Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 232 - The unwritten rules that RULE our world

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 232 - The unwritten rules that RULE our world · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today we are talking about the rules that are unwritten.
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  That rule us. Sounds kind of crazy, right?
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  We have rules that are unwritten, meaning we are
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  unaware of them, but they rule us regularly.
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  They they really drive us and they are the force behind our
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  decisions. But yes, that is true.
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  And you know, we have talked before about concepts about this
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  in many different ways, but these are these are kind of
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  tricky because these are things that we live by that we don't
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  actually know our rules until they show up.
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  So an example of something silly might be how you load the
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  dishwasher. So you have an unconscious rule
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  that says every time you open the bottom, pull out of the
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  dishwasher, the plates have to go in a certain spot in a
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  certain direction and the silverware has to go in a
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  certain spot in a certain direction.
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  And you have all of these different aspects of rules that
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  are protocol for the dishwasher. Well, what happens when somebody
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  else comes in your house and they're helping you clean up and
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  they don't do it the way you do it, or even people in your house
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  don't do it the way you do it. And you get irritated and you
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  find that you are getting irritated and you use language
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  like they're not loading the dishwasher the right way.
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  That is a key for an unwritten rule because as far as I know,
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  the dishwasher did not come with a manual that said how to load
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  it properly in the directions of certain things.
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  It might have said explained how to use The Jets, but it did not
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  explain other aspects of it. So there would be a unwritten
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  rule that's being driven. And for me, let me explain to
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  you why I used that one because I definitely have an unwritten
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  rule about how to load the dishwasher, just like how to do
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  laundry, just like how to make a bed.
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  I have lots of rules around things when it comes to order.
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  Now, those things I was, I would, I was honestly never
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  aware of them until I had other people in my life.
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  And then it became an issue because you're not doing it the
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  right way. And then the questions would
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  always be, well, why is it the right way?
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  It's just your way. That doesn't mean it's the right
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  way. And those are valid points, and
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  my reaction to those used to be much more unresourceful than
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  they are now. But the point is these this game
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  of rules is not just about the dishwasher.
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  Now. I used it as a silly example to
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  make everybody laugh. However, there are parts of this
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  that come up all the time in our world.
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  And what's so imperative and so important that we pay attention
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  to is these show up in our work life, they show up in our
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  relationships, they show up in everything that we do.
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  And if we're not conscious of what we are thinking about and
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  what our unwritten rules are, we will forever be taken advantage
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  of in our own consciousness by the stuff that we haven't worked
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  through. So when you start to have
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  conflict with other people, you have to ask yourself, am I
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  running into a rule that I didn't know anything about?
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  Is there something here that I need to check in with myself
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  about? And that's what this is really
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  about today. When conflict arises, when
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  things show up, when you have these elements of your life that
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  are present, you have to always come back to what is my role in
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  this and how is my reaction and how is my belief and how is my
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  tonality, how is my structure dictating an outcome here that
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  I'm clearly not happy with and I'm not enjoying?
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  Because obviously if I'm in conflict, well, this is
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  something I have to look at. Now, on the flip side of this,
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  this works in the positive too. Like you have all these things
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  that go on behind the scenes. And it could be that, you know,
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  you don't know all these little things that make you happy and
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  then someone does them and you're like, oh, this makes me
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  so happy. But it's not something you ever
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  realized about yourself. And it there's just a little
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  tiny piece of it that says, oh, yeah, that's wonderful.
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  And then now you have awareness of it.
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  It's now gone from something that you were unaware of to
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  something that you are aware of and you know.
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  When you know better, you can do better.
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  As Maya Angelou says, when you know better, you can do better.
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  But if you don't know, you're just going to be subjected to
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  the existence that's unconscious and probably not cultivated in a
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  way that you would particularly like.
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  So today I'm going to ask you to look for the rules.
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  What are your unwritten rules? What are the things that you do
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  not know about that you want to bring into your consciousness so
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  that you can cultivate them, that you can fix them, that you
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  can grow them or shrink them and make them something that is a
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  useful tool as opposed to something that is a nuisance
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  tool? I hope you guys have a very
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  blessed day and I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Bye.