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$0 Tips To Escape The Perfection Trap ft. Laura Henshaw · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast was recorded on Wrundery Land Always was, always
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: out And this is Two Broke Chicks, the show that
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: in life. And today, oh my gosh, we are joined
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: by someone who is an absolute ravelt, Laura hen Jaw,
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  Speaker 1: the co founder and CEO of Kick with Steph Claire Smith,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: co host of Kickpod and all round Sweet Angel Baby,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: And today we're going to talk about how to free
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: ourselves from the perfection trap and get the confidence to
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  Speaker 1: speak up for ourselves and what is right.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome back, thank you, Oh my goodness, I am putting
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Sweet Angel Baby.
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  Speaker 3: That is best.
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  Speaker 1: But before we get into the episode, we love to
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  Speaker 1: start with our life lesson of the week, So would
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you like to kick us off?
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  Speaker 3: Oh I love this so much.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, my life lesson this week. I think we're going
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: to go into some more context. Yes, how important it
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: is to stand up for what you believe in.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think we're definitely going to break that
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  Speaker 4: down a little bit later. But that is a beautiful
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  Speaker 4: life lesson.
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  Speaker 3: My life lesson of the week.
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  Speaker 4: It is to literally get away from social media when
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  Speaker 4: it's in a phase of negative energy. It's a lot
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  Speaker 4: more fun to love the people you follow than hate them.
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  Speaker 4: Like I promise you you'll have so much more fun if
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  Speaker 4: you enjoy what's on your phone rather than like rolling
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  Speaker 4: and riling yourself up with real yeah fully yeah, what's
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  Speaker 4: your life lesson?
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  Speaker 1: My life lesson of the week is to go see Beetlejuice,
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  Speaker 1: the musical gys because.
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  Speaker 3: Alex and I were invited to go see.
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  Speaker 1: It last night in Melbourne and it is hands down
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  Speaker 1: the funniest musical I think I have ever seen in
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  Speaker 1: my life. The Australian talent in this musical is actually unmatched.
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  Speaker 1: It was incredible. And we've been like enough to go
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  Speaker 1: see shows at on Broadway in New York and also
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: the West End in London named Roup. Yeah that's right,
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  Speaker 1: well traveled, so lucky to have done that, and this
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  Speaker 1: show absolutely stacked up against those and we just laughed
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  Speaker 1: and cried of laughter and like giggled and couldn't stop talking.
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  Speaker 1: And also Beetlejuice was a bit like here's a bit
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  Speaker 1: like flamboyant.
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  Speaker 3: To see this usually not a musical person, but I'm influenced.
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  Speaker 1: It is so so funny and clever and the costume,
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  Speaker 1: set design, the whole thing is a ten out of ten.
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  Speaker 1: So as something positive, Yeah, go see Beetlejuice musical.
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  Speaker 4: And also, can I not like some people potentially with
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: the movie of Beetlejuice, Like, there was like this scene
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: in the original movie if you haven't seen it spoiler alert,
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  Speaker 4: skip like two minutes where like he tries to marry
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  Speaker 4: like the daughter right, and people are like, yeah, this
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  Speaker 4: is really creepy.
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  Speaker 3: In the musical, they make fun of that.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's like and he's like, it's not a
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  Speaker 4: weird thing.
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  Speaker 3: It's like a green card thing. Like everyone's like ooh,
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  Speaker 3: and it's not like that.
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  Speaker 5: Like, it's like, it's funny.
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  Speaker 1: It it pokes fun at the original movie. Yeah, which
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: is also great and breaks the fourth wall and.
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  Speaker 3: It's so it's so good. Go see the show.
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  Speaker 1: Before we get into it, I do just want to
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  Speaker 1: say in this episode we will be discussing workouts, fad diets,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and you know, other similar topics. So if this may
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  Speaker 1: be triggering for you, please feel free to give this one.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, be kind to yourself.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, So, Laura, something that we do absolutely love about
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: you and KICK is that you focus on progress rather
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  Speaker 1: than perfection. So can you talk us through your experiences
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  Speaker 1: with that and how you got to where you are now? Oh?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, So with this one, I think I think it's
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  Speaker 2: always a journey, right. I feel like when we're trying
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  Speaker 2: to not especially if you're kind of a recovering perfectionist,
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  Speaker 2: I'm not sure if we ever fully no, you have
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  Speaker 2: your flavors that has recovered from being a perfection it's
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  Speaker 2: like please, I mean not with everything, but with some
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  Speaker 2: things like please let us know.
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  Speaker 3: We'd love to know your secret, but it takes time.
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  Speaker 2: And I think the thing for me, and also why
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  Speaker 2: this is so instilled kind of within our mission and
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  Speaker 2: everything that we do at KICK, is when you're always
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  Speaker 2: striving for perfection and you're putting that pressure on yourself
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  Speaker 2: every single.
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  Speaker 3: Day, it's not kind, right, It's like.
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  Speaker 2: There's so much pressure from society and everything around us anyway,
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  Speaker 2: and so then when we're also being like really mean
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  Speaker 2: to myself and I mean to ourselves. I think it
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  Speaker 2: also depends on how your perfectionism kind of shows up
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  Speaker 2: for you.
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  Speaker 3: But for me, it's always.
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  Speaker 2: Telling myself I'm not good enough of course you know
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  Speaker 2: you didn't do that to the level that you should have.
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  Speaker 2: It's because you're not smart enough, you're not good enough,
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  Speaker 2: that kind of And that's the message that I think
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  Speaker 2: sometimes trying to always drive for perfection can drive because
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  Speaker 2: then also what is perfection? Like I'm trying to think
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  Speaker 2: of a piece of work I've actually done where I
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  Speaker 2: finish it, and I'm like, yes.
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  Speaker 4: I've changed wrangle exactly, and so hard with some things
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  Speaker 4: as well, is because understanding that this will never be
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  Speaker 4: perfect can often put you off even doing anything.
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  Speaker 3: Exactly that exactly.
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  Speaker 2: And I think as well, like when we even think
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  Speaker 2: about our story to start and Kick when we first started,
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  Speaker 2: if I look back at our first product, which was
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: an ebook, it was like, there is no way in
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  Speaker 2: the world we would put that out onto the internet
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  Speaker 2: now or anywhere, mind you, Like I would not see
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  Speaker 2: the light of day, like the photos, the typos, like
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  Speaker 2: all of these things, right, But if we had have
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  Speaker 2: waited till we were perfect, we would have never ever
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  Speaker 2: ever launched it. And I think as well, it plays
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  Speaker 2: interfeares as you kind of said, if you are wanting
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  Speaker 2: everything to be perfect and that's your only thing that
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  Speaker 2: you will accept it's very hard to ever want to
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  Speaker 2: do anything outside of your comfort zone that you know
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  Speaker 2: you can execute it one hundred percent, because how you know,
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  Speaker 2: we don't know that, So that that way, then we're
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  Speaker 2: just missing out on so many experiences in life. I
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: think for me, something that's really helped me. So as
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: an exact, when I first started doing live TV, it
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  Speaker 2: gave I mean, it's still incredibly nerve wracking depending on
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  Speaker 2: so I'm definitely not not nervous when I go on it.
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  Speaker 2: But when I first went on it, I remember the
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  Speaker 2: first interview I did, and I reflected on it afterwards,
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  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, that was the
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  Speaker 2: worst thing. How could I be so she like I
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  Speaker 2: didn't articulate myself, They're never going to have me back
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: on again, you know, all of that shitty self talk,
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  Speaker 2: like putting myself down. And I remember thinking of I'm like,
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  Speaker 2: I then watched that night the project when Carrie Biekmore
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  Speaker 2: was still on it, and I was like, oh my god,
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  Speaker 2: look at.
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  Speaker 3: The way she articulates herself, Like why couldn't I do that?
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  Speaker 3: And I compared myself to someone who has been doing
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  Speaker 3: TV for like thirty years or whatever. It's been and
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  Speaker 3: my expectation was and I had to step back and I.
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  Speaker 2: Was like, wait, how could I expect someone for myself
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  Speaker 2: on my first day to be as good as someone
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  Speaker 2: that kind of had done it for thirty years. And
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  Speaker 2: so something that I now try and implement, which is
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  Speaker 2: in Louise Hayes's book You Can Heal Your Life, which
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  Speaker 2: I really there's some stuff in there. I don't agree
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  Speaker 2: with it most of it. The sentiment's really beautiful, and
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  Speaker 2: what she says, she says to it selfies after she
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  Speaker 2: does something, she still reflects. It's important to reflect and
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  Speaker 2: you know, want to better ourselves and grow and kind
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  Speaker 2: of take on feedback. But she says like, well done, Luise,
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  Speaker 2: Like this, that was the first time you've ever done that.
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  Speaker 2: You did amazing. Here's what we can try next time.
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  Speaker 2: And then every single time you just continually remind yourself
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  Speaker 2: like I am on a journey, it's progress, like it's not.
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  Speaker 2: You don't expect that perfection every time and it's crazy
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  Speaker 2: Like reading that book and that kind of way of
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  Speaker 2: thinking has helped me so much.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it can be really difficult to do that for
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  Speaker 4: yourself as well, which is why I like it's really
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  Speaker 4: important to surround yourself with people who can sometimes say
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  Speaker 4: that to you as well, Like whenever Sal and I like,
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: sometimes maybe we'll see a bad review or maybe something
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  Speaker 4: won't do as well, and we can very much get
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  Speaker 4: down on ourselves, but having someone else be there to
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  Speaker 4: be like, do you know what this is good? This
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  Speaker 4: is what we can pull from that, or this is
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  Speaker 4: what we can learn. And I remember we interviewed Hannah
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  Speaker 4: Ferguson with her new book Taboo Right, and she was saying,
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  Speaker 4: I hope in ten years I don't agree with everything
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  Speaker 4: that's in this book, which I think is such a
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  Speaker 4: nice way to look at it. Sow and I often
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  Speaker 4: make fun of ourselves for being like continuously inconsistent, like
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  Speaker 4: we're a walking contradiction. And I actually like that about
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  Speaker 4: myself because it means that I never think I know everything,
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  Speaker 4: Because if you get to a point that you're like done,
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  Speaker 4: you are not the smartest person in the room. The
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  Speaker 4: smartest person in the room is looking to learn from
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  Speaker 4: the people around them.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, You're.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Allowed to change your mind on things, and on that
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  Speaker 1: I would love to know, what do you think the
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  Speaker 1: wellness industry is just completely missing the mark on especially
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  Speaker 1: for women.
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  Speaker 2: Oh okay, well, I mean first the biggest thing, and
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: it's kind of wellness, but health more specifically. So almost
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  Speaker 2: all of the research that has been done medical or
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: medical research that has been done is on men and
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: not on women. And so that's why, for example, endometriosists
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: has been it's like people that have it sometimes I
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: think the average time it takes to get diagnosed is
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: it's over five years, like for some people it's ten years. Right,
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  Speaker 2: There's so many different things that they haven't studied for women,
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: and even things like ice baths and breath works, So
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  Speaker 2: there's specific when you go on an ice bath and
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: with some breadthwork where you're kind of like going really
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: really fast. There's been new studies to come out that
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: that's actually not as effective for women. But I think
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: when we talk about these studies and they say, like,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: you know, breath breathwork is amazing, I love it, but
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  Speaker 2: I think it's important to find a way that works
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: for you. But when they talk about the research, says,
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  Speaker 2: often the research is with a group of men, and
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: so that impacts obviously a lot. So I think it's
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  Speaker 2: not tailored for us. I think that's the first thing.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: And then I think the other thing is it is
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: so so so centered around the way that we look
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: and it's something that we I mean, it's why we
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: started kicking.
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  Speaker 3: We do what we do within the app.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: But it's really scary because I think even though we're
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: in now twenty and twenty five, when we were kind
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: of gone onto social media, it was that Kate Moss
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: like nothing feels as good as skinny feels era, which
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: is so fucked yes, Tumbler exactly. And what's really really
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: scary is with the way that our women's bodies in
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: particular trend and the size of body in the shape
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: and body trend, which is crazy because it should never
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: ever ever be a trend, right if we're trying to
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  Speaker 2: change our body and not move our body in and
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  Speaker 2: eat well for the way that we.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Feel like, that's what it's about. That's how we get
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: our power back.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: But what it is all a lot focused around is
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: is the way that we look at it is it's
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: really scary that even though we've come so far, like
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: we take ten steps forward and then we sometimes take
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: twelve steps back.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: What is your advice to stay healthy or be healthy
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: without falling into the perfection trap.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Oh.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, it's really hard.
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  Speaker 2: I think it's so important to acknowledge, like especially as
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: women that are very kind of growing up around this time,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: or especially like with TikTok now with the rise of
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: pro eating disorder content that's getting through the algorithm.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Like it's so scary.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: So I think it's important to acknowledge that everything around
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: us tells us that we should focus on the way
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: that we look. And for a lot of people, it
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: is really hard. And even even for me with my journey,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: like it took me years and years and years to
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  Speaker 2: navigate that change in mindset, and you know, not running
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: so I could burn calories and do faceted cardio and all.
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  Speaker 3: Those things, but running and fueling.
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  Speaker 2: My body because I want to feel strong and I
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: want to feel good in my run, and so it
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: takes time.
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  Speaker 3: I think that's the first thing to acknowledge, And it's really.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Hard, but it is so worth it if you the
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: thing that it always comes back to is how do
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: you want to feel? And if you focus always on
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: how do you want to feel today, you will move
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: your body in a way that works for you, not
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: because of some person on TikTok with no experience has
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: said that if you do this ab workout that is
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: probably with like completely wrong technique. But anyway, you do
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: this ab workout every day, you're going to get like
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: lower ABS, which is of course like that's what they're
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: going to write because it's clete genetic great, Yeah, sh
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: it's genetically exactly right. There is no like every single
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: p day, every single experience personal talion And I'm not
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: a pet. Actually I AMPT, but I don't practice as
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: a pet. But you can't target one, yeah abs. You
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: can't build apps, and I'm like, but algorithm like favors
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: that content like oh my god, I want to know
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: I say it, et cetera. So I think what's really
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: important is don't feel like you need to go into
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: those trends now. For example, running is trending right now
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: that if you love running, run amazing.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: That's a great trend. But if you don't like running,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: don't run, yeahs or do whatever you like to meet
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: your body. And that's what's really really important.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: So and if you wake up every day and you
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: ask yourself, how do I want to feel today, you
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: will see yourself making changes. So you feel good, like
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: moving your body, eating while resting, all of those things
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: like looking after our minds that are really important. But
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: it comes back to how how do I want to feel?
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: I really really love your content because it's really focused
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: on exactly what you were saying before and about feeling good,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: like mentally and physically. That I would love to know,
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: because obviously it's not a one size fits all, but
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I would love to know what your non negotiables are
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: for feeling good.
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  Speaker 3: Oh good question, and thank you, that's so kind. Okay,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: my non negotiables for feeling good. Moving my body.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I move my body most days, actually some days I
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: will rest, but on a rest. I don't move my
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: body in a strenuous way every day.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not. That's what I used to do. I think,
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: like back back again, when we're talking about the Kate.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: Era er strenuous, is that like the really hard work.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, that would be going for a run, it would
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: be doing a hit workout, like a really intense pilarates workout.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And then when we think of exercise, it's less strenuous
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: and lower impacted like walking, maybe like low impact pilates yoga. Yeah,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: exactly right, even strength training, strength training is really good
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: because it doesn't you're not your heart rates on up
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: the endi time, right. So I used to think and
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: back in the day, like I did double workouts, it
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: was like what we're seeing online. I probably will do
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: a strenuous type of exercise like three times a week max.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: And the other days might walk, yeah, water pilates or something
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: like that from home. And then when it comes to
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: the way that I eat now, it is obviously when
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: if you eat fast food every single day for thirty days,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: like you're going to feel very tired, right because very
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: low nutrients, it's not going to give you energy. However,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: it is okay, and we need to have balance in
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: our diet. So for me, eating to feel good is
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: you know, whaking up, having a nutritious breakfast breakfast, and
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: then at you know, at kick at morning tea we
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: might all share donuts or something like that, whatever that
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: might be, and it's having that because that's what I
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: feel like in the moment and it brings me joy,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: and so that's what feeling good is about.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: But of course if.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I eat, yeah, if we eat like really poor food
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: or low nutritious food all the time, we're not going
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: to feel good, right, So just about finding that balance
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: because I think and I used to do this, when
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: you deprive yourself and you use the mindset of I
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: can't have that, it will be on your mind twenty
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: four seven and you're living in this jail in your head.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: And we all like for people that have been through
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: disordered eating or struggle with body image and food noise.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: It takes up your entire mental load for the entire
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: day because.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: You are hungry.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Your body's telling you I need food, I need food,
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: and all you can think about other things that you've
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: told yourself you can't have. So instead of saying something
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: like and this is something that our dietitian Live Morrison,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: she's amazing at Kick speaks about. She says, instead of
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: saying just say you might want to cook more at home,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: meant and eat less takeaway. Instead of saying I'm not
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: going to eat takeaway, say I'm going to cook two
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: nights a week. Because then it's not focused on deprivation.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: It's focused on what you're going to do more. And
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I think that helps a lot. And then in terms
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: of my mental health and just your my mind running
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: an exercise, it does help a lot I feel like
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: anyone that has that. I find running is my form
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: of meditation. Yoga also does that for me. I love
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: it so much. So it's kind of finding what else
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: you can do outside of work that can fill your cup.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: So socializing is really really.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Important, but I think it's important also to acknowledge sometimes
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: going to an event with like twenty people and you
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: have to make all this small talk like that might
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: not fill your cup. So you might need to be like, Okay,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: what am I going to do after that to refill
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: the cat?
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Like is it a work walk with a girlfriend?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Finding in your hobby like pottery, something away from work,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: that's what's really important. I don't obviously don't always get
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: it right, but I try and fill those cups.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: I find it's easy to find the thing that feels
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: your cup when it's a thing that makes you feel
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: like yourself. Yes, like yes, I whenever I'm like engrossed
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: in a book, that's when I really I'm like, I
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: feel like myself and it like clears the fog in
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: my brain, like when you're overthinking. If I just do
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: the thing that makes me feel like myself, I'm like
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: I cam back, yes.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: And how do you deal with any guilt that you
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: feel when you do set boundaries or say no to something,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: or maybe you don't necessarily live up to an expectation
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: that you had for yourself or somebody had for you.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: So social guilt.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: M oh, this is something as a recovering paper plaser.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: So funny that term recovering paper places. Anyway, I'm like, am,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I am. I'm still definitely a
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: paper place exactly. It's like perfection exactly. I find it
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: really hard.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: But I think what I have realized is that I
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: think I was thinking, Okay, why do I feel Why do.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I feel this guilt?
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Why do I feel so guilty.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: If I tell my friend I can't come to dinner
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: because you know, I'm exhausted or you know, whatever it
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: might be. What I've then realized is if I go
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: to dinner or if we go anywhere, just say you're
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: about to an event or whatever it might be. You
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: have something on after work, you are exhausted, you feel
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: like a shell of yourself. You know you need to
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: go home and recharge. If you go to that dinner
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: in that headspace, you're not going to be very good
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: company for you're friends, right, Like I don't think, And
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: so I've really reframed like if I I will go
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: if I can. And obviously it's different like if it's
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: your friend's engagement, like we need to show up, we
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: rally a rally, and exactly you're like, let's go back
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: to do this.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: So I yeah, my with people most mostly like all
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: of my.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Friends, if I'm feeling down or just not up to it,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: I can tell them and be honest. I don't have
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: to say I'm sick or whatever it might be. I
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: can message them and they will understand, like I think
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: it's important. Also, like if your friend messaged and said, hey,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: had a really hard day, I just don't think I
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: can come tonight.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I'm really sorry, can we reschedule? You're gonna be like, of.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Course, thank you for being honest. Also like I hope
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: you're okay. You're not gonna be like fuck you, like
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: why aren't you coming tonight?
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: And the other thing I think as well to know
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: and is I think it's something that we do as
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: women a lot more. But I used to think and
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: it was actually a Steph that taught me She's like, Laura,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: why are you doing this? She I used to if
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I couldn't go somewhere like to an event or a
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: work thing, not not with a friend, with a you know,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: someone that acquaintance or whatever, that I felt like I
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: should go, or if I don't go, I have to
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: give like the exact reason why I can't go. She
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: was like, Laura, why are you explaining this? I'm like, oh,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I just I just don't want them to feel like
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't. I don't want I feel guilty.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: So I don't want them to feel like I'm letting
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: them down or I'm just not going for no reason.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: Like I want them to know it's a valid reason.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: And she's like, you do not need to give a reason,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: right if it's with your best friend, give a reason
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: if you feel comfortable. But if it's not, I feel
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: like we feel like we have to apologize and make
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: it justify the time. You can just say like, hey,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry I can't attend, Thanks for inviting me.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: That's enough.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I think this all falls into this like perfectionism that
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: women feel like they need to have. And one thing
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: that we truly admire about you is your confidence to
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: speak out against damaging narratives against women, and most recently,
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: you called out a male podcaster. We're not going to
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: say his name because I'm going to give him a
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: time love for a dangerous narrative about financial abuse in
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: predominantly heterosexual relationships. Why is this such an important conversation
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: for us to be having.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think it's one of the things that
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: things that with social media in particular, I can't if
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I feel passionate about something like, I don't have the
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: ability to not put it up like it just it doesn't.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I can't. I don't know any other way. I think
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: it's important that when we have a platform, and I'm
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: so grateful that I have the platform that I have,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: comes obviously with the responsibility, but also you know that
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: if you have influence on people, you can make an impact, right,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: And that's what's important, is that we're making a positive impact.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Like I'm true believer in not everyone's going to use
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: their page to good and they don't have to write
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: we don't know.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: People don't have to.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Do good with their social media, but you have to
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: do no harm. I think that is the obligation that
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: comes with it, right, or self imposed obligation, but I do.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: That's what I strongly believe in.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: And so the other week it was actually Steph Since
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: sent me a video, the video that I that I
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: spoke about, and it was incredibly misogynistic. It was also
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: with two really young guys, like Since seeing it and
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: doing research. One of them, the person who hosts the
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: podcast and put the content live, is actually twenty two
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: years old, which is obviously really young, Like, you haven't
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: had that much lived.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, twenty two, I knew nothing?
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: But did you think you knew everything I did? When
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties, I was like, I
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: know everything. And then I got to like twenty eight, and.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, I.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Though, don't you think like I think, it's a security
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: thing because you know nothing, you try to overcompensate with
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: believing you know everything because it's fear.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: You're scared one hundred percent.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: And so with this piece of content, as I said,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: it was incredibly misogynistic. It hadn't come from my algorithm
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: because obviously that is not the content that Yeah, but
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: what's really really scary is that this content is a
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: theme of content, like it's Andrew Taate esque and I
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: think obviously Andrew Tate has been canceled, but it's now
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: this rise in this type of content, like this piece
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: where this boy and I can use the word boy
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: because in the podcast he referred to women as girls.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: So this twenty two year.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Old person he spoke about the fact that if his
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: wife or his partner doesn't want to work, he doesn't
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: want her to work, something like that, and then he
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: went on it was conditional and the reason that he
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: didn't want her to work is because when he gets home,
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: he doesn't want her to be complaining. So basically and
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: when you think about it, like you need to be
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: able to go home, and also that then completely, there
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: were so many women I spoke to mothers that are like,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: being a stay at home parent is.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: The fucking hardest job in the entire world.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: I cannot imagine having to not have my partner, who
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: the children are both of ours, right, they're both of
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: our children, to talk to him about that.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: That's in an sexual relationship.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: So there was that, and then he said went on
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: to say that the reason for that is because if
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: he's had a hard day of work or something like that,
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: he has to come here exactly. But with a peace
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: and tranquil and the words they use within the whole
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: podcast about women was we need to be pure and innocent,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: and we have to be in our feminine and the
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: only way to be in our feminine is to have
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: a man provide for us, because if we have to
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: go out on our own, then we can't be in
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: our feminine. Then we can't be a good woman, then
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: we can't attract a high value man. So obviously this
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: is all incredibly fucking toxic and for me, like, my
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: parents separated when I was around twelve, and I saw
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: firsthand what happens, Like my mum had been out of
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: the workforce for a long time.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: She raised the three of us.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: She was working part time and all of a sudden
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: she was obviously my dad's supported as well, but they
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: were both single parents, right, and she needed to work
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: out how am I going to go and get.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: A full time job.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: She didn't have super from the time that she'd taken
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: off raising us, right, And that's now as she goes
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: into retirement, something that she thinking about like I was,
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I saw that, and I saw the huge level of stress,
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Like financial stress, I feel like is one of the
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: things that can take the biggest toll in you. Like,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: obviously all stress is bad, but financial stress is really
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: really heavy. And obviously in that instance, like my mum
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: was able to support us and that was that was great,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: But that's not the case for everyone. And I think
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: to send a message out that you only should work
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: if you want to. What happens if you break up? Like,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: what happens if your partner dies, What happens if they
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: have an accident and they can't work anymore? What if
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: they have a really bad mental health period where they
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: can't work anymore?
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: What happens if you're in an abusive relationship?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: If you have zero ability to make money, how you
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: can't leave?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: You're in a really And I think this kind of
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: and what this person speaks about all the time is
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: how much he wants to lean back into traditional gender
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: roles within relationships and.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Not the fucking troad.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, that's what's really He packages it up as
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: loving and caring, and that's what's fucking scary, because that's
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: what's saying Andrew.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: Tate is fucked. But then they see this content and it's.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Like motivations and exactly the scary thing is he doubled
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: down and that's the thing.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: He lives.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: This content exists in an echo chamber, and that's what
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: That's why I wanted to talk about it because I
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: think education is so, so, so important number one, so
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: we can spot this content for anyone that because for
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: a lot of people they was it was actually really great.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I had messages on the first day being like, whoa,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I think Chris actually has a really reasonable point, like
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: he's being really caring. And then two days later they
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: messaged and said, hey, have step back and reflected, and
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I can.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: See how toxic this is. Thank you for talking about it.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: And that's why we.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Have these conversations because if this person will or will
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: not take hopefully by the time this comes out, like
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: maybe he will have been at a step back and reflect.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: But his response was incredibly disappointing because he spoke about
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: he wrote some cryptic posts and he wrote in it.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: That he's driving and not looking in the review, mat
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: oh my god.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: I'm not using indicators because he's gone too fast, and
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: I was like.
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: Actually, indicators safely exactly, Like what a dangerous analogy to use, right,
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: So I think when you can't take anyone else's perspective,
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: and you are influencing, Like he's over three hundred thousand followers, Yeah,
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: most likely a lot of them.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: I highly doubt many women follow him, young men following him, right,
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: and he's putting this belief system into them that is
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: so dangerous. Like in Australia, the group of homeless people
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: that's growing the fastest as women then fifty five. The
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: super gap is huge, right, domestic violence, Like we are
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: literally in an epidemic for domestic violence, like violence against
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: women in Australia, all of these things, And I think
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: what's really difficult is when the people making this content
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: can't see that.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Actually I know I'm not saying that, but that's what
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: this lead is to. Yeah, like it stems I think for.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Me, like as I said before, I actually it's like
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: it takes over my body and I'm like, I don't think.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: And it's been like over the time when this podcast
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: thing blew up, like a lot of people have been
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: messed to me saying like you're okay, like you must
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: be tired. I'm like, nah, I feel live, like this
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: is this is and it's not a live in terms
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: of like in no way bringing someone down but it's
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: bringing something up that matters and create and empowering and
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: starting a conversation. Like the amount of media that's come
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: out of this that has been focused on financial abuse
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: and educating people like that that's impact.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Like that's making change.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: And so I think for me, like, even for example,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: within this specific week, people had asked us to do
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: a deep dive podcast episode on it. And I am
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: in no way an expert on misogyny, right. I know
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: I listened to a lot of content on it, but
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: I haven't been to university and studying it, studied it.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I haven't read research papers. I have probably only learned
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: so much about the term in the past three years. Right,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: So in no way am I an expert in this content.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: And so I did think for I was like, can
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I do this? Because if I do this episode and
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I don't do justice like to all of these amazing
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: women that I have the I have the platform and
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: am so grateful for that that I can do it.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: But I think I say to myself, like, what if
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: I just have to put up with that tiny little
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: bit of shit, which I think in embracing the fact
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: that I know I'm not going to be perfect I
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: own that I say that, then it's so worth it
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: for like the ninety nine percent and if we're gonna
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: come for people, and I also if people come for
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: me now in you know what, any time, if we're
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: speaking out against out against something, I just think it's
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: like it says so much about them, like instead of
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: coming and attacking me, Like.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Why don't you try and move things forward? Right?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: And so I think with that saff actually it's water
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: off a ducks back now, which it has not always
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: been that way. It's taken like years and years to
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: get there. But now I'm just like, wow, this is
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: a really sad thing to do with your time.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And you.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: Know what, it kind of comes back to what you
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: said at the start of the episode of you aren't
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: going to get a perfect no yeah and being okay,
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: Like I think that fear of talking about heard things
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: like politics, misogyny, cost of living, all these things that
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: are really really big topics and heavy topics that we
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: get scared to go into the topic because maybe we
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: don't have a statistic to pull up, or maybe we
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: don't have a degree in it, and we think I
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: don't know everything, so I'm not a lie to be
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: in the conversation, which is not true, and going into
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: the conversation knowing that you're not going to get it
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: right also means that you're probably going to learn something,
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: which is okay. I think what the fear comes from
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: people waiting, people like, no, that's wrong, and this is
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: why you don't know anything because you've got discredit. Y, yes,
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: exactly right, exactly. So do you have any tips for
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: women who want to speak and want to be more
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: confident about these things that they're very passionate about and
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: make them feel powerful, but they do have this fear
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: of getting it wrong.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So I think what I would think about with this example,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: and this is something that a VC actually gave me
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: advice on, which is when you go and raise money,
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: there's certain types of this place. There's different places you
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: can get money in. Venture capitalis one way. And he
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: was a male VC and he said to me, you
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: need to present this like you are a twenty five
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: year old guy, because he doesn't feel like he needs
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: to have one And that's obviously a very big generalation,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: but the reasons were he doesn't feel like he has
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: to have one thousand reasons for everything, and a thousand
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: starts to back it up. He believes in himself and
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: he is going to sell this shit out of it, right,
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: And I think from that moment and sometimes I think, like, OK,
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: to step into this energy right there, energy that I
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: don't feel like I have to justify everything. But I
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: think as women it's something unfortunately and not everything is gender,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: but I do think with this, we do feel like
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: we have to have more and we know we see
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: it with jobs in the start around is crazy that
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: if a woman, a woman only applies for a job
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: if she can do nine out of the ten criteria,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: but for a guy it's three to four.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Or something like that.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Now that it's amazing that a guy can put themselves
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: out there, right, but it's like, how do we get
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: women to also feel like they can? And so I
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: think that's something I always come back to that lesson
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: and I think you can apply in this situation, right,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: And then it comes back to as well, if you
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: get a tiny bit wrong, that's it depends too. Like
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: for example, if someone's spreading this information like y, that's
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: that's all right, But if you're speaking out about something
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: that's really important to you and you nail things and
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: maybe one is wrong. The nine things will have way
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: more impact. And I think it says so much about
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: often the people that are coming at you like it's
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: always a projection, right, and when it's petty, and I
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: think it's projecting that they might wish that they could
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: stand out and speak about it, but they don't feel
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: like they can, so they're projecting that onto you.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: So I think, yeah, if.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: You you know, if you want to speak out about
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: things like do it, absolutely do it, and you just
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: we can't expect ourselves to be perfect. And I do
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: think that's something that social media has actually given us
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: a lot more grace on than it used to, because
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, as you were taking we were kind of
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: talking about before it was probably I would say five
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: years ago. That's something you how we can change our
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: mind something that you did seven years ago, Like if
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: someone dug up something you said on Facebook seven years ago.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: And we only know what we know, right, We always
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: want to do the best that we only know what
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: we know when we do, and then when we learn more,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: we need to do better. But people were bringing up
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: like stuff that someone posted ten years ago, whatever it
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: might be, and then holding them to account to that now,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: and I think sometimes when something is very racist, or
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: you know, there's things, we have to be responsible and
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: accountable to our behavior.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: But I do think there was a period where the
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: fear for so.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Many of my friends that run businesses or have podcasts
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: or whatever it might be, was so high that fuck, like,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: what if fifteen years ago I said the wrong thing
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: and I can't remember and I'm going to be canceled.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: And I think we've moved away from that a little bit.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I still think that it's probably more prevalent for women
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: than men, but I think we have moved away from that.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: So to kind of wrap this all up, how can
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: you let go of perfectionism and prioritize positivity?
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: And like we've said, a journey a journey, it is
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent, and I always get this right.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing would be you have to
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: because when we try and do those types of mindset
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: transitions and we haven't dealt with the barriers, we can't
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: move forward like I feel like we might be really
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: to say we're going to change the way we speak.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: So instead of saying I have to go to this today,
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: I get to right. That's an example it's really nice
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: to do that, but if you haven't broken down the
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: barriers of why you are in that original mindset, after
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: one week you'll be like, fuck this, I don't hate
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: this anymore, I'm not, et cetera. So what's really really
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: important is to sit down and this is what I've done,
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: and write out like, why doesn't perfectionism serve you?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: What is perfectionism holding you back from?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: So?
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Is it starting a podcast, is it starting a business?
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Is it speaking up at work, like asking a question
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: in front of people, because so often, like I was
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: in a room the other day and it was there
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: was an equal amount of men and women in the room,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: and when it came to the end and there were
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: questions for the guests, only the men ask questions. I
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: think it's because I was like, I shouldn't have psychoanalyzed it,
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: but I was like, I do think it's because as
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: women with as we've spoke about with thinking, my question
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: has to be perfect or I can't.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: I truly do that all the times exact like whenever
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: you're at a talk or a conference and I do
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: have a question, but I get shot.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want people to think I'm stupid. To think
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: it's a silly question again, even.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: To think that you're like a pick me, I'll go.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: I'll ask them in private, like I don't want to
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: ask in front of everyone.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're afraid of judgment, right, but why are we
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: afraid of that judgment?
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Also? Then, so by not asking a question.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Not speaking up about your ideas at work, how is
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: that stopping you from moving forward in your life? It
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: could mean that you're actually your boss might think that
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: you don't have ideas, therefore you can't move into the
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: next or whatever it might be in your role, the
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: next level of your role. When actually you have all
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: these ideas, you just need to be able to voice them,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: write and feel comfortable and feel comfortable and feel in
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: your power. So it's writing out what is perfectionism like
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: taking from me? When you see that list, you will
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: be like, why am I doing this to myself? Like
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: you have done this, and so we think that it's
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: other people, but it's actually the barriers that we're actually
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: conflicting and putting onto ourselves.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Laura. Honestly we're gonna have you
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: on every pat same. I love chatting to you because
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: you are such an inspiration to us and to the chicks.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: But for anybody who doesn't already follow you, where can
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: they find you and learn more about you and kicks mission?
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: So you can find me on Instagram at Laura dot
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Henshaw and then kickapp dot com.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: We are huge fans of the kickapp and everything and
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: also you guys have been so generous to offer the
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: chicks one month free with the kickapp, so use the
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: code two Broke Chicks for one month three for all
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: the t's and c's in the show notes spells the link.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Definitely get on it because we are obviously obsessed.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you guys though we love you, Thank you
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: so much, we do love you.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: And thanks to your chicks for having us in your ehels.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: We love you big. Thanks to Produce you for.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Having us while we were down here in Melbourne, and
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: of course your m ik made for Met King today's episode.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: Happened, nailed it. Bye, Chicks, Love you