Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep265. Stop Playing Life on Defense: The Unconscious Programs Protecting You From the Life You Want.

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Ep265. Stop Playing Life on Defense: The Unconscious Programs Protecting You From the Life You Want. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: You want to wake up your company just need your own.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: You want to feel the need to escape your principal.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you running your life or your life running?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm my keep going.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm hoping designing 2019.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: No authentic analyzing no yard.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm hoping real wealth exactly freedom from the inside out.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Inner World Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Over the past few weeks, in my uh my mastermind, in uh the social media content that I've been sharing in past podcast episodes, I've been exploring and sharing the idea of either playing life on offense or defense.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this has been a really, really profound mechanism for helping people to understand how their what is their overall approach to life.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let me explain the difference between playing life on defense and playing life on offense.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Fear of judgment, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, fear of being seen or being visible, fear of rejection, um, fear of missing out.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, there's so many ways that, you know, we we fear, we stop ourselves, we hold ourselves back, uh, and we play life to avoid something instead of to create something.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that is playing life on on defense.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's basically protecting ourselves from something instead of just like just unleashing ourselves in the world.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I see so many, so many people that are playing life on defense where, you know, they want to, they don't want to ask for what they want because they're afraid of being seen a certain way.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're trying to control the way they're seen, they're trying to control the perception in other people, in other people's minds.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're trying to avoid judgment, they're trying to avoid, you know, being seen to be selfish or greedy.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're not asking for what they want.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're not allowing themselves to want what they want.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And all of this is living a life on defense.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope this makes sense.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's really a mechanism to keep you from keep you from experiencing a negative consequence that you've assigned in some way.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Life of defense.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And a life of offense is we be when we begin to move through these things.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, all of these things, for a lot of us, all these things are uncomfortable.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Initially, you know, I mean, I think everybody is born to try to fear judgment or or avoid judgment or to be seen a certain way.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: All of these things are part of the human experience.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: But there are literally people that are playing offense where they've let go of the worry about how they're seen.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: They've let go of trying to rearrange how people perceive them.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: They stopped worrying about people's judgment.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: They they stopped worrying about being criticized, they stopped trying to be, trying not to be rejected.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: They tried not, they stopped worrying so much about failure and started really putting all of their energy towards success.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is all living a life on offense.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it requires when when we have these fears in in our body and in our nervous system, when we're when we're holding on to these fears and they're existing within our mind and body, then it's going to be really, really uncomfortable to go on offense.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And there's there's nobody that, you know, you we can either have comfort or growth.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have both at the same time.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And to break through all these things, it requires discomfort because the nervous system has one job and one job only, and that's to keep you alive.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It tries to keep you alive by keeping you in familiar circumstances, and it tries to keep you in familiar circumstances because it knows it has absolute evidence and proof, and it knows that it can keep you alive there because you are breathing right now.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the role of the nervous system.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're when you're holding all of these fears of judgment, failure, rejection, abandonment, visibility, all these how you're seen, how you're perceived, when you're holding all these fears, it's going to be uncomfortable to break through them.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: But once you do, you start to live a life on offense.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you stop avoiding things and you start creating things.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You move from a life of survival to a life of creation.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where your soul will really shine.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And as an old mentor of mine used to say, that's where that's when you get to live soul out because you're not living to avoid negative consequences and negative feelings and negative things happening in your body.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You look to, you live to expand your circumstances and expand your experience in life and expand the abundance that you get to experience.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that is creational mode, and that's when you live soul out.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: But lately, and this about a year ago, I was teaching this same thing, this same simple concept, and I kind of lost sight of it, right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: After a while, I moved like it's almost like unconsciously I moved on to something else.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a time where I was teaching the concept of an app, and I call it adaptive protective programs.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And these apps, adaptive protective programs, are stored within our nervous system.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to revisit that.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about how an app is created and what it looks like to live a life through that app instead of living a life to let go and let's say uh uh uninstall that app.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna tell a story.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell a story about my life, a very true story.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that the intention of this story is not any sense of blame.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is not any sense of me being a victim.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is literally to educate.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I own my circumstances.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I own my life, I own, I own everything that's happened to me.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I this is not about being a victim and trying to blame.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's about helping everyone to understand the roots of the apps and how they can show up and then how we can begin to release them.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up in a home.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I just had this recent realization, and I've always known that I didn't grow up in a magical, amazing home where everything was rainbows and butterflies, and there was money flying around, and we had everything we needed, and there was no drama or conflict.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've never, I've never hid from that fact that I didn't grow up in a beautiful environment at home.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it looked, it looked better from the outside than it did the inside.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: But when you were on the inside, everyone in that house was in survival mode.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Every single one of us were in survival mode.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we just kept passing survival mode down from person to person.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I mean by this is I was never taught how to love, and I was never taught how to be loved.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that hit me today like a ton of bricks, all right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, I ended up doing the same for my children because I didn't learn how to love.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I never really learned how to be loved.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And what love for me, what it love stands for, is letting others voluntarily evolve.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's we're all here, we all have a path, we all incarnated to experience something in life.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're in a state of love with somebody, true love, letting others voluntarily evolve, you don't get in the way of their path.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't, you don't inflict more pain on their path intentionally.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You you actually like inspire them on their path and you actually help them grow and help them evolve and encourage them to face the challenges and obstacles that they're here to face in order to overcome those obstacles, learn from them, and start to use all of those lessons from a place of wisdom so that they can experience what they want to experience.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And now I get to see what love really looks like because my wife and I have we have a very loving relationship, and there's no drama, there's no conflict, there's no manipulation.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: She's not trying to get me to be anything different, and I'm not trying to get her to be anything different or do anything different.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And all we do is help each other achieve and accomplish whatever the individual wants to accomplish.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't do it from a place of what's in it for me.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: We we always look at it, what's in it for them, and I want you to want whatever you want, even if that doesn't include me.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I just, it's just a matter of encouraging them to evolve in their own special, unique way.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And their inner compass is the only place, is the only thing that is really, really like aligned with what they're here to do.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's helping each other find and align with that inner compass instead of telling each other what we should do.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's manipulation.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You should do X, Y, Z.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: For for me to try to get her to do and be what I want is manipulation.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's controlling, it's not love.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: For her to try to get me to be who she wants me to be and to do what she wants me to do, that's manipulation.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's control.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: That is not that is not love.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when you live in an environment that is not loving, guilt, shame, anger, threats, and blame are the mechanisms and are the weapons that you use to try to coerce and manipulate and control and emotionally damage somebody in the submission so that they do exactly what you want, so that they become who exactly exactly who you want them to be.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: So they they they they they just comply with what you're after.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And guilt, shame, anger, threats, and blame were very much prevalent in my childhood environment.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I brought that into my family's home environment.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I parented.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I that's how I was a husband.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Guilt, shame, anger, threats, and blame.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: They were tools of domination, they were tools of of control, they were tools of manipulation.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't love.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was taught.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I was not taught to love, and I was not taught to be loved.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: That was absent in my childhood.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I want to set the foundation for that.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what that environment did was install a an app, an adaptive and protective program deep inside my nervous system, that said and and it equated that love equals pain.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: That when you say you love someone, what it also means is they are going to inflict a lot of pain on you.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: That love equals pain, that with love comes pain.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: That if it's not painful, then it's not really love.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because that was what was modeled.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what was modeled.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the examples that I had to see.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's the examples that I had to witness.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't loving.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't, my parents, my my family, they didn't know how to love or be loved either.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: They were doing the best they could.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was just not very good.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And in turn, I I did the best I could too.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: It just wasn't very good.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we all use guilt, shame, anger, threats, and blame as woo as as wounding mechanisms.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it to look back and say, it was, it's it's crazy to believe that that a human being could just think that that is normal.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: But literally, there was an app that was installed very early in childhood that unconsciously that my body, my little, little Mike body, that that it developed developed this defense mechanism to keep me from getting hurt.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that hurt is love equals pain.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, fast forward it and advance it.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18 years old.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and when Angie and I, my wife, when we ultimately got together, our our relationship turned toxic very, very quickly.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because like there was this app installed in me that love equals pain.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that was just getting relationship right.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I it's it's amazing, it's crazy to to see how that how that just seemed that so natural and so so so right, so correct.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I didn't have any frame of reference of of what a higher level truth was.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Look, this showed up in my life in every every mechanism, right?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I took jobs because of love.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I because pain, love equals pain.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And my wife would say, get a new job, and you need to go and get make more money.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be like, okay, because it's gonna be more painful for me, but that's how you express your love, is by by suffering more and by by taking on more of the responsibility, more of the, you know, more of the just the burden of life and and in an act of addiction as my wife became even more disconnected because of her addiction, increasing levels of of her being completely physically, mentally, emotionally disconnected from the family.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I just kept assuming more, more responsibility and more authority over my family because love equals pain.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And and I just with the increasing levels of pain, I just thought I was getting it right.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And in 2016, everything in my life collapsed.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I got the opportunity to hit the reset.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is when I started my transformation, you can call it my spiritual transformation or my spiritual journey.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I got to see that all of that is absolutely bullshit.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: That love does not equal pain.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: But there was still this app installed in my nervous system that was so deeply buried and it was unconscious, and it showed up in my coaching program, it showed up in the way that I taught.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: It showed up in the way that I built community, it showed up in the way that that I that I entered into professional agreements, coaching relationships.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they they were very much based on the fact that love equals pain.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when I had, as I, as my coaching business was growing, when when I first started, when I first hired a coach, I really like we did more therapy work, and he wasn't a therapist, and he wasn't a licensed therapist, but it was really, I needed more therapy and and more more release and more to get all the darkness out of me that I needed coaching.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the journey that we went on.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it was there, there was a huge amount of forgiveness, there was a huge amount of personal awareness that was getting in touch with me and getting in touch with my body and helping, you know, turning on that emotional mechanism to allow me to feel again.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: There was so much self-mastery work that needed to be done because there was so much pain and so much damage inside of my body until I started letting go of that damage and of that heaviness.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: My life just was going nowhere.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And my first coach, even my second coach, started helping me with that.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I they tapped me in to resources and to uh exercises and to different things and approaches to start to let the pain go from inside of my body.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I documented my kundalini awakening, my spiritual awakening in my uh my latest book, Inner World, Outer World, that I just released last August 20 uh 2025.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, it was it was a matter of kind of excavating the pain and the damage that was in my body.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the initial work that I did in this spiritual transformation.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: But at some point, you know, a year into my journey, I realized that coaching is what I had always done and incorporate.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing I ever enjoyed was developing people and developing teams.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I decided to do my own coaching and teach people what I was learning along the way.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And teaching people how to unlock their own spiritual journey and their own inner power.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I was feeling more powerful inside, that's a gift that I was receiving from people that felt more powerful.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to turn that uh uh pass that on to other people.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I started doing that.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I had at one point I had a client that had been with me for eight years.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Eight years.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's a long time to coach with anyone.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we entered the uh our coaching agreement, our coaching arrangement, she she said, Hey, the problem that I've had with coaching before is when I'm done, when I've like graduated and when I'm finished, they're they usually try to manipulate and guilt and shame me back into like into the program and they don't really let me go.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Listen, that won't be a problem.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: When you're finished, you'd send me a text and you tell me you're done, and I'll say I love you, and that's it.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll send each other on our way.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: And after that, she was with me for eight years.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: She had a fear of being trapped.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: So she was running an app that said she was she would get trapped and she didn't know how to easily get out of places and things that had expired for her.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: So she was running that app, and I was gonna help her break through that app by being an example for her.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, over the course of eight years, she sent me a lot of text messages and we interacted a lot.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: But when I when I would receive a text for her from her, there was there was an immediate unconscious trigger.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that immediate unconscious trigger was she's gonna fire me.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that unconscious trigger happened in the third month of our work together.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: It happened in the sixth month of our work together, a year, two years, four years, six years.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you understand what I'm saying, is every text that I received from her, I expected her to abandon me because that app was running that love equals pain.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually the love was gonna end.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way in my childhood that I knew how to receive love was to earn it, to achieve it, to accomplish it, to accumulate it, to give people what they wanted, to meet other people's needs, to overgive, to ask for nothing.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: That that's how I learned how to how to get the love that I wanted, by being easy, by by not making waves, by not being too much of a burden, by not asking for for what I wanted, for not getting other people's way, for for keeping quiet.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: I this is how I I received love.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: As crazy as that sounds, I had to earn it, I had to deserve it.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Love was very conditional because it wasn't love.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned that love equals pain.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: That with love there comes some pain.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: So my client we loved working together, and it was just a matter of time before she abandoned me.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And after eight years, I let go of the abandonment piece, and when she tapped out, it wasn't painful.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: But that app, adaptive protective program, that said love equals pain.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Every time she called, every time she texted, it was only for one reason and one reason only, and that was to fire me.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: I went down to, I use the example of this a lot.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: We had a uh a retreat, an inner wealth mastermind retreat in Miami, Florida, and it was probably the high watermark of my coaching work.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And there were 55-ish people in a great mansion in Miami, Florida, and they were there for a few days.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: We were going to do some powerful work together.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: But guys, I have never felt more wanted, loved, deserving, like that I deserved it more valuable, more admired, more impactful than when I looked at this room of people all wearing their inner wealth uh shirts, and I looked at this, and you know what?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: That app tripped.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Love equals pain.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I gotta it it's it it's unconscious.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is stuff that we're not aware of until we make the the subconscious conscious.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: But that app tripped, and I immediately, when I felt the love and I felt the admiration, and I felt the acceptance.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt the all of that in that room.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't explain exactly what I felt, but I knew it was all gonna fall apart.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And in reality, because of that app, I made it all fall apart.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as we got home, it all started dissolving because of that app that was running deep in my nervous system that said love equals pain.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And in that room, I felt a lot of love.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And in my most recent Interwealth mastermind retreat, there were about 12 people there.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the mastermind right now is really small.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And for whatever reason, it's it's at the size that doesn't feel threatening to this nervous system and doesn't trip that app.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: That runs under the level of consciousness that says love equals pain.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And love needs to be achieved, earned, uh deserved.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: That it can't just be freely given and received.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And all I can tell you is that app was there because I was never taught how properly, how to properly love and be loved.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: And as I work through this app, because this isn't, we're not here to live in these apps and hold on to them.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to let them go.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to release them.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to become aware of them.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to acknowledge them.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to acknowledge what lesson they they were intending to teach us along the way.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we when we invite them, allow them and embrace them, then we can finally release them and let ourselves go from the need to have that app continuously run and we can uninstall it.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we can because all that app has had me do is live a life of defense.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: And as I stop living a life of defense, I live a life more of offense and I start making offers, inviting people, expecting people to reject me, expecting people to abandon me.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because all of that noise, all of those things that I've faced over the course of 50 now 54 years were all running because of that unconscious app, that adaptive protective program that said love equals pain.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when there's love, there will be pain.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not true.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was an untrue story, but it was a protection mechanism that little Mike adopted, adapted, installed to keep myself protected safe and to keep myself from getting hurt over and over and over and over again.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And fear of rejection, fear of avoidance, not making offers, not asking for too much, these were all protecting me from pain.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that kept me on defense.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in my Inner Wealth Mastermind session today, we all started talking about what apps are running our lives.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I challenged them.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're not here to live your life through that app.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are here to uninstall that app.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do we uninstall it?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: The drill method.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel the fear of abandonment, when you feel the fear of whatever it is you're dealing with, fear of abandonment, fear of losing it all, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of whatever it is, fear of visibility, fear of being judged, whatever fear that you are experiencing, it's coming from an app that's trying to protect you from something.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you practice the drill method.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel that fear, drop into your body, recognize what you're feeling, inquire and investigate it.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where did this come from?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: Inspect it.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this here?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: You listen to it, what it you find out what it's actually trying to teach you.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is how we become aware of these apps.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally, and most importantly, you let it go, let go of the fear.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because all the emotion is in your body is energy that's been stored up that that app has been protecting you from.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when you get triggered and your app gets bumped into and you start to get triggered, you drop in your body, recognize what you're feeling, inquire and investigate, listen to what it's telling you, and let it go.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: And each time you do this, there's less and less and less of this to deal with.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: And another way to stop living through your app is to just go headfirst into it.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't listened to my episode on the Speedo, my Speedo experience, please do so because I had a deep and intense fear of body and of being seen, of my body being seen because I held so much body shame.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: I would hide my body away and protect people from seeing my body.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: And in my last Interwolf Mastermind, I stood and taught in front of the room in a rainbow speedo and started working through the nervous system protection mechanisms and the apps that were keeping me in body shame.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that app that was running was love equals pain.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And they're going to judge you and they're going to reject you and they're going to see you and they're going to shame you for the shape of your body, which is exactly what I experienced when I was a child.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, we're not here.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to identify our apps, our adaptive productive uh programs.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to understand them.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we are here to acknowledge that they have, they have helped us stay alive during the course of our life because our our nervous system has one job and one job only is to keep us alive and tries to keep us alive by keeping us in familiar circumstances.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: And tries to keep us in familiar circumstances because it's proven to be able to keep you alive there.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if if that app is installed, your nervous system is trying to keep it installed.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got to work through the discomfort of letting this app go.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: But when you do, you will shift from a life of defense and avoiding the negative consequences that your app has associated with your unconscious fears.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: But we also get to shift into offensive mode.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're here to do.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: You are not here in this meat suit to survive and to be secure until your very last breath.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: You are literally here to expand your circumstances, to expand your experience of life, and to experience the dream that you came here to experience.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't do that playing defense.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, I hope this has been helpful.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for playing along.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: I hope all of this unlocks something even more powerful in you because that's what all of this is intended to do.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not just to be entertaining, but to be educational and help you break through whatever limitation that you're dealing with.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: And your only limitation are the apps running deep inside your nervous system.com for more tools and reports.