Latest / I Do, Part 2 / 1/3 of Men Think Wives Should “Obey” Their Husbands: Happy International Women’s Day!

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1/3 of Men Think Wives Should “Obey” Their Husbands: Happy International Women’s Day! · I Do, Part 2

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hey, the folks, it is Sunday, March eighth, I do believe,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and happy International Women's Day. Now shut up and do
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: what you're told. And with that, welcome to this episode
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of Amy and TJ. Obviously, I am not TJ. Holmes
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: telling anybody, any woman to shut up, but Robes, I
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: think some might be surprised to think at just how
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: many men these days actually do go along with that sentiment.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, I actually think this is quite shocking.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: There is a new study that has been put out,
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: actually in coordination with International Women's Day. But the interesting
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: thing is for me, I'm curious where you fall on this,
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: but as a woman, I am shocked that it is
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: the younger generation of men in this world, according to
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: this latest survey, who believes in the tradition or like
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: the ageal traditional gender role type of scenario more so
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: than the older generation. That was a shocking revelation to me.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess we need to dive into
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: this a little more to kind of figure it out.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, it does vary from country to country. This
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: was a survey done I think they I believe they
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: surveyed men from twenty nine different countries around the world.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: The big headline that you'll see if you're jumping on
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: line today or maybe even in the next day or two,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: is this headline thirty one percent.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Or they say a third of gen.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Z men believe that women should always obey the husband.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: And wish you was starting with that. What's gen z?
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I can't ever keep these people straight. Millennials, all this stuff.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I get confused as well.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: But gen Z is determined as folks born between nineteen
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: ninety six and twenty twelve. So both of my daughters
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: fall in that age generation.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: So twenty twelve.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Ava was born in two thousand and two and she's
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: twenty three, So thirty three and then ninety six would
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: put you in the category of being.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Thirty, right or forty gen z.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I'm so bad.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Nineteen ninety six is twenty twenty six, so that would
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: be thirty thirty gen Z would be thirty No, forty, sheez.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I am so bad with math. Nineteen ninety six to
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: twenty twelve.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Please help me with somebody who has better sense about
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: numbers than me.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Those are the years that people are born. Is that correct? Correct? Okay?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: All right, so that's twenty twelve. That was was fourteen
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: years ago. If you were born in twenty twelve, is
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: that correct?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, you'd be fourteen.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, so then the raine you're going back to that
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: is ninety six, two thousand and six, sixty and thirty.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: That's thirty to fourteen years old.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Those are younger people, not forty, right, correct?
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: So ages thirty to fourteen you now, and that is.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Is that correct? Do we have that number right?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Yes? That's sad but true.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, because millennials are nineteen eighty to nineteen ninety five,
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: and then gen X, which is you and me, is
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: nineteen sixty six to nineteen seventy nine, and then baby
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: boom boomers are nineteen forty five to nineteen sixty five.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Everyone get that straight.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're talking gen Z gen Z younger folk, very young.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: What's a millennial? So I even not bring that up
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: right now?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: No? I so I actually so a millennial nineteen ninety five,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: so that would be twenty nine would be the oldest
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: millennial right now?
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Correct? Sorry, don't give me math problems at any point
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: in my life. I'm terrible. If I was born in
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: seventy three, seven years old, seven years younger than me.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I don't even know where you're going with this a
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: question anymore. So anyway point being gen Z, let's focus there,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: gen Z.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: So this is the generation that believes, at least a
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: third of them around the world, that women should always
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: obey the husband. And it was very interesting because even
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: with all of those generations, the majority of men who
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: were surveyed for this International Women's Day survey believe that
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: men have gone so far in helping women achieve a
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: quality that now those same men are being discriminated against.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: I am curious, as a gen xer yourself where you fall.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: I don't believe that you you believe that women should
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: always obey the husband?
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Am I correct in that belief?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know how anyone could fill out a survey
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: at what point ever in time? Obey is a weird thing. Positions,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: traditional roles track wives, you know that whole thing that
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: is one thing. Obedience is a different word. So if
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: the survey was conducted in that way and asked in
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: that manner, that is peculiar to me. Obey is different,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: do what you're told, follow the man's lead. That's different
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: than oby. That sounds like a more extremist scenario.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: So I would say when it comes to that, I
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: have heard that referred to when it comes to men
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: and women, but mostly in biblical terms, in religious terms.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: And so obviously when I say.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Biblical, when you're talking about the world, it isn't just
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: about Christianity.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: It's all religions.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: But I do think there are folks who are of
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: certain religionious beliefs that do think that there needs to
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: be one person who ultimately is the leader, perhaps the
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: moral leader, the family leader. And oftentimes when you look
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: at religion history speaking, it is the man who is
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: deemed to be closer to God.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: If you go back to Adam and Eve, Adam was.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: The original it was one of his ribs that, according
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: to the Bible, that created Eve, and so by default,
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: the man might be closer to being godlike. Therefore, the
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: woman believes the man might have a better or a
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: stronger or a closer connection to God. That was always
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: the way it was described to me. And so maybe
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: perhaps I'm putting this out there. I can't get in
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: the mind of a gen Z man around the world,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: but there are historic religious foundations for this belief that
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: women should obey their husbands, and that used to be
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: in marital vows.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Did it not?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: But does this go coincide then with the has there
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: been I guess more of an emphasis on religion in
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: recent years? Has there been more? And again this was
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: done in so many countries, it was not just in
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: the United States. But has there been more of a
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: call to God from a younger generation, then this would
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: maybe go in line with that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting and there are a lot of
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: different philosophies or people trying to figure out why we're
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: where we are now. Because I think this is so
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: interesting that if you have thirty one percent of gen
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Z men around the world, we should point out this
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: is not here in the United States.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: This also includes.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: All twenty eight other countries that a wife should always
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: obey her husband. But if you think about that, only
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: thirteen percent of men who are baby boomers believe that
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: this is something that I would have thought intellectually as
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: a woman.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Given all the access we have to.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Just the way people think and just international internet connections
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: to how everyone is, that there would be a reckoning
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: of source where people recognize equality and recognize that we
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: all bring different things to the table, and that there
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: should be a sense of equality, the idea that baby
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: boomers only thirteen percent of men who were baby boomers
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: believe that.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Thirty one percent of Gen Z men think that, how
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: do you? I don't know how to explain that.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: They get it. They've lived life, they've seen the world change,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: they've evolved, and they've evolved with it. I'm that actually,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I older folks aren't as stubborn as as sometimes a
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: society would, at least in pop culture, suggest they are.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And I think it's the young'ins that would be more
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: bull headed. I think, yeah, older folks have lived a
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: lot of life ropes. How many times? How much have
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: you changed in the past two years? Because you've lived
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: enough life to understand, to see, and to and to
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: know you could be wrong and that you were wrong
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: at some point along the way. I think, Yeah, to
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: that point, I kind of get it, and I'm kind
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: of hopeful. That makes me hopeful to hear that number.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: It doesn't make me hopeful when I do talk to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: folks like your daughter. Sometimes when I talk to younger
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: folks who they got it all figured out. We got it.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Y'all ain't no, no, y'all ain't just y'all ain't hip to it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: We got it now, Yeah, maybe that's the case.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: You know what you just made.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I light bulb went off for me when you started speaking.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Because the idea we so often we talk about, we
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: read about the wisdom of older people, and yet do
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: we actually listen to their advice. Do we actually take
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: what they've experienced and recognize the value in that wisdom
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: and then apply it to our own lives?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Almost never, But that totally makes sense.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: You go out with this idea to protect yourself, to
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: make yourself feel more virulent, more powerful, more or whatever,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: and then life teaches you a lot of different lessons.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: And maybe that is the disparity here because some folks
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: who are trying to figure out why I mean, it
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: is a fairly shocking thing to hear that a third
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: of men gen z young men around the world think
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: that it should be that women should be obeying their husbands.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: And some of the folks who are trying to dissect
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: this and figure this out, say, look, a lot of
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: men in this world now, as women have gotten more opportunities,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: have had the opportunity to be educated, have had the
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: opportunity to go to college, and to make money, and
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: in many in several scenarios in different countries actually become
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: the breadwinners that maybe men are looking at women as
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: responsible for their rejection, for their low self esteem, for
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: their as they put economic insecurity, and so they're saying,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: now we have it backwards, that this is all messed up.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: We should go back to the way it was, the
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: whole Make America gradient. I'm not saying that that movement
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: is specifically responsible for any sort of response from this specific.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Poll that's out there.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: But certainly there are a lot of folks who believe
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: that there is this idea like men now feel rejected
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: in a way that they need to point the finger
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: at something, and maybe it is the Women's lib movement.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: This isn't accurate when you're saying, this isn't an actual pole,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: this is an emotional pole. This is guys maybe reacting.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: They don't necessarily believe this, but this is a reaction
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: to what the world has presented them. It's a reaction
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: to opportunity that women have gotten. It's a reaction to equality.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: That is what a lot of people are pointing to.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: But it is still shocking to hear.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: I am personally surprised at these numbers are you I'm curious,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: as a man who is a gen xer, are you
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: surprised by this?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: The extentive male idiocy never surprises me. I'm serious. We
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: hold on anytime anybody begins to get more rights, begin
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to evolve, to get more support, any class, any protected class,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: another class then feels like they're losing something. How can
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: women gain? If women gain, that means men must be losing.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: That's the mindset we often have. I didn't I didn't
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: you know, I did not do research on this topic.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking through this as we're talking here, and that's
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: beginning to make sense to me. We have this thing
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: that we if one group wins, another loses. That for
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: if women are gaining, men are losing, and then attitudes
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: start to change. So the numbers are starting to make
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: sense to me. Okay, what I'm saying.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: That is very interesting.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: All Right, when we come back, I'm gonna ask you TJ,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: because I know you haven't done a deep dive on
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: these numbers. If you think men should figure out problems
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: on their own before asking help that answer when we come.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Back, all right, we can do you here on Amy
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and DJ Cat. This is like the perfect Sunday right now,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: having a conversation with my with my love. I got
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: a espresso martini in front of me. I got a
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: great college basketball game going this Sabine has been great
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: and hanging with her today is the weather has been nice.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: This is a wonderful, wonderful day. And then we ruin
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: it by once again reminding the world that men are idiots.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: No, but you know what this is. But this is
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: a fascinating conversation.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: And it's funny because we're watching just so everyone knows
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: the Michigan Michigan State basketball game.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I actually called my dad a few minutes ago. I
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: was walking. It was beautiful. I thought, let me check
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: in with my parents.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: My Dad's like, yeah, can I call you back? Michigan
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Michigan States on I need to go.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Just if anybody wondered if we ever take these ahead
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: of times as real time as.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: Against in full disclosure, I was born in Lansing, Michigan.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: My dad is a Michigan State grad, and he is
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: heavily invested in this game. And it's extremely close right now,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: and I'm kind of also allured by this. This is
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: a heated rivalry that has gone on for decades and
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: will probably be so for Oh wow, the tension in
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: the crowd is palpable. But we now talk again about
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: what's going on on this.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: International Women's Day.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: By the way, Happy International Women's Day to all you
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: fellow women out there.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: But yes, as.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: We thrive, you know, you get to this point where
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: now there is a reaction and maybe an overcorrection. And
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: some would say maybe men are feeling that overcorrection and
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: wanting to reassert their dominance whatever it is.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: But I thought, look, the big headline is a third
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: of men.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: Around the world who are young, who are thirty years
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: old and younger. Took us a while to figure out
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: that math, but that is in fact what we're talking about.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: Believe that women should obey, wives should obey their husbands,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: that that is the way forward. Now there are a
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: lot of they asked. I think there were thirteen questions
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: in this poll. It was all very interesting. I thought
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: this one was extra interesting for all of you wives
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: or any women in relationships with men out there. There's
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: a going joke always about men refusing to ask for directions. Yes,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: I guess in the era of Google Maps that maybe
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: has all not even become something we even talk about
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: anymore because we can all just ask Siri. But I
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: am curious, babe. Do you think as a man, I'm
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: just curious.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Do you think you should figure.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Out your problem before asking me or anyone else for
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: help or guidance?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yes? Not as a man. That's anything I'm doing, anything
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: any of us are doing. If I'm in the kitchen,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: if I am trying to figure out where something goes,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: if I'm in the theater room trying to figure out
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: how to log into a particular streaming service, if I'm
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: in the back trying to figure out it doesn't matter.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. In day to day life, every little thing
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: you do, you try to figure it out and then
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: you go, oh crap, I need help. But what's natural?
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: What does it take for you to get to that
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: point where you would actually ask me or someone else.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I'll ask anybody. I don't have time to waste. Okay,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: that's just me, and I'm trying to leave room for
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: somebody else feeling differently about it, but that is my mindset.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: The male female nothing robes. How many times you know this?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: How many times a day I can't figure something out?
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I say, by what does that mean, I've never heard
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: of that. You'll say a word to me, I say,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: what does that word mean? I'll ask you. I ask
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: you constantly if I don't know something, we don't have
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: time to waste. The male female thing doesn't come into
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: any kind anywhere in my mind as I'm doing that.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: That might be age, that might be experienced, that might
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: be you're my best friend, that might be all kinds
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: of things, But I just I just don't the male
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: female part of that. It is not a part of
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: the equation.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: I think when it's this is my perception of you
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: problem solving. I think when you think it's reasonable to
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: ask for help, when it's reasonable.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: That you wouldn't know it, you will. But if you
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: think you should know it, you won't even let me in.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: You'll be like, I got this, I'm on it. What
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: like you? Just you do?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: You? You do have a mindset where I would say,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: and maybe it annoys you, but I'll ask you for
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: help while I'm trying to figure it out. I do
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: think there's a difference and I and maybe it's gender based,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: maybe it's not. But this study showed that thirty two
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: percent of men, So that's again around the same. A
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: third of men think I should figure out my problem
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: on my own before I ask for help, And I
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: would say that I would ask for help while I'm
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: trying to figure it out.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: But I think, I mean, that doesn't sound so I
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: don't have the what's the language on that one? Again?
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Because that doesn't seem Yes, don't we all try to
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: figure it out before we ask for help?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: No, I think I would ask for help while I'm
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: trying to figure it out.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Like I would be like, hey, if you got an
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: answer while I'm trying to google this, or like, I
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: don't know, put on my glasses and read the fine
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: print if.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: You know, like I'll take that. Like I do think
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: A more male ego driven mode of operation to say
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: I got this, and I'm not saying you don't have it,
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: but I am.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Actually And maybe it's call it, maybe.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: It's deferring to someone else, or maybe this maybe I'm
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: on a foundation of how could I possibly know this
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: on my own? And you're thinking, why wouldn't I know
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: this on my own? There is a different sometimes a
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: different place I think where we're coming from from a
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: gender based expectation that I think I shouldn't know it,
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: and you think you should know it, And so I'm like, hey.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: You know because I don't.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: And you might be like I should know this and
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I'll figure it out before asking for help.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. No, I just I give it just something
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: that makes sense generally speaking. I'm just I'm forty eight.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I just I'm running out of time to try to
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: figure this out on my own. I could use some help.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Let's save some time.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: So the interesting way that they put this, so this
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: was an IPSO study. I found that so they put
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: this all in one sentence. I'm curious what you think
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: about this. Forty three percent of gen Z men believe
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: men should.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Try to be physically tough when necessary.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: Wait, say it again, it said forty three percent of
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: gen Z men believe young men should try to besly.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Tough, should try to be physically tough.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: And when it came to more emotion centric prompts, thirty
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: two percent of men agreed that men should figure out
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: problems on their own before asking for help. That was
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: where I was trying to get this idea of masculinity,
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: like I got this, I can take care of this,
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: I can figure this out.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I don't need anyone else's help.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: And that's why I went to the whole I don't
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: need to ask for directions thing because that was always
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: kind of like the go to explanation where I felt
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: like that was.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: The thing they were kind of referring to generally.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, is it masculine to not have to ask for
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: help in changing a newborn's diaper? You see what I'm
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: getting at?
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Is it a matter of the task or that me
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: handling the task on my own? Right? You know what
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. No one, you look at a man over
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: there changing a diaper. You don't think that's manly. You
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: don't think that's a stud I think you don't think
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: that's looking over that. Yeah, it's sexy as hell, and
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't have to ask for help in doing it. Right.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: What is it we we keep assigning these these things?
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: What is masculine and what is being a man? Is
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: it being a man to not ask for help? Is
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: it being a man to not at it? That's manly? Okay,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: that's fine, some people can see it's that way. I
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: know what we were getting at here, robes. But then the
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: task that you don't ask for help in doing coleaning
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: the dishes, handling the dishwasher. I didn't ask for help
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: on that. I swept the floors, I made the bed,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I sprayed downy wrinkle release on the damn thing. I
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: did all these things and didn't have to ask for help.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Are those not manly chores?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I think they are?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Okay? Then what are we doing?
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Then?
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: What are we doing right? We we're just struggling with
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: what is supposed to be manly behavior and not and
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: we're just seeing I guess rogues generations kind of shift.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: The older generation that grew up with that thing has
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: now grown up and grown old and figured out, Wow,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: we didn't get it right. And now the younger generation
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: is trying to figure this ish out and they will.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: That's interesting and I guess that's hopeful the way you
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: put it that, maybe we're just looking at a younger
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: generation who hasn't lived enough life to understand that we don't.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: That you don't need to prove anything to be something.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: And in a world where women are becoming more relevant,
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: in a world where women are more educated and am,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: in a world where women are earning more money, do
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: you think men are struggling for their role their identity.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Is that part of what is fueling some of this
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: that we're seeing in these types of.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: S's a mindset where if you are of an old
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: mindset of what a man is supposed to be, then
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: you have a problem with Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: being the Democratic nominee. That means you also have a
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: problem with your woman going out and making twice your
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: salary and not realizing, Wow, that's awesome that I got
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: a woman that can earn twice as much as me
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: and still wants to be with my bum ass. Right,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: we're looking at it all the wrong way. What is manhood?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: What is it now? That's that's I'm okay with the
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: evolution robes. I think it's kind of cool, and I
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: think it's kind of cool for the younger they're going
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: to figure it out like we did. Robes. There were
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: people our generation look back to, some members of our
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: own family, how they looked at our opposite races. Even
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: like I've our families evolved from a time right and
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: in their lifetime they changed in their own thinking because
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: of the world changing around them. This is kind of
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't know where this story was going, and this
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: stat hopeful in seeing this. Wow, that's hopeful because it's cyclical.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: We all figure it out, and we all think at
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: that age that we got to figure it out.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: I'm curious, and we'll wrap this up with your thoughts
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: on this. But when you were I guess thirty and under,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: so when you were in your twenties, teens, twenties, would
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: you have ever said, I'm just curious and I won't
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: hold this against you, that a wife should obey her husband.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's insanity. That's obey. Oh my god. Okay,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: First of all, the word obey should be banished. Who obeys?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: For like, give me any scenario, any relationship? A dog
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: obeys the bam okay, And if we start with that,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: that's the first one you can come up with, exactly.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: And that is why the obey?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Give me human and human? Is there any obey? Maybe
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: the the prisoner has to obey the warden. I don't
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: know what else is there other than that.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: I think that verb is so offensive when it comes
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: to a relationship.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: No, you never is it? Okay?
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I appreciate that, and thank you.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: That makes me feel what you.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Obey. But if you said I've obeyed you.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: You told me no, I've obeyed you.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: The point being is you and I have done that
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: and given each other those moments when we know it's
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: really important to the other person.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't call it obeying.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I think it's deferring, maybe in moments where it makes sense,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: and I get that I've deferred a lot.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: Fair But I'm curious do you think that? Do you
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: think that what the best way?
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: I'm so curious from a man's perspective, was there ever
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: a point in which, in modern times it was advantageous
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: or better for a relationship or a family for there
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: to be a head of household, for.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Someone to ultimately have the final.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Say okay, just my experience, no, to have the final
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: say no. No, one in a couple, in a relationship
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: gets veto power. We've done that jokingly. We can talk
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: about that in a second, but there is nobody that
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: is able to say, at the end of a debate,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I'm putting my foot down, that is it, and you
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: don't have any choice but to accept it. That is
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: not a partnership. No relationship works like that. If somebody
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: else in whatever world they live in, say that's the
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: way we want our household to work, not yourselves out.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, no, I don't subscribe to that. Even
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: it's laughable.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I just fell more in love with you. Is that possible?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: It shouldn't know, that's nothing. I didn't say anything there
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: should have been, But I will say.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: That I do think this is this, so, this, this poll,
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: this survey, this, these headlines that are out here on
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: this International Women's Day certainly get people up in arms.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: But I do think it's worth a conversation. I do
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: think that asking your partner or wondering what works, what
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: makes sense. And I do think it is shocking to
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: hear that the younger generations are like this. But I
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: appreciate your perspective. I appreciate the fact that you say
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: they'll figure it out.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we did too. We thought we had it all
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: figured out when we were in our teens twenties. Yes,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: we got it. You old folkies don't know what you're
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: talking about. Yes, everybody did. Yes. Do you know they
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: used to ride separate buses to school. That was still
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: in our parents. Yeah, generation, they figured it out, they
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: came around, It just happened. It's okay, they'll figure out.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: They'll be fine, I I.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: You know what, that is the best perspective I've heard
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: on this entire story.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: And you know what, So when.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: You read these headlines, hopefully you've listened to this episode
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: and you're like, you know what, it's gonna be.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, just give it some time. We appreciate that.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you for listening to us on this Sunday
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: and on this International Women's Day, I may be Roeboch
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: alongside my lovely partner TJ.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Holmes. We'll talk to you soon.