Latest / Forged In The Dark / Give It New Meaning
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: That painful memory or most embarrassing moment does not have to live in your memory forever with how it happened. Now, I had a very unique opportunity to reframe a most embarrassing moment that goes all the way back to high school, and I'm going to tell you the whole story. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host Jamie. Let's dig in. what I experienced was so cringe worthy, was so embarrassing. And it it was by no fault of my own. But I would carry this memory with me every single time. Well, I mean, I would carry this memory with me up until recently. And and it's not like the memory goes away, but I had an opportunity to have a completely different experience. And now I get to choose how I remember. One very popular song. we are going to throw all the way back to I can't remember if it was my sophomore year or my junior year Now, in high school I was very insecure and and back then We didn't have the tools and the resources. I didn't have anyone talking to me about self-worth or self-love or valuing yourself. And I didn't have anyone encouraging me to follow things that I loved. I I I was encouraged to not only participate in all of the activities that that my sister did, but I was expected to excel in the same way that she did. And it it just didn't work. So it was this horrible mix that left me just feeling like I didn't belong, feeling like I always wanted to shrink, I always wanted to make myself invisible. But I happened to be a pretty decent singer, and I was part of the select choir. And and part of the select choir meant that I had to do a solo in front of the whole school. Now I didn't go to a high school with you know, 3,500 kids. There were about a thousand of us, but still, I had to do a solo. Completely scared, completely insecure, completely worried about how. Every single person in that audience was going to judge me, but I picked my song, it was a lovely Beatles song. in my life, in my life, I loved you more. Like it was just such a sweet ballad. So I'm on stage, and what happens instead of my music coming on, all of a sudden, it was Gloria. Estefan Conga. Come and shake your body, baby. Do the conga. No, you can't control yourself any longer. Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger. Blaring through the whole auditorium, the whole theater. And as I stood there mortified, the every participant just just roared with laughter. Now What had happened is the booth got the tape on the wrong side. Yes, it was a cassette tape, and they put it on the wrong side. So they did figure this out and they flipped the tape over and they cued the music in the right spot, and I still performed Completely shaken, couldn't breathe, sweating. I did it. But up until a couple weeks ago. Every time I would hear that song, I would cringe. If this song came on where I had control to change it, as soon as I heard that first ooh la la la la la la, like right at the beginning, I'm sure you know the song. If you don't go listen to it, I mean instead of this sweet ballad, you get come and shake your body. Like I I don't know. I don't know how many times I want to retell you the same story. Like I was mortified. So this is probably just about three weeks ago. I was at an event and there were four of us. our job was to set the energy for the event. So we had a plan to get all of these women on their feet and dancing and laughing. And about a minute before the music started, one of the four of us comes running up all excited. my gosh, ladies, I just had the best idea and I got the song changed. And now instead of black-eyed peas, What's the name of the song? Cause tonight's gonna be a good night. I'm just singing all over the place today, right? So that song, I got a feeling. That's what it's called. Instead of I Got a Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas, she said, We are going to do a conga line to Gloria Estefan Conga. And I Froze and I know there must have been a surprise look on my face because all three of them looked at me and said, Jamie, what's wrong? And mind you, the music is going to start now in like 45 seconds. And and I look at them and I give them the most basic cliff notes version of how this song is associated with like one of the most embarrassing moments of my high school career. So here I am in real time with the tools and the knowledge and the wisdom that I have now. And just like that, with 30 seconds to go on stage, I looked at the ladies and I said, you know what? I can do this. I can take this nearly 30 year olds memory and I can give it new meaning. And that is exactly what I did. The music started and my hands went up and my hips are swaying, and I am pulling ladies out of their chairs and getting them in this conga line and shaking my tambourine. And ladies and gentlemen, a a four and a half minute song might not even seem long. You might think four and a half minutes isn't a long time, and it's not. But when you are dancing and getting a crowd going. Sometimes it can seem like it goes forever. But this was not the case. That four and a half minutes was full of laughter and joy and dancing. And the best part is I now have a different experience with that song. I mean, all of these years, I Even told people, I'm like, poor Gloria Estefan. Like, I am never going to support that song. I am always going to hate that song because it is associated with this memory. But now I have a new memory. So anytime I hear that song, I get to choose to not go back to that totally embarrassing, cringe-worthy place in high school. I can go to the event from three weeks ago and remember how much fun I had. I can remember how good of a song it is to do the conga line to. but here's the thing. If if I can do this with a song, an embarrassing memory from high school, what in your life? What hard moment, what embarrassing moment can you recreate? How can you create new experiences to have new memories instead of embarrassing or painful ones? I have a friend, and and his best friend passed, and a few years ago, his sister got him a dog. And she gave it to him on the day his best friend passed. Same concept, deeper meaning, bigger impact. See? Now, now he gets to celebrate his dog's birthday on that day, and he doesn't have to spend so much time reliving the painful memory. We have These opportunities, ladies and gentlemen, every single one of you has something that sits with you, something that has stuck with you, a memory, an experience. That whether it was traumatic and painful, or or or like me, I I want to say just a little embarrassing, but it was more than just a little embarrassing. Like I was mortified. I did not. not want to go to school the next day. Like it nobody ever forgot that Jamie was supposed to sing a sweet song and we got the conga instead. I'm certain that there are people that still remember this. If if I brought it up, you know, in my in my high school's like Facebook group. I I I'm certain. But now I have a different memory. That day, that song has a new Meaning, my friend take one of probably the most painful experiences of his life. And he now gets to celebrate his dog on that day. So I am certain that there is something in your life that you can create an actual reframe to. And this isn't using our thinking mind. This is having a new experience. This is putting your physical body, your mental frame in a similar situation or a situation with the same song and having a completely different outcome. You are so much more powerful than you know. You can stay in that old memory, or you can choose to create a new experience around it. Now I'm excited I got a song back. I now I can't say that I'm going to download it and listen to it all the time, but Anytime I hear it, I have a new meaning for it. And you can do this too. Okay, that's what I have for you today. Until next time.