Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / Best Of 2025: Ryan Jon, Wholesome Sarah and Jessie Stephens plus more!

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Best Of 2025: Ryan Jon, Wholesome Sarah and Jessie Stephens plus more! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two Dotting Dads in his Mardy j
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: here and this is a podcast that is all about parenting.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It is good, it is the bad and the relatable.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: This may surprise you, but we do not give advice.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: But what we do do is give best of episodes
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: for your delight.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, and those guests may or may not give you advice.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And in this episode we have Taylor Montoya who is hilarious.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Along You've Got Twins the Twinsies she does, married to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: the NRL player Marcelo. Marcelo Toya. Great, that's a That's
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: an outstanding name, isn't it. Compare that to Matt Johnson
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: as Wicks. It's got no o. I don't mind Ash
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Wicks got no, that's like a point.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: It's actually my stage name, Ash Ashwicks.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: No one knows my real name, Ashwicks.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Jes said, let's make these short.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: We also have Sarah Pound. You may know her as
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Wholesome Sarah. She gives amazing recipes on social media, has
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: like millions, trillions, billions followers, but she in addition to
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: being a very good chef, she also opens up about
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: her breastfeiting struggles and.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: My favorite Reggie, your little jungle mate, Reggie. If she
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: was a laugh I love how she got run over
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: by someone on a mobility scooter. Dare you, it's a
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: great story.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Laugh at someone else's paying.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: She laughed.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I mean she's laughing, so we're like, we're allowed to.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: She's got a fit whenever I see someone in a
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: mobility scooter. I sent it to Red and.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: He looks kilty if you ask me. We finished this
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: episode off with Jesse Stevens. We talk about postpartum depression.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: So if you or anyone you know aures struggling, we'll
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: leave some useful resources in the show notes of this episode.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Matt, let's get into it.
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: I told my mom I was pregnant.
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: I was like, well, I'm going for the first scan
• 2:03
  Speaker 6: at six weeks because my HGG is really high.
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: So they're kind of worried.
• 2:08
  Speaker 6: And she was like, okay, cool. Didn't say anything. The
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: day before the skin some people knock at my door,
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: and I'm like, I don't answer doors, especially when my
• 2:15
  Speaker 6: husband's not home. I just no one come see me.
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: So I'm like sitting like watching the Telly for ten minutes,
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: and these people are knocking, knocking, knocking, and I'm.
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: Like, oh my god, they're persistent. And I opened the
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: door literally a phone.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Call when someone knocks on our door and I'm not home.
• 2:33
  Speaker 7: Some at the door.
• 2:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's exactly like me. So yeah, finally over the
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: dawns and my mom, my mom and dad. So they
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: had surprised me.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: To be with me. So they had surprised me to
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: come to the scin with me just in case.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: And then so we went to the scan and my
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: dad was like, oh wait. I was like, that's a
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: great idea because this early on they'll go internal.
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: So you went outside and so me and mom in
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: the chair and they went over the stomach at first,
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: and she's like, oh, great news, Like there's the heartbeat.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, i'mreal because I never
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: got to experience that the first time. So I was like, amazing,
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: I'm on like cloud nine. My mom's crying. She's like, wow,
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: a miracle.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: It's amazing.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: It is. Yeah, and so early on too, because that's
• 3:26
  Speaker 6: six weeks. I was not I thought it would just
• 3:28
  Speaker 6: be like adult like the first time. And then so
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: she was like, but I just want to take a
• 3:33
  Speaker 6: closer look.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: You know, given your history.
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: So yeah, yeah, literally said, she's like, go, I'm to
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: your bladder and come back in and then immediately, like
• 3:40
  Speaker 6: my mom's body language sunk, I sunk, and then I
• 3:43
  Speaker 6: come back and then get on the table and then
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: she like goes internally and she's like, okay, yep, so
• 3:49
  Speaker 6: I just want to confirm there's the heartbeat, so we're
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: all good there, and I was like unreal, and she's like,
• 3:53
  Speaker 6: but I just want to draw your attention.
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: To this area and I was like yeah, and like
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: I don't know what I'm looking at it.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, and then she's like, so heartbeat one and
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: then you'll just see there's another heartbeat here.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: And literally before I could say anything, my mom's like
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: I'm like, holy shit, so come down here. And I
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: was like what do you mean? And she's like, you're
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: having twins, honey, And I was like, oh.
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: Man, what And the lady doing the skin was a
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: twin mom herself, so I was like that is like
• 4:29
  Speaker 6: destiny because I said to her without thinking, I'm gonna
• 4:32
  Speaker 6: need a bigger fucking card and she's like, no, honey,
• 4:35
  Speaker 6: I had twins in a yarrison. And then so like
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: from that moment on she was able to tell me
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: they were identical twins. I don't know how, but she
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: could see there was only one placenta, so that confirms
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: it's identical.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: That's the question I had about the twins. So one placenta,
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: but you can have is they're not identical?
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: Yes, So fraternal is two placenta, like each baby gets
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: their own placenta, which is a luxury. And then in
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: my case there was one placenta, two sacks. So the
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: way she said to me was they're in the same house,
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: own bedroom, same bathroom.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: I was like, okay.
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: So from that point on, like my mom's just a mess,
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: like a combination of happy tears and like what the fuck?
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: And then we walk out of the room and my
• 5:27
  Speaker 6: dad looks at me and he sees my mom's face.
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: He's like a ghost bailing her eyes down. So he's like,
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: oh my god, like what's happened. I was like, I'm
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: having twins and he's like, fuck you, Taylor, you never serious,
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: Like we have a very dark humor. Now fairly was dad,
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: I'm having twins. And he's like I can't take you seriously.
• 5:45
  Speaker 6: He's such a bullshit. And then he looks at my
• 5:49
  Speaker 6: mom and she's like she had.
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: And he's like yes, and it run's look at me
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: in a New Zealand as well.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: People are very New Zealand medical practice going off there.
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: Literally everyone's like okay, so yeah, and then like the
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: ride home, I was like to Mom, we're gonna have
• 6:16
  Speaker 6: to FaceTime Marcelo, like I can't keep this from him.
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: They had just lost, so he was in a really
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: crazy meeting like with the coach and all that, and
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: they were kind of I think getting.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: Like the review.
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and then so he ran out and he didn't
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: look very happy and I was like he was like,
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: how did it all go?
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: And I was like yeah, fine, and he's like, oh cool,
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: and I was like yes, so we're having twins and
• 6:38
  Speaker 6: he was like you're fucking kidding and I was like, no,
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: we're having twins.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: He's like, I'm gonna have to start playing Origin Mass
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: We're going to need some forward.
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: But then so yeah, kind of just from that point on,
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: because they were identical twins, I got the rundown straight
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: away fortnightly scans from pretty much six weeks to full term.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I'm conscious of the fact that you should never like
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: want to rush through any phase of parenting because I
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: once its fucking gone, It's gone forever, shout out. But
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I do recall someone holding a newborn and being like
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you just just stare at them for hours, And I
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: was like, what are you looking at? What did you
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: find the hardest thing about the newborn phase?
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: Ah?
• 7:30
  Speaker 8: Definitely breastfeeding with all three hated it, felt the pressure,
• 7:35
  Speaker 8: wasn't good at it.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Just hated it.
• 7:38
  Speaker 8: It didn't come easy to me.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be really stupid here. Okay, when you
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: say you weren't good at it, what do you mean
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: by that?
• 7:47
  Speaker 8: Well, my I got block ducks really easily. So it
• 7:51
  Speaker 8: just it didn't I always thought, and again this was,
• 7:54
  Speaker 8: you know, nine years ago, before I had my first baby.
• 7:57
  Speaker 8: I was like, oh, I will be so like, I'll
• 7:59
  Speaker 8: just be fine breastfeeding.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I'm a chill person.
• 8:02
  Speaker 8: It would just come naturally to me. I know what,
• 8:04
  Speaker 8: I'm like, I don't get too anxious over things.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: It'll be fine.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: And it just was the total opposite.
• 8:08
  Speaker 8: And it was also lack of information that you know,
• 8:11
  Speaker 8: now I've got three younger sisters and so I'll sort
• 8:14
  Speaker 8: of say to them, just do which I used to
• 8:16
  Speaker 8: be like, ah, don't need to know a thing, I'll
• 8:18
  Speaker 8: just roll into it. But I think with Lil, if
• 8:20
  Speaker 8: I had have known more about breastfeeding, I got very sick.
• 8:24
  Speaker 8: So had mas statist three or four times, which is
• 8:27
  Speaker 8: quite common, but then the fourth that's it's pretty much
• 8:30
  Speaker 8: it's an infection that eat it get it can get.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Really bad, which for me it did.
• 8:34
  Speaker 8: But it can either just be a local sort of
• 8:37
  Speaker 8: infection that you get a really sore boob and it's
• 8:40
  Speaker 8: inflamed and whatever. You have antibiotics and it calms down,
• 8:43
  Speaker 8: or you can get full fever and whatever. But in
• 8:45
  Speaker 8: my case it went a bit beyond that and it
• 8:47
  Speaker 8: turned into an abscess, so which is just.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Like a big infection.
• 8:52
  Speaker 8: And so yeah, which I just didn't know any of this,
• 8:55
  Speaker 8: and I feel like if I had have known anyway,
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: went to the GP because I had this very red boob,
• 8:59
  Speaker 8: like was I didn't feel well. I was in bed
• 9:02
  Speaker 8: and so that like she was five weeks old, wow,
• 9:06
  Speaker 8: so really little. And then went to the GP and
• 9:09
  Speaker 8: they were like, oh, that's not great. But then they
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: told me, which was just odd.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: They told me to go to a physio to get
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: ultrasound to break down anyway, So when I did that,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: and at this point you see a dentist totally.
• 9:20
  Speaker 8: It was just really when I look back on I'm like,
• 9:22
  Speaker 8: that was so screwed up how they told me to
• 9:24
  Speaker 8: do that. It was bright red, inflamed big, and they've said,
• 9:28
  Speaker 8: you know, and even the woman who ultrasounded it was like,
• 9:31
  Speaker 8: it looks quite infected, so go home and rest. Anyway,
• 9:33
  Speaker 8: that night, went to emergency, so they drained it and
• 9:37
  Speaker 8: just locally, you know, stuck some needles in and then
• 9:39
  Speaker 8: took out this whole lot of infected pass and then
• 9:42
  Speaker 8: they said you should feel relief. They were great, you
• 9:45
  Speaker 8: should feel relief. Go home tonight and rest. Anyway, that
• 9:48
  Speaker 8: night it.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Got worse and was like a golf ball.
• 9:52
  Speaker 8: Went back into emergency, and then had to have breast
• 9:55
  Speaker 8: surgery the next morning.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and so.
• 9:57
  Speaker 8: All of this was just a bit of like a okay,
• 10:01
  Speaker 8: all right, I'll just go with it. And you know,
• 10:04
  Speaker 8: litl was five weeks old, and when they're that little,
• 10:06
  Speaker 8: they're still feeding every two to three hours.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: So dependent. So then yeah, had the had the surgery.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: It was so funny.
• 10:13
  Speaker 8: I remember because tom my husband stayed home with Lil
• 10:15
  Speaker 8: that night, and I think that's probably. I can't remember
• 10:19
  Speaker 8: if we'd introduced formula for feed already. But anyway, I
• 10:22
  Speaker 8: went to the emergency with my sister and were which
• 10:25
  Speaker 8: was fine, but we had to stay in the emergency
• 10:27
  Speaker 8: section the whole night, and we just had this Nona
• 10:30
  Speaker 8: who was next to us in a shared bed that
• 10:31
  Speaker 8: was farting all night, and so Larsa and I was
• 10:34
  Speaker 8: sharing this tiny my sister and I was sharing this
• 10:35
  Speaker 8: tiny single.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Bed, and I was just like, fuck, like I have
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: to have this bres surgery in the morning, but we're
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: laughing out.
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Woman, that was just like coughing and splattering and fine.
• 10:46
  Speaker 8: So that was actually kind of nice because it kind of,
• 10:48
  Speaker 8: you know, made it a bit humorous.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Could be a really dumb question, Yeah, no dumbs. Although
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: there you're.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Infected on this side, can you still feet on this?
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Totally great question. And do you know what's even old?
• 11:06
  Speaker 8: Go one step further, which I hate, still hate the
• 11:09
  Speaker 8: arrogant surgeon that did my breast. I have an issue
• 11:11
  Speaker 8: with surgeons anywayholes. They are assholes, generally generally attack the
• 11:16
  Speaker 8: medical professor.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: I say, generally, are they rural?
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: Are the rural surgeons becaf?
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: This was in a city, but he no.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: I just sometimes I'm like, oh, you just don't.
• 11:29
  Speaker 8: You haven't put yourself in the woman's shoes of five
• 11:31
  Speaker 8: week old baby, first time mum, the stress that this
• 11:35
  Speaker 8: would have.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: So I had the surgery, which was quite full on.
• 11:38
  Speaker 8: I had this packing that went really deep because the
• 11:40
  Speaker 8: infection was like deep behind my nipple. So he came
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: in to do like his check you know, a day
• 11:46
  Speaker 8: or two l I can't remember, and he was like, yeah.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: So it all went well.
• 11:49
  Speaker 8: You know, you should be fine better and you should
• 11:51
  Speaker 8: be able to keep feeding out of that boob. And
• 11:53
  Speaker 8: I was like, oh, okay, yep. So here's me, this
• 11:57
  Speaker 8: hormonal like new mum. It's just wanting to do the
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: best for a child. So I keep trying to feed.
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: I had milk coming out the wound at the top
• 12:06
  Speaker 8: of my bress.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: And yes, I was not this conversation just like you'll
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: be five, keep feeding breast is best.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: So I persisted until it nearly broke me. And then
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: my husband, my.
• 12:27
  Speaker 8: Mom, my mother in law, and my maternal nurse, which
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: God lover were.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: All like stop an intervention.
• 12:33
  Speaker 8: Yeah, you need to stop, and I'm like like this
• 12:37
  Speaker 8: nutcase of but you know, I think a lot of
• 12:39
  Speaker 8: women out there will under will understand.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: The pressure that you feel to breastfeed. It's it's really
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: messed up.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Like what what do you when you're not able to
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: do something that you think would have been so natural?
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: What does that do to your mindset? What kind of
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: place you win?
• 12:56
  Speaker 8: I just think again, it was so long ago now,
• 12:58
  Speaker 8: but at the time, I just felt really like it
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: wasn't like because I'm not usually a person that's like
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: I failed as a mother, but like it's sort of
• 13:07
  Speaker 8: it really did sort of play with your mindset of well,
• 13:12
  Speaker 8: this isn't how it's meant to be, Like why can't
• 13:15
  Speaker 8: I do a simple thing like feeding my own baby?
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Like I just don't understand.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Was it like a sense of failure?
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 13:21
  Speaker 8: And then also you know, to try and persist. And
• 13:25
  Speaker 8: this happened with both because I had mass statists. With
• 13:27
  Speaker 8: my second it didn't go to an abscess thaink God.
• 13:29
  Speaker 8: But then with my with my thirty year ago, I
• 13:32
  Speaker 8: didn't have any masst artists, but I hated breastfeeding anyway,
• 13:35
  Speaker 8: so I made the just my own.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Choice to stop breastfeeding.
• 13:38
  Speaker 8: But even in that, so you know, having children over
• 13:40
  Speaker 8: eight years, I'm thirty seven or whatever. And even when,
• 13:45
  Speaker 8: like I said to my husband, I can't do this anymore.
• 13:47
  Speaker 8: Work so stressful, like the breastfeeding.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: I don't enjoy it. It takes so long.
• 13:50
  Speaker 8: And he was like, well, you know what, why don't
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: you change over to formula? And I was like, oh,
• 13:55
  Speaker 8: I just I can't like And anyway, we made the decision.
• 13:58
  Speaker 8: Why I made the decision to do it, so he
• 13:59
  Speaker 8: was helping me wean off it. Even when my body
• 14:02
  Speaker 8: could still make the milk, even though I'd made the decision,
• 14:04
  Speaker 8: I'd be like, maybe I should just go back to feeding.
• 14:06
  Speaker 8: Maybe I should start pumping again to get my supply up.
• 14:08
  Speaker 8: And he was like, says, you know that our babies
• 14:12
  Speaker 8: are fine, our previous to have been fine. I know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 8: but I just it's and then as soon as your
• 14:16
  Speaker 8: body can't make it fine, like love formula.
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: It's the best.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: It's really screwed up. How it just plays with your mind.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And do you think like there was do you think
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: there's external pressure for mums to have to breastfeed?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Do you think?
• 14:31
  Speaker 9: I think so?
• 14:32
  Speaker 8: But it's so funny you say that because I've never
• 14:34
  Speaker 8: been one to give a shit about what other people
• 14:36
  Speaker 8: think in some senses.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: But with that I was always I didn't think I cared.
• 14:43
  Speaker 8: But maybe, you know, just from societal norms and cultural
• 14:46
  Speaker 8: norms for so long, it's just sub conscious. Maybe I
• 14:49
  Speaker 8: do think that, you know, because i'd find myself justifying
• 14:52
  Speaker 8: it to people. If they're like, oh, you know, are
• 14:53
  Speaker 8: you feeding? Are you breastfeeding, I'd be.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Like, oh, no, formula feed, but I had an abscess.
• 14:58
  Speaker 10: It's like, hey, rech, we know going to the souf
• 15:07
  Speaker 10: market is one of the hardest moments with young kids.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, and it must be even harder when you've got
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: limited vision. With any scenarios in the souper market where
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: it was particularly challenging.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, I.
• 15:21
  Speaker 9: Got run over by this old man on a big
• 15:23
  Speaker 9: mobility skeeter. He made me down and I'm sorry he
• 15:30
  Speaker 9: the old he made me down.
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: You.
• 15:33
  Speaker 9: So I was walking to the twelve items or less
• 15:36
  Speaker 9: oile we missed our cream.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: And then next I was walking with my cane.
• 15:40
  Speaker 9: So I always use my cane when I go into
• 15:43
  Speaker 9: crowded places or the shops, just to let people know,
• 15:47
  Speaker 9: you know, I can't see very well. And then he
• 15:50
  Speaker 9: came down on my right hand side and just rang
• 15:54
  Speaker 9: me down. He ran me down, and I then reversed
• 15:57
  Speaker 9: back and ran over me again, yeah, screaming at me.
• 16:04
  Speaker 9: He's gone, You're as blind as I am, yelling at me,
• 16:07
  Speaker 9: and I'm laying on the floor yelling you, and all
• 16:10
  Speaker 9: I could see was my sour cream on the floor.
• 16:12
  Speaker 9: And then I looked up. All these people were looking
• 16:15
  Speaker 9: at me, and they were staring at me. I was
• 16:17
  Speaker 9: saying to bloody ring me, who said, hang up, ah, sorry.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, So he ran over, then reversed back over and
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: then yelled at you yes.
• 16:29
  Speaker 9: And then all these people were just staring at me.
• 16:32
  Speaker 9: And then this lady come and helped me, and all
• 16:35
  Speaker 9: I could see was her face. I was looking at
• 16:37
  Speaker 9: her face and she helped me up, and she helped
• 16:41
  Speaker 9: me go to the counter to pay for my sour cream.
• 16:44
  Speaker 9: And the lady who works so she said, you're okay, REGI,
• 16:47
  Speaker 9: because I'm a regular down at Woolies.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: And I said no, this man just rang me down.
• 16:52
  Speaker 9: And she goes, what in here? And I said, yeah,
• 16:54
  Speaker 9: in here? And I went and sat outside. I rang
• 16:57
  Speaker 9: me here because I was just with me and we
• 16:58
  Speaker 9: had lunch, and Maya come over to help me and
• 17:02
  Speaker 9: tell her what happened. And then she goes, mom, is
• 17:04
  Speaker 9: that him? And she saw him coming out of Woolli's
• 17:07
  Speaker 9: and I said, chase him.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I said chasing it's a hit and run.
• 17:13
  Speaker 9: Yeah, so she took a photo of his number plate
• 17:17
  Speaker 9: on his scooter and then I after Woolies, they said,
• 17:24
  Speaker 9: after I sit outside and the Woollies lady she said,
• 17:26
  Speaker 9: you want to look at the footage Red and I said, yes,
• 17:28
  Speaker 9: I do know. I said, look, I'll come back tomorrow.
• 17:31
  Speaker 9: And I went back the next day because I was
• 17:32
  Speaker 9: so shook up. And I went back the next day
• 17:35
  Speaker 9: to look at the footage and she said, sorry, it's
• 17:37
  Speaker 9: against our legal rights to show you the footage.
• 17:41
  Speaker 10: She's like, what footage?
• 17:43
  Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, So she said you need to see the
• 17:47
  Speaker 9: police if you want to get the footage. So then
• 17:49
  Speaker 9: I had to go to the police with Rosalind. She
• 17:52
  Speaker 9: took me and we got the footage. And because I
• 17:56
  Speaker 9: just wanted to see what happened, you know, yeah, well
• 18:01
  Speaker 9: I've got the footage.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I'd love to be.
• 18:06
  Speaker 9: One day I will release the footage of me getting
• 18:09
  Speaker 9: mowed down and wallies.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Long story, let me go into the supermarket.
• 18:15
  Speaker 9: But yes, it is hard going to the supermarket. I've
• 18:17
  Speaker 9: now got a favure of bloody mobility scooters.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I see them driving down the road sometimes and like
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: on the footpath little I don't know what's scary. The
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: kids on scooters are the old people on the on
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: the mobility school.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: I'll never be able to look at one the same.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Be careful, I will be.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I can't believe the audacity to run you over, reverse
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: back over the top of you and then yell at you.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: And then run the audacity, Yes, I'd say.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: The second I felt pregnant, I just did not feel
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: like myself. I felt really weird. I felt foggy, I
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: felt anxious. I couldn't see the future. And then it
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: got it got worse and worse, and I think that
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: there were also environmental factors. I was working too hard
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: in that I felt as though my life ended when
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: that baby came out. I thought, you'll never work again.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: You've got till that date to do everything you've ever
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: wanted to do in your career. So I was finishing
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: a book, I was writing an episode of a television show.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: I was recording five podcasts, six podcasts a week. I
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: was going to Melbourne every week for the projects it was.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: It was out of p.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: I look back and go I was flying at thirty
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: weeks thirty six weeks pregnant to Melbourne for a day
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: and wondering, yeah, all the time, and wondering why my
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: body was just And I got married, moved house, all
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: of those things while pregnant, and I just tried to
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: fit too much in and it completely burnt out and
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: I was oh, it was like I was underwater.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I was in a dream.
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: I couldn't feel anything.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: I was totally numb.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Were you communicating this to Luke or anybody else?
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: He ended up actually contacting my obstetrician and midwife and
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: just being like, we do something about this problem in
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: my house and they were fantastic and I saw like
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: a really good.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: Psychiatrist who that was.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: The Other thing is that from about six months I
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: didn't sleep, and not like I had sore hips, like
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: I didn't sleep. It would be four days and I'd
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: be like, that's a fourth night of no sleep.
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: What was it that was stopping you from sleeping? Do
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: you think it was pregnancy?
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: And so near it was hormonal, So it was like
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: my brain could not switch off, and I started hallucinating
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: I start, I would like get up and be like,
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: I can't.
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: Drive to work.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: I'm it's like I've had I'm drunk, Like I can't
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: even stand up right.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: So that was awful.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: And the second the baby came out, I could sleep
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: like I slept better in the postpartum period that I
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: had in Wow, four or five.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Months before we talk about birth.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: When you saw the psychologists, you're still pregnant. Yeah, was
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: there any advice or was anything that you opened up
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: about or.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he said, And I thought this was really helpful
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: that the rates of people acknowledging they're not feeling right
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: in pregnancy and addressing it and then them avoiding postnatal
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: depression are really high, like as in, it's the best
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: thing you can do. Flag it as early as you can,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: even if from the first trimester you're like, oh, I'm
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: not feeling like myself. I'm feeling really anxious. And a
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: lot of people say I cried every day during pregnancy, Like,
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: go and speak.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: To someone, because a lot of women, I assume early
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: on in their pregnancy would just think, Okay, this is
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: just part of it, right, instead of going okay, there's
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: actually something not wrong, yes, And then.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: What often happens is that they're actually signs that can
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: then lead to post natal depression, and if it's untreated,
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: then you can wake up a year later and go,
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: I just lost a year with my baby because I
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: just felt like shit and none of that. That cloud
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: was like a cloud and excite, like exciting, amazing things
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: would happen, and it was like I just couldn't. I
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: couldn't touch it, I couldn't access I could have won
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: the lottery and I would have been like, you can't
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: muster a feeling about that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: You just feel like I couldn't connect with anything.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, really like, And I thought, did that help?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Did you light in your workload? Did that help it all?
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: No?
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: I didn't.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: It would have though a psychologist.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: No, what helped was increasing the dosage of medication was
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: definitely good. And he gave me sleeping aids because the
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: issue is that they are very reluctant to give you
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: anything that will help you sleep in case it impacts
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: the baby. But good psychiatrists, you know, have all the
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: research and they know what's worth it, because yeah, it's
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: not safe to have a breagnant.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: Woman walking around who hasn't slept. It's not good for anyone.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: So he was he was fantastic and really prepared.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Now for that. What's it like growing up for yourself,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Like what's your perception of being put up for adoption?
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: Did that weigh on you in a heavy way or
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: was it just the norm?
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: And it didn't really nah, because my birth mum wrote
• 23:07
  Speaker 7: a letter that was like dear Ryan, when you're old
• 23:11
  Speaker 7: enough to understand sort of thing. And she was from
• 23:14
  Speaker 7: like a really rough area. It was one of eight kids,
• 23:17
  Speaker 7: and the eight kids shared like three single beds, like
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: it was a rough and rough area, drugs crime, and
• 23:25
  Speaker 7: she was like adamant that she wasn't going to like
• 23:27
  Speaker 7: pass that on to the next generation. So she was
• 23:29
  Speaker 7: actually twenty eight when she gave birth to me, and
• 23:32
  Speaker 7: I grew up just assuming probably like it's probably terrible
• 23:35
  Speaker 7: to say, but I just like assume she was like
• 23:37
  Speaker 7: seventeen or you know, yeah, yeah. But now she was
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: twenty eight and she was going to night school and
• 23:41
  Speaker 7: she was like, I'm going to better myself and if
• 23:42
  Speaker 7: I have a family, they're not going to be born
• 23:44
  Speaker 7: into this community. They're not going to have the childhood
• 23:46
  Speaker 7: I had. And she was just so adamant that like, no,
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: my child, I don't want the life that I had
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: for my child. So she gets accidentally pregnant, and she's
• 23:56
  Speaker 7: just like, oh, this is the kind of stuff people
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: from here. They get accidentally pregnant and they were going
• 24:02
  Speaker 7: to change the world, and well now we just struggle
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: on and that just happens again and again. And she
• 24:07
  Speaker 7: was just so determined that that was not going to
• 24:09
  Speaker 7: be the case. And so she was also living in
• 24:12
  Speaker 7: a sharehouse and she was just more than others, just
• 24:16
  Speaker 7: like a child needs two parents, and she didn't know
• 24:20
  Speaker 7: my birth father and like they sort of that one time,
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: and she was like, well, this is not for me.
• 24:26
  Speaker 7: And I think also by the time she realized like
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: when you're trying, you're kind of checking. She didn't know
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: she was pregnant until way into it, and I think
• 24:35
  Speaker 7: it was like past the point of no return. Yeah,
• 24:38
  Speaker 7: and so she was like, well, this kid's gonna have
• 24:41
  Speaker 7: to be born. I don't want them growing up in there.
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: And so I always go, oh, you've done me this
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: huge favor. So it wasn't like how could you do
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: this to me? I was always like, thank you for
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: doing that for me, And so I was never like
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: never once was like what the fuck? And it was
• 24:55
  Speaker 7: actually the opposite, Like she felt a bit guilty afterwards,
• 24:59
  Speaker 7: and a lot of birth mums feel guilt, And the
• 25:02
  Speaker 7: only reason I wanted to meet her really was just
• 25:04
  Speaker 7: go like, you don't need to feel guilty, Like all good,
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: I've like hit the jackpot over here with my family,
• 25:10
  Speaker 7: Like I hope you go and marry someone, have a
• 25:13
  Speaker 7: family of your own and kind of forget about me
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: and the nicest way possible.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Do you remember when you got that letter?
• 25:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah, well again, I was in the drawer always, but
• 25:23
  Speaker 7: I wasn't old enough to read it, and I'm not
• 25:28
  Speaker 7: actually very good at reading still, so it actually a
• 25:31
  Speaker 7: few more use the name, but I've still got it.
• 25:33
  Speaker 7: It's like a yellow booklet and it's go a little
• 25:35
  Speaker 7: ribbon and it's like dear Ryan. It's called Ryan's Story.
• 25:37
  Speaker 7: And they kind of said, yeah, you know, my brothers
• 25:40
  Speaker 7: are this tall, and we back for Collingwood and all
• 25:42
  Speaker 7: this stuff and kind of.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was it was pretty nice.
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: And then she kind of explained like the circumstances, and
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: I think when you kind of hear that side of
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: the story, you kind of go, oh, like it's actually
• 25:55
  Speaker 7: quite selfless. It's not like, yeah, she couldn't be bothered
• 25:58
  Speaker 7: or she did the calling off period, but the final
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: like not that we need any evidence, but like in
• 26:05
  Speaker 7: terms of being selfless. I actually had surgery when I
• 26:08
  Speaker 7: was three days old on my hip.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Hip's no good man, Yeah, he's no good I wonder.
• 26:15
  Speaker 7: Or something' is that a hip hernia? I don't know,
• 26:17
  Speaker 7: but I came out of the surgery and they're like, oh,
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: like the baby's gonna be fine, but like he's going
• 26:21
  Speaker 7: to be sore, and so he just like needs lots
• 26:24
  Speaker 7: of hugs and cuddles from his family, and the nurse
• 26:26
  Speaker 7: is like, well, he doesn't have family yet. So she
• 26:28
  Speaker 7: actually my birth mother, July came back to the hospital
• 26:31
  Speaker 7: like after doing the traumatic like believing she like came
• 26:36
  Speaker 7: back and just like sat in the chair for two
• 26:38
  Speaker 7: days just to like kind of hold me while I
• 26:40
  Speaker 7: was a bit and tender. And so you're going to go, oh,
• 26:44
  Speaker 7: like she cared and she was doing the right thing
• 26:46
  Speaker 7: and there's no like and I'm like, yeah, you can't
• 26:49
  Speaker 7: be angry. Amazing.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed this episode. And you know, I
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: go to bed at nighttime with one thought on my
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: mind and thought is Gosh, He's love of God?
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: Where's Ash?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I hope these listeners enjoyed this episode, and I just
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: don't know. There's no way of answering that question.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Unless you leave a review on Spotify.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: We get lots of reviews on Spotify. Actually we get
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: a lot more on Spotify than we do have a podcasts.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: But maybe, maybe, just maybe, if you haven't left us
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: a review, we would love just a couple of little words,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: what kind of words?
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Or you can join us on socials, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: and YouTube.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: Shall we get out of here?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Plan's good out here because we need to go back
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: to our holiday. We're currently in Jamaica.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: Making me crazy, all right?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: But Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: peoples today.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: This episode was recorded on gadagal Land