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Why Your Life Isn't a 10/10 (And What to Do About It) · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us.
• 0:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for watching, listening here in the United States across the world.
• 0:10
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• 0:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate that.
• 0:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate you.
• 0:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Welcome back to our return viewers and listeners, and welcome to our first time viewers and listeners.
• 0:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're all part of the Voices for Voices family, no matter where you are in the world, no matter who you are, what you look like, we're all part of this together.
• 1:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we're gonna get started on this particular episode.
• 1:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we're gonna talk about what's blocking your 10 out of 10 life.
• 1:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you'll see what I'm talking about here in a in a short moment.
• 1:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're doing everything you're supposed to do.
• 1:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You work hard, you try to be healthy, you put effort into your relationships, but you still have this nagging feeling that you're stuck at a seven out of a ten.
• 1:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you've ever felt like this, or felt like you're so close to the life that you want, but something invisible keeps pulling you back, then this is for you.
• 1:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're going to talk about the hidden patterns that might be sabotaging your 10 out of 10 life, 10 for 10, and more importantly, what you can actually do about them.
• 2:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So, what even is a 10 out of 10 life?
• 2:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's really a metaphor for a life that feels balanced and whole.
• 2:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A 10 in your career, a 10 in your health, a 10 in your relationships.
• 2:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's that feeling of holistic success, where you aren't just thriving in one area at the expense of another, you feel aligned and genuinely satisfied with the life you've built.
• 2:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For some, the idea also has a spiritual meaning, where the date ten is seen as a powerful moment for new beginnings.
• 2:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But whether you see it as a practical goal or a spiritual reset, the question is the same.
• 3:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What's in the way?
• 3:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: From the outside, your life might even look perfect.
• 3:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we know not everything is perfect.
• 3:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: None of us are.
• 6:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This can create a deep and frustrating internal conflict.
• 6:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Part of you knows you have things to be grateful for, and friends and family might even reinforce this.
• 6:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This can lead to a layer of guilt over feeling dissatisfied.
• 6:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But here's the thing, that feeling is something, that feeling that something is missing doesn't mean you're ungrateful.
• 6:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It often means your life, while good on paper, may have drifted out of alignment with your core values.
• 6:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a call to stop looking outward for validation and start looking inward for clarity.
• 7:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Feeling stuck is often a symptom of the tension between the life you've been told you should want and the life you truly crave.
• 7:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: As we explore the following blockers, keep this idea in mind.
• 7:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They are clues pointing you back to a more authentic and fulfilling existence.
• 7:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The blocker number one, the tyranny of overwhelm and the fog of unclarity.
• 7:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The first and maybe the most common blocker is a two headed monster.
• 7:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Overwhelm and a lack of clarity.
• 7:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They feed each other in a vicious cycle.
• 7:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You feel overwhelmed because there's too much to do, and you lack clarity on what's actually important, which just makes you feel even more overwhelmed.
• 8:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's that feeling of opening your laptop, looking at your to-do list, and having no idea where to even begin.
• 8:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you procrastinate, get lost in busy work, and end the day feeling exhausted without making real progress.
• 8:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This isn't a personal failing, it's a feature of modern life.
• 8:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We are drowning in information, in endless choices.
• 8:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When our brains are overtaxed, it's like a computer with too many tabs opened.
• 8:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It slows down and freezes.
• 8:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Psychologists have explored this phenomenon, sometimes called decision fatigue.
• 9:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The idea is that you spend so much mental energy on small choices that when it's time to make a big one, you have nothing left in the tank.
• 9:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The dream of a 10 out of 10 life feels distant when you can't even figure out what to do in the next hour.
• 9:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So how do you break free?
• 9:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The solution isn't to just work harder, it's to intentionally create clarity.
• 9:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution one, the power of the brain dump.
• 9:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: First, get everything out of your head.
• 9:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your brain is for having ideas, not for holding them.
• 9:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Take a piece of paper and write down every single thing that's taking up mental space.
• 9:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Every to do, every worry, every should, don't filter it, just get it all out.
• 10:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This simple act creates space, allowing you to see your thoughts objectively instead of being consumed by them.
• 10:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution two distinguish between the urgent and the important.
• 10:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once it's all written down, it's time to organize.
• 10:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The Eisenhower matrix is a great tool for this.
• 10:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Draw four quadrants urgent and important.
• 10:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do these now.
• 10:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Important but not urgent, schedule these.
• 10:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Urgent but not important, delegate these.
• 10:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And neither urgent nor important.
• 10:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Eliminate these.
• 10:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A fulfilling life is often built in the important but not urgent quadrant.
• 11:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is where strategic thinking, relationship building, and deep work happen.
• 11:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: By consciously scheduling time for these tasks, you shift from being reactive to being proactive.
• 11:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution three, define your one thing.
• 11:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To truly cut through the fog, define your one thing.
• 11:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For any area of your life, ask yourself, what's the one thing I can do?
• 11:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary.
• 11:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe for your health, the one thing is getting seven to eight hours of sleep.
• 11:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe for your career, it's mastering one high value skill.
• 12:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't try to overhaul your life at once.
• 12:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Identify the keystone habit, the one domino that will knock over the others, and focus your energy there.
• 12:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Success is sequential, not simultaneous.
• 12:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Blocker number two, the silent epidemic of burnout and chronic stress.
• 12:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The second major blocker is burnout.
• 12:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: In our always on culture, it's become a silent epidemic.
• 12:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The World Health Organization defines burnout as an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic, unmanaged workplace stress.
• 12:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's characterized by three things feelings of exhaustion, increased mental distance, or cynicism about your job, and reduced professional efficacy.
• 13:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's at a state of deep physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.
• 13:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some surveys from twenty twenty five suggest that over half of the United States US workforce reports feeling burnout.
• 13:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: With some data indicating younger generations like Generation Zen Z feel it acutely.
• 13:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The feeling of burnout is deep and hollow.
• 13:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's when passion turns to cynicism.
• 13:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's feeling emotionally numb and believing that nothing you do makes a difference anymore.
• 14:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of the sneakiest parts of burnout is the guilt that comes with rest.
• 14:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: In a culture that glorifies the hustle, taking a break can feel like a weakness.
• 14:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This leads to a state where your body's stress response system is constantly activated, flooding your system with cortisol.
• 14:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: While this is helpful in short bursts, some research suggests chronic exposure is associated with changes in the brain, including to the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex.
• 14:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're running on a depleted battery and have forgotten how to recharge.
• 14:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Overcoming burnout isn't about a single vacation.
• 14:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It requires a fundamental shift in your relationship with work and rest.
• 15:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution one, redefine and schedule true rest.
• 15:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: First, understand that rest is not simply the absence of work.
• 15:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: While scrolling on your phone or watching TV can feel like a break, they don't always provide true restoration.
• 15:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: True rest involves activities that calm your nervous system and replenish your mental reserves.
• 15:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can think of it in different categories physical rest to sleep, mental rest, quieting your mind, sensory rest, unplugging from screens, creative rest, hobbies, and social rest, spending time with life giving people.
• 15:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Schedule this rest with the same seriousness as a meeting.
• 16:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Treat it as a vital component of your performance, not a reward for exhaustion.
• 16:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution two practice active self compassion.
• 16:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Burnout is often fueled by a harsh inner critic.
• 16:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The antidote is self compassion.
• 16:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This isn't about letting yourself off the hook.
• 16:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's about treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend.
• 16:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Dr.
• 16:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Kristen Neff, a pioneering researcher in this field, breaks it down into three components.
• 16:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Self-kindness, recognizing human, recognizing common humanity, which is realizing you're not alone in your struggle, and mindfulness.
• 16:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When you notice that critical voice, pause.
• 17:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Acknowledge the feeling without judgment.
• 17:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is a moment of suffering.
• 17:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Remind yourself that struggle is part of life.
• 17:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then offer yourself a gesture of kindness.
• 17:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This practice can interrupt the cycle of self-criticism that fuels burnout.
• 17:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution three, focus on contribution, not exhaustion.
• 17:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A significant driver of burnout is feeling like your work lacks impact.
• 17:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When our daily actions feel disconnected from a larger sense of meaning, exhaustion can set in.
• 17:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To counteract this, reconnect with your why.
• 17:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why did you choose this path?
• 17:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Who are you helping?
• 18:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're struggling to find this in your job, look for it elsewhere through volunteering or mentoring.
• 18:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Shift your measure of a successful day from how much did I get done to how did I contribute?
• 18:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This reorients your focus from volume to value, which is a powerful antidote to the futility at the heart of burnout.
• 18:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Section four, we're gonna look at blocker number three, the misalignment of your daily engine, habits, and routines.
• 18:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The third blocker is subtle, the misalignment between your conscious goals and your unconscious daily habits.
• 18:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can be motivated and inspired, but if your daily routines work against you, you'll feel like you're swimming upstream.
• 19:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some studies have found that a huge portion of our daily actions, perhaps forty percent or even more, are not conscious decisions, but habits.
• 19:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These routines are the engine of your life.
• 19:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well that engine is built from poor habits.
• 19:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It drains your energy and scatters your focus.
• 19:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The frustration here is self-sabotage.
• 19:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's going to bed late knowing you need to wake up early.
• 19:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's reaching for your phone first thing and getting sucked into a vortex of notifications.
• 19:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Each individual act feels small, but compounded over time, these misaligned habits keep you stuck.
• 19:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know what you want to do, but you can't seem to make yourself do it.
• 20:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Closing this gap isn't about willpower.
• 20:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's about designing an environment and routines that make good habits the easy choice.
• 20:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Master your environment.
• 20:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Environment design.
• 20:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your environment is the invisible hand that shapes your behavior.
• 20:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Want to eat healthier?
• 20:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't just rely on willpower to avoid the cookies.
• 20:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Get them out of your house.
• 20:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Want to read more?
• 20:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Leave a book on your pillow.
• 20:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Want to reduce phone time?
• 20:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Create friction by leaving it in another room.
• 20:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: By consciously designing your environment, you make your goals easier to achieve by removing the obstacles in your path.
• 21:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That one's a huge one.
• 21:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For my students who put the phones on one of the desks in front of the class before class and after class, they pick up their phones.
• 21:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Having all phones silent, that's one way that I try to help my students and help others.
• 21:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution two, implement habit stacking.
• 21:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of the best ways to build a new habit is to stack it on top of an existing one.
• 21:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The formula from James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, is simple.
• 21:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: After current habit, I will new habit.
• 21:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Instead of I will meditate more, say after I brush my teeth.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I will meditate for one minute.
• 22:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This works because you're linking the new behavior to something your brain already does automatically.
• 22:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For solution three, start ridiculously small with a keystone habit.
• 22:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We often aim too high when trying to change.
• 22:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The key is to start ridiculously small.
• 22:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So small it feels almost impossible not to do.
• 22:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One to start exercising.
• 22:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your goal isn't to run a 5K, it's to put on your running shoes.
• 22:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's it.
• 22:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This approach does two things.
• 22:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: First, it overcomes the inertia that stops us from starting.
• 22:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Second, it helps you build the identity of someone who does that habit.
• 22:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Every time you put on your running shoes, you cast a vote for being a runner.
• 23:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Focus on one keystone habit that creates a positive ripple effect, and you can slowly rebuild your entire daily engine.
• 23:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Section five, blocker number four, the invisible fences, relationship strain and weak boundaries.
• 23:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The fourth blocker is one that drains our energy more than we realize.
• 23:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A relationship strain from weak boundaries.
• 23:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A boundary isn't a wall.
• 23:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a clear communication of what is and is not okay with you.
• 23:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When we fail to set healthy boundaries, we can feel used, disrespected, resentful.
• 23:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The agitation of weak boundaries can be a constant state of low level anxiety.
• 24:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's distress of people pleasing, of saying yes when you want to say no.
• 24:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's biting your tongue to avoid conflict, only to be left with resentment.
• 24:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This isn't just about dramatic, toxic relationships.
• 24:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It can be a boss who regularly emails you after hours, or a friend who always dominates the conversation.
• 24:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Each instance might seem small, but collectively they create invisible fences that trap you, siphoning off mental and emotional energy.
• 24:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Setting boundaries can feel scary, but clear boundaries create relationships based on mutual respect, not unspoken obligations.
• 25:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution one, identify your no.
• 25:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can't set a boundary if you don't know where you stand.
• 25:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Pay attention to your feelings of resentment and burnout.
• 25:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They often signal a boundary is a boundary is being crossed.
• 25:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They often signal a boundary is being crossed.
• 25:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Reflect on your non-negotiables.
• 25:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What behaviors from others leave you feeling drained?
• 25:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Make a list like I will not check work emails after 7 PM, or I need 30 minutes of alone time each day.
• 25:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Knowing what you value is the foundation.
• 25:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution two, communicate calmly and clearly.
• 26:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's use a script.
• 26:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The next step is to communicate your boundary assertively, not aggressively.
• 26:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A great formula is I feel emotion when behavior.
• 26:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I need boundary.
• 26:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: For example, to a friend who is always late, I feel disrespected when I have to wait a long time.
• 26:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I value our friendship, and I need us to be on time for our plans.
• 26:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These I statements express your needs without blame.
• 26:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Communicate calmly and clearly without a long apologetic explanation.
• 26:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution three, uphold your boundary.
• 26:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is the real work.
• 26:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Communicating the boundary is just the first step.
• 27:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The real work is upholding it when it's tested.
• 27:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it will be.
• 27:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you told your boss you won't respond to emails at night, then you must not respond.
• 27:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you've told your friend you won't wait more than 15 minutes, then after 15 minutes, you leave.
• 28:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sharing it is a powerful way to acknowledge it.
• 28:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you're getting value from this, please hit that subscribe button.
• 28:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're about to get into our final and perhaps most profound blocker.
• 28:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Section six, blocker number five.
• 28:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Our final blocker operates entirely within us.
• 28:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's the voice of your inner critic.
• 28:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Its favorite weapons are fear, doubt, and perfectionism.
• 28:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is the blocker that can remain even when all external circumstances are perfect.
• 28:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The most common manifestation is what's known as the imposter phenomenon.
• 29:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's that nagging feeling that you're a fraud and will be found out at any moment.
• 29:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's an incredibly common feeling.
• 29:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Prevalence estimates vary widely depending on the group and measurement tool, with some studies suggesting up to eighty-two percent of people experience it.
• 29:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This doubt is often wrapped in the blanket of perfectionism.
• 29:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Perfectionism isn't about having high standards.
• 29:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's healthy.
• 29:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maladaptive perfection Maladaptive perfectionism is the belief that if we don't if we do everything perfect, we can avoid judgment and shame.
• 29:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maladaptive perfectionism is the belief that if we do everything perfectly, we can avoid judgment and shame.
• 30:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But since perfection is impossible, it becomes the ultimate self sabotage, leading to procrastination and burnout.
• 30:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The agitation here is a state of constant anxiety.
• 30:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's the fear of being found out in the fear of both failure and success.
• 30:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're trapped in a prison of your own making, where the warden is your own mind.
• 30:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Taming the inner critic isn't about fighting it, which only makes it louder.
• 30:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's about changing your relationship with it.
• 30:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution one, separate feelings from facts.
• 30:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your feelings are real, but they are not always true.
• 31:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The feeling that you are a fraud is powerful.
• 31:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But it is not a fact.
• 31:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A great exercise is to keep a fact file.
• 31:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Every time you accomplish something or get positive feedback, write it down.
• 31:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When your inner critic starts its tirade, you can open this file and present the counter evidence.
• 31:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This helps ground you in reality and exposes the inner critic as a biased narrator.
• 31:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Reframe failure as data.
• 31:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Perfectionists are terrified of failure because they tie it to their self-worth.
• 31:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To break free, you must reframe your definition of failure.
• 32:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not the opposite of success.
• 32:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is part of it.
• 32:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is not a verdict on your character.
• 32:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's simply data.
• 32:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Adopt a mindset of experimentation.
• 32:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Instead of launching a perfect project, launch a version 1.0.
• 32:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If it doesn't work, it's not a failure.
• 32:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's just data telling you what to try differently next time.
• 32:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Solution three, practice compassionate self-talk.
• 32:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Finally, actively cultivate a new voice in your head.
• 32:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The voice of a compassionate mentor.
• 32:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Imagine what you would say to a dear friend in your exact situation.
• 32:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You would never say you're a fraud.
• 32:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You would say this is hard and it's normal to feel scared.
• 33:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I believe in you.
• 33:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Start talking to yourself in that same way.
• 33:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When you feel the fear of perfectionism rising, you can tell yourself it's okay to make mistakes.
• 33:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My worth isn't on the line.
• 33:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is about becoming your own ally instead of your own worst enemy.
• 33:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We've journeyed through the five blockers, the fog of overwhelm, the exhaustion of burnout, misaligned habits, weak boundaries, and the inner prison of fear.
• 33:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The common thread is a feeling of being stuck.
• 33:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But the core message today is this you are not powerless.
• 33:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The feeling of being stuck is a signal, an invitation to look deeper.
• 34:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Achieving a ten out of ten life, ten for ten, isn't about a massive overnight transformation.
• 34:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a process of removal, not addition.
• 34:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's about identifying the single biggest blocker in your life right now and taking one small intentional step to dismantle it.
• 34:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'll leave you with a challenge.
• 34:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not to fix everything at once, but to choose one.
• 34:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're stuck and overwhelmed, your one step is to do a 10-minute brain dump tonight.
• 34:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're battling burnout, schedule 15 minutes of rest for tomorrow.
• 34:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If your habits are misaligned, stack one tiny new habit onto your morning routine.
• 34:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're drained by weak boundaries, identify one boundary you need to set and write down the script.
• 35:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if you're paralyzed by your inner critic, write down one piece of evidence that contradicts its negative story.
• 35:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One step.
• 35:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One step, one step.
• 35:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's all it takes to shift from passive frustration to active creation.
• 35:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The path from a seven to a ten is paved with these small, courageous choices.
• 35:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your ten out of ten, ten for ten life is waiting.
• 35:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's time to take the first step.
• 35:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices podcast.
• 35:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Please give us thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, word of mouth.
• 36:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Get that phone out if it's not already out, and share the Voices for Voices podcast.
• 36:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe 25, 50, 100, 500 connections in your phone.
• 36:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate it.
• 36:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We are reaching 3 billion people, and we are helping 3 billion people.
• 36:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I assure you that.
• 36:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So until next time, let's be a voice for ourselves and maybe someone else that need that needs it that might not know how to share their voice.
• 36:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And let's celebrate all the voices in the world.
• 36:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not just some, not just the ones that have the loud megaphone.
• 36:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's celebrate all the voices.
• 36:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we'll see you next time.
• 36:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're sending love and support from us to you.
• 37:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we'll see you on the next episode.
• 37:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye for now.