Latest / Matt and Alex / Matt Gets Scammed

Transcript

Matt Gets Scammed · Matt and Alex

• 0:02
  S1: A listener production.
• 0:04
  S2: Like Finding That Up shop bargain. These boys come every
• 0:09
  S2: one and maybe need a wash. Oh my word. It's
• 0:13
  S2: Matt and Alex all day.
• 0:15
  S3: Breakfast. Well, it was bound to happen. We've almost had
• 0:20
  S3: a thousand shows, and I would say they've all been 100% seamless.
• 0:26
  S3: But you are listening to all day breakfast right now
• 0:28
  S3: without a Matt Aucoin in the room. That's right. It's
• 0:31
  S3: just me, Alex Dyson, doing a last minute emergency intro
• 0:36
  S3: for you because we realized something happened and we recorded
• 0:41
  S3: the intro for you for Tuesday. It all went okay
• 0:45
  S3: until Matt, I think, in the words of producer Braun,
• 0:48
  S3: said something fully inappropriate and we can't put that to air.
• 0:54
  S4: Let's not do this. And and also, why don't you
• 0:59
  S4: delete that? Um, just delete it.
• 1:02
  S5: Show.
• 1:04
  S3: The problem is we then forgot to rerecord it, and
• 1:08
  S3: so all we were left with is an inappropriate introduction.
• 1:11
  S3: So that's why myself, Alex, are jumping on the mic
• 1:14
  S3: here to let you know that we've got a great
• 1:16
  S3: show on for you today. Um, it's going to be
• 1:19
  S3: a hot take. Um, we're also doing some ask Alex, and, uh,
• 1:23
  S3: Matt was scammed a little bit. So you're gonna be
• 1:26
  S3: hearing that Matt will be joining us for the full show, but, um,
• 1:29
  S3: until then, the Tuesday intro for today, we'll just go
• 1:34
  S3: down in history as, like, you know, those movies where
• 1:38
  S3: they need you to release the deck. Director's cut. Maybe
• 1:40
  S3: one day, you know, in three decades time, people will
• 1:43
  S3: be begging. Please release the Tuesday intro from episode 987
• 1:48
  S3: or something like that. Um, but until then, you're stuck
• 1:51
  S3: with this. Um, if you do want to come to
• 1:53
  S3: our thousandth show, it's on at Comedy Republic on Wednesday
• 1:55
  S3: the 20th of March, so come and hang out. We
• 1:59
  S3: only get to do those intros once, so you'll be
• 2:02
  S3: in the room to see whatever happens to that one.
• 2:05
  S3: But look. Until then, please enjoy this wonderful edition of
• 2:08
  S3: Matt and Alex all day. Breakfast. Um, let's jump into it.
• 2:11
  S6: Let's get this show on the road.
• 2:12
  S7: Let's go. Here we go, here we go, here we go.
• 2:14
  S2: Matt and Alex all day. Breakfast.
• 2:19
  S3: We like getting a few spicy opinions here on Matt
• 2:21
  S3: and Alex all day breakfast. Last week on Hot Take
• 2:25
  S3: It Away, I suggested that, uh, garbage people, people who
• 2:29
  S3: pick up our rubbish and recycling should swap salaries with CEOs.
• 2:34
  S3: They bring a lot more to the country, in my
• 2:36
  S3: humble opinion. Matt Keane.
• 2:37
  S5: Look, we are not the only ones with hot takes
• 2:40
  S5: around this dear country. We've got some friends who listen
• 2:44
  S5: to the show who, like you, have got some opinions
• 2:47
  S5: of their own. And one of those people is on
• 2:50
  S5: the phone with us right now. It's a big hello
• 2:53
  S5: to Phoebe. Hello.
• 2:55
  S8: How are you doing?
• 2:55
  S3: Really good. Phoebe has Adelaide today.
• 2:58
  S8: Very good. It's actually beautiful. Sunny weather. Fringe is going on. Um, Alex,
• 3:05
  S8: I think you would be liking Adelaide today, regardless of
• 3:09
  S8: what you've been saying in the past. Well.
• 3:11
  S5: Yeah. You made some enemies, man.
• 3:13
  S3: I 100% know I would be because I've been to
• 3:16
  S3: Adelaide during Fringe Garden of Earthly Delights. We've done raves
• 3:21
  S3: in Adelaide. I do like Adelaide. I said a joke.
• 3:24
  S3: The feedback wasn't great. I reckon we're going to save
• 3:25
  S3: this for Friday's correspondent segment, Alex's Mailbag. Uh, but.
• 3:30
  S5: Yes, the aloe vera.
• 3:32
  S3: Being splashed.
• 3:33
  S5: On.
• 3:33
  S3: Spicy messages, speaking of hot topics are there. But until then, Phoebe,
• 3:38
  S3: you actually have an opinion that you think the world
• 3:41
  S3: needs to get on board. So officially here. Phoebe. Hot.
• 3:45
  S3: Take it away. Hot take.
• 3:48
  S8: Take this. Um, yeah. My hot take was that, um.
• 3:52
  S8: Aeroplane food is actually delicious and adorable.
• 3:56
  S3: Both delicious and, okay, adorable.
• 4:01
  S5: Now, look, there's two sides to this coin. Um, one
• 4:04
  S5: is that airplane food has been the butt of many
• 4:06
  S5: jokes for decades, especially in the standup comedy circles.
• 4:11
  S3: Um, airplane food has been the Adelaide of cuisine for
• 4:15
  S3: a long time. Just a punching bag.
• 4:17
  S5: Okay.
• 4:18
  S8: So you mean fantastic? Is that. Is that what you're saying?
• 4:21
  S8: It's like it's the best.
• 4:22
  S3: That's what I'm saying.
• 4:23
  S8: Cuisine.
• 4:25
  S3: Potentially unfairly. So. Tell us why you like airplane food.
• 4:30
  S8: It's mainly the low expectation for the airplane food. You're
• 4:35
  S8: not like the air hostess has come out with that
• 4:40
  S8: tiny little skinny trolley. And they, you know, they bring
• 4:44
  S8: out this tiny little platters and you think, oh, how
• 4:48
  S8: good can this be? And then you open it up
• 4:50
  S8: and you're like, oh, this is actually like a three
• 4:52
  S8: course meal. It's satisfying, it's tasty, and it feels free
• 4:55
  S8: because you paid for the flight like months in advance.
• 4:59
  S8: What I do anyway, whenever I fly. So it kind
• 5:01
  S8: of feels like a free meal. So anything that you
• 5:03
  S8: think you're getting for free, it's, ah, it's actually pretty awesome.
• 5:07
  S5: Yeah. Look, I mean, it's not known for its grand flavors,
• 5:10
  S5: but it is the novelty that you enjoy it. I
• 5:13
  S5: don't mind, and, you know, they give you a little.
• 5:15
  S5: You're right. They usually give you a little salad on
• 5:17
  S5: the side, a little bread roll. You've got your sort
• 5:20
  S5: of meat chicken or veg.
• 5:22
  S8: Desserts are always fantastic. And then like the peanuts and
• 5:26
  S8: then they come around with, you know, would you like
• 5:27
  S8: a glass of wine? Of course I would like a
• 5:29
  S8: glass of wine with my meal. Everything's always so tiny
• 5:32
  S8: and cute. It's like the teeny tiny little waters and
• 5:36
  S8: orange juices and. Yeah.
• 5:38
  S3: Yeah, I gotta say, whenever there's a bread roll, uh,
• 5:41
  S3: the texture of the bread, it's never very, very good, though.
• 5:46
  S3: It's like they've.
• 5:46
  S5: Carved off one of the planes tires and chucked it
• 5:49
  S5: on the, uh, chucked a bit of butter on it. Phoebe,
• 5:52
  S5: here's my issue with it. You're always cramped. It's too
• 5:55
  S5: difficult to do the knife and fork thing when your
• 5:58
  S5: hands are old, like chicken wings up by the side
• 6:01
  S5: of you.
• 6:02
  S8: Yeah, this is true. But there's no expectation that you're
• 6:06
  S8: going to be, like, looking nice or, you know, like,
• 6:11
  S8: I think that's the thing is that you can just
• 6:13
  S8: be a total slob you crammed in with, like, you know,
• 6:16
  S8: hundreds of other people. Um, you're watching, you know, some movie.
• 6:20
  S8: It's not rude to be watching a movie, having your
• 6:22
  S8: headphones on while you're sitting next to your partner eating
• 6:24
  S8: your meal. It's it's the dream.
• 6:26
  S5: No, I see you're you know, what you're in love
• 6:28
  S5: with is the the the destination, the thought. You're going somewhere,
• 6:32
  S5: you know, you've got this great place. Are you going
• 6:35
  S5: to end up? They could literally hand you a dead
• 6:38
  S5: pigeon and you'd be like, oh, this is exciting because
• 6:41
  S5: you're going on holiday, Phoebe. We're all happy. When we
• 6:43
  S5: going on holiday.
• 6:44
  S3: We get to pluck it ourselves. Beautiful.
• 6:47
  S5: But here's. But here's the thing. Here's my hot take.
• 6:49
  S5: We need to scrap the domestic meals. All right, when
• 6:54
  S5: you're flying Melbourne is Sydney or Sydney to Brisbane. No,
• 6:57
  S5: I don't want a soggy sausage roll. Just give me
• 7:02
  S5: $5 back. Do you know what I mean? Like, if
• 7:04
  S5: you if the flight attendants came walk down the aisle
• 7:07
  S5: and they were like, do you want a butter chicken
• 7:10
  S5: puff or just $5? I'd be like, $5. Please give
• 7:15
  S5: me my money. That's I'm a fly.
• 7:18
  S8: I never really fly within Australia. Like, we just drive
• 7:21
  S8: to wherever we have to see family. So my only
• 7:24
  S8: real experience with in-flight meals is flying to Europe. And
• 7:28
  S8: that like you get, you get 2 or 3, like
• 7:31
  S8: pretty decent meals. Um, and that is a long flight
• 7:34
  S8: and it's extremely tedious. So when they bring around a meal,
• 7:37
  S8: it's like, oh my God, we're on here. Like, it's
• 7:39
  S8: the most exciting thing about the whole flight.
• 7:42
  S5: Yeah, they've got a captive audience.
• 7:43
  S3: Now, I think the real test of this, uh, take Phoebe,
• 7:47
  S3: is if you were to be served the exact same food.
• 7:52
  S3: In a different context. If you went out to dinner, okay,
• 7:56
  S3: you're sitting around a table with friends. You've ordered the
• 7:59
  S3: bottle of wine that started off. They put the meal
• 8:03
  S3: in front of you. What would you say about the
• 8:07
  S3: quote unquote food then?
• 8:10
  S8: Oh, look, um, uh, out of context, possibly not quite
• 8:16
  S8: as delicious. Still very.
• 8:18
  S5: Cute. Maybe you'd be there going. How did I end
• 8:21
  S5: up in jail? Is that where I am right now?
• 8:23
  S5: Why am I eating these little cut up beans with
• 8:26
  S5: this tiny plastic fork?
• 8:28
  S8: Look, if I if I could go through life and
• 8:31
  S8: not have to think about my meals and just have
• 8:33
  S8: a lovely woman walk up next to me and say hello, darling.
• 8:37
  S8: Would you like the pastoral, the beef, like, oh yeah,
• 8:39
  S8: and I'll have the pasta. Thank you. And she serves
• 8:41
  S8: it in front of me that that's ideal that I
• 8:44
  S8: would live my life that way.
• 8:45
  S3: That is good. And I actually I quite agree with
• 8:48
  S3: you here, Phoebe. It is quite nice to get it,
• 8:49
  S3: but you're right, when it comes to expectations, you know,
• 8:52
  S3: we expect it to be bad. So that's why it's like, oh,
• 8:54
  S3: this is this isn't too bad at all. Which is
• 8:56
  S3: why I think they should extend that to the names
• 8:59
  S3: they give the airplane food when they bring it down
• 9:01
  S3: the aisle, because usually they say, oh, would you like the, um,
• 9:04
  S3: the Bolognese or would you like the, you know, a
• 9:07
  S3: carrot risotto or something like Margot? But if they came
• 9:10
  S3: out and said, would you like the tepid slop, you'd
• 9:13
  S3: get it. And you go, oh, it's not all that tepid.
• 9:16
  S3: You know, there's this there's a little bit of it's
• 9:20
  S3: not as sloppy as I thought it would be, judging
• 9:22
  S3: by the name.
• 9:24
  S8: So maybe, maybe I've gotten lucky. I've never had the
• 9:28
  S8: same food.
• 9:29
  S5: Phoebe, we're on board as well. We are on board.
• 9:32
  S5: We've scanned our tickets. We're ready to take off with you. I.
• 9:35
  S3: And the more people that disagree with you on this segment,
• 9:37
  S3: the better as well. Phoebe, because it is all about rough,
• 9:40
  S3: icy hot takes, even if the food is really spicy
• 9:46
  S3: and only 50% hot.
• 9:48
  S8: Lukewarm. Yeah.
• 9:51
  S5: Thanks very much Phoebe.
• 9:53
  S8: Cool. Thanks guys.
• 9:55
  S3: And if you want to get in touch with a
• 9:57
  S3: hot take, slide in the DMs, Matt and Alex and
• 10:00
  S3: let us know what controversial opinion you think the world
• 10:03
  S3: needs to know. We'll be addressing another one next week.
• 10:06
  S9: About the mouth map. Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau
• 10:10
  S9: Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau
• 10:13
  S9: Mau Mau.
• 10:15
  S10: Oh, I almost got scammed.
• 10:17
  S5: I so.
• 10:18
  S3: Oh, who's trying to scam you, buddy? Brisbane Broncos stop.
• 10:23
  S5: The Broncos.
• 10:24
  S3: Mate. I'm trying to sell you a membership to heartbreak.
• 10:27
  S5: I only just recovered from last year. Now we're back.
• 10:30
  S5: Big season ahead. Can't wait. No, someone called and said, hey, um,
• 10:34
  S5: did you just buy, you know, purchase a $500 gift
• 10:36
  S5: card in your eBay account? And I said no. And
• 10:38
  S5: they said, oh, it's lucky we've caught you. Then, um,
• 10:41
  S5: you know, we've just we've just seen this thing. We
• 10:43
  S5: knew it wasn't you because you're not in California. Um,
• 10:47
  S5: so we're just going to cancel it. I'm going to
• 10:49
  S5: send you a message so that we can do that.
• 10:51
  S5: Open up your eBay app. Has it been sent through yet?
• 10:53
  S5: And I said, um, nope, haven't got it. And they go, okay,
• 10:57
  S5: no worries, don't worry. This usually happens. You're just going
• 10:59
  S5: to need to go to the, um, app store and
• 11:01
  S5: download the following app. Um, just type in and y
• 11:06
  S5: d e s k. And I was like any desk
• 11:10
  S5: that's sus as.
• 11:15
  S3: That does sound sus. What happened.
• 11:17
  S5: There? Well, I just said, uh, actually I won't be
• 11:20
  S5: doing that because that sounds like scamming software. Goodbye. And
• 11:24
  S5: then I hung up and then I had to double
• 11:26
  S5: check both my eBay account and any desk to make
• 11:29
  S5: sure that I was on track and I was on track.
• 11:32
  S5: Any desk is a remote software. A remote access software app. Yeah.
• 11:37
  S5: So people can get into your phone and start doing it,
• 11:39
  S5: but I just, I just thought that's they they got
• 11:42
  S5: me that far, you know.
• 11:44
  S3: Well, I got a call the other day from someone's like, oh,
• 11:46
  S3: it's from Uber. This is about your recent correspondence. Um, um,
• 11:51
  S3: do you have a moment to talk about it? I'm like, no,
• 11:53
  S3: thank you. Hang up. Because I got this weird email
• 11:57
  S3: about it as well with the weird Uber address. And
• 11:59
  S3: I'm like, no, I haven't been complaining to Uber. This
• 12:03
  S3: is not happening. Then in my actual Uber app, I
• 12:06
  S3: got a message. I'm like, hmm, how did they get
• 12:10
  S3: into the actual app? I'm like, I think this guy
• 12:15
  S3: I hung up on thinking he was a scammer probably
• 12:17
  S3: actually worked there, but good bye sir. Anyway, apologies to
• 12:22
  S3: that guy.
• 12:23
  S5: What was the app? What was the message?
• 12:25
  S3: Um. Oh, let's have a look. How do you find
• 12:29
  S3: your messages services? Activity. Account. Personal. Messages. I don't know
• 12:41
  S3: what's going. Business hub. No, not then. I just got
• 12:48
  S3: a 4.83 rating so I can find.
• 12:51
  S5: Oh, I gotta check my writing. I haven't been rated
• 12:53
  S5: for years. I haven't checked it 4.83. Hey, um, I
• 12:57
  S5: expected more from you. Alex Dyson.
• 12:58
  S3: I was 4.84 at one stage, but I must have
• 13:01
  S3: had a shocker.
• 13:02
  S5: Okay, let's see where I'm at these days. Well, I'm
• 13:07
  S5: at 4.84.80 flat. Yeah, but the fact that we're, you know,
• 13:12
  S5: only that far apart, it just goes to show that
• 13:14
  S5: you're not that much better than me, Dyson.
• 13:18
  S3: I mean.
• 13:18
  S5: Certainly not as much as you think you are.
• 13:21
  S3: Oh, 3%.
• 13:22
  S5: Better. Yeah. No, that's not enough, mate. That is not enough. Brian,
• 13:26
  S5: what are you.
• 13:27
  S4: I'm a 4.74.
• 13:31
  S3: Oh, wow. Who would have thought brawn would be the rudest,
• 13:35
  S3: most disruptive? You know what it is.
• 13:38
  S4: You know what it is.
• 13:39
  S5: I know exactly what it is.
• 13:40
  S3: A member of this team.
• 13:42
  S4: I'm not wearing it.
• 13:43
  S5: No, you. You sit here and you have to. You
• 13:46
  S5: have to, you know, just be nice and and, you know,
• 13:51
  S5: I really don't. Working all through the podcast that when
• 13:54
  S5: you walk out this door, you just let rip to
• 13:57
  S5: the first person that you see.
• 14:00
  S3: The first.
• 14:01
  S5: Person that.
• 14:02
  S3: Sees you after work.
• 14:03
  S4: You're done.
• 14:04
  S3: Absolute earful. You know what it is?
• 14:07
  S4: I reckon I've paid for Ubers before when my friends
• 14:11
  S4: have been absolutely minted.
• 14:14
  S3: Yeah, and that's the most dangerous thing of the 21st century.
• 14:17
  S5: I would never do it. I'd put him in a
• 14:18
  S5: cab instead. And then.
• 14:20
  S4: I have to deal.
• 14:21
  S3: With this.
• 14:23
  S4: The bad writing, being a good friend and ordering the
• 14:26
  S4: Uber good friend.
• 14:27
  S3: Bad writing. Do you think the worse the rating, the
• 14:29
  S3: better the friend?
• 14:30
  S4: I think so.
• 14:32
  S5: I will never forget the message that we got from
• 14:35
  S5: someone who said, I got a zero star, um, Uber
• 14:39
  S5: rating from one driver because I put my friend in
• 14:41
  S5: the back of an Uber and they spilt their pippins
• 14:44
  S5: in XO sauce in the back.
• 14:47
  S3: Why were they carrying Pepys?
• 14:50
  S5: Pepys in XO. You couldn't get two things worse to spill. Um,
• 14:57
  S5: so we asked you what was the cause of your
• 14:59
  S5: bad writing?
• 15:00
  S3: David got in touch. My mate threw up into a
• 15:02
  S3: paper bag, and then the bag disintegrated. Yeah, you need
• 15:07
  S3: that structural integrity. Don't you begin to vomit an Uber.
• 15:10
  S3: You just. You want to have the time.
• 15:12
  S5: Where you say plastic over paper? Yeah. You know, when
• 15:15
  S5: they ask. Yeah. Um, Candice said my brother dropped his
• 15:18
  S5: guts in the rideshare car just before we got out. Yeah.
• 15:21
  S5: You don't want to leave that sort of tip for
• 15:23
  S5: your driver, do ya?
• 15:25
  S3: Absolutely not. Uh, Jimmy, my mates give me one star
• 15:28
  S3: reviews every time I list something on marketplace.
• 15:32
  S5: Oh, no.
• 15:34
  S3: That's brutal. Jimmy.
• 15:36
  S5: Yeah. Ditch those mates, Jimmy.
• 15:40
  S3: Yeah, I know that would look super dodgy. Like you
• 15:42
  S3: go to buy something from a seller. It's one star.
• 15:45
  S5: Everything's one stock.
• 15:47
  S11: Oh, no.
• 15:48
  S5: I trust those rates like, I. I put my faith
• 15:52
  S5: in those, in those ratings as well. Absolutely. Someone doesn't
• 15:55
  S5: have five stars. I'm I'm sus ass. That's it. So, Jimmy,
• 15:58
  S5: these your maids are costing you big dollars.
• 16:01
  S3: And Tess has given us a call as well. Tess,
• 16:03
  S3: what was the reason for your bad rating?
• 16:06
  S12: Ah. So, um, I'm a trainer, and I train a
• 16:10
  S12: bunch of different things. One of the things being a
• 16:12
  S12: two day course in mental health. So mental health first aid,
• 16:15
  S12: really great course. And at the end of every course
• 16:19
  S12: everyone gets to give feedback on, you know, the content,
• 16:21
  S12: how their facilitator was and any areas for improvement.
• 16:25
  S3: Right. So it sort of helps you see how what
• 16:27
  S3: people are getting out of it and helps you adjust
• 16:29
  S3: and make the course better every time.
• 16:31
  S12: Yeah, 100%, you know, because you want to stay on
• 16:33
  S12: the ball and make it as good as you can.
• 16:35
  S12: So I've got a pretty decent track record. It's not
• 16:39
  S12: sort of go, okay, the course itself is really good. Anyway,
• 16:42
  S12: a couple of years ago I was just getting into
• 16:43
  S12: the facilitating and did a course. I thought it went really,
• 16:47
  S12: really well, got all the feedback a couple of days
• 16:49
  S12: later and someone's giving me one out of five stars.
• 16:52
  S3: Oh man.
• 16:53
  S5: I mean, that's I mean often people, people really rate
• 16:57
  S5: emotive Lee, don't they? I mean, like because very rarely
• 17:01
  S5: is anything actually only worth one out of five stars because.
• 17:05
  S3: I'm sure that's the minimum what you could have given
• 17:07
  S3: as well.
• 17:08
  S12: Like it was, it was a 1 to 5 thing.
• 17:10
  S12: And I was like, well, they left alive. The room
• 17:13
  S12: wasn't on fire. Everything like I was. I was so
• 17:17
  S12: intrigued because I just saw, like the spreadsheet of, okay,
• 17:20
  S12: you've got five out of five for everything, but there's
• 17:22
  S12: one out of five, and what is that? So I
• 17:25
  S12: had to scroll through all their feedback and everything. They
• 17:28
  S12: said everything was great. They loved the course. They love
• 17:29
  S12: the content. I thought I did a good job, got
• 17:32
  S12: to the end. And they've said, I'm really disappointed with
• 17:34
  S12: the selection of lollies that you've had on the tables.
• 17:37
  S12: I really don't like mentees and fan tales which are
• 17:40
  S12: now extinct, by the way. Um, I just I really
• 17:43
  S12: felt it impacted negatively on my experience and I was
• 17:46
  S12: just like.
• 17:47
  S13: Oh no.
• 17:49
  S5: Oh.
• 17:51
  S3: So so that dropped them four stars down. It wasn't
• 17:55
  S3: that it was close to perfection. So I'll give you
• 17:58
  S3: four out of five.
• 17:59
  S5: It was minty. They got stuck in their teeth. That's
• 18:01
  S5: what it is.
• 18:02
  S12: It was disastrous. And I honestly, I, I felt like
• 18:06
  S12: it was a joke and I've sort of looked back
• 18:08
  S12: through their feedback, but they've definitely given me, um, a
• 18:11
  S12: poor rating purely because of the lollies that I've put
• 18:14
  S12: out of my own pocket on the tables to get
• 18:16
  S12: us through the two days.
• 18:17
  S3: So the option that they didn't realise they also had
• 18:20
  S3: was no lollies. You were doing that out of the
• 18:22
  S3: kindness of your heart.
• 18:23
  S12: Yeah, 100%. I guess I should just never underestimate what's
• 18:27
  S12: important to people. But far up man, it really brought
• 18:29
  S12: my aggregate down and I'm really supported.
• 18:32
  S5: Hey, do you know, you know, the old slogan for
• 18:35
  S5: mentees was it's moments like these you need mints. And
• 18:37
  S5: I feel like. I really feel like it's moments like these.
• 18:41
  S5: I hope you had a mint.
• 18:42
  S12: So true. Oh, my eyes are now extinct too.
• 18:46
  S3: Yeah, maybe just too many cost. Too many people. Too
• 18:48
  S3: many jobs. On their performance reviews. Did it get to
• 18:51
  S3: the higher ups? Did anyone look back through and go,
• 18:54
  S3: you know your average is not looking too crash hot
• 18:56
  S3: here at the moment? Tess.
• 18:57
  S12: Fortunately, everyone else's ratings kind of put me in a
• 19:00
  S12: decent spot. It never got flagged and I just never
• 19:02
  S12: said anything because I was like, I don't want anyone
• 19:04
  S12: to look into this. It just felt so ridiculous. And
• 19:06
  S12: I was embarrassed. Um, but yeah, it was so dumb.
• 19:10
  S5: What lollies were they wanting? Do they say? Because there's
• 19:14
  S5: no point.
• 19:15
  S12: Um, I did remember hearing someone being like, oh, I
• 19:17
  S12: really prefer, like, jellybeans and snakes and like, that kind
• 19:21
  S12: of thing. But this, again, was just after Covid, so
• 19:24
  S12: I'd gone the extra mile and gone, I'm going to
• 19:25
  S12: get stuff that's individually wrapped to try and save, like,
• 19:28
  S12: you know, passing of germs on, you know, different hands
• 19:31
  S12: on lollies. And it's just blown up in my face
• 19:34
  S12: with this one, you know. So.
• 19:37
  S3: Oh goodness me. Well thank you. It's a five out
• 19:40
  S3: of five phone call for me. Thank you so much
• 19:42
  S3: for jumping on an all day breakfast. And we'll talk
• 19:44
  S3: to you soon.
• 19:45
  S12: Thank you.
• 20:00
  S14: Hear me? Alex?
• 20:01
  S15: Alex, can I ask you a question? It's called.
• 20:04
  S16: Ask Alex.
• 20:05
  S3: Yes. When I close my eyes and go to sleep
• 20:08
  S3: at night, I hear the cries from around Australia. Alex! Alex,
• 20:11
  S3: please help me. Alex. Alex, what do I do? And
• 20:14
  S3: it's all because I used to be the, um, romance
• 20:17
  S3: counsellor and girlfriend magazine. So, um, I'm brushing off the
• 20:22
  S3: the accreditation and helping you out with your issues. Aaron,
• 20:27
  S3: this week says, Alex, what are some ways to meet
• 20:29
  S3: a romantic partner without using dating apps?
• 20:32
  S5: Ah, this is a good question. So, uh, as someone
• 20:35
  S5: who has been recently single, um, you you've got some
• 20:40
  S5: experience in this. You've dabbled in the apps, but you've
• 20:43
  S5: also done the traditional elements. Yeah, I'll.
• 20:46
  S3: Try and go through history of the people who I've met. Um,
• 20:51
  S3: I met doing a musical one time. So if you
• 20:54
  S3: want to sign yourself up for some amateur theatre, okay.
• 20:57
  S3: I mean, because we're nerds, but tell you what, there's
• 20:59
  S3: a few horny nerds out there, um, maybe one of
• 21:04
  S3: them at the time. And there's a good place to meet.
• 21:05
  S3: But you're in the cast, you're dancing, you're singing together.
• 21:08
  S3: A bit of acting. Okay, maybe you could get a role, right?
• 21:13
  S3: In which that you're a romantic partner with someone that
• 21:15
  S3: gets the juices flowing. Although then you've got the issue
• 21:18
  S3: of my my bad one over the years. It's funny
• 21:20
  S3: because I went out with a girl in U9. We
• 21:22
  S3: went out for about six months or something like that.
• 21:26
  S3: And then years later at university, we went to the
• 21:28
  S3: same college. We're in the same musical together. We'd broken up,
• 21:31
  S3: but we got roles in which we had to kiss
• 21:33
  S3: at the end of a scene or more, as my
• 21:36
  S3: girlfriend at the time was also in the cast. Didn't
• 21:39
  S3: really like that. Oh, so if you. Yes, that's the
• 21:44
  S3: way to make your romantic partner. But just be wary, okay?
• 21:47
  S5: Because the love triangle could really turn into a real
• 21:50
  S5: life Streetcar Named Desire.
• 21:52
  S3: And then buddy James Taylor, who's on the lighting on
• 21:55
  S3: the last night because you meant to kiss. And then
• 21:57
  S3: the lights go out. He deliberately holds the lights up
• 21:59
  S3: on us. So we've just got to be on stage there,
• 22:02
  S3: smooching until the lights go down. And he's just keeping
• 22:04
  S3: them up because he's a bloody dog. Anyway, I'm over it. Um,
• 22:10
  S3: so we've got musicals there. Um, music festival. I met
• 22:14
  S3: someone at, um, actually, if you want to go to
• 22:16
  S3: the Chinchilla Watermelon Festival. I met a girlfriend there at
• 22:20
  S3: one point. Mhm. Um, which is pretty good, although probably
• 22:24
  S3: not at the event, which I'm not sure they're still
• 22:27
  S3: doing in 2024, but I was certainly doing midway through
• 22:30
  S3: the 20 tens, which was the Miss Melons competition. Uh,
• 22:34
  S3: now that is where a group of girls, uh, predominantly
• 22:39
  S3: all that I saw, um, got up on stage and.
• 22:44
  S3: Were judged upon their melons, which referred to their body parts,
• 22:49
  S3: their upper body parts. Now, I thought the first time
• 22:52
  S3: I went there that this would be done in quite
• 22:54
  S3: a tasteful way.
• 22:57
  S5: Ah, the gin chiller. Watermelon. What about.
• 23:00
  S3: Miss Melons? It was hosted by someone who, I believe
• 23:03
  S3: introduced himself as the host of the breakfast show, the
• 23:07
  S3: local breakfast show, which I think was called the Rock
• 23:10
  S3: FM from memory. And I thought, okay, well, he'll go
• 23:13
  S3: out and, you know, be pretty, you know, as appropriate
• 23:15
  S3: as one could be for Miss Melons, you know, funny name,
• 23:17
  S3: Miss Melons. You won't play into it too much. No.
• 23:20
  S3: He walked out on stage in front of about 500 people,
• 23:25
  S3: and the first thing he said to the crowd was,
• 23:29
  S3: who wants to see some titty?
• 23:35
  S5: This is a family event, right? This is. This is
• 23:37
  S5: for the whole community.
• 23:38
  S3: Not in a pub.
• 23:39
  S5: It was okay.
• 23:41
  S3: It wasn't to family, but I just my jaw hit
• 23:44
  S3: the floor. I couldn't believe this was happening on. But
• 23:47
  S3: the person I met was not in the in the
• 23:49
  S3: actual competition. But, um, so some very nice people who participated,
• 23:55
  S3: I have to.
• 23:55
  S5: Say, die. So the Chinchilla Melon Festival was back in 2023. But, uh,
• 24:00
  S5: as the headline in this Courier-Mail article says, uh, one
• 24:03
  S5: particular event did not stand the test of time. Uh,
• 24:08
  S5: there is Miss Melons no more.
• 24:11
  S3: Well, anyway, that's, uh, what's happening out there, but, um,
• 24:15
  S3: run clubs have been the one recently where people have
• 24:18
  S3: been using it instead of dating. I've seen headlines for that.
• 24:20
  S3: You can go on to it. But the other thing, Aaron,
• 24:23
  S3: that I just I've got to say as well, is
• 24:26
  S3: dating apps are actually I quite I think they're quite
• 24:29
  S3: good because you're meeting people who also want the same
• 24:32
  S3: thing and, you know, they're on their apps because they're
• 24:33
  S3: doing that sort of thing. And there's an element of
• 24:35
  S3: being able to talk or not talk and that sort
• 24:37
  S3: of stuff. It's pretty good because when I've. Since being single,
• 24:41
  S3: it's been very difficult to go. Well, it was always
• 24:44
  S3: tough to muster the courage, but also you just don't
• 24:47
  S3: know what people are thinking at the time. You know,
• 24:50
  S3: they might just want to go about their day. So
• 24:52
  S3: I find it very difficult to do that straight up,
• 24:55
  S3: like ask for someone's phone number or something.
• 24:57
  S5: No, you just gotta do it. You just gotta be fearless.
• 25:01
  S3: Mhm.
• 25:02
  S5: I mean, you don't want to pester anyone. You got
• 25:04
  S5: to try to get, you know, gauge any sort of. Interaction.
• 25:09
  S5: Any sort of interest? Got to shoot.
• 25:11
  S3: Your shot, though.
• 25:11
  S5: Yeah, but you got to be in it to win it.
• 25:13
  S5: That is the main thing of what you're saying. So.
• 25:15
  S5: So whether you're joining a running club, whether you go
• 25:17
  S5: to the Chinchilla Water Festival, you've got to actually be
• 25:20
  S5: out and doing things, inserting yourself into situations in which
• 25:24
  S5: you are likely to interact with people who are not
• 25:27
  S5: a part of your key social circle. So go out,
• 25:30
  S5: join the clubs, and don't see those instances as a
• 25:34
  S5: means to an end. See them as but one tiny
• 25:38
  S5: step towards the top of the of Love Mountain, right? Yeah.
• 25:42
  S5: You're not. If the people in your running club, you
• 25:45
  S5: don't necessarily you're not going to meet the one in
• 25:48
  S5: your running club, but you might meet a friend of
• 25:50
  S5: the one, or you might meet a friend who has
• 25:53
  S5: a cousin who at some stage when you're out, you
• 25:55
  S5: bump into them and then they're like, hey, this is
• 25:57
  S5: someone who I just did my placement with. And then
• 25:59
  S5: suddenly you meet that person and it's on, but you
• 26:03
  S5: gotta be in it to win it. Next question.
• 26:06
  S3: Amanda, is it okay that I wear a shower cap
• 26:09
  S3: during sex? Oh, God, I wasn't expecting. Sorry about that.
• 26:18
  S3: Is it okay that I wear a shower cap during sex?
• 26:21
  S5: During shower?
• 26:22
  S3: Oh, sorry. That's crucial. Sorry. Sorry about that.
• 26:27
  S5: Yes, that is really crucial. I so. I don't think
• 26:32
  S5: Amanda is suggesting that she's just about she's going to say, oh,
• 26:36
  S5: let me slip into something more comfortable and then ducks
• 26:39
  S5: into the, you know, bathroom and comes out wearing a
• 26:42
  S5: shower cap.
• 26:43
  S3: Yeah. Could wear a shower cap during shower sex. We
• 26:46
  S3: have a kid in limited time to boink, and I
• 26:48
  S3: don't always want to wash my hair. Um, I think
• 26:51
  S3: it's fine. I think a shower cap during shower. It's,
• 26:55
  S3: you know, it's practical. Okay. We've always talked about using protection,
• 27:01
  S3: and I think that extends to the hair if you
• 27:03
  S3: don't want to get it wet. Okay. Um, just make
• 27:06
  S3: sure that the shower cap you use is ribbed for
• 27:10
  S3: his pleasure. That's all I'll ask of you, Ahmed.
• 27:14
  S5: I tell you what. You could be. You could start
• 27:16
  S5: something here. Because I haven't seen any sex scenes in
• 27:20
  S5: movies in which the shower cap is is really a
• 27:23
  S5: part of the of the, you know, the moment.
• 27:27
  S3: Yeah. I don't remember in 500 days of summer like
• 27:29
  S3: they do do it. Awkward shower sex. I'm pretty sure,
• 27:31
  S3: but I don't recall Zooey Deschanel putting on a little
• 27:35
  S3: shower cap. Zooey. It's double. Oh, I got Zooey.
• 27:40
  S4: Zoe.
• 27:44
  S3: All right.
• 27:45
  S5: I finally got my routers moment. Thank you. Cut it out.
• 27:51
  S5: Put it on socials.
• 27:52
  S3: I'm sure.
• 27:54
  S5: I'm sure someone's called. So I'm glad that this just happened.
• 28:00
  S3: To your idea.
• 28:01
  S5: Oh, that has made my day. I am done with
• 28:04
  S5: this podcast. Thank you. I'm gonna finish Amanda early today.
• 28:08
  S3: That's totally fine. Pop the shower cap on and go
• 28:11
  S3: for it. It's. Confidence, as with everything, is the sexiest
• 28:17
  S3: thing of all.
• 28:18
  S5: Um, thank you very much for listening. Matt on end
• 28:21
  S5: on Alex is where you can get in touch with
• 28:22
  S5: us on Instagram. Uh, if you've got anything that relates
• 28:25
  S5: to something you've heard on the show, other than that,
• 28:28
  S5: we'll be back here. Same time, same place tomorrow.
• 28:31
  S3: See you later.
• 28:32
  S2: That's it. The all day breakfast kitchen is closed. Got
• 28:35
  S2: something to add to the show? Slide into our DMs
• 28:38
  S2: at Matt and Alex.