Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / Make Families Great Again Interview w/Dr. Mel Tavares

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Make Families Great Again Interview w/Dr. Mel Tavares · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-A education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices from both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Five Minute Parenting, tips to help you raise competent and God-confident kids.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm talking with Dr.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Mel Tavares about her book Making Families Great Again.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Mel is an award-winning author, speaker, life coach, and frequent media guest.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: She holds a doctorate of ministry in pastoral care and counseling and has 35 years of experience working with families professionally and in ministry.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's a board certified mental health coach and life coach, and she and her husband have seven adult children and 11 grandchildren.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the show, Dr.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Mel.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's great to have you back.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to highlight your new book, which the original founder and uh podcast host of Five Minute Parenting endorsed, Sandra Chambers.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: She's a wonderful person, and I'm just excited.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: This seems like an important book for such a time as this.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So please tell us about it, who it's designed for, and what inspired you to write it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it is designed for parents and grandparents.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I say grandparents because many are either helping raise children or they're um the new caregiver for the child.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so it is raised for those that are trying to raise kids in a Christian faith, but they are battling our culture that often contradicts those very values.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I wrote it um to try to decode for people what's actually going on in today's youth culture.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, um, a hot topic right now in the news is I just read this just a week or so ago, that the big tech companies, everybody from Meta all the way to TikTok and everybody in between, are finally being held responsible in court for intentionally designing platforms that create addictions and draw predators.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I talk about that in chapters three and four of this book, but um that's just an example of why I wrote it.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's really to an expose and help decode what's actually going on.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so it sounds like they will be potentially prosecuted for that or some sort of accountability.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thankfully, yeah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, oh thank the Lord.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I love the title.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: How did you choose it?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I would say God chose it for me.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I saw I was doing dishes at my kitchen sink, and I very clearly saw the title and cover in my mind, and I was like, oh, it is a necessary thing.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: So Christians are very concerned about the direction of our country.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Families are in crisis.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: We're celebrating the 250th birthday, so it just made sense to take some time to direct people's attention to the family as we're approaching that, you know, July 4th, that's the actual date, but we're celebrating all year.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that we're, you know, looking and saying, well, what kind of nation are we right now?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: And what do we want for a country in the future?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And my premise is that our country has been built on and will always be built on the strength of the family.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if I mean they're in crisis right now, we need to work to rebuild, but I think people are looking for answers.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: They want to improve what's what's going on.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and that is so true.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, family is the foundation of what this nation is and will become.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I I agree, such an important topic.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe expound on that a little bit.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's all about making families great again.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So why is this important specifically in our culture today?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you hope readers take away from the book?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I hope that they take away nuggets of um actionable steps that will build, rebuild their family, and then maybe they can impart that to others.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, if a family is every every culture, every society, every civilization, including America, has always been built on the foundation of a family.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: So if families are strong, society is strong.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: If families are weak, society is weakened.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, I don't think that the strength of our nation, I'm not saying anything disparaging, I'm saying I don't think the strength of a nation, ours included, is measured in policies and laws and the capital.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think it starts in the living room and at the kitchen tables where kids are and parents are.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, you know, our legacy as a country is absolutely dependent on strengthening our family.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: So every parent is actually responsible for and taking part in, whether it's uh positive or negative, we're all taking part in the future of our country.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And what we pass on to our kids becomes the culture that they create and they live in.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: So if we do nothing and we allow things to continue spiraling downward, then that's the country we will have.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: But if we grab a hold of it and, you know, take action, then we're gonna see a very different landscape, I believe, than what we see right now.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, can you describe the format of the book?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And is this something that you is is mainly intended for parents to read on their own, maybe grandparents even, or is it something that families can read together?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely something I have a lot of husbands and wives reading it together.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I think that that's a great thought.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I could have put discussion questions in the back to talk about with kids, but it's really meant for parents.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: I've got some churches using it as a small group, like in marriage ministries and small group Bible studies for couples, that kind of thing.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I I at this point I don't think it's really for children, it's more academic.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot, it might hit the snooze button for them because that makes sense.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: But parents need to know this.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so the the structure really is I'm breaking it down into four big parts, saying first we're gonna take a look at what's happening in the homes, then we're gonna take a look at what's happening in the schools, then we take a look at what's happening on the internet, and then last but certainly not least, what's happening mental health-wise in our children's minds, because that's a crisis in and of itself.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So important.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, before I finish with the last question, where is the best place to find the book online?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you can get it through my website or directly on Amazon.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, wonderful.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, before we close, you know, I love to get give um quick uh practical tips to parents.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you could narrow it down to just three simple things that parents can do right now to help grow a stronger, healthier family, what would it be?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the first thing I'd say is we talked about legacy.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, story is very important to children.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: They need to know like where are they coming from, what are their family roots.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the suggestions is to just have a like a story night at the dinner table, maybe not every night, but maybe once a week where you can share memories.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, kids can begin sharing memories they have of their own childhood, grandparents can add into that, you know, talking about real situations, hardships maybe that people overcame.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So connecting at the dinner table would be one.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think the second thing that I would say is that a lot of parents are not engaged in the school systems and kind of um have some basic awareness, but we need to do a better job, I think, in not just saying how was your day, because you're gonna get a one-word answer, but really asking specific questions uh when they come home or when you're at dinner and and say what was the best part of your day?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Not how was your day, but what was the best part?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: It forces them to talk.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, did anything happen today that was uncomfortable or confusing?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna bring out some of those culture clash things.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I would do that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then the third thing I would say is that you know, parents need to be very actively involved in the kids' digital lives.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we talked about screens, so an action step for me, I might suggest a couple of things.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: One might be keep the phone out of the bedroom at night um and all other devices, or require that you, you know, just have a policy, a rule that says where you can have these devices, but only in shared space.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not taking them into the bedroom at all.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's that's a few things that do.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wonderful advice.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Dr.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Mel, it's always a treat to have you on the show.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here to share with our listeners.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And listeners, be sure to check the show notes for links to Dr.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Mel's book and to her website so you can connect with her online.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Please share this episode with another parent you want to encourage.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like and subscribe so you never miss an episode, and then come back next week for another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Have a blessed week.