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Episode 324 - Pamela Witcherd's podcast · Pamela Witcherd's podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You know what? What I love about God is he's
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: a teacher. He teaches you so many things. Speaking of relationships, marriages, divorce,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: you know, it's all a part of life. It's a
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: part of growth, you know, and lessons. So my takeaway
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: is that love is unconditional. Until, of course, what the
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Bible talks about, abuse or, you know, adultery, you know.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So I definitely don't believe in neither one, neither one.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And so circumstances are that this is one of the
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: reasons why, you know, I move on. I don't tolerate
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: that because I'm not that type of person. I've never been,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: even as a teenager dating, I've never been that type
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: of a woman. So I wouldn't tolerate it from somebody else.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I know my worth, you know. And then when the
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Lord told me that I am, what did I say, wife,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm a wife. He made me a wife. So,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: of course, that hits different. You you know, like resound
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: off of your mind because you're realizing that God is
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: making you into this person. And then life experiences as well.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: He's putting you through life experiences. So whatever God says,
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  Speaker 1: solidify it. And then he told me, you know, I'm
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: a marriage counselor, you know, over 10 years ago. So
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: that's solidified. So I asked him, I was like, how
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: am I a marriage counselor when I'm not married? I
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: was divorced. So, you know, God is progressive revelation. You know,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: he speaks, but it's, you know, it could be future.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: So I said, okay, you know, I just go with
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: what he says. And I look at the world today
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: and how there are probably hardly not any marriages that are,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: you know, pretty much working or that looks like holy matrimony,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: looks like what God, holy matrimony, what he would accept. So...
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: My thing is that I think people move too fast.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: But sometimes, let me tell you this. I've been married.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I've been married most of my life, adult life. I've
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: been married. So it's not about any dating out there.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I haven't been out there in the dating scene. And
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I already heard stories and seen things. And I know
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: it's a, you know, it's a horror story. It's a,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: what do you call that, nightmare story. It is a nightmare.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So by the grace of God, I foreseen this. So
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: going through a divorce, I'm like, uh-uh, I ain't trying
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: to do that. But I'm not going to be respected.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be undervalued. I'm not going to
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: be mishandled. I know what I need from a man.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I know my worth. I know what I give. And
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: so that settles that. And you move on. And I just, like,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I never felt like there wasn't nobody. I never felt like,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I just felt like, you know, it's God's timing. His
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: timing is perfect, you know. He is a builder. He's
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: the master builder. And he builds people like he was
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: building me the whole time. You know, I was in ministry,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: you know, and I gave my life to the Lord.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: He was building me as a wife, making me wife material.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Then as I became a leader, he building me as
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: a marriage counselor. So look at the church today. It's
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: hardly none whatsoever marriages in the church. So God knows
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: exactly what he's doing. So I think like sometimes, like
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I was saying, get back to this, you know, people
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: moving too fast. Let me tell you, it's game out here.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you, God exposed the game to me.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: And so it's not like you move fast. It's like
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  Speaker 1: people are doing stuff that you ain't never seen before.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: When you're with somebody that is a part, you know,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that you, not you know, but the family knows and that,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: you know, have been there almost since, you know, you know,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: 30 years or more in the family, you know, off
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  Speaker 1: and on. There's something. level of trust there there's some
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: level of trust and then it's like you you deserve
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: to be able to you know come out and have
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: a nice time and do you know things without men
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: being so inappropriate and you know putting every woman in
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  Speaker 1: the same category you know lying you know um just just,
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  Speaker 1: just bad, just bad, uh, character, period. And, um, mishandling you.
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  Speaker 1: So it's like, I'm not no person moved from, from
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  Speaker 1: man to man, never was, never want to be. I've
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: always been a wife. So therefore, um, when things happen,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: it's some things that have been said to me that I, um,
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  Speaker 1: Respond to. You know what I'm saying. But when I
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: start seeing patterns. Or inconsistency. Then things change. You know.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: And then. You know. You give a person a chance.
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  Speaker 1: Because the fact of. The matter is that. You know.
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  Speaker 1: That that person. And see this is the thing people
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  Speaker 1: don't get. They don't get this. Because you know. You're
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  Speaker 1: not a pastor. You're not in a leadership role. God
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: puts us in people's life for reasons. It's not like
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: a regular, you know, person that's outside of the five-fold ministry.
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  Speaker 1: We talk about, I'm talking about leaders, that God bring
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: people across your path. And there's some things, some healing
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: and stuff that needs to be, the person needs, right?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: So you have to, you're on assignment. So as you're
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: on this assignment in this world, Your journey is to
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: reach souls for Jesus Christ. So he is the one that,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I'm his property. So if he allows a person to
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  Speaker 1: come into my life for a reason, then therefore, he
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: already knows the end game. It's not nothing but a coincidence. Now,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: the person refuses to help, that's different. You know what
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? When a person refuses to help, then you
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: move on and you go about your life But you
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  Speaker 1: never expect in this day and time, because I'm telling
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you the truth, I've seen it. It's not the first time.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: This is the second time. But both of them from
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: a narcissist. The person go back and try to make
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: you look like the bad person when you're just basically
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: doing or being you, being me, being Pam. So, you know,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I'm looking like or thinking like, you know, they got
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: to be... Something's wrong somewhere with them. Something is definitely wrong.
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  Speaker 1: When you haven't done anything, something is definitely wrong. But
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: what's going on, you cannot play church. Let me just
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: say it like that. And God is love. He just
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: goes to show me that even his enemies, he wants
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: them to be saved. And that's scripture. So when people
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: try to negate... or try to talk about how they
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: think things should be, they need to be quiet and
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  Speaker 1: mind their business because the thing of it is, first
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: of all, people's life, you know, when it comes to chosen,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: they always have to put out, try to put out
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  Speaker 1: stuff out there. You know what I'm saying? Then make
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: content and think there's somebody really paying them any attention
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: because I know you're trying to make content and get
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: money off a situation which is sad, sad, sad, sad.
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  Speaker 1: But you're doing it to yourself because God ain't used
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  Speaker 1: to nobody like that because that's nothing but gossip. So
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  Speaker 1: I'm a private person. But once I come out as
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  Speaker 1: a servant of God, you know, God has allowed things
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: to show things in my life for reasons. He has
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: his own reason. But he ain't told nobody to make
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  Speaker 1: no contact, try to make money off of my light
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: or my energy or my contact or anything. So that's
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: on you. And that's between you and God. And he
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: sees you. Believe me. And don't think because it ain't nothing...
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  Speaker 1: than took place now, you know, that he hasn't recorded
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  Speaker 1: this and there's no consequences for it because nobody's life
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  Speaker 1: is supposed to be constantly, you know, talked about or
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: gossiped about every day. And that hate that they still
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: have there makes me no difference because I'm unbothered because
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: God said it would be so. And I've already seen
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: who you are over 10 years ago. So, you know,
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  Speaker 1: I already knew people don't change unless Jesus Christ himself
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: changed them. That's just the way society is today. I
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  Speaker 1: hear people coming back after the fact saying, okay, I'm authentic.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: So now all of a sudden everybody's authentic. You know,
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  Speaker 1: I just like the shenanigans. I'm over it. I've been
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  Speaker 1: over it. Because it's like they must think everybody is
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  Speaker 1: a dum-dum or foolish, you know, have no brains because
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  Speaker 1: ain't nothing happening like that. And you're not even in Christ.
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  Speaker 1: I see you. I see your lifestyle. And so anyway,
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  Speaker 1: past that. The men need to, they should step up.
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  Speaker 1: Because nobody wants nobody, a real woman, a man in
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  Speaker 1: the background, looking in the background, peeping over all your content,
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  Speaker 1: watching you, looking at your pictures. But they have interest
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  Speaker 1: and they don't step forward. Back in the day, in
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  Speaker 1: the 90s, the men were more courageous. They were more honest,
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  Speaker 1: more forthcoming. They weren't perfect, but they were more, how
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  Speaker 1: can I say, gentlemen, outspoken, deliberate. And then if you
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: turn them down, they would, like, yeah, come up with
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  Speaker 1: something else, you know, or they'll crack a joke. And
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  Speaker 1: that was fine, because they engage in it and make
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  Speaker 1: it seem like they're really interested. But now everybody seems like,
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  Speaker 1: not everybody, but most men, like they're fearful of rejection.
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  Speaker 1: First of all, fear is not of God. So that
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  Speaker 1: turns me off. You're fearful of what? You know, this
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  Speaker 1: is a part of life. This is how God made you.
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  Speaker 1: He didn't make us women to come to you. He
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  Speaker 1: made you men to come towards us. And that's how
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  Speaker 1: it should be carried out. You know what I'm saying?
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  Speaker 1: And that's how it was more effective. The men were
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  Speaker 1: more effective and desirable. in that day, because, you know,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: that they coming with some substance, so, yeah, this, um,
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  Speaker 1: technology has messed up a lot of stuff, especially the
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  Speaker 1: dating scene, I don't believe in dating, because, like I said,
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  Speaker 1: I never really dated, because I've been married, I've been
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  Speaker 1: a wife, you know what I'm saying, for a long time, um, so,
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  Speaker 1: I already knew the dating system thing was going to
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: be horrific, and, um, I'm not with it. I'm not
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  Speaker 1: with it. I have a lot of faith in God,
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  Speaker 1: and I know that God is a center person when
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  Speaker 1: he desires a center person. You know, I don't chase.
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  Speaker 1: I ain't never chased. So what I'm going to change now,
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  Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. I've never chased. You chase a man, that
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  Speaker 1: doesn't even sound right. You know, I'm old school, period,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm a pastor, so I don't believe in that.
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  Speaker 1: And then why would God going to bless me I'm
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  Speaker 1: constantly out there dating like a, looking, you know, chasing,
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  Speaker 1: hunting like a man. No, no, no, no. That's not happening.
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  Speaker 1: So just like Boaz and Ruth. Boaz, he stepped towards Ruth.
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  Speaker 1: And that's the way that the, I want to say
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  Speaker 1: the game of life, that's the way it's supposed to go, continues.
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  Speaker 1: The Lord, the men changed it. God didn't change it.
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  Speaker 1: So we have different men today than we had back then.
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  Speaker 1: But we still have some. You know, real strong, upstanding men.
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  Speaker 1: You know, upstanding, yeah, men. You know, and so, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: just a little bit about myself. I'm just not, I'm
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  Speaker 1: not for the games. I'm not all about the dating
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  Speaker 1: from one person to the next person to the next
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  Speaker 1: person to the side. I know what I want. You
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  Speaker 1: know what you want. The men that I was married to,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I dated them. And then they courted me And then
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I got married. It wasn't like I dated them. I
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: dated somebody else. Then I fell back. We broke up
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: and then we got back together. This mess right now
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  Speaker 1: ain't nothing but a setup. That's all it is. It
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  Speaker 1: was a setup. But God used it for his glory.
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  Speaker 1: God used it as a lesson for me. Learning. Put
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: yourself first because they're not going to be invested as
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: much as you think they are. You always put yourself first.
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  Speaker 1: And to see the spirit of the narcissist, to see
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  Speaker 1: the spirit of the man, see how far they go
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  Speaker 1: and see the demons that are inside of them, that
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  Speaker 1: they've been bowed down to them being as they have
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  Speaker 1: not submitted to the Lord Jesus Christ. And that's the
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: main thing, you know, that people got to get that.
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  Speaker 1: Because they talking to you, blah, blah, blah. They're all charming.
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  Speaker 1: You know, they wooing you. They're real sociable. But they're
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: full of demons. And they don't want to denounce Satan.
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  Speaker 1: Islandated too. So I already know what's going on with them.
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  Speaker 1: So I thank God for the lesson. And that, like
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I said, permanent removal from my life because I'm not
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: entertaining no demons. In Jesus' name.