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Long Pauses · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mama's how
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: do you deal with people who pause for a really
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: long time while speaking simple sentences? Oh oh, we'll ask
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: our American mamas.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Mamma, mama.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: And joining us now.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Our American mama is Terry Nedville and Kimberly Burlason. I
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: have a friend from high school. We are still very
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: very close. Uh, you know, just call each other anytime
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we want. But it's more fun to text him because
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: talking on the phone takes oh gosh, oh.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, I can't.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hurts here, and you do that in a hot flash.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: So Terry and I are married to severe pausers. Severe pausers,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: they go long a long period. Mike the other day
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I asked him a question nothing, He said nothing. I'd
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: say full minute. I said, oh my gosh, just respond,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: just make a sound, and he goes so. Since then
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I'll say something to him, He'll go hum, thinking he's
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: so funny. But the funniest thing to watch is Terry
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: and Kevin, because Kevin is a severe pauser and she
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I say Kevin is the worst and then and then
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Micah's second tier. But Terry is completely opposite of that.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: She goes into panic mode with any pause. So if
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: we're with if we're with friends, that's a pauser. Terry
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: goes into panic mode and then it becomes a one
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: woman show. She's like, you know, I don't.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Know what it is. It's like, you know, he's an
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: extension of me. So when he's my kids and I
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: we make fun all the time because we're like, oh
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: my god, get it out, get it out. And so
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it is about a pause. I
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: feel like I need to fill the air for him.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: But the worst one was when we were with that
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: we were at a party. We were at a Christmas
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: party or something, and somebody, you know, they're talking and
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Kevin's very interesting and especially if you get him on
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: the topic of hunting or things like that. But if
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: it but then there comes this point where somebody will
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: ask him a question. We're all around and and I'm
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: you know, listening, I'm like watching him, and it's the
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: pause is going and I'm looking at everyone like it's coming,
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: it's coming up, and then i start getting that that
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: cringe feeling on the inside. I'm like, I'm like and
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I said, I said, give a second. I said, he's thinking,
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: and Kevin said, what did you just say? Like I
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: stood in to try to explain why he was pausing
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: because I was dying. I was like, Kevin, and if
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: it's on the phone, I like, take off speaker. Take
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I can't handle it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: The second hand cringe like yes, because both of our
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: husbands talk to their moms on speaker.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Yes, I can't, can't. I'm like, cannot, please take it
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: off time. She just asked you the question. She needs
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: to know you're still there, that you're still breathing, and
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: if she knows I'm on speaker, then I jump in
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: and go, oh, the kids are great, you know. She'll say, well,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: how how is summer?
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: And then he hands you the phone.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: No, no, he has a speaker, and he's like he's nodding.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: He's not he's coming Like I die, I'm like, what
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: what is what is that? He says, I'm formulating my
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: thought And he said that's what you do here. You
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: speak before you think, and sometimes that backfires. And I said, well,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I would rather that because when you when you're sit
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: there and you're like in this catatonic state for literally
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: thirty seconds, if people are looking around, if you're still alive.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I die, I die on the spot, down the spot,
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: sweat right now. I know can't handle it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I can't handle it.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Are you a pausive? No, you feel the air. You're
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: like me, you can't handle it. You know.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I'm a bit of a happy medium in that, in
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: that you let people. I will let people pause and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I will wait for it. And I certainly understand.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Well, if it's someone else, I'll let them all day long.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: But if it's wait a minute.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: When you pause, you let it be known you're pausing
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: because you're thinking, yeah, yes, I can handle that. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Then because not a lot of times, I want to
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: be very careful with my words. At times I want
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: to be very specific with my words, and so I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: will tell people hold on just a second, and so
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I will I will pause.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, but if it's your mother asking about how the
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: kids are doing, you don't need to pause. So that's
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It's like everyday conversation. Well, how about Wendy.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Is she a pauser?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: No, Wendy's she's just not the talker. Yeah, So if
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: someone asked Wendy a question, I may answer now.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: And if i'm thinking about it, mom, was a mom
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: was a pause. She would formulate her thoughts. She was
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: so wise and it didn't bother me. And Dad was
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: the one that would fill the air, usually with humor.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: So if it goes too long, it's there's usually humor.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: That's usually kind of how I combat anything that's uncomfortable.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: But if I'm talking to somebody else, because I love
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: to get someone else's story, I do let them pause.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: If you don't care, I don't. I don't. It's it's
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: not my husband, and I know they're formulating something. It's
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: just this weird thing I have with Kevin. Even the
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: kids will be like, like when they're getting off the phone,
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I'll hear steal or sligh going okay, and and Kevin
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: will go all right, and they'll go, well, I guess
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: i'll talk to you later. I'm like, oh my god,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: just tell them you got to go. I can't take
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: it off speaker. I don't want to be a part
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: of this. I don't want to be a part of this.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: It's second hand cringe factor for you is I don't
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: know what it is.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: But only with with Kevin is there there's no one
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: you're you're not bothered by Mike.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: No.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: And I'm not bothered by Kevin.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I know how Ken, I'm not.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Bothered by you. You do that all your pausor like,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: but but I know, but you tell us your pa,
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: You're like, you'll go hold on, hold on, that's all
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: you got to say, say hold on, well hold on.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I can't do it.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: To ask our American mumbles a question, go our website
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: America gar ready to com slash Mama isn't click on
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: the ask the Mamas button teared down If kimb really
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: rob this and thank you so much, thank you,