Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1002 Why Kylie Loves Snapchat

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#1002 Why Kylie Loves Snapchat · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: The time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, I have some embarrassing news. You know how I
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: don't remember. I don't know Mother's day, Birthday's anniversary. No,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: I mean I kind of do do I or don't I?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: You remember that, you just don't make a big deal.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably the right way. Like, I know it's happening,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: but I just it's just another day. Well, we had
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: a substantial milestone two days ago. One thousand episodes of
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: a Happy Families podcast on Wednesday.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: That's pretty impressive.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm making it sound a bit anticlimactic, aren't I. Yeah, Well,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: we've done it a thousand times and we still can't
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: get it right. I mean, what are we doing here?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: If you haven't gone back and listened to a one thousand,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: there's a challenge for you.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I think I don't do it.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: No, it'll make your parenting better.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, started about one hundred and eighty four.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: You'll hear a real evolution in the way the podcast
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: has sounded over the years. But a thousand episodes, Kylie,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: a thousand episodes of Happy Families. Do you think that's
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: made a difference. Do you think it's helped people?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: What I do know is that while ever you and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I are engaged in these kinds of conversations, we're better
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: parents for it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'll take that. I'll take you. I do get
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: feedback from people, not just mum. In fact, you know,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: there's an old joke nobody listens except my mum. I
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: don't think my mum listens to this podcast ever.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think she does.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Say no, does you want no?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: A thousand episodes, and our parents don't listen.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: But our son in law does, Yeah, and so does
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  Speaker 1: our painter.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: We have a painter and he actually we were at
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: the top of his list the day he was here painting,
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: and he said, feels a bit weird listening to your podcast.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: While I'm in your house.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So he decided he wouldn't listen to it that day.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: A thousand episodes of Happy Families. I really, I know
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  Speaker 2: I said it in jest, but seriously, if you've got
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: the capacity for it, go back and listen. You can
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: hear how bad we out at the start, but also
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: the things that we talk about and the way that
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: we can help your family. I reckon it'll make you
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: a better parent. That's my promise. It'll make you a
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: better parent. Anyway. If you are a new listener, thanks
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: for being here for episode one thousand and two.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: If you haven't left a review, oh.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, good one. If you haven't left a review on
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, go there, click the five
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  Speaker 2: star button. We would be so stoked. A thousand episodes.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: That's got to be worth a review. That'd be great.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Tell people what you think. Let everyone know that you've
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: listened to the podcast. You think that it's great. And
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: we've got six hundred and twenty six ratings with four
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: point eight out of five. I just looked it up,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: four point eight out of five and the last one
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: that we received was from fief Fee Boss in April.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: It was only a few weeks ago. Helpful and hope Field.
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  Speaker 2: I have found calm in the chaos and hope in
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  Speaker 2: the hard time.
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  Speaker 1: Oh I love that.
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  Speaker 2: I recommend to any parent. That's a nice one, isn't it.
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  Speaker 2: We'd love to get more. Maybe you can jump on
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: give us live stars and tell us how awesome it
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: is that and you.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: See, let us know who your favorite is.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: That was kind of a wicked laugh. All right, we
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: need to do some stuff here. It's nice to chat,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: but we need to do some stuff, Kylie. Every Friday,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: it's older better tomorrow. This is a bit where we
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: talk about what's worked, what hasn't, how we're going to
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: be better tomorrow because we want to be intentional on
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: our parenting. Me first, Me first?
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Oh me? Right?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Ladies for gentlemen? Are you allow us say ladies before
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  Speaker 2: gentlemen in twenty twenty four. I've never been politically correct before.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I grew up with that and I'm sticking with it.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: And I'm so sorry for anyone who's so feminist a
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: sister that I've gone too far. But ladies four gentlemen,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: do you know what?
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  Speaker 3: So?
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  Speaker 2: I'm working on this book about masculinity at the moment,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: writing a book about bringing up boys. And my definition
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: of what it is to have healthy masculinity is that
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: you help the people around you to feel safer and
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: stronger when you defer to others and let them go first,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: or I don't know, even something as old fashioned as
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: open up a door for someone. What you're basically saying
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: is I'm considerate of you, and I don't see that
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  Speaker 2: as being sexist. I see that as being thoughtful and
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: empathic and kind to others. I don't see that as
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  Speaker 2: being a sexist thing. Anyway.
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  Speaker 1: We're not here to talk to open my door anytime
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  Speaker 1: you want.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, let's get off this. You want to go first?
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  Speaker 2: What do you reckon?
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  Speaker 1: Well, it's official, yea, I am on sapchat.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: This is going to be good. Can I start? Can
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I start your I'll do better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 1: You're going to start my answer about it?
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  Speaker 2: Now you go. But I've got to I've got to
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: jump in with the story. You're not allowed to do
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: the story. You've just reminded me.
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  Speaker 3: Go. I have pushed against snapchat ever since the kids
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  Speaker 3: got on it.
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  Speaker 1: I don't understand it.
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  Speaker 2: I just correction, didn't understand it.
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  Speaker 1: I still don't understand it. I don't even know how
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  Speaker 1: to do it.
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  Speaker 2: Looks to me like you know how to do it
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  Speaker 2: pretty well the amount of time you're spending one of
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: the moment.
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  Speaker 3: But I'm about to go away, and I was to
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: talking to the girls about how I can interact with them,
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  Speaker 3: and specifically with the girls that I work with at church,
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  Speaker 3: and I really wanted to find a meaningful way.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: So are you going to use the word snapchat in
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: the same sentence as meaningful?
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, I am a meaningful way to connect with teenagers.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: This is really hard. So I love using Marco Polo.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Me and a few friends from the other side of
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: the world connect via Marco. And I was like, maybe
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I'll just make a Marco Polo group, and the big
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: girls looked at me and went, mom, that is like
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: so old school.
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  Speaker 2: You've got to use Snapchat like Mico Polo. Okay, boomer,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: which you're not. Let's just be clear you're not. But
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Marco Polo is a bit boomerish.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: So they downloaded it for me.
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  Speaker 3: They showed me all the filters and can I tell you,
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  Speaker 3: I have just had an absolute ball and the girls
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  Speaker 3: and I have gone back and forth with these crazy
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: messages that just.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Make me laugh.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Well, welcome to twenty first cent.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: As the world changes, there's just this wonderful opportunity for
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: us to not only understand our kids world, but get
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  Speaker 1: involved in it in ways that are meaningful to them.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, so I've got to jump in here. I rail
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: against social media a lot, and snapchat has definitely got
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of drawbacks, but one thing. In fact, one
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: of my team members, Evelyn, has been going on about
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: this for a long time. The argument that I would make,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: and that everyone has really hammered home because she does
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: the same thing with her kids on Snapchat, is when
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: you're on there, you have the capacity to number one,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: know how it works, but number two have better conversations.
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  Speaker 2: You can connect better, you can keep them safer. And
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: we were driving back from an appointment just the other day.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You were in the passenger seat. I was driving, and
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  Speaker 2: I noticed that you were on your phone because you'd
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: stopped talking to me, which is one of my pet peeves.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: And next thing you know, you're I glanced at the
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: screen and you've got this crazy filter and you've got
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  Speaker 2: these bug eyes and this tiny little mouth and a
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: V shaped face and alien face. I love how funny
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: you think this is? Like right now, Kylie is falling
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: out of her seat. It's it's so funny. And you're
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: sending these messages to our daughters, just saying the stupidest things,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: and our daughters are sending back messages saying, this is
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: the great thing about Snapchat. It doesn't matter. It's just
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: about being stupid, It's about fun nobody cares. And what
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I have seen is I mean, we've got great relationships
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: with our kids anyway, but I've loved watching the joy
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: that you've had as you. There's this idea that all
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: of our connections are supposed to be meaningful and deep.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: And yet the guy that I bump into every now
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: and again whant to go surfing, don't even know his name.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: It's just heygar mate, and then we talk about nothing
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: other than the surf conditions over the last week or
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: two since we've last bumped into each other. It's a
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: meaningless conversation. I don't know the guy still don't even know,
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  Speaker 2: and yet I feel better for having made that connection.
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  Speaker 2: And research shows that just connections, regardless of how meaningful
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: or meaningless, they are, just having a sense of connection,
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  Speaker 2: feeling seen and heard and valued having a conversation, it
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  Speaker 2: makes a huge difference. And that's what I'm seeing with
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: you in this particular context.
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  Speaker 1: So do I have your blessing? Is that what you're.
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  Speaker 2: Saying you're so funny? I don't know. I don't know.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: You might have featured in one of my steps.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling a little bit crnchy at the moment about
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: it all. Let's just say I'm not going to get
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: on it. I still see social media generally, especially for me,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: as the great and happiness machine. It doesn't work well
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: for me. But if it's working for you, and it's
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: not interfering with your relationships and your sleep and your
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: physical activity and all the other stuff that's important, then
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: you go for a girl.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: What's yours?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: May I'll do better tomorrow? Oh gee, So that it's
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: not as fut as mine, No, it's not as it's
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: pretty fun. Actually, I had a win. You go out
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: every Wednesday night and look after all the girls at church.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: So there's a group of what like twenty thirty girls
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: who are aged between twelve and eighteen, and you have
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: responsibility for looking after their activities, and I guess in
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: some ways they're welfare, they're well being. That means though
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: that on a Wednesday night, I'm at home with Emily,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: our ten year old.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Let's just put this in context. You have not been home.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: No, that makes it tricky. When I'm traveling and you've
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: got to take her along and she's not supposed to
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: be there, it is tricky. But I've been home just
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: recently and had the opportunity to spend Wednesday nights with her,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: and you left the other night in just in such
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: a flurry of activity. And I'd only just walked in
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: after a really big day. I think I'd done like
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: a I don't know how many hours, but it was
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: a massive, massive day. I've walked in the door at
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: two minutes to six, You've run out the door at
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: one minute past six. The kitchen's at disaster, the house
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: is and an uproar, everything's just everywhere. And I looked
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: at Emily and I said, well, what are the chances
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: you're going to help me with the kitchen? And she
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: walked out of the room. She was like, I'm not
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: even going to have this conversation with you. Come on,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: And somehow I just said, well, you know what, am
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I reckon? It's about time we had a daddy daugh
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: to date. We just need to have a dad and
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Emily night out. What do you think? And she looked
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: at me with her eyes wide, she said really, I said, yeah,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: what do you reckon about? Some gelato? Now? You know
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: about how I feel when it comes to spending money
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: on like like spending six or seven dollars on one
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: scoop of ice cream. You know my attitude towards this.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Well, the only thing I'm going to say is you
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: definitely walked there, didn't you.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: No, No, No, that was the rule.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: That was the rule.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, So well we did walk there from where I
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: parked the cars, so slight. I said, if you want
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: to have a daddy daughter to date, we've just got
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: to do a bit of a tidy up here. I'm
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: going to work on the kitchen.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And so you bribed her?
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't bribe her. I just said, we can't
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: the daddy daughter to date until the house is tidy.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: I can tide it or we can work on it together.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: You choose, and she said no help, And I said, great,
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do the kitchen. You choose and tell
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: me what you want to do. And so she said,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I'll do the dining room. I was like, okay. And
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: she had the dining room done before i'd done a
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: third of the kitchen. And she showed me and I
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: inspected and I said, oh, well, I can see three
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: things over there, but other than that, that's perfect. And
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I said, I've still got it all the kitchen to
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: do. Do you want to do anything else to do. We
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: just want to wait. And she said, now I'll do
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: the bathroom, and then she did the lounge room, and
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: then she did the bedroom, and then she vacuumed the
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: kitchen was messy. It took a while, and by the
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: time that was all done, she was in the best
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: mood we'd been working together. Got it all done, jumped
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: in the car, drove down to Milulla Bar and parked
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: the car in the car park, walked up to the
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: gelato shop, bought her her rich dark whatever it.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Is chocolates, that chocolate.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I love the chocolate gelado. And then we came home.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: She ate all of it. I kept on trying to commit,
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: So what do you have half now and half tomorrow.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: You'd be really glad you've got some tomorrow. And she
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: just said, no, my sister, like she was convinced, if
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I put in a freezer, I'm not going to get
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: the other half. So she made it all right.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: There and then and then we sat down, laid down
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: in bed. I read her a reader, a chapter of
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: the book that we're reading together, and she went off
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: to sleep, and I just thought, Ah, this is what
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: it's about. We got to talk about really cool stuff.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: We had fun conversation the whole time, and she really
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: wanted to chat. Kids want us in their lives. They
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: want that quality time. And I'm just looking forward to
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: every Wednesday night that I'm home when you go out
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: for this youth night.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Because I'm going to make it a thing daddy daughter
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: to night with Emily down at the Gilato shop. I
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: think I'm want a winner. We really hope that helps
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: to inspire you and make your family happy. Thank you
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: so much for listening, especially if you've listened to all
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: one thousand and two episodes. What a feat The Happy
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Family podcast is produced by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer, and if you'd like
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: more info about making your family happier, we'd love to
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: help you out. Our details are at happy families dot com.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Have a great weekend to run