Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #147 There's A Flaw In The System

Transcript

#147 There's A Flaw In The System · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I've been cursed. Go on.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Last week, I gave a lot of shit to some
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: pet parents.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you go hard on them, really got them good?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the record is for times in
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: one day stepping in dog shit, but I think I've
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: broken the record.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: What was it? Welcome back to three darting Days.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I am Mattie J and I'm Ash and this is
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a podcast with our parenting. It is the good, it
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: is the bad and the relatable. If you come for advice, sorry, none, no, none, none,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: except maybe don't shoot on pet parents because your dog
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: were here and she was like, you neglected me? Was
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: it your ship? The dog shit? Not my ship. I'm
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: not shopping out in the law on anymore.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I was just doing some stuff around the house, and
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, April shit, okay anyway.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: So I was doing some stuff around, giving me a
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: taste of my own medicine.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I like it.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I was like doing stuff around the house with slides on.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: You know how I do like my slide.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I do love slides.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I had a pair of slides going stepped in dog
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: shit at the front. Ironically, I was scooping up dog
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: shit and stepped in dog shit and then I was like,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: oh fuck, wash the bottom of those shoes. Put him
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: in the sun for him to dry dog poop free.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: That's a tongue twister. And then I put some other
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: slides on, walked around the side of the house, boom
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: straight into another poop.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: How many slides have you got? Six? Nice?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Then I put my Vans on because Oscar was like, hey,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: can you kick the footage with me?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, but don't go up that. And
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: the Vans are the worst because they've got such deep crevasses.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Well said, thank you, said they're perfect. Whoever at Vans
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: was like, let's put this on the bottom of the shoes.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: So I was like why, They're like, because you can't
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: get dogshit out of there. Make them five centimeters deep.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: You gotta get your out there.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Anyway, this continued, the three shoe rotation all day.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: More well that was three, Well, I keep going and
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: then you're going to tell me every single one, no,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not. But it just rotated.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: So I kept having to wash my shoes and put
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: him in the sun. The one sunny day, which was Saturday,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: and I figured the only time I would have been
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: go outside. I've stepped into dog poos six times. It
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: must be karmer. I'm sorry, I stand by it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: The wor no, you just you're gonna get fucking shot
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: on tomorrow because of that worth it. Hey, before we
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: go into our normal episode, obviously, we want to make
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: this a space where we sit down, we have a laugh,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: and we're very lighthearted before we go into a normal episode.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I do just want to give it to a nod
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to some recent news that came out. I'm sure people
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: would have seen it. There was two brothers, Adam and
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Troy Selwood, sadly both of whom have now passed away
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: as a result of suicide. I don't know if it's
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: just myself. I don't know if you're in a similar position,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: but it just feels like the last four months for me,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: in addition to high profile individuals like Troy and Adam,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: there's been a lot of suicides amongst men.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we only really as a society,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: jump on the back of it when someone in the
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: spotlight happens to But it happens so so regularly to everyone,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Like in terms of friends, family, you know, day to day,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: week to week. The statistics are crazy.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And for me at the moment, it's been about
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: every three weeks there's been someone else that I've known,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: not super close, but you know, friends of friends, people
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: who are you know, in our community, have decided to
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: end their own life. All have been young men around
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: their mid to late thirties. I don't know what the
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: fuck is happening. It's really scary and one of the
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: hardest things. As well as one of my friends whose
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: brother passed away, and I was thinking to myself, it's
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: been a while since I've spoken to them, and I thought,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I don't want to reach out and say I'm sorry
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: about the news and then that be a reminder of
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: the situation they were facing.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's sort of one of those you don't want
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: to be like, hey, sorry, you lost this person.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: They're like like a pylon. You don't want it to
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: be like a pylon of emotion. Yeah, And if you
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: you know, it's if you're having a moment where it's
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: not at the forefront of your mind and someone raises
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: the topic and all of a sudden you're thinking about
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: it again, and then you're thinking about it if you're
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: on that phone call. I don't want to be the
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: trigger for that. I ended up speaking to them over
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the phone and I said like, I'm really sorry about
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: the passing, and they were like, it's really hard because
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: when it's suicide, you don't want to talk about it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: People don't want to bring it up. It's the elephant
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: in the room. You know. If it was something like
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: cancer or a car crash, it would be much easier
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: for others to bring up, but they hold back, so
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: it is really isolating for friends and family. The thing
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I really strug about is when someone does decide to
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: take their own lives, how they're able to do that
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: knowing that they're living behind loved ones, especially the kids.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just because you're a parent and a husband, it
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean make you immune to life's problems, but it's yeah,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: it's it makes it all that bit harder. I suppose
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: it's always going to be hard for whoever is involved
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: in his community and what, you know, but to leave
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: two young kids and a wife behind is tragic, and
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: I think, like, what what could have been done to maybe,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: you know, alleviate that happening to him of course, and
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: to his wife and his kids. It's just it's just
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: tragic and both of them as well, both had wives
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: and kids, and it's like it's devastating, it's hard to watch,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: hard to can.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I can ask you, as someone who has had their
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: own struggles with mental health, in those moments where you
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: were at your lowest, the thoughts of your children and
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: your wife, are they enough to pull you out? Yeah?
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: I mean I've sort of struggled with my mental health
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: for a long time.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Really, I think.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Came prevalent when I started to have kids. And at
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: that time, it was it was a different dark it
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: was a you know, a really it was a really
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: tough time because like a newborn, we weren't getting any sleep.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I couldn't see any positives in anything.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: And that was that was you know, that time there,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and I, thankfully I started to realize what was happening,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: My wife started to realize what was happening in lent
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: an ear, and I started to feel a little bit
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: of relief of the pressure. You might be in that
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: darkness of darks, but there is a way out there
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: if if you're willing to open up to it, or
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: someone's willing to give you the opportunity to open up
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: to it.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: It's not a one and done.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Situation, no way. It was a really long, arduous battle.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: But when I sort of got to the end of
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: that battle and looked back at how those thoughts were,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: it were impacting my mind, but those thoughts physically and
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: impacting out towards the people I love what that would
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: have actually done. And then I've sort of spent my
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: whole parenthood sort of facing those demons here and there,
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: and there's always going to be ups and downs, and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: there is, like I said, there are ways out of it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: And when I started to fall into that darkness again
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: when I'm going to say maybe twelve months ago, around
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: that time we were doing this podcast.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Everything was running really really great.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I was successful, as you call it, but mentally I
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: wasn't and it was a different sort of it was
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: a different sort of darkness. But to get out of that,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I found that I had two young kids now and
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I remember when I remember very vividly, and I'd spoken
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: to it about this on another podcast before that, when
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I started to have those really really dark thoughts as
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: one person, that popped into my brain and I can't
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: imagine an Oscar without me, and that saved my life.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: There was a time where I was trying.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: To escape him, and now I was using him to
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: give me motivation to seek help and talk to someone.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And it can be so.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: I remember the first time I ever, ever sort of
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: was vulnerable with April about this stuff, back in twenty
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: twenty or something. And I know I was a novice
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: at this, right the first time you fall into this
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: dark hole, you think you're completely alone and you're there
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: for the first time, and then you're like, I don't
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: know how to do it.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: But I just remember.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I just remember having a conversation with April about it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I opened up just a little bit. At that time,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: I was still really scared to talk about how that
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I wanted to escape her and I wanted to escape myself.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I felt embarrassed, but she just gave me the space
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: to say it, and it was like a pressure valve.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: And then it was like she didn't pressure me to continue,
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: but she just gave me the space when I needed
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: it to tell how I'm feeling. And its slowly it's
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: snowboard into the confidence to seek a professional help. And
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I see a therapist now once a fortnight. Okay, I've maintained,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: you know, not that sort of consistency but I know
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: this year where it was struggling with you know why
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: my brain does certain things and my neuropathways and all
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: sorts of stuff, I found myself having those thoughts again
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: where it was the world would be better without me,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: and it's not, you know what I mean. And for
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: guys like these two guys who are athletes, they're ex athletes,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: they're sort of moving into the second part of their life,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: which is not an athlete ex athlete, and into fatherhood
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: and parenthood and navigating what's next, which must be really,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: really hard. But my message to that person is that
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: is going to be hard, but it's harder for your
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: family to operate without you. So have have a take
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: a second and and just talk to someone you know,
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: like and if you're the husband, the wife, or a friend,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: an uncle, anyone, whoever it is, and you can see
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: someone struggling. I used to walk around this house with
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: a smile on my face, but I wasn't happy and
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I would, you know, and some people would be able
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: to pick up on that. But if you're the closest
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: person someone, you could pick up something's not right. Just
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: say talk to me and just shut your mouth and
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: let them talk.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: And like April did do it in a way where
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: you listening with no judgment.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it got to a point where, and
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I've said this before, that she in that situation, she
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: also had some mental demons and she was getting better
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: and I was getting worse, and she just pointed out
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: something really obvious and it really gave me an opportunity
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: to think about what what I could do or how
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: can make myself feel better. And for these guys that
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: are going into their fort is in their second part
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: of life and not knowing and losing their identity as
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: an athlete, I can imagine that it would be really
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: really hard.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: But be honest, be open. I mean, there's the moment,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: the moment you think that you're not doing okay, it's
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: so important to speak.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Up if you are struggling or you know you're not
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: you're not feeling your best, or you feel hopeless, or
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: you feel like the world will be better without you.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Just just please know that it gets better. At one
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: hundred percent gets better, and you look back at it
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: and you learn from it, and then next time you
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: start to feel bad, you'll have the tools because your
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: brain knows it's there.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: So don't.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Don't neglect your mental health for Fox's sake, Like don't
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: it's it's not worth it. Amen Well said, either open
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: your mouth to someone, or if you see someone that's struggling,
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: open your ears up. Don't provide a solution, just provide
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: an ear.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Anyone else out there who wants help and is struggling
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: to find someone to reach out to, we will put
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: in the show notes. Some great organizations are a perfect
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: place to start those conversations.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing some work with Lifeline. Now we'll leave
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: that number in the show notes. So please use the
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: number if you're not feeling okay, or send me a
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: message if you want, send me a message on Facebook, Instagram,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: whatever you like.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I'll be able to hear from you. In the past,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: we spoke about Oscar having an oral presentation on mainly
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: seagulls at school. Has he had another one? Has it
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: a follow up? No?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: No, they're doing At the moment they're doing this, a
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: parent comes in and reads with them all. So April
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: did it on Monday where she went down to the
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: school like late in the afternoon. She read to the
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: class with Oscar and two other boys.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do that and over there, I
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: think Parie turns into an asshole when I'm around.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: But then you've got to build their confidence, Matt. And
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: that's that's what I think it's there for.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I had I had our second task. We
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: had the first oral presentation on an animal. I recall
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: it was Buster three legged dog. Shout out to Buster.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Like we did a follow up presentation. The task was
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: task was a place on location that is special to you? Okay,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: what did you go with? Okay? And it could be
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: like anywhere, right, could be like a destination and very obscure.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: It was a low hanging fruit. Okay. So we the
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: issue we have was right from the get go, because
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: she was like, I want it to be the house
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: and I was like, well, how are you going to
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: make that interesting? You mean home? And and I was like,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: because you have to, what's a funny story of something
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: that's happened at this location? And I was like, nothing
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: funny ever happens around here? Right, I was like, what
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: are we going to fucking pick? Like, what do we got? Okay, Marley,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: think about something. Because you can't write down these speeches,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: they have to memorize it. Oh wow, do they know.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: She's like six, but it's three points, okay, three points.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: You need a hook. Think of it as a social video.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: You might not know this, okay, but I live in Bondai.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: That was a hook, okay. And I was like that's
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: very good. But also I'm hooked. Everyone lives in bond
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: goes to the school because it's in the catchment. But anyway,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: think about that. But I was like, okay, Maley, so
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: remember that you might not know I live bon Day.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Take it away. And she'd be like you really should.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe no, And we've we practiced and practiced and practice.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: I couldn't get the hook. And I was like, that's fine,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: leave the hook. Funny story. What do you want to
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: make up? And she's like, funny story, the cat sleeps
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: in my bed and I was like bol bingo, fantastic
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: and h and what what do you love about the
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: house And she's like I love that Nana lives in
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: the house. That's lovely. I was like great, great, So
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I said, let's practice, let's practice this speech. She was
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: just I didn't want to film it because I didn't.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I was like sitting down and I was like, okay,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: t take it away. Like go, and she's like some
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: times when there's a there's a cat and Raspberry is
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: in the house, and when I'm at the house there's
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: also my nanna. And I was like good, trying to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: be encouraged, but I was panicking. I was like, this
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: is this is ship. I was like Simon cal on
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: the couch, being like, you can do better, and I
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: was starting to get a bit worried. And also I
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: did leave it kind of last minute, was like the
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: night before. They've had it for a week standard, but
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I was like I went to my mom and I
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: was like, is this all kids?
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: This bad? And she was like absolutely, oh yeah yeah.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: If you try and get oscar to get like repeat anything,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: oh oh my god. Man Like but then he'll be
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: like we'll drive past something and what did he say
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: the other day? Just like the memory and it's unbelievable
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: what they will remember and what they won't remember. It's like,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: don't forget to grab shoes, Okay, completely forget to get shoes.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, okay, Manly Verse Sharks last year round fourteen.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: He's like eighteen, Yeah, like what and he was like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: who's called? Who's It's like okay, all right. Did Marley
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: listen to a song once and she knows all the words?
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where the fuck is your jumper? And she's like,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know. She's like she's lost another jumper. Oh
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: my goodness. At least it's good. It's reassuring. Tonight, I
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, she's this oral presentation is
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: awful and she's got no jumper on. What the hell's
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: going on?
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Look, I'm waiting for the next oral presentation to
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: be presented to Oscar. He is an SRC member right.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: The other day he was like, we had an SRC today.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, yeah, how'd you go? And he
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: goes I didn't.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, what he's like, no id lunch into dead.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: I was like, the spirit politics and it's finners, Matthew.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Yes. I had been traveling a.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Little bit, as you know, the last couple of weeks,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: just with bits and bobs, bits and jobs and so.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Busy, busy boy.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I recently took some advice from you about farting on
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: an aeroplane. Hey, you just let them rip do it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: But I only do that internationally. I've got a line.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I've drawn the line, like.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: It la fla.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: What a surprise surprise, Hello, Darling, What on earth?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bit late. I'm terribly sorry everyone. You know,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I just got to get on the mic. I'm terribly sorry.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Pull up a chair, Cras, just get out of my arm.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Take your hands, I'll get out of my love you.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: What a pleasant surprise anyway, So I draw the line
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: where on domestic flights I hold for what reason?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: It's only an hour usually? Why is that? I don't
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: know if anything I thought like domestic would allow you
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: to like fin there, I show some common courtesy.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, okay, I was up in Burley,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I had a night out before.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I was pretty gassy. I'm gonna be honest. Sorry Jess.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: First of all, I want to say sorry Jess. And
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I listens about this story, but I was embarrassed. Anyway,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: So I get on this plane.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm holding in my fart, and you know how
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: much that hurts perps.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I think we should stop the podcast.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And so I was holding it in. I was holding
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: it in, holding it in, and every every ten minutes.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: That went past, it was getting more and more painful.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: And I was like okay, went to get my I landed.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I've made it, okay, and you're not fighting on the plane.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: No oh, I've held that in for an hour and
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: twenty minute. I made up time in the air and
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, I park think you're gonna I'm gonna
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: taste my own medicine here. I parked in the valet.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, I can't misheard that, so I said again,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I'm parked in the valet. Must really that must do
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: really good.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: That's like that's better than sex, right, and I O, wow,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: that's the It's adjoining at the Sydney Airport is an
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: adjoining to the to the departures terminal, so you don't
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: have to leave the building.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: So I'm loaded up exactly, That's why do you want
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to fight? Because I was like, I'm high society.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Now I'm better not far anyway, So I'm walking through
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: the terminal and I'm still holding my fart because it's
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: a busy terminal.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: And then I get to checking only or you carry on,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: just check, so carry on carry so don't confuse me
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: like that. Anyway, I went, I went, gave him the ticket.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, come on, come on, bring his car,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Bring his car around bring for a walk, and by
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: comes standing there they're talking to me. I'm like like
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: trying to I was in pain.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I was like.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Get into the car and I was like, okay, I'm
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: safe space. I start to drive and like car parts
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: are the best. It was like like a proper yeah
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: who far moment where I felt like, oh, like a
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: rainbow was coming out of my asshole. It was fucking delightful. Okay,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: it's still in the seat. I reckon, I'm sorry. Anyway,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I pull up to the boomgate and I put the
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: window down and I put the ticket in and nothing happens.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: And before I could do anything, the attendants come around
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: to my open window.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: My god, and I could help you with anything.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Bam and she she she noticeably went.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Ship man exactly exactly, and she was like because she
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: was like my eyes. And then the boomgate went up
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: and I was like sheepish the whole time. I didn't
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: look at it. But no contact straight the O. There
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: is no story go because of the review mirror. Sorry,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: the last time Ash ever went Valet ever again, I
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: will never When you rock up, they're like you take it.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not taking that guy. You take it. You'll that guy?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Do you want to feel better? So where I used
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: to work, I lived in London for a while, must
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: be nice. And in that agency was a marketing agency.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: It was a hot desk, hot desk, and so for
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: anyone who doesn't not so you just picked the desk
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: when you rocked on brick laying or something was it too.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: So you were just wherever there was a free seat,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: you just grab, you grab it, and so very annoying,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: very because you just you know, you don't exactly. So anyway,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: I get in early. I grab a great seat next
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: to the window, and so I'm sitting down there and
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: in the corner. No one's around. I'm in pretty early,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: so I'm like and I was like, well that's a
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: bit tangy tang, a bit of a tang. And then
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: someone came in started walking towards me, and I was like,
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: and then they come down like my aisle where I'm sitting,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: and they're like, hey, man, I just I left something
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: in the drawer yesterday, and so they had to reach down,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: like head down to get something out of the drawers.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: A cloud of it caught on the desk too, like
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: a bit of fog. What do you say before they go?
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Was like you better if heard.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, ah, thank you so much.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Where I used to work at the timber yard, we
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: boys are disgusting. First of all, I'm just gonna put
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: that this out there completely.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: We used to call this thing called.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: A dragon where he'd fart and somehow try and drag
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: one of your employee fellow employees into it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: So what you would do.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: For example, is I would be writing down and I'll
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: drop a little far and I'd be like, oh, Mick,
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: have you seen this? And he would like walk over
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: and he'd be like, I'm like just here, and he
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: lean down and called the dragon. And there was this
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: old guy that he was the sort he was like
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: real old school where he used to you never knew
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: if he went to the tour. I used to call
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: him the cat because he would sneak off to the
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: bathroom to do a pool and then no one did
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: hear him or see him, so like he was like,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: you know, your cat would just sneak into the kiddy
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: litter and then all of a sudden they come back out
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: happy because they've done a ship. So he's to call
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: him the cat. We used to do this sort of time.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: But would you lick himself? Yeah? He did, actually.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was like the number one target still works.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: They worked there for like thirty five years.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: And we were all there and everyone would holding down
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: so naive and gullible get dragged into buying. We use
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: a holding and we're called on the cat, kitty cat.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: It always happened. We talk about ship. We just can't
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: help ourselves. We're so far just like we're human. We're human.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: But anyway, what are your top three farts? I just
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: want to give you a quick update. We've upgraded on
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: the stick aboard. We have I did see something up there.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: We have upgraded. Would you like to show me you've
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: got it on the heat on the heat? You you
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: were you were very vocal about wanting a whiteboard, which
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I absolutely acknowledged, a great shout from you. I chose
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: to ignore it, actually Laura ignored it. This is it's
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: like a rip off chart, magnetic on the back, beautiful
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: like that and the nice touch just rip it off.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like a careful, be careful. That is current.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Although ash you can see although what what day are
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: we at now? Wednesday? And we're recording some Tuesday. Sorry,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: so what days? Today? Is? Tuesday? Wednesday? Sorry? Sorry, I apologize.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I can I apologize because I was going to say, yeah, okay,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: so hang on what I'm seeing here? Just for the
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: listeners at home, I'm going to give my worth, says
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: reward chart at the top, right, very good reading, thinking
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: that could be that could cause some traw me down
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: the track.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yochi, Yep, that's the reward I'm given. But Tuesday night,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: what's happened? Oh someone's missed it?
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Who was Ala Lola? That's not like Lola Lola.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: I have money on Lola being perfect.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: So there was a floor. There was a floor with
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: the system right, because we're saying you need to get
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: a full chart.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Also, that be a really good band name what's that
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: floor with the system?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Cown and moving on? So if they missed one night,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: they're like, well, fuck, I'm out for the week. Oh
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: why would I if I miss Tuesday? Why would I
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: bother on Wednesday?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Exactly right, Yeah, you need to come up with a
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: way to earn it back. Oh contingency, I like it
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: clean bedroom, So that gives them that's the redeeming.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, so are you.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Accumulating over the week. If you've got fives or six,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: you need five. So okay, right, the system's working.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, for the record, just in case anyone is wondering,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: the system is great. It's flawless, it is perfect. I
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: have had a bit of negativity, perfect, very subjective. But yes,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: go okay, just this is like I don't want to
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: attack her. Go on on TikTok, she says, as a
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: child and family therapist.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Oh fuck, oh god, did you read that first?
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I just didn't you? What would you know? I'll tell
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: you what you know. Here's a degree. I'd implement a
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: reward that is immediate. So the morning of maybe she
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: can pick a favorite snack from a snack box for
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: the day. Having rewards that potentially five days away is
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: not going to be exciting. You've made the money, Jesus Christ.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I would say you're already doing that because kids
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: love stickers.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Sticker is the reward. So joke's on you, therapist. So
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: we make an ordeal an ordeal maybe the wrong word.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: If we make it a thing.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Why don't we do this, Why don't we come out
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: with a two doting dad's reward chart.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Like this one? Yeah, yeah, stickers at the back. I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: didn't realize you. So you went, you've got external stickers
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: on a you've.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Got third party stickers on a first party pat.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I had no idea. I just will let you know
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: smoke coming off that keyboard. Damn girl, I will. I
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: will because some people will also. Okay. The other bit
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: of negativity that I got, people were like, what happens
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: if the kids need to get out of bed, and
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: like they're too afraid to get out of bed because
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: they want to get the sticker. Okay, I think that's stupid.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: I think it's a bit silly. I think when it
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: comes they go into the toilet, they will get out
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: of bed.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I can tell your attitude about people's response on here,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: and we can fix this really easily. Go on, you
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: change your word negativity to feedback.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, how does that work? So the feedback says, I
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: already feel better about it. I'm sure what your process
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: is for them knowing when they can get out of bed,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: But we found a digital clock that changes color at
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: a specific set time, usually green for go, and that
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: is when they can get up. Has helped more than
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: you could imagine. How I like that that's a good
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: that's good feedback. I heard of something similar like that before.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: My kids this morning, they've lately they've been waking up.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: April goes to the gym at five o'clock every morning.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: She's a workhorse.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: But the kids now are waking up because they hear her,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: mainly because I haven't WD forty the bathroom door and
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: now it's squeaky and it keeps waking up.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: So it's my fault, apparently.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: And then this morning I could hear them and I
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: could hear one of them going, we should go to
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: daddy's bed, and I was like.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Standing right man. And then now they're like, they're like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: can we come in yet? And I'm just like no,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: just now they've just bypassed my room.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Then they're in the lounge room at five o'clock in
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: the morning with the lights on, the lego flipping around
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: the room.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: TV. Yeah, this TV.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: It's like, I can't hear it's oscars pouring rice bubbles
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: all over the fucking kitchen floor.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: It's a shimmuzzle. We need a reward chart. Yeah, let
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: me work on that ash Whilst that marinates in my head.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Marina had a way, big guy, what segment. Is it?
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: It's paranastly regression. You don't want so just tell me
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: what your parent? Do you want my grandpa?
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: You at the shop?
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: You don't want advice from frangers, Go and tell me
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: what is your parent. I didn't hear back the intro
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: song until this morning. Jess Produce has had the pleasure
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: of editing that one, and she said it's terrible. It's
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: pretty bad. So it's perfect. It's pretty bad. I thought
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: we were like right on time with the beat. Oh no, Jesse,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: have you used different backing track? Is it backing track?
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: That's betters that? Like? What is going on there? She
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: told me that she used AI to make it better?
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Oh god? Anyway, anyway, can I go first? Really? And
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I want to have a little rant first.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna preface this by saying that it's going
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: to be a little story into a rand. I hope
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: that's okay. This morning, Okay, this is fresh fresh gear
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: this morning. Kids not listening night, mean to get him
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: out of the house.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Anyway.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: We finally get out of the house, we get halfway
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: to school, starts to rain. Now I've told you my kids,
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: school has quite a long track to get down. I'm
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: already late. Oscar's late for school. And first of all,
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: I got a little bit of dad guilt here because
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: I had Macy in the car too, is doing the
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: double drop. And we get to the top and I
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: get out of the car and it's not raining, but
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: it's not sprinkling. It somewhere in between there, and I'm
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: like to Oscar, You're gonna have to walk down the rain,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: my guy, I'm so sorry.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Gave h mccuddle blah blah blah blah blah.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: And I immediately I was like, okay. I sat in
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: the car, in the nice dry car. Oscar walked in
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: the rain down the path and he looked back, gave
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: me a wave.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Came another wave.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Macey gave it a wave, and I just felt, really
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I felt fucking horrible. I felt because he had to
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: walk down in the rain. I've just blown up at
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: them at home. Yeah, yeah, feeling like shit. And I
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, fucking whatever. Anyway, I messaged April to say, hey,
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: just so you know, this is what happened. I feel
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: really really bad, but maybe call and check on him.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't get a response, right, and then I'm here,
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: get no respond and I get a screenshot from April
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: that it's say, and I'm going to read it to
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: you from the school. Okay, and I want to round
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: about this specifically. Okay, just read this.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Just read just read that out. Just keep in mind's
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: in kindergarten. Dear parents and cares. We are excited to
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: announce that our kindergarten excursion to Nope, that's the wrong one. Sorry,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: that couldn't be more perfect. Fuck. Sorry, that's funny. Dear
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: miss Wicks, your child Oscar Wicks was marked partially absent
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: late on arrival. What's the time on there? Read it out?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Read it out? Late to school at nine o three
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: a m. Get fucked. As a part of department policy,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: we are now required to monitor and attain a reason
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: for all partial attendance, including late arrivals. Surely there's a
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: little buffer, right, Okay, this is my rant. But finally,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: from the story to the rant, Wait, what time did
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: you wave him off? Not like nine am? Okay, that's late.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not the late thing I'm worried about.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, stop lay thing.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to rant about our fault, Oscar's fault.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, really And then he did.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Dawdle in the rain down there, because I did say
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: once don't run in the grain, you'll get more wet,
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: and that was silly, and now he's dawdling in the rain,
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: he gets really wet. Anyway, I think my rant is
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: parents have got enough on their plate. Okay, it's hard
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: enough to get two kids out of the door on time,
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: get yourself out of the door. Buffer is needed. If
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: it was like nine thirty ten o'clock, send me that email.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is is a bit rich. Give
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: us some buffer. I've already felt guilty about that. I'm
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: letting my kid walk down in the rain after yelling
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: at him at home. And then I get that and
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this is unbe give us a break.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: That is adding insult to injury. Well said, and it's.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Like there's parents out there and I'm thankfully, very lucky
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: that what I do for a job is very flexible
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: unless you're in a bad mood, and it's not very flexible.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what Jess, she's the problem. She's the real problem.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: And then you know, like it parents out there that
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: have got to be at work at certain times and
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: not every there's not one morning in your house that
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: goes to plan.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Right when it when's the last time? Never?
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Never, and that every other family would be the same
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: where it's like there's something, there's always fucking something going
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: on that you're gonna be late.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Give us a break, No no, three, no five, sure, no,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: no no.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I reckon nine fifteen, nine to fifteen on words, you
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: could say nine ten, But through kindergarten.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's if there were like a year six kid.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm no better, I'm going. I'm going.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: When Os gets home, I'm like, where the fuck were
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: you for fifteen minutes?
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: You know, like I dropped you off? Now I'm getting
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: the school call me? Where were you? Just turn the
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: lights on the l I'm sorry, I'm sorry I had
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: to go through that. I agree with you, I agree
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: with you. You've done a great job. It's the that's
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: the faulty.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: I still I feel really guilty and I can't wait
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: to get home and give them a cuddle.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Who probablysly, No, look I did. I felt really really
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: really bad.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't need that. And yeah, there'd be other parents
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: that are same, because I wasn't the only one. And
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: you know, like I said people.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: That love that. I wasn't the only one. Yeah, it's
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: was later than me. Anyway, that's my rant, go ran away,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Ran Away. This one Ash is from Maddie and she says,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: why the fuck do kids sleep late on school days
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: and then get up super early on the weekends. I
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: want to snooze, Yes, Maddie, see, it's more like they're
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: excited to get up.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: I think, because April's really guilty of this, I'm going
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: to throw open on the bus.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Please, April goes.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: It's Friday, okay, we have two fun filled family days
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Tomorrow and Sunday. First of all, don't over promise, because
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm going to feel like tomorrow.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I could be lazy. I don't know, you don't know.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Don't don't promise the world at hand. In Atlas, that's
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: the first thing you do. But then also, they're super
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: excited now they don't want to go to bed on
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Friday night, and Friday night's are for.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Wing wing, you know what I mean?
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Ash in April time, not really, but then it's like
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: then they go up at five am, what are we
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: doing today?
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Oh man?
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: I lower the expectation, dude, and I think that's what's
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: happening this morning.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: The time my kids got out of bed seven forty
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: that's the fucking dream. No, what they get picked up,
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: my sister takes them to school. Oh, our driver takes
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: them to school. My sister gets here at eight point fifteen. Yeah,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: so I'm like, Mother's like what And I'm like, as
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: they're in ben, Ye're like shoving milk down the throat.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Isn't either weekends those things that they're up. Yeah, five o'clock,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: give us, give us a break. Anyway. Who else I got? Oh,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: this is from Selena, which is this is a very
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: unique one.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: It won't be I suppose if you have twins, this
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: will this will grind you get Someone might say boiler water.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know whatever, Selena, the twins aren't multiple in
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: the government's eyes, so we get zilch help.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: So I think what she means there is in terms
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: of having more kids, and you would get help from
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: the government in certain aspects. I'm not sure what she's
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: trying to get.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: She's like, I just want to do car How hard
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: is it? But like, because that they're born on the
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: same day, they're considered as one. I mean, we could
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: do our research and look into this, but who has
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: time for that? Whatever came from research, Matthew surely, Like,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: if you're getting like support from the government, you'd get
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: double because you've got twins. No, because I would say,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: how many kids have you got? Yeah?
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: So like for example, daycare, here we go daycaret we
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: try and define this, not to find it. We're trying
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: to describe this daycare. Okay, you get a subsidy. That's
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: a big word for me. Subsidy right as certain wage
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: brackets and stuff like that for each kid. But they
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: might see the twins as one kid. Are they Siamese?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry if they are, That's what I'm wondering.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how is well, what's the conversation Selena is
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: having with the government? She like, how dare you not
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: support my Siamese twins. They're like, ma'am, you.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: Have one trial, they got two heads, god twice as
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: many mouths.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, I think that's there's got to be
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: some sort of justice for Selena.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: What do we want? We don't know. We're not quite
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: sure anyway, Selena, really you also you have that on
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: that please some more context right back to us. Yeah.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I like how there's no context because of them. We
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: can just assume we're getting zilt.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: Surely, surely, like I have these kids for no goddamn reason.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Very good. I don't care. This one's from Laura, and
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: I don't want this to turn into us attacking the
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: parents who are having their rants. I want their rants
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: to be heard. I don't want their rants to be questioned.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: So far, we're just mocking them, and I'm I'm on
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: board with that.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: But La Laura says PRAM parking spaces should be wider,
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: not locking each other out, saying it sister, okay, okay, okay,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: just like Laura is going to be like, stop yelling.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: I'm projecting. But aren't we using the boot of the
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: car for the PRAM? I think, oh, she wants sorry,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: she wants the wider because it's hard because you've got
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: to get the kids in the.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Door open wide, okay, maneuver the child in. Yeah, I
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: get it, I get okay, door open. Then you've got yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on board. I'm on board. Your kid's doing
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: ninja worrying before, so I apologize. I thought she wanted
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: to put the PRAM in the side of the car.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: But it's wow, when are you putting the pram in?
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: I was like, what kind of rand is There's like
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: pram goes in the front seat, guys.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Put the get in the boot. She's got it all wrong.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Okayt least the questions, Yes, finally got what have we
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: got here?
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: What's the last fight, if, if you will, that you
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: had with your beautiful wife Laura.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Got a good quest, big deep, because I know you
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: guys never fight. Look, okay, the thing that I did
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: wrong was a cheek jab.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know, say it again, I said, because I
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: dig deep, because I know you guys really fight.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I'm quite fresh language. What language is that? I don't know.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: The last fight we had. Last fight we had was
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: yesterday fresh. It was very fresh, and this morning we
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: only have small little TIFFs. It's like it's just a bicker.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I find it's a bigger I say, bickers keep the
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: relationship interesting.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: They do is pushing Paul, pushing Paul, and you know,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: sometimes I'm in the I'm in the wrong and and
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: I'm pulling. It's it's a bit of push and Paul
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: every time I'm in the wrong. Okay, Well, so what
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: I did wrong. Ash. Sometimes in my head, I know
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: I have to do something and I just forget. That's
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: totally fair. I don't see a problem with that. So
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: that reminds me. Actually, So my sister speaking about pickup
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: drop offs, very lucky in that we have kids that
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: go to the same school. Same scenario with the daycare.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: We have one child each that goes to the same daycare,
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: so we share the pickup drop off. Very good. That
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: is convenience. It's convenient with the capital cdly convenient. Thank you.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: And my sister said, hey, I'm running early. I can
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: pick up the kids running early? Is that an expression? Fuck?
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: You're throwing me anyway, carry on and on that particular afternoon,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Laura was picking up the kids, okay with you. I
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: was already in conversation with my sister. She said, I
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: can get the kids. I said, great, get the kids.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: And I should have messaged Laura and said, don't worry
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: about getting the kids, my sister's going to get them.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: I forgot because I was at the gym. And so
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Laura raises the daycare as she calls me. She's like,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: where the fucking kids, and also like the gym's like, oh, yeah,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, Kate's picked them up, and she's
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: like where are you? And I'm like, I'm at the
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: gym and so Laura's raised from work. That's a bad,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: bad mistake. And I should have said I should have
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: said my bad, I'm sorry.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: You didn't you doubled down. But I was like, anyway,
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: you need to swallow the pride that I get it.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: I'm the same I always go. I always think, how
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: can I wheeze on my way out of this? But
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: that's not my fault.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: But when it is good, defense is a strong offense.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And I think, like communication is key. Shut up, shut up.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: Do ask me what did you an April find about.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you guys have a fight, thank you.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: We don't often same thing like bickers, never nothing, no
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: argie bargie. Yeah, we did have a fight over we were
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: going to see I'm actually going to blame Becky Lucas
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: on this. We were going to see Becky Lucas and
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: before so, April's mum was coming over to watch the
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: kids because it was on quite early, which is lovely
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: from home early, and we had the discussion about driving
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: because it's Sunday, nights at night out people who's going
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: to drive, who's going to drink? Yeah, who's going to drive,
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: who's going to drink, who's going to have more drinks,
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: who's going to have less? And I said, hey, I'm
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: happy to spot us an uber there and back so
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: we both can enjoy the night together. And April said no,
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: she said, I don't feel like drinking at all.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I want to come.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: I'll enjoy myself, but I want I need to get
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: up early for Jim tomorrow morning, because that's responsible responsible.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: And she was like, I'll drive back, so I'll write there,
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I'll drive back. And usually I'm fine with that and
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I do majority of the driving. I'll do that all
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: the time anyway, but I just wasn't feeling it. I
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: was like, look, I was like, I want to have
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: a couple of drinks this afternoon, go in a good mood,
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: come home.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: And she was like, okay, well I can just drop
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: that's fine, and I was like sweet. Uh.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: And then a couple of hours go past, I've had
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: a couple of beverages, cleaning up the house, making sure
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: the kids are good, just doing stuff around the house
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: that I do, and then I cracked a can and
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: we're April's mum was in the house too, so she
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: was ready there. I cracked a can and April comes
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: out and she was like, I just heard you crack
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: a can.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Ye, how are we going to get there?
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: And I said, wh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa you said,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: and I took your word that you're going to drive,
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: and she was like, I said it was sarcasm, and.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whoa, No, you did it. It's
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: pretty selfish from you though, to have a couple of
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: drinks pre gig. So she has to do both legs
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: of the dry Yeah, why offer rich?
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's app I offered to pay for us to
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: go there and back because I was like, I would
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: much rather do that. We can have dinner. We've got time,
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: we've got to sit, let's have dinner. Let's do this.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: But that got poop pooed, It got shoved in the face.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: She needs to go to the gym first. Some ways around.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like it became that thing where
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: she said one thing but meant another thing apparently, And
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: I just I just.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Think it's pretty pretty obnoxious during during the day. It
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: wasn't during the day. It was like an hour. I'm
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: sure the jobs that you were doing would have like
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: the quality would have deteriorated. No, no, it was like this.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: April got that whole hour or two to get ready
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: because she needs that.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: And I cleaned the house with a couple of actually
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: mid strength beers if I'm honest. Next question, we have
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: god autro music. I gave solutions. I can't end it there.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: I gave solutions. Next question, Next question you're asking me,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I'm asking you asking your show. Why don't you playing
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: out the front door? How do you do that? Let's go,
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: what are three things that you swore you would never
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: do as a parent, but now you do it a podcast?
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: And that's all we have time for.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Kim easy, It's funny, isn't it a good time over here?
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: I love you? I love you? Sorry? Three things go?
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Number three?
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: I would say number three screen time. I would always
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: thought that I'm not going to need that, and I
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: think there's a lot of people out there that would
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: be in that list.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. Screen time is like a classic delusion.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: It is a beautiful thing, like there is nothing that
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: will shut the child up quicker. It's like giving them
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: like a like a little cyanide pill. Well said, like,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: it're just it is crazy. They could be having to
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: crack the worst meltdown ever and you just like, I
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: just need twenty minutes of silence and put TV on,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: give them the iPad.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: Oh it's it's three. It is like crack, but not
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: that of that cheap stuff. It's like good c good crack.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: It's the top level crack.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: It's like well made synthetic cra what's your number three? Okay,
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: number three would be sharing a bed co sleeping. Oh.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I remember speaking to the parents and being like, I
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: will never know. It's just easy. You know, it's just
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: like a brothel in that room. People are coming and going.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: You want to choice the words there, my friend, I'm
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: getting tired. It's end of the podcast. But now I
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: almost I enjoy it. Well obviously with the rewards chart
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: at certain points, I think you enjoy it.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: I'm a deep sleeper, so I could literally I've had
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: like Marley laying on my face.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Oh god, oh my goodness, I've.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: Had I've had Marley like laying across like her backs
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: across my face.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, you mean, I'm I'm a light sleeper.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: So it infuriates me, but I do love the morning cuddle.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: That's about it.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: Guilty, guilty. My next one was like baby talk and
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: you're a king for that. Guilty as well.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it just rolls off. Yeah.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you've got girls, especially, it's so easy.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: And what you're doing there he is, Yeah, that's my
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: number two. You boo boom. It's the biggest. Well we
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: snacky wacky. Why do I have an erection? It's a bit,
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: it's an ick.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: I think like in public, oh yeah, but at home,
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: I think it's fair game.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: It's better. It's you know what the best is when
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: you're in public and then you're like your mate. So
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: when I fucking down the fucking popular day and I was.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Like, what's up, what's up? What's up? Like yourself? Anyway?
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: One fifties on the slippers and anyway.
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: So then I fucking put twenty bucks on the nose.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, what a seamless gear change? Yeah? Number two.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: I this might sound weird, but I remember saying to myself,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I'll never give my child a bottle like breast milk only.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: Ah yeah, Laura, feed that child free range breastfed child.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I was always like, why would anyone decide to use
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: the formula for the child that's disgusting, like breast is best.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: And then Laura just stopped making breast milk. I was like,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: what straight up already look at Yeah, a few months
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: in it was just like that things run.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: Dry, and it's like, yeah, I think that's the naivety
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: or like that not the naive that's the you just
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: don't know what you don't know, especially as a man.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: We put not a whole lot of like study into
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: what is possible and what then the different you know,
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: like for example, like Oscar had a dairy intolerance, so
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: it's like we could have easily gone to a dairy
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: free formula. Like there's all these different variations that can
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: happen because we're all different. My number one go on
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: I always and this is absolute delusion to the full
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: and the highest regard hit me. I said that I
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: would never yell at my kids.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: That's my now. I yelled at It's like a sport.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm hunting humans in my eyes. I remember
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: my sister and not to call her out, but I
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: was like, gosh, she just yelled at them non stop.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: It's sub human the way she.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: Treats her children. I just sounded exactly like human. That's
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: my exercise routine now, just yelling.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: It gets my blood, my pulses out. I'm shredding at
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: the same time you buster when the kids are at
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Dacre in school because I miss it. It is good
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: to laugh. If you've laughed at this episode, please subscribe
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: or we've triggered you either one. Yeah, you're currently no.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Come in Christmas stars. Send it to a friend. It's important.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Send it to a friend, Send.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: It to a delusional friend, and things that they're not
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: going to yell at their kids.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: And I think, oh yeah, it does feel good though,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: what yelling? Oh yeah, right yeah? And then ashback. Can
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: they find us on social media?
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: To earning dads on Instagram and the Facebook and the
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: TikTok and I don't mean the globe liveing.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: On amusing me out of here, you see, guys. Maye
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, see and community.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestright Islander
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: peoples today