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Winton Buddington of Sweethearts & Heroes · Aired Out

1:54
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2:35
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2:38
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2:42
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2:50
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Speaker 1: Phillips is Willis from the World. Good morning, Deb, How
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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, it is the best time in Vermont, definitely.
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5:45
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5:58
Speaker 2: Thanks Jad.
5:58
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Speaker 1: him a jingle at four seven nine twenty five eighty
6:18
Speaker 1: two deb Phillips Central pronounced favorite weekly newspaper right there.
6:23
Speaker 1: It's the world. This guy not only is he a
6:29
Speaker 1: handsome devil, but he has also become a great friend
6:34
Speaker 1: from sweethearts and heroes. My good buddy, Winton Buddington, who
6:39
Speaker 1: is with us this morning. Good morning, my friend, how
6:42
Speaker 1: are you? It is so so nice to see you.
6:45
Speaker 5: Good morning. I'm fantastic, it's great to be here. I
6:48
Speaker 5: appreciate you having me on today.
6:50
Speaker 3: Listen we.
6:53
Speaker 1: I'm what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna call you
6:57
Speaker 1: because I'm having some uh, some sound issues here on
7:02
Speaker 1: my end, so and it could be the whole Google
7:05
Speaker 1: meat thing which has been acting up lately. So I'm
7:09
Speaker 1: gonna give Wynton a call here and see if we
7:12
Speaker 1: can get a crystal clean version of his audio. And
7:19
Speaker 1: my understanding is that he is basking in the sunshine
7:24
Speaker 1: somewhere and warm and happy, and we'll see if we
7:29
Speaker 1: can find out exactly where that is. As I give
7:33
Speaker 1: him a ring right now and see if he can answer.
7:39
Speaker 1: Winton Buddington such a cool name from Sweethearts and Heroes.
7:47
Speaker 1: There you are, buddy, Yeah, yeah, you sound nice and clean.
7:50
Speaker 1: I think it was a I think it was a
7:52
Speaker 1: Google meat issue. But it's nice to be connected with you.
7:57
Speaker 1: Where the heck are you anyways?
7:59
Speaker 6: Man, Well, we we had my wife and I had
8:03
Speaker 6: the opportunity to head a little bit south.
8:07
Speaker 5: So calling in from Hilton Head, South Carolina this morning.
8:11
Speaker 1: Oh man, that sounds nice. Give us the give us
8:15
Speaker 1: the current temp.
8:17
Speaker 6: Current temp is we're starting off to day at about
8:20
Speaker 6: fifty six. I think we're supposed to get up in
8:22
Speaker 6: the mid sixties. It's sunny. I get to wear shorts.
8:29
Speaker 6: Can't beat it.
8:29
Speaker 3: Wow. And it's been it's been cool down there.
8:33
Speaker 6: Yeah. The people we've talked to said we picked a
8:36
Speaker 6: good week. They said it was even you know, last
8:38
Speaker 6: week they were in the thirties and forties.
8:40
Speaker 5: So we timed it right.
8:43
Speaker 6: And it's just you know, it's it's like you were
8:45
Speaker 6: talking about with wake it up, and you're going to
8:48
Speaker 6: be in the forties today. It's yeah, you know, after
8:51
Speaker 6: being being chili for a while, even even forties. I
8:55
Speaker 6: mean I grew up in Potsdam, New York, so the
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Speaker 6: North Country went what I grew up, you know, and
9:03
Speaker 6: I remember it gets into the forties and you feel
9:05
Speaker 6: like it's shorts weather again.
9:06
Speaker 1: So just breathe it in, man, breathing in those temperatures.
9:10
Speaker 3: That's so cool. Man.
9:12
Speaker 1: Listen you you have been so instrumental with sweethearts and
9:17
Speaker 1: heroes for how long? How long have you been the
9:22
Speaker 1: the logistics and outreach director busy busy position?
9:28
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is really in that role.
9:31
Speaker 6: This is really my second year in doing everything that
9:36
Speaker 6: I'm doing now. I mean, I've been connected with Tom
9:40
Speaker 6: and Rick since I first had him into my school
9:43
Speaker 6: probably back in twenty thirteen or so, and then had
9:50
Speaker 6: him into Present for about seven years and it just
9:53
Speaker 6: made such an impact on our climate and culture. When
9:57
Speaker 6: I retired in twenty two in Junior twenty twenty two,
10:01
Speaker 6: Tom called me and said, you want to come and
10:04
Speaker 6: join our team, and I started just kind of helping
10:06
Speaker 6: out with some workshops and things, and it just evolved
10:08
Speaker 6: into the role I'm doing now as director of Logistics
10:13
Speaker 6: and kind of helping to coordinate the bookings and connections
10:17
Speaker 6: with schools and all of those pieces.
10:20
Speaker 1: The thing about Tom, the thing about Rick is no
10:24
Speaker 1: matter what it is, no matter what your position is,
10:29
Speaker 1: even if it is a lot of it is behind
10:33
Speaker 1: a computer screen, if a lot of it is is
10:36
Speaker 1: involving paperwork and phone calls, and a lot of stuff
10:41
Speaker 1: off the stage out of the direct heat of the spotlight,
10:47
Speaker 1: like Tom and Ricker are so accustomed to. These guys
10:51
Speaker 1: want to make sure that every single member of the
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Speaker 1: team is completely on board with and understanding of and
11:03
Speaker 1: embracing the messages behind your mission at Sweethearts and Heroes.
11:11
Speaker 6: Yeah, and what I appreciate about working with everybody on
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Speaker 6: the team is everything we do shares the same message.
11:21
Speaker 6: So whether it's Tom and Rick's presentation, whether it's Josiah
11:26
Speaker 6: or Pat being in the school, or Chad working with linemen,
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Speaker 6: Leon's press releases, the publications we have, the different programs
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Speaker 6: that we do besides the presentations, the message is consistent
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Speaker 6: and the goal is to really help schools and students,
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Speaker 6: empower students and help them make a difference and create
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Speaker 6: the climate culture for their communities.
11:54
Speaker 1: I know we talk so much in you and I
11:57
Speaker 1: have taken a few deep dives on the messages that
12:01
Speaker 1: are that are so geared for for children, for students,
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Speaker 1: for scholars, for administrators, a ka teachers. But is there
12:15
Speaker 1: anyone that you can think of when that might be
12:24
Speaker 1: exempt from any of the messages that Sweethearts and Heroes
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Speaker 1: is putting out.
12:34
Speaker 6: No, because it really is. It's all about creating a
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Speaker 6: care and culture. Yeah, I mean, the circle work we
12:43
Speaker 6: do is about building community, building those empathetic connections and
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Speaker 6: recognizing that the for students, recognizing the kid that is
12:54
Speaker 6: new to the school or the kid that you only
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Speaker 6: see in school has things similar to you do.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know.
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Speaker 6: And for adults, it's recognizing that your neighbor, the person
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Speaker 6: at the stop light next to you, they they're dealing
13:11
Speaker 6: with the same things, and they've they've got a lot
13:13
Speaker 6: of things in common with you. They've got parents and grandparents,
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Speaker 6: and they played the toys when they were kids, and
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Speaker 6: and there's not that much different between us. And the
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Speaker 6: more that we recognize that that is what builds and
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Speaker 6: strengthens the community when we recognize focusing on those those similarities.
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Speaker 1: Even if they're driving like an ass right yep, when
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Speaker 1: you look across at that guy at the stoplight, maybe
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Speaker 1: he's having a really bad day or a bad chapter
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Speaker 1: in his life right now. And it is so easy
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Speaker 1: I just listen. I just drove through Brooklyn. I admit
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Speaker 1: I wasn't driving Chrilyn was, which is even worse. But
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Speaker 1: I mean there's the epitome of the example of man,
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Speaker 1: it is so so easy when to get frustrated, ticked
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Speaker 1: off at this guy, that guy, this truck driver.
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Speaker 3: What are you thinking? What are you doing?
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Speaker 1: But we have to try to remember and man, it's like,
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Speaker 1: you know, my little girl in the back seat, just
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Speaker 1: trying to tell her, look that guy or that lady
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Speaker 1: at the front desk of the hotel. No, they weren't
14:41
Speaker 1: very friendly. No, the customer service was not exceptional. But
14:50
Speaker 1: they're a human being, and maybe there's something going on
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Speaker 1: that we don't know about that shows up on their
14:58
Speaker 1: face or out of their or just in the energy
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Speaker 1: or lack thereof that they exude.
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Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, And and it's.
15:12
Speaker 6: It can be doesn't always have to be a big,
15:15
Speaker 6: huge problem for somebody.
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Speaker 5: You know.
15:18
Speaker 6: Sometimes people are just trying to find something in their
15:20
Speaker 6: life that they feel like they have control over.
15:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.
15:23
Speaker 5: And sometimes that's the steering though, you know.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's the that's the only time when they're
15:29
Speaker 6: driving their vehicle that they feel like they've got control
15:31
Speaker 6: over something in their lives.
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Speaker 1: So, what do you say to anyone listening right now
15:37
Speaker 1: who is not familiar with one of several books that
15:43
Speaker 1: has come out of Sweethearts and Heroes, one of them
15:47
Speaker 1: being The Thirteen Pillows for Effective Teachers. If if if
15:55
Speaker 1: folks are not familiar with it, if they haven't picked
15:57
Speaker 1: it up, what say you?
16:00
Speaker 5: So the Thirteen Pillows book, it's a it's a fictional allegory.
16:06
Speaker 5: It's inspired by true stories of loss and hope that
16:10
Speaker 5: Tom picked up.
16:11
Speaker 6: Over his years of being in schools and meeting with
16:17
Speaker 6: people and so on, and put together in the story
16:23
Speaker 6: of a young educator who's navigating challenges of loss of
16:29
Speaker 6: a student. And the chapters are broken down each each
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Speaker 6: chapter is a pillow to become more effect more caring, more.
16:42
Speaker 5: Beyond ourselves, so to speak.
16:44
Speaker 6: And they we've done book studies with teachers with it.
16:50
Speaker 6: What we've got teachers or our friend Heather up in
16:54
Speaker 6: asse Able Valley is teaching the book to her students.
16:58
Speaker 6: We've had people just read the pick up and read
17:00
Speaker 6: the book. It's it's a great message for anybody. And
17:06
Speaker 6: you know, like the first chapter is really it's titled
17:09
Speaker 6: It's a marathon, marathon versus sprint, and.
17:14
Speaker 5: That's what we're talking about.
17:15
Speaker 6: This this cultivating your culture and caring. It's it's a marathon.
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Speaker 6: It's not something you do once and it's done and
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Speaker 6: you can check off the box and you know. One
17:28
Speaker 6: of the pieces I loved in the first chapter is
17:30
Speaker 6: the pillow test, which is, you know, when you end
17:33
Speaker 6: your day, ask yourself two questions, I'm glad I did
17:38
Speaker 6: and I wish I had, and use that to guide
17:43
Speaker 6: you as you take the next step. But if you're
17:48
Speaker 6: running a marathon, it's pacing yourself and it's doing those
17:51
Speaker 6: little things over and over again to to keep you
17:55
Speaker 6: moving in that positive direction.
17:57
Speaker 1: This is something that UH is frankly not easy to do.
18:04
Speaker 1: This is something for many of us is easy to forget.
18:10
Speaker 1: We are so distracted winning by so many things. When
18:14
Speaker 1: we get in bed at night and our head hits
18:17
Speaker 1: the pillow, we are running through what happened today, what
18:24
Speaker 1: was good?
18:25
Speaker 3: What was bad?
18:27
Speaker 1: And oh my god, I ran out of time today
18:30
Speaker 1: to do this or that. I better do it tomorrow.
18:33
Speaker 1: What about the next day, what about this weekend? What
18:36
Speaker 1: are our plans? We're still trying to put together logistically,
18:42
Speaker 1: our lives and process the recent past, whether it was
18:48
Speaker 1: something that happened at the workplace or how we're gonna
18:53
Speaker 1: respond to things tomorrow. But it's almost worth putting a
19:00
Speaker 1: sticky note on the wall that says I had. Yeah, exactly,
19:10
Speaker 1: I'm glad I did. I wish I had. And it
19:13
Speaker 1: could be something so small and simple. I'm glad that
19:18
Speaker 1: I smiled and got eye contact with that lady in
19:23
Speaker 1: the checkout line at.
19:24
Speaker 3: The grocery store.
19:25
Speaker 2: That's it.
19:27
Speaker 1: Or I'm I'm glad that I put the shopping cart away.
19:33
Speaker 1: Something simple, it doesn't have to be big, you don't
19:37
Speaker 1: have to draw it out for half an hour. But
19:41
Speaker 1: also I wish I had. I wish I had said
19:45
Speaker 1: hello to that guy, uh, you know that old man. Whatever.
19:54
Speaker 1: I wish I had offered to help them cross the street,
19:57
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. And and to think about that
20:01
Speaker 1: going forward. The Custodian Chronicles, though, what does that mean?
20:08
Speaker 6: So the the books starts the he's figuring the book
20:13
Speaker 6: is Bruce Bryer, a young educator, and he's about to
20:18
Speaker 6: resign because he lost a student and he just feels
20:25
Speaker 6: he got into education to you to make boys and
20:28
Speaker 6: the men as a pe teacher and not not really
20:32
Speaker 6: an effective person, and he's having trouble dealing with the
20:37
Speaker 6: loss of the student, and so he's reading over his
20:41
Speaker 6: resignation letter and Custodian steps out of the corner of
20:45
Speaker 6: the gym and kind of mentors him.
20:48
Speaker 5: Throughout the book. So it's the it's the Custodian Chronicles.
20:54
Speaker 5: That's where the title. Interesting, the title kind of comes from.
20:58
Speaker 1: And pillows versus pillars. Uh, the obvious there is when
21:06
Speaker 1: your head hits the pillow.
21:10
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's what do we you know, what do we
21:13
Speaker 5: lay down on at night?
21:16
Speaker 6: What do we when we have that moment where the
21:20
Speaker 6: day is parting from us? What what do we think?
21:27
Speaker 6: What are our thoughts and how do we use those
21:29
Speaker 6: to guide us? Because that's really the time, you know,
21:32
Speaker 6: we're so busy dealing with this and that throughout the day,
21:35
Speaker 6: running from one thing to another, when we really kind
21:38
Speaker 6: of can come back to, Okay, what what am I
21:42
Speaker 6: all about?
21:43
Speaker 5: What?
21:43
Speaker 6: What's really my poor belief system? And how well did
21:48
Speaker 6: I live into that today? And and that's connected.
21:53
Speaker 5: That's where the pillar test comes from.
21:55
Speaker 3: Tell me about broken windows.
21:59
Speaker 6: I look at the broken windows. It's really about cultivating
22:05
Speaker 6: our climate that we live in. And you know, the
22:10
Speaker 6: broken windows theory, you know, it was a lot talked
22:15
Speaker 6: about in New York City when they were cleaning up
22:16
Speaker 6: the subways and things and the crime went down, And
22:20
Speaker 6: that's that theory has kind.
22:22
Speaker 5: Of been.
22:24
Speaker 6: Debunked a little bit by Malcolm Gladwell talking about the
22:27
Speaker 6: impact of abortion and the decline in the population of
22:33
Speaker 6: males that was.
22:36
Speaker 5: Potentially committing those crimes in New York City. So there's
22:40
Speaker 5: a corollary there. But I look at the broken windows part.
22:43
Speaker 5: It's just it's it's the little things we do. It's
22:47
Speaker 5: those routines we build, It's the little things we do
22:50
Speaker 5: to cultivate our culture and our climate. And it's you know,
22:55
Speaker 5: if you take.
22:56
Speaker 6: That coffee cup you've got this morning and it just
23:00
Speaker 6: goes in the sink, and tomorrow's coffee cup goes in
23:02
Speaker 6: the sink and you don't wash them for a couple
23:06
Speaker 6: of days, that that has an effect on the climate
23:10
Speaker 6: that you're living in, and it can have an effect
23:14
Speaker 6: on the on the climate for the people that you're
23:16
Speaker 6: living with.
23:18
Speaker 5: And you know, so.
23:19
Speaker 6: Those little things, if you just wash out that coffee
23:22
Speaker 6: cup when you're when you're done, that can make that
23:27
Speaker 6: can make a big impact.
23:29
Speaker 1: What about the this is fascinating little little things like that.
23:34
Speaker 1: I love that analogy. What about the butterfly effect? And
23:39
Speaker 1: I want I want to hear what you're what you're
23:42
Speaker 1: saying about wilting flowers.
23:44
Speaker 6: Yeah, so the butterfly effect is that you know, there's
23:49
Speaker 6: there's a rip.
23:50
Speaker 5: You know.
23:50
Speaker 6: The the idea of it is a butterfly flaps its
23:53
Speaker 6: wings in China and it affects things over in the
23:58
Speaker 6: United States because of wind patterns and weather and the
24:01
Speaker 6: ripple effect, and you know, you throw upon a rock
24:04
Speaker 6: in the pond and it causes a ripple.
24:07
Speaker 5: And in my school, we had a teacher came up
24:11
Speaker 5: with the idea of ripple.
24:12
Speaker 6: Cards and because our motto was take care of yourself,
24:15
Speaker 6: take care of others, and take care of a trail.
24:18
Speaker 5: And we had.
24:19
Speaker 6: Little business cards printed up and anytime a kid was
24:23
Speaker 6: doing something that was positive, teachers could just give the
24:26
Speaker 6: kid a card. So it was a quick and then
24:29
Speaker 6: we had different activities and things that the students could
24:34
Speaker 6: turn in their ripple cards to be participated. So it
24:38
Speaker 6: was just a way to kind of recognize those ripples
24:42
Speaker 6: when somebody, you know, somebody drops their books in the hallway,
24:44
Speaker 6: somebody stops to pick them up. Hey, thanks, you know,
24:46
Speaker 6: here's a ripple card for that. And it's those you know,
24:51
Speaker 6: that butterfly effect of just what you do affects other people.
24:56
Speaker 6: You know, when you when you smile at that checkout
24:59
Speaker 6: girl and the in the cast reddit, that affects their
25:02
Speaker 6: day and in a positive way. And so you know,
25:08
Speaker 6: recognizing that and keeping that in mind.
25:10
Speaker 5: As you go throughout your day. You're not just going
25:13
Speaker 5: through this alone. You have that impact on others around you.
25:20
Speaker 6: And then the wilting Flowers is, you know, others need
25:25
Speaker 6: care and we need we need to be there and
25:29
Speaker 6: recognize that when when and be aware when others are
25:33
Speaker 6: needing a little watering, a little bit of a little
25:37
Speaker 6: bit of hope, a little bit of a caring message.
25:41
Speaker 6: And that might just be that girl at the checkout
25:43
Speaker 6: counter that you smiled and said hello to and had
25:46
Speaker 6: a quick conversation with that might have changed their day
25:49
Speaker 6: because you saw them, you interacted with them.
25:52
Speaker 5: They weren't just somebody that you passed by.
26:00
Speaker 1: This is uh, this is such wonderful stuff. I mean,
26:06
Speaker 1: like we let off by saying it doesn't matter if
26:10
Speaker 1: you're a young child or a student at a school,
26:14
Speaker 1: or a teacher or the custodian or what have you.
26:21
Speaker 1: This is all stuff that we all need. Man, it
26:25
Speaker 1: doesn't matter who you are. What's the growth mindset? I mean,
26:30
Speaker 1: I you know, I love your breakdown stuff is fascinating.
26:35
Speaker 3: When what's this all about?
26:38
Speaker 5: So the growth mindset?
26:40
Speaker 6: There's research about, you know, fixed mindsets versus growth mindsets
26:46
Speaker 6: that the idea the fixed mindset is you're born with
26:50
Speaker 6: a certain amount of intelligence and skill and that's it.
26:54
Speaker 5: And the growth.
26:55
Speaker 6: Mindset is that you can learn and grow and develop
27:01
Speaker 6: new knowledge, new skills, and and you can change and
27:06
Speaker 6: and that's that's a key part of you know, I've
27:11
Speaker 6: seen a number of students in school come in and
27:14
Speaker 6: they've got to they've got to fixed mindset.
27:16
Speaker 5: I'm I'm not smart.
27:18
Speaker 6: I can't I can't do math, I can't do this,
27:21
Speaker 6: I can't do that, because they've been told.
27:23
Speaker 5: Over and over again that they couldn't do that.
27:25
Speaker 6: Yeah, and the and the growth mindset is really adding
27:30
Speaker 6: just a couple of simple words to.
27:32
Speaker 5: That, This is I can't do that yet, right, you know, I.
27:38
Speaker 6: Can work on that, you know, And and I think
27:41
Speaker 6: of it in my life just with you know, I'm
27:45
Speaker 6: trying to get myself back exercising and back in shape,
27:49
Speaker 6: and you.
27:50
Speaker 5: Know I can't do that yet.
27:52
Speaker 6: I can't lift the weight I used to lift yet,
27:55
Speaker 6: I can't walk or run.
27:58
Speaker 5: The distance I used to run yet.
28:00
Speaker 6: But I can get there because if I put in
28:03
Speaker 6: that little bit of work every day, that's going to
28:06
Speaker 6: help me get there.
28:09
Speaker 3: The growing brain, Talk to me, what is this all about?
28:16
Speaker 6: So are there's fascinating brain research fascinates me and a
28:22
Speaker 6: lot has come out in the last twenty years really
28:26
Speaker 6: with understanding how brains work and the resiliency and it's amazing.
28:37
Speaker 6: And just students' brains especially are continuing to grow. I
28:43
Speaker 6: mean when we talk about students and you're looking at
28:46
Speaker 6: I was a middle school principal, so you know, a twelve.
28:50
Speaker 5: Year old student, their brain is not fully developed yet.
28:56
Speaker 6: And you know, if you have that perspective working with
29:00
Speaker 6: that student and they're doing something, you know your daughter
29:06
Speaker 6: does something that frustrates you.
29:07
Speaker 5: And you're like, why are you doing that?
29:10
Speaker 6: You could get upset because you're expecting them to be
29:13
Speaker 6: thinking about it the way you would like an adult.
29:16
Speaker 5: But their brains still growing. Why they're doing that is
29:21
Speaker 5: because they didn't think of it about it the way you.
29:23
Speaker 6: Do, because their brain is still growing and developing and
29:26
Speaker 6: they haven't had all those experiences. And so it's understanding,
29:31
Speaker 6: especially as we're working with kids that they're not adults,
29:36
Speaker 6: their brain is continuing to grow and develop, and even
29:40
Speaker 6: as adults, our brain can continue to grow as we
29:43
Speaker 6: continue to learn new skills and challenge ourselves and have
29:47
Speaker 6: different experiences and taste new food, and all.
29:51
Speaker 5: Of that continues to affect our brain.
29:56
Speaker 1: How long have you? Just to tell us a little
30:00
Speaker 1: bit about your history. You've been an educator, You've been
30:07
Speaker 1: doing this for a long time.
30:11
Speaker 5: Yeah. I started as a social studies teacher.
30:14
Speaker 6: I got my first job in nineteen ninety teaching seventh
30:21
Speaker 6: grade and tenth grade social studies, and then.
30:25
Speaker 5: Pretty much in middle school.
30:29
Speaker 6: My whole career that It was about a half year
30:31
Speaker 6: doing the tenth grade and then I was seventh or
30:33
Speaker 6: eighth grade social studies.
30:35
Speaker 5: I worked in a couple of different school districts.
30:39
Speaker 6: In one district in Webstern, New York, I taught we
30:43
Speaker 6: had more kids than would fit on one team, so
30:45
Speaker 6: we created a half team, so I had the opportunity.
30:49
Speaker 5: I had my elementary certification as.
30:51
Speaker 6: Well as my social studies, so I was able to
30:54
Speaker 6: teach all the four course taught English, Math, Science, and
30:57
Speaker 6: social studies in the middle school.
31:01
Speaker 5: Then I had an opportunity.
31:04
Speaker 6: For about three years, I was an a rich and
31:06
Speaker 6: specialist in the middle school, helping teachers just challenge kids
31:11
Speaker 6: thinking and getting them to really expand that and the
31:15
Speaker 6: kids that were ready to take concepts and things and
31:17
Speaker 6: run with them, how we challenge them. And then moved
31:22
Speaker 6: into administration in two thousand and.
31:28
Speaker 5: Four, got hired as an assistant principal.
31:30
Speaker 6: And then was in that role for four years and
31:35
Speaker 6: then became building principle for the last fourteen years before
31:38
Speaker 6: I retired.
31:41
Speaker 1: How did did Tom from Sweethearts and Heroes find you?
31:46
Speaker 1: Or did you find him came?
31:49
Speaker 6: I first met Tom at New York State Middle School
31:52
Speaker 6: Association conference and he was giving part of the keynote,
32:00
Speaker 6: and just his energy and the message around bullying and
32:05
Speaker 6: it just fit with what we were trying to create
32:08
Speaker 6: in my school. And once I had Tom and Rick
32:13
Speaker 6: in to present and they.
32:17
Speaker 5: Killed it.
32:18
Speaker 6: I mean the kids were just mobbing them after the
32:22
Speaker 6: presentations and wanting to it just made such an impact,
32:27
Speaker 6: and then the staff started coming to me and saying,
32:30
Speaker 6: you know, some of the staff that had been there
32:32
Speaker 6: for twenty years said, this was the best assembly we've
32:36
Speaker 6: ever had, and because the message impacts the adults as
32:42
Speaker 6: well as the kids. And one thing I knew about
32:46
Speaker 6: my staff was they were all struggling with challenges. They
32:50
Speaker 6: had kids, they had aging parents, they had different issues.
32:54
Speaker 6: We had staff that were struggling with their bills, yeah,
32:58
Speaker 6: struggling to make their rent payments.
33:01
Speaker 5: And so the message that they got from the presentation was.
33:07
Speaker 6: That the hold on possibilities exist, and you know, Rick's
33:12
Speaker 6: story helped help them put their experience into into perspective
33:16
Speaker 6: that hey, yeah, it's it's hard right now, but it
33:19
Speaker 6: could be a lot worse.
33:20
Speaker 5: I could be I could have had a lot more challenges.
33:24
Speaker 6: And then I just we had them back. And the
33:30
Speaker 6: the fun part that I enjoyed it was kind of
33:33
Speaker 6: pushing Tom a little bit in that, you know, their
33:36
Speaker 6: presentation is, you know, the seventh and eighth grader presentation.
33:41
Speaker 6: It's the same presentation. So if you haven't back the
33:44
Speaker 6: next year, the kids have already seen it. So I
33:47
Speaker 6: had to say to them, hey, we want to have
33:49
Speaker 6: you back, but you need to What can we do
33:51
Speaker 6: a little bit different from my eighth graders next year?
33:54
Speaker 3: Yeah? Wow?
33:55
Speaker 6: And and that that they evolved.
33:59
Speaker 5: They came up with some new things and we.
34:02
Speaker 6: Had a system where the sixth grade got a certain presentation,
34:05
Speaker 6: the seventh grade got one, and then eighth grade. It
34:08
Speaker 6: was a little different, focusing on leadership and empathy and
34:12
Speaker 6: it was great and it really made a difference for
34:15
Speaker 6: our kids.
34:16
Speaker 1: And Tom's come up with so many acronyms since I mean,
34:20
Speaker 1: you just mentioned hope, h ope, hold on, possibilities exist.
34:27
Speaker 1: That's probably one of the biggest ones that you guys
34:30
Speaker 1: hang your hat on.
34:33
Speaker 6: Yeah, And really it's in everything we do, whether it's
34:38
Speaker 6: the Thirteen Pillows book, the Boredom School Book, Rick's Book,
34:42
Speaker 6: a bridge named Amos, the presentations, the Brave Program, the
34:47
Speaker 6: Step program. That's part of all of that is how
34:52
Speaker 6: do we instill hope in other people? And because if
34:57
Speaker 6: you have hope, you can you can get through anything.
35:05
Speaker 1: Last night, you know, I'm sitting here, I'm listening to
35:12
Speaker 1: you and like I hope, so many others are and
35:16
Speaker 1: having their own takeaways from your words. But I'm sitting
35:21
Speaker 1: here and I'm thinking about last night, sitting on the
35:29
Speaker 1: couch and got a really important text message from my
35:38
Speaker 1: surgeon who's getting ready to put a new shoulder in tomorrow.
35:45
Speaker 1: And just as I get this text message, literally the
35:49
Speaker 1: second that I got at I glance at my phone,
35:53
Speaker 1: and of course, you know, it takes a half a
35:59
Speaker 1: second to react to something like that. Whoa, there's the
36:05
Speaker 1: red flag, hang on, important, stop everything, important message from
36:11
Speaker 1: the doctor. But just at that same exact second, my
36:17
Speaker 1: little girl was standing right in front of me and
36:20
Speaker 1: was trying to tell me something and show me something.
36:27
Speaker 3: And it wasn't easy, but I.
36:35
Speaker 1: Had to quickly make a decision, a conscious, an intentional decision,
36:43
Speaker 1: in a split second to look away from that phone,
36:48
Speaker 1: not only to look away from it, but to flip
36:51
Speaker 1: it upside down and set it down on the couch
36:54
Speaker 1: next to me, and then take my hands and put
36:58
Speaker 1: them on my lap and lock eyes with her and
37:03
Speaker 1: give her one hundred percent of my undistracted attention. It's
37:14
Speaker 1: not easy to do that, but man, now, you know
37:17
Speaker 1: you you say behavior is communication? Yeah, is that an
37:24
Speaker 1: example of it right there?
37:26
Speaker 5: Exactly?
37:28
Speaker 6: Mean with if you had picked up the phone, you're
37:32
Speaker 6: communicating to her that the phone is more important than
37:35
Speaker 6: she is. Yeah, you know it's and by by doing that,
37:40
Speaker 6: you're communicating to her that she's.
37:44
Speaker 5: The most important thing for you.
37:45
Speaker 3: Yeah.
37:47
Speaker 5: And you know that's when you know to circle back
37:50
Speaker 5: to the pillow test.
37:51
Speaker 6: It's like, if that's what you that's what you're all about,
37:57
Speaker 6: if that's your core value and your core belief, then
38:01
Speaker 6: when you do that pillow test, I wish I had.
38:06
Speaker 5: I'm glad I did ties into that core belief. Yeah.
38:08
Speaker 5: You can put your head on the pillow last night,
38:10
Speaker 5: and I'm glad I gave my daughter that my full attention.
38:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
38:17
Speaker 6: You know, and that that impacts you internally because yes,
38:22
Speaker 6: I'm living into my values.
38:25
Speaker 1: I notice that, you know, our kids when when when
38:31
Speaker 1: something like this is happening, they're watching you like a
38:35
Speaker 1: damn hawk. Yep, brother Winton. I mean they're looking at
38:41
Speaker 1: your eyes, looking right through the back of your head
38:45
Speaker 1: and making sure that you're paying attention to them, that
38:50
Speaker 1: you're not just looking at them, but that you are
38:54
Speaker 1: really locked in and listening to what it is that
38:58
Speaker 1: they are saying mm hmm, and watch you do absolutely.
39:06
Speaker 1: And you know, at one point I was like I
39:11
Speaker 1: I had that that voice that turned onto my head
39:13
Speaker 1: for just a just a second that said, oh my god,
39:16
Speaker 1: I wonder if everything's all right with my surgeon. What's
39:18
Speaker 1: he telling me? You know, is he postponing the surgery?
39:23
Speaker 2: What?
39:23
Speaker 3: You know?
39:24
Speaker 1: But but but here's the thing, man, It's like And
39:27
Speaker 1: then I said to myself, it doesn't matter.
39:33
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. It just doesn't.
39:39
Speaker 5: Yeah.
39:42
Speaker 1: You you talk about with sweethearts and heroes about moments
39:49
Speaker 1: that we go through in our lives, experiences that we
39:54
Speaker 1: have that are teachable, and there there are so many.
40:02
Speaker 1: And I go back to my good friend Guy Bab
40:06
Speaker 1: who passed away from cancer and literally as he was
40:12
Speaker 1: just days away from from slipping away from us, said
40:16
Speaker 1: to me, just remember this with your daughter, who Lily
40:20
Speaker 1: was very very young at that point. It said to me,
40:24
Speaker 1: everything is an opportunity. Everything is a teachable moment with
40:32
Speaker 1: your kid, good, bad, ugly, no matter what happens, it's
40:38
Speaker 1: a teachable moment.
40:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it it.
40:46
Speaker 6: Because everything we do is an opportunity to to live
40:51
Speaker 6: into that caring culture that we want to create around us.
40:56
Speaker 5: And so you know, the.
40:59
Speaker 6: The times that you are focused on Lily, that's showing
41:03
Speaker 6: her that's a teachable moment because it's showing her how
41:06
Speaker 6: to be present for people. You know, if you're driving
41:11
Speaker 6: your car and you're trying to check your phone, you're
41:16
Speaker 6: teaching her that that's okay to do when she gets
41:18
Speaker 6: her license.
41:21
Speaker 5: And you know that.
41:22
Speaker 6: The other part is the conversations, like you use the
41:25
Speaker 6: example of you know, the checkout person was rude or something,
41:30
Speaker 6: and you know, that's a teachable moment to have that
41:33
Speaker 6: conversation to say, yeah, she wasn't nice, but she's probably
41:36
Speaker 6: struggling with some really heavy stuff right now, and and
41:40
Speaker 6: that's all that she.
41:41
Speaker 5: Could give us.
41:43
Speaker 6: And when somebody is doing something unkind or bullying or
41:49
Speaker 6: talking about somebody inappropriately, those are teachable moments that need
41:53
Speaker 6: to be addressed at that at that time as well,
41:57
Speaker 6: you know that that's not that's not appropriate, that's not
42:00
Speaker 6: how we talk about people, that's not what we do,
42:03
Speaker 6: and that person has deserves the dignity that because they're human.
42:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard you say that connection is more important
42:20
Speaker 1: than content.
42:23
Speaker 3: What do you mean by that?
42:24
Speaker 6: When everybody wants to feeling of belonging, a sense of
42:34
Speaker 6: a sense of connection with others, and you know, you
42:39
Speaker 6: get into kind of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and and
42:44
Speaker 6: that if you want to build, if we're if we're
42:47
Speaker 6: looking to build people that that have strong sense of
42:52
Speaker 6: self and self actualization and morality and creativity and spontaneity,
42:58
Speaker 6: we need they need that sense of belonging. And especially
43:01
Speaker 6: in today's world.
43:04
Speaker 5: You know, when I started teaching, we still use the
43:07
Speaker 5: Encyclopedia Britannica. We still had kids look stuff up in
43:11
Speaker 5: the encyclopedia because we didn't have the Internet. We barely
43:15
Speaker 5: got I got.
43:16
Speaker 6: I was ten years into my teaching career when I
43:18
Speaker 6: got my first computer in my classroom. So a lot
43:22
Speaker 6: has changed over the course of my career with regard
43:26
Speaker 6: to the content. Where when I started, I was much
43:30
Speaker 6: more the curator of the content for my students because
43:36
Speaker 6: I had the resources that contain that content. Now that's changed.
43:43
Speaker 6: Kids can look up anything, and really what the important
43:48
Speaker 6: part is all about is relationships. Students aren't going to
43:51
Speaker 6: learn from a teacher that they feel doesn't care about them,
43:56
Speaker 6: So it's building that connection and building that relationship, and
44:01
Speaker 6: students can go find the content. You want to know
44:03
Speaker 6: the five causes of the Civil War, You can do
44:08
Speaker 6: that in thirty seconds on Google. Yeah, and AI can
44:11
Speaker 6: write your paper for you. So you know, it's not
44:16
Speaker 6: about the content anymore.
44:18
Speaker 1: And you're saying that to a guy and I know
44:21
Speaker 1: that Leon could relate to this as well. You're saying
44:24
Speaker 1: that to a guy who has spent his whole career,
44:30
Speaker 1: in the last thirty plus years of believing wholeheartedly that
44:36
Speaker 1: content is king. But damn it, man, you are your
44:42
Speaker 1: spot on right. That connection wins over.
44:49
Speaker 5: Yeah, and in the day of AI and everything else.
44:53
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, even from a journalistic perspective, connection is
44:57
Speaker 6: what gets you, right. It's it's who you know and
45:04
Speaker 6: and the relationships you have with your sources that are
45:08
Speaker 6: going to get you the the truth or the accuracy
45:13
Speaker 6: of the story about what happened, because there's so many
45:17
Speaker 6: ways that that can be distorted if you're just looking.
45:24
Speaker 5: Online.
45:24
Speaker 6: Yeah, and so those those connections become more important. But
45:29
Speaker 6: it's really you know, if if there's somebody that you
45:34
Speaker 6: don't value or you don't respect and they're trying to
45:39
Speaker 6: give you information and a lesson, you're not as focused
45:45
Speaker 6: on that content, you don't find that content.
45:47
Speaker 5: You know, you're not as present. You're more likely to want.
45:51
Speaker 6: To pick up that phone to check that text message,
45:54
Speaker 6: you know, but if you're if it's somebody that you're
45:57
Speaker 6: connected with that you're like, yeah, this person.
45:59
Speaker 5: Really has it going on and understands things, and.
46:06
Speaker 6: You value them because you've got that personal connection with
46:09
Speaker 6: them that's you pay attention to.
46:14
Speaker 5: You're hanging on every word they say.
46:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, so so true. Man.
46:22
Speaker 1: Shout out to Wells River Chevrolet. Shout out to Cody
46:29
Speaker 1: Chevrolet and all of the Chevy dealers that have backed
46:35
Speaker 1: you guys up and supported the mission the goals of
46:41
Speaker 1: Sweethearts and Heroes.
46:45
Speaker 6: Yeah, we can't say enough about the impact that their
46:51
Speaker 6: support has had in the schools that we've been able
46:55
Speaker 6: to get to this year. And we still have a
46:56
Speaker 6: couple coming up. We're going to be in Wells River,
47:00
Speaker 6: were coming up on March sixteenth and seventeenth at Oxbow
47:03
Speaker 6: High School, and we wouldn't have been able to have
47:09
Speaker 6: that impact without their their support.
47:13
Speaker 5: So greatly appreciate it.
47:15
Speaker 1: These the folks that we have had on over the
47:21
Speaker 1: last couple of months every Wednesday from Sweethearts and Heroes.
47:26
Speaker 1: And it's not just I mean, you know, I could
47:28
Speaker 1: say Brian, I could say loud and I could say you,
47:31
Speaker 1: Tom Rick, all of you, but man, it's like, look
47:35
Speaker 1: at Eric bizetto the pe teacher at JFK Elementary in Brewster,
47:41
Speaker 1: New York. What a powerhouse that guy is. And Melissa Fisher.
47:50
Speaker 1: To be able to branch outside of the immediate team
47:54
Speaker 1: of sweethearts and heroes and get the folk folks who
48:00
Speaker 1: can give real testimony of what you guys have done
48:05
Speaker 1: in their schools is so amazing.
48:11
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's that's it's so incredible for us.
48:17
Speaker 6: But that's really our goal, you know, like if we
48:21
Speaker 6: we don't want to be the people that have to
48:24
Speaker 6: go back to a school every year to present, you know,
48:28
Speaker 6: our goal is to empower the students and the staff.
48:32
Speaker 5: In the school.
48:34
Speaker 3: Give me the tools, with.
48:36
Speaker 5: The tools, with the perspective to take it and run
48:41
Speaker 5: with it.
48:42
Speaker 6: And and so when you know the folks that are
48:45
Speaker 6: doing that, like Eric and Melissa, it's just incredible what
48:50
Speaker 6: they can now do for their school because they they're
48:54
Speaker 6: now able to do that every day, whereas you know,
48:58
Speaker 6: we go in for a day here or there, and
49:01
Speaker 6: and that just makes a huge difference.
49:03
Speaker 1: I'm told Chris Neville is going to be with me awesome.
49:08
Speaker 1: Tell me about him.
49:10
Speaker 6: He's got an elementary school Vermont and we were there
49:16
Speaker 6: last year and just he.
49:22
Speaker 5: Brought us in.
49:25
Speaker 6: It's connected with Tom and so he's familiar with the
49:29
Speaker 6: message and said, this is what my school needs. And
49:32
Speaker 6: we had the opportunity with the Chevy sponsorship last year
49:35
Speaker 6: to go present at his school and he's continued that
49:40
Speaker 6: work moving forward.
49:41
Speaker 1: To so Brickside Primary School and I look forward to
49:46
Speaker 1: having him on the air next Wednesday. So much. Man,
49:49
Speaker 1: you guys are all a few. Every single one of
49:52
Speaker 1: you is incredible with what you bring, what you do
49:56
Speaker 1: for our community, what you do for our students, our
50:01
Speaker 1: young impressionable minds and hearts, giving them tools to go far, far,
50:11
Speaker 1: far beyond the classroom.
50:13
Speaker 3: Man.
50:14
Speaker 1: Absolutely adore every single one of you, and I am
50:18
Speaker 1: so blessed to be working with you every Wednesday. Wint
50:22
Speaker 1: and Buddington from Sweethearts and Heroes, thank you, my man,
50:25
Speaker 1: so much.
50:27
Speaker 6: Thank you JD and just if anybody's interested in the
50:30
Speaker 6: Thirteen Pillows book, our website is Sweethearts Andheroes dot com.
50:33
Speaker 5: They can check it out there. I think it's also
50:36
Speaker 5: on Amazon too.
50:37
Speaker 6: But I appreciate the time with you today and the
50:40
Speaker 6: opportunity to have our conversation and really it was great.
50:44
Speaker 1: Always Buddy, listen, get back to the sunshine. There you're
50:47
Speaker 1: you're what hilton Head, South Carolina. Yep, amazing.
50:53
Speaker 3: Stay well, bud Hey you too, take care.
50:56
Speaker 1: Big love to you. That's Wint and Buddington right there.
50:58
Speaker 1: From Sweethearts and Heroes Sweetheartscenharoes dot com check them out.
51:03
Speaker 1: Every single Wednesday, we devote our airwaves here to give
51:09
Speaker 1: you positive podcasting, the profound messages and the goodness that
51:16
Speaker 1: they bring to so many people. Sweethearts and Heroes, so
51:20
Speaker 1: blessed to be connected with them here at the Aired
51:22
Speaker 1: out Podcast