Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / It’s definitely NOT me, it's you.

Transcript

It’s definitely NOT me, it's you. · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places for chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about our crazy ability to be able to
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  look at other people and see what's wrong with them and not
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  necessarily see that in ourselves because you're all
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  laughing right now. And I know you are because it's
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  all true. We can always look at other
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  people and we can always see what's wrong with them.
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  But we rarely look at ourselves with the same, you know, finite
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  glass and say, well what is wrong with me?
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  As much as there is with other people.
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  And we always Look outside of ourselves for Solutions rather
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  than looking inside of ourselves to say.
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  Okay, I really need to look at myself instead of them or only
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  them and trying to figure it out.
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  So let's take one of our most important relationships that we
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  have, which is with our family. And it doesn't matter how your
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  family's made up, doesn't matter what the composure or no
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  composition of it, is it matters that you're looking at it and
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  you're saying to yourself, okay? I can look at myself and I can
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  see my role in this, in this layout of my family.
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  And I can see everything that's wrong with them.
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  I can see how they do all these things wrong.
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  I can see how they answer me. I can see their actions, I can
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  see everything that's wrong with them.
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  But in my including myself in this critical analysis that I'm
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  putting forward, am I giving an honest opinion of myself outside
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  of my critical eye for them? And the answer is a hard.
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  No, I already know. Oh, that that's a hard.
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  No, because that's the human nature that we live with each.
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  And every one of us is to look outside of ourselves for the
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  problems. Before we look at ourselves for
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  the problems, I myself do this, I can look at things and I can
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  tell you everything that's wrong with my husband, and my kids,
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  and how they're the cause of the issues, as opposed to me and
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  maybe how I'm communicating things with them, or how I'm
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  describing things to them, or my expectations of them or how The
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  expectations might just be absolutely unreasonable because
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  no one is going to be as organized as I am in these
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  situations or do it the way that I do it just because it's my
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  way. And if it's not my way then it
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  must be the wrong way. Well, that was probably one of
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  the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that my way was not
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  the only way to do something. And I think that when you can
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  stop and you can pause, especially if you are willing to
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  do this with your family. Ali, and then you can expand
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  out, you know, you have concentric circles of how live
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  life works and you can work yourself out and say, okay,
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  well, what about my co-workers or people I lead or people that
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  I have an effect on in my life. If you can start to work
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  concentrically out from the core, then you get better and
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  better and better as it goes and you can start to see how you
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  affect other people. So profoundly.
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  And you can start to see how you can look at yourself and say,
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  okay, well clearly I'm interacting in this in a way
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  That's making this difficult for the other person as well and if
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  we really want to clean ourselves up, if we really want
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  to clean the situation completely up, and we want to
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  make it so that we can hit new levels of greatness.
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  Now, you're all going to hear my little dog barking this morning
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  because she's out here with me, you'll start to recognize that
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  as you start to clean this up within yourself.
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  You can start to see shifts in other people because it's
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  impossible and I'm I'm really using that word truly.
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  Meaning it. I'm not doing it just as a
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  cliche. It is impossible for something
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  to remain the same when a factor in the equation changes.
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  It's the butterfly effect. So when something changes, even
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  if it's a my new amount, something else has to change and
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  that is across the board. So when someone will say to me,
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  okay, I'm willing to do this and then there's a shift, they'll
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  see a little shift in their partner, or their co-workers, or
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  whatever, and it will last for a period of time.
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  And then they'll say well we're right back.
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  Where we used to be and I will check in and I'll say well are
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  you remaining consistent with how you changed and there's
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  inevitably the pause and they go maybe not and I say okay so you
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  slipped back into an old behavior and they say probably
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  but because they weren't monitoring it because they
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  weren't critically on it. They could not discern if that
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  was really what was happening in the moment and they just slipped
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  back into the behavior. And so we went right back down
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  the rabbit hole again and as I always like to say not only did
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  Did you go down the rabbit hole? But you ended up seeing Alice
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  and having tea with the rabbit and enjoying your time down in
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  Wonderland and you didn't even realize it.
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  So what's so important is that you're willing to measure
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  success and failures over and over and over.
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  This is another mr. Miyagi moment from The Karate
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  Kid wax on wax off, you have got to be willing to do it over and
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  over and over. And this is why I say you've got
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  to track yourself. And say, okay what today, what
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  were my wins? Where could I have been better?
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  What can I do better tomorrow? And for most of us that is to be
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  very on track with monitoring our own behavior.
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  Our own language, our own reactions, our own Focus because
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  when we do that, everything else change.
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  Because I know you've heard me say this before and I sound like
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  a broken record but change is an inside job and when you change
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  yourself everything else around you changes.
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  So I'm going to challenge you to.
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  Look at this And say, you know, am I willing to look at myself
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  as critically as I am other people and if you do that, even
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  if you just start off today and you start to recognize how you
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  showed up in your, you know, point-blank honest with yourself
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  and you say, you know, alright, I was a complete jackass today,
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  I've had those days and not long ago where I was just a complete
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  jackass because maybe I didn't get enough sleep, or maybe I
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  wasn't hydrated enough or whatever, there's no reason and
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  I can come up with a million excuses.
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  But the truth is, I was Dreadful and I needed to fix it.
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  So start there, start with yourself.
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  Start looking at yourself and start asking the questions and I
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  promise you, we get some fascinating answers and you'll
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  work yourself through. So I hope you guys have a very
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  blessed day discovering yourselves and love yourself
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  anyway. Because guess what?
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  This is a part of Being Human, this is who we are.
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  So I will see you tomorrow and I hope you have a wonderful day.