Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Bill Burke - Visualization, Fatherhood, and Personal Growth

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Bill Burke - Visualization, Fatherhood, and Personal Growth · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad's show.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Hey everybody, this is Casey Jaycox and welcome to season five.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: I'm very excited for this episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: I'm also very excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor to the podcast our friends Lauren Jones and Rob Mann over at Leap Advisory Partners.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: I could not be more excited and thrilled that you're going to be sponsoring this for the next 13 weeks.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Let's hear a little bit more about what you guys are doing from Lauren.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Leap Advisory Partners is proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Our first core value is empathy, always, and that's why we're proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast for the most authentic discussions around failure, success, leadership, empathy, leading with empathy.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: If you're not familiar with Leap Advisory Partners, we are your technology partners to help you build with excellence, change your process and adopt your most important investment.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Now let's get to today's episode with Casey Jaycox.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: We're in season five and you now see me, which is we got video and this is new and the person you see on the other side.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: You might not recognize him.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I do, because he is going to be the first guest in QB Dadcast history to be interviewed twice, and one of the reasons I wanted to wanted Bill Burke to come on not because he's a great guy, great dad, a great athlete we're letting him play some uncle Rico stories with some Michigan state stuff but, um, bill, and his first episode we talked about, one of his goals was was writing a book.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Well, everybody here she.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Well, everybody here she is Victory outside the arena.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I read it.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: It's fantastic.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I think, as a former athlete, former quarterback in college as well, that you know when you leave college sports, you get defined sometimes by that role.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Or when you leave a corporate job, you could be defined by that role or whatever it may be.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: And I think he gives great advice on how athletes can go from being, he says, isolated to inspired, once the applause begins to fade.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: We're going to dive into that.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: We're also going to dive into how this process impacted his dad and we're going to also have him tell some stories, but without further ado.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Mr Bill Burke, welcome back to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: So great to be here, casey.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: I'm honored to be the first repeat dad on the show, but always good to connect with you as a former quarterback and, of course, somebody that's obsessed with personal development and reaching his full potential.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: I'm honored to have another great conversation with you.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you bet man Well cool.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: Well, we always start each episode with gratitude.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: You know I am constantly trying to drill down to the little things and you know, just being grateful and present in the moment when one of my kids actually refers to me as dad.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: I think we take that term and that title and that responsibility for granted sometimes, for granted sometimes, and so I'm really trying to just kind of pause for a second and appreciate and let that sound of that word resonate in my brain, because it won't be that way forever.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: You know, my kids are growing at an exponential rate and they'll be out of the house in a few years and you know those moments will be fewer and far between.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: So just being able to be able to call, to be called that as a, as a responsible individual, is such a blessing and an honor.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: And then just, you know, really focusing on the sound of my kids' voice and the times that we get to spend together, just so grateful for it.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: You know, my wife and I went away for a couple of days, just a couple of days ago, to celebrate our anniversary and when we came back you could just see the appreciation and the love that our kids had for us and the happiness that they have in seeing us return, you know, and that just really made me feel great and it brought me back to you know why I wanted to have kids in the first place, which is, you know, to create a legacy, to be able to teach what I've learned and then to have that connection to something or somebody greater than myself.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: So I'm just grateful for them.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Love it, man.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: Well, I am grateful A couple things.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: One I'm grateful today my daughter and I I had kind of a busy morning and then I had a gap between like a couple hour gap and she and I walked, uh, we drove, we drove up this or we live on the bottom of this Hill.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: So I drove up the Hill, parked the car and we walked, walked Starbucks, and then we walked to the the uh little car shop Cause my car was getting fixed and uh, drove back and just like that one-on-one time with her.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Um, we're also going to all be rebounding her, rebounding for her, here.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Once this episode's over we'll go outside.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: That's like my one-on-one time with her.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: But I'm also grateful.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: I have eight days left, though, with my son before he goes off to college and uh, and it is uh, it's starting to hit me, man about just like.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, I remember when Ryder was my son.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Ryder was in my, in the baby Bjorn.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: I remember, at two years old, learning how to play golf, and now he's going to go play golf in college and, you know, hopefully it's a great experience for him.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: But I'm just grateful for that time because, dads, if you're listening at home, man, that clock does not slow down, it just continues to speed up.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: And I cannot believe I have a freaking about to have a college freshman.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: And when I say that, I literally see myself rocking a jockstrap and a shimmel shirt, getting ready to go play against these massive dudes in college football.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: And then now my son's going to be that guy without, hopefully, a jockstrap and a shimmel shirt.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Golf course that might not be the appropriate tire, but man, it went by fast.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: So I'm just grateful for these last few days I get with him and appreciate the fact that they, as much as they give me a hard time and bust my balls and make fun of me, but I know they they love me and they we laugh and joke and you hope that when they get done they're going to want to come back and hang with mom and dad.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: That we're uh, we still like to have fun and get crazy and have fun and do fun stuff.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: So I'm grateful for that time that I got because, man, it's going by fast.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Man, that's awesome and I just have to say congratulations, because it's no small feat to you and your wife to get your son to that point and wow, what an opportunity.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: And I just I feel for you.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I thought my time was coming fast, but I still got a few more years.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine what it would be like to have your son or daughter going off to school just eight days from now.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Any advice or tips that you would give me, being somebody that's a dad and is still a few days or a few years out from having that same experience that you're about to have just in under a week, for me, man, I think you, just you keep learning the journey you know to stay present.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: I think we'll dive into one of the things that you're going to talk, one of the stories we'll ask you about Saban, about um, which, who you played for at Michigan state.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: But like the little things, I mean, I, I the, I sometimes did stress over the little things and sometimes probably too much at times, but I also am grateful I did, because I think it helps create good human beings and little things do become big things.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: And so, whether it's you're late, whether I asked you to do dishes you didn't do them, whether, um, you know just the little life lessons.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And then I think, from a sports perspective, I just keep reminding my kids that dad has no eligibility left.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I wish I could play, but I don't, and so I'll help, I'll help inspire you, coach, you push you, but uh, I'm not gonna do the work, um, and you know, just, I, I just, I see so many parents get wrapped up and like they want it so bad for them.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: But like I'm, just like I want you to be successful, I don't want to see you fail, but, um, you got to put in the work, just like you did at Michigan state, just like I did at central Washington.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, you know, adversity is when you go through it it.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: I know you have stories about adversity, so do I like that?
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: That's what shapes you and it sucks to go through it, but, like I think parents, sometimes we, we like to rescue our kids from the struggles, but that's where I think the growth is.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: And I remind myself often, like my son went through a little slump out of the blue in golf and I was like, oh my God, this timing sucks.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: But I'm like, or maybe it doesn't, maybe it's a great thing he's going to want to and he's been grinding his ass off all week trying to figure it out.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I don't know.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, shoot, I'm, I'm learning, just like every dad out there.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: So I'm not the best person to always give advice, but I like to.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: The advice I do like to give is usually when my own failures or struggles, so people don't hopefully have to make the same mistakes I did.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: That's awesome, that is awesome.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Well, so you're now an author man.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: How does that sound?
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: It's pretty cool.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: I think it's that athletic mentality where I'm always looking to the next play or the next thing or the next mountain to climb.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it's important and I've got to get better at it.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: It's just pausing every once in a while to kind of appreciate how far I've come.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: And you, being an author as well, you can appreciate the grind that goes into writing a book.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: It took me two years.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know how long it took you, but in between life and everything else, it was certainly a challenge.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: And you know I had to call upon some of the things that I learned as an athlete to get through the writing process, because you know there were many, many days where I didn't feel like writing.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: I was waiting to be inspired.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: You know that's really the fun part of writing, but that doesn't always come.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: So you've got to commit yourself to putting the time on your calendar and make it a daily discipline, which I had to do sometimes.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: And then you know, at the end just kind of realizing that done is better than perfect, and I had to cut a lot of things out.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: And of course, now that it's published, there's all sorts of things that I would have changed or done differently.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: But I think you know I go back to the reasons why I wanted to write it in the first place, which were to leave a legacy, to help other people reach their dreams, to do something greater than myself, to show my kids that I can be the example in terms of doing great things Before I even started writing the book.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: I don't even know if you've heard this statistic, but I think the New York Times did a study that 80% of the people in the world actually believe they have a book inside of them, but less than 1% of the people actually write it number one and then, number two, put it out into the world.
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: So I wanted to be in that 1%.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: That was a huge motivator for me, because we, as athletes, we've been trained and we kind of get addicted to things like things that are hard, things that not everybody can do.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: I think that's part of the attraction, and so I certainly wanted to be in that club.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: Well, I love it, man, and you're spot on.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I think my writing process was probably a little bit easier than yours because I wrote it when I took a break from corporate.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: So for me I definitely wrote every day.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: That was the best advice, one of the best piece of advice one of my former clients shout out to you, bobby Robinson gave me and she said just write.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I don't know what to write about.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: She said just write every day.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: So literally from nine to 1130, when I was in my kind of a sabbatical, I just wrote.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: And some days I thought, oh my God, this is awesome, that sucked.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: And there was like, oh my God, this sucks, and it's.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, it is nice to prove to people out there that people who play football can't put sentences together, and we're not as dumb as we look you know, joking aside, but it is no joke to write in a book, it's.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: The editing process was tough.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: I mean, just like we got coached in film room.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: You got to get coached by people who are like, what is this?
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Why did you write that?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, you're just super critical and got to check the ego and take it and they're they're they're coaching you hard because they want you to get the message out in a way that speaks to you but also to others.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Well, there's so much I loved about this.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: I think one of my favorite things I wrote about it is just the research you did, and I also love the quotes that you did to start each chapter, and there's a Marcus Aurelius quote that I don know if you saw this, but I actually tagged you on LinkedIn when I was about a about a month ago or a month and a half ago.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I was part way into the book and I was like, oh my god, I'm digging this and I finished it when I was on vacation because I wanted to make sure I read it before I had you back on.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: But maybe just talk about the the journey of writing a book with a job as a dad.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: I think you probably still maybe I don't know if you're still coaching your son in football, but, like, talk about the, the, the lessons learned along the way and and what it.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: You know just a little bit more about the process that might speak to us, maybe a dad or someone else at home, that's.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: That's thinking about doing this, but maybe hasn't quite started.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a big question and the answer is probably even bigger.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: You know it's.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: It was really difficult.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: I've got a home office here and usually the door is open, you know, and, uh, you know, with the wife and two kids, um, you know, they show up with questions and they need data at certain times and so it's tough to isolate myself or it was and really just bear down and get some writing done.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: But at times that's really what I needed to do and I understood, and they understood that.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: You know, dad is trying to do something great here.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: But again, going back to what we were talking about earlier, I also don't want to miss those little mundane moments of my kids needing me to do certain things for them.
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: That might seem like an interruption, but in the grand scheme of things, I want to be able to be available to do those things for them.
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: But I think it's also important for them to see me kind of, like I mentioned, grinding on something day in and day out and building those daily disciplines to accomplish the thing.
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: That might take years, which it did, and so I think now um them understanding and seeing the, the product, uh, come to fruition after all that work, when they didn't really understand maybe what dad was doing was kind of a cool thing.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: So, um, yeah, very difficult to write it in between life, um, in between uh, work, in between you know, all those other things that, uh, we all try and do and all those plates that we try and keep spinning at the same time.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: But again, I was committed to it and it became a kind of a question of not am I going to get this done, it's just a question of when it's going to get done.
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: And I really challenged myself mentally and had to fight myself and battle myself mentally to get it done.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: But there were a couple of tips and tricks that I used to kind of propel my progress.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: You know, I really at the beginning of this I read a lot of advice from authors and people that coach people to be authors and everybody said don't create the cover, don't do any of that stuff.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: You know that comes at the end Follow this process.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: But for me, what really got me going is I actually created the book cover first.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: I enjoy the design aspect of it, so I got into Canva online.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: I created the book cover and that really inspired me, that put a smile on my face and that got me to write every single day because I would look at that and I would see the manifestation of what I was trying to accomplish visually.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: So that was one trick that I really used to kind of get me going.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: And then also I thought about you know how cool it would be to have my old coach, who is now a legend, most considered the greatest of all time, in Nick Saban, how cool would it be to have a blurb from him on the front cover.
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: And I put that in my book design that I looked at every day.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: I hadn't asked him yet, hadn't even spoken to him in years.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: I just kind of visualized what that was going to look like and that really got me motivated each and every day to put in the work.
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: And the person, ironically, that I learned how to do that from and push aside my feelings and create my own personal standard, which was much more important than how I was feeling that particular day, was Nick Saban.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: So it all kind of came together and inspired me and pushed me forward, because without those lessons that I learned on the gridiron, I don't know that I would have gotten this book to the finish line a powerful playbook for the game of life.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Nick Saban, seven time national champion, head coach, not a bad guy to be endorsing a cover of a book.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: So I love that you use visualization Before we record.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: We talked about that.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think, as a quarterback and I'm sure that you probably, on Tuesday, knew the first play of the game against.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: You know whoever you're playing Indiana, penn state, michigan game against.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: You know whoever you're playing indiana, penn state, michigan.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: And then you'd see it tuesday, you'd practice.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: You'd see it wednesday, you'd practice, see it thursday.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: You're never getting these mental reps.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: I have visualization all over my office here.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm obsessed with the word curious and curiosity.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: Um, I got a sign back here that says be curious, not judgmental, from ted lasso.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Um, I teach my kids curiosity when people, younger sellers, when I go in to speak to companies, they ask like, hey, what's the one piece of advice that you wish that you would have had?
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: I said I would, I would, you know, I wish people knew how much I practiced and I would wish, and I wish, I wish I could go back and be more curious than I thought I was earlier, because, and so, like that visualization of you getting the job done, I think is awesome and it's and that's that's something that we, as dads, anybody can do.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, you don't have to have special, you don't need to play quarterback in michigan state to have visualization.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Just if you want to do something, either write it down or don't, but someone's.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: I always tell myself someone's gonna do it.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Why not me or why not you and I?
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: I remember when you, when you told me about this, I was like all right, when are you gonna start?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: And I remember just like kind of like I mean, you and I didn't really know each other super well I remember just like kind of pushing, but I was like I can't wait to read this thing and so that's why I wanted to have you on to one to a fall through my commitment.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Uh, I did read it and I love.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I love the fact that you said something out loud that you're going to do and then you followed through and did it and I hope that dads at home um be inspired by that story, because you know, bill and I did not go to Harvard.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: You know he went to Michigan state, I went to central.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, no offense to Michigan state, no offense to central, but it just takes a little, you know.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Set a goal, ask for some help, help someone, keep you accountable those are probably the same things we want to teach our kids.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: So is there a favorite quote in one of the chapters for you that stood out through this process?
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: You know I like them all.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: Obviously I put them in the book, but there's one that you know really speaks to me.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: Just, you know it kind of helps me to think about things a little differently.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: You know we all struggle, for you know what our purpose is, what we're supposed to be doing and all of those good things.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: And you know it kind of hit me when I first read it, and it's by Howard Thurman, and it says don't ask what the world needs.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive and I think that's so true.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: I think so many times ignore what really lights us up inside and what really puts a smile on our face and fills our soul.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: We kind of get lost in the tasks and the checklists and what others think we should do or what seems safe.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: I think we need to pursue, you know, responsibly, more of those things that make us come alive.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: So that's one of the quotes, but all of them really have spoken to me at one time or another in a really deep and profound way.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Spoken to me at one time or another in a really deep and profound way.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I'm the Director of Talent Management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right thing, supporting our communities and putting field talent first.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Our team places candidates in administrative, light, industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: He lives what he teaches.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about Cowork Staffing, please visit our website at CoworkStaffingcom.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: He meant from Viktor Frankl to Dr Irene C Kasorla.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Did I pronounce that right?
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: He said the pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand Simple stuff.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: Another thing about the book that I really like everybody at home is at the end of each chapter he talks about sticking your hand in the fire, and it's a lot of self-reflection you can do.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: It's easy to be reel, to write notes, take notes.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: Um, I think the books where you do, uh, write down one as it as an author, when people tell me that, it's like super humbling and actually shout out to Tish St Germain, one of my former clients.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: Remember one time she called me.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: She goes hey, give you feedback on your book.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh boy, I thought she was going to like torch me and say how shitty it was.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: And she's like she holds up a piece of paper just writing all over.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: I'm like what, what's this?
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I said this is what getting my own ass kick looks like.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: I'm like what are you talking about?
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: She goes I wish I would have read this early in my career, like I didn't realize I was doing things the wrong way page 28.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: He says what were you able to experience some level of satisfaction after a loss?
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Just thinking about that and I remember myself said I said, stay humble.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I would say right guy, right time, right place in corporate, maybe had more success than I thought, but to me, celebrating the team, winning the hard work yeah, it took time, but like so does writing a book, which is what Bill and I both know what that's like.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: And if you're thinking about writing a book, everybody do it, man, don't, don't.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: There's no reason not to.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: And you can't worry about being judged I mean, not everybody's going to like it, who cares?
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: But there's a story, there's a voice in your head that's saying man, I got to get this out and I think what Bill wrote about, I think it's I don't know when you thought about writing this, bill.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's just for athletes.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: I think when I read this, not only did it make me think about when I left playing football, but also made me think when I left corporate I was defined by something I did for 20 years.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: But maybe I wasn't, and it really a lot of the things that I read through your book.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Maybe I wasn't, and it really like a lot of the things that I read through your, your book.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: It really made me think about that.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: So I don't I don't know if that speaks to you as the author when you write that.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: I definitely didn't think about that when I was writing it.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: However, a lot of the feedback that I've gotten, now that it's out there and people have read it, is exactly what you just said.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: It's, it's uh.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of um of parallels to other professions, so to speak.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: I heard from one person who just retired from a job for 40 years and, you know, once the retirement happened, he didn't really know who he was or what to do next.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Heard from military personnel Same thing, even people in the music business who are chasing that dream and and have to watch it die that dream and have to watch it die.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, it's really resonating, not just in those areas, but also with business professionals as well.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of crossover with how we show up for our teams and for our people, for our businesses.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: The title of the book Victory Outside the Arena.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: Whatever your arena is, even if it's business, how do you show up or how are you working on yourself?
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: So you do show up inside the arena when it's time, when the lights come on, when it's game time and when you've got to perform.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Are you doing that work on yourself outside of the arena?
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: Are you putting in that time or are you just defined by going through the motions and doing what you've always done?
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: So those are important questions to ask yourself.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: And you're right, I really thought it was important to include questions at the end of every chapter, because reflection is such a huge part of this whole self-development thing and I always subscribe to the theory that asking yourself the right questions is really more important than having all the answers.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: You know you can pretend to have all the answers and pretend to have it figured out and look like on the outside that you've got everything working the way it's supposed to, but asking yourself questions, that really sparks ideas and it speaks right to the heart of what you're passionate about, which is curiosity.
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: When you're curious, you're naturally going to ask those questions.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: So I think you need to kind of turn the mirror on yourself and ask yourself some important questions, because how many of us go through the motions every day?
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: And again we just avoid looking in the mirror because maybe to a degree we're afraid of some of the answers that we might come up with.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: But if you're really committed and if you're really chasing greatness, I think it's necessary to go through the book.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Ask yourself those questions and see what answers you come up with.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Spot on.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: I know I read the paperback, but is the book available in any other formats, if people are curious?
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Just an ebook and the paperback.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Right now I haven't tackled the from what I've heard huge task of recording an audio book.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: I'm a little afraid of that, but it will probably happen at some point.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: But for now just the two versions that are available.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: When you decide to do it, you'll be the first guy to come on three times.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: All right, I did it.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I recorded it myself.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I was intimidated by it.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: You got to find a good audio person, but once you do it, it's the same mic you have.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: You just record it.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I've learned that I've had people from.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I get a note from a guy in Europe.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: Hey, I just listened to your book.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: I'm like how the hell did you find that?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: I want one man's opinion if when you decide to do it record, you, do it yourself, so it's your voice and people can.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: They want to hear it from you.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: And um, I even found myself like ad-libbing a couple times when I was reading it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't mean to, but like I almost got into like writing the heart of the character.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Um so, um, as we wrap up, what are you most proud of of the book?
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: As a dad?
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Maybe as an author?
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: Maybe as a dad too.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I so much, you know, just getting it to the finish line, but I think, you know it really pushed me to be vulnerable.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: There are certain things in there that I considered whether or not I should share.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: You know, I've never been the type of person to share too much.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: I'm an introvert by nature.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: But, you know, in order for us to grow and step outside our comfort zone and, as I write in the book, as I say, stick your hand in the fire.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, that's exactly what I had to do throughout the creation of the book.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: So I was definitely proud of the fact that I was practicing what I was preaching, so to speak, because I can only influence and impact other people, other readers, to the level of you know what I'm doing every day in my own life.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: So if I try to, you know, teach people or coach people to do these certain things, and I wasn't living that authentically, then I wouldn't show up as my best self.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: So I really wanted to stay true to what I was talking about in the book, which is embracing that discomfort and sticking my hand in the fire each and every day, and in this case, to get the book done and out to the world, so really proud of the fact that I'm sitting here with you now talking about having it completed and being an author, because that was one of the big aspirations that I have.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: And I think every time any of us do something significant like this at least for me it just makes me and put out to the world so other people can chase their greatness, so they can grow personally and professionally, so they can realize their dreams.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: I think anytime any of us does something like this, it just gives permission almost to the people that are reading it or listening to go pursue their dreams and I think when we are creating that ripple effect, it just makes everything more productive, more abundant, and it just makes the world a better place.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Thousand percent.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: Well said, I will say everybody.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Bill and I first met.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: We both did kind of a podcast swap.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: Bill had a podcast that was for quarterbacks, talked about playing the position, the, the lessons learned, how to impact life.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Are you still doing that podcast?
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: I'm not uh, just couldn't uh, you know, with writing a book and doing everything else, I just couldn't keep up with, uh, finding exceptional guests like yourself that played the position.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: But also, you know, we're interested in having some of these conversations.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: So, um, you know, maybe it'll there'll be a reboot, uh, in some form or fashion in the future.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Well, if people can still find the episodes.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: I interviewed some fantastic guests.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: It was fun to just learn I mean as a former quarterback, when I obviously had a lot more involvement in it but like just hearing the stories, the lessons learned, it spoke to me.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: So there's a quarterback out there.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you can probably find the episodes.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: I think they're still on my phone.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: They're still out there on wherever you can consume your podcast, it's called the Dropback with a Q podcast.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Consume your podcast called the drop back with a Q?
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Uh podcast and um.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: But in one of those I want you to share a story because one of my favorite episodes was a solo episode.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: You did Um and uh.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: You you shared I mean I talk about being vulnerable man you you shared a story where you aired yourself out, you threw yourself on the bus, but it was the most humble and uh, it spoke to me because, like, those are the stories I love sharing.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: When I get to speak to people is like, because sometimes when they see you, they're like, or someone who's like perceived doing great things.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: They don't see part of my friends, the shit show that we go through sometimes, the difficulty sometimes, and but walk me back to that that day when, when you're or you, I guess take me to the scene and tell the story, because I think so many people who are football fans will really appreciate the humility and vulnerability you share here.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: So let me set the scene.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: It was 1998.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: We were going on the road to play the Ohio State Buckeyes.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: I'm from Ohio.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: They were ranked number one in the country and we were four touchdown underdogs and my job stability was tenuous at best Anytime the team isn't doing all that great.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: Of course, as you know, the quarterback is the first person to get looked at and criticized and coaches by nature are always looking to upgrade their talent at every position.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: That's just their job.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: So you couldn't take that personally.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: But I started the game.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Um was playing well.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: Um wasn't in danger of getting the hook because things were kind of clicking for us as an offense and we were in the game.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: You know we were keeping it close.
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: This was a juggernaut.
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: Everybody had penciled them in to win the national title and this wasn't the first game of the season where they had been preseason number one and faltered in the first couple of weeks or were in danger of getting beat.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: This was the eighth game of the year.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: Everybody knew they were the best team in the country.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: They were blowing teams out.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: We were still in the game in the third quarter and they blitzed.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: I threw a hot route.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: The ball got intercepted and returned for a touchdown.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: So now we are down quite a bit and I am just livid with myself because I had us in the game.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: We were, we were on the brink of keeping it competitive and so I threw that pick six.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: I come off the sideline and coach Saban grabs my arm because he wants to talk to me, and I just ripped my arm away and I continued walking towards the bench and I went and sat down.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: Um, I wasn't looking at him when he grabbed my arm, even though I kind of knew it was him.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: Uh, he just calmly turned back around and went back to focusing on what was happening on the field.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: So, long story short, we go on to win the football game.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: We pulled it out, you know, we stuck our hand in the fire, so to speak, and you know celebrations all around in the locker room, coaches hugging players.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: Saban actually kissed me on the cheek in the locker room, which you know made me step back because I had never seen that type of elation from him at all, not even on any level.
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: So we're all celebrating well into the early morning, the biggest win of his career as a coach, the biggest win of my career back in my home state.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: All is well in Michigan State land.
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: So the next day, sunday, we always come into the building to stretch out and just do some light running.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: Make sure everybody's in one piece.
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: Coach addresses us briefly.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: We all go home Monday morning.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: We always come in at 6 45, before our day starts, to watch the game film from a couple days earlier, and so we're all huddled in the lobby waiting for the coaches to call us in to the team meeting room so we can start to watch the film.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: The director of operations comes out and he says hey, bill, nick wants to see you in his office.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: And I think, oh, this is fantastic.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: The guy's finally going to give me the pat on the back and tell me what a great job I did, because up until that point you could tell he was not fully in in terms of whether or not I was the guy to lead the offense.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: So I walked in there with my chest out.
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: I was ready to receive all the congratulations and maybe even a little bit of an apology from him, you know, just because I hadn't gotten the praise that I was looking for.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: So he opens the door, he uh in.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: You gotta know Nick Saban when he's not on a football field.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: Uh, he speaks so quietly you can barely hear him and I think he just conserves his energy so he can scream a lot more on the practice or game field.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: Uh, so he calls me in, he says, uh, quietly, have a seat, closes the door slowly behind me and from that point just proceeds to rip me up one side and down the other about disrespecting him, stopping when he tried to stop me to coach me on the field.
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: Every obscenity, every line you could ever imagine of a coach saying to a player was spit out in that moment at 6.45.
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: Now remember, for a college student that's very, very early.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: So I wasn't even fully awake at this point.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: But I humbly and calmly apologized, told him I didn't mean to disrespect him, I was just frustrated with myself.
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: I might have even fibbed a little bit and said that I didn't know, it was him that was trying to get my attention, fibbed a little bit and said that I didn't know, it was him that was trying to get my attention, just saying whatever I could to not provoke the bear anymore than I already had.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: So I calmly walked out of the office with my tail between my legs.
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: The meeting lasted maybe 30 seconds and I quickly was brought back down to earth after our big upset victory over the Ohio State Buckeyes.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: I love that story.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: Then I listened to it probably two or three times before and I love it just as much now and I knew it was going to come, but I was still like like fricking on the seat of my, on the edge of my seat.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: So I love that story, man.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I think just because we all can be coached and we're never arrived, I think we're all replaceable.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: As we all can be coached and we're never arrived.
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: I think we're all replaceable.
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: As sad as that is, I think it's reality.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: Everybody and I just love not just a football coach with a whistle around his neck.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: The guy's a CEO and he understands culture and he understands what it takes to build a great organization.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: And I think that when you let little things like that slide and I fully believe that 99 out of 100 coaches had they just upset the number one team in the country would have let that little thing slide.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: But he had it written on his paper in his back pocket and he made sure he went back to it on Monday morning Because when you let those little things go, you might not recognize it in a week or a month or even a year, but the seams of your organization can start to come apart.
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: And I think he inherently knew that and maybe he got a lot of those lessons from his own father who was very meticulous and very disciplined.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: But that really taught me a great lesson and I think that's a lesson for all your listeners.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: If you're leading teams or leading an organization, take that lesson from Nick Saban.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: Doesn't mean you need to scream at your people, but you might want to pay really close attention to any little thing that might allow your organization to slowly come apart at the seams, because it matters.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: And I think he understood that and you saw the results of that because he absolutely built a detailed, meticulous culture.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: And we saw the results of that the following year.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: That particular year we were very inconsistent, didn't go to a bowl game end of the year 6-6.
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: But the next year we saw the fruits of our labor and ended the year 10-2, and we were a much better football team and a lot of it is due to his work and his lessons and his holding us accountable.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: So I learned a tremendous amount from him and just have a tremendous amount of respect for him.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Love it.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Well, not only does that speak to leaders of teams or companies, but also as dads.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: If you ask your kids to, hey, you're going to order for yourself tonight at the dinner table and then when it's come game time, do they freak out?
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Well, if he freaks out and doesn't say anything, then it sounds like you're not eating tonight.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, I used to do that to my kids.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: I'm like listen, I'm not ordering for you, I don't speak for you, you have to speak for yourself.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: And like again, that might seem like geez, lighten up, dude, but to me those are like the little things that you're teaching how to talk to adults, whether it's how you teach someone to shake a hand, like I think the little things do matter.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: And you know, there's the the at age.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: Uh, advice of you know, don't sweat the small stuff.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: I agree to that to a point, but I think it's okay to sweat some of the small stuff, because the small things, un, um, unaddressed, can go on to become big things and then we get complacent as dads and as parents and then, all of a sudden you know, sarcast speaking we got a kid in jail.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: It's like I don't want that.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know 100%.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: You bring up such a great point.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: You know you love your kids and there's such a fine line there.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: You want you know you don't want to put them in a tough position or see them upset, but it's really having those difficult conversations and teaching those difficult lessons now and hopefully one day you see the payoff in the future, and so there's always a fine line that we walk there as dads.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: But I think you're right, the little things do matter and they do add up and I think one day, even though it might be uncomfortable now, they're going to see the payoff for themselves and they're going to understand why we wanted them to be more independent and make those decisions for themselves and learn the hard lessons.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: Yep, Spot on man.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: Well, how can people I want people to go out and pick up this book, so tell us where is the easiest place people can go to get their copy and get their hand in that fire to get growing?
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: How do they find it?
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I appreciate that it's available on Amazon in two different formats, as we discussed, but I've got a special offer for your guests.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: I would love them to take advantage of it.
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: If they want a free copy of the book, all you've got to do is pay a nominal shipping and handling fee.
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: But if you want a free copy of the paperback version, all you've got to do is go to OutsideTheArenacom slash free book and we'll ship one right to your door.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I did not know that was coming, but that's a sweet little hookup for a quarterback.
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: Dad cast list listeners.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: I want to make sure I get that you said outside the arenacom slash free book.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: I don't know about you guys, everybody, but I like the price.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: Free, that's a.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: That's a really good deal.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: Shipping and handling does not seem like a lot.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: So take him up on this offer.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I will make sure this is linked in the show notes to everybody so you can go out and get this book and and um, once you read it, share it with someone else.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: I think that's the biggest gift, that why your books are just books that go on a shelf, but it becomes wisdom once we share it or apply it and um.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: But I'm proud of you, man.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: I'm proud our paths have crossed.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Hopefully one day we'll meet in person.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: Yes, since I'm a central Washington guy, I'm not a Husky, wash Husky or a Cougar Wash State Cougar.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of down the.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: But I know the Huskies are joining the Big 10, the Big 12 or Big 48, whatever it is.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: Now, with this crazy college football world we're living in.
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: It's a new world it college football world we're living in.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: It's a new world it is.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: So hopefully maybe our paths will cross on a football field one day.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: It'll be fun to meet you in person.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: But I'm proud of you.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Congrats again, everybody.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: We'll make sure Bill's information is linked in the show notes.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: We'll make sure that you'll learn about outside the arena and the impact that it will have on you, because I know it had a huge impact on me, and being able to read a book from a guy that played for the one and only Nick Saban is a pretty special thing in life, and so I really encourage everybody to go out and pick it up.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: But, bill, congrats again, man Proud of you, and hopefully we'll continue, both of us working hard to become the ultimate quarterback or leader of our household.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: So I appreciate it, man.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: No, I appreciate you, casey, thanks for having me on and always appreciate the great conversation.
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: Yep, all right, take it easy man.