Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 33 - You Minding Your Own Business When Comes Putting Yourself First.

Transcript

Episode 33 - You Minding Your Own Business When Comes Putting Yourself First. · You Minding Your Own Business

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello and Bud. Welcome to you.
0:05
Speaker 2: Minding your Own Business and with self Respect leads to
0:07
Speaker 2: self Love radio podcast. I'm your Scottess as she Mary.
0:11
Speaker 2: I'm'a thank you guys for joining me for this episode.
0:14
Speaker 2: If you guys like to commentary and wanna hear more,
0:16
Speaker 2: please go to Sprinka dot com forward slash Minding Your
0:20
Speaker 2: You Minding your Own Business radio podcast and also with
0:24
Speaker 2: self respect leads to self love.
0:26
Speaker 1: If you wanna hear all of my podcasts, please.
0:28
Speaker 2: Go to my name A Saha m A R I
0:32
Speaker 2: am A and you'll see all my podcasts. A little
0:35
Speaker 2: bit about me. I'm'a Certify Recovery Healing your Recovery Coach.
0:38
Speaker 2: It's all about helping people on their past and journeys
0:42
Speaker 2: when it comes to self respect, when it comes to
0:44
Speaker 2: self love, self confidence, respecting yourself and most most importantly
0:49
Speaker 2: your confidence. But also when it comes to minding your
0:53
Speaker 2: own business and instead of worrying like by everybody else,
0:56
Speaker 2: being like everybody else, and thinking like everybody else, and
0:59
Speaker 2: becoming like your body else, lowering yourself for other people
1:02
Speaker 2: that's not worth you. You basically building yourself up and
1:06
Speaker 2: finding happiness within yourself finding peace quite in tranquility within yourself.
1:12
Speaker 2: So if you also want to basically do where sponsorships,
1:18
Speaker 2: if you want to be a guest on my podcast,
1:21
Speaker 2: if you want to basically essentially just send me Dear
1:25
Speaker 2: Austion letters emails, let me know what you're going through.
1:29
Speaker 2: That way I can help one on one coaching things
1:31
Speaker 2: like that. You can go to a s h N
1:34
Speaker 2: dot M A r I A M A zero one
1:37
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. That's a s h dot M
1:40
Speaker 2: A r I A M A zero one at gmail
1:43
Speaker 2: dot com. I decided to combine these two podcasts today
1:47
Speaker 2: because there's a reason why. The past couple of days,
1:52
Speaker 2: the past few weeks, I have been on this journey
1:57
Speaker 2: and right now I'm on a physical journey. I'm one
1:59
Speaker 2: of the last part of my recovery, and it's been
2:03
Speaker 2: ups and downs when it comes to my health and wellness.
2:05
Speaker 2: Some days I have good days, other days I have,
2:08
Speaker 2: you know, bad days. It just depends on how it goes.
2:12
Speaker 2: Cause today was a bad day cause my whole entire
2:16
Speaker 2: right side of my s my shoulder hurts. So I'm
2:19
Speaker 2: just kind of like trying to r rest it and
2:21
Speaker 2: take some moltra and to get it better.
2:23
Speaker 1: So it's just been a rough couple of days.
2:28
Speaker 2: But what I wanna talk about is why is it
2:31
Speaker 2: that we' it's hard to put everybody else in front
2:33
Speaker 2: of ourselves and we don't put ourselves first.
2:38
Speaker 1: The one thing.
2:38
Speaker 2: That's the hardest thing for some people to do is
2:41
Speaker 2: put themselves first. And there are a lot of people
2:44
Speaker 2: that will absolutely put themselves first and want everybody else
2:47
Speaker 2: to bow down to them. So you always have two
2:51
Speaker 2: different types of people. It's always gonna be the haves
2:54
Speaker 2: and the have nots. It's always gonna be the the
2:56
Speaker 2: attractive and the unattractive. It'll always be the excite people
3:00
Speaker 2: versus the boring people, smart versus dumb. So no matter what,
3:05
Speaker 2: you're always gonna have two different types of people. The
3:09
Speaker 2: problem is is that you don't accept the side of
3:13
Speaker 2: yourself that you're in. Let me tell you why it
3:17
Speaker 2: don't bother me no more about this stuff, no more,
3:20
Speaker 2: and why I don't care anything about it, which was
3:22
Speaker 2: a part of my recovery. People always ask me, they said,
3:25
Speaker 2: you're such a pretty girl and you should be married,
3:29
Speaker 2: and mm mm that wasn't my destiny, And I wish
3:34
Speaker 2: I I would have kept that mentality at twenty one,
3:37
Speaker 2: cause I got pregnant twenty one, But my mentality was
3:41
Speaker 2: actually that well, my ex passed away and then I
3:44
Speaker 2: went through getting you know, essayed twice, and then you know,
3:49
Speaker 2: I met two of the guys whore. I even met
3:52
Speaker 2: my son's father, well three before I met my son's father.
3:55
Speaker 2: What's crazy about it all is if I never went
3:59
Speaker 2: over there tonight, I probably never got pregnant. And I
4:02
Speaker 2: always wondered would it have been like if I wouldn't
4:06
Speaker 2: have went over there to night, I probably if I'd
4:09
Speaker 2: known then what I know now, would probably would have
4:11
Speaker 2: traveled the world, would have probably constantly been gone. I
4:16
Speaker 2: would have appreciated the fact that I didn't have any kids.
4:19
Speaker 2: I didn't even want kids at that time, but you know,
4:23
Speaker 2: I had just tried to end my life and then
4:27
Speaker 2: my beautiful twenty nine year old kid came into my.
4:31
Speaker 1: World and changed everything. So he was here for a reason.
4:36
Speaker 2: But if I would have went back, and I know
4:39
Speaker 2: then what I know now, who's be at fifty one,
4:43
Speaker 2: I would have been on cruises alone.
4:45
Speaker 1: Time ago.
4:47
Speaker 2: I would have been in the car traveling the world.
4:52
Speaker 2: I would have started a business at a young age.
4:54
Speaker 2: I probably would have wrote a book at a young age.
4:58
Speaker 2: But See, unlike some people have those same type of inspiration,
5:02
Speaker 2: people that really just said you can do it. I
5:05
Speaker 2: always had people that always tell me I had to
5:06
Speaker 2: be practical. I was always a practical one, but I
5:10
Speaker 2: was never meant to be practical. See, when you start
5:13
Speaker 2: allowing people to label you, that's when you hold yourself back.
5:17
Speaker 2: When you allow people to lower you by telling you
5:20
Speaker 2: in order to get married, you have to lower yourself,
5:23
Speaker 2: you have to change everything about you. That's when it
5:26
Speaker 2: becomes a problem. When you're sitting up here trying to
5:29
Speaker 2: be a part of a world that you really don't
5:31
Speaker 2: belong in, trying to get people to accept you that
5:34
Speaker 2: probably never will. It ain't worth it, it really ain't. It
5:39
Speaker 2: ain't worth it at all. But I get it though
5:43
Speaker 2: done wrong, I absolutely do. But does it make it
5:46
Speaker 2: worth it to do so? The answer is no, it
5:51
Speaker 2: ain't worth it, but I get it. So when you're
5:55
Speaker 2: sitting here and you let go of the labels, you
5:58
Speaker 2: let go of what other people think about you, and
6:01
Speaker 2: you just worry about what you think about yourself, and
6:05
Speaker 2: you start believing in yourself and finding that confidence to
6:09
Speaker 2: continue doing what you're doing. But for example, let's say
6:14
Speaker 2: you are a ch you wanna be a cheerleader, right,
6:17
Speaker 2: but the school you're going to they're never gonna accept you.
6:21
Speaker 2: Don't even try to create something that is of your own.
6:26
Speaker 2: So sometimes you gotta create something that is of your
6:28
Speaker 2: own and your people will f will will will come
6:30
Speaker 2: to you. I learn you don't have to go chasing
6:33
Speaker 2: behind something or somebody. You don't have to go through
6:36
Speaker 2: all these hoops and bounds to be with somebody. There
6:39
Speaker 2: should be something where both of you meet and it's organic.
6:43
Speaker 2: Things are not organic anymore. Everything is fake, everything is phony.
6:48
Speaker 2: Everything is pretty much pushed on us agendas, and I
6:55
Speaker 2: don't think that's really a good thing. So when it
6:58
Speaker 2: comes to why these tupacs go together, you minding your
7:02
Speaker 2: own business and with self respect leads to self love
7:06
Speaker 2: because both of them have everything to do with self. You.
7:09
Speaker 1: I that's it, now, doesn't me wrong.
7:12
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with teams, there's nothing wrong with we
7:15
Speaker 2: us day them, nothing wrong with it, but with the
7:17
Speaker 2: right people.
7:19
Speaker 1: So again, the.
7:20
Speaker 2: People that will support you would support you. Ones that
7:22
Speaker 2: don't don't. And what made me think about this was
7:25
Speaker 2: I looked on my TikTok and I normally do cuntry
7:28
Speaker 2: ways skits on there, up and slowing down on those.
7:30
Speaker 2: But anyway, when I went on there, somebody said something
7:34
Speaker 2: and I just was like, you know what, I've had
7:36
Speaker 2: enough for this. But instead of me going on to
7:39
Speaker 2: being negative, I started doing nursery rhymes.
7:42
Speaker 1: I'm very animated. And one thing.
7:45
Speaker 2: About me, if I wanna read you, I don't have
7:47
Speaker 2: to cush you out. I ain't gotta do none of that.
7:50
Speaker 2: I gotta do is use nurse rhymes. I'm good at those.
7:54
Speaker 2: I like using the peaky and the brain. We're gonna
7:56
Speaker 2: do tonight, the same thing we do every night, harass
7:59
Speaker 2: and bully somebody. What we gonna do tonight, the same
8:01
Speaker 2: thing we always do, sit there and get her pissed off.
8:06
Speaker 1: People get a kick.
8:07
Speaker 2: Out of seeing you get mad on social media, but
8:10
Speaker 2: one they don't like is when you read them in
8:12
Speaker 2: a way that they don't know how to take it.
8:16
Speaker 2: They don't know how to respond to it. So instead
8:19
Speaker 2: of cut somebody out, just pray form and just say
8:22
Speaker 2: rebute negativity, send it back in which you came cause
8:24
Speaker 2: don't belong here for you, and try to go that's
8:27
Speaker 2: your best. But that's the best way for you to
8:30
Speaker 2: deal with the situation, because if you sit up here
8:33
Speaker 2: and argue with 'em, you lost.
8:35
Speaker 1: If you cuts 'em out, you're lost.
8:37
Speaker 2: If it's do anything native to them, you've already lost
8:40
Speaker 2: because you stoop down to they level versus just saying,
8:42
Speaker 2: you know what, I really don't have time for this,
8:45
Speaker 2: and I don't have time for you. And the only
8:47
Speaker 2: reason I'm not gonna cust you out, the only reason
8:49
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna say two words to you cause it
8:51
Speaker 2: ain't gonna do me no good cause two wrongs don't
8:53
Speaker 2: make it right. And not only that, argue what you
8:55
Speaker 2: ain't gonna do but give me a headed and i'sn't
8:56
Speaker 2: got time for it. If you think what you think,
8:58
Speaker 2: oh well best I go my way, you go yours.
9:02
Speaker 1: You already said what you need to say to me.
9:04
Speaker 2: Now it's time to move forward. But m the problem is,
9:09
Speaker 2: but negative people, they don't wanna hear that. That ain't
9:12
Speaker 2: what they want.
9:12
Speaker 1: They wanna. They want you to cuss them out.
9:15
Speaker 2: They wanna be the victim, and I'm not giving you that.
9:18
Speaker 1: I am not playing victim with you.
9:20
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna give you the victim.
9:22
Speaker 1: Card, cause that just ain't happen.
9:25
Speaker 2: So the fact that I'm not gonna give you that
9:28
Speaker 2: is we got very tips problem, cause it just ain't happening.
9:32
Speaker 2: So the one thing about me, my happiness begins it
9:34
Speaker 2: ends with me. Everybody's just the addition to that. My
9:38
Speaker 2: self esteem, self work, and self value and self respect
9:40
Speaker 2: ain't got nothing to do with nobody else. The minute
9:43
Speaker 2: you say you don't like me, you've already pissed, You've
9:45
Speaker 2: already annoyed me. But and what I mean by that is,
9:50
Speaker 2: I'm annoyed because you don't even know me, don't even
9:52
Speaker 2: know nothing about me. But you already got your perceptions
9:54
Speaker 2: about me because of what I look like or what
9:57
Speaker 2: you think I am, based on whatever your perception is.
10:00
Speaker 2: But your perception of me is absolutely incorrect. But you
10:03
Speaker 2: know what, I don't care. I'm good, I ain't even mad, an'try,
10:10
Speaker 2: upset nothing. I do not care because my life does
10:16
Speaker 2: not beginning to end with anybody else buy me. So
10:19
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I pay my own bills.
10:21
Speaker 2: The only people that matter are the people that are
10:23
Speaker 2: paying my bills. That is it, the ones that are
10:27
Speaker 2: paying for whatever it is that I do. That is it.
10:30
Speaker 2: The people that support my channel, That is it. The
10:32
Speaker 2: people that care about me just have to be family.
10:35
Speaker 1: That is it.
10:36
Speaker 2: Other than that, I do not care because I don't.
10:44
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I don't worry about family.
10:47
Speaker 2: I don't worry about.
10:48
Speaker 1: None of that. I do not care.
10:51
Speaker 2: I just talked to my cousin and my aunt, who
10:53
Speaker 2: haven't talked to me in a very long time. But
10:56
Speaker 2: we had a good conversation, laughed and joked and had
10:59
Speaker 2: a great laugh. And I'm supposed to go over there
11:01
Speaker 2: and see her kids. But at the end of the day,
11:03
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna sit up here and worry about grown
11:06
Speaker 2: people and what the world that got going on. Like
11:09
Speaker 2: I told her, I disappeared because my peace and my
11:11
Speaker 2: tranquility is something support and you gave us what that
11:15
Speaker 2: not at all.
11:16
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
11:17
Speaker 2: My my peace, quiet and tranquility means entirely too much
11:21
Speaker 2: to me, and I really do not have time to
11:23
Speaker 2: sit up here and worry about native people, and I
11:26
Speaker 2: really don't have the patience for it. I am a
11:29
Speaker 2: grown woman, I'm an adult, and by now all this
11:34
Speaker 2: wanna be accepted that bad. I don't want it. If
11:37
Speaker 2: I gotta go through hoops and bounds and go against
11:39
Speaker 2: everything that's g against God to do something negative just
11:43
Speaker 2: to IMPROVISI something to you.
11:44
Speaker 1: I'm not interested. I don't even.
11:47
Speaker 2: Wanna do it. So no, mm mm to the end day,
11:55
Speaker 2: it's always gonna be something.
11:57
Speaker 1: Oh. It's just like when I made decision to go
12:01
Speaker 1: on the cruise.
12:01
Speaker 2: My h gold girl was like her cousin is still
12:03
Speaker 2: up breaking his birthday, and she was like she wanted
12:06
Speaker 2: to go.
12:07
Speaker 1: So at first I wasn't sure if I was gonna go.
12:11
Speaker 2: I started the second yes myself, but then I found
12:14
Speaker 2: out that I get free rent this month, so I
12:18
Speaker 2: l I don't have to pay any rent this month.
12:20
Speaker 1: Thank God for that.
12:21
Speaker 2: So I have a whole month where I get to
12:24
Speaker 2: keep my money in my pocket. So yes, I'm going,
12:27
Speaker 2: cause i'm'a give her half the money and then i'm'a
12:29
Speaker 2: give her the rest of it either next month i'm'a
12:32
Speaker 2: give it to her either right before we get ready
12:36
Speaker 2: to leave, So I gotta make sure she puts my
12:39
Speaker 2: name on it.
12:39
Speaker 1: So i'm'a give her the deposit.
12:41
Speaker 2: Next time I see her and either tend to her
12:44
Speaker 2: be a cash at or been send into a b
12:46
Speaker 2: I don't one way or another, i'm'a send it to her,
12:48
Speaker 2: So i'm'a send her the money. That way she knows
12:50
Speaker 2: I am definitely going. And then I'm putting my time
12:53
Speaker 2: in to go. So by the time I get ready
12:56
Speaker 2: to go on my vacation, I I should have enough
13:00
Speaker 2: hours to be able to go. So I'm not gonna
13:04
Speaker 2: sit up here and worry about what other people think.
13:08
Speaker 2: I really and all honesty could care less to be honest.
13:12
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, you only have one
13:14
Speaker 2: life to live, and it's not about working a nine
13:17
Speaker 2: to five job. And see, the sucky part about it
13:19
Speaker 2: is when you work from eight to five, you can't
13:22
Speaker 2: go to the doctor.
13:23
Speaker 1: That's the sucky part about it.
13:25
Speaker 2: So when you work six to thirty, you get off
13:27
Speaker 2: and you have time to go to your appointments. You
13:29
Speaker 2: have time to do everything, in all honesty, that you
13:32
Speaker 2: need to do to get done. What you need to
13:35
Speaker 2: get done, you a lot. I have to go to
13:37
Speaker 2: the dentist. I gotta make a dentist appointment. Some'a make
13:40
Speaker 2: one and see which ones. In where I'm at now,
13:43
Speaker 2: I'm a visiting family where I can go. But again,
13:47
Speaker 2: once you stop basing your happiness on everybody else.
13:51
Speaker 1: You have no idea how freeing it is. When I
13:53
Speaker 1: go on.
13:54
Speaker 2: TikTok and I see all these people traveling, seeing the world,
13:57
Speaker 2: seeing what's out there.
13:58
Speaker 1: They're single with no kids.
13:59
Speaker 2: They're living their lives, their husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend.
14:03
Speaker 1: Even solo travelers.
14:05
Speaker 2: I am seeing more solo travelers than I've ever seen
14:07
Speaker 2: before in my life.
14:09
Speaker 1: Now, one thing about going my homegirl owned this vacation.
14:13
Speaker 2: I already know she gonna have me around the world,
14:16
Speaker 2: and a ya ya, I already know that she gonna
14:19
Speaker 2: have me having the time of my life. I already
14:22
Speaker 2: know she gonna put makeup on me, she gonna doll
14:24
Speaker 2: me up. She likes to doll me up for some reason.
14:27
Speaker 2: I'm her guinea pig when I'm still putting make up
14:29
Speaker 2: and getting me dressed up. So, yeah, I'm getting prepped
14:32
Speaker 2: for this trip because it's five days and I'm excited.
14:35
Speaker 2: I'm excited about this trip, I really am. But yeah,
14:38
Speaker 2: I am gonna give it the money make sure she
14:39
Speaker 2: add me on on to the thing. So I gotta
14:42
Speaker 2: make sure I get with her cause i'm'a send her
14:45
Speaker 2: the money so that way, she can go ahead and
14:48
Speaker 2: add me on the trip and then give her half
14:51
Speaker 2: the money. So make sure I do that so that
14:54
Speaker 2: way will have a great time and a great vacation.
14:57
Speaker 2: So I am going, so I gotta see about how
15:00
Speaker 2: to go about getting her the money. Make sure I
15:03
Speaker 2: give her half of it, cause I do at least
15:05
Speaker 2: go give her half of it. I just go see
15:07
Speaker 2: far as my rent and stuff, make sure everything and
15:09
Speaker 2: all of that is taken care of. But being I
15:12
Speaker 2: have this extra money, I might go ahead and just
15:14
Speaker 2: go ahead and just pay for the trip. That way
15:16
Speaker 2: I can pay for it, have a great time, enjoying
15:19
Speaker 2: myself and just live my best life and make sure
15:24
Speaker 2: she get her full money. So that way I ain't
15:26
Speaker 2: got to worry about it. The only thing I gotta
15:28
Speaker 2: pay for it is just the internet, and that would
15:30
Speaker 2: be it. But at the end of the day, like
15:33
Speaker 2: I said, you know, we all have life and stuff
15:36
Speaker 2: that we have to do and so on and so forth.
15:39
Speaker 2: But I probably will bring a lot of wine cause
15:43
Speaker 2: we can't bring wine on the on the cruise and stuff.
15:47
Speaker 2: So like I said, i'm'a have a great time. So,
15:50
Speaker 2: like I said, like Sissus says, we're running out of time.
15:52
Speaker 2: We ain't got time to sit up here and wait.
15:55
Speaker 2: So you better live your life because you are running
15:57
Speaker 2: out of time. Y'all sitting up here talking about I'm
15:59
Speaker 2: worried about honey, you better more about living your life.
16:03
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, there are people that
16:05
Speaker 2: are living in cars and they're traveling, and they're nomads
16:08
Speaker 2: and they're seeing the world. And now they're traveling overseas
16:12
Speaker 2: because now they're making money off their YouTube channels and
16:15
Speaker 2: TikTok channels and things like that.
16:18
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at it.
16:20
Speaker 2: I'm not so again, you know a lot of people
16:23
Speaker 2: are doing this, but they're not really doing it to
16:27
Speaker 2: where they're making it successful, where they're making a lot
16:32
Speaker 2: of money off of it. A lot of people ain't
16:34
Speaker 2: doing it. So again, like I said, you know, we
16:38
Speaker 2: all have our battles that we have to go through
16:42
Speaker 2: in order to be the best versions of ourselves. But
16:46
Speaker 2: it's important to live your life and be happy and
16:50
Speaker 2: finding peace. And for some of us, that's getting out
16:54
Speaker 2: the United States and traveling outside of the United States.
16:57
Speaker 2: That's people going and they meet a stranger and they
17:00
Speaker 2: go dancing and they have a great time and they
17:03
Speaker 2: travel to different parts of the world, and there are
17:05
Speaker 2: other people in the military. So again, you know, you
17:09
Speaker 2: gotta live your life. Don't get tied down to anything
17:12
Speaker 2: that's gonna get you, keep you tied down.
17:14
Speaker 1: If you with people that don't like.
17:16
Speaker 2: To travel and don't like to see the world, don't
17:19
Speaker 2: never date somebody that's not like you being that when
17:22
Speaker 2: it comes down to being responsible, when they come down
17:25
Speaker 2: to traveling and seeing the world, find somebody on the
17:29
Speaker 2: same page as you, not somebody that's the opposite, cause
17:31
Speaker 2: it ain't gonna work. Especially got one person like the
17:34
Speaker 2: traveling that person don't that ain't never gonna work. It's
17:38
Speaker 2: just like with Tianna Taylor and Aaron Pierre. You know,
17:41
Speaker 2: you have a lot of people. I'm like, it's a
17:43
Speaker 2: felicity stunting.
17:44
Speaker 1: No, it ain't.
17:45
Speaker 2: They just choose to keep things, you know, quiet. Like
17:49
Speaker 2: we saw the video of the two of them, and
17:51
Speaker 2: I thought that video was actually very beautifully done and
17:54
Speaker 2: I love to see them that way, and I thought
17:56
Speaker 2: it was cute.
17:57
Speaker 1: I did. You know a lot of people want to
17:59
Speaker 1: love that is very cutey and demure.
18:07
Speaker 2: But again, we are all individuals. Where in our groups
18:11
Speaker 2: were individuals, and the one thing about health and wellness,
18:15
Speaker 2: it's about taking care of every aspect of you. Once
18:20
Speaker 2: you once you accept every aspect of you, everything you've
18:24
Speaker 2: been through, everything you've done, everything you're intending to do,
18:29
Speaker 2: but also the the the the failures and the.
18:33
Speaker 1: Negative things about you.
18:35
Speaker 2: Once you and once you accept that and you embrace it,
18:39
Speaker 2: you'll be such more a happy person, and you'll be
18:42
Speaker 2: somebody's like, you know what, Yeah, I've done what I've done,
18:45
Speaker 2: I've made amends for it, I've learned from it, I've
18:48
Speaker 2: grown from it, and now I'm a better person. But
18:51
Speaker 2: when you start seeing your blessings, you're gonna be very happy.
18:56
Speaker 2: When you see that you are in such a good place.
19:01
Speaker 2: It's it's gonna be rewarding. So it may not be
19:04
Speaker 2: rewarding right now, may not seem like it's rewarding right now,
19:08
Speaker 2: but in fact it is, it's very much so. So
19:13
Speaker 2: don't let nobody stop your shine or your development, or
19:16
Speaker 2: your growth or your evolution.
19:18
Speaker 1: Don't ever let nobody do that.
19:20
Speaker 2: Don't ever let nobody lower you and tell you that
19:22
Speaker 2: you gotta build somebody else.
19:24
Speaker 1: And it's your responsibility. No, it ain't. It ain't your responsibility.
19:27
Speaker 2: For grown paper, your kids when they're small, yes, when
19:31
Speaker 2: they're big, No, unless you choose to help 'em out.
19:35
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, you can give people advice.
19:37
Speaker 2: You ain't gotta give them money, You ain't gotta do
19:39
Speaker 2: none of that.
19:40
Speaker 1: Just give 'em advice.
19:41
Speaker 2: It's all that you suppost to do. All you sposa
19:44
Speaker 2: do is give 'em the word, and that's it. Whether
19:46
Speaker 2: they take it or whether they do whatever, that's on them.
19:49
Speaker 1: That ain't got nothing to do with you.
19:52
Speaker 2: So again, we all have our parts to play, we
19:54
Speaker 2: all have our happiness to build, but it should be
19:58
Speaker 2: based upon us because again we are the foundation. Everybody
20:01
Speaker 2: else just the branches, the leaves, the stems and everything else.
20:05
Speaker 1: That's it.
20:06
Speaker 2: So again, you know is is is getting to this
20:10
Speaker 2: philosophy easy? No?
20:12
Speaker 1: Cause again, it's a lifestyle.
20:15
Speaker 2: It's a lifestyle change.
20:17
Speaker 1: It ain't a diet, it ain't none of that. It's
20:19
Speaker 1: a lifestyle change.
20:21
Speaker 2: So once you learn to love you, nobody else can
20:24
Speaker 2: take that away from you. You're not even expecting that
20:28
Speaker 2: to come from somebody else, cause nobody's gonna love you
20:31
Speaker 2: the way you love yourself. Nobody gonna care for you
20:33
Speaker 2: and take care of you the way you take care
20:34
Speaker 2: of yourself and be there for yourself.
20:38
Speaker 1: So you need to.
20:38
Speaker 2: Understand everybody's just the addition to whatever it is gonna do,
20:41
Speaker 2: be or become, and that's it or that and if
20:45
Speaker 2: people don't accept that, oh well that ain't got nothing.
20:48
Speaker 1: To do with you.
20:50
Speaker 2: So again, we all have our roles to play. None
20:54
Speaker 2: of us are perfect. But at the same time, everybody
20:56
Speaker 2: deserve to be happy. But the problem is not everybody
20:59
Speaker 2: want everybody bea y'all keep lining the people and making
21:02
Speaker 2: people believe that certain people are gonna have relationships when
21:05
Speaker 2: that's not true. There will be people that will be alone.
21:08
Speaker 2: There will be people that will deal with people when
21:11
Speaker 2: they feel like they want to deal with them. There
21:14
Speaker 2: will be people that, yes, they have friends, but at
21:16
Speaker 2: the same time, when they are all for a while,
21:19
Speaker 2: that's because they working on them.
21:20
Speaker 1: There are people that don't pull nobody else in their drama.
21:23
Speaker 1: They really don't.
21:24
Speaker 2: They don't pull nobody else in their drama. So there
21:28
Speaker 2: are people that really do care about the people that
21:31
Speaker 2: they love, whereas other people they use and take advantage of,
21:34
Speaker 2: manipulating and bamboosom. So you always gonna have two different
21:38
Speaker 2: types of people no matter what, and you may fit
21:42
Speaker 2: different sides of the coin. So you might be alone,
21:45
Speaker 2: but you might also be rich. You might be alone,
21:50
Speaker 2: but you might also be successful.
21:53
Speaker 1: You might be.
21:53
Speaker 2: Alone, but you traveling the world and doing what you
21:56
Speaker 2: wanna do. Versus somebody in a relationship. They can't do
21:59
Speaker 2: what they wanna do, but still think they can, but
22:02
Speaker 2: they want the other person there just to catch them,
22:04
Speaker 2: just in case something go wrong. So I started to think,
22:08
Speaker 2: is the real reason for relationships because you just want
22:11
Speaker 2: somebody there every time you screw up? Or is relationships
22:15
Speaker 2: really supposed to be evenly yoke? Cause I'm not saying
22:18
Speaker 2: where where a lot of relationships are evenly yoke. Don't
22:21
Speaker 2: get me wrong. I would never say relationships are a
22:24
Speaker 2: bad thing, would never say it, but you gotta be
22:28
Speaker 2: very careful. I just learned now that sometimes it's not
22:33
Speaker 2: always good to be the center of attention. It's not
22:36
Speaker 2: always good to be in the center of a room.
22:39
Speaker 2: It's not always good to have everybody notice you, cause
22:42
Speaker 2: it ain't it ain't always good for people to do that.
22:45
Speaker 2: And the one thing about recovery is you're not gonna
22:48
Speaker 2: be noticed because of what you look like, You're not
22:51
Speaker 2: gonna be noticed because even what you got, because the
22:54
Speaker 2: whole world is never gonna know what you have. But
22:57
Speaker 2: because of your lights, that's that's why you gonna have
23:01
Speaker 2: a light that shines. You Gonna have a confidence that shines.
23:04
Speaker 2: You Gonna have that believe in yourself that a lot
23:09
Speaker 2: of people will never be able to understand. You. Gonna
23:12
Speaker 2: have a determination, you have a uh, discipline about you,
23:19
Speaker 2: dedication about you. But the one thing you ain't gonna
23:23
Speaker 2: be is dependable. Now, everybody deserves you to be dependable,
23:28
Speaker 2: cause once you're dependable, then everybody thinks certain things. So,
23:31
Speaker 2: like I said, this is why I had to sit
23:33
Speaker 2: down and I took some time.
23:35
Speaker 1: Because I am getting better, y'all. I have to always
23:38
Speaker 1: give y'all a a medical checkup. Everything is good.
23:42
Speaker 2: I do have a system my kidneys, and I do
23:44
Speaker 2: have a herney in my stomach that they may have
23:47
Speaker 2: to remove, but they'll check to get again to see
23:49
Speaker 2: if it's there. They'll remove it cause I have to
23:51
Speaker 2: have surgery without surgery, but they have to do some procedure.
23:56
Speaker 2: But it's too expensive right now for me to do.
24:00
Speaker 2: But what I will say is I'm getting better every day,
24:03
Speaker 2: and I actually lost a lot of weight. So some
24:07
Speaker 2: things that you may think may not benefit you, they do.
24:10
Speaker 2: My allergies have basically helped me tremendously. That's how I
24:16
Speaker 2: lost a lot of weight cause I ain't able to
24:17
Speaker 2: eat eat very much, which honestly is not a bad thing,
24:21
Speaker 2: and I'm kind of loving that. Honestly, when I go
24:23
Speaker 2: back to Florida, I definitely am gonna have a different
24:27
Speaker 2: philosophy when I go back there, and I'm glad that
24:31
Speaker 2: I had this journey because I mean, I'm seeing the changes,
24:34
Speaker 2: I'm seeing the growth, I'm seeing the development. I still
24:36
Speaker 2: got a little bit of a pudge though a little
24:39
Speaker 2: tet bit, but it ain't as big as it used
24:41
Speaker 2: toper so the way it is coming down, so now
24:44
Speaker 2: it's about turning it into muscle. So I'm definitely ain't
24:48
Speaker 2: gonna be talking about how I did it, but I
24:50
Speaker 2: didn't do it where everybody else told you. I'm doing
24:53
Speaker 2: things very differently, but I learned that it does work,
24:59
Speaker 2: and we will d definitely be talking about that. So,
25:02
Speaker 2: like I said, when every part of you is healthy
25:06
Speaker 2: and you find that confidence, can't nobody stand in your way,
25:11
Speaker 2: regardless of what you look like, regardless of what disability
25:14
Speaker 2: you got, what illness you got, your confidence should be
25:17
Speaker 2: there no matter what. You should be able to thrive
25:20
Speaker 2: no matter what. Don't let your illness is diseases, flaws,
25:25
Speaker 2: imperfections and disability standing the way of your greatness. Don't
25:30
Speaker 2: let nobody tell you how to go about doing things
25:33
Speaker 2: that you're passionate about. It's just like when I was
25:36
Speaker 2: working on something today and I've been doing a bunch
25:39
Speaker 2: of trainings, I said, you know what, I got some
25:42
Speaker 2: holistic trainings I got to do.
25:44
Speaker 1: So I made a list.
25:45
Speaker 2: I got a whole bunch of stuff that other I
25:46
Speaker 2: bought that I need to start using. So let me
25:49
Speaker 2: taking some time to be doing that stuff too. So
25:52
Speaker 2: now I'm occupying my time. Now I'm going to start reading.
25:56
Speaker 2: Finished reading. Look at the Cartel book. I gotta read
25:59
Speaker 2: four and five. So I just said, i'm'a sit down
26:02
Speaker 2: and do some reading. So, like I said, you know,
26:05
Speaker 2: we all are finding our footing. But when I'm seeing
26:08
Speaker 2: all these people traveling, going on cruises, going to different countries,
26:13
Speaker 2: I'm like, that coulda that should have been me. But
26:16
Speaker 2: I'm no longer saying that should it be me. I'm
26:18
Speaker 2: saying that it's going to be me cause i am
26:20
Speaker 2: traveling to Bali, i am going to Japan, I am
26:23
Speaker 2: going to all the places because I'm going to speak
26:25
Speaker 2: it into existence, because i'ma make these opportunities happen. And
26:31
Speaker 2: that's what's about making opportunities happen, just not just not
26:34
Speaker 2: sitting around and watching everybody else do it and you
26:37
Speaker 2: just being jealous, hater. Nope, it should give you inspiration
26:40
Speaker 2: to wanna do it yourself. And the only thing that
26:42
Speaker 2: people do is make me inspired. I'm not jealous of nobody,
26:46
Speaker 2: but it does make me inspired to want to do
26:48
Speaker 2: these things now. So again, we all have our battles
26:52
Speaker 2: that we have to fight and things we have to
26:55
Speaker 2: deal with.
26:56
Speaker 1: But again, it's.
26:57
Speaker 2: Not about how we fall. It's about how we rise,
27:00
Speaker 2: and that is what matters most. We all have our challenges,
27:04
Speaker 2: we all have things we have to face, we all
27:06
Speaker 2: get knocked down, we all go through rejection. But the
27:09
Speaker 2: end of the day, you take that and brush it
27:10
Speaker 2: off and go to the opposite direction. Don't try to
27:14
Speaker 2: convince them why you s they should hire you. Don't
27:16
Speaker 2: try to convince them of why y'all should be together.
27:19
Speaker 2: Don't even do it, because at the end of the
27:21
Speaker 2: day that they can't see your light and they can't
27:23
Speaker 2: see you as a person, and they only see that
27:25
Speaker 2: you're not attractive or whatever the reason is, it ain't
27:28
Speaker 2: worth it and it ain't no in us as going
27:30
Speaker 2: through it. So just be happy within you, be the
27:34
Speaker 2: best version of you, continue doing you, becoming the best
27:38
Speaker 2: version of yourself, and just being happy.
27:41
Speaker 1: And whatever it's meant to be will be.
27:45
Speaker 2: So again, I get it, I absolutely get it and
27:50
Speaker 2: understand it. But at the same time, if you sit
27:53
Speaker 2: here and let these people run you ragged, lawing yourself,
27:57
Speaker 2: tryna please everybody else, you gonna be miserable, miserable, lonely,
28:02
Speaker 2: and bitter. So, yes, there are two sides of every
28:07
Speaker 2: every individual. Every individual's not gonna be rich, every individual's
28:11
Speaker 2: not gonna be chosen. Every individual's not gonna be a mom,
28:15
Speaker 2: every individual's not gonna be married. But that's okay. It
28:18
Speaker 2: doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It just means
28:22
Speaker 2: there's something greater and better out there for you. So
28:25
Speaker 2: those of you that may not have kids and may
28:27
Speaker 2: not ever get married, you gonna be traveling the world
28:30
Speaker 2: and having a great time and settling down later. And
28:32
Speaker 2: that's okay too. That's all that means, that you're settling
28:36
Speaker 2: down and you're moving forward.
28:38
Speaker 1: That's it. So that's how I see all this. I
28:48
Speaker 1: don't see it in any other way.
28:50
Speaker 2: So your self respect is based upon you and what
28:53
Speaker 2: you allow people to do to you. It's not about
28:55
Speaker 2: everybody else. It's about you. So once you, once you
28:59
Speaker 2: figure out how much you love yourself, how much you
29:02
Speaker 2: value yourself, the rest of it will come right on
29:05
Speaker 2: the way it's supposed to.
29:07
Speaker 1: Everything will come in place.
29:09
Speaker 2: You'll meet your special somebody, you'll meet your friends, and
29:13
Speaker 2: they might be.
29:14
Speaker 1: Around the world, they may not be nowhere near you,
29:17
Speaker 1: and that's okay too.
29:19
Speaker 2: But it's time to get out there, just like I've
29:21
Speaker 2: been by myself for since twenty twenty nineteen. It's been
29:26
Speaker 2: almost ten years. But you know what, it's okay. I'm
29:32
Speaker 2: absolutely okay with it. I am I'm good, and I'm happy,
29:38
Speaker 2: and that's all that matters. What matters is that your
29:42
Speaker 2: happiness begins and ends with you. That's just pretty much
29:45
Speaker 2: it on that. So that being said, i'm'a end it here.
29:48
Speaker 2: I love y'all.
29:50
Speaker 1: I appreciate y'all. Thank y'all for supporting me.
29:52
Speaker 2: And with that being said, I thank you guys for
29:54
Speaker 2: joining me for both my podcasts. You mind your own
29:57
Speaker 2: business and with self respect leads to self lofe. I'm
30:00
Speaker 2: your host, Goddess Asha Mariyama. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all.
30:04
Speaker 2: Until next time, douces,