
• 52:45
  from,
• 52:45
  you
• 52:45
  know,
• 52:45
  medications.
• 52:46
  It's.
• 52:46
  It's
• 52:47
  just
• 52:47
  something
• 52:47
  cool
• 52:47
  that
• 52:48
  you
• 52:48
  can
• 52:48
  do
• 52:48
  for
• 52:48
  your
• 52:49
  body
• 52:49
  when
• 52:49
  your
• 52:49
  body
• 52:50
  needs
• 52:50
  it.
• 52:51
  Yeah.
• 52:51
  So
• 52:51
  I
• 52:51
  get
• 52:52
  migraines
• 52:52
  a
• 52:52
  lot.
• 52:53
  And
• 52:54
  there
• 52:54
  was
• 52:54
  a
• 52:55
  time
• 52:55
  like
• 52:55
  a
• 52:55
  few
• 52:55
  months
• 52:56
  ago
• 52:57
  and
• 52:58
  my
• 52:58
  husband
• 52:59
  was
• 52:59
  like,
• 53:00
  well,
• 53:00
  we
• 53:00
  should
• 53:01
  have
• 53:01
  sex
• 53:01
  because
• 53:02
  that.
• 53:02
  That'll
• 53:02
  help
• 53:03
  your
• 53:03
  headache.
• 53:03
  And
• 53:03
  we
• 53:03
  were
• 53:04
  laughing
• 53:04
  like,
• 53:04
  ha,
• 53:05
  ha,
• 53:05
  ha.
• 53:05
  Because
• 53:05
  usually
• 53:06
  that's
• 53:06
  the
• 53:06
  joke.
• 53:06
  I
• 53:07
  have
• 53:07
  a
• 53:07
  headache.
• 53:07
  I
• 53:07
  don't
• 53:07
  want
• 53:07
  to
• 53:07
  do
• 53:08
  it.
• 53:08
  Right.
• 53:08
  But
• 53:10
  it
• 53:10
  did,
• 53:11
  really,
• 53:12
  in
• 53:12
  my
• 53:12
  experience.
• 53:13
  Like,
• 53:13
  I
• 53:13
  feel
• 53:13
  like
• 53:14
  it
• 53:14
  only
• 53:14
  alleviates
• 53:15
  it
• 53:15
  for
• 53:15
  like
• 53:17
  five
• 53:17
  minutes
• 53:17
  and
• 53:18
  then
• 53:18
  it's
• 53:18
  like,
• 53:18
  back.
• 53:19
  Right.
• 53:19
  Oh,
• 53:20
  okay.
• 53:20
  I
• 53:20
  mean,
• 53:20
  no.
• 53:21
  I
• 53:21
  don't
• 53:21
  know.
• 53:21
  I'm
• 53:21
  just
• 53:22
  saying.
• 53:22
  Sorry,
• 53:22
  I
• 53:22
  don't
• 53:23
  know
• 53:23
  why
• 53:23
  I
• 53:23
  said.
• 53:23
  Right.
• 53:23
  I
• 53:23
  was
• 53:24
  trying
• 53:24
  to
• 53:24
  hear
• 53:24
  you.
• 53:24
  I
• 53:25
  wanted
• 53:25
  you
• 53:25
  to
• 53:25
  feel
• 53:25
  heard.
• 53:26
  Thank
• 53:26
  you.
• 53:27
  I
• 53:27
  feel
• 53:28
  heard
• 53:28
  and
• 53:28
  I
• 53:29
  feel
• 53:29
  related
• 53:30
  with.
• 53:32
  I'm
• 53:32
  so
• 53:32
  sorry.
• 53:33
  Like,
• 53:33
  right.
• 53:34
  No,
• 53:35
  but
• 53:35
  for
• 53:35
  me
• 53:36
  it
• 53:36
  helped.
• 53:37
  Yeah.
• 53:38
  Yeah.
• 53:39
  It
• 53:39
  really
• 53:39
  depends.
• 53:39
  Everybody's
• 53:40
  biochemistry
• 53:41
  is
• 53:41
  different.
• 53:42
  Like,
• 53:42
  like
• 53:43
  how?
• 53:43
  However
• 53:43
  much
• 53:45
  like
• 53:45
  phenylethylalamine
• 53:47
  is
• 53:47
  flooding
• 53:47
  your
• 53:47
  system,
• 53:48
  for
• 53:49
  some
• 53:49
  people
• 53:49
  it's
• 53:49
  very
• 53:50
  little.
• 53:50
  For
• 53:50
  other
• 53:51
  people
• 53:51
  it's
• 53:51
  a
• 53:52
  lot
• 53:52
  post
• 53:52
  orgasm.
• 53:53
  I've
• 53:53
  never
• 53:54
  heard
• 53:54
  that
• 53:54
  word
• 53:54
  phenylethylamine.
• 53:56
  Oh,
• 53:57
  pea,
• 53:58
  you
• 53:58
  probably
• 53:58
  heard
• 53:58
  that
• 53:59
  it's
• 53:59
  in
• 53:59
  like
• 53:59
  chocolate.
• 54:00
  That's
• 54:00
  why
• 54:00
  people
• 54:00
  are
• 54:01
  chocoholics,
• 54:01
  because
• 54:02
  it
• 54:02
  feels
• 54:02
  addictive.
• 54:03
  Okay.
• 54:03
  PEA
• 54:04
  is
• 54:04
  the
• 54:04
  sex
• 54:04
  hormone
• 54:05
  that's
• 54:05
  flooded
• 54:05
  with
• 54:06
  like
• 54:06
  novelty.
• 54:07
  So
• 54:07
  think
• 54:08
  of
• 54:08
  new
• 54:08
  relationship
• 54:09
  energy,
• 54:09
  the
• 54:09
  honeymoon
• 54:10
  phase.
• 54:10
  That's
• 54:11
  all
• 54:11
  PEA
• 54:12
  Right.
• 54:12
  Nice.
• 54:13
  Okay.
• 54:14
  Yeah.
• 54:14
  So
• 54:14
  it
• 54:15
  really
• 54:15
  just
• 54:15
  depends
• 54:15
  on
• 54:16
  what
• 54:16
  hormones
• 54:16
  are
• 54:17
  flooding
• 54:17
  your
• 54:17
  brain
• 54:18
  at
• 54:18
  any
• 54:18
  given
• 54:19
  time.
• 54:19
  And
• 54:20
  sex
• 54:20
  can
• 54:20
  be
• 54:20
  a
• 54:21
  huge
• 54:21
  driver
• 54:22
  for
• 54:22
  those
• 54:22
  floods.
• 54:23
  But
• 54:23
  the
• 54:24
  amount
• 54:24
  of
• 54:24
  sex
• 54:25
  hormones
• 54:25
  that
• 54:25
  are,
• 54:25
  that
• 54:26
  are
• 54:26
  released
• 54:26
  for
• 54:26
  each
• 54:27
  of
• 54:27
  those
• 54:27
  experience
• 54:27
  kind
• 54:28
  of
• 54:28
  differs
• 54:28
  from
• 54:28
  person
• 54:29
  to
• 54:29
  person.
• 54:30
  Okay.
• 54:31
  At
• 54:31
  the
• 54:32
  very
• 54:32
  least
• 54:33
  physical
• 54:33
  touch.
• 54:33
  And
• 54:34
  it
• 54:34
  doesn't
• 54:34
  have
• 54:34
  to
• 54:34
  be
• 54:35
  like
• 54:36
  orgasm
• 54:36
  dependent
• 54:37
  necessarily,
• 54:38
  but
• 54:38
  physical
• 54:38
  touch,
• 54:38
  we're
• 54:39
  very
• 54:39
  social
• 54:40
  creatures.
• 54:40
  Any
• 54:41
  kind
• 54:41
  of
• 54:41
  physical
• 54:41
  touch
• 54:42
  is
• 54:42
  going
• 54:42
  to
• 54:42
  calm
• 54:43
  the
• 54:43
  nervous
• 54:43
  system
• 54:44
  and
• 54:44
  help
• 54:45
  like
• 54:45
  reduce
• 54:46
  pain
• 54:46
  responses.
• 54:47
  It's
• 54:48
  just,
• 54:48
  it
• 54:48
  has
• 54:48
  to
• 54:48
  be
• 54:49
  done
• 54:49
  like
• 54:49
  if
• 54:50
  you
• 54:50
  have
• 54:50
  certain
• 54:50
  pain
• 54:50
  points,
• 54:51
  you
• 54:51
  obviously
• 54:51
  don't
• 54:51
  want
• 54:52
  to
• 54:52
  be
• 54:52
  doing
• 54:52
  like
• 54:53
  an
• 54:54
  untrained
• 54:54
  hard
• 54:55
  massage
• 54:55
  on
• 54:55
  those
• 54:56
  pain
• 54:56
  points
• 54:56
  with
• 54:57
  your
• 54:57
  partner.
• 54:57
  But
• 54:57
  you
• 54:58
  know,
• 54:58
  be
• 54:58
  mindful
• 54:58
  that
• 54:59
  physical
• 54:59
  touch
• 54:59
  in
• 54:59
  any
• 55:00
  kind
• 55:00
  of
• 55:00
  capacity
• 55:01
  really
• 55:01
  does
• 55:01
  flood
• 55:02
  your
• 55:02
  brain
• 55:02
  with
• 55:03
  feel
• 55:03
  good
• 55:03
  hormones
• 55:04
  that
• 55:04
  counteract
• 55:04
  whatever
• 55:05
  negative
• 55:05
  experiences
• 55:06
  you're
• 55:06
  having.
• 55:07
  Okay.
• 55:08
  Yeah.
• 55:08
  There's
• 55:08
  so
• 55:08
  many
• 55:09
  reasons,
• 55:10
  so
• 55:10
  many
• 55:10
  really
• 55:11
  good
• 55:11
  reasons
• 55:11
  for
• 55:12
  sex
• 55:13
  for
• 55:13
  a
• 55:13
  good
• 55:14
  percentage.
• 55:14
  I
• 55:14
  believe
• 55:15
  the
• 55:15
  statistic
• 55:16
  is
• 55:17
  18%
• 55:18
  from
• 55:18
  Rosemary
• 55:19
  Mason's
• 55:20
  like
• 55:20
  research
• 55:21
  on
• 55:22
  female
• 55:22
  sexual
• 55:23
  cycle.
• 55:24
  Okay.
• 55:24
  15
• 55:25
  to
• 55:25
  18%
• 55:26
  of
• 55:26
  the
• 55:27
  population,
• 55:27
  women.
• 55:27
  And
• 55:28
  like
• 55:28
  predominantly
• 55:29
  women,
• 55:29
  the
• 55:29
  physical,
• 55:31
  the
• 55:31
  psychological
• 55:32
  desire
• 55:32
  and
• 55:32
  the
• 55:32
  physical
• 55:33
  like
• 55:33
  physiological
• 55:34
  arousal,
• 55:35
  those
• 55:36
  stages
• 55:36
  are
• 55:37
  flip
• 55:37
  flopped.
• 55:37
  Which
• 55:38
  means
• 55:39
  before
• 55:39
  your
• 55:39
  brain
• 55:40
  can
• 55:40
  tell
• 55:40
  you
• 55:41
  that
• 55:41
  you
• 55:41
  want
• 55:41
  and
• 55:41
  are
• 55:42
  interested
• 55:42
  and
• 55:42
  open
• 55:43
  to
• 55:43
  sex
• 55:43
  sex,
• 55:44
  you
• 55:45
  need
• 55:45
  to
• 55:45
  have
• 55:45
  some
• 55:46
  level
• 55:46
  of
• 55:46
  stimulation
• 55:47
  to
• 55:47
  communicate
• 55:48
  to
• 55:48
  your
• 55:48
  brain
• 55:48
  that
• 55:49
  you
• 55:49
  might
• 55:49
  be
• 55:49
  interested.
• 55:50
  So
• 55:52
  for
• 55:52
  men
• 55:53
  it's
• 55:53
  reversed.
• 55:54
  And
• 55:54
  that
• 55:54
  was
• 55:54
  the
• 55:55
  traditional
• 55:55
  like
• 55:56
  old
• 55:56
  school
• 55:56
  cycle
• 55:57
  because
• 55:57
  of
• 55:57
  course
• 55:57
  it
• 55:58
  was
• 55:58
  based
• 55:58
  off
• 55:58
  of
• 55:58
  like
• 55:59
  male
• 55:59
  sexual
• 56:00
  response,
• 56:02
  which
• 56:03
  is
• 56:03
  always
• 56:03
  going
• 56:04
  to
• 56:04
  be
• 56:04
  like
• 56:04
  physio,
• 56:05
  I'm
• 56:05
  sorry,
• 56:05
  psychological
• 56:06
  desire
• 56:06
  that
• 56:07
  activates
• 56:08
  like
• 56:09
  you
• 56:09
  know,
• 56:09
  flooding
• 56:10
  of
• 56:12
  blood
• 56:13
  to
• 56:13
  the,
• 56:13
  to
• 56:13
  the
• 56:13
  reproductive
• 56:14
  area,
• 56:14
  which
• 56:14
  is
• 56:15
  what
• 56:15
  physiological
• 56:16
  arousal
• 56:16
  is.
• 56:17
  Okay.
• 56:18
  For
• 56:19
  women
• 56:19
  a
• 56:19
  lot
• 56:20
  of
• 56:20
  times
• 56:20
  there's
• 56:20
  A
• 56:20
  reverse.
• 56:21
  So
• 56:21
  there
• 56:21
  needs
• 56:22
  to
• 56:22
  be,
• 56:22
  like,
• 56:22
  some
• 56:22
  buffer
• 56:23
  step
• 56:24
  for
• 56:24
  you
• 56:24
  if
• 56:24
  your
• 56:24
  partner
• 56:25
  is
• 56:25
  reaching
• 56:25
  out
• 56:26
  for
• 56:26
  a
• 56:26
  bid
• 56:26
  for
• 56:26
  connection
• 56:27
  and
• 56:27
  is
• 56:27
  like,
• 56:28
  hey,
• 56:28
  would
• 56:28
  you
• 56:28
  like
• 56:29
  to
• 56:29
  connect?
• 56:29
  I
• 56:30
  would.
• 56:30
  I'm.
• 56:30
  I'm
• 56:30
  missing
• 56:31
  you.
• 56:31
  Right?
• 56:32
  Yeah.
• 56:33
  Before
• 56:34
  saying,
• 56:35
  no,
• 56:35
  absolutely
• 56:36
  not.
• 56:36
  Maybe
• 56:36
  another
• 56:36
  time,
• 56:37
  maybe
• 56:37
  another
• 56:37
  day.
• 56:39
  Because
• 56:39
  you
• 56:39
  don't
• 56:40
  have
• 56:40
  that
• 56:40
  desire.
• 56:41
  You
• 56:41
  want
• 56:41
  to
• 56:41
  buffer
• 56:42
  steps.
• 56:42
  You're
• 56:42
  not
• 56:42
  saying
• 56:43
  yes.
• 56:43
  Right.
• 56:44
  You're
• 56:44
  saying,
• 56:45
  I
• 56:45
  would
• 56:45
  be
• 56:45
  interested
• 56:46
  in
• 56:46
  maybe
• 56:46
  you
• 56:46
  rubbing
• 56:47
  my
• 56:47
  forearm
• 56:47
  for
• 56:48
  a
• 56:48
  couple
• 56:48
  minutes
• 56:48
  while
• 56:48
  we're
• 56:49
  sitting
• 56:49
  on
• 56:49
  this
• 56:49
  couch.
• 56:50
  Or
• 56:50
  maybe
• 56:51
  you
• 56:51
  can,
• 56:51
  like,
• 56:52
  I
• 56:52
  don't
• 56:52
  know.
• 56:53
  I
• 56:53
  hear
• 56:53
  feet
• 56:53
  rubs
• 56:54
  a
• 56:54
  lot.
• 56:54
  I
• 56:55
  hear
• 56:55
  head
• 56:55
  scratches,
• 56:56
  like,
• 56:57
  you
• 56:57
  know,
• 56:57
  scalp
• 56:57
  massages.
• 56:59
  Some
• 56:59
  level
• 56:59
  of
• 57:00
  physical
• 57:00
  touch
• 57:01
  to
• 57:01
  stimulate
• 57:03
  so
• 57:03
  that
• 57:03
  you
• 57:03
  have
• 57:04
  the
• 57:04
  means
• 57:04
  to
• 57:04
  evaluate
• 57:05
  if
• 57:05
  you're
• 57:05
  interested
• 57:06
  or
• 57:06
  not.
• 57:06
  Does
• 57:06
  that
• 57:06
  make
• 57:07
  sense?
• 57:07
  Wow.
• 57:07
  Instead
• 57:08
  of
• 57:08
  just
• 57:08
  shutting
• 57:08
  the
• 57:09
  other
• 57:09
  person
• 57:09
  down.
• 57:10
  Yeah.
• 57:10
  Yeah.
• 57:11
  Okay.
• 57:11
  I
• 57:11
  like
• 57:12
  that
• 57:12
  a
• 57:12
  lot
• 57:12
  because
• 57:14
  I
• 57:14
  feel
• 57:15
  like
• 57:15
  I'm
• 57:15
  one
• 57:15
  of
• 57:15
  those
• 57:15
  people
• 57:16
  that
• 57:17
  maybe
• 57:17
  I'm
• 57:17
  just
• 57:17
  always
• 57:18
  flooded
• 57:18
  down
• 57:18
  there
• 57:18
  because
• 57:20
  it's
• 57:20
  easy
• 57:21
  for
• 57:21
  me
• 57:21
  to
• 57:22
  say,
• 57:22
  sure,
• 57:22
  let's
• 57:23
  go.
• 57:23
  But
• 57:24
  I
• 57:24
  have
• 57:25
  had
• 57:25
  partners
• 57:25
  who
• 57:26
  do
• 57:27
  not
• 57:27
  have
• 57:28
  that
• 57:28
  kind
• 57:28
  of
• 57:28
  drive.
• 57:30
  And
• 57:30
  it's
• 57:31
  like,
• 57:31
  okay,
• 57:31
  well,
• 57:31
  wait,
• 57:32
  don't
• 57:32
  say
• 57:32
  no
• 57:32
  yet.
• 57:33
  Let's
• 57:33
  do
• 57:33
  a
• 57:33
  little
• 57:34
  bit
• 57:34
  of.
• 57:34
  Of
• 57:35
  just
• 57:35
  some
• 57:35
  touching.
• 57:36
  Nice.
• 57:37
  Like,
• 57:37
  consensually.
• 57:38
  Right.
• 57:39
  But
• 57:39
  I
• 57:39
  think
• 57:39
  that's
• 57:40
  nice.
• 57:40
  Okay.
• 57:41
  Yeah.
• 57:42
  And
• 57:43
  for.
• 57:43
  For
• 57:43
  the
• 57:43
  record,
• 57:44
  any
• 57:44
  bid
• 57:45
  for
• 57:45
  connection
• 57:46
  should
• 57:46
  always
• 57:46
  be
• 57:47
  responded
• 57:47
  to.
• 57:47
  It
• 57:48
  doesn't
• 57:48
  have
• 57:48
  to
• 57:48
  be
• 57:48
  responded
• 57:48
  to
• 57:49
  in
• 57:49
  the
• 57:49
  exact
• 57:49
  way
• 57:49
  that
• 57:50
  it
• 57:50
  was
• 57:50
  requested.
• 57:51
  But
• 57:51
  if
• 57:51
  your
• 57:51
  partner
• 57:52
  is
• 57:52
  reaching
• 57:52
  out
• 57:52
  for
• 57:53
  connection,
• 57:54
  it's.
• 57:54
  It's
• 57:55
  considered
• 57:55
  an
• 57:55
  attachment
• 57:56
  injury
• 57:56
  if
• 57:57
  you
• 57:57
  just
• 57:57
  say
• 57:57
  no
• 57:57
  and
• 57:58
  then
• 57:58
  walk
• 57:58
  away.
• 57:59
  Right.
• 57:59
  There
• 57:59
  should
• 58:00
  always
• 58:00
  be
• 58:00
  some
• 58:01
  level
• 58:01
  of
• 58:01
  negotiation
• 58:02
  for
• 58:02
  you
• 58:02
  to
• 58:02
  be
• 58:03
  like.
• 58:03
  Like,
• 58:03
  I
• 58:04
  see
• 58:04
  that
• 58:04
  you're
• 58:05
  wanting
• 58:05
  to
• 58:05
  connect,
• 58:06
  and
• 58:06
  I
• 58:06
  love
• 58:06
  that
• 58:06
  you
• 58:07
  want
• 58:07
  to
• 58:07
  connect
• 58:07
  with
• 58:07
  me.
• 58:08
  I
• 58:09
  am
• 58:09
  not
• 58:09
  interested
• 58:09
  in
• 58:10
  connecting
• 58:10
  in
• 58:10
  that
• 58:10
  particular
• 58:11
  way.
• 58:11
  But
• 58:11
  what
• 58:12
  I
• 58:12
  can
• 58:12
  offer
• 58:13
  is
• 58:13
  this
• 58:14
  or
• 58:14
  this.
• 58:14
  What
• 58:15
  are
• 58:15
  you
• 58:15
  looking
• 58:15
  for?
• 58:16
  You
• 58:16
  know
• 58:16
  what
• 58:16
  I
• 58:17
  mean?
• 58:17
  Like,
• 58:17
  there
• 58:17
  has
• 58:17
  to
• 58:18
  be
• 58:18
  a
• 58:18
  re.
• 58:18
  Every.
• 58:19
  A
• 58:19
  response
• 58:20
  and
• 58:20
  engagement
• 58:21
  back.
• 58:21
  Otherwise,
• 58:22
  the
• 58:22
  energy
• 58:23
  that
• 58:23
  they've
• 58:23
  just
• 58:23
  contributed
• 58:24
  for
• 58:24
  the
• 58:24
  relationship
• 58:25
  falls
• 58:26
  immediately
• 58:26
  out
• 58:26
  of
• 58:26
  your
• 58:27
  dynamic
• 58:27
  and
• 58:27
  can't
• 58:28
  recirculate
• 58:28
  back.
• 58:28
  Yeah.
• 58:30
  Bids
• 58:31
  is
• 58:31
  one
• 58:31
  of
• 58:31
  my
• 58:31
  favorite
• 58:32
  words.
• 58:32
  And
• 58:33
  so
• 58:33
  my
• 58:33
  husband
• 58:34
  and
• 58:34
  I,
• 58:34
  we
• 58:34
  do
• 58:35
  kind
• 58:35
  of.
• 58:36
  We
• 58:36
  don't
• 58:36
  call
• 58:36
  it
• 58:37
  bidding.
• 58:37
  We
• 58:37
  call,
• 58:39
  oh,
• 58:39
  my
• 58:39
  God,
• 58:40
  I
• 58:40
  just
• 58:40
  left
• 58:40
  my
• 58:40
  head.
• 58:40
  Because
• 58:40
  we
• 58:40
  haven't
• 58:41
  had
• 58:41
  to
• 58:41
  use
• 58:41
  it
• 58:41
  in
• 58:42
  so
• 58:42
  long.
• 58:42
  But
• 58:43
  we.
• 58:43
  That's
• 58:44
  a
• 58:44
  good
• 58:44
  thing.
• 58:44
  That
• 58:45
  sounds
• 58:45
  very
• 58:46
  cocky.
• 58:46
  But
• 58:47
  it
• 58:47
  was
• 58:48
  like,
• 58:49
  for
• 58:49
  this
• 58:50
  example,
• 58:50
  we'll
• 58:51
  use
• 58:51
  bids,
• 58:51
  and
• 58:51
  it's
• 58:52
  like,
• 58:52
  for
• 58:52
  every
• 58:53
  missed
• 58:53
  bid,
• 58:54
  you
• 58:54
  have
• 58:54
  five
• 58:56
  chips
• 58:56
  that
• 58:56
  you
• 58:56
  got
• 58:56
  to
• 58:56
  put
• 58:57
  in
• 58:57
  to
• 58:57
  repair
• 58:58
  that.
• 58:58
  And
• 58:59
  so
• 58:59
  that
• 58:59
  was
• 58:59
  something
• 58:59
  that
• 58:59
  we
• 58:59
  always
• 59:00
  remembered.
• 59:01
  It
• 59:01
  was
• 59:01
  the
• 59:01
  cup.
• 59:02
  And
• 59:02
  for
• 59:03
  every
• 59:03
  missed
• 59:05
  man,
• 59:06
  maybe
• 59:06
  it
• 59:06
  was
• 59:06
  bit,
• 59:07
  but
• 59:07
  that
• 59:07
  just
• 59:07
  doesn't
• 59:07
  sound.
• 59:08
  That
• 59:08
  doesn't
• 59:08
  sound
• 59:09
  right
• 59:09
  to
• 59:09
  me.
• 59:09
  But
• 59:09
  it
• 59:10
  was.
• 59:10
  You
• 59:10
  know,
• 59:10
  we
• 59:10
  have
• 59:10
  a
• 59:11
  cup,
• 59:11
  we
• 59:11
  warn
• 59:12
  each
• 59:12
  other,
• 59:12
  like,
• 59:12
  oh,
• 59:12
  hey,
• 59:13
  the
• 59:13
  cup
• 59:13
  is,
• 59:13
  like,
• 59:14
  becoming
• 59:14
  empty.
• 59:15
  And
• 59:15
  then
• 59:15
  it's
• 59:16
  like,
• 59:16
  oh,
• 59:17
  I
• 59:17
  need
• 59:17
  to
• 59:17
  fill
• 59:17
  that
• 59:17
  up.
• 59:18
  And
• 59:18
  so
• 59:18
  realizing,
• 59:19
  oh,
• 59:19
  we
• 59:19
  can't
• 59:20
  miss
• 59:20
  any
• 59:20
  more
• 59:20
  of
• 59:21
  their
• 59:22
  requests
• 59:22
  for
• 59:24
  whatever
• 59:24
  it
• 59:24
  is
• 59:26
  because
• 59:26
  we
• 59:26
  got
• 59:26
  a
• 59:27
  five
• 59:27
  to
• 59:28
  make
• 59:28
  up
• 59:28
  for
• 59:28
  that
• 59:29
  one
• 59:29
  time
• 59:29
  that
• 59:29
  we
• 59:30
  let
• 59:30
  them
• 59:30
  down.
• 59:31
  Oh.
• 59:31
  Because
• 59:32
  I
• 59:32
  feel
• 59:32
  like.
• 59:33
  I
• 59:33
  mean,
• 59:33
  you're
• 59:33
  right.
• 59:34
  Like,
• 59:34
  it
• 59:34
  takes
• 59:35
  way
• 59:35
  more
• 59:35
  positive
• 59:36
  memories
• 59:37
  than,
• 59:38
  like,
• 59:38
  to
• 59:39
  overcome
• 59:39
  a
• 59:40
  negative
• 59:40
  memory.
• 59:41
  Right?
• 59:42
  Yeah.
• 59:42
  The
• 59:43
  ratio
• 59:43
  is
• 59:43
  five
• 59:43
  to
• 59:44
  one.
• 59:44
  That's
• 59:45
  what
• 59:45
  you
• 59:45
  did.
• 59:46
  Yeah.
• 59:47
  You
• 59:47
  must
• 59:47
  have
• 59:47
  done
• 59:47
  some
• 59:48
  Gottman
• 59:48
  work
• 59:48
  you're
• 59:49
  familiar
• 59:49
  with.
• 59:49
  It
• 59:49
  was
• 59:49
  Gottman.
• 59:50
  Okay.
• 59:50
  But
• 59:51
  I
• 59:51
  feel
• 59:51
  ridiculous
• 59:51
  that
• 59:52
  I
• 59:52
  can't
• 59:52
  remember
• 59:52
  what
• 59:52
  word
• 59:53
  we
• 59:53
  use.
• 59:53
  I
• 59:54
  don't
• 59:54
  think
• 59:54
  it
• 59:54
  was
• 59:55
  bid,
• 59:55
  but
• 59:55
  maybe
• 59:56
  it
• 59:56
  was.
• 59:57
  It's
• 59:58
  okay.
• 59:59
  Spoon.
• 59:59
  Yeah.
• 1:00:00
  That's
• 1:00:01
  when
• 1:00:01
  everyone
• 1:00:01
  uses
• 1:00:01
  right
• 1:00:02
  now.
• 1:00:03
  Wait,
• 1:00:03
  are
• 1:00:03
  you
• 1:00:03
  serious?
• 1:00:04
  Yeah.
• 1:00:04
  Oh,
• 1:00:04
  I've
• 1:00:04
  never
• 1:00:04
  heard
• 1:00:05
  of
• 1:00:05
  that.
• 1:00:05
  Okay.
• 1:00:07
  Spice
• 1:00:07
  Theory
• 1:00:08
  is.
• 1:00:08
  Is
• 1:00:08
  awesome.
• 1:00:08
  It's
• 1:00:09
  from
• 1:00:09
  a
• 1:00:09
  disability
• 1:00:09
  community.
• 1:00:10
  Right.
• 1:00:10
  Like,
• 1:00:10
  you.
• 1:00:11
  You
• 1:00:11
  wake
• 1:00:12
  up
• 1:00:12
  with
• 1:00:12
  a
• 1:00:12
  whole.
• 1:00:12
  With
• 1:00:12
  a
• 1:00:12
  number
• 1:00:13
  of
• 1:00:13
  spoons
• 1:00:13
  every
• 1:00:13
  day,
• 1:00:14
  and
• 1:00:14
  every
• 1:00:14
  task
• 1:00:15
  requires
• 1:00:16
  you
• 1:00:16
  to
• 1:00:16
  give
• 1:00:16
  a
• 1:00:16
  certain
• 1:00:17
  amount
• 1:00:17
  of
• 1:00:17
  spoons.
• 1:00:18
  But
• 1:00:18
  people
• 1:00:18
  who
• 1:00:18
  have
• 1:00:19
  disabilities
• 1:00:20
  wake
• 1:00:20
  up
• 1:00:20
  with
• 1:00:21
  less
• 1:00:21
  spoons,
• 1:00:21
  and
• 1:00:22
  so
• 1:00:22
  they're
• 1:00:22
  more
• 1:00:22
  protective
• 1:00:23
  of
• 1:00:23
  how
• 1:00:24
  much
• 1:00:24
  energy
• 1:00:25
  give
• 1:00:25
  away.
• 1:00:26
  Because
• 1:00:26
  when
• 1:00:26
  you're
• 1:00:27
  out,
• 1:00:27
  you're
• 1:00:27
  out
• 1:00:27
  at
• 1:00:27
  the
• 1:00:27
  end
• 1:00:27
  of
• 1:00:28
  the
• 1:00:28
  day,
• 1:00:28
  right?
• 1:00:28
  Yeah.
• 1:00:29
  Oh,
• 1:00:29
  yeah.
• 1:00:31
  That
• 1:00:31
  was
• 1:00:31
  another
• 1:00:31
  really
• 1:00:31
  good
• 1:00:32
  thing
• 1:00:32
  to
• 1:00:32
  kind
• 1:00:32
  of
• 1:00:32
  think
• 1:00:32
  about.
• 1:00:33
  Yeah,
• 1:00:33
  I
• 1:00:34
  love
• 1:00:34
  it.
• 1:00:35
  I
• 1:00:35
  feel
• 1:00:35
  like
• 1:00:35
  to
• 1:00:35
  finish
• 1:00:36
  answering
• 1:00:36
  one
• 1:00:37
  of
• 1:00:37
  our
• 1:00:38
  listeners
• 1:00:39
  questions,
• 1:00:40
  when
• 1:00:40
  we
• 1:00:40
  age,
• 1:00:41
  sex
• 1:00:42
  doesn't
• 1:00:42
  become
• 1:00:43
  as
• 1:00:43
  easy
• 1:00:45
  as
• 1:00:45
  it
• 1:00:45
  was
• 1:00:45
  when
• 1:00:45
  we
• 1:00:46
  were
• 1:00:46
  younger.
• 1:00:47
  Obviously,
• 1:00:47
  we
• 1:00:48
  run
• 1:00:48
  out
• 1:00:48
  of
• 1:00:48
  that,
• 1:00:49
  like,
• 1:00:49
  natural
• 1:00:49
  lubricant.
• 1:00:51
  Like,
• 1:00:51
  how
• 1:00:52
  does
• 1:00:53
  the
• 1:00:53
  female.
• 1:00:54
  How
• 1:00:54
  can
• 1:00:54
  a
• 1:00:54
  female
• 1:00:55
  still
• 1:00:55
  enjoy
• 1:00:55
  sex
• 1:00:56
  as
• 1:00:56
  they
• 1:00:56
  age
• 1:00:56
  and
• 1:00:56
  it's
• 1:00:57
  just
• 1:00:57
  harder
• 1:00:58
  to
• 1:00:58
  become
• 1:00:58
  comfortable
• 1:00:59
  with?
• 1:00:59
  Does
• 1:00:59
  that
• 1:00:59
  question
• 1:01:00
  make
• 1:01:00
  sense?
• 1:01:01
  Yes.
• 1:01:02
  And
• 1:01:04
  asking
• 1:01:05
  it
• 1:01:05
  wrong?
• 1:01:06
  Well,
• 1:01:07
  this
• 1:01:08
  particular
• 1:01:09
  person
• 1:01:09
  who
• 1:01:10
  asked
• 1:01:10
  us
• 1:01:10
  to
• 1:01:10
  talk
• 1:01:11
  about
• 1:01:11
  this,
• 1:01:13
  she
• 1:01:13
  wanted
• 1:01:14
  it
• 1:01:14
  to
• 1:01:14
  be
• 1:01:14
  clear
• 1:01:15
  that
• 1:01:15
  sex
• 1:01:15
  doesn't
• 1:01:17
  go,
• 1:01:17
  like,
• 1:01:18
  become
• 1:01:19
  obsolete
• 1:01:20
  after
• 1:01:20
  that,
• 1:01:21
  like
• 1:01:21
  the
• 1:01:21
  age
• 1:01:21
  of
• 1:01:21
  70,
• 1:01:22
  per
• 1:01:22
  se.
• 1:01:23
  And
• 1:01:23
  so
• 1:01:23
  I
• 1:01:23
  don't
• 1:01:23
  know
• 1:01:24
  if
• 1:01:24
  she
• 1:01:24
  was
• 1:01:24
  saying,
• 1:01:24
  like,
• 1:01:24
  it
• 1:01:25
  gets
• 1:01:25
  harder
• 1:01:25
  or
• 1:01:25
  not.
• 1:01:26
  I
• 1:01:26
  don't
• 1:01:26
  know
• 1:01:26
  what
• 1:01:26
  she
• 1:01:26
  was
• 1:01:27
  saying,
• 1:01:27
  really.
• 1:01:27
  Generally
• 1:01:28
  what
• 1:01:28
  you
• 1:01:29
  hear
• 1:01:29
  is
• 1:01:29
  that
• 1:01:29
  it
• 1:01:29
  is
• 1:01:30
  harder.
• 1:01:31
  Yeah.
• 1:01:31
  But
• 1:01:31
  the
• 1:01:32
  desire
• 1:01:32
  doesn't
• 1:01:32
  go
• 1:01:32
  away.
• 1:01:33
  Yeah.
• 1:01:33
  She
• 1:01:33
  just
• 1:01:33
  was
• 1:01:34
  kind
• 1:01:34
  of
• 1:01:34
  like,
• 1:01:34
  I
• 1:01:34
  just
• 1:01:34
  want
• 1:01:34
  people
• 1:01:35
  to
• 1:01:35
  know
• 1:01:36
  that
• 1:01:37
  we
• 1:01:37
  still
• 1:01:37
  have
• 1:01:37
  sex.
• 1:01:38
  Yes.
• 1:01:41
  100%.
• 1:01:42
  Yeah,
• 1:01:42
  absolutely.
• 1:01:42
  It's.
• 1:01:43
  It's
• 1:01:43
  weird
• 1:01:43
  how
• 1:01:44
  that's
• 1:01:44
  like
• 1:01:44
  a.
• 1:01:45
  Because
• 1:01:45
  I
• 1:01:45
  hear
• 1:01:45
  it
• 1:01:46
  all
• 1:01:46
  the
• 1:01:46
  time.
• 1:01:46
  Right.
• 1:01:47
  Like
• 1:01:47
  the
• 1:01:47
  expectation
• 1:01:48
  of
• 1:01:48
  oh,
• 1:01:48
  we're
• 1:01:49
  too
• 1:01:49
  old
• 1:01:49
  for
• 1:01:49
  that.
• 1:01:50
  Right?
• 1:01:50
  You
• 1:01:50
  do.
• 1:01:50
  Okay.
• 1:01:52
  And
• 1:01:52
  when
• 1:01:53
  you
• 1:01:53
  look
• 1:01:53
  at
• 1:01:53
  like
• 1:01:53
  statistics
• 1:01:54
  of
• 1:01:54
  STIs,
• 1:01:55
  STDs
• 1:01:56
  in
• 1:01:57
  the
• 1:01:57
  US
• 1:01:58
  the
• 1:01:58
  nursing
• 1:01:58
  homes
• 1:01:59
  are
• 1:01:59
  the
• 1:01:59
  highest
• 1:02:00
  rated
• 1:02:00
  communities
• 1:02:01
  because
• 1:02:01
  you
• 1:02:02
  don't.
• 1:02:02
  You
• 1:02:02
  have
• 1:02:02
  unprotected
• 1:02:03
  sex
• 1:02:03
  in
• 1:02:03
  nursing,
• 1:02:04
  you
• 1:02:04
  don't
• 1:02:04
  need
• 1:02:04
  them
• 1:02:05
  to
• 1:02:05
  protect
• 1:02:05
  anymore.
• 1:02:06
  I
• 1:02:06
  have
• 1:02:06
  heard
• 1:02:07
  this.
• 1:02:07
  Didn't
• 1:02:08
  realize
• 1:02:08
  it
• 1:02:08
  was
• 1:02:09
  true.
• 1:02:09
  I
• 1:02:10
  did
• 1:02:10
  not
• 1:02:10
  know
• 1:02:10
  that.
• 1:02:13
  And
• 1:02:13
  so
• 1:02:14
  yeah,
• 1:02:14
  it's.
• 1:02:14
  And
• 1:02:15
  again,
• 1:02:15
  for,
• 1:02:15
  for
• 1:02:15
  a
• 1:02:15
  reason.
• 1:02:16
  Right.
• 1:02:16
  Like
• 1:02:17
  part
• 1:02:17
  of
• 1:02:17
  the
• 1:02:17
  reason,
• 1:02:18
  healthy
• 1:02:18
  reasons
• 1:02:18
  for
• 1:02:18
  having
• 1:02:19
  sex
• 1:02:19
  is
• 1:02:19
  having
• 1:02:20
  fun.
• 1:02:21
  Like
• 1:02:21
  connect
• 1:02:22
  with
• 1:02:22
  your
• 1:02:22
  body,
• 1:02:23
  learn
• 1:02:23
  to
• 1:02:24
  have
• 1:02:24
  fun
• 1:02:24
  or,
• 1:02:25
  or
• 1:02:25
  re.
• 1:02:25
  Experience
• 1:02:26
  adventure
• 1:02:26
  in
• 1:02:27
  a
• 1:02:27
  new
• 1:02:27
  way.
• 1:02:27
  Maybe
• 1:02:28
  you
• 1:02:28
  can't
• 1:02:28
  drive
• 1:02:28
  to
• 1:02:28
  the
• 1:02:29
  beach
• 1:02:29
  or
• 1:02:29
  to
• 1:02:29
  the
• 1:02:30
  whatever,
• 1:02:30
  but
• 1:02:31
  maybe
• 1:02:31
  you
• 1:02:31
  can
• 1:02:31
  have
• 1:02:31
  a
• 1:02:31
  different
• 1:02:32
  type
• 1:02:32
  of
• 1:02:32
  sex
• 1:02:32
  and
• 1:02:33
  that's
• 1:02:33
  adventurous
• 1:02:33
  and
• 1:02:34
  stimulating
• 1:02:34
  for
• 1:02:34
  you.
• 1:02:36
  You
• 1:02:36
  know,
• 1:02:36
  there
• 1:02:36
  are
• 1:02:36
  so
• 1:02:36
  many.
• 1:02:37
  Is
• 1:02:37
  it
• 1:02:37
  a
• 1:02:37
  myth
• 1:02:39
  that
• 1:02:40
  that
• 1:02:40
  sex
• 1:02:40
  gets
• 1:02:41
  harder
• 1:02:41
  or
• 1:02:41
  does
• 1:02:41
  it
• 1:02:41
  get
• 1:02:42
  harder
• 1:02:43
  or
• 1:02:43
  I
• 1:02:43
  guess
• 1:02:44
  now
• 1:02:44
  I'm
• 1:02:44
  not
• 1:02:44
  sure
• 1:02:45
  what
• 1:02:45
  we're
• 1:02:45
  asking.
• 1:02:47
  So
• 1:02:47
  it
• 1:02:47
  gets
• 1:02:48
  more
• 1:02:48
  painful
• 1:02:49
  if
• 1:02:49
  you
• 1:02:49
  don't
• 1:02:49
  accommodate
• 1:02:50
  your
• 1:02:50
  aging
• 1:02:51
  bodies.
• 1:02:51
  Right.
• 1:02:52
  For
• 1:02:52
  women,
• 1:02:53
  the
• 1:02:54
  once
• 1:02:55
  you
• 1:02:55
  hit
• 1:02:56
  like
• 1:02:56
  perimenopause
• 1:02:57
  into
• 1:02:57
  menopause,
• 1:02:58
  your,
• 1:02:59
  your
• 1:02:59
  lubrication
• 1:03:00
  declines
• 1:03:00
  and
• 1:03:00
  your
• 1:03:01
  elasticity
• 1:03:02
  declines,
• 1:03:03
  which
• 1:03:03
  means
• 1:03:03
  the
• 1:03:03
  natural
• 1:03:04
  canal
• 1:03:04
  gets.
• 1:03:05
  That's
• 1:03:06
  less
• 1:03:06
  elastic,
• 1:03:07
  less
• 1:03:07
  like
• 1:03:08
  spongy
• 1:03:08
  and
• 1:03:08
  shorter.
• 1:03:09
  Right.
• 1:03:10
  Okay.
• 1:03:11
  So
• 1:03:11
  not
• 1:03:11
  only
• 1:03:11
  is
• 1:03:11
  there
• 1:03:12
  more
• 1:03:12
  friction
• 1:03:12
  if
• 1:03:13
  we're
• 1:03:13
  not
• 1:03:13
  accommodating
• 1:03:14
  like
• 1:03:15
  secondary
• 1:03:15
  lubricant
• 1:03:16
  into
• 1:03:16
  the
• 1:03:16
  mix,
• 1:03:17
  but
• 1:03:18
  you
• 1:03:18
  quite
• 1:03:18
  literally
• 1:03:19
  don't
• 1:03:19
  have
• 1:03:19
  enough
• 1:03:19
  space
• 1:03:20
  to
• 1:03:20
  accommodate
• 1:03:21
  your
• 1:03:21
  partner
• 1:03:21
  anymore.
• 1:03:22
  And
• 1:03:22
  so
• 1:03:24
  I
• 1:03:24
  think
• 1:03:24
  it's,
• 1:03:24
  I
• 1:03:25
  think
• 1:03:25
  it's
• 1:03:25
  a
• 1:03:25
  misconception
• 1:03:26
  because
• 1:03:26
  there's
• 1:03:27
  pain
• 1:03:28
  can
• 1:03:28
  be
• 1:03:28
  very
• 1:03:29
  quickly
• 1:03:29
  conditioned
• 1:03:30
  to
• 1:03:30
  sex.
• 1:03:31
  Sex,
• 1:03:31
  if
• 1:03:31
  you're
• 1:03:32
  experiencing
• 1:03:32
  pain
• 1:03:33
  and
• 1:03:33
  you're
• 1:03:33
  just
• 1:03:33
  trying
• 1:03:33
  to
• 1:03:33
  fight
• 1:03:34
  through
• 1:03:34
  the
• 1:03:34
  moment,
• 1:03:34
  assuming
• 1:03:35
  it's
• 1:03:35
  going
• 1:03:35
  to
• 1:03:35
  get
• 1:03:36
  better
• 1:03:36
  in
• 1:03:36
  the
• 1:03:36
  next
• 1:03:36
  couple
• 1:03:37
  of
• 1:03:37
  times.
• 1:03:38
  Don't,
• 1:03:39
  don't,
• 1:03:39
  don't
• 1:03:39
  fight
• 1:03:40
  through
• 1:03:40
  pain.
• 1:03:40
  That's
• 1:03:41
  how
• 1:03:41
  we
• 1:03:41
  condition
• 1:03:42
  this
• 1:03:42
  fear
• 1:03:43
  response,
• 1:03:43
  this
• 1:03:43
  aversion
• 1:03:44
  to
• 1:03:44
  sex
• 1:03:45
  very
• 1:03:46
  quickly.
• 1:03:47
  So
• 1:03:48
  I
• 1:03:48
  think
• 1:03:48
  we
• 1:03:48
  just
• 1:03:48
  need
• 1:03:49
  to
• 1:03:49
  be
• 1:03:49
  more.
• 1:03:49
  We
• 1:03:50
  need
• 1:03:50
  to
• 1:03:50
  talk
• 1:03:50
  about
• 1:03:51
  the
• 1:03:51
  effects
• 1:03:51
  of
• 1:03:52
  menopause
• 1:03:52
  on
• 1:03:52
  aging
• 1:03:53
  bodies
• 1:03:53
  and
• 1:03:54
  how
• 1:03:54
  you
• 1:03:54
  accommodate
• 1:03:55
  some
• 1:03:55
  of
• 1:03:55
  those
• 1:03:55
  symptoms
• 1:03:56
  so
• 1:03:56
  that
• 1:03:56
  you
• 1:03:56
  can
• 1:03:56
  store
• 1:03:57
  story
• 1:03:57
  and
• 1:03:57
  have
• 1:03:58
  it
• 1:03:58
  be
• 1:03:58
  a
• 1:03:58
  pleasurable
• 1:03:58
  experience.
• 1:04:00
  Yeah.
• 1:04:01
  Now
• 1:04:01
  I'm
• 1:04:02
  glad
• 1:04:02
  that
• 1:04:02
  you
• 1:04:02
  mentioned
• 1:04:03
  about
• 1:04:03
  like
• 1:04:03
  how
• 1:04:04
  as
• 1:04:04
  you
• 1:04:05
  age
• 1:04:05
  you
• 1:04:05
  just.
• 1:04:06
  The
• 1:04:06
  electicity
• 1:04:09
  is
• 1:04:09
  lower
• 1:04:09
  and
• 1:04:09
  so
• 1:04:10
  you
• 1:04:10
  just
• 1:04:10
  don't
• 1:04:10
  physically
• 1:04:11
  have
• 1:04:11
  the
• 1:04:11
  space.
• 1:04:11
  I
• 1:04:12
  one
• 1:04:13
  time
• 1:04:14
  heard
• 1:04:15
  that
• 1:04:16
  when
• 1:04:16
  you're
• 1:04:16
  aroused
• 1:04:17
  you
• 1:04:17
  like,
• 1:04:18
  you
• 1:04:18
  only
• 1:04:18
  have
• 1:04:19
  so
• 1:04:19
  much
• 1:04:19
  space
• 1:04:20
  and
• 1:04:20
  when
• 1:04:20
  you're
• 1:04:21
  aroused
• 1:04:21
  it,
• 1:04:22
  you
• 1:04:22
  get
• 1:04:22
  more
• 1:04:23
  space.
• 1:04:24
  But
• 1:04:24
  like
• 1:04:26
  how
• 1:04:26
  Can
• 1:04:26
  I
• 1:04:26
  ask
• 1:04:27
  this
• 1:04:27
  in
• 1:04:27
  like
• 1:04:27
  a
• 1:04:27
  non
• 1:04:28
  vulgar
• 1:04:28
  way?
• 1:04:30
  Just
• 1:04:30
  ask
• 1:04:31
  it.
• 1:04:31
  We're
• 1:04:31
  just
• 1:04:31
  ask
• 1:04:32
  it.
• 1:04:32
  You
• 1:04:33
  can
• 1:04:33
  blame
• 1:04:33
  it
• 1:04:33
  on
• 1:04:33
  me.
• 1:04:33
  Melissa
• 1:04:34
  said
• 1:04:34
  get
• 1:04:34
  vulgar.
• 1:04:36
  I.
• 1:04:36
  Okay,
• 1:04:36
  but
• 1:04:37
  it
• 1:04:37
  shouldn't
• 1:04:37
  have
• 1:04:37
  to
• 1:04:38
  be.
• 1:04:38
  We
• 1:04:38
  don't
• 1:04:38
  have.
• 1:04:38
  It's
• 1:04:38
  not
• 1:04:39
  vulgar.
• 1:04:39
  We're
• 1:04:39
  breaking
• 1:04:40
  stereotypes.
• 1:04:40
  We
• 1:04:41
  are.
• 1:04:42
  We
• 1:04:42
  will
• 1:04:42
  talk
• 1:04:43
  about
• 1:04:43
  more
• 1:04:43
  of
• 1:04:43
  this
• 1:04:43
  like
• 1:04:44
  in
• 1:04:44
  another
• 1:04:44
  episode.
• 1:04:44
  Or
• 1:04:45
  you
• 1:04:45
  know,
• 1:04:45
  I
• 1:04:45
  have
• 1:04:45
  friends
• 1:04:46
  on
• 1:04:46
  dating
• 1:04:46
  websites
• 1:04:46
  or
• 1:04:47
  whatever.
• 1:04:47
  And
• 1:04:47
  you
• 1:04:48
  see,
• 1:04:48
  I
• 1:04:49
  have
• 1:04:49
  male
• 1:04:49
  friends
• 1:04:49
  that
• 1:04:49
  are.
• 1:04:49
  Okay,
• 1:04:50
  this
• 1:04:50
  is
• 1:04:50
  how
• 1:04:50
  we'll
• 1:04:50
  approach
• 1:04:50
  it.
• 1:04:51
  It.
• 1:04:52
  I
• 1:04:52
  have
• 1:04:52
  male
• 1:04:52
  friends
• 1:04:53
  who
• 1:04:53
  are
• 1:04:53
  on
• 1:04:53
  dating
• 1:04:54
  websites.
• 1:04:54
  And
• 1:04:55
  some
• 1:04:55
  of
• 1:04:55
  these
• 1:04:55
  websites
• 1:04:56
  you'll
• 1:04:56
  have
• 1:04:56
  girls
• 1:04:56
  that
• 1:04:57
  are
• 1:04:57
  like,
• 1:04:57
  oh,
• 1:04:58
  I
• 1:04:59
  need
• 1:04:59
  eight
• 1:05:00
  inches
• 1:05:00
  or
• 1:05:00
  more
• 1:05:01
  to
• 1:05:02
  like
• 1:05:02
  be
• 1:05:02
  satisfied.
• 1:05:03
  And
• 1:05:03
  it's
• 1:05:03
  like,
• 1:05:04
  you
• 1:05:04
  don't
• 1:05:04
  have
• 1:05:05
  space
• 1:05:05
  for
• 1:05:05
  that.
• 1:05:05
  Like,
• 1:05:06
  I
• 1:05:06
  don't
• 1:05:06
  understand.
• 1:05:07
  Like,
• 1:05:08
  do
• 1:05:08
  people
• 1:05:09
  have
• 1:05:09
  different
• 1:05:10
  space?
• 1:05:11
  Like,
• 1:05:11
  it's
• 1:05:11
  not
• 1:05:11
  like
• 1:05:11
  one,
• 1:05:12
  one
• 1:05:12
  size
• 1:05:13
  fits
• 1:05:13
  all.
• 1:05:13
  Like,
• 1:05:14
  it's
• 1:05:14
  just
• 1:05:14
  mind
• 1:05:15
  boggling
• 1:05:15
  to
• 1:05:15
  me.
• 1:05:15
  Like,
• 1:05:16
  why
• 1:05:16
  do
• 1:05:16
  some
• 1:05:16
  people
• 1:05:16
  need
• 1:05:17
  that?
• 1:05:17
  That
• 1:05:17
  sounds.
• 1:05:18
  Who
• 1:05:18
  wants
• 1:05:18
  their
• 1:05:19
  organs
• 1:05:19
  being
• 1:05:19
  rearranged?
• 1:05:20
  Well,
• 1:05:20
  just
• 1:05:21
  everyone's
• 1:05:21
  different
• 1:05:23
  because
• 1:05:24
  I
• 1:05:24
  would
• 1:05:24
  imagine
• 1:05:24
  girls
• 1:05:25
  are
• 1:05:25
  also
• 1:05:25
  different
• 1:05:26
  since
• 1:05:26
  even
• 1:05:27
  all
• 1:05:27
  guys
• 1:05:27
  have
• 1:05:28
  different
• 1:05:28
  size
• 1:05:29
  equipment.
• 1:05:30
  I
• 1:05:30
  don't
• 1:05:30
  know.
• 1:05:30
  Tell
• 1:05:30
  us.
• 1:05:31
  Shed
• 1:05:31
  some
• 1:05:31
  light.
• 1:05:32
  Okay,
• 1:05:33
  so
• 1:05:34
  again,
• 1:05:34
  everybody's
• 1:05:35
  different.
• 1:05:35
  During
• 1:05:36
  the
• 1:05:36
  perimenopause
• 1:05:37
  phase.
• 1:05:37
  It's.
• 1:05:38
  For
• 1:05:38
  some
• 1:05:38
  women,
• 1:05:39
  your
• 1:05:39
  interest
• 1:05:40
  in
• 1:05:41
  sexual,
• 1:05:41
  like
• 1:05:42
  experience
• 1:05:44
  dramatically
• 1:05:44
  increases
• 1:05:45
  before
• 1:05:45
  it
• 1:05:45
  dramatically
• 1:05:46
  drops
• 1:05:46
  in
• 1:05:47
  menopause.
• 1:05:47
  For
• 1:05:47
  some
• 1:05:48
  it
• 1:05:48
  goes.
• 1:05:48
  It's
• 1:05:49
  a
• 1:05:49
  progressive,
• 1:05:49
  gradual
• 1:05:50
  decline
• 1:05:51
  in
• 1:05:51
  interest.
• 1:05:52
  But
• 1:05:52
  for
• 1:05:52
  others
• 1:05:53
  it's
• 1:05:53
  at
• 1:05:53
  high
• 1:05:53
  peak
• 1:05:54
  and
• 1:05:54
  then
• 1:05:54
  menopause
• 1:05:55
  hits
• 1:05:55
  and
• 1:05:55
  then
• 1:05:55
  it's
• 1:05:56
  a
• 1:05:56
  drastic
• 1:05:56
  drop.
• 1:05:57
  Oh,
• 1:05:57
  wow.
• 1:05:57
  So
• 1:05:58
  that
• 1:05:58
  can
• 1:05:58
  explain
• 1:05:59
  some
• 1:05:59
  of
• 1:05:59
  it.
• 1:05:59
  Because
• 1:06:00
  if
• 1:06:00
  you're
• 1:06:01
  physiologically
• 1:06:01
  aroused,
• 1:06:03
  your
• 1:06:03
  cavity
• 1:06:04
  is
• 1:06:04
  expanding
• 1:06:05
  beyond
• 1:06:05
  the
• 1:06:05
  average
• 1:06:06
  4
• 1:06:07
  inches
• 1:06:08
  and
• 1:06:08
  can
• 1:06:08
  accommodate
• 1:06:09
  more.
• 1:06:10
  That's
• 1:06:11
  why
• 1:06:11
  I
• 1:06:11
  was
• 1:06:11
  so
• 1:06:12
  amazed
• 1:06:12
  it
• 1:06:13
  was
• 1:06:13
  four
• 1:06:13
  inches.
• 1:06:14
  And
• 1:06:14
  so
• 1:06:14
  it's
• 1:06:14
  like,
• 1:06:15
  where
• 1:06:15
  the
• 1:06:15
  hell
• 1:06:15
  does
• 1:06:15
  eight
• 1:06:16
  go?
• 1:06:20
  For.
• 1:06:21
  For
• 1:06:21
  some
• 1:06:22
  women,
• 1:06:22
  like,
• 1:06:23
  as
• 1:06:23
  we
• 1:06:23
  age,
• 1:06:24
  not
• 1:06:24
  only
• 1:06:24
  is
• 1:06:24
  the
• 1:06:25
  elasticity
• 1:06:26
  declining,
• 1:06:26
  but.
• 1:06:27
  And
• 1:06:28
  this
• 1:06:28
  is
• 1:06:28
  not
• 1:06:28
  just
• 1:06:28
  sexual,
• 1:06:29
  this
• 1:06:29
  is
• 1:06:29
  across
• 1:06:29
  your
• 1:06:30
  whole
• 1:06:30
  body.
• 1:06:31
  Our
• 1:06:31
  sensitivity,
• 1:06:32
  our
• 1:06:32
  nerve
• 1:06:32
  endings
• 1:06:34
  are
• 1:06:34
  no
• 1:06:34
  longer
• 1:06:34
  as
• 1:06:35
  sensitive.
• 1:06:35
  That's
• 1:06:36
  why
• 1:06:36
  when
• 1:06:36
  you
• 1:06:36
  have
• 1:06:36
  like,
• 1:06:37
  like
• 1:06:37
  when
• 1:06:37
  you
• 1:06:37
  have
• 1:06:38
  an
• 1:06:38
  elder
• 1:06:38
  in
• 1:06:38
  your
• 1:06:38
  family
• 1:06:39
  and
• 1:06:39
  you're
• 1:06:39
  like,
• 1:06:39
  how
• 1:06:39
  did
• 1:06:40
  you
• 1:06:40
  get
• 1:06:40
  that
• 1:06:40
  nasty
• 1:06:41
  bruise
• 1:06:41
  on
• 1:06:41
  your
• 1:06:42
  body?
• 1:06:42
  What
• 1:06:42
  did
• 1:06:42
  you
• 1:06:42
  do?
• 1:06:43
  They're
• 1:06:43
  like,
• 1:06:43
  oh,
• 1:06:43
  I
• 1:06:43
  have
• 1:06:43
  no
• 1:06:43
  idea.
• 1:06:44
  I
• 1:06:44
  don't
• 1:06:44
  know
• 1:06:44
  when
• 1:06:44
  that
• 1:06:44
  happened.
• 1:06:45
  I
• 1:06:45
  didn't
• 1:06:45
  feel
• 1:06:45
  a
• 1:06:45
  thing.
• 1:06:47
  Because
• 1:06:47
  your,
• 1:06:47
  your
• 1:06:48
  skin,
• 1:06:48
  your
• 1:06:48
  body
• 1:06:49
  becomes
• 1:06:49
  desensitized
• 1:06:51
  and
• 1:06:51
  that,
• 1:06:51
  that
• 1:06:52
  impacts
• 1:06:52
  sexual
• 1:06:53
  experience
• 1:06:53
  as
• 1:06:54
  well.
• 1:06:54
  So
• 1:06:54
  sometimes
• 1:06:55
  people
• 1:06:55
  are
• 1:06:56
  wanting
• 1:06:57
  a
• 1:06:57
  little
• 1:06:57
  bit
• 1:06:57
  rougher,
• 1:06:58
  a
• 1:06:58
  little
• 1:06:58
  bit
• 1:06:59
  harder,
• 1:06:59
  or
• 1:06:59
  just
• 1:06:59
  a
• 1:07:00
  different
• 1:07:00
  size
• 1:07:01
  because
• 1:07:01
  it
• 1:07:01
  increases
• 1:07:02
  sensation
• 1:07:03
  response.
• 1:07:03
  Does
• 1:07:04
  that
• 1:07:04
  make
• 1:07:04
  sense?
• 1:07:05
  But
• 1:07:05
  that's,
• 1:07:05
  that's
• 1:07:06
  very
• 1:07:06
  unique
• 1:07:07
  person
• 1:07:07
  to
• 1:07:07
  person
• 1:07:08
  based
• 1:07:08
  on,
• 1:07:08
  like,
• 1:07:09
  how
• 1:07:09
  they're
• 1:07:09
  responding
• 1:07:10
  to
• 1:07:10
  the
• 1:07:10
  hormone
• 1:07:11
  changes.
• 1:07:12
  Yeah,
• 1:07:12
  Okay,
• 1:07:13
  I
• 1:07:13
  got
• 1:07:13
  you.
• 1:07:13
  I
• 1:07:14
  still
• 1:07:14
  think
• 1:07:14
  that
• 1:07:14
  no
• 1:07:15
  matter
• 1:07:15
  who
• 1:07:15
  you
• 1:07:15
  are,
• 1:07:16
  your
• 1:07:16
  organs
• 1:07:16
  are
• 1:07:16
  being
• 1:07:17
  rearranged,
• 1:07:17
  and
• 1:07:17
  I
• 1:07:18
  just
• 1:07:18
  think
• 1:07:18
  that's
• 1:07:18
  insane.
• 1:07:19
  Maybe
• 1:07:19
  that's
• 1:07:19
  all
• 1:07:19
  they
• 1:07:19
  can
• 1:07:20
  feel
• 1:07:21
  there.
• 1:07:22
  There
• 1:07:22
  is
• 1:07:23
  a
• 1:07:23
  thing
• 1:07:23
  called
• 1:07:25
  a
• 1:07:25
  uterine
• 1:07:25
  orgasm,
• 1:07:26
  right
• 1:07:26
  where
• 1:07:26
  you're.
• 1:07:27
  You're
• 1:07:27
  coming
• 1:07:28
  up
• 1:07:28
  like
• 1:07:28
  that.
• 1:07:29
  That
• 1:07:29
  wall
• 1:07:30
  that
• 1:07:30
  people
• 1:07:30
  feel
• 1:07:31
  is
• 1:07:31
  getting
• 1:07:31
  hit
• 1:07:32
  and
• 1:07:32
  you're
• 1:07:32
  like,
• 1:07:33
  ow.
• 1:07:33
  That
• 1:07:33
  does
• 1:07:33
  not
• 1:07:34
  feel
• 1:07:34
  good.
• 1:07:34
  For
• 1:07:35
  some
• 1:07:35
  people,
• 1:07:36
  after
• 1:07:36
  you're
• 1:07:36
  in
• 1:07:37
  an
• 1:07:37
  aroused
• 1:07:37
  state,
• 1:07:38
  it
• 1:07:38
  can't
• 1:07:38
  be
• 1:07:38
  before.
• 1:07:38
  It's
• 1:07:39
  going
• 1:07:39
  to
• 1:07:39
  be
• 1:07:39
  painful
• 1:07:39
  if
• 1:07:40
  you
• 1:07:40
  hit
• 1:07:40
  it
• 1:07:40
  before.
• 1:07:41
  But
• 1:07:41
  hitting
• 1:07:42
  that
• 1:07:42
  kind
• 1:07:43
  of,
• 1:07:43
  like,
• 1:07:43
  cap
• 1:07:44
  of
• 1:07:44
  the
• 1:07:44
  cavity
• 1:07:45
  is
• 1:07:45
  actually
• 1:07:46
  activating
• 1:07:48
  orgasm.
• 1:07:48
  Like
• 1:07:49
  a
• 1:07:49
  different
• 1:07:49
  kind
• 1:07:49
  of
• 1:07:50
  orgasm
• 1:07:50
  from
• 1:07:50
  clitoral.
• 1:07:52
  It's
• 1:07:52
  just
• 1:07:53
  a
• 1:07:53
  different
• 1:07:53
  sensation.
• 1:07:54
  So
• 1:07:54
  for
• 1:07:54
  some.
• 1:07:55
  For
• 1:07:55
  some
• 1:07:55
  women,
• 1:07:55
  they
• 1:07:56
  enjoy
• 1:07:56
  that
• 1:07:57
  at
• 1:07:57
  the
• 1:07:57
  height
• 1:07:57
  of
• 1:07:57
  arousal.
• 1:07:58
  And
• 1:07:59
  maybe
• 1:07:59
  there
• 1:07:59
  are
• 1:07:59
  other
• 1:07:59
  women
• 1:08:00
  who
• 1:08:00
  are
• 1:08:00
  requesting
• 1:08:01
  deeper.
• 1:08:02
  Okay,
• 1:08:02
  I
• 1:08:02
  know
• 1:08:03
  we
• 1:08:03
  had
• 1:08:03
  an
• 1:08:03
  episode
• 1:08:03
  on
• 1:08:04
  types
• 1:08:04
  of
• 1:08:04
  orgasms.
• 1:08:05
  I
• 1:08:05
  don't
• 1:08:05
  remember
• 1:08:05
  that
• 1:08:06
  being
• 1:08:06
  one,
• 1:08:06
  but
• 1:08:06
  I
• 1:08:07
  could
• 1:08:07
  just
• 1:08:07
  not
• 1:08:07
  remember.
• 1:08:08
  Oh,
• 1:08:08
  I
• 1:08:08
  don't
• 1:08:08
  remember.
• 1:08:09
  There
• 1:08:09
  were
• 1:08:09
  more
• 1:08:09
  than
• 1:08:09
  I
• 1:08:09
  knew.
• 1:08:10
  Yeah.
• 1:08:10
  Seven
• 1:08:10
  or
• 1:08:11
  nine.
• 1:08:11
  So
• 1:08:11
  Interesting.
• 1:08:12
  Yeah,
• 1:08:13
  there's.
• 1:08:13
  Yeah,
• 1:08:14
  we
• 1:08:14
  should.
• 1:08:14
  We
• 1:08:14
  should
• 1:08:14
  do
• 1:08:15
  a.
• 1:08:16
  We
• 1:08:16
  should
• 1:08:16
  do
• 1:08:17
  an
• 1:08:17
  inter.
• 1:08:17
  Like
• 1:08:18
  a
• 1:08:18
  podcast
• 1:08:19
  just
• 1:08:19
  on
• 1:08:19
  the
• 1:08:20
  female.
• 1:08:20
  There's
• 1:08:21
  a
• 1:08:21
  massive
• 1:08:22
  stage,
• 1:08:22
  like
• 1:08:23
  a
• 1:08:23
  scale
• 1:08:23
  for
• 1:08:24
  how
• 1:08:24
  you
• 1:08:24
  activate
• 1:08:25
  altered
• 1:08:25
  states
• 1:08:26
  of
• 1:08:26
  consciousness
• 1:08:27
  or
• 1:08:27
  extended
• 1:08:27
  state
• 1:08:28
  workout
• 1:08:29
  women.
• 1:08:30
  It's
• 1:08:30
  really.
• 1:08:31
  What
• 1:08:32
  is
• 1:08:32
  really.
• 1:08:32
  You
• 1:08:32
  said
• 1:08:33
  it's
• 1:08:33
  a
• 1:08:33
  scale.
• 1:08:33
  Is
• 1:08:33
  there
• 1:08:33
  a
• 1:08:34
  name
• 1:08:34
  of
• 1:08:34
  it?
• 1:08:34
  Is
• 1:08:34
  the
• 1:08:34
  name
• 1:08:35
  of
• 1:08:35
  that
• 1:08:35
  scale
• 1:08:36
  or
• 1:08:36
  you're
• 1:08:37
  just
• 1:08:37
  saying.
• 1:08:38
  No,
• 1:08:38
  there
• 1:08:38
  is
• 1:08:39
  there.
• 1:08:39
  I
• 1:08:39
  did
• 1:08:39
  not
• 1:08:40
  make
• 1:08:40
  it.
• 1:08:40
  So
• 1:08:41
  let
• 1:08:41
  me.
• 1:08:41
  I'm
• 1:08:41
  just
• 1:08:41
  wanting
• 1:08:42
  to
• 1:08:42
  make
• 1:08:42
  sure
• 1:08:42
  I
• 1:08:42
  remember
• 1:08:43
  so
• 1:08:43
  we
• 1:08:43
  can.
• 1:08:43
  Yeah.
• 1:08:44
  Coordinate
• 1:08:44
  again.
• 1:08:45
  Yep.
• 1:08:46
  Yeah,
• 1:08:46
  for
• 1:08:47
  sure.
• 1:08:47
  Let
• 1:08:48
  me
• 1:08:48
  find
• 1:08:48
  it.
• 1:08:49
  You
• 1:08:50
  have
• 1:08:50
  been
• 1:08:50
  fascinating.
• 1:08:53
  Thank
• 1:08:53
  you.
• 1:08:54
  Thank
• 1:08:54
  you.
• 1:08:55
  Of
• 1:08:56
  course.
• 1:08:56
  I
• 1:08:56
  always
• 1:08:56
  love
• 1:08:57
  talking
• 1:08:57
  about
• 1:08:58
  this
• 1:08:58
  and
• 1:08:58
  just
• 1:08:58
  educating
• 1:09:00
  people.
• 1:09:00
  I
• 1:09:00
  mean,
• 1:09:00
  women
• 1:09:01
  in
• 1:09:01
  general,
• 1:09:01
  because
• 1:09:02
  I
• 1:09:02
  think
• 1:09:02
  we.
• 1:09:03
  We
• 1:09:03
  don't
• 1:09:03
  talk
• 1:09:03
  about
• 1:09:04
  what.
• 1:09:05
  What
• 1:09:05
  we
• 1:09:05
  need
• 1:09:06
  to
• 1:09:06
  learn
• 1:09:06
  about,
• 1:09:06
  like,
• 1:09:07
  our
• 1:09:07
  own
• 1:09:07
  bodies
• 1:09:08
  enough.
• 1:09:09
  Yeah.
• 1:09:09
  I
• 1:09:09
  think
• 1:09:09
  one
• 1:09:10
  of
• 1:09:10
  my,
• 1:09:10
  like,
• 1:09:11
  another
• 1:09:11
  thing
• 1:09:12
  that
• 1:09:12
  would
• 1:09:12
  be
• 1:09:12
  just
• 1:09:12
  amazing
• 1:09:13
  on
• 1:09:13
  another
• 1:09:14
  episode
• 1:09:14
  would
• 1:09:15
  be
• 1:09:15
  like,
• 1:09:15
  as
• 1:09:16
  a
• 1:09:16
  parent.
• 1:09:17
  So
• 1:09:17
  one,
• 1:09:17
  if
• 1:09:18
  you
• 1:09:18
  never
• 1:09:18
  grew
• 1:09:19
  to
• 1:09:19
  be
• 1:09:19
  comfortable
• 1:09:19
  with
• 1:09:20
  sex
• 1:09:20
  talks,
• 1:09:20
  and
• 1:09:20
  it
• 1:09:21
  took
• 1:09:21
  you
• 1:09:21
  a
• 1:09:21
  long
• 1:09:21
  time
• 1:09:21
  as
• 1:09:21
  an
• 1:09:22
  adult
• 1:09:22
  to
• 1:09:22
  be
• 1:09:22
  comfortable
• 1:09:23
  with
• 1:09:23
  even
• 1:09:24
  discussing
• 1:09:24
  sexual
• 1:09:25
  topics,
• 1:09:25
  like
• 1:09:25
  with
• 1:09:26
  your
• 1:09:26
  partner.
• 1:09:26
  Like,
• 1:09:27
  how
• 1:09:27
  can
• 1:09:27
  you
• 1:09:28
  healthily,
• 1:09:28
  healthily
• 1:09:29
  help
• 1:09:29
  your
• 1:09:30
  kids.
• 1:09:30
  Yeah.
• 1:09:31
  With
• 1:09:31
  your
• 1:09:31
  kids.
• 1:09:31
  Yeah.
• 1:09:32
  And
• 1:09:32
  so,
• 1:09:33
  like,
• 1:09:33
  that
• 1:09:33
  would
• 1:09:33
  be
• 1:09:33
  interesting
• 1:09:34
  for
• 1:09:34
  me
• 1:09:34
  is
• 1:09:34
  like,
• 1:09:34
  how,
• 1:09:35
  as
• 1:09:35
  a
• 1:09:35
  parent,
• 1:09:35
  can
• 1:09:35
  you
• 1:09:36
  help
• 1:09:36
  instill,
• 1:09:37
  like,
• 1:09:37
  a
• 1:09:37
  healthy
• 1:09:38
  knowledge?
• 1:09:39
  Because
• 1:09:39
  as
• 1:09:40
  we
• 1:09:40
  all
• 1:09:40
  say,
• 1:09:40
  we
• 1:09:40
  don't
• 1:09:41
  want
• 1:09:41
  our
• 1:09:41
  kids
• 1:09:41
  to
• 1:09:41
  just
• 1:09:41
  go
• 1:09:41
  learn
• 1:09:42
  on
• 1:09:42
  the
• 1:09:42
  Internet
• 1:09:42
  or
• 1:09:42
  least
• 1:09:42
  at.
• 1:09:42
  At
• 1:09:43
  school.
• 1:09:43
  Yeah.
• 1:09:43
  So
• 1:09:44
  there's
• 1:09:44
  gotta
• 1:09:44
  be
• 1:09:45
  a
• 1:09:45
  healthy
• 1:09:45
  balance
• 1:09:46
  that
• 1:09:46
  you
• 1:09:46
  know,
• 1:09:46
  we
• 1:09:47
  need
• 1:09:47
  to
• 1:09:47
  know.
• 1:09:48
  Yeah,
• 1:09:48
  there
• 1:09:48
  is.
• 1:09:49
  Absolutely.
• 1:09:49
  Yeah.
• 1:09:50
  There's.
• 1:09:50
  There's
• 1:09:50
  so
• 1:09:51
  much
• 1:09:51
  that
• 1:09:52
  we
• 1:09:52
  can
• 1:09:52
  talk
• 1:09:53
  about.
• 1:09:53
  And
• 1:09:53
  I
• 1:09:53
  think
• 1:09:53
  it
• 1:09:54
  starts
• 1:09:54
  with
• 1:09:54
  just
• 1:09:54
  normalizing
• 1:09:55
  terms
• 1:09:55
  and
• 1:09:56
  not
• 1:09:56
  feeling
• 1:09:57
  right.
• 1:09:57
  Like,
• 1:09:58
  kids
• 1:09:58
  are
• 1:09:58
  sponges.
• 1:09:59
  They
• 1:09:59
  just
• 1:09:59
  absorb
• 1:09:59
  whatever
• 1:10:00
  we're
• 1:10:00
  feeling
• 1:10:01
  or
• 1:10:01
  projecting.
• 1:10:02
  And
• 1:10:02
  so
• 1:10:04
  like
• 1:10:04
  when
• 1:10:04
  I,
• 1:10:04
  when
• 1:10:05
  parents
• 1:10:05
  come
• 1:10:05
  and
• 1:10:05
  they
• 1:10:06
  ask
• 1:10:06
  me
• 1:10:06
  that,
• 1:10:06
  like,
• 1:10:06
  how
• 1:10:07
  do
• 1:10:07
  I
• 1:10:07
  teach
• 1:10:07
  my
• 1:10:07
  kid
• 1:10:08
  to
• 1:10:08
  not
• 1:10:08
  feel
• 1:10:09
  shame
• 1:10:09
  about
• 1:10:10
  sex
• 1:10:10
  like
• 1:10:10
  I
• 1:10:10
  had?
• 1:10:11
  And
• 1:10:11
  the
• 1:10:12
  response
• 1:10:12
  is,
• 1:10:13
  you
• 1:10:13
  gotta,
• 1:10:13
  you
• 1:10:13
  gotta
• 1:10:14
  resolve
• 1:10:14
  your
• 1:10:14
  shame
• 1:10:15
  because
• 1:10:15
  your
• 1:10:16
  shame
• 1:10:16
  is
• 1:10:16
  what
• 1:10:16
  you're
• 1:10:16
  projecting
• 1:10:17
  onto
• 1:10:17
  them
• 1:10:17
  and
• 1:10:18
  they're
• 1:10:18
  absorbing
• 1:10:18
  that.
• 1:10:19
  So,
• 1:10:19
  like,
• 1:10:19
  your
• 1:10:20
  own
• 1:10:20
  work
• 1:10:20
  and
• 1:10:21
  healing
• 1:10:21
  process
• 1:10:22
  is
• 1:10:22
  healing
• 1:10:23
  for
• 1:10:23
  them.
• 1:10:23
  It's
• 1:10:24
  teaching
• 1:10:24
  them.
• 1:10:25
  You
• 1:10:25
  know
• 1:10:25
  what
• 1:10:26
  I
• 1:10:26
  mean?
• 1:10:26
  Which
• 1:10:26
  is
• 1:10:26
  very
• 1:10:26
  empowering.
• 1:10:28
  That
• 1:10:28
  aligns
• 1:10:28
  with
• 1:10:29
  what
• 1:10:29
  it
• 1:10:29
  does.
• 1:10:30
  Walker
• 1:10:31
  said
• 1:10:31
  it's
• 1:10:32
  perfect.
• 1:10:32
  I
• 1:10:32
  just
• 1:10:32
  really
• 1:10:33
  liked
• 1:10:33
  how
• 1:10:33
  you
• 1:10:33
  said
• 1:10:34
  your
• 1:10:34
  own
• 1:10:34
  work,
• 1:10:34
  work
• 1:10:35
  is
• 1:10:35
  healing
• 1:10:36
  for
• 1:10:36
  them.
• 1:10:36
  And
• 1:10:36
  yeah,
• 1:10:37
  I
• 1:10:38
  liked
• 1:10:38
  it.
• 1:10:38
  But
• 1:10:38
  yeah,
• 1:10:38
  you're
• 1:10:39
  right.
• 1:10:39
  Yeah.
• 1:10:40
  Now
• 1:10:40
  I
• 1:10:41
  will
• 1:10:41
  say
• 1:10:41
  me
• 1:10:41
  trying
• 1:10:41
  to
• 1:10:42
  explain
• 1:10:43
  periods
• 1:10:44
  to
• 1:10:44
  Amelia,
• 1:10:44
  I
• 1:10:45
  feel
• 1:10:45
  like
• 1:10:45
  I
• 1:10:45
  traumatized
• 1:10:46
  her.
• 1:10:46
  I
• 1:10:46
  was
• 1:10:46
  like,
• 1:10:47
  oh
• 1:10:47
  my
• 1:10:47
  God.
• 1:10:49
  My
• 1:10:49
  sister
• 1:10:49
  in
• 1:10:50
  law
• 1:10:50
  said
• 1:10:50
  that
• 1:10:50
  she
• 1:10:51
  told
• 1:10:51
  her
• 1:10:51
  daughter
• 1:10:52
  about
• 1:10:52
  it
• 1:10:52
  and
• 1:10:53
  she
• 1:10:53
  goes,
• 1:10:54
  she
• 1:10:54
  just
• 1:10:54
  sat
• 1:10:55
  there
• 1:10:55
  with
• 1:10:55
  wide
• 1:10:55
  eyes
• 1:10:55
  and
• 1:10:56
  at
• 1:10:56
  the
• 1:10:56
  end
• 1:10:56
  she
• 1:10:56
  goes,
• 1:10:57
  are
• 1:10:58
  you
• 1:10:58
  okay?
• 1:10:58
  And
• 1:10:59
  she
• 1:10:59
  said,
• 1:11:00
  is
• 1:11:01
  anyone
• 1:11:01
  ever
• 1:11:01
  okay
• 1:11:02
  after
• 1:11:02
  that?
• 1:11:03
  Oh,
• 1:11:03
  my
• 1:11:04
  gosh.
• 1:11:05
  Sounds
• 1:11:05
  about
• 1:11:05
  right.
• 1:11:06
  That's
• 1:11:06
  about
• 1:11:06
  how
• 1:11:07
  it
• 1:11:07
  went.
• 1:11:08
  Yeah.
• 1:11:08
  I,
• 1:11:09
  I
• 1:11:09
  remember
• 1:11:09
  being
• 1:11:09
  in
• 1:11:10
  sixth
• 1:11:10
  grade
• 1:11:10
  and
• 1:11:10
  having
• 1:11:11
  the
• 1:11:12
  like,
• 1:11:12
  you
• 1:11:12
  know,
• 1:11:13
  we
• 1:11:13
  got
• 1:11:13
  separated
• 1:11:14
  for.
• 1:11:14
  Into.
• 1:11:14
  Into.
• 1:11:15
  Apparently
• 1:11:15
  they
• 1:11:16
  don't
• 1:11:16
  do
• 1:11:16
  that
• 1:11:16
  anymore.
• 1:11:17
  My
• 1:11:17
  kids
• 1:11:17
  said
• 1:11:17
  that
• 1:11:18
  they've
• 1:11:18
  never
• 1:11:18
  gotten
• 1:11:19
  that.
• 1:11:20
  Oh
• 1:11:20
  my
• 1:11:20
  gosh.
• 1:11:21
  Yeah,
• 1:11:22
  well,
• 1:11:23
  that's
• 1:11:23
  really
• 1:11:23
  scary.
• 1:11:24
  Yeah.
• 1:11:24
  Yeah.
• 1:11:25
  And.
• 1:11:25
  And
• 1:11:26
  my
• 1:11:26
  response
• 1:11:26
  was
• 1:11:26
  like,
• 1:11:26
  why
• 1:11:27
  did
• 1:11:27
  you
• 1:11:27
  separate
• 1:11:27
  every.
• 1:11:28
  All
• 1:11:28
  the
• 1:11:28
  boy.
• 1:11:29
  The
• 1:11:29
  boys
• 1:11:29
  and
• 1:11:29
  the
• 1:11:29
  girls
• 1:11:30
  need
• 1:11:30
  to
• 1:11:30
  know
• 1:11:30
  about
• 1:11:30
  each
• 1:11:31
  other's
• 1:11:31
  bodies,
• 1:11:32
  be
• 1:11:32
  able
• 1:11:32
  to
• 1:11:32
  respect
• 1:11:33
  and
• 1:11:33
  understand
• 1:11:34
  and
• 1:11:34
  have
• 1:11:35
  empathy
• 1:11:35
  for
• 1:11:36
  the
• 1:11:36
  experience
• 1:11:37
  of
• 1:11:38
  just
• 1:11:38
  like
• 1:11:38
  aging
• 1:11:39
  and
• 1:11:39
  growing
• 1:11:40
  and
• 1:11:40
  sex.
• 1:11:41
  And
• 1:11:41
  I
• 1:11:41
  don't,
• 1:11:42
  I
• 1:11:42
  don't
• 1:11:42
  understand
• 1:11:43
  the,
• 1:11:43
  the
• 1:11:44
  omission
• 1:11:44
  of
• 1:11:45
  critical
• 1:11:45
  information
• 1:11:46
  that
• 1:11:46
  our
• 1:11:46
  kids
• 1:11:47
  need
• 1:11:47
  to
• 1:11:47
  just
• 1:11:47
  understand
• 1:11:48
  themselves.
• 1:11:49
  You
• 1:11:49
  know
• 1:11:49
  what
• 1:11:50
  I
• 1:11:50
  mean?
• 1:11:50
  My
• 1:11:51
  initial
• 1:11:51
  argument
• 1:11:52
  is
• 1:11:52
  like,
• 1:11:52
  if
• 1:11:52
  I
• 1:11:52
  have
• 1:11:53
  a
• 1:11:53
  son,
• 1:11:53
  I
• 1:11:53
  obviously
• 1:11:54
  don't
• 1:11:54
  want
• 1:11:54
  him
• 1:11:54
  to
• 1:11:55
  see
• 1:11:55
  like
• 1:11:56
  a
• 1:11:56
  naked
• 1:11:56
  female
• 1:11:57
  body.
• 1:11:57
  But
• 1:11:58
  like,
• 1:11:58
  obviously
• 1:11:58
  you're
• 1:11:58
  using
• 1:11:59
  like
• 1:11:59
  cartoon,
• 1:12:00
  you
• 1:12:00
  know,
• 1:12:01
  figures
• 1:12:01
  and
• 1:12:01
  examples
• 1:12:02
  and
• 1:12:02
  models
• 1:12:02
  of
• 1:12:02
  like,
• 1:12:02
  what.
• 1:12:03
  How
• 1:12:03
  the
• 1:12:03
  female
• 1:12:03
  body
• 1:12:04
  changes.
• 1:12:04
  And
• 1:12:04
  so
• 1:12:05
  my
• 1:12:05
  argument
• 1:12:05
  is
• 1:12:05
  immediately
• 1:12:06
  like,
• 1:12:06
  well,
• 1:12:06
  it's
• 1:12:06
  inappropriate.
• 1:12:07
  Like,
• 1:12:07
  my
• 1:12:07
  son
• 1:12:08
  doesn't
• 1:12:08
  need
• 1:12:08
  to
• 1:12:08
  be
• 1:12:08
  seeing
• 1:12:09
  that.
• 1:12:09
  But
• 1:12:09
  then
• 1:12:09
  at
• 1:12:09
  the
• 1:12:10
  same
• 1:12:10
  time,
• 1:12:10
  it's
• 1:12:10
  like,
• 1:12:12
  then.
• 1:12:13
  And
• 1:12:13
  plus,
• 1:12:13
  then
• 1:12:14
  there's
• 1:12:14
  the
• 1:12:14
  side
• 1:12:14
  of
• 1:12:14
  like,
• 1:12:14
  well,
• 1:12:15
  boys
• 1:12:15
  are
• 1:12:15
  just
• 1:12:16
  really
• 1:12:16
  immature.
• 1:12:16
  And
• 1:12:18
  because
• 1:12:18
  we
• 1:12:18
  let
• 1:12:18
  them
• 1:12:18
  be,
• 1:12:19
  we
• 1:12:19
  let
• 1:12:19
  them
• 1:12:19
  be
• 1:12:20
  if
• 1:12:20
  we
• 1:12:20
  didn't
• 1:12:21
  separate
• 1:12:21
  them
• 1:12:22
  and
• 1:12:22
  made
• 1:12:22
  them
• 1:12:23
  understand,
• 1:12:24
  like
• 1:12:24
  the
• 1:12:24
  female
• 1:12:24
  body.
• 1:12:25
  And
• 1:12:25
  like,
• 1:12:25
  this
• 1:12:25
  is
• 1:12:25
  normal.
• 1:12:26
  And
• 1:12:26
  that
• 1:12:26
  it's
• 1:12:27
  not
• 1:12:27
  respected.
• 1:12:29
  Yes.
• 1:12:29
  Like,
• 1:12:30
  that
• 1:12:30
  would
• 1:12:30
  also
• 1:12:31
  solve
• 1:12:31
  so
• 1:12:31
  many
• 1:12:31
  problems.
• 1:12:32
  Greed.
• 1:12:33
  Yeah.
• 1:12:34
  I
• 1:12:34
  like,
• 1:12:34
  I
• 1:12:35
  remember
• 1:12:35
  going,
• 1:12:36
  we,
• 1:12:36
  we
• 1:12:36
  travel
• 1:12:37
  a
• 1:12:37
  lot
• 1:12:38
  and
• 1:12:38
  so
• 1:12:38
  we'll,
• 1:12:39
  we'll
• 1:12:39
  go
• 1:12:39
  to
• 1:12:40
  other
• 1:12:40
  countries
• 1:12:40
  and
• 1:12:40
  they're
• 1:12:41
  like,
• 1:12:41
  you
• 1:12:41
  know,
• 1:12:41
  we
• 1:12:42
  just
• 1:12:42
  went
• 1:12:42
  to
• 1:12:42
  Japan
• 1:12:42
  and
• 1:12:42
  there
• 1:12:43
  were
• 1:12:43
  onsens
• 1:12:44
  that
• 1:12:44
  were.
• 1:12:45
  Everybody
• 1:12:46
  went
• 1:12:46
  together.
• 1:12:46
  All
• 1:12:47
  the
• 1:12:47
  kids,
• 1:12:47
  the
• 1:12:48
  adults,
• 1:12:48
  the
• 1:12:48
  male,
• 1:12:49
  female.
• 1:12:49
  It
• 1:12:49
  was
• 1:12:50
  everybody
• 1:12:50
  together
• 1:12:51
  naked.
• 1:12:51
  And
• 1:12:52
  nothing
• 1:12:52
  was
• 1:12:52
  sexualized
• 1:12:53
  because
• 1:12:53
  it's
• 1:12:54
  not
• 1:12:54
  a
• 1:12:54
  sexual
• 1:12:54
  experience.
• 1:12:55
  Right.
• 1:12:55
  And
• 1:12:56
  you
• 1:12:56
  go
• 1:12:56
  to
• 1:12:56
  all
• 1:12:56
  these
• 1:12:57
  other
• 1:12:57
  countries
• 1:12:57
  that
• 1:12:58
  have,
• 1:12:59
  have
• 1:12:59
  done
• 1:12:59
  the
• 1:13:00
  education
• 1:13:00
  without
• 1:13:01
  sexualizing
• 1:13:02
  women
• 1:13:02
  in
• 1:13:02
  particular,
• 1:13:03
  and
• 1:13:04
  it
• 1:13:04
  reduces,
• 1:13:05
  like,
• 1:13:05
  dramatically
• 1:13:07
  reduces
• 1:13:07
  the
• 1:13:08
  sexual
• 1:13:08
  assault
• 1:13:09
  rates
• 1:13:09
  in
• 1:13:09
  those
• 1:13:10
  countries.
• 1:13:11
  And
• 1:13:11
  I
• 1:13:11
  think,
• 1:13:12
  like,
• 1:13:12
  keeping
• 1:13:13
  our
• 1:13:13
  kids
• 1:13:13
  from
• 1:13:14
  this
• 1:13:14
  information
• 1:13:15
  creates
• 1:13:16
  this,
• 1:13:16
  like,
• 1:13:17
  extreme
• 1:13:17
  curiosity
• 1:13:18
  because
• 1:13:19
  it's
• 1:13:19
  considered
• 1:13:20
  taboo
• 1:13:20
  now.
• 1:13:21
  And
• 1:13:21
  we
• 1:13:21
  can
• 1:13:21
  just
• 1:13:22
  eliminate
• 1:13:22
  that
• 1:13:22
  unhealthy
• 1:13:23
  curiosity
• 1:13:24
  by
• 1:13:24
  feeding
• 1:13:24
  them
• 1:13:25
  the
• 1:13:25
  information
• 1:13:26
  in
• 1:13:26
  a
• 1:13:26
  very,
• 1:13:26
  like,
• 1:13:27
  structured
• 1:13:27
  way
• 1:13:28
  rather
• 1:13:28
  than
• 1:13:29
  allowing
• 1:13:29
  them
• 1:13:29
  to
• 1:13:30
  feed
• 1:13:30
  information
• 1:13:31
  to
• 1:13:32
  each
• 1:13:32
  other.
• 1:13:32
  Because
• 1:13:33
  past
• 1:13:33
  age
• 1:13:33
  7,
• 1:13:34
  our
• 1:13:34
  kids
• 1:13:35
  are
• 1:13:35
  most
• 1:13:35
  influenced
• 1:13:36
  by
• 1:13:37
  their
• 1:13:37
  friend
• 1:13:38
  group,
• 1:13:38
  not
• 1:13:38
  by
• 1:13:39
  us
• 1:13:39
  or
• 1:13:40
  parents,
• 1:13:40
  not
• 1:13:41
  by
• 1:13:41
  their,
• 1:13:41
  like,
• 1:13:41
  family
• 1:13:42
  system.
• 1:13:42
  It's
• 1:13:43
  the
• 1:13:43
  kids
• 1:13:43
  that
• 1:13:44
  they
• 1:13:44
  surround
• 1:13:44
  themselves
• 1:13:44
  with.
• 1:13:45
  You
• 1:13:45
  know
• 1:13:45
  what
• 1:13:45
  I
• 1:13:45
  mean?
• 1:13:46
  We
• 1:13:47
  just
• 1:13:47
  need
• 1:13:47
  to
• 1:13:47
  be
• 1:13:47
  a
• 1:13:47
  little
• 1:13:47
  bit
• 1:13:48
  more
• 1:13:48
  in
• 1:13:48
  control
• 1:13:48
  of
• 1:13:49
  what
• 1:13:49
  information
• 1:13:50
  they're.
• 1:13:50
  They're
• 1:13:50
  processing
• 1:13:51
  in
• 1:13:52
  that
• 1:13:52
  respect.
• 1:13:53
  Yeah,
• 1:13:55
  that
• 1:13:55
  makes
• 1:13:55
  sense.
• 1:13:56
  Well,
• 1:13:56
  this
• 1:13:57
  has
• 1:13:57
  been
• 1:13:57
  really
• 1:13:57
  exciting
• 1:13:57
  and
• 1:13:58
  I
• 1:13:58
  always
• 1:13:58
  love
• 1:13:58
  when
• 1:13:58
  we
• 1:13:58
  end
• 1:13:59
  conversations
• 1:13:59
  and
• 1:13:59
  we're
• 1:14:00
  like,
• 1:14:00
  oh
• 1:14:00
  my
• 1:14:00
  God.
• 1:14:00
  But
• 1:14:00
  there's
• 1:14:00
  so
• 1:14:01
  much
• 1:14:01
  more
• 1:14:01
  to
• 1:14:01
  talk
• 1:14:01
  about.
• 1:14:02
  Same.
• 1:14:04
  So
• 1:14:04
  I
• 1:14:04
  am
• 1:14:04
  really
• 1:14:04
  looking
• 1:14:05
  forward
• 1:14:05
  to
• 1:14:05
  setting
• 1:14:06
  up
• 1:14:06
  these
• 1:14:06
  conversations
• 1:14:07
  and
• 1:14:08
  learning
• 1:14:08
  more
• 1:14:09
  that
• 1:14:09
  we
• 1:14:10
  should
• 1:14:10
  know
• 1:14:11
  from
• 1:14:11
  earlier.
• 1:14:12
  Yeah,
• 1:14:13
  we
• 1:14:13
  should.
• 1:14:14
  We're
• 1:14:14
  learning.
• 1:14:14
  We're
• 1:14:15
  trying.
• 1:14:16
  I
• 1:14:16
  will,
• 1:14:17
  I'll
• 1:14:17
  email
• 1:14:17
  both
• 1:14:18
  of
• 1:14:18
  you
• 1:14:18
  the
• 1:14:20
  sexual,
• 1:14:20
  the
• 1:14:20
  stage
• 1:14:21
  scale
• 1:14:22
  and
• 1:14:23
  a
• 1:14:23
  couple
• 1:14:23
  of
• 1:14:23
  the
• 1:14:23
  other
• 1:14:23
  things
• 1:14:24
  that
• 1:14:24
  we
• 1:14:24
  talked
• 1:14:24
  about
• 1:14:24
  today.
• 1:14:25
  And
• 1:14:25
  if
• 1:14:25
  you
• 1:14:25
  have
• 1:14:25
  questions,
• 1:14:25
  let
• 1:14:26
  me
• 1:14:26
  know
• 1:14:26
  if
• 1:14:26
  you
• 1:14:26
  want
• 1:14:26
  to
• 1:14:26
  talk
• 1:14:26
  about.
• 1:14:27
  About
• 1:14:27
  them
• 1:14:27
  again.
• 1:14:30
  Well,
• 1:14:30
  I
• 1:14:30
  have
• 1:14:31
  one
• 1:14:31
  quick
• 1:14:31
  question.
• 1:14:32
  So
• 1:14:32
  you're
• 1:14:33
  based
• 1:14:33
  in
• 1:14:33
  Hawaii.
• 1:14:34
  Like,
• 1:14:34
  are
• 1:14:34
  you
• 1:14:35
  only
• 1:14:35
  taking
• 1:14:35
  clients
• 1:14:36
  who
• 1:14:36
  live
• 1:14:36
  in
• 1:14:36
  your
• 1:14:37
  area?
• 1:14:37
  Good
• 1:14:37
  question.
• 1:14:39
  Yes,
• 1:14:39
  good
• 1:14:39
  question.
• 1:14:39
  So
• 1:14:40
  I'm
• 1:14:40
  licensed
• 1:14:40
  in
• 1:14:41
  Hawaii,
• 1:14:41
  Virginia,
• 1:14:42
  Florida
• 1:14:42
  and
• 1:14:42
  Maryland.
• 1:14:43
  Okay.
• 1:14:44
  And
• 1:14:44
  I
• 1:14:44
  take
• 1:14:44
  coaching
• 1:14:45
  clients
• 1:14:45
  across
• 1:14:46
  the
• 1:14:46
  world.
• 1:14:47
  I
• 1:14:47
  also
• 1:14:47
  do
• 1:14:48
  retreats
• 1:14:48
  in
• 1:14:49
  Hawaii,
• 1:14:49
  like
• 1:14:49
  couples
• 1:14:50
  intimacy
• 1:14:50
  retreats.
• 1:14:51
  And
• 1:14:52
  yeah,
• 1:14:52
  they're
• 1:14:53
  super
• 1:14:53
  fun
• 1:14:53
  in
• 1:14:54
  Hawaii
• 1:14:54
  and
• 1:14:55
  in
• 1:14:55
  Florida
• 1:14:56
  a
• 1:14:56
  couple
• 1:14:56
  of
• 1:14:56
  times
• 1:14:56
  throughout
• 1:14:57
  the
• 1:14:57
  year.
• 1:14:58
  So,
• 1:14:58
  yeah,
• 1:14:58
  I'm
• 1:14:59
  kind
• 1:14:59
  of
• 1:14:59
  everywhere.
• 1:15:00
  That's
• 1:15:01
  awesome.
• 1:15:01
  Where
• 1:15:02
  can
• 1:15:02
  we
• 1:15:02
  learn
• 1:15:02
  about
• 1:15:03
  the
• 1:15:03
  retreats
• 1:15:03
  that
• 1:15:04
  are
• 1:15:04
  upcoming?
• 1:15:05
  Yeah,
• 1:15:06
  so
• 1:15:07
  you
• 1:15:07
  can
• 1:15:07
  head
• 1:15:07
  over
• 1:15:07
  to
• 1:15:07
  my
• 1:15:08
  website,
• 1:15:08
  which
• 1:15:08
  is
• 1:15:08
  bathurst
• 1:15:09
  familytherapy.com.
• 1:15:11
  you
• 1:15:11
  can
• 1:15:11
  see
• 1:15:11
  me
• 1:15:12
  on
• 1:15:12
  Instagram,
• 1:15:13
  which
• 1:15:13
  is
• 1:15:13
  PhD.relationship
• 1:15:15
  I
• 1:15:15
  expert.
• 1:15:16
  Yeah,
• 1:15:16
  we
• 1:15:16
  have
• 1:15:16
  a
• 1:15:16
  whole
• 1:15:17
  bunch
• 1:15:17
  of
• 1:15:17
  services
• 1:15:17
  that
• 1:15:18
  we're
• 1:15:18
  offering
• 1:15:18
  and
• 1:15:18
  the
• 1:15:19
  retreats
• 1:15:19
  are
• 1:15:19
  so
• 1:15:20
  much
• 1:15:20
  fun.
• 1:15:20
  So
• 1:15:21
  check
• 1:15:21
  them
• 1:15:21
  out.
• 1:15:21
  Absolutely.
• 1:15:22
  Oh,
• 1:15:22
  yay.
• 1:15:23
  Wow.
• 1:15:24
  Yeah,
• 1:15:25
  I
• 1:15:25
  will
• 1:15:25
  be
• 1:15:25
  checking.
• 1:15:26
  Do
• 1:15:26
  you
• 1:15:26
  ever
• 1:15:26
  get.
• 1:15:26
  Okay,
• 1:15:26
  one
• 1:15:27
  more.
• 1:15:27
  Do
• 1:15:27
  you
• 1:15:27
  ever
• 1:15:27
  get
• 1:15:27
  single
• 1:15:28
  people
• 1:15:28
  going
• 1:15:28
  on
• 1:15:28
  any
• 1:15:28
  of
• 1:15:29
  those
• 1:15:29
  retreats?
• 1:15:30
  I
• 1:15:30
  have
• 1:15:30
  been
• 1:15:31
  one
• 1:15:31
  for,
• 1:15:31
  yeah.
• 1:15:32
  I've
• 1:15:32
  been
• 1:15:32
  wanting
• 1:15:33
  to
• 1:15:33
  do
• 1:15:33
  a
• 1:15:33
  women's
• 1:15:34
  health
• 1:15:34
  retreat
• 1:15:34
  focused
• 1:15:35
  on
• 1:15:35
  like
• 1:15:36
  body
• 1:15:36
  positivity,
• 1:15:37
  sexual
• 1:15:38
  exploration,
• 1:15:39
  but
• 1:15:39
  just
• 1:15:39
  for
• 1:15:39
  women.
• 1:15:40
  Yeah,
• 1:15:41
  I,
• 1:15:41
  I'd
• 1:15:41
  love
• 1:15:42
  to
• 1:15:42
  do
• 1:15:42
  that
• 1:15:42
  in
• 1:15:42
  the
• 1:15:42
  next
• 1:15:42
  next
• 1:15:42
  year.
• 1:15:43
  I'm
• 1:15:43
  trying
• 1:15:43
  to
• 1:15:43
  find
• 1:15:43
  the
• 1:15:43
  right
• 1:15:44
  fit
• 1:15:44
  co
• 1:15:44
  host
• 1:15:45
  who
• 1:15:45
  can
• 1:15:45
  help
• 1:15:45
  me
• 1:15:45
  with
• 1:15:45
  that.
• 1:15:46
  So
• 1:15:46
  I'll
• 1:15:46
  let
• 1:15:46
  you
• 1:15:47
  guys
• 1:15:47
  know.
• 1:15:47
  Thank
• 1:15:48
  you.
• 1:15:48
  That's
• 1:15:48
  awesome.
• 1:15:49
  Well,
• 1:15:49
  thank
• 1:15:49
  you
• 1:15:49
  so
• 1:15:50
  much
• 1:15:50
  for
• 1:15:50
  joining
• 1:15:50
  us.
• 1:15:51
  It
• 1:15:51
  was
• 1:15:52
  so
• 1:15:52
  good.
• 1:15:53
  It
• 1:15:53
  was
• 1:15:53
  great.
• 1:15:53
  Thank
• 1:15:54
  you
• 1:15:54
  so
• 1:15:54
  much.
• 1:15:54
  Absolutely.
• 1:15:55
  Thank
• 1:15:56
  you.
• 1:15:56
  Aloha.
• 1:15:58
  Oh,
• 1:15:58
  aloha.
• 1:15:59
  And
• 1:15:59
  skirts
• 1:16:00
  out.
• 1:16:05
  Did
• 1:16:05
  you
• 1:16:06
  like
• 1:16:06
  the
• 1:16:06
  episode
• 1:16:06
  that
• 1:16:07
  you
• 1:16:07
  heard
• 1:16:07
  today?
• 1:16:08
  Great.
• 1:16:08
  Share
• 1:16:09
  it
• 1:16:09
  with
• 1:16:09
  a
• 1:16:09
  friend.
• 1:16:10
  And
• 1:16:10
  don't
• 1:16:10
  forget
• 1:16:11
  to
• 1:16:11
  rate
• 1:16:11
  and
• 1:16:12
  review.