Latest / DidiLawren / The Game Of Finding Love & Japa-Compatibility – PlanB Escape Hustle

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The Game Of Finding Love & Japa-Compatibility – PlanB Escape Hustle · DidiLawren

• 0:32
  Hello and welcome back to another episode of Untold
• 0:34
  lorenza on DeLorean TV channel. Does celebrate ordinary people
• 0:39
  doing extraordinary things. So please subscribe like share
• 0:44
  and also click on the notification Bell to get
• 0:46
  notified anytime. I post new content.
• 0:49
  So for today's episode, we're going to be talking about a
• 0:52
  topic that has become the norm in Nigeria and that is as a
• 0:56
  result of everybody having Plan B.
• 1:00
  On how to leave Nigeria, how to relocate abroad, we're talking
• 1:04
  about the US the UK, Canada, Australia.
• 1:07
  And in fact, Now everywhere, as long as that person is not just
• 1:14
  making plans to leave Nigeria basically, so this has affected
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  a whole lot of things, and I think the most discussed part of
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  it is people are now choosing Partners based on their
• 1:25
  location. Reason why I'm talking about
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  this is because somebody made it.
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  Twitter online about it and it generated a whole lot of
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  conversation. So let me just read that tweet
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  for you. It was a whole bunch of trees,
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  but the one that actually got my interest was jackpot.
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  Capability is like a priority in the dating space today.
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  I brought us become the core of Attraction and plan B for many
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  many are dating for escape survival and breakthrough, but
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  sadly. Love is taking the Falls
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  responsibility. So this was the budget year on
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  Twitter and this generated a whole lot of conversation.
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  You know, how you have a big elephant in the room that people
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  are not willing to talk about but I think this the sweet kind
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  of open the Pandora Boxx and everybody said that sharing
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  their experiences. Some of the guys share that they
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  are dating their girlfriends, you know, maybe after you
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  service they meet they were planning but Cuz, you know, the
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  Nigerian facto everybody's looking for job.
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  Everybody's trying to get themselves together before
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  actually getting into marriages. They said, the next thing they
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  were here is one Bubba from abroad, comes back home and tell
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  these girls they want to marry them.
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  And we didn't have the space of two weeks.
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  They get married to these people and they go back abroad.
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  Some of them, they start making plans to take.
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  This ladies and let me just put it out there.
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  Most times, this main are in their late 50s or mid-50s.
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  They have gotten married. They have children.
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  And maybe one reason, or the other, their marriage didn't
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  work out. So the next thing they do is to
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  come back to Nigeria and Marie fresh blood fresh young, you
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  know, sexy, somebody that I think I don't even know why they
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  do it, but On the conversations online.
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  Some of them said well these people do it because they want
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  to pay their first wife to show them that.
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  Okay. I can marry somebody, you know,
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  half your age. I can get somebody half my age.
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  I still got it. I can get married to whoever I
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  want to get married to regardless.
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  But on the other side of the fence is the ladies who they get
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  married to. These are young girls.
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  These are That are looking for maybe jobs.
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  They're trying to get their foot in.
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  These are just young adults trying to navigate the, the
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  Nigerian system. And this old man, come back,
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  married them, and almost immediately, they file for them
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  to relocate abroad. So this has generated a whole
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  lot of conversation, not just on the female side, but also on the
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  male side, some of the mail are Dating People based on their
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  location. So let's say, man that has the
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  year, you know, you have to have that need to travel.
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  So they need only some of them days.
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  Only people that are in u.s. The UK like Canada or Australia.
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  Those kind of places maybe that they want to travel to.
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  So, they are dating pool. It's not even within the
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  Nigerian Circle, even if they are dating somebody in Nigeria,
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  they don't even Take that person.
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  Seriously, don't get married or they're just like one leg in and
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  one leg out. And as soon as they find
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  somebody that is in abroad, they get serious that person the
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  proposed and they start processing their papers and they
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  join their wives. So it's no longer or I am dating
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  because I met this person. I mean, I have no saying you
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  cannot love somebody from a distance.
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  That's not the point. People fall in love differently,
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  you can meet somebody. You can talk to somebody over
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  the phone. You can fall in love with that
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  voice. You can see a picture and it is
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  love at first sight. I mean, Idris Elba.
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  Oh, oh Denzel Washington. I mean to the old man bore, you
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  know, you get the point so they fall in love based on what they
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  are hearing based on what they are seeing and most times when
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  these people are coming back home.
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  Especially since I live abroad and I have a lot of, I know a
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  lot of people who travel back home and before they travel the
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  take extra shifts, the you know, kind of become full go with your
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  finances. Just to ensure that the save
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  money that they're going to spend in Nigeria, the use credit
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  card to purchase all the whole lot of things so that they look
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  like they have to look the parts because in Nigeria, if you are
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  abroad, Add your automatically, believe that you have money.
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  I mean, you have to have it together, you are in impound,
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  your and in dollars, une Vue rules.
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  So they just feel that, yes, that person have, you know,
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  everything that they need and the people living abroad.
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  On the other hand, if they're traveling back home.
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  They ensure that they lose the past, the embody, all these
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  things that people are expecting to see.
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  So when they get back home, they meet these people that all they
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  want to do. Is to travel.
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  So, it's like a transactional. Something.
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  I am not saying that, is it for everybody, but most times is for
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  somebody that wants to travel approach and they meet somebody
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  who just returned from abroad, regardless of, if that chemists
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  are going to fake it, regardless of whether the chemistry's
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  there, regardless of whether this is their type, or this is
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  somebody that they want to get married to the accept that.
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  That proposal, they get married to them thinking.
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  Okay the package they are looking at is what they are
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  going to be getting when they get relocated abroad, and this
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  is where the issue is. A lot of people who fall into
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  these categories who have relocated abroad, once they get
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  to the others, the nation, whether us UK, they now realize
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  that life is not what he seems. I mean, we talked about
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  knowledge. Actress and kitchy blessing who
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  met somebody in the UK, honorable fallodon, who she
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  thought you know, is a UK. He was claiming to have his
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  honorable. He is in the British army.
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  He just claimed the whole bunch of things and when she was smart
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  enough to have visited him before the marriage or getting
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  serious with him. And when she visited, she
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  realized that all that. Glitters Is Not good.
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  He was not even half of what he was projecting himself to be,
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  and this is the problem. I mean, there's I don't think
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  there's any issue for somebody to go back home and get married.
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  There's no issue in that. But the problem is a whole lot
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  of people. The expectations are not met.
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  Let's say somebody that is going back home.
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  Let's say man, as going back home to marry somebody and bring
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  her in as a wife. There are women abroad, I'm not
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  under so many women abroad, but for the fact that they want that
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  africanness and what is africanness.
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  We're talking about a woman that is going to be submissive a
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  woman that will give you peace regardless of whatever you're
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  doing. Like, I mean our African
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  mothers, they are husband's cheats and regardless of what
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  the man is doing. They're just happy to be there
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  to be the wife. I found home most of our
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  brothers, if they are going back home to get married.
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  This is the, this is what they have in their heads.
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  They want somebody that is like, their mother.
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  That's has endured everything. And also, some of them, they
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  have, especially the ones in their 50s in their late 50s.
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  They've gotten married here, and then I'm thinking, okay.
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  This person is now westernized, this person is not asking me to
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  wash plates this position. Just give me to cook food.
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  So I no longer want on the all those responsibilities.
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  I now want somebody that is going to be submissive.
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  I want somebody that I can control.
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  So some of our brothers that go back home to marry wives.
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  This is what they want. I am not saying all of them,
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  some of them actually fall in love.
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  Some of them go back to marry somebody debated before so this
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  it doesn't encompass. ADI but I think majority of
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  those going back home, especially those in their 50s.
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  This is what they want. And then the women that they are
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  marrying back home. Most of them are married.
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  People have their age and this ladies are young.
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  They are work. They've been watching YouTube
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  videos. They are no longer like their
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  mother. I think there's a cultural shift
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  there. I think this is where the
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  problem is. You think.
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  You're going back home to Mari and African woman.
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  But the reality is this globalization these women in
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  Africa. They are even more standardized
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  us of us die here. So if you're thinking of going
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  back, home to get exactly what your mother is or was the
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  reality is they are not that they know everything and chances
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  are. Our that for its, you know,
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  somebody that is in our 20s, to marry somebody in half in his
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  50s. Then she has this jackpot
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  mentality. She wants to leave Nigeria by
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  hook or by Crook and you get married to that kind of person,
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  you bring them here and you have projected a certain kind of
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  personality, a certain kind of world around them.
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  You have told them about how you have you listened, people laugh
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  by especially the Aspirins going home.
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  They don't really tell the truth about the situation, especially
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  those ones are looking for and wives.
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  So they have the de spend money. They do talk, all the talks that
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  is required. And then this women have like
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  their, their perception of what they are getting into.
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  But because they've been lied to, they don't have the full
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  picture. So, when they get here and these
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  men are telling them. Well, I spent about Unit seven
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  thousand Pounds to bring you. You have to start working
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  immediately. You have to get a cleaning job.
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  You have to get a key, a job. You have to just support me and
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  they are looking at them. Like why are you stressing me?
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  I am just a wife. I am here to pop out kids.
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  I am here to just sit down, you know, go live on Instagram, do
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  my Tick-Tock. You got.
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  These are two different generation of people.
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  The mod is like no no. No, you don't have to go out and
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  friends. All I need you to do is just to
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  in fact, I don't even need children.
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  I just wanted to help me out to pay all this death stuff and
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  killed to marry you and they don't get it.
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  Women in diaspora going back home to my merry men.
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  Now most times is because they claim they can find husbands in
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  the Aspera. I don't know how true that is,
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  because there are men. Although even the men are
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  thinking, okay. I don't want to marry somebody
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  diaspora because, you know, they are.
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  Why is that they have, they know their rights?
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  Sometimes, these women are not happy to marry somebody,
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  especially let's say somebody that in modernizing diaspora and
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  it's so struggling to get his document.
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  And then you meet a lady who are struggled and has gotten a And
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  she would rather know dates that person who is looking for his
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  documents because there's this on the line.
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  How would I put it? Is this kind of perception that
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  this person is just coming to me because of, they want their
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  documents. So they'd rather go to Nigeria
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  to look for a husband, who is obviously you're trying to get
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  to the US or the UK abroad in general, and the marry that
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  person, the Bring them over thinking.
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  Okay. This person is going to
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  appreciate the fact that I helped them or that is your own
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  perception. That is your own intention and
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  over person, a lady who went back home are either husband
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  brought him here and she was expecting him to, you know,
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  cheese half. It's basically not really kiss
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  our feet in the sense of it, because she Where She Went above
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  and beyond to, I can understand why.
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  She was emotional about it because she borrowed money from
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  the bank to process everything. And when he finally came into
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  the UK, she was expecting him to look really good.
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  She has all this debt to pay which I get.
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  But he was basically trying to, you know, integrating the
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  society, visit friends that he has known from childhood, and
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  she was like, no, no, no, you're not going anywhere.
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  You're not even supposed to be. Be talking to anybody.
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  If they were that good of a friend.
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  They would have helped you relocate.
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  So I did the whole leg work. I did the whole heavyweight.
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  Now, you have to help me to offset all these days that I
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  have gone through. And the man on the other hand,
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  is not even understanding that path because he will.
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  He is thinking, I just go to the UK and I need to go around.
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  I need to visit friends. I need to Tell people, you know,
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  you have to go out, take pictures, go to London.
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  I'll show. That's okay.
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  You've arrived your 90 UK for this woman, or this man is
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  telling you, I have all this debt.
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  I have all this bill. I have moved from a one-bedroom
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  house to two-bedroom house to accommodate you and I need help.
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  I think the whole idea of what body was trying to say is most
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  times people don't date. Or love, especially when they
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  are dating. Somebody in diaspora.
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  Everybody have their intention of, why do you want to date that
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  person? This is why you see, people say.
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  No, they use me for papers or they use me for this or they use
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  me for that. It's not about amusing.
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  Who is using, who is about you. The man in that Spirit, had his
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  intention of going back, home to marry somebody in Nigeria who
• 16:53
  also have the intention of why they are marrying.
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  Somebody. Yeah, age.
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  So if these two people cannot meet in the middle to satisfy or
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  manage the expectation, then there's going to be problem a
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  woman named espera going back home to marry.
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  Somebody in Nigeria. Also, have high own intention of
• 17:14
  why she wants to get married to that person because, you know,
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  she doesn't want to give somebody paper in the dashboard
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  I think in, okay? Somebody in Nigeria is going to
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  be more appreciative and that person in Nigeria the mine and
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  yours, too. Thinking, I just want to leave
• 17:28
  this country. I cannot marry my girlfriend
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  because I don't want to have my children in Nigeria, and then
• 17:35
  you're proposing that offer to them to relocate, whether
• 17:39
  they're in love with you or not. They think, okay, this love is
• 17:42
  going to grow. And then when they get here and
• 17:46
  you do, these are two cultural this cultural Clash, this whole
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  lot of things. There's lack of because I think
• 17:54
  one thing that people don't understand is Everybody have
• 17:57
  their plan or why do you want to travel?
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  So, if my plan is to travel build house in Nigeria, make
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  sure that everybody knows that, you know, I have arrived and
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  you're marrying. That kind of man who is
• 18:15
  thinking, I want to help my family and a woman and that's
• 18:19
  where his marines that kind of person thinking, once he gets
• 18:23
  his going to help me out with everything that I have.
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  We known and that person is busy sending his money back home.
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  That is going to cause problems. So thank you very much for
• 18:33
  watching. Today's episode.
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  The only question I want to ask now is, do you think that people
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  in diaspora going back home to my readers in Nigeria, have an
• 18:43
  ulterior motive for doing that either because you want somebody
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  to control either because they want somebody to be submissive.
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  And I don't want somebody to be grateful for the fact that they
• 18:54
  help them out of Nigeria. Or do you think those in
• 18:58
  Nigeria, have an even bigger ulterior motive for Mario's in
• 19:02
  diaspora? Because they think, okay,
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  regardless of that. I'm in love with this person.
• 19:08
  I just want to leave the injera. I just want to Jack Ma.
• 19:11
  I just want to get out of this country and when I get to the UK
• 19:16
  o us or whatever, I would sort myself out and if this union
• 19:22
  doesn't work, who is to blame, so let me know.
• 19:26
  Know your thoughts and let me know your view and thank you
• 19:28
  very much for watching. Today's episode.
• 19:30
  See ya. Bye.