Latest / Freedom Flip / Acceptance, Truth, and the Tension Between Letting Go and Taking Action - EP009

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Acceptance, Truth, and the Tension Between Letting Go and Taking Action - EP009 · Freedom Flip

• 0:00
  I'm going to face this fear that I have. I almost died in the ocean when I was 14 years old. So therefore, I don't like going to the ocean. We went to a surf ranch in California. I don't know how this works. Massive first wave comes and they're like, Pedal, pedal, pedal. I'm like...
• 0:16
  gasping totally out of breath. Like if I'm running a marathon. At the beginning it was scary, but what did I do? I almost died when I was 14, so I'm pretty scared about this. So can you watch me please that I don't die? Thank you. First of all, it's not a conversation. This is an order. Don't let me die. And I'm like, I'm like with the bow.
• 0:36
  putting the wetsuit, like the whole thing. I'm like, I put the wetsuit the other way around. I'm like, oh, I'm nervous. When something feels off, like we don't feel good. A lot of times that's our brain saying it's dangerous. The problem is our brain mixes together uncomfortable and dangerous as the same mental firing of red alert, under attack. So how do I define dangerous versus uncomfortable? When something's uncomfortable, I usually need to do it. That's the rule. The investment.
• 1:03
  The conversation, dirty dopamine, right? So think gambling, social media, traditional news, gossiping. Those, you feel great before you do it. After you do it, you crash, right? You've got this depletion of dopamine. People that I interact with, which is something
• 1:20
  happens they can work and maybe change the outcome but they quote-unquote put a yoga face and they accept it they're like you know i need to accept you can definitely see that you're yourself there is a lot of confusion with acceptance you are lying to yourself you're not accepting you are giving up on whatever you really want
• 1:41
  Acceptance versus agency. So you fully accept the world as it is, or you have agency to change the world to be whatever you want. So the extreme is a monk on one extreme. Pure acceptance. I say yes to everything. The world's ending. Somebody's punching me. Somebody hates me. I accept it. I don't think that's how it works, but continue.
• 2:00
  There's more of they have come to acceptance of outside world. They're at peace with others and their attachments and the way they see the world. Or they try to be at peace. I want to say, I think they would all say they're human. The opposite of that is extreme ownership. I have agency over my life, my goals. I want to be changing constantly everything that I can to create this life that is my dream and adjust the world, people, things to arrive at that.
• 2:25
  This is a very fascinating topic, and I think that there is a lot of confusion with acceptance. Let me share with you what I have seen as a pattern in most of humanity, let's say, people that I know, people that I interact with, which is something...
• 2:40
  happens they can work and maybe change the outcome but they quote-unquote put a yoga face and they accept it they're like you know i need to accept that this other person is like this and it's like that i accept that you can definitely see that you are lying to yourself you're not accepting you are giving up on whatever you really want wow
• 3:01
  I believe that we should never give up and give up means stop taking action. We should never give up. We should never stop taking action on the things that are a must for us. And the things that are a must for us are the things that are connected to our nature, to who we, let me just say in a different way, to who we really are deep down. You and I, we are built different. We have different tendencies, right?
• 3:28
  I wouldn't say desires, but I would say, which of course we also have, but I would say we are inclined to do different things because our energy is different. As I said, you are more extroverted. I am more introverted. So this is why to me, the goal is I have to understand myself. I have to know myself and then I have to invest properly my time, my energy.
• 3:48
  And I can never give up investing accordingly. And I align to who I am. So what tends to happen, especially in couples, especially in couples, many times in jobs, is the other person, let's say your partner, is doing something that is really going against one of your non-negotiables, one of your must. And I don't think that we have more than five musts.
• 4:09
  maybe six, maybe three. Identifying what are your musts is so critical because you can just focus on that and you do this great with kids. What are the musts? Well, my kid must not die. Okay, done. That is only priority. Is it a must that the kid doesn't have chocolate in the t-shirt? No, it's not. It's a nice to have for sure. Okay, so separating musts and nice to have, so important because in the nice to haves, I don't need to negotiate. If it happens, good. If it doesn't happen, good.
• 4:38
  But I cannot negotiate my non-negotiables, my musts. And that is the important part because people give up on their musts, on their non-negotiables. And they call it acceptance. They maybe read a book about Hinduism, a book about Buddhism. Maybe they go to church and they pray and they're like, okay, I have to accept. I have to accept this person. Internally, there is like a massive clash, a massive conflict because it's going against who they are.
• 5:06
  And by the way, what the Bhagavad Gita says, and I'm paraphrasing here, is that we need to put all our focus and effort in doing the right action, taking action, and then releasing and letting go of what happens. Because we cannot control the outcome. What we can is control our action.
• 5:27
  So 100% of a focus in the action, 0% focus on the result. That doesn't mean that you're not going to check the result to then maybe change your action. Of course you will. But what we tend to do is we put 99% of the focus on the outcome and we do s*** to change the actions that we are taking. And by the way, when I say action, I want to clarify, inaction also is an action. Doing nothing, you are making that conscious decision of taking that action, which is, I'm not going to do anything about this.
• 5:57
  Pete, man, you're hitting a lot of hotspots. So I had four points from your thoughts. One is, I love this quote. So APIs is how I know you don't believe I know anything about software. I don't really. But APIs are what connect to software systems, right? So think of it like a highway of information.
• 6:13
  So I love an acronym for API. For me is action provides information. So through action, we are provided information. We use this a lot with a nonprofit. It's like, let's take the action. And we might fail, might succeed, but we're going to get information no matter what. We're going to continue to get valuable information.
• 6:29
  I think the two things we were talking about, one distinction that I believe is important is there's acceptance of others and how they are, kind of the let them that's popular now. And there's acceptance related to ourselves. I think they're very important as separate areas in my mind, or at least where I struggle with is acceptance.
• 6:47
  Accepting that my parents or a good friend might disagree with me or I might frustrate someone by telling them the truth. That was an acceptance I had. I really struggled and still can with just being the truth giver that they may not like or attaching my own self-love or appreciation or however I think about myself to how they view me or what they say.
• 7:08
  That's one. A separate one is like the fear I have about doing what is the truth. The fear I have about finding more stuff about myself or being in alignment or knowing thyself and operating accordingly. And, you know, both are so hard. So hard. But they're kind of different worlds, right? There is also a potential danger with this phrase of accepting who they are.
• 7:32
  Because that, by thinking like that, you may fall into a place where you don't say anything in return. So let's say Peter, right? We start the podcast and Peter is a non-techie person. So he struggles with this. He struggles with that. He doesn't... He's a computer. Yeah.
• 7:52
  Yeah, he doesn't know what is a computer, basically. And he arrives late to the meetings, kind of like I'm prepared, just winging it. And I can say, well...
• 8:04
  I have to accept how Peter is. I have to accept. I have to accept. And try to brainwash myself while at the same time, and I am definitely not speaking to anyone that is watching this. This does not relate to anyone that is watching this. I am accepting you at the same time. Resentment is growing inside of me. So that's one. Another thing is to say is to have a difficult conversation with you.
• 8:27
  And to say, hey, you know what? This is crossing the line. If we are going to do this, I want that you respect these things. Because for me, these things are a must. Like, I really value my time, my energy. And I don't think that it's a good idea that I show up here and you show up here to this conversation.
• 8:44
  And for me, if you do X, Y, Z, that means that you're shopping up here. That's how I feel. And I also think that you're doing a disservice to you because you have a limiting belief that you are all hippie, fluffy, foofy, and all of a sudden you can arrive, whatever, and then you don't prepare. And I think that that's bull****.
• 9:00
  But again, I keep saying, I think, I don't know. That's my feeling, that's my perception. Here's the thing. I know that I can say those things to you because you have a growth mindset, you are a truth seeker and you want to learn and you want to grow and you want to develop. You welcome this. Now, I guess that then the challenge when we are talking about parents or other people, that can be a little bit more complicated because somehow we carry...
• 9:28
  decades and decades and decades and decades of stuff. It's like a very dirty house in many cases with many relationships. So we struggle because now all of a sudden we learn this new technique and now we try to clean the whole house in five minutes that has not been cleaned for 20 years. And by the way, I don't have a solution for that.
• 9:45
  I love the topic. So one, I agree with your thoughts. What I'm saying is if you you getting over the fear to say, hey, Peter, this isn't working, I feel I'm disrespecting myself because I show up here and you're here. This is what's going on. Let's just say there's a scenario I say, I feel really good about where I am. I don't want to be up here. Right? Then there's an interesting point of right, that's where I think the acceptance to say, okay, that is Peter, right? And maybe I'm in a fear or emotional or something, right? It's like, okay, let's just talk about this later.
• 10:13
  Post there. Let's just say that I have the conversation with you. I share with you how I feel and so on. And then you say that to me. What I would do, I would be like, okay, tell me more. Because that is a nice headline. I don't give a **** about headlines. I want to understand the depth of how do you arrive to that conclusion. Because I hear some bull****, but I may be wrong. So I want to hear more. How do you get there? And maybe let's say that you give an incredible explanation. And I'm like, I understand now.
• 10:42
  Okay, I understand your point. Let me check with myself how I feel about this. Because this might be a good match to do it this way. This might not be a good match. We can find another option, right? We can maybe hire you a person that wash you, puts your clothes, grabs you and holds you and puts you. Exactly. And it just puts you there in the right time. This is something that I love that you share, which is incredible, which is you always need to have three options.
• 11:07
  And many times when I cannot find an idea, it's because I have one. All of us. All of us. It's crazy. All of us. And then when I start thinking about three, and of course, very easy for me to see it with other people, because I'm like, oh, that's the one option. Okay, tell me two more. Well, I don't know. I was like, holy . No, I like this one. I like it a lot. When I hear that, I'm like, I do the same . For sure, I don't see it yet, but for sure I do the same . It's so funny you're saying, I took my kids to school today and I go,
• 11:34
  we passed a school where most of my kids' cousins go to school. And it's a church that we go to. And he goes, wow, there are a lot of cars at church. And I go, is it just a church? And he goes, oh, it's a school too. I go, who goes to that school? He goes, I go, do all your cousins go in there? And he goes, not all my cousins, but a lot of them. And I was like, oh, amateurs thinking in absolutes. Like he caught me, right, saying an absolute, or not even saying, but using a question with an absolute. Thinking about an absolute, which is my cousins, all my cousins, basically.
• 12:04
  And then we went through how of the 11 cousins or 10, eight of them go there. The points tying it together, a couple of thoughts. You said, I don't know how to solve this, taking out the trash. Literally what we were talking about yesterday. Sorry, what do you say about the trash? Taking out the trash. So what is taking out the trash? You talked about building up trash with problems or hard discussions. Oh, the dirty house. Yes. The dirty house. I call it taking out the trash. It becomes a dirty house because there's all these issues that are building.
• 12:28
  Right. If you have one hard conversation on the front end, you actually avoid 10 down the road. You save your own time and their time. But it's getting over the fear to have that. Now, let's come back to the fear. You mentioned kind of having three options. There's a rule I love in business and the house, especially with spouses.
• 12:45
  Oftentimes you have one spouse that wants to try the new things, one spouse that's like, nah, it's good how it is. And it's beautiful. They balance each other, yin and yang. I think the rule that I love is to say until we have a viable, we choose three options and find one that works for us. We can't say that we just love, we accept ourselves and we love making food or doing our laundry or washing our floor every week or washing our car.
• 13:08
  Like we might be lying to ourselves. And there's a Richard Feynman, the Nobel Prize winner that says, be careful because you're always lying to yourself, basically. We don't even realize it. So, you know, and he's an astrophysicist, right? Like he's won at least one Nobel Prize. Using that as the rule to say Peter's always lying to himself. So until I get the option that I'm like, oh, that works, I can always get rid of that option.
• 13:31
  I can always remove the cleaner or the assistant or the person, project manager, to do the project management for the projects at work. But if I don't have it, I actually don't know that feeling of having it. We're typically often, all of us, lying to ourselves to say, I don't really need it. I don't want to spend the money. I don't think I could find someone that would be good enough. Those are all lies, right?
• 13:53
  And the only way to come to truth is to get one, have something that works and say, oh, wow, this is interesting, right? Oh, this feels nice. Like this feels like a comfy pair of sweatpants or, you know, a robe I'm putting on. Like I feel good now. Until you get to that, it ties in with the final point you mentioned, middle ground. I had this discussion yesterday. We had two different views.
• 14:14
  I was here, and in this case, my wife was here. And we hired this amazing nanny that we're kind of promoting to say, hey, help run our whole lives. She was like, well, let's find the middle ground. That was like a trigger word for me. It wasn't emotional, but I was like, I don't want to find the middle ground. Let's find the truth. Compromise. The push is compromise, where I would say, no, no, no, no. If I'm wrong and living in ignorance and a lie, I want to be educated. I want to throw that in the trash and take it out of our house immediately. Right.
• 14:44
  And if the other person's right, heck yeah, thank you for pulling, shining the light on my ignorance, right, and unleashing me. But trying to go from, okay, there's me here and the other person here, trying to just arbitrarily go here. That's what we as humans do, I think, because we're hardwired to want to get along and not have war, not get kicked out of the Klan and be left behind.
• 15:03
  to fend for ourselves in the woods or against the dinosaurs. That's bad operating system versus saying what is often the case, just start like, again, one thing that's so hard, but a tool is just to assume I'm wrong. Like, let's just assume I'm wrong and flip to them. Let's assume they are right. Go with it full scale, commit to it and evaluate, say, okay, let's, let's assume you're right. And let's walk through it all. But ultimately there's no compromise. There's only agreement that we're going to focus on finding the truth, which may be one option, me two options,
• 15:33
  middle, but way outside of theirs or mine that we hadn't thought of. I love that. And maybe another way of doing this is what are you discussing about? What are you arguing about? You are arguing about strategies. So when you start finding that conflict, just like, hey, let's pause. Let's zoom out and let's just talk about these things that are not going to change. So let's just say that you want to bring a housekeeper and your wife doesn't want to.
• 15:59
  Or the other way around, your wife wants a housekeeper and you don't want to for whatever reason.
• 16:04
  And that's the fight. Doesn't matter why one person thinks yes, another person thinks no, totally irrelevant. But here's the thing. When, if you say, okay, let's just pause for a second. Let's just zoom out. Do we want, as a couple, to have more free time to do our own things that we really love, including to spend time together, to spend time with our kids, or we prefer to do s*** that we don't want to be doing?
• 16:29
  Which one it is? Let's just try to make it black and white. We want to do things we love, things together. Everyone will jump to that conclusion. And then people will tend, because the tendency is just so big, to go and be like, well, yeah, but I like to clean. It's like, no, no, we're not talking about cleaning. We are not talking about cleaning. We are not talking about anything. This is just a big picture, okay? Do we want to spend time doing the things that we really like doing, we love doing, gives us energy? Or we want to spend time...
• 16:57
  that we don't want to be doing. Whatever that is. And most likely, people are going to be, unless there is a mental problem, they're going to be like, yeah, we definitely want to. But how are we going to pay? No, no, no, no, no. Shh. Calm down. Just move aside that monkey brain right there. Let's just focus on the dream, the big picture. Let's just tell me the dream, right? Oh.
• 17:17
  The dream, yeah, the dream is that we spend time doing things that we really love to do. But I am concerned about the money. Shut up. Monkey brain. No. Silence. We are creating our dream life here. And it's like, okay, got it. We have an agreement. We want to do that we really love and we don't want to do that we don't like. Fantastic. Okay, great. Now let's talk. So I want to hire a housekeeper. You don't want to hire a housekeeper. Perfect. Perfect.
• 17:42
  Let me ask you, do you love cleaning the floors and taking care of the house and so on and so on? And here is what usually happens. Well, I'm going to give you three options of what happens. Option A is like, oh my gosh, yeah, I love it. I love it. Oh, wow. Honey, wow. Amazing. Tell me why. Oh, it's just I can disconnect from all the other things. I put my music and I just clean and it's just I end up with way less stress than when I started. Way more energy than when I started. Oh my gosh, babe. That's amazing. Okay, keep doing that. Fantastic.
• 18:12
  Now, what could happen? It's like, well, I don't mind. I don't mind cleaning, which basically means, yeah, you do. Yeah, you mind. Yeah, you don't want to do it. And by the way, nobody asked you if you mind or you don't mind. I asked you, do you love it? It's a yes or no question. Let's do black and white to make it simple. Going with this exercise, I find it fascinating how the monkey brain just takes over. And then, but how are we going to do it? It doesn't matter. I know we are broke. We don't have money. It doesn't matter. Let's just focus on it.
• 18:40
  what's the dream life that we want? And whatever that is, right? Right now, we are talking about housekeeping, but it can be anything in your life. I love that, man. And I was just thinking, I don't know if I've said this before or even thought of it before, but it's really, you said, let's not focus on the money or the how or the product. It's really, you start with the people. So who would do it? Me, you, someone else, right? Let's come up with at least three options. Well, no, first you start with the dream. What is the dream?
• 19:07
  So this is way higher level. And all of that, yeah. Which is, I mean, you can flip it also and say like, let's just dig deeper to find the fundamental truth, the universal truth. What is the universal truth? We want to spend amazing time together and amazing time doing things that we love doing and give us energy. That's it. That will never change. Let's find the things that will never change. Once we find the things that will never change, then we can get into who or how, the strategy and so on and so on and so on.
• 19:37
  These are really strong. I think you're right. Start with the dream. Not use limiting beliefs. Then think about other people than just me doing it or you doing it, right? Coming up with a third option. And committing to, hey, it's a lot of money. Let's not commit to it for more than one month. 30 days. That's it. We need to find someone or something, test it for 30 days. And we plan on canceling it. Nobody has to agree to it.
• 19:57
  And one more thing, here is where we may face traumas. So let's say, okay, we agree. Imagine, we really hate cleaning the house. Okay, we agree. Housekeeper makes sense because it really drains us and takes us away from things that really gives us energy. And we really love doing it.
• 20:12
  Okay, we agree on that fundamental truth. Fantastic. And we don't really foresee that in five years, we're going to become, we're going to love housekeeping, right? So like, okay, got it. And then that's what, again, monkey brain. Monkey brain might be like, oh, but do you remember we hired this person and this person stole from us? Do you remember that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? Or, oh my gosh, it's so much money. So this is where traumas, monkey brain brings the trauma. So understand that it's your monkey brain just talking out of fear, most likely.
• 20:41
  And it's like, okay, okay. Chill, chill, chill. And many people, many people just stay there. Like I remember there was one friend that we were talking. It's like, no, I don't want to have an assistant because my wife takes care of everything and I don't want to manage anyone. Oh, interesting. Interesting.
• 21:00
  I did not ask him this, but I know him enough that this is how the conversation goes. Oh, why don't want to manage anyone? Oh my gosh, it's so draining to manage people. Okay. Why do you need to manage an assistant? Oh, well, because that's how...
• 21:16
  It's like, yeah, why do you need to manage? I'm trying, I'm asking the question to try to find the fundamental truth. And the fundamental truth that I found is you don't need to manage your assistant. Why do you need to manage your assistant? Who are you hiring? And you need to manage them. She should be able to manage all the that you don't want to do. Not you in charge of her. If you are in charge of her and she's in charge of the that you don't want to do, then you are in charge of that you don't want to do.
• 21:38
  You manage the assistant. It's not what it should be. Or the assistant manages you. It can be the housekeeper. It can be anyone that you're working with. Yes. Your lines that I thought about, you hire someone that ideally takes out the trash, right? A cleaner. So that you as a couple can take out your psychological trash, right? And you think about that, right? If someone's not taking out the physical trash, right? Keeping the lights on, right? There's only so many hours in the day.
• 22:07
  then you don't have time to invest in the most important thing, which is taking out the trash in the relationship. That's business partners. That's a marriage. That's girlfriend, boyfriend. That's any relationship. Because it takes mental energy, especially get over our fear and our, as you said, monkey brain to say, God, I don't want to talk about this. They might get really pissed. They're probably going to get really pissed. Like they might not react to all this.
• 22:26
  But now you have a choice. You're either degrading yourself and elevating this false person that they may not even get pissed. We're creating that. Or we elevate ourselves in a respectful way and we say, hey, I'm actually thinking that they're down here and they may not be. They may rise to the occasion and say, you know what, you're right, I've been thinking about this, we should change or we should do something else.
• 22:46
  How do you overcome the fear to have a difficult conversation with someone that you love? I look at it as oftentimes we're paying for it twice. So think about this. When you said the cleaners, that one stole from us. They already stole from us once. If they keep us from ever getting another cleaner, they stole from us twice. Every day. Every single day, they're still ripping out my pocket. A lot of these things, right? People say, oh.
• 23:10
  oh, it's too expensive to pay for this or hire an assistant or hire a cleaner or something, right? It's like with this fear, you're paying for it twice. You have all this worry that's stressing us out and rising our cortisol and damaging our body, right? That's the first time you're paying for it. And then you're still gonna pay for it eventually, right? When you come to this truth or realization, right? Or you're paying for it every day by not having it, by not trying it. So the key thing is to always think you're paying for it twice. So now let's answer your question directly. How do I have a hard conversation with someone I care about? Let's say it's you, right? Right?
• 23:39
  Let's say you, there's something I don't feel great about, right? Something's going on, right? I'm either paying, it's a very expensive decision to pay for it more than once. Paying for it once is, hey, Pablo, let's talk about this. I had this. It made me feel that. I don't know what your intention was. I'm just communicating this.
• 23:57
  You go two different routes. One is like, oh man, that was not my intention. Here it is. The other one is like, hey, that's how I felt. You got some feelings, deal with it. Either way, we paid for it once. Let's do the alternative. I don't, I can't talk about that. No, he might get mad. He's going to get mad. He can't handle this conversation. Like he's going to get mad. He's not, he's not advanced enough, right? I'm blaming, right? I'm being the victim. I can't do it because he's not advanced enough. She's not in a good place.
• 24:24
  Or it can be also that I don't want to damage the relationship. So there is a fear. There is an ego thinking that you know what the outcome is going to be, which is insane. And I'm robbing you of knowledge and potentially pulling you out of ignorance, right? That's one scenario, if I'm right. If I'm wrong, I'm robbing myself, expensive decision, of pulling myself out of ignorance. So I look at it as, and the piece is, right, you want to be a nice guy or a good man.
• 24:53
  A nice guy just says, ah, don't worry about it, Pablo. A good man says, hey, I'd love to just sit down and talk about this. And I'm going to hold up a mirror of truth. And I'm the one talking. But the mirror of truth is here, right? Now, maybe I'm in an emotional place and it's not actually truth. And I'm giving a bunch of BS that's not accurate.
• 25:09
  But maybe I am in a good mental place and I'm saying truth. And a lot of times I always laugh when people see the mirror of truth, right? Here's the really hard mirror of truth, right? They oftentimes don't punch the mirror because they're angry at the truth. They punch the messenger. It's like, so when they're mad at me, when they're like, Peter, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 25:30
  Right? They're looking at the mirror and seeing themselves and what's happening, and they don't want to. It's like, nope, get the mirror out. Boom. Like, how do I get this truth to stop? Just punch Peter in the face. And I think for us as a person to accept that sometimes we're going to get punched in the face, right? Mike Tyson says everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. It's like...
• 25:49
  We don't really have the plan, right? As the Gita says, the Bible, all these religious texts, right? We'll kind of say like, look, you focus on truth being a good man, right? You hold up this mirror of truth and you will get punched in the face. But being able to still love yourself, keep marching on, knowing it actually has nothing to do with you. It's their own battle with this truth. And look, I do the same thing. When people show me the mirror of truth, it's like, gosh, it'd just be so easier if I could just write in their mouth, give them a jab, no more talking, right?
• 26:16
  Whether that's psychologically, verbally, whatever. And I just think getting over that fear is what allows us to unleash. We leave the cocoon of darkness and become this butterfly, right? That relationship becomes a butterfly. We become a butterfly. The other person for their full brilliance and beauty of whatever they're put here to do.
• 26:34
  I love it. And what strategy do you use to go from inaction being like, okay, I'm just not going to do anything to, okay, I'm going to have the conversation. Do you use like a mental mantra or something to get it done?
• 26:50
  You help me with this a lot. You're in the back of my head on this one, which is when something feels off, like we don't feel good, right? A lot of times that's our brain telling us this is the psychology, right? It's saying it's dangerous. The problem is our brain mixes together uncomfortable and dangerous as the same mental firing of red alert under attack.
• 27:10
  So how do I define, you know, dangerous versus uncomfortable? That's where I have to then step back and split that category. When something's uncomfortable, I usually need to do it. That's the rule. The investment, the conversation, right? We've talked about this at some point, but dirty dopamine, right? So think gambling, social media, traditional news, gossiping. Those, you feel great. Porn, you feel great before you do it. After you do it, you do it. You crash, right? You've got this depletion of dopamine.
• 27:40
  dirty dopamine, something that makes me feel uncomfortable going to the gym to work out, having that hard conversation, quitting my job, sharing my truth. It is so uncomfortable. It's like, I do not want to do like, you know, we're like hanging on like, dude, I want to do this. I'm trying to hang on to the bars into the door.
• 27:57
  As the ego, the self, the lower S self, the, you know, this lower, this monkey brain, you know, there's a million names for it, right? This caveman that doesn't want to leave the cave because there's dinosaurs out there that are going to eat me. When he shows up, when Peter the caveman, the Neanderthal is here, right? I feel uncomfortable. Now, I have to clarify, it's not dangerous. It's not, hey, I'm, you know, doing something that's going to truly endanger my life.
• 28:23
  Let me challenge that because you talk about the caveman and the reptilian brain, basically. And I think that I would say that I disagree a little bit with that because I think that that comes even though, of course, we have that in real situations. But I think that if you and I, we were raised totally different, we would not be having those kind of behaviors where... Sorry, let's forget about us.
• 28:50
  Let's just talk about a person that never takes action. Let's just go extreme, totally frozen, totally pleasing people, never trying to rock the boat or to say anything that they think or blah, blah, blah. I think that that has nothing to do with the caveman or cavewoman. I think that is connected with how they are raised and that's the way that they found
• 29:12
  to, let's call it to be safe. And I put air quotes because it has nothing to do. It's maybe a strategy that they found growing up. And by the way, growing up, we all find different strategies to survive to a perceived danger that we experience because growing up, if we are not part of the tribe, we for sure die. So therefore, I think that that's more a product of the environment and
• 29:37
  rather than it's something that we created and we solidified while growing up, rather than that is the caveman. That's it. Because the caveman, you cannot really fight the caveman. It's there. It's part of you. And that's it. So the caveman we're talking about, this is, and again, our doctors, friends, non-friends. So forgive me for this, but this is much more physiology. Our caveman needs to pee, needs to poop.
• 30:03
  that that's it it's built in this body let's look at that your physiology you're stressed what does it do when you take the large breath small breath and then release with a big what happens to your physiology relaxes yeah so i agree with every statement you said what i think is there are lines of truth right that just unhack that bring us to truth at least for me right so everything i answered was my own self-journey i have realized so another example is if you look at the norton virus right there's a professor norton from harvard that said
• 30:33
  Every millionaire, if they wanted to be a 10 out of 10 happiness, do you know what they wanted? From one, it was double, double to triple. So whether they had one, 10, 100, a billion, million, two billion dollars, they all just said at two to three times more, I would be a 10 out of 10. So that is a virus in our brain. The only way to combat that is to fix a number. Well, but one more time, is that a virus that we acquire or that's a virus that came directly with the hardware?
• 30:57
  My own belief is it came with the hardware. Interesting. Why? Because we were out there collecting food and it's like, you don't know if you're going to go a couple of weeks without food. So when you see food, you got to get it all right. Do we have exceptions of hardware that people don't need to pee and poop? Do we have exceptions of people that don't need to sleep? No, not that I'm aware of.
• 31:17
  Okay, me neither. I'm not going to ask you about eating because then we have to, maybe we go to the place that people eat from the sun and all that stuff. Let's not go in that direction. They don't eat! We can survive.
• 31:33
  Let's just not go there. But all I'm saying, that's hard work. Need to pee, poop, sleep. And somehow they need to eat something, whatever that is. If you don't do these things, hard work collapses, dies. I think the hardware of the thoughts come through our amygdala first. Our amygdala is the screener for, are you going to get killed or can you proceed? Right? If it goes in the, you're going to get killed. That's what comes to the dangerous and dangerous.
• 32:00
  discomfort. Now I have to separate though. And the only way I've found is to first say, am I going to die from this? If no, if I feel uncomfortable, then it's not actually dangerous. It's just, there's discomfort I'm feeling. When I feel discomfort, I usually need to do it. And it's a flip. It's the opposite, right? When you think of acceptance and some of this
• 32:21
  the initial concept of the call is like, that is a hardwire reset that I think, whether we say hardware, software, firmware in between the two, that's a trick I've realized that it reminds me, oh, the brain's just saying that it's dangerous, right? It feels dangerous, but it's just discomfort. And usually the discomfort starts as a low dopamine, but it's just a low dopamine.
• 32:43
  But after I do it, boom, rocket ship, I'm in a high dopamine state. I flipped versus what does everybody want to do? A good buddy of mine said, man, males are so boring now. All they do is switch between Pornhub and DraftKings, right? Betting and porn. And it's, why is that? Because it feels like you're powerful and you're getting a reward. Well, guess what? You don't really get a reward. So then after you do it, you crash. Versus what's, you go in for a workout? I don't want to go to a workout. Right?
• 33:10
  I don't want to go in a colder shower. I don't want to have a hard conversation with my boss or my wife. Well, that is discomfort. And if I tell my brain, and the original question was like, how do you get around this? How do you get to the hard conversation? The only way for me to get to that hard conversation is like, oh, I feel discomfort. It's not dangerous, right? That's a key filter. Okay. It's not that I'm doing a skydiving and I've never trained for it. Okay. Okay.
• 33:33
  That's dangerous. It's just discomfort because my brain is telling me this, making me feel dangerous. Clarified, not dangerous. Now I need to do it. And I've noticed when I do it, I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel awesome. Like awesome. And if I start connecting that outcome or, you know, outcomes are hard one, but the dopamine level, that even if it goes poorly, I feel better later. And I can start building the muscle like a bicep curl of like,
• 34:01
  You know, you do it 30 times, it builds a habit. And now the habit, right, you come back to when we're born, we look like our parents. When we die, we look like our habits. So the game is just finding what is the secret key that you plug into the keyhole. And when you twist it, it unlocks a truth that you can get a repeated response to build the habit. And once the habit's built, you know, that's when we really can take off or, you know, I've noticed I can take off. And yeah, then I have a bad week or month or year to rebuild the habit.
• 34:28
  But if I can find this trick statement, right, the statement that allows my brain to recognize, that's what I'm always looking for. And that's what I enjoy talking with you because I think we find them.
• 34:36
  That was the question. It's like, what's your trick? What's the trick that you're using in order to get around that mental feeling block of not doing what inside of you, you know, you feel that you need to do? And that can be quitting your job. That is not only just having a hard conversation with your spouse or with a friend or with a family member.
• 34:58
  But that is a hard conversation. It's a hard conversation with your boss. It can be also moving by yourself alone to another country. It's a conversation with yourself. Well, at the end of the day, it's always, unless you have zero friends, which is kind of odd, always you will have a conversation with someone.
• 35:12
  where you need to explain, where you need to, but it's about getting around. How do I get around that thing? I can feel that something is off. I can feel that something is not aligned. How? What is the mental trick? And that's the one that you shared. What do you think? Do you have a trick for it?
• 35:29
  Yes, I think that it depends on the situation. But so the discomfort, this is something that I shared. That is something that... So let me just go back. For example, we went to Surf Ranch in California with a bunch of friends. And this is like a place. You can Google it. You can use the promo code Peter and Pablo to get nothing off. Yeah.
• 35:52
  And it's a great place, great instructors, such an incredible experience. So this is like a man-made waves, different sizes, where you get to basically learn, go from, I have no clue how to surf, to at least I can stand up and I can go on my own, which is pretty cool. And when our friends are like, hey, I want to do this, inside of me, it's like.
• 36:13
  I definitely am. I'm definitely going because I want to spend time with my friends. But oh my gosh, I'm getting palpitations here because I almost died in the ocean when I was something like 14 years old. So therefore, I don't like going to the ocean. Like, I'm like, ah, no, thank you. You know what? I'm pretty cool here in the sand. Let's go to work. No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Pablo, I always tell people I'm a good drowner. I'm a really good drowner. That's always been my line about water. And I'm just laughing about us flipping it.
• 36:40
  So I'm like, I am going. I'm going to face this fear that I have. I don't know how this works. So I ask questions about what happened with this thing and with that thing and this. When the first wave, just the massive first wave comes and they're like, pedal, pedal, pedal. I'm like...
• 36:58
  Like gasping totally out of breath. Like if I'm running a marathon, three marathons. It is a big man-made artificial wave that's coming. That's called the perfect wave. That's, I don't know, eight feet tall. Thanks, Hugh. 10, 12 feet tall. It's a big boy coming at you fast.
• 37:15
  And at the beginning, it was scary. But what did I do? I'm like, hey, listen, I almost died when I was 14. So I'm pretty scared about this. So can you watch me, please, that I don't die? Can you? Thank you to the instructor. That's it. Did you have that conversation? Yeah. Was there discomfort in having it?
• 37:32
  First of all, it's not a conversation. I'm giving him an order. It's like I do with my kids. You were the kid. This is an order. Don't let me die. Don't let my kids die. Yes. It was difficult to have the conversation. No, I think that what was difficult was from the moment that it's like, okay, Pablo, now it's your turn and you go with these other three guys. And I'm like, with a bow.
• 37:58
  put in the wetsuit, like the whole thing. I'm like, I put the wetsuit the other way around. I'm like all nervous. And yeah, that part, that is difficult. Just breathe in and just relax. And it's going to be fine. In two seconds, you're going to be out. And the first time that I got smashed, I am literally like smashed. And I'm like, okay, I have no more air. This is it. My only one chance to get out. Hopefully there is air as soon as I stand up. And what happened? And I didn't die. I'm here.
• 38:27
  Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Even if I had to wait five more seconds, most likely I would have been totally fine. So, okay, here's my trick. My trick is, do I want, so I get this opportunity that becomes a paradox, which is, I am afraid. Do I go? I don't go. Do I stay outside of the pool? Do I stay inside of the pool? So then I just go to the future and I say, okay, do I want to be afraid of this for the rest of my life? Yes or no?
• 38:55
  And I'm like, if I am hesitant because I'm still bull****ing myself, right? The monkey brain is like kind of like 60% in control. And the other part of me that really wants to grow and be honest with myself, my true self, is like, come on, come on. And everybody's like, I don't know, you know, it's like, okay, let's just find. I could maybe hang on to this fear. Like, just keep it in the back. Everyone, when someone says, when you say it's fine, that's not fine.
• 39:20
  That's when I'm like, okay, cool. So do I want, I go more challenging, right? I go more psychopath here. It's like, okay, do I want my kids to see me afraid to the water? Do I want to be that kind of example to my kids? And to me, it's very like, no. Okay, then let's go. Okay, what strategies can I use to try to calm? Okay, I'm just going to tell the guy to not to let me die. Okay, cool. I'm going to tell the guy.
• 39:45
  Think how powerful that is. You just explained that you flip to the end to set you free. Like it's literally a freedom flip. You flip to say, do I want to hold on to this fear of swimming? You flip to kids that don't exist yet. For next generation, do I want them to carry on this fear of water? Yeah, do I want their kids? My grandkids are great grandkids to be all f***ing.
• 40:05
  about the water because I did not wave. Like, what are we doing here? It brought you back to the present, set you free. That's when I would say as a trick, my true self, because I, like we have, there's a song that says like, we have Mahatma Gandhi and Hitler inside of us. Yeah. We have the yin and yang. We have the good and the bad. We have the opposites inside of us. The line that I've heard of that is, the line between good and evil runs right through every man's heart.
• 40:34
  Yes. So the question is, okay, who is in control right now? And in this case, is the monkey brain in control or is my true self? And do I really want the monkey brain? And this is why if we're like, ah, it's fine. It's fine. Okay. Well, let's just make it more challenging. Let's just go generations. Let's just find something that it would be painful for my true self to be like, ah, it's okay.
• 40:59
  It's fine. And Pablo, think about what you did there to flip it is the pain that feels dangerous or discomfort is high and not doing it feels really safe, right? It's comfortable. You're forcing yourself to increase this pain of future generations so that that discomfort of the safe decision rises from safe and comfortable to just a little. If you can just get it just a little.
• 41:22
  The scales tipped a little more, right, to say, oh, my gosh, four generation out, little Pablo number four, it won't step in the ocean because of me. That pain pushes down this one day of discomfort lower. And then you go. That's a beautiful hack. Yeah.
• 41:40
  Let me give you another one that is a current struggle. So roller coasters. I know that in America, you guys are all fancy and go to Disney when you are three years old, right? Well, that's not what happens in Argentina. We had one amusement park that basically... You just get a broken down car on a hill and you go. No, no. We literally had an amusement park. I can't remember the name right now. That...
• 42:04
  went bankrupt because some people died because something happened. So that's what you do in an amusement park in Argentina. And then eventually another one came. If you guys are trying to think about Disney compared to that, it's like, no, no, this is literally Tudor roller coasters and other games. That's it. That's the amusement park.
• 42:25
  So I did my first roller coaster maybe in Argentina, maybe age of 17, 18, something like that. And it was scary, but I was with my girlfriend at the time. And I'm like, okay, let's go. And the roller coaster is... I'm really strong. I'll do this. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Come on. Come on, babe. Come on. I'm not scared. I gotta go to the bathroom real quick. It was cool. It was cool. But I'm like, this is not something that I really want to go again.
• 42:56
  My wife, again, not the same girl, right? My wife, she loves amusement parks. She loves roller coasters. That's why she married you, because you're a roller coaster. Living with you is a roller coaster. For sure. So we went, where was this? I think we went, oh, in Dubai. So in Dubai, there's a lot of amusement parks. So we go there. I did one. Man, that was a painful, and I think it was a kid's roller coaster, okay? I'm not joking. I'm not joking. Okay.
• 43:25
  I think that literally was a kid. And I ended up kind of dizzy after. I'm like, no, baby, you go. And I just walk around. So she did a lot of them. And then she's like, I can't wait to bring our kids to all these things. And I'm like, oh, I need to get over it. Because I want to be in the roller coasters with my kids. A hundred percent. Like there is no, this is where I can tell you in an absolute. A hundred percent. I want to be in those roller coasters with my kids.
• 43:55
  And the pain visualizing that. Now, I am not even going to think how I am going to solve the problem. Because the only option that I'm thinking is like, get over. It's like, no, no, no. Maybe I need to find a middle ground. Maybe I need to do something. So we can think about that. But let's just coming back to what we spoke at the beginning. Let's just zoom out. Do I want to live a life that I miss the opportunity to be with my kids in roller coasters? Or we don't go to amusement parks because that is a ****?
• 44:22
  Like, no. Do you accept yourself? Oh, accept. Let's accept that. Like, that's how I am. It's like, no, that's not how I really am. That's my monkey brain. Yeah.
• 44:33
  that is afraid and is in control, 80% of the time in this situation, 90 maybe percent. Okay, I don't want that. I don't accept that. So I'm going to work on myself. How? Doesn't matter right now. Because as soon as I start going to the how, the monkey brain starts taking over. No, no, no. Chill. I want to cement what I really want. The big picture outcome that I really want to experience in this lifetime, in this specific situation.
• 45:02
  I mean, it's so cool, man. I'm thinking about you're flipping the pain. Short-term pain versus long-term gain, yes.
• 45:10
  But the start is not long-term pain. The start is I get some short-term pain here or I don't do it and I accept myself and I'm good, no pain. These are two options. It's only when you add the third option, which is, oh, well, in 100 years, I'm dead and there's still this family tradition of not doing that. Or in 20 years with my kids that don't even exist yet, or 10 years, right, I'm doing a rollercoaster with them and I can't even go on the kids' rollercoaster. You've flipped everything.
• 45:39
  the comfort into an extreme discomfort that's higher than that mild one day of discomfort. That's all it is, right? You just did a quick flip to increase the pain, right? So this one's step one is a little bit of pain trying today, no pain if I don't do it. Step two is add the third one that pulls this pain up. Like that's an effective flip. And by the way, this is, you know, you shared your trick, I'm sharing my trick. You guys that are listening, you have to find your trick.
• 46:06
  Yeah, put in the comments. 100%. Tell us in the comments. What is your trick? And tell us if you want to see Pablo go on a kid's roller coaster live camera.
• 46:18
  I will. I will go. Yes. It's going to happen. That's a good one, man. School teaches the way to operate, right? There's one way, one truth, one textbook. And what is all of business and life and everything we've talked about this acceptance? Come up with three options. Start with what they think, what you think, and find a third, which is the actual truth. Or you want to solve something, you come up one, two, three. When does school ever say, come up with three?
• 46:44
  Right now, it's you put the right answer and it's right or wrong. You failed or you passed. Right. And I don't want to say in absolutes. I'm sure there's some schools and some programs or some teachers that embrace this. Right. And this is why I love there's learn. School wants you to learn L-E-A-R-N. And I've said this to you. And there's dyslexic. Let's say I'm my mom works with dyslexic students. My brother's dyslexic. I think I'm dyslexic.
• 47:07
  You know, it's all this dyslexics. It's learn L-U-R-N. You need to learn how everyone thinks it's right. Like here, Peter, here's how to learn or here's how someone can try and learn. Right. You have to unlearn that when you're like, this doesn't work. Like this way to do this in the company or this way that I'm communicating with my girlfriend or wife, like something is not working. Right. So you have to unlearn that and be like, maybe this isn't the right way.
• 47:31
  And then you relearn with new information, L-U-R-N, right? There's the real way to learn, dyslexic learn, L-U-R-N. Learn, unlearn, and then relearn with new information. And that's the way to succeed in life. That's an internal truth to life. How quickly can you learn, unlearn, and then relearn with new information? And that is the opposite of what we learn in most school programs. I agree totally. This week, Pablo told me I was looking fat.
• 47:57
  And he didn't just say you're fat. He flipped it. And he said, here's how you won't be fat. It's just such a killer tip, though. There's a theory or a proven fact they call the Hawthorne effect, which is basically if we know we're being observed or it's being tracked, then we change outcomes. We change actions. And Pablo said, hey, the iPhone, you can download this little app and then you can put on your home screen, send me a screenshot of how many steps you've taken and how many floors you've climbed.
• 48:24
  And iPhone, for those who have it, and in the future, iPhones won't even exist. So it's this thing called a cell phone. They were not made for humans, really poorly designed, a lot of flaws with them. It'll show you how many steps you've taken, like a little pedometer. And now, just two days in, I can see how many steps in. I would have done 4,000 or 5,000 yesterday, and I ended at like 8,000 to 9,000.
• 48:46
  Because after dinner, I just jumped on the treadmill because I saw it. And I'm this big believer of we bought this house that was 100 years old. It was on the market for two years old. Two years, no one wanted to buy it because they're a bunch of stairs. I saw that. I was like, that's what I want. I need stairs. Because yesterday, guess how many flights of stairs I climbed yesterday according to the app in my house?
• 49:06
  Sorry, for me, non-American person, what is flight stairs? Oh, sorry. It's one level. I don't know why we call it a flight. So why do you repeat that you don't understand? I don't, it's a good question. I'm sure there's some smart answer. Okay, good. But let's say level, floors. How many floors do you think I climbed?
• 49:28
  You did 20. So I probably did about 20. It says I did 16, but I didn't have my phone with me on, you know, every step. So I'm sure there's three or four. It's deflated by a bit. That makes me feel, one, so good, right? Two, it's now I'm competitive. So I'm like, I bet I can do 20 on the app today.
• 49:46
  And it's on my home screen, but it also further supports this flip. Most people say, no, you know, once you get to a certain age or you don't want to park. We park literally in the basement of our house. And then you walk upstairs to get to the kitchen and the main living rooms. And then all the bedrooms are one more floor above. So I can't avoid, I basically can't avoid doing a 20-story building every day.
• 50:11
  Another flip that I am using, so this year I'm focusing a lot in health. That's my number one priority. And walking is a massive part of my routine. Walking a lot. A lot. I'm talking about doing maybe 15,000 steps a day. That's where I want to be. And in the past, when I leave something in another room, I'm like, oh, f***.
• 50:32
  I left something there. I need to go. And I'm like, yes. So I'm flipping it. Yes, I left something. Okay, let's go. Great opportunity to put some steps. Let's go. And also when I'm in the gym in between sets in the rest time, I just walk back and forth. I'm walking all the time as much as possible. Now here, I still need to do the setup to have a treadmill.
• 50:52
  I don't want to have a treadmill while we are podcasting because it's so annoying having to be like moving all the time. But I definitely want to have a treadmill. So when I am taking calls, which I don't really want to be taking stream calls, but when I am, because I prefer to have a phone call and then be outside. It's so weird. It's almost like the treadmill is in the air coming to your place. Treadmill is in the air coming to my place. Yeah.
• 51:17
  Weird. I can almost feel it. I don't know what you're talking about. There's a treadmill coming to you. There's a treadmill coming to me? Shut up. Yeah. You put that treadmill for me? Yeah.
• 51:27
  Oh my gosh. Thank you, brother. This is a good hack for everyone. That's why I announced early. But it shakes. It shakes too. And it's supposed to be good for our lymphatic system. It was refurbished or what? No. It's broken. It was a discount after Christmas. Pretty slick. It's the same one, my friend. I think I sent you the picture. When you said you want it, I just bought it. But it's going through whatever your process is to get your house. So that's like the Miami. It's going through.
• 51:53
  Yeah, you can walk on it. It's super silent, but it also does this lymphatic drain where you're supposed to like get shaken a little bit. So you don't have to do that, but it has two settings, walking or moving fast. That's awesome. Thank you, brother. Wow. You're welcome, man.
• 52:11
  Well, I was thinking about what you said. You flipped the thing people don't want to do, getting up to something exciting. My flip on this in the last couple months is I wake up at 3 a.m. That's supposed to be like a special hour to get ideas, whatever. I used to hate it. You told me get a Kindle Scribe. It's been amazing. It sits next to my bed. Such a hack. By the way, Kindle Scribe, great product. Promo code PabloAndPeter for 0% discount. Works amazing. Yes.
• 52:41
  The Kindle's next to my bed right now, but keeping paper next to me, I'm taking notes as you're talking. It's just such a game changer to always have paper or a Kindle scribe even better, to just always take the ideas. But instead of saying, man, I need to go back to bed, when I wake up at 3 a.m., and my wife laughs at me because she never gets ideas. She never wakes up like this. She just sleeps. And she's like, what do you mean you get ideas? I'm like, they just start coming. They're just coming. Okay.
• 53:06
  Instead, I go, yes, let's go. So when you stop resisting it. It comes and it's so fun. And I just let it all go. And then I go back to bed. Now, guess what? Now going back to bed when I'm laying there and I'm like, I can't sleep. I can't go to sleep. I'm telling myself, go to sleep. There's a study in England that's like the most successful sleep study program to help people get over their sleep issues. It's almost all our software. And my hack are only two things to get to sleep.
• 53:35
  One is I say, you're not allowed to sleep, Peter. Like, don't go to sleep. You got to stay up. Stay up tonight. Power through. Just stay up. And then it's like, and then I just relax because I like let go of this attempt to fall asleep. I flip it.
• 53:49
  And then I usually fall asleep. If that doesn't work, I did a workshop on what is the transcendental meditation. And they give you, like, I have my own special mantra. So I'll do my mantra. It's like two phrases. You're not supposed to share it with anyone. I do my mantra. And then I love the mantra because either I relax or I fall asleep. And usually it's both. I relax and fall asleep. And those two things are single-handedly. I used to have so much trouble sleeping. So much trouble sleeping. I still do. Like last night, I woke up to a six-month-old baby.
• 54:19
  couldn't fall back to sleep for an hour and a half from like 1.30 to 3 or 3.30. But then I just took notes, took notes. Then I meditated. Then I told myself I couldn't fall asleep. And then I did the mantra and fell asleep. I'm going to tie up a question. I want to understand when you open your 3 a.m., you wake up. I don't know. Maybe you go to the bathroom to pee. You come back and you're like, okay.
• 54:41
  You grab this Kindle Scribe, you open the notes, and then you start writing what? I keep it in. I have business ideas as a folder. And then I have, I don't know, probably 15 business ideas that have come up more than two or three times. And I just keep an ongoing list.
• 54:57
  And it's just me like throwing up in it. Then I have one that just says to do, which is typically like, ideally I take action on that tomorrow and they're just quick tasks. Then I have one questions that I asked a coach that we've used, right? And these are like more theory-based questions that I like to hear responses on. And then I have like a daily planner one, which literally you can set it up. It just shows you the hours from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. And I'll map out that whole day, which is really cool just to see that whole day set up as well.
• 55:27
  When you wake up at 3 a.m., why are you waking up? So in my case, I wake up because I need to go to the bathroom. That's where I work most of the time. In your case, what is it? Let me clarify on that. Do you drink a lot before you go to bed? I get like four shots of tequila before going to bed. Unless you're doing six shots, it's not a problem. I read that on Reddit. Yeah. I read it.
• 55:49
  I am here. We have incredible AC, but we do not sleep with AC. And we have a fan, a ceiling fan. We put it in minimum and it's so good. Why not? Okay, tell me. Eastern philosophy says you never want moving air. It disrupts your body and makes you get sick. And whether this is me convincing myself because of that, but I always as a kid would feel sick after I had a fan on me. My nasal, I'd feel congested. That is so interesting. In Argentina, we did not have AC.
• 56:15
  So you'd always do a fan. We grew up without AC and having a fan was like, oh, dude, you are sick. That's awesome. You have money. All right. I look at it as if it's a spectrum. And this is my own hippie health is like a fan on me is the worst. I do not want that. The best for me is open windows, natural air. If it's cold as heck, let it be cold. If it's warmer, adjust my body. Now I have kids and partners and we become weak and
• 56:41
  Maybe it's related to how we grew up. I mean, you grew up for sure as a person with a lot of money. And did you have people ventilating you or? We had one mom and six kids. No ventilation, no help. My mom like, I just need to sleep.
• 56:57
  Did you grow up with AC? But that's what I'm saying. In the US, there is AC everywhere. It's tough for me because my body is not used to this. It's massive AC everywhere you go. And everywhere is on a t-shirt. And I am always bringing my hoodie because it's kind of freezing because I am not used to that.
• 57:15
  And it's funny, I agree with you, especially in like Miami and Fort Lauderdale airports. Like you go there because it's going to be warm out and the airports are so cold. They are free. So I'll come in my t-shirt and shorts and sandals and I'm feeling so cold. Are people comfortable inside? Like what's the number of the range? And then outside? I don't know because I do Celsius. So the best temperature in Fahrenheit is 69.
• 57:38
  That's your favorite temperature. No, everyone likes 69. That's what I heard. Okay. So how much up or down from 69? No. Okay. How much up or down from 69 do people feel comfortable? Oh, you can go 69, up and down. It just works fantastic. That's what I heard. 69 is a great option. It's a great option. So there's just a lot of, it's creative. There's a lot of options there.
• 58:03
  Come on, Peter. What do you want to say? Come on, health guru here. There's a study of people's comfort inside. The range is two degrees in Fahrenheit. So like what you're saying, 69. So maybe it's 68 to 70. Or for somebody else, I like it warmer. So maybe I'm 70 to 72. That's it. Inside. Guess how big it is outside. Massive. Guess how wide that 69 is.
• 58:23
  10? 20 degrees. Yeah, but there's so many questions to that because one thing is to say, what is the preference? The other thing is like where we get sick or where we die. It's nothing about sick or die. This is solely preference. Well, of course, because the outside, we cannot really control much.
• 58:40
  If it's hot outside, you can control if you walk on the sun or you walk on the shade. If you want to go to Rome in summer, it is what it is, dude. What I'm saying is what a person defines is their comfortable temperature. Inside, they are uncomfortable outside of those two degrees. Outside, it's a 20 degree range. So sleep, right? Question for you. Just answer the question. This is where we divert it. I ask you a question and then we start talking about tequilas and then we end up talking about Rome.
• 59:07
  So you being a drunk threw us off track. Disclaimer for the parents, Pablo and Peter do not drink alcohol. But you can buy our new tequila with a discount code. Pablo and Peter's tequila. 0% off.
• 59:24
  You wake up, you cannot go back to sleep. The question that I have for you is, when you wake up, why do you wake up? What makes you wake up? I mentioned in my case is usually I need to go to the bathroom to pee. What's your case? Why do you wake up?
• 59:39
  Two things. One, I think sleep is a really great one to unpack for an entire call. I love it. For me, I do not wake up of my own volition interest ever. My intention is to sleep through the night. So I'm waking up right now for two reasons. One, it's a kid that's scared, peed themselves, pacifier fell out, came into my bed. So we'll call that kid category. The other category is...
• 1:00:05
  God, divine intervention, my subconscious, whatever, causes an idea, sparks something to awaken me. Whoever, however. It's one of those two.
• 1:00:16
  All right, let's forget about the kid one. Let's just talk about the other one. Divine, divine? How do you say? Divine. Divine intervention. Like Peter's so fine, divine. All right. That would be fun to watch. At least the two of us, we would watch it. There's one where my butt's out that you liked when I leaned over for something. Yeah, that's very gay. That's definitely going to attract the right crowd. That's awesome. Sorry, I just kind of stopped picturing your butt now.
• 1:00:42
  Go on OnlyFans, follow Peter's butt. Here's your code, 0% off. See you there. So you wake up because of divine intervention and that means that you are having some thoughts. Is that what you mean?
• 1:00:58
  Yeah. It's usually some kind of thought wakes me up. Some thought wakes you up. Okay, got it. And that's when you grab the iPad and then you just write down whatever it is. Yeah. And occasionally I also have a tab that's my dreams. Some guys that I know locally created a cool dream analyzer. So sometimes it's a dream is so powerful in a scary way, in a powerful way, in a vivid way. I like, boom, I'm awake. And I'm still kind of in that dream. Yeah.
• 1:01:20
  But the simple way, the simplifier explanation is you wake up because of a thought or a dream or something. And then you just grab the iPad. You start writing and you just keep writing. And you just basically offload everything into the paper, into the scribe until you emptied everything out. And then you use one technique or the other technique to see if you potentially you go, like you say to yourself, I do, Peter, you cannot fall asleep. And the other one is you start doing the mantra.
• 1:01:50
  That's your tactic. That's good. The reason I like this topic is there's not really right and wrong answers. It's just a spectrum and recognizing where you are in that spectrum in that moment and if you want to be there. So first on that spectrum is this thought wakes me up. I can either be like, Peter, go back to bed. Like I'm going to power down or I can accept, oh, I'm awake now.
• 1:02:09
  I accept this, whatever. God, my subconscious, a dream, whatever it is, something has woken me up. Cool. So if I accept that, now I'm on the spectrum of acceptance. I'm over here on this line. But then I just, I already have the notepad ready. Oh, now I've prepared myself to get lucky, right? For a golden nugget.
• 1:02:28
  And now I lean into the agency side of the spectrum where I say, I'm going to capture all of this. I'm going to dump some of its trash, but I'm going to dump all my trash on this paper so I can clip gold nuggets tomorrow, the next day or in a year. So now I've moved. I've recognized I'm now in a high agency mode where I've shifted over to I'm going to collect this and I'm prepared to collect these things to hopefully change the world, help people, help myself, whatever it is. And I think those are the this is not something I got to overnight. Like it was years or decades of like go back to sleep.
• 1:02:57
  Why am I so weird? Why do I get ideas? Why does she never get ideas? Why do most of my friends not wake up? You know, I don't know, but I accept myself for that. I accept when that happens. And then I move into this agency mode where I'm trying to use it as a powerful thing. And then the final closure is to say, okay, trash has gotten dumped out of my head or maybe treasures, depending on what I do with it or what someone thinks. Now that's gone. Now I'm going to fully accept myself to say, don't go back to sleep. Flip it.
• 1:03:27
  and that's when it comes to a closure full circle love it love it awesome love you brother love you