Latest / The Inspired Stories Podcast / From Purposeful Play to Personal Growth with Adrienne Anzelmo | Childcare Series
Transcript
- 0:04Welcome to another edition of Inspired Stories, where leaders
- 0:07share their experiences so we can learn from their successes,
- 0:10how they've overcome adversity, and explore current challenges
- 0:13they're facing. Welcome to another edition of
- 0:17the Inspired Stories podcast, where leaders share their
- 0:20experiences so we can learn from their successes and be inspired
- 0:24by how they've overcome adversity.
- 0:26My name is Anthony Codispotti and today's guest is Adrian
- 0:29Anzelmo, Co founder and program director of Be Curious
- 0:33Children's Learning Center, a child care center in Billerica,
- 0:37MA, which is northwest of Boston.
- 0:40She first opened her center at the age of 23 with a dream of
- 0:44providing high quality child care and preschool to children
- 0:48and families in her community. For over 20 years, they have
- 0:51grown to be the most established and reputable early childhood
- 0:55facility in their city. She has authored a children's
- 0:57book called No Matter What, which taps into her own personal
- 1:01journey for knowledge and understanding.
- 1:04As one of her children, who was born male began identifying as a
- 1:07female. Adrian continues to raise
- 1:10awareness for parents of children who struggle with
- 1:12gender identity and nonconformity.
- 1:14Part of their story is shared in a video made by George Takei of
- 1:18Star Trek fame. She has two new books on the
- 1:21way, which we'll hear more about, and she is also a
- 1:24household name on the blog Know Love What Matters, and has been
- 1:29featured on numerous other sites including Cafe Mom and Daring
- 1:32Women. Now before we get into all that
- 1:34good stuff, today's episode is brought to you by my company,
- 1:37Add Back Benefits Agency, where we offer very specific and
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- 1:47One recent client was able to add over $900 per employee per
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- 2:00To find out if your company qualifies, contact us today at
- 2:02Add Back benefitsagency.com. Now back to our guest today, the
- 2:07Co founder and program director of Be Curious Children's
- 2:10Learning Center. Adrian, I appreciate you making
- 2:13the time to Share your story today.
- 2:15Thank you so much for taking the time to have me on today and and
- 2:19talk a little bit about the industry of early education.
- 2:22It's such an important thing and it's so often overlooked.
- 2:25So thank you. Absolutely.
- 2:27OK, so we were talking a little bit before we went live here.
- 2:31You're born and raised in the Bill Rookie community and went
- 2:36away for school and decided to come back.
- 2:39What was behind that decision? Yeah.
- 2:42So I started in early education during my college years.
- 2:46I was a freshman in college and I lost my father to a bout of a
- 2:51very short bout of cancer. And so he left us pretty
- 2:54suddenly and my mom with three children, my oldest sister being
- 3:00a junior in college, myself being a freshman in college, and
- 3:03then my younger sister being a sophomore in high school.
- 3:05So I decided at that point, if I wanted to stay at the small
- 3:09private college I was at, that I should really get a job and not
- 3:13ask her for money outside of of college tuition.
- 3:16And so I looked around and landed just by chance, a job at
- 3:21a local preschool. I was going to school for social
- 3:25work. And so I knew I wanted to work
- 3:26with children, but I, I didn't anticipate myself in the
- 3:29education space. I, I anticipated more working
- 3:33with children of high risk in foster care and adoption.
- 3:37That was sort of my path at the time.
- 3:39And when I got into early education and started spending
- 3:43time in this preschool classroom, I absolutely fell in
- 3:46love with the industry. And I was so young at the time
- 3:50and this was my first experience that I thought all early
- 3:53education facilities were run like the one that I was
- 3:56currently working at. And so I finished out my college
- 3:59degree in social work and at the time also decided to get my
- 4:03certification through early, the Department of Early Education
- 4:07and Care, which is an EEC certificate to work within the
- 4:10industry and sort of pursue both careers until I was more sure of
- 4:15what I wanted to do. And as I started some post grad
- 4:20work and moved around a little bit, I started to work at some
- 4:23other facilities and start to recognize that like, hey,
- 4:26actually not all places are created equal.
- 4:29Not all all facilities are created equal.
- 4:32And that drove my passion to want to open my own facility and
- 4:37sort of carry out the idea of really providing a strong
- 4:43environment for these kids for age zero to five.
- 4:45And so I decided to do that back, you know, closer to where
- 4:50I grew up. And my mom, who is my my
- 4:53partner, the, you know, my co-owner, we owned the company
- 4:56together. She lived, still lived in this
- 4:59area where, where, where I was from and where I grew up.
- 5:01And so my father and her owned a business previous to his death.
- 5:07And so she had all the accounting background and
- 5:10ability to to sort of run a business.
- 5:12And I had all this passion and, and drive to want to, you know,
- 5:16make a difference in the space of early education that we
- 5:19decided to partner up and, and go for it.
- 5:22So, Adrian, what was it that was different about that first
- 5:26center that you worked at that you weren't seeing in those
- 5:29subsequent centers? So, you know, first of all, the
- 5:34first center I worked at, the owner was the director.
- 5:37And so I think that there was a level of investment when the
- 5:41person that was directing the center was the owner because
- 5:45you, you're only as successful as your business, right?
- 5:47And so I initially thought some of these other centers I had
- 5:52gone to work at, that wasn't the case.
- 5:54And I, I initially thought, OK, well, you know, maybe, maybe
- 5:57centers to be successful need to be small and privately owned.
- 6:01But as time went on, I started to recognize that that's not the
- 6:04case. There are lots of corporate
- 6:06centers out there that are successful and do a great job.
- 6:10But it really comes down to, you know, is that top tier level of
- 6:16administration trained and really eligible to be, you know,
- 6:20leaders in the field and what are they doing to really provide
- 6:26this rich environment for their students?
- 6:29And so I got that experience a lot with that first center and
- 6:34and a few centers to follow. But but I just realized that our
- 6:38centers over, you know our industries over saturated with
- 6:41facilities but not saturated with quality early education.
- 6:48So it was more like these were sort of like drop off daycare
- 6:53centers where they're just kind of making sure the kid is safe,
- 6:57but maybe not moving the needle too much on education.
- 7:00Would that be correct observation?
- 7:02Very correct. But also it's important to note
- 7:04that education for kids zero to 5 doesn't look like the
- 7:08education that you would think in an elementary classroom, you
- 7:11know, sitting down and to pencil, to paper or asking
- 7:15children to even sit for long periods of time at 345 years
- 7:19old. It's, it's not, it's not a
- 7:22reasonable expectation. So a lot of learning at that age
- 7:26happens through purposeful play, but there's a difference between
- 7:30purposeful play and then just play.
- 7:33And so that's where I think there is a lot of, you know,
- 7:37misguidance within the industry because you can walk into an
- 7:41early education facility and see kids playing and really learning
- 7:45nothing because you're not really giving them a rich
- 7:47environment. You're not giving them
- 7:49purposeful play experiences. You're not putting them in so
- 7:52social situations where you're giving them the opportunity to
- 7:55generalize skills. Or you can walk in and see
- 7:58children playing and have all of those things in place.
- 8:00And I think to an untrained eye that might be not easy to see at
- 8:06first sight. What would be an example of
- 8:09purposeful play? How would that differ from just
- 8:12play? So an example that I like to
- 8:15give is if you want to teach a child, you know, one thing that
- 8:20a lot of people want to teach a child, say a three-year old is
- 8:23about emotions, right? And so you can walk into a
- 8:26classroom and you can see lots of things around the classroom,
- 8:30like maybe a chart with all different emotions, a happy, you
- 8:33know, happy child smiling, a sad child crying, a mad child with
- 8:38an angry face. You might see a, a bucket with,
- 8:41with emotion flash cards inside. And you think to yourself like,
- 8:45this is really great. This center is teaching kids
- 8:47about emotions and that's such an important thing that they're
- 8:50going to bring to school with them, right?
- 8:51It's a such an important tool to put in their toolbox.
- 8:54But just because we're pointing to something and saying, OK,
- 8:58what is this child? And and the child says back to
- 9:01you, that child is happy. And then you point to the next
- 9:03child and you say, what's that child?
- 9:04And the child says to you, oh, that child's sad.
- 9:07You're not really teaching them what happy and sad means.
- 9:11They can look at it and tell you and even sometimes at home if
- 9:15they see like a sad parent or a sad sibling, they might say
- 9:20you're happy or you're sad and think that's great, they're
- 9:23learning a new skill. But really what you want to
- 9:25teach them is this is what happy looks like.
- 9:28But how do we navigate happy? How do we navigate sad?
- 9:32You know, you can sit and read a book to a child where they see a
- 9:35child being left out on the playground.
- 9:37And in this book that you know, the, the one child goes over to
- 9:41the sad child and says, do you want to come with us?
- 9:45And the, the you know, the sad child says, okay, and they get
- 9:48up and they go to they run off and play together.
- 9:51And you think, okay, now we're teaching this child that be
- 9:54inclusive, include people try to make them less sad.
- 9:57But as we know, peers aren't like adults.
- 10:01Those relationships aren't predictable.
- 10:03So what happens when you run up to appear on the playground and
- 10:05you try to generalize that skill and say, do you want to come
- 10:08play with me? And the child looks at you and
- 10:09says, no, I don't want to come play with you.
- 10:11What does that look like? What does that feel like for the
- 10:13child that just got rejected? And so giving them these really
- 10:17rich play opportunities and social opportunities and really
- 10:21like taking time and space to say, like, how did that make you
- 10:24feel? What can we do?
- 10:26Now that this child said that they don't want to play?
- 10:28What is the next best move? Really diving into some of those
- 10:31really deeper opportunities is really what's giving children
- 10:36the skill set that they need to go off to kindergarten.
- 10:39And unfortunately, nowadays, you know, kindergarten has such an
- 10:43academic rigor to it that teachers don't often have time
- 10:47to teach these social lessons that are are so important in the
- 10:50foundation of these children's lives.
- 10:53So, Adrian, in that specific example that you mentioned
- 10:55there, what would be the next step?
- 10:57Like, how would you sort of coach that child who was doing
- 11:00the right thing, who was trying to be inclusive and invite, you
- 11:03know, this lonely child into their activities and was
- 11:06rejected and was turned down? Yeah, I mean, there there's no
- 11:09right or wrong way to handle it necessarily.
- 11:11And this is what I would say to a teacher of mine.
- 11:14I would I would not say like in this situation, this is how you
- 11:17have to handle it, right? Because a lot of it is about
- 11:19reading the room. If you know that that child by
- 11:22asking again that that child will come around, that that's
- 11:25their nature of that. You might say to the student
- 11:28like, why don't you give them a minute?
- 11:29Why don't you do a lap around the playground?
- 11:31That was so nice of you. Why don't you do a lap around
- 11:33the playground and come back and ask again.
- 11:35And it might also give you space and time to say, like, wow, it
- 11:38must feel really good that Johnny came over and asked you
- 11:41to play. Maybe he'll come back.
- 11:42And if he does, I think you should think about it because
- 11:45look how much fun he's having. He's climbing the monkey bars.
- 11:48Oh, he's also playing with Liam. And you love Liam.
- 11:51So that that would be so much fun.
- 11:53And then typically when that child comes back, you know, the
- 11:56nice thing about kids zero to five is they're a pretty easy
- 11:58crowd. You know, for the most part,
- 12:00they are pretty easy to redirect.
- 12:02They're pretty easy to please. And if that child comes back and
- 12:05gets rejected again, it's OK to say, you know what, it sounds
- 12:09like he's just not ready to play.
- 12:10And that's OK. But you still did the right
- 12:12thing. And you should still feel really
- 12:14glad and really happy with yourself that you took the time
- 12:18to notice that this child is being left out in offer.
- 12:21And it's in, you know, that child that's putting themselves
- 12:26out there and maybe not getting that feedback.
- 12:29It's OK to acknowledge, yeah, you must be really sad that you
- 12:32put yourself out there and didn't get back.
- 12:34You didn't get anything back. But guess what?
- 12:35That's what life is about. How often as adults do we give
- 12:39and give and give and we don't get back?
- 12:41And so, you know, you can't always do things to to get that
- 12:44reward in the end. So I think there's just so many
- 12:46valuable lessons tied into just that one scenario.
- 12:50And from what we've talked about so far, it seems like perhaps a
- 12:55large part of your curriculum is sort of focused on these social
- 12:59and emotional development issues.
- 13:01Would that be correct? Yeah, so I actually just
- 13:04obtained my master's degree this past May, and my whole thesis
- 13:06was on social emotional development in children ages 0
- 13:11to 5. I think post pandemic
- 13:14especially, a lot of kids are really lacking this skill set
- 13:18because they spent more time at home.
- 13:20Parents were more afraid to leave the house.
- 13:23And I think once they got back into the classroom, kids were so
- 13:26academically behind at the elementary level that social
- 13:30emotional really took a back seat when it needed to really be
- 13:33at the forefront even more. And kids that, you know, would
- 13:37typically have been in early education for two or three years
- 13:40already are now coming in needing so much more from us
- 13:44than than, you know, what they would have had had COVID never
- 13:48happened. So we've always been really firm
- 13:50believers in social emotional growth, but I, I think in the
- 13:53last, you know, five years, it has really come to the forefront
- 13:57and really allowed us to stop and say like, Hey, this is, this
- 14:00is what needs our time. This is what really needs our
- 14:02attention. If nothing else, academics are
- 14:05important. Academic exposure is absolutely
- 14:07wonderful, but your child does not need to know how to write an
- 14:11alphabet more than they need to know how to navigate peer
- 14:13relationships. Wow, that last sentence was
- 14:16pretty powerful. And and I'll, I'll back that up
- 14:19from my experiences too. You know, I've had the
- 14:21opportunity to interview a number of child care center
- 14:24owners across the country. And I hear the same thing over
- 14:28and over again coming out of COVID.
- 14:29And my wife is a speech therapist for young children in
- 14:33a local school district here. And as things are getting back
- 14:37to normal after COVID, they were seeing more cases and more
- 14:42severe cases than they had ever seen.
- 14:45And and not by a little bit, by a lot.
- 14:47And she's like, yeah, it was just, you know, the isolation of
- 14:50these kids for so long during these really important formative
- 14:54years, as well as, you know, kids who would normally have
- 14:57been kind of identified in the system as needing a little bit
- 15:00of extra help earlier on. You know, they went a couple of
- 15:03years without getting that extra help.
- 15:05And so things, you know, became sort of worse, exacerbated
- 15:09during that time. So I, I think it's great that
- 15:11we're, we're, we, but more particularly, you are shining a
- 15:15light on all of this right now. Yeah, thank you.
- 15:19I absolutely agree with you. And I think that there are not
- 15:22all programs are doing that and I and it's important that we
- 15:26stop and say you know what is important and what is most
- 15:30important in this industry and really make sure that we
- 15:33calibrate to that. Yeah, just a quick tangent for a
- 15:39second here. For our regular viewers slash
- 15:42listeners that may be taking in the video version of this,
- 15:47nothing's wrong on your end. We had some technical challenges
- 15:50here and so we turned off our videos so that we could make
- 15:53sure we had all the bandwidth that we needed for the most
- 15:56important part of this, which is the audio.
- 15:58So lots of great content here already and we're going to get
- 16:03into some even more interesting stuff.
- 16:05So it's, it's great that we were able to to get the audio here
- 16:10figured out so that we can focus on the great content.
- 16:13So, Adrian, tell me a little bit more about what a typical day
- 16:18would look like for one of your students.
- 16:22So every classroom's a little bit different.
- 16:24We, we serve children ages zero to five.
- 16:27And so for our zero to 12 to 15 months kids, those are
- 16:32considered our infants. The state mandate is our this
- 16:36excuse me, the state mandates our age groups.
- 16:39So we don't have much say in how we develop the age groups for
- 16:45each classroom. So zero to 15 months is
- 16:50considered an infant and infants run on their own schedule.
- 16:53So every day really looks different for every infant.
- 16:57It's around 12 months when we start to consider their
- 17:00transition to the Todd the room, the Todd the program, which goes
- 17:02from 15 months to two years, nine months that we start to try
- 17:06to move towards a more structured class schedule.
- 17:10And then Toddlers, which starts at 15 months all the way up to
- 17:13age 5 is a more structured classroom schedule.
- 17:16Now with that being said, obviously our kids in a toddler
- 17:19classroom are not going to be held to the type of schedule
- 17:24that are say pre-K, which is our year before kindergarten kids
- 17:27are held to. The reason that we create class
- 17:30schedules is number 1, so we all have an opportunity to get on
- 17:34the playground and two, really so kids understand
- 17:38predictability. And for our older classrooms,
- 17:41our preschool and pre-K kids, they can hold some
- 17:43accountability to their daily routine.
- 17:45So when they come in, they know that they're supposed to unpack
- 17:48their backpack, pull out their snacks.
- 17:50They have a routine they follow that helps them not only learn
- 17:53self help skills, but also it gives them some accountability
- 17:58to themselves into their classroom.
- 18:00They might have a classroom job they need to do or check
- 18:02themselves in. You know, just depending on what
- 18:04the classroom routines are in that specific classroom.
- 18:07In all of our classrooms, including our infant classrooms,
- 18:10we touch on curriculum areas every day.
- 18:13So every day the kids are going to be exposed to many, not just
- 18:17play opportunities, but like I had said, some pre academic and
- 18:21academic opportunities. A lot of this is very open-ended
- 18:24and play based. You know, every day they do a
- 18:27science and sensory activity. What does this look like in a
- 18:29toddler classroom? You think science, you might
- 18:32think, you know, they're not doing biology, but we might have
- 18:36sensory buckets out full of of, you know, kinetic sand with
- 18:40little dinosaur bones hidden inside.
- 18:42If the kids are learning about dinosaurs and they have to go
- 18:44through and pull out the dinosaur bones.
- 18:46And then for our older toddlers and young preschoolers, they
- 18:49might pull those dinosaur bones out and then do accounting
- 18:52activity with them. So we can extend that into a
- 18:55math or manipulative activity. For some kids, we might in the
- 19:00older classrooms, we might have the bones might be a bit smaller
- 19:02and they might use a set of tweezers to pull them out.
- 19:05So we're working on the pincer grip and that fine motor skill.
- 19:07So when they get to writing, they have sort of the skills
- 19:11that they need and the small muscle control.
- 19:14And when they get to pre-K, they might pulling be pulling those
- 19:16bones out. And if they're really, you know,
- 19:18if they're a group that's ready for it, they might be naming
- 19:21some of the bones. You know, what part of the
- 19:23dinosaur does this come to? They might be going and matching
- 19:26it up to an actual picture of a dinosaur and seeing where it
- 19:29matches. So they can use their cognitive
- 19:31and cognitive skills and critical thinking.
- 19:34And so they've got this opportunity every day for math
- 19:38and manipulative science and sensory art, fine motor, gross
- 19:41motor. And then again, that very, very,
- 19:44very important free play part of the day.
- 19:47But what you're describing here, Adrian, sounds like a fantastic
- 19:51approach to early childhood education.
- 19:53Is there a way in your mind to sort of move the overall
- 19:57industry towards more of this model?
- 20:03Well, you know, I, I say all the time when I meet owners and I
- 20:08meet directors who sort of share in this passion, I just tell
- 20:12them that we just have to keep fighting the good fight and
- 20:15keep, you know, letting our mission be known.
- 20:17And we work with a lot of, you know, outside agencies that go
- 20:21into different centers. And I, I'm constantly educating
- 20:25them on how important it is that when they're in these centers
- 20:28that don't have this high quality education that they say
- 20:30something, you know, like early intervention, for example.
- 20:34These early intervention is an agency that works with kids with
- 20:37developmental delays age 0 to 3. And so they go across all, you
- 20:43know, they go across all centers across the state and they'll
- 20:47come into our program and say, well, this program is, is
- 20:49wonderful. But I was at a program yesterday
- 20:51and I said, well, if you were at a program yesterday and it
- 20:54didn't meet your expectations, it's important that it's
- 20:56important that you speak up because those kids deserve this
- 21:00opportunity as much as the ones that are here today and, you
- 21:03know, with me. And so we just keep, you know,
- 21:07really, you know, letting our mission be known and really
- 21:12screaming from the rooftops, you know, even through get a state
- 21:16level and you know, when my licensor comes in, when our
- 21:19state licensor comes in, we, you know, we just keep letting that
- 21:24mission be known and how important it is that we really
- 21:27still all start moving in the same direction.
- 21:29I think another really, really important aspect that can move
- 21:33us in that direction. And again, nothing within my
- 21:35control, but something that I often talk about is the right
- 21:41now to be a director in an early education facility is only about
- 21:4620 college credits. You only need 20 college
- 21:49credits. And so it's I think of myself
- 21:55from when I was 23, and I think of how prepared I truly was.
- 22:04They actually owned a business and how educated dialectically
- 22:12was. Hey, Adrian, I think we've got a
- 22:28little bit of a connection issue.
- 22:29You're your audio's dropping out there.
- 22:39Yeah, in this moment I'm not able to.
- 22:40Hear an amazing. Adrian, are you able to hear me?
- 23:08Can you hear me? I can hear you now.
- 23:10I didn't catch the, the, the entirety of your previous answer
- 23:15that was cutting out. So we'll, we'll edit the the,
- 23:21the missteps. They're out.
- 23:23OK. And and maybe we'll just shift
- 23:25gears to a a new topic. OK.
- 23:28And unless you unless you had more that you wanted to say on
- 23:30that. I don't remember now.
- 23:34Fair enough. Maybe maybe let's talk about
- 23:40your second child and tell me about when you first became
- 23:44aware that they were having questions about their gender
- 23:46identity and what that was like for you and the and the whole
- 23:49family. Yes, so she was actually about
- 23:57old. Hey, Adrian, I'm sorry.
- 24:03I'm going to, I'm going to cut you off.
- 24:04We're we're losing your audio again, I'm not sure what's going
- 24:07on. Old enough to speak.
- 24:11OK, can you? I'm going to go reset my router.
- 24:12Can you give me two minutes? Yep, no problem.
- 26:36OK, can you hear me? I can.
- 26:39Did you actually reset the router?
- 26:40Because I I figured we would lose Internet connection if you
- 26:42did that. I did I reset the router.
- 26:45OK, All right, well, let's try that question again.
- 26:48Let's see how the audio goes this time.
- 26:50OK, so. Yeah, let, yeah, let let me
- 26:54introduce with the with the question again.
- 26:56So we've got sort of a, a clean place to start the edit.
- 26:59So Adrian, I want to shift gears for a moment and let's talk
- 27:03about your second child and when you first became aware that they
- 27:07were having questions about their janitor identity and what
- 27:10that was like for you, for them and for the whole family.
- 27:16Yes. So when my second child was
- 27:19born, she began identifying as female as young as 18 months,
- 27:25believe it or not, as soon as she was old enough to talk.
- 27:29Yeah, as soon as she was old enough to talk, she would tell
- 27:32us that she was a girl and we would correct her over and over
- 27:37again. And she would go to school,
- 27:40maybe she went to my early education facility and she would
- 27:44dress up in all of the dresses and, and fancy bows and, and
- 27:49dress shoes. And she just couldn't wait to
- 27:51get to school because she had an older brother.
- 27:53So it's not like we had a lot of, you know, girly toys here.
- 27:57Not that there are girl boys and girl toys and boy toys
- 28:00necessarily, but a lot of the things that she enjoyed playing
- 28:03with a lot of the Princess things, sparkly things, we
- 28:05didn't own a lot of those things at the time.
- 28:07And so when she got to school she was all about that.
- 28:10And when she was around 3 1/2 she started to start to get
- 28:17angry when she would tell us that she was a girl and we would
- 28:20tell her she wasn't. And around 4 was when she
- 28:24started to self harm and have some self loathing.
- 28:31You know, I, I don't want to be alive anymore if I can't just be
- 28:35a girl like all the other girls. And so that's when we decided to
- 28:40seek some professional help and we called Children's Hospital.
- 28:43They have a whole gender unit over at Boston Children's
- 28:48Hospital. And we scheduled an appointment.
- 28:50And around age 5, we went to this appointment and the doctor
- 28:55was absolutely wonderful and really sort of unpacked
- 28:58everything that Maddie was feeling and everything that we
- 29:01were feeling and was able to lay it out for us in a way that
- 29:06really made more sense. Because I was always about
- 29:09supporting my child, but also wanted to make sure that as
- 29:14their as her parent, that I was also being the right type of
- 29:17compass for her. And we decided after that
- 29:22appointment when we started seeing the statistics for how
- 29:24often kids that you know, do have gender dysphoria and are
- 29:28not validated and are not shown unconditional love, how often
- 29:32they turn to self harming and suicide and things like that.
- 29:36And we just made the decision that the only thing at the time
- 29:39we're changing right now is her name and pronouns to give her
- 29:43this validation. We need to do that.
- 29:45And so we did. And I can say, and so we did
- 29:48like it was easy. It it wasn't, you know, there
- 29:51was a lot, there was a lot around that a lot of we needed
- 29:57to come to a sense of acceptance and we needed to really look
- 30:00deep in in into ourselves. And neither of us really had
- 30:03anything against people that were transgender.
- 30:05We really just had never even had never been on our radar.
- 30:09But we were met with a lot of judgement and a lot of hate and
- 30:13really had to come together as a family and and be strong.
- 30:16Even when we weren't, we had to pretend we were.
- 30:19And even when people would question and us and we were
- 30:21almost at sometimes questioning ourselves, we just knew that
- 30:24this was the right path for her and that we needed to love and
- 30:28support her at all costs. And it, it has gotten much
- 30:32easier. And you know, she's been so
- 30:35strong and so sure of herself that it has made everything
- 30:42easier for us. And she went from being an A
- 30:46really angry, confused child to being happy, well adjusted and
- 30:56and, you know, you, you can't put a price tag on that.
- 30:58You know, most people say that must have been really hard.
- 31:01I'm not sure I can do it. And I, I said if you love, if
- 31:03you love your child, you could absolutely do it.
- 31:06You, you know, yeah. And So what?
- 31:09How old is she now? She's 13. 13 so you were going
- 31:14through all of this 8-9 years ago and this is when, correct me
- 31:21if I'm wrong, but you know, awareness of transgender was
- 31:27really, I wouldn't even say in its infancy.
- 31:29It was probably something that a lot of people weren't even
- 31:31familiar with, they hadn't heard about.
- 31:33I think, you know, for a lot of people, sort of the the
- 31:36realization that this was, you know, even a thing was probably
- 31:41Bruce Jenner to Caitlyn Jenner. Am I remembering that correctly?
- 31:45Yes, I would say we were, we were sort of a little bit ahead
- 31:49of the, the curb from, you know, from a media standpoint, right.
- 31:54This is something that existed long before my daughter and will
- 31:57exist for many years to come. But I, I do think that there was
- 32:00a more of a media awareness and more discussions happening when,
- 32:06when the whole Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner had had come out.
- 32:09And also too, I think I am Jazz, which is a, a pretty popular
- 32:14program that was on TLC had come out and, and kind of sparked a
- 32:18lot of interest in the world. But I, I could tell Maddie, I
- 32:23tell her all the time, you know, I'm a pioneer in what I do and
- 32:25she's a pioneer in what she does.
- 32:27And so there's nothing wrong with that.
- 32:29She's she's a great kid and she's had to grow up quicker
- 32:34than most kids should have to, but she's handled it with with
- 32:37grace and and I could not be more proud to be her mom.
- 32:40You made the point, Adrian, that this has become a lot easier.
- 32:44And I'm wondering if it's become easier because the public is
- 32:48more aware and more accepting or if that's not the case and it's
- 32:53just gotten easier because kind of within your, your family
- 32:56unit, you are more equipped and more, I don't know, kind of
- 33:05settled into what this new dynamic is like.
- 33:09Yeah, I think, I think really this is this, it's a, it's a
- 33:13more of a personal growth. I've never had to, I've never
- 33:18had to be so sure of anything. And so even when I wasn't sure,
- 33:24I had to be sure because I, we had to really be a unified
- 33:28strong front because we knew we would get a lot of, of backlash
- 33:32and a lot of people asking a lot of questions.
- 33:34And sometimes when people ask questions and they come off as
- 33:36mean, they're not meant to be that way.
- 33:39Sometimes they're just ignorant to the way that they're asking a
- 33:42question or, or why they're asking a question.
- 33:45You know, even Maddie's friends at school when they found out
- 33:48she was transgender, one said, one child said, well, does that
- 33:52mean that you have a penis? And, and Maddie, you know, very
- 33:56strong and very, very well equipped said, well, I, I don't
- 34:01really talk about what's in my pants and you probably shouldn't
- 34:04talk about what's in yours either.
- 34:06And, and that really ended the conversation very quickly
- 34:09because, because really that's true.
- 34:11We don't meet each other and, and talk about that.
- 34:14And so, you know, she's able to really normalize the way that
- 34:20she lives and she's her own person.
- 34:23Now at 13, I can have a conversation with her and she
- 34:27can really help me identify sometimes things that I'm
- 34:31feeling or uncertainties I'm feeling around certain
- 34:33situations. And she's so sure and articulate
- 34:37that it really helps me be sure and articulate as well.
- 34:41So yeah, it's it's it's really growing in these convictions.
- 34:48And now I look back at pre transition and I think to
- 34:51myself, what took me so long? And I know she was only 5, but
- 34:55she told me for a solid four years.
- 34:57And for four years I never told her.
- 35:01I never made her feel bad. But for a long time I, I
- 35:03corrected her because I thought that's what I was supposed to
- 35:06do. And so I cut her hair short
- 35:08because I wanted to remind her that she was a boy.
- 35:11And I did all these things trying to be the best mom that I
- 35:14could be. And I look back now and I know
- 35:16pictures are hurtful. You know, it hurts for her to
- 35:18look at those. If I had just let her keep her
- 35:20long hair that it would, that would have been easy, easier for
- 35:22her. But I didn't know.
- 35:24I didn't know so. Yeah, And I I think that's the
- 35:27important thing is, you know, you didn't have a frame of
- 35:29reference. It wasn't something that you had
- 35:31come across. It wasn't something that you
- 35:33dealt with before. You didn't, you probably didn't
- 35:36grow up knowing anybody who was transgender.
- 35:39And, you know, you didn't, you just didn't have a mental model.
- 35:42And I, and I think that's probably where, you know, a lot
- 35:44of people still are today. You know, we tend to fear or
- 35:49judge or dismiss or, you know, cast down upon things that we
- 35:54don't understand. And you made an interesting
- 35:57point, Adrian, that, you know, a lot of times when people are
- 36:00asking questions that come across as mean or hurtful,
- 36:03they're, they're not intending to be that way.
- 36:07They just, they have a lack of familiarity, they have a lack of
- 36:10experience. And perhaps they are genuinely
- 36:13curious in trying to better understand something that is
- 36:17completely new and foreign to them.
- 36:19What for, for people listening who are sort of in that boat
- 36:24that are like, hey, I'm, I'm trying to wrap my head around
- 36:26this, like what, what would be the OK questions?
- 36:29What would be the acceptable questions for them to ask?
- 36:33You know, I think really, honestly, any question is OK to
- 36:37ask. I think a lot of times it's how
- 36:39we deliver questions. You know, it's, it's funny
- 36:44because IA friend of mine said, you know, there's this, there's
- 36:48this person at church and I'm afraid to talk because I don't
- 36:54know what pronouns to use. And I said, OK, so we're just
- 36:57not, we're just not going to talk to them because we don't
- 37:00know. Why don't you ask them what
- 37:02pronouns to use? And she said, is that OK to do?
- 37:06And I said, well, I don't know. I don't know if this person will
- 37:09be offended by this. But we don't know unless we try.
- 37:13And I feel like rather than social isolation, that this,
- 37:17this individual would want to be asked, would feel respected for
- 37:22being asked. And, and again, maybe that maybe
- 37:24that's not the feedback that that she would get if she asked.
- 37:27But much like that little child on the playground who might not
- 37:31get that child to get up and go play, I think it's important
- 37:33that we take these social risks. And that shows a lot about who
- 37:37we are as people when we're able to say like, hey, listen, I
- 37:41don't mean to offend you, but I, I want to have a conversation
- 37:44with you. And I want this to be a
- 37:45respectful conversation. So do you have a preferred
- 37:47pronoun that I should use? And I think that that's a really
- 37:50OK and acceptable question. But I think it's really the way
- 37:54that it's being asked is really an important aspect.
- 37:57And if you went to a good preschool and you have good
- 37:59social skills, then you'll probably know how to do that.
- 38:02See. See that full circle?
- 38:05I like how you tied that in. Well done.
- 38:09You know, Adrian, there, there's a point in my interviews where I
- 38:12always like to ask a question about a particular challenge
- 38:14that people have overcome, whether it's a business or
- 38:17personal. I feel like maybe we're touching
- 38:21upon what's probably been one of your biggest challenges to
- 38:25overcome. But I, I, I don't want to make
- 38:27that assumption and I want to open the mic if you want to give
- 38:29voice to something else. Yeah.
- 38:32So actually I thought a lot about, we had talked about that
- 38:36we were, you know, we were going to dive into this and it's I'm
- 38:41torn between professional me and personal me here.
- 38:45You know, professionally. There was a point that I
- 38:49remember in business that I really had to lean into growth,
- 38:52which is very important to do, which we can touch on after if
- 38:55you want. But I will stay on this line of
- 38:57questioning personally, because personally, owning a business
- 39:01and raising a family, especially a family with young children,
- 39:06especially a family with young children who have diverse needs
- 39:11has been really so very challenging.
- 39:16And I don't think people understand truly, when you're a
- 39:20small business owner, the capacity in which your brain is
- 39:23constantly working, your body is constantly working.
- 39:27You know, there are no days off. There are no days off.
- 39:31When I had my kids, I took a two week maternity leave with all
- 39:34three of them and two weeks just isn't enough.
- 39:37And I was still tied to my e-mail and tied to touching base
- 39:42with them everyday. And I have Maddie, who we spoke
- 39:47about, but I also, my youngest child also has an autism
- 39:50diagnosis with a communication delay.
- 39:52And so we're raising him and making sure that he has
- 39:56everything he needs and he has all of the supports in place to
- 39:59live a happy, successful life and finding a balance of, you
- 40:04know, having a husband and being part of a partnership with
- 40:08someone who I'm raising kids with and run a business.
- 40:11This business has become. A family entity, you know, we've
- 40:16had vacations cut short because of my business.
- 40:19We've had days off that were supposed to be days off that
- 40:23turned into not days off. A perfect example is my daughter
- 40:27and I were walking in to get pedicures one day.
- 40:30It was a date day for the two of us just a few months ago.
- 40:33And I got a call from my mom who was covering the school and
- 40:36said, so our state license is here for a surprise visit.
- 40:39And we went from pedicure chairs to the school in about 10
- 40:43minutes. And so she said, what about our
- 40:45pedicures? And I said, they're going to
- 40:47have to wait. And so my kids and husband have
- 40:49had to learn it's going to have to wait a lot from from me over
- 40:52the years. And they've had to be part of
- 40:55this business too. My husband has been an integral
- 40:58part of of the, the grounds in the facility.
- 41:02And like I said, my mom has has sacrificed endlessly for, for
- 41:07this business. And I have two sisters that I
- 41:10had mentioned previously who 1, is a special teacher in special
- 41:14education and she's been my education consultant for many
- 41:18years. And my other younger sister is a
- 41:21nurse. So she's been my healthcare
- 41:22consultant. And both are called upon very
- 41:25regularly to be part of, of what we do.
- 41:27And so, you know, there's just been an endless amount of
- 41:32sacrifice from, from every member of my, my small and big
- 41:36family. And finding that balance has
- 41:40been, has been difficult, rewarding, worth it.
- 41:44Absolutely. I would do it again 100 times
- 41:47over. But it's business ownership is
- 41:51not for the faint of heart, I will say that.
- 41:54Yeah, I think you hit on something really good here,
- 41:55Adrian. For those people who, you know,
- 41:58they, they've got a, a nine to five type of job.
- 42:01It's not that, you know, those folks go home and they never
- 42:04think about their work. But I think the degree to which
- 42:08small business owners are often fully consumed by their business
- 42:1424/7. Whether it's, you know, needing
- 42:17to get up and leave a pedicure to go in for a surprise
- 42:19inspection, or just having your mind constantly be working on
- 42:25all of the issues that need to be solved.
- 42:27You know, in the background, you know, right, I've got a, a water
- 42:31pipe that needs to be fixed. I've got payroll to meet.
- 42:35I've got this, you know, these two employees not getting along.
- 42:39I've got an upset parent. And how am I going to deal with
- 42:42that? Like it's, it's hard and
- 42:45sometimes it's, it feels downright impossible to just to
- 42:48turn those things off and be fully focused on the present
- 42:50moment. So as you look back on you know
- 42:54how you've done this over the past several years, you said you
- 42:57would do it again in a heartbeat.
- 42:59Is there anything you think you would do differently?
- 43:03Yes, I will say, and I think I touched upon this a little bit
- 43:06earlier, I didn't get my master's degree until this past
- 43:11year. And so I did do some graduate
- 43:14level work in social work back when I got my undergrad degree,
- 43:18but, and I did get my certification in early
- 43:20education, but I never went and got an advanced degree because
- 43:24it was not required of me. And I think I had started to
- 43:28touch upon, you know, when we say like, you know, what has,
- 43:32what has been the hardest for you or, or what, you know, what
- 43:34if, what challenges have you faced professionally?
- 43:39You know, COVID really, really put things in perspective for me
- 43:43professionally. It, it required us, we, you
- 43:47know, we were in a mandatory shutdown for about 5 months.
- 43:50And when we were able to reopen, we had to reopen really under
- 43:54new guidelines in a new structure via, you know, the
- 43:58state of Massachusetts and what they were, were expecting of us.
- 44:01And we were about 16 years into the business at this point.
- 44:05And we had a pretty successful business model.
- 44:07But it really gave us a chance. And by us, I mean my, my mom,
- 44:13myself and my two sisters, we started having business meetings
- 44:17and it gave us a chance to really look at what we're doing.
- 44:21And my older sister, who is just full of wisdom, constantly said,
- 44:24you know, Adrian, you, you've been doing what works for so
- 44:28long. And so you don't fix what's not
- 44:31broken. But this is an opportunity for
- 44:33you to really look at your business model and really lean
- 44:37into the things that don't work and admit them to yourself,
- 44:40admit your shortcomings and, and, and lean into that and grow
- 44:45with it. And growth is really
- 44:46uncomfortable and it's going to, it's going to really stink to
- 44:49sit in this for a little while. But this is an opportunity for
- 44:53change and growth. And, and you should and you
- 44:55should take it. And I had soon after that seen a
- 45:00quote from my Angela that said, do your best.
- 45:04And once you know better, you need to do better.
- 45:06And so that's sort of what COVID was for me.
- 45:09It was a chance for me to look at my entire business model, top
- 45:12to bottom. And one thing I really
- 45:14recognized in myself is that maybe I wasn't the most
- 45:19effective leader. Maybe I wasn't, you know, maybe
- 45:22I wasn't up to par on the most current teaching practices.
- 45:27And, and just because I wasn't required to be, doesn't mean I
- 45:30shouldn't be. And I'll never, ever take the 16
- 45:33years back prior to COVID, because I do feel like we gave a
- 45:36really great high quality education to all the kids that
- 45:39came before COVID. But I do look at things a little
- 45:42differently now. And, and, and that's OK, But,
- 45:46but if I had, you know, my younger self in front of me, I
- 45:49think that's one of the biggest things I would tell her is keep
- 45:52growing. Don't ever stop growing and, and
- 45:54lean into that discomfort of saying like, you know, don't be
- 45:57so defensive. Don't be so quick to say like,
- 45:59yeah, but but we're successful. Who cares if you're successful?
- 46:02Are you doing the best job that you can possibly do?
- 46:05And and that's sort of, I think what sets some leaders apart
- 46:08from others. And so I just decided I, I want
- 46:11to be, you know, this is what I want to do.
- 46:13This is I want to keep giving the best possible product and
- 46:18the best possible opportunities, not only for these kids, but for
- 46:21employees, for families, for everyone across the board.
- 46:25I appreciate that we were able to loop back into that idea of
- 46:28leaning into growth. I, I know you'd mentioned that a
- 46:30few minutes ago and wanting to come back to that.
- 46:32So it was great that we sort of naturally came back to it.
- 46:35And this is something that I know as a father of two young
- 46:38boys that sometimes I struggle to find a way to teach them.
- 46:43You know, for example, my oldest boy is he's got some athletic
- 46:47skill. And so, you know, I'll hear him
- 46:49say things like, well, Dad, I'm already super good at soccer.
- 46:53And it's like, you know, I don't want to tell him that, you know,
- 46:56he's not. I, I, you know, I appreciate
- 46:58that confidence. It's like, yeah, like you're,
- 47:00you're doing a great job with soccer and there's always the
- 47:04opportunity to improve. And that's where I feel like my
- 47:08approach is maybe falling on mostly deaf ears.
- 47:12I don't know if you have any advice for me as a father in
- 47:16terms of like, you know, I I don't 100%.
- 47:19I don't want to make him feel bad about where his skill level
- 47:22is, whether it's in a sport or, you know, a particular subject
- 47:25in school or just, you know, sort of making friends or, or
- 47:29whatever it is. But I, yeah, I always want him
- 47:34to be looking for ways to improve, how to level up, you
- 47:37know, am IA little bit better, faster, stronger, wiser than I
- 47:41was yesterday kind of a thing. And any any thoughts and advice
- 47:45on that? Yeah, I think really it's about
- 47:48providing these kids with opportunities to both succeed
- 47:52and to fail. And when I say fail, obviously
- 47:55you don't want him to. You don't want to put him on an
- 47:57elite team where he's going to be completely out of place and
- 48:00say, see, I son, I taught you how to fail.
- 48:03It's not not like that. But.
- 48:05But, you know, maybe he is really good at soccer and maybe
- 48:08soccer comes naturally and maybe it's going to be years and years
- 48:11before he, you know, is challenged in that particular
- 48:16area of his life. But putting him in other
- 48:19opportunities where he might not be as strong and allow him to
- 48:22sort of sit in that. Oh, I'm not as, you know, I'm
- 48:26not as good at, you know, at guitar.
- 48:30You know, you have them in guitar lessons.
- 48:31I'm not as good at at music as I am at soccer.
- 48:35You're right. You're not.
- 48:36But that doesn't mean that we should give up on guitar and it
- 48:38doesn't mean that we should not, you know, try new things or try
- 48:43things that maybe don't come as naturally to you.
- 48:45And I think just giving them again, these opportunities to be
- 48:49successful and then maybe these opportunities to not be as
- 48:52successful and to be OK with that.
- 48:55And to to sort of recognize some of the my sister, my my OSA
- 48:59wisdom is sister said to me, ultimately your job, right?
- 49:04And this, this is as an early educator, but, but you could
- 49:07really apply this to parenting to your job.
- 49:10Your first and foremost job is, is that every child with them
- 49:13carries around an empty toolbox. And what our job is, is to put
- 49:18as many tools in that toolbox as possible.
- 49:21And these aren't tools that they might use today or tomorrow, but
- 49:24you know that we're for even five years.
- 49:26But if you give them the opportunity and put that tool in
- 49:29their toolbox and teach them things like empathy and
- 49:31compassion, and you know, someday they'll have that tool
- 49:36to pull out and say like, Hey, listen, I, I need to call upon
- 49:40this. I need to, you know, I need to
- 49:41be, I need to call upon positive self talk, You know, I need to
- 49:45call upon these skills that I might have learned in preschool
- 49:48that I haven't needed to use, but I need to use now.
- 49:50And, and, and we've done that by giving them the tools to do
- 49:55that. And so, so that's what I, you
- 49:57know, that that's what the best advice I can give you is to put
- 50:01him in, in situations where he's, he's got opportunities to
- 50:06succeed, opportunities to fail, and a lot of language around how
- 50:09to navigate those feelings. Yeah, it's one of the thing.
- 50:13And he and he has had been in those opportunities where he's
- 50:17he's really struggled, where he accidentally got put into the
- 50:20wrong league, where he's playing with kids who were, you know, a
- 50:22foot and a half taller than he was.
- 50:24And, you know, really struggling and, you know, trying to explain
- 50:29to him that, you know, these are opportunities for growth, that
- 50:34that's a speech that's probably lost on a lot of adults.
- 50:36You know who are I? Was just going to say that yes,
- 50:39I was just going to say that yes.
- 50:41Trying to explain it to a 10 year old is, you know, even more
- 50:44difficult when he's got, you know, tears coming down his face
- 50:46because his team just got hammered for, you know, the the
- 50:4912th time. But it, I, I think with a lot,
- 50:53as, with a lot of things, repetition, it is probably
- 50:57really important. You know, I, I'm sure that there
- 50:59were a lot of things that my dad, you know, said to me when I
- 51:02was younger that I rolled my eyes at or dismissed that, you
- 51:05know, after I heard it for the 1500 time, you know, and I'm
- 51:09getting a little bit older, like it finally started to sink in.
- 51:12And so that's, that's the approach I'm going to try to
- 51:14take is even if he's rolling his eyes and moaning and groaning
- 51:17every time I repeat some same things, I'm just going to keep
- 51:21doing it and hope that it it eventually filters through.
- 51:24Exactly. Keep doing it and and you know,
- 51:27I think and don't quote me on this, but I think you have to
- 51:31introduce a skill something like 27 times before you'll even
- 51:35consider using it. And so just think about that.
- 51:38You know, he needs to hear it and see it so many times in
- 51:41order for him to have that skill available to him.
- 51:44And so and, and a lot of times too, you know, coming off the
- 51:48soccer field and he's frustrated and he's and he's at an elevated
- 51:51high. His nervous system isn't ready
- 51:52to hear you say, good try, bud. You know, but in in an hour or
- 51:57two after he's, you know, gotten home and taken a shower and sort
- 52:01of cooled off and he and he's, you know, just plopped down on
- 52:04the couch to, you know, watch a program on TV.
- 52:06That's when you turn to him and say, you know what, today that
- 52:09must have been a really tough loss.
- 52:10But I want to tell you, you did something during this game that
- 52:12made me proud. You didn't give up.
- 52:14And, and you know, I think that's so important and, and
- 52:17point out a few of the things that he did during that time
- 52:20that made you proud and, and let him see that even though overall
- 52:24it was a loss, it it wasn't a loss.
- 52:26It was an opportunity for growth.
- 52:28And, and that's where, you know, that's where he's going to learn
- 52:32and and sort of take that skill with him, but he's going to have
- 52:35to hear it a whole lot, a whole lot.
- 52:38That's really good advice. Yeah.
- 52:40Thanks for that, Adrian. I want to shift gears now and I
- 52:42want to hear about your books. We mentioned one in the intro,
- 52:46no matter what. Maybe talk a little bit about
- 52:49what first inspired you to write a book at all.
- 52:54And then maybe let's give voice to a couple of the new books
- 52:58that are out now. Sure.
- 53:00So, you know, this goes back to something you were saying
- 53:04earlier about when Maddie first transitioned.
- 53:09We, we didn't have, we didn't really have a direction.
- 53:12You know, when our son got a diagnosis of autism, it actually
- 53:17was a bit easier than things were with Maddie, believe it or
- 53:20not. And and that's because, you
- 53:23know, autism spectrum disorder, it, it's got a lot of visibility
- 53:26and there's a very clear path. If you have a child that is
- 53:28diagnosed with autism, these are the steps that you take to get
- 53:31him help. And so it was a really clear
- 53:33path. These are the agencies you call,
- 53:35these are the the services they provide.
- 53:37This is, you know, this is where he'll get the skill set that he
- 53:41needs to to function and be, you know, well-rounded.
- 53:44And so that was great with Maddie.
- 53:46It's, you know, we're still figuring this out.
- 53:49There is no protocol. There is no, you know, this is
- 53:54how things are done in all of our research.
- 53:56This is what we found works best because we are the research.
- 53:59And so I felt really lost and alone for a couple of years.
- 54:04And for that reason, I decided with Maddie's permission that we
- 54:08would tell her story through a storybook.
- 54:11And, and it was really to, for written for families who find
- 54:16themselves in the position that we were in when Maddie was, you
- 54:19know, a young. And, and so we self published
- 54:23and printed off as many copies as we could.
- 54:27And we actually donated them to local pediatrician's office, to
- 54:30the gender unit at Children's Hospital.
- 54:33And that's where all of our proceeds have gone.
- 54:35They've gone right back into the project and, and into raising
- 54:39awareness and providing support to families with children who
- 54:44are struggling with their gender.
- 54:47And so that's, that's where the first book came from.
- 54:49And now in in quite a few of the blogs that I've written.
- 54:52And again, it was to tell our story so that it would be an
- 54:55easier path for other families. And Maddie has since done some
- 55:00interviews and, and she's done a few school trainings with, with
- 55:04teachers on how to, how to, you know, represent the community
- 55:08and how to be sensitive in schools.
- 55:10And, and she's done a lot of really great advocacy work.
- 55:13And, and I hope as she gets older, she continues to do that.
- 55:15But this is her path to figure out.
- 55:17But that's ultimately what inspired our our first book.
- 55:22So I had since written, I've since written two other
- 55:25children's books. They aren't out yet. 1 is in
- 55:28with Illustrator now and it is called The Curious Adventures of
- 55:35Missus Beasley, and it is about a preschool teacher and her 30
- 55:39years as a preschool teacher and the impact that that had on her
- 55:43students. And again, this was written
- 55:47really about raising awareness to early education and how
- 55:51important these years are and what an impact they can have on
- 55:54kids when they're provided with a strong early education
- 55:58environment. And then our other children's
- 56:02book, which will come out after that.
- 56:04I'm hoping The Curious Adventures of Mrs. Beasley will
- 56:07be out by the end of 2024. And shortly after, in 2025 is
- 56:13the book I wrote called Brendans Box.
- 56:15And it's about a little boy who is a neurodivergent, meaning
- 56:20that, you know, it doesn't talk about whether he has a diagnosis
- 56:23of any kind, but he's a, a kid that's a little bit different
- 56:26than all the other kids. And, and him trying to sort of
- 56:29find his way and where he fits because he doesn't follow the
- 56:33typical model of what's expected of kids.
- 56:36He, he, you know, he tries to play baseball and, and, and he
- 56:39doesn't like it and, and he tries out dance class and, and
- 56:42he doesn't like it. And, and he said, you know, what
- 56:45box do I fit in? I don't seem to fit into the box
- 56:47of any of these other children. And what does that mean for me?
- 56:49And it's sort of his journey to finding himself and really
- 56:54bringing awareness and acceptance to kids who are
- 56:57neurodivergent and allowing space for them.
- 57:01And will these two books also be self published?
- 57:04They will be self published through Amazon Publishing and
- 57:08both have different illustrators so each book will look a little
- 57:12bit different. My original book, No Matter What
- 57:14was illustrated by a good friend of mine, Jessica Charpentier,
- 57:18who was actually a teacher for many years at Be Curious and she
- 57:23was able to actually travel Maddie's journey with her as one
- 57:25of her preschool teachers. So it was important to me that
- 57:28she illustrate that book. It was a great project.
- 57:30I loved working with her on the Brendan's Box is being
- 57:35illustrated by a friend of mine who's also a family nurse
- 57:39practitioner and in works very closely with a lot of children
- 57:43who are neurodivergent. So I think this is a passion
- 57:46project for her and I'm excited for her to, you know, to to roll
- 57:50out her talents through illustration.
- 57:52And then I have I have a separate illustrator out of
- 57:57India who is doing my curious adventures of Missus Beasley,
- 58:01who is just about finished up. So I'm really excited to see,
- 58:05you know, what that looks like for us in the coming months.
- 58:09So for anybody who might be interested in getting their
- 58:12hands on a copy of either the first book or to be notified
- 58:17when and where they can get their hands on the second and
- 58:19third book, what would be the best way for that to happen?
- 58:23Sure. I have a a Facebook page where I
- 58:25always make public posts about anything that's happening in my
- 58:30author's world. You can always purchase no
- 58:32matter what on Amazon.com. And both of the new books, when
- 58:37they come out and are available, will also be available on Amazon
- 58:40and many other bookstores. Pick them up.
- 58:43I know we ended up on Barnes and Nobles and across many other
- 58:46platforms, but it will, it will. We'll start our journey on
- 58:49Amazon. OK, what's the Facebook page
- 58:52that you mentioned? Yep, my Facebook page is Adrian
- 58:56Keefe and Zelmo Make. Sure.
- 58:59That we put that in the show notes.
- 59:02And then how about just a general way for people to get in
- 59:05touch with you? Would it be that same Facebook
- 59:08page? Yes, absolutely.
- 59:10I've had lots of families reach out to me over the years,
- 59:12especially with neurodivergent kids.
- 59:15I, you know, I don't pretend to be an expert on that, but as a
- 59:20mom, I, I know sometimes it's you just, you want to hear I,
- 59:24that I see you and I hear you and I know how hard this is and
- 59:28you're not alone and everything's going to be OK.
- 59:31And so I'm, I'm always here. I'm here, you know, in any
- 59:35capacity that you know, people want to reach out and, and I'm
- 59:38excited about, I'm excited about the future in these books and,
- 59:42and everything that's ahead of us.
- 59:45What about a Facebook page for the child care center itself?
- 59:50Yes, you can also visit us on Facebook at To Be Curious
- 59:55Children's Earning Center. And again, like you had
- 59:58mentioned, we're located Boraca, Mass, and we love what we do.
- 1:00:04I can tell it comes through. Last question I have for you
- 1:00:08today, Adrian. How do you see your industry
- 1:00:11evolving in the next few years? What do you think the big
- 1:00:12changes are that are coming? You know, I think our industry
- 1:00:18is a bit at a breaking point. I, you know, I think our
- 1:00:21teachers are underpaid and underappreciated and I think the
- 1:00:25cost of childcare is, is at an all time high.
- 1:00:28And for this reason, I think it makes it a very hard balance
- 1:00:33finding ways to keep teachers in the industry and wanting to work
- 1:00:41and do this this hard and very important work while still
- 1:00:46keeping childcare affordable for families.
- 1:00:48And so I don't have answers to you about where we're headed,
- 1:00:52but I do think we're headed somewhere.
- 1:00:54And I hope that that somewhere is somewhere that considers all
- 1:00:59stakeholders. You know, the Department of
- 1:01:02Early Education and Care has been taking a lot of time and
- 1:01:05sending out a lot of surveys to to owners and directors.
- 1:01:08And so I think it's great that they're giving us a voice, but
- 1:01:11we'll have to see, you know, what they do with that
- 1:01:13information over the course of the next few years and and sort
- 1:01:17of see how it evolves. Terrific.
- 1:01:21Well, Adrian, I want to be the first one to thank you for
- 1:01:23sharing both your time and your story with us today.
- 1:01:26I I really appreciate it. Yes, like I said at the
- 1:01:30beginning of the interview, I really appreciate you taking the
- 1:01:32time to to bring some awareness to early education.
- 1:01:35We need to get away from from calling it daycare and really,
- 1:01:40really focus in on the important work that all people in this
- 1:01:45industry are doing. I think one thing I did not get
- 1:01:48a chance to, to say, you know, I, I said a special special
- 1:01:51thanks to my family, but I think it's important to acknowledge
- 1:01:55all the teachers that have worked for my facility and
- 1:01:57really work across the state to provide this important service
- 1:02:01because it it is tireless work. And we've had some really,
- 1:02:05really wonderful individuals who have have joined us and stayed
- 1:02:09with us through a lot. And I want to make sure that I
- 1:02:12acknowledge and thank them for, for, for everything, what
- 1:02:15they're doing day in and day out.
- 1:02:16I tell them this in person, but it's important to really say
- 1:02:19here as well. It's, it's such an important,
- 1:02:22important work. And I'm, I'm just so, so
- 1:02:25grateful for all of them. You know, I'm glad that you took
- 1:02:28a moment to to give respect and call them out because this is
- 1:02:33something that I agree with wholeheartedly.
- 1:02:35And I've heard from so many other childcare owners that, you
- 1:02:40know, these are such important formative years for our most
- 1:02:45treasured and valuable assets and our little kids.
- 1:02:47And there seems to be a bit of a disconnect, right, in terms of
- 1:02:54what we're able to pay them, you know, for helping our children
- 1:03:00through these, you know, incredibly important years and,
- 1:03:03you know, what they're worth. And, yeah, I've talked to lots
- 1:03:08of owners and lots of folks working at these centers.
- 1:03:10And nobody really has sort of a, you know, a silver bullet
- 1:03:14solution here because, you know, I mean, one answer would be,
- 1:03:18well, just, you know, you just raise tuition.
- 1:03:20Well, you know, there's a point where parents Max out on what
- 1:03:22they can afford. And so there's, you know,
- 1:03:25there's sort of this push and pull like, you know, how, how do
- 1:03:28we better compensate these folks who are doing such an amazing
- 1:03:32job with our children? And I don't know the answer to
- 1:03:36it, but I, I'm glad that you took a moment to call out and
- 1:03:39give respect to these people. It was one of the reasons why I
- 1:03:43was inspired to do a series specifically on childcare
- 1:03:47centers. You know, my kids were going
- 1:03:50through childcare centers themselves during the COVID
- 1:03:53years. And it really helps hammer home,
- 1:03:59not that I ever, you know, took them for granted, but, you know,
- 1:04:03as I saw them really struggle with sort of this bizarre
- 1:04:07reality that been thrust in front of them and everything
- 1:04:10that they were trying to do, from the teachers to the the
- 1:04:13owners themselves to bend over backwards to help families out
- 1:04:17and to to help our children. Just it really, it warmed my
- 1:04:21heart in a way that's difficult to put words to.
- 1:04:24And so, yeah, I'm, I'm glad that you took a moment to do that.
- 1:04:26Thank you. Yep, I completely agree with
- 1:04:29you. And, and, and you're welcome
- 1:04:31because again, I, I say it all the time, these teachers, the
- 1:04:35ones that are on the floor and with the kids, they're, they're
- 1:04:38the, the heartbeat of this industry.
- 1:04:41And so, yeah, thank you. Thank you so much.
- 1:04:45Absolutely, folks. That's a wrap on another episode
- 1:04:47of the Inspired Stories podcast. Thanks for learning with us
- 1:04:50today.