Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Do You Need To Constantly Be Productive? Toxic Productivity Is a Trauma Response

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Do You Need To Constantly Be Productive? Toxic Productivity Is a Trauma Response · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, mentor, energy healer, Akasha Breeder, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out the BS, and really create a life you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepeupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Another episode of the podcast, I have a short and sweet episode for you guys, and that is about toxic productivity.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: But before we get into that, I just want to thank you guys for listening to the podcast.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you enjoy.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: My goal with the podcast is to give you as much value and also literally things that you can do and start implementing now that are really going to shift your alignment, shift your life, shift your health, shift your relationships, shift everything for you.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: So this post was one of the most popular posts on my Instagram when I mentioned that your need to constantly be productive is actually a trauma response because you don't feel safe.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what we're diving into today.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because I noticed this with a ton of my clients who come to me, a ton of women, it's this toxic productivity, super woman, superhuman, be able to do it all.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I used to wear this as a badge of honor.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: So like raising my hand, I definitely used to be like this.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So just so you know, recovering toxic positivity, but not positivity, uh productivity person over here.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And we live in a culture that really prides itself on hard work and productivity.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And neither of those things are inherently bad.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: But when you're driven to be productive nonstop, really at the expense of your physical health, emotional health, mental health, your feminine energy, you're likely experiencing toxic productivity.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: So many people have experienced trauma and don't label those experiences as such.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And they also don't know that they're engaging in a trauma response because they may not realize that what they underwent is trauma.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times people are like, well, it wasn't that bad.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I had a normal childhood, you know, even like mom and dad were together, like nothing major, no forms of abuse.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean that you don't have trauma.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you're unclear about what trauma is, I did a beautiful episode really explaining trauma in the body, what trauma is, I would definitely go back and listen to that.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Even go listen to it if you listen to it before, just to kind of really remind yourself.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because I bet you, after listening to this episode and that one, you'll be like, oh, and you'll start to put it together.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So toxic productivity are all considered, you know, an unhealthy, essentially coping mechanism to deal with your trauma.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Being busy, having a packed calendar, a never-ending to-do list, always needing to go, go, go.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: The busyness just serves as a distraction.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you always need to be doing something, if you always need your calendar to be full, this is you.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I remember one time when my friend sorry, I think my fiance's yelling at my dog.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I remember one time a friend had told me about someone she knows who can't sit in the car without calling someone, without calling someone to take up the time.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And like actually gets anxiety if you know she's not doing something all the time.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Impacts her social calendar, impacts her schedule, and like cannot just slow down.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's a perfect example.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Can you sit and just be with yourself?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be versus like, do you have to be always scrolling something or listening to a podcast or watching TV?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, or can you just sit and be with your thoughts, stare out the window?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I would say at least 15 minutes, but like, can you do that for an hour?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this all comes from instability, triggers, feelings like things are unstable, and giving being productive rather, gives you something else to focus on.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when you don't actually want to deal with what's going on, you go into being productive.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: And a key part of trauma healing is approaching uncomfortable feelings and scary environments and really holding space for those feelings.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: So this involves really recognizing what thoughts are coming up, recognize the behaviors that are triggering, and really working through that.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to go through some of the quintessential signs that you are engaging in toxic productivity, and then we're gonna dive into how that kind of shows up in all the areas of your life.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: So that looks like prioritizing work over health.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: So working long hours with little rest, skipping meals, eating fast food in the go, not exercising due to lack of time, feeling guilty for taking a break.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: So any kind of downtime produces anxiety.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know even for like a lot of entrepreneurs, it's like, oh, I need to always be working, working.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: If I were to tell you to take a bath at 1 p.m.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: or watch a show, that's what you need.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Can you do that?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it like, no, gotta work, gotta work, gotta work, right?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's a trauma response.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Engaging in round the clock multitasking, always need to be, I don't know, listen to a podcast in the shower and this and that, and like there's nothing wrong with habit stacking, but if you feel like, oh, I need to do things, it's like this inherent need where your body essentially gets triggered or freaks out if it's not being productive.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Only focusing on tasks with a clear objective.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, can you only do things that you feel are productive?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Could you color?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, could you mold with clay?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Could you I think things that aren't productive?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Technically, cooking is semi-productive.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but like for me personally, it was a lot about can I make a recipe just to make a recipe just to cook without the need to be productive and also film it?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And there's sometimes where I like I film things, you know, because I want to, but there was a time where I was like, I feel like I always have to be productive.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: I always have to film it because I need to get content, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of another aspect of it, especially if you're an entrepreneur.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can you do things just for the sake of doing things?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Constantly comparing yourself to others, another sign.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Never really feeling satisfied with your work.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: So this is also a sign of perfectionism, but always feeling like I could do more, I could do more, do more, and needing to do more.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Frequently feeling irritable and tired, and that's because you actually need a break, you're just not giving yourself the permission to take one.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Neglecting personal relationships, this one is major, and working to avoid uncomfortable feelings or dealing with personal problems.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, normally when you slow down, those feelings come to the surface, and you just want to avoid them, so you're trying to be productive.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And unfortunately, you can't product productivity your way out of it.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: And first of all, this obviously shows up in our health, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to hop in and let you guys know about Goddess Activation.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is my signature program to cultivate deep self-love.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Look, you deserve to feel delicious in the skin that you are in and to love not only the life you are living, but yourself so that you can become a natural magnet to everything you desire and live in more alignment.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: These are all the tools, techniques, reprogramming to bring so much pleasure into your life that your heart radiates.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you engage negative self-talk, people please have trouble setting boundaries, hate your body, this is your sign because I've been there and it sucks.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But what you have to understand is that when you love yourself on a truly deep level, everything in your life improves.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Your relationships, your friendships, your magnetism, your career, your happiness, your health, even how much money you make.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Everything in life is a direct reflection about how you feel about yourself and what you believe you are worthy and deserving of.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start living a life where you feel magnetic and delicious in your body.
• 8:12
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• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Get in.
• 8:17
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• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Check out the description and DM me any questions.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: This shows up in our sleep and our brain not being able to shut off, not getting restful sleep.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: This shows up in our adrenals, we get adrenal burnout, we start either producing too much cortisol, or if you've been doing this for a long time, you go basically into cortisol failure and then you make no cortisol and then you're tired all the time.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: This shows up in your hormones.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Either you have a painful cycle with irregularities, you know, PMS.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you listening, if you're new, PMS is not normal.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: You should not have cramps, breast tenderness, mood swings, any of that kind of stuff during your cycle, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: But it's going to show up there because you were not in your feminine energy when you were in toxic productivity.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And your monthly cycle is a feminine energy report card.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: So just use that as like, huh, great.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I I had a nice like cycle this time.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't had having any cramps, I wouldn't have this.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful, I know my feminine.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I noticed that my cycle is a bit off this month.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm feeling more crampy than normal.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Where can I honor my feminine energy?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Everything like that.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So this toxic productivity trauma response shows up in your health, your hormones because of your adrenals and your like feminine energy hormones when it comes to estrogen, progesterone, etc.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And just know that like unprocessed trauma that you're not dealing with that is underlying the surface, that you're putting a nice little band-aid of toxic productivity on top, and still running the show in your hormones and your adrenals, and of course in your nervous system response, right?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: When our nervous system is in fight or flight, it does not properly make the neurotransmitters, the hormones, everything our body needs to feel in a calm state.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: So no wonder you also feel it can fight or flight, like you need to be productive.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's because you also are constantly wiring a fight or flight response into your system by being productive.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: So you're actually making it worse through your toxic productivity, all the trauma, all the emotions that you're feeling, and you're just adding fuel to the fire, which is unfortunate.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then you get stuck in this vicious cycle of like really feeling shitty, but you're adding fuel to the fire because you don't want to avoid, and you want to avoid rather your trauma and your emotions.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: So you put more fuel in the fire, and then we get into this vicious cycle.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's awful.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: So we want to break that cycle.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said earlier, the first thing is to do is to recognize these behaviors, recognize what's triggering, and really start to sit with that and work through that.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we will be doing all of this kind of stuff of feminine energy, healing the masculine wound, which is toxic productivity, basically comes down to wounded masculine in goddess activation.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I highly recommend checking out the link below if you know you need to work on this, because this is where we do the deep healing work to really break out of this.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's really hard for you.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: If I were to say just sit and be and stare at the window for 15 minutes, if the trauma response is still going on in your body, you haven't completed that.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna tell me, Liv, it's really hard.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Lib, I always fall back to you know being toxically productive or into my masculine.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason you fall back into it is that you haven't completed the trauma response and you haven't brought the safety in and you haven't integrated it in a way that allows your nervous system to feel safe.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the power of the work that I do is I allow the safeness for you to actually break out of the cycle.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: But number one thing is you have to start becoming aware of that.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, with that, it also starts to affect, like we said, your relationships.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's need to toxically be productive, you're probably avoiding certain relationship issues.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: You're also probably overgiving, and then that's building resentment, whether it's in friendships or romantic relationships.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're becoming a people pleaser because you're overgiving, because you need to constantly be productive and please other people by going for coffee or doing this or whatever it is.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then that just adds fuel, even more fuel to the fire because you have resentment built up in you.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're also people pleasing, but you're not getting what you need in return, but you keep giving, giving, giving, hoping that you will, but you have nothing in the tank to give, right?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, when we have nothing in the tank to give, this is also then going to downstream affect your physical body in terms of adrenals and hormones and everything like that.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's affecting your health, it's affecting your relationships, and let's be honest, it's also affecting your happiness and your magnetism.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because it doesn't feel good to be toxically productive.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're burnt out as a female.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: We do not have 24-hour cycles like males, we have 28-day cycles, A.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: But B, even then, when we're toxically productive, we're not really honoring ourselves.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a form of self-rejection, right?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you do this, you are actually rejecting yourself, your intuition, your body signals.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: So then we wonder why our body is giving us a feedback of physical symptoms, of not being happy, of mood issues, mental health issues.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no wonder you've been rejecting yourself.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So no wonder your hormones are off, no wonder you're anxious, no wonder, you know, you have negative self-talk.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: You've been rejecting yourself literally by the actions.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Self-rejection isn't just looking in the mirror and being like, you know, you're ugly or whatever it is, or complaining with the physical things.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like self-rejection is people pleasing, self-rejection is not setting boundaries, self-rejection is toxic productivity.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Those are all forms of self-rejection that aren't talked about as much as they should be, but have a large role in your physical, mental, and emotional health, and a role in all those bodies playing on each other.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: So the number one thing I want you to do is I want you to identify whether you engage in toxic productivity.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: If your to-do list is always too long, if you feel like you sit down at the end of the day and want, oh, well, I should do the dishes, I should do this, I should get this done, I should.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Essentially, if there's a should or there's a feeling of guilt, it's probably toxic productivity.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you feel, if you know your schedule is jam-packed and the idea of having like a clear schedule overwhelms you, triggers you, probably toxic productivity.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: So just start asking yourself and being honest, and then noticing what are the thoughts that come up around that.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't know, if I don't clean the dishes, I won't be a good mom, I won't be this, like, and then you'll start to see, all right, that's probably where I learned it.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: You probably learned toxic productivity for a lot of us.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was modeled to us, right?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: This is the one of the ways that we're conditioned, right?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's three types of conditioning: verbal conditioning, modeling, and experiences.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Whether mom or your primary caregiver, whatever your role of the feminine was for you, verbally said, you know, women always, you know, should you should always be doing something or always being productive.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, whatever it is, something along those lines.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: She could have modeled the fact that she never took a break, was either always doing laundry or dishes running to work, the groceries, taking you to soccer, or whatever it is, you know, that was modeled.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so you can really kind of see why your conditioning kind of comes in.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then also any trauma that you experience just adds a different layer in there.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we can kind of start to build this web of where your tendency for toxic productivity comes in.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: So with that being said, I hope this was helpful breaking down why kind of toxic productivity can be so harmful.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: The reason that you need to constantly be productive is because you need to feel safe, because without it, all these emotions come up, it's not safe, it's not safe because you might be abandoned, rejected, you might be viewed as, you know, not a good woman or a good partner or good this, right?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's the fear of judgment.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Really getting clear on like what you're afraid of, what those thoughts are, and really start working through them so that you can heal your toxic productivity.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: And with that being said, I will see you guys in the next episode.