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3 Things Which Will Determine Whether You Achieve Your Goals · Total Barnage

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Total Barnage.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today is going to be a good, nice, actionable episode.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: A few questions to ask yourself about three things that will determine whether you have success in the changes that you make in your life and the goals that you want to achieve.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to keep this short and sweet.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know I say this sometimes on these episodes and it drags on, but I'm going to try and keep it as concise as possible because the most important thing, hopefully, that you take away from this is that action is better than any sort of theory beyond a certain point that you can have.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of the time we delve into and get absorbed in the world of theory and optimal training plans, and you know, what is the greatest rep range for me?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: What is the best diet that I can follow?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: What is the best way that I can spend my time?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of the times we sit in this world of theory and try and achieve perfection when we are so much better off just giving something a go, contributing something, getting out for a walk, uh not undoing your goals by messing about too much on the weekend.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and literally a lot of it just comes back to a reminder of exactly what you need to do to achieve your goals and then putting it into action.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: We're looking at progress, not perfection here, and over a long period of time, as long as you stay consistent, uh, as long as you do the right thing more often than not, then you will get to where you want to go.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing out of the three, the first thing is priorities.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is simply asking yourself, is the thing that I want to achieve, is it a priority at the moment?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is it going to take precedence over something else in my life?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we might have, you know, our priority list might look like um family, relationships, work, and the health and fitness might come in there.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I firmly believe that this is something that you know I've been told growing up, is look after number one.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's what my dad has always said to me.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: He said, You've got to look after number one, you've got to look after yourself first, and then you'll be able to look after other people better and show up better in the world.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's a reason why on an airplane, if it goes down, you put your oxygen mask on first yourself.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you might say, Well, I can you know I can hold my breath and then put it on someone else first and then and then myself afterwards.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: But if we look into the day-to-day, you know, how much energy are you going to keep giving to other people if you don't invest in yourself primarily?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that is the ultimate thing is give yourself the permission to put yourself as a priority first, contribute something to your goals daily, and you'll be able to show up better for others.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, priorities are revealed in your actions, it's not what you say.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the difficulty that we kind of come to blows with when we have periods of high inspiration and high motivation.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: We might have seen something online or had a conversation with someone, and it sparks our interest to be like, Oh, I'm gonna go and make this change in my life, or I'm gonna go and I'm gonna go and read all of those books, or I'm gonna see all of those friends, and I'm gonna go and catch up with all of these people, whatever it might be.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're talking about those priorities in that sense, you're like, I'm gonna make this a priority in my life, it really doesn't matter unless you put it into action.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can have a reflection practice each week and have a look and say, you know, how did I actually spend my time?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: If someone had a look and I couldn't justify exactly what was, you know, why I spent my time the way I did, what would what kind of person would they assume that I am?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, you know, someone looking into your life, there's there are a lot of things that you can you can justify for why things are going a certain way, which is absolutely fair enough.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the key is looking at your priorities being revealed in your actions.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: One of these things can be to look at your default settings, which is what do I resort to?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if your priority is to be healthier, uh, is to maybe lose body fat, gain muscle, uh, or just you know, increase your cardiovascular fitness, let's say it's on the nutrition side, is when you get stressed, when you've had a busy day, when people have started to annoy you and you're a bit agitated, what do you resort to in those moments?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And this is really what is going to determine whether you're going to stick to it consistently because it's a lifestyle change, whatever you want to, whatever you want to achieve.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And changing your default settings is much more important than smashing a really hard session when you're highly motivated, or doing something really intense for a week and then giving up after that.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And because your default settings is that's your that's your bottom line.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's your flaw and and your foundation.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can change your foundation, everything else is going to build off of that.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So the key is awareness, is noticing when you are in those situations of maybe you know negative emotions, frustration, tiredness, what is the thing you reach for?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Is it your phone?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Is it you know crisps, chocolate?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is it sitting on the sofa?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you respond for you know with stress with right, let's get a little workout in, let's do some stretching, let's go to the gym, let's go out on a walk or go out on a run, or let's predicate it on the fact that you would have planned beforehand, which is also really important, and let's make sure that I stick to my nutrition despite feeling the way that I feel.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so those default settings is really the is the bottom line, is the is the consistent, sustainable determinant of whether you are going to uh enact this as your new lifestyle.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that we hear a lot at the gym is I don't have time for it, I don't have time for this right now.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And they you know, someone will say how busy, busy their life is, which you know, there may be a lot of truth in that, but I don't have time for it is really just another way of saying it's not a priority at the moment, which isn't a judgment, it's not good or bad, uh it is just that's just how it is.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not a priority at the moment, then that's okay.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to achieve something, a desired physique or a desired training routine, and most of the time it is outcome-based.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if there is something that you want to achieve, but you don't want the or can't do, like physically can't do the things that are going to achieve those goals, you're not going to do and live the lifestyle, then, and this is what James Clear says, he's got a big book, Atomic Habits, goes through um a lot of the things which which will determine about habit change.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things he says is that if you don't want to do something, if you want the outcome but not the process and the lifestyle that comes with it, you know, if you want to if you want to be a millionaire, but you're not willing to do the work and the hard hours and take risks, you know.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a millionaire, I don't know what it takes to become a millionaire.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows in the future, right?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: But if you look at that and you say, well, okay, I want to run 20 minutes for a 5k, but you're not willing to run more than a couple of times a week, or not willing to train and do a bit of strength work and be consistent with it, then you want the outcome about the process, and you're better off releasing yourself from the desire of the outcome than sticking with it.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because all that's gonna happen, if you are continually comparing yourself to an ideal that is not gonna happen because you're not gonna do the work to get there, then that comparison is just gonna create a massive disconnect within yourself because there is a person that you think you should be, and there is a person that you are now, and there's always gonna be a distance between those two people.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself this question is am I actually willing to do what it takes to achieve this goal?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to commit to the process and be the type of person to achieve this goal?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, if I'm genuinely wanting to spend my time doing something different, then do that.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: But constantly comparing yourself to an ideal that will never be fulfilled will leave you permanently disappointed.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: As I've just touched upon, being the type of person to do something, this is the second part, which is identity.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So there's priorities, and this is identity, and this is the key of habit change.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if you read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and it is something which I've managed to hijack in my setbacks and injuries and the way I want to train and the things that I want to achieve, with goals being very different at different parts of the process, is the easiest way to create a sustainable habit is to create an identity-based habit.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of having a look at what it takes to do something, it is who is the type of person that is going to achieve this.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Who is the type of person that is going to achieve a fitness goal in the long run?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say, you know, might be a 25-minute or a 20-minute 5k, wherever you're at, it might even be a 30 or 35-minute 5k.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, who is who is the type of person and what are the actions that they're going to take?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a key thing, and it's the toughest thing, really, is you're going to have to let go of a previous version of yourself.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, example, 25-minute 5k.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I am, I've decided now because I'm going to achieve it in a couple of months' time, or I want to achieve it in six weeks.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let's keep it a little bit more specific.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to achieve this in six weeks.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm currently running 26 minutes for the 5k, for example.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I am deciding that I am now the person that is going to achieve it and I am going to make efforts to do my best to achieve this goal.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, everything then, if it's a priority of mine, everything between now and when I achieve that goal has got to contribute to that end goal in some way.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm starting to feel demotivated and I don't want to go out on my runs, I have to remind myself well, hold on.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I am someone that is becoming the person that is able to run a 25-minute 5k.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I need to act in accordance with that person, and it's just the small wins, and this might look like you know, maybe I'm not there yet, but what will determine my success is if I contribute something to it.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: So acting in alignment with the person that you want to be, because at some point you will become this person, and there's just this incremental change day to day of you in that process of becoming with that new personality trait or that new embodiment of values, and it doesn't mean completely you know changing yourself, this is probably more so on the view of like becoming the person that you feel most comfortable with.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is why we want to achieve these goals.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Is there is there is something to be said for using maybe shame as a motivator, but I think it's you know looking at the emotional response, like what is the life we want to live, what is the impact we want to have, and you are almost in the Michelangelo sense of David, you have the the marble and you are just chipping away and revealing who you really are and who you really want to be through editing and through those slight changes.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, the toughest thing about this is the resistance that you have with letting go of a previous version of yourself with identity.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: If I, for example, you know, I'm trying to get back from from lots of injuries at the moment.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: My main aim is I want to be the type of person that is consistent with my training and makes the right decisions in terms of in relation to the goal.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the goal at the moment is just to be pain-free.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, previously, I my goal would have been to be as fit as possible, to make the most of the situation of being injured, and to be as fit as possible when I come back from injury so that I can slot back into whatever running I would like to do.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, because I've been injured for almost three years, the priority is truly just to be pain-free moving.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the the result of that priority is that I have to let go of the goal and the goal of me being as fit as possible.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have to train less and focus on just moving pain free day to day and give up a little bit of my give up a bit of my fitness and to allow myself to be unfit.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as someone that would want to be as fit as possible a lot of the time, this is a temporary letting go of a previous version of myself.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now that will have resistance, and the resistance that comes with that will be day to day, I might say, Oh well, you know, just get on get on the elliptical, go and you know, go and rip a session and make get your heart rate up and make yourself feel a little bit better, get out a little bit of the frustration.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: But the the trade-off that is has come with just trying to prioritize being pain-free is that I've got to be careful with the things that are gonna negatively impact um the recovery of the injury.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it's that constant resistance of constant resistance of the person that you previously were, or the person that you think you are now, and the mold that you are taking shape of.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the more that you can be aware of that resistance about how old habits come about, that interference, the the better you will be able to reset, be present, and to align exactly what you want with your priorities day to day.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's identity.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: The last one I want to talk about is expectations.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Expectations are really, really important and uh a fundamental part of the brain.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Our brain is a prediction machine built over thousands of years of evolution, has been programmed to help us survive, to see threats, to engage with other people, to create social connections, uh and all of the rest of it.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So there's massive importance of expectations in day-to-day life, and with the brain being a prediction machine, there are going to be predictions that might be wrong with expectations.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is a prediction error, this is basically a mismatch in the in the brain, and after there is a prediction error, for example, let's say that you hope that a presentation will go a certain way, and it doesn't go a certain way, it goes worse than you thought, there will be anywhere between mild irritation to massive anger at the disappointment of how the presentation went.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: In the same way in our gym journey, expectations guide how compliant we are and how consistent we are with the training.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: If we expect things to be easy, then as soon as things get difficult, there's going to be a massive gulf between the expectations and the reality.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And some some gulf, you know, some little bit of difference might give you the motivation to push harder.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're like, right, I want to lean into the discomfort.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is tough.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is a bit tough than I expected, but this is the thing that is going to get me better.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: But if there is a complete different one, like, oh well, what I didn't expect it would be, you know, I'd be sore after some sessions, and I'm not willing to put up with things being sore, then that's when the expectations are very different and a bit too far away from reality, and you might find yourself just giving up entirely.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So the best way that either you can go about it by um it's like letting go of your expectations, having no expectations.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but expectations do provide good fuel uh because it drives interest as well in the in the pursuit, but you can let go of expectations completely, and that's an ideal situation.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's great, you just do it purely based on the process.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is just about enjoying the thing that you're doing and enjoying the process.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably not the most viable thing, especially if you're starting out, and so I think the best side to go go to is to expect things to be difficult, expect yourself to feel demotivated on the process, and especially going into winter, it's expecting it to be harder in winter, and expecting you to do something that you've never done before.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is the the key, really, because if you expect it to be easy, Guy has a different view on this.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Guy says, you know, expect expect it to be easy is more so just comparing it to the diff most difficult thing that you've done.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you say, Well, it's actually not that hard.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for a lot of us, like this might be the hardest thing you've you've done to really change your habits in in your life and to to do something that you've never done before can be the most difficult thing.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's the best to expect things to be difficult because what happens when it is actually difficult is that it matches your expectations, and you go, Well, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is what and it's recognizing what people talk about by oh, okay, this is demotivation, this is labelling the emotion and saying this is not outside of the process, this is the exact process that I should be following.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: One other thing, and this is what I'll leave leave you on, is factor setbacks into the process.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: So expect things to go wrong, and this is when you won't be deal railed completely by things going wrong.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you expect things to go smoothly, and there is a mismatch in your expectations, then you're gonna be seriously disappointed, and there's a chance that you give up without reminding yourself that this is just a blip, this is just a bump in the road, you'll be like, Well, I don't want this.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this comes back to do you want the actual process?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because the process of change is uncomfortable, it is difficult, and the process of trying to be consistent at something over a period of time, you are going to run into days that you don't want to do it, you're gonna run into circumstances that are out of your control, you're gonna run into people challenging your priorities, judgment from social groups, previous friends, current friends, whatever.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: There is gonna be some things which are going to be out of your control and maybe not how you saw things going.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, factor setbacks into the process.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it goes back to what are your default settings, what is the thing that you can do, what is your minimum standard, and what is the things that you resort to do.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And also, the more you pay attention to unmet expectations day-to-day, the more you'll realize that your expectations get dashed pretty much all the time.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're deliberately trying to make predictions, if you are gambling and you're making all these predictions, you're gonna realise that you're gonna lose a load of bets.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you might play little fun games about how the when the lights are gonna change, and you're trying to predict when the lights are gonna change, and anything, you know, if things are gonna be on time, and you realize that the world is filled with just uncertainty, and the more that you can expect uncertainty and recognize it and see, well, this is just how it is, this is part of the process, this is what it takes, the better off you are for it.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, three questions to ask yourself to wrap up this episode.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Haven't done too bad.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: 21 minutes in.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: First one is is this a priority of mine?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And when it doesn't go to plan, what do I resort to?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Next question's how do I think this will go?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, is this how it's supposed to be?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or is this not part of the process?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is this an injury or is this just an ache and pain?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Am I really overstretching or am I just feeling a bit demotivated and can I just contribute something?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then the final one the identity, which is what does a person X look like or act like?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: What does a healthy person do?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: What does someone who is trying to achieve something need to do?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe pointing it back to yourself and reflecting and saying, if someone, if there was a camera crew that was doing a documentary on my life and they're following me around 24-7, what kind of person would people assume that I am through my actions?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to this episode.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Kept it nice and short and sweet.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh hopefully this keeps you on track and allow you to realign with anything that you want to achieve this winter.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and actually a lot of this stuff is hopefully it will lend you to enjoying the process a little bit more and making it a little bit easier uh in the long run.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: More difficult, maybe in the short short term, especially with the identity stuff and and priorities and being brutally honest with yourself, but in the long run, it should make things a little bit smoother as you go through those setbacks and different circumstances that you cannot predict.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um thank you for listening.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh drop me a message of you know what you would like to see next if you enjoy these nice little episodes.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I shall see you in the next one.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're recording a QA from some questions from our PT clients, and so the whole gang will be back together.