Latest / I Do, Part 2 / I Do, I Don’t, I DO!

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I Do, I Don’t, I DO! · I Do, Part 2

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two. I'm one of your celebrity mentors,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Jen Fessler from Real Housewives of New Jersey and the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: podcast I co host Two Jersey Jays, and this is
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: very exciting. You all heard me probably tell my story
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: of how my husband Jeff and I met, got married
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and then took a little marriage detour and then found
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: our way back to each other. So today I am
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: bringing in my husband, Jeff, because we're going to chat
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: a little bit more about the part two of it all. Hi,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Jeff Fessler, Hello, how are you doing.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I'm doing fine.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So let me just tell our listeners that this is
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: not necessarily your not venue of choice. No, no, So
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to know us both is to know that Jeff Fesler
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: is way more of an intro than I am. And
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: would you say that that's true.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Situations?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, really, yes, Well, I mean right, social situations,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: work situations. All of a sudden, my husband becomes chatty Cathy,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: which has served to annoy me. So yeah, this is
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: not really your thing, So thank you for joining me.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I will tell you guys though, that being on TV
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: and part of the Housewives of New Jersey, Jeff has
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: enjoyed just as much, if not more than I have.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: No one really gets it, but right.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's a little bit different than what I
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: do on a daily basis. It is. It's very interesting.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Jeff's an attorney, right, right, So all right, just to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: kind of refresh you, guys, I'll tell you a little
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: bit in case you haven't heard the story about our marriage, separation, reconciliation.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Jeff jump in at any point if I get anything wrong,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I will so. Uh, seven years into our marriage, which
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: was so cliche, right, the seven year itch, we hit
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: a rough patch, right, And I don't know, we were
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: not communicating, right, We were kind of doing our own
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: trade young children.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, I was working all the time. Yes, And I
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: was with the two young children. Excuse me, you were
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: with the two young children.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Oh? I thought you said you were working with the
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: two young children.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, you were with the twos.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I was definitely with the two young children. And I
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: was kind of doing this cougar thing where and there
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: were a lot of women who I was friends with
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: in my town, and for whatever reason, like we were
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: always going out on Thursday nights, right, getting decked out,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: going out for I don't know, birthdays, but also just
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: to go out and flirt. And I tell you all
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: about because it's not to justify it. But there was.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: So there was some infidelity in our marriage. And it
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: did actually which no one ever believes it did, start
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: with Jeff Wessler.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: It did.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: It did, so I mean, I don't know, Well, let
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: me tell you the story first and I'll tell you
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: the sort of full picture. So that happened, and that
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: definitely happened.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: So let's just leave it at that. That happened, and
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: that's it. Just keep moving on. That was not it.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: That was not it. So that happened, and that was
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: obviously devastating. Sorry dude, but you know you play it. Yes,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: for both of us. Yes, we stayed together for a
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: little while after it happened.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Now, yeah, that's that's that's.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: That was definitely rough. Yes it was. And then at
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: some point I went to Florida with the kids, not
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: at some point over the summer that year, for the summer,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: and I went to go see my sister, my best friend.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just going to stay for the summer,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: got this, rented this little townhouse and put the kids
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: in camp with some of their friends, and I just
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: had myself a good old time. Yeah, I guess, yes,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: you weren't there, and I whooped it up and ended
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: up meeting this guy, nice guy and started something. And
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: basically Jeff came to visit that summer and I said, listen,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: it's over. We no, yes, remember we went to Disney
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: which with the kids Disney and I.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Was like, I think, yes, it was until December.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, we stayed together until December. But I remember
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: that conversation because it was not an easy conversation anyway,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: So we were officially separated as of that December. Jeff
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: moved into the city for March of I don't remember
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the dates. I actually think it's very sweet that you
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: remember the exact everything. So Jeff moved out, moved into
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: the city, and my boyfriend moved from Florida to New Jersey.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Can I just say, by the way, there's a lot
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: that went down that I regret, although you know, not
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: necessarily believe in regrets, but I would do things very
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: differently today. But so, my boyfriend at the time moved
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: to New Jersey and Jeff was in the city doing
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: his thing with his girlfriend and the kids were going
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: back and forth. And the truth is the entire time
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: that we were separated. It wasn't I guess what.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait, you skipped. So I moved into
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: the city and then was you know, I was working
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: and doing whatever, and then I started going out and
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: then found somebody. It wasn't like, what's the difference. It
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: wasn't a person. It wasn't the person.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Oh no, oh god, right, No it wasn't. Yes, no,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: it definitely wasn't that person. That's a whole other crazy,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that's a whole right. Yes, so, yes, exactly, that's true.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: But I will say that the whole time Jeff never
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: wanted to get separated. No, and so you know, it wasn't.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I don't think it was typical and that like you
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: look at the p K and or read of it.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: All right, well, yeah, you watched Beverly Hills and the
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: way that they're starting to go after each other. We
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: just never had that.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: We didn't really even get into the money, right. We
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: just didn't like when we were like getting we were
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: going to get divorced, and it wasn't like this.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Well I do remember one thing.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Oh god, is we did you know what enough of you?
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: On this point? We did go to a mediator, right,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: And it was the only time we went I think
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: no more than once I went to a mediator and
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: then you were like, basically, well, this is what I
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: want this and then she said, well you have to
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: leave something for him fifty fifty me.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Wait what, Oh, that's true, that's true for him. I
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: hate that. You remember that?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, I blocked remember that.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess apparently I was being very piggish
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: about it. But you know, you're scared when you're in
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: the middle of that. As you can imagine, it's very scary,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: very scary to not have worked for you know, seven years,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: although I did work part time and not know, you know,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: how the future will pan out, and.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: And other than gop ones, it's a great weight loss.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff, very very skinny, couldn't eat. Yeah, I remember
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: feeling so badly about that, but you were actually happy
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: about that part. But we just like we never thought.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I remember once, like the kids were in the car
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and they called me to complain about him. I don't
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: know where you guys were going, but Rachel called and
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: she was like, Daddy's doing this or whatever, and I'm like, honey,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: you got there. You do have the wrong number. You
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: think that you're going to complain about Jeff Bessler to
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: me the world's greatest father. So you know, there was
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: never really this horrible animosity, even with the cheating and
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: whatever else.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Has gone down, there was something underlying there was we.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Were sad, Yes, we were just both so sad, and
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: so we would whatever talk on the phone, and I
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: would tell my boyfriend at the time, like I'm going
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: to mediation, and I would meet Jeff at Chili's and like,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I'm cheating on my boyfriend with my husband
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: on the border. You're right, wasn't there one time, Childias
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: when we met we saw Leon. No, it wasn't let's
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: not fight when we saw Leon at the time anyway,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: doesn't Friday Okay, Yes, it was TGI Fridays anyway, So
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: you know, and the guy I was seeing was very
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: invested in the relationship and we were serious, and you know,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: he was very good to me, and Jeff and his
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: girlfriend were maybe not that serious. I don't know, but
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: it just wasn't right. Like I just didn't want to
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: ever pull the plug, and I knew that Jeff didn't,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: and my entire family, by the way, I will tell
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: you this. They all sided with Jeff, which was totally
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Jeff was never closer to my mother than during this time.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, yeah, absolutely.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: They all supported him. Everybody, everybody pretty much everywhere our friends.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Why is that? Why do you think that was?
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I'm me or you? That's very likable. Oh I'm not
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: at that point, Maybe you weren't.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, they all I think that they all also they
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I guess they knew how badly you wanted to get
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: back together. So I would say long story short, but
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: this is turning out to be long story long. We
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: are on a boat going to Martha's vineyard Nantucket. We
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: were meeting Jeanine. The kids were with her. Do you
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: remember this. Yeah, we're on the ferry and I don't
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: know why we were together, because we weren't at that
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: point back together. But you said something to me. You're like,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't understand what like what we're
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: doing now is such something like is so such a shame?
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Shanda is a is a Jewish word for it. But
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: because our we can be so good and we can
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: have the best life. Yeah, and that just I don't know,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: it resonated with me and so soon after that, I
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: just got to the point where I was like, I
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: just want I just want my life back.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Well, it happened when we were the Jamaica.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Wow. I went on vacation with my boyfriend to Saint Bart's,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: the most glorious, you know, island in the world, and
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Jeff's with the kids to Jamaica, like beaches Jamaica, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to be in Jamaica. Yeah, my husband
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: and my kids. I feel bad about it, because again,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend was a very nice guy, but it you know,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: he's right now, so that's okay. Anyway, So we got
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: back together.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: We did. We did summer two thousand and ten.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: We were separated for how long, like you heard of
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: a year and a half? Yeah, yeah, so you know,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: things definitely have changed in our marriage. We got back
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: together and we immediately moved out of our house to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: another house in the same town that we live in.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: We just wanted to kind of move on. The kids,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I will say, we told them all their way at
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Sleepway Camp at visiting day and they were so happy.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: One thing I never predicted because I come from a
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: family of lots and lots of divorce. So my parents
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: have been divorced, not just from each other, but more
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: than once. And so I don't know why I thought
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: they got divorced when I was three, and I didn't
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: predict how I would feel in terms of the kids
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: and their sadness, because for me, I guess I thought
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I had just died. I don't maybe I just didn't remember.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: But I don't remember ever being sad about it. It
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: was just my way of life, you know. And the
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: kids were so sad, and that was certainly that was
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: the hardest part watching them miss their dad, and it
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: broke my heart. And I'm sure anybody who's been divorced,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you know, feels that, of course. But I remember telling
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: them that we're getting back together on visiting day and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: promising them that it would never happen again. Right, I
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: remember that, and then we left when they got home, right.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that was the best time.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: We do a best house.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: They got home, Yes, they got home to a new house.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that was the healthiest way to
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: handle it, but we did the best we could buy
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: a new house. No, just like, okay, we're getting back together, Okay,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: go back to soccer and theater and we'll see you
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: in three weeks. Wow, it did work out, thankfully, it
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: did work out. So anyway, that was our journey. So
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: but let's talk about it what it's like now. So
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: what would you say has been the biggest change. I mean,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: we've been back together for quite some time, we've married
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: twenty five years. But what do you think is different
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: than those initial seven.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: We definitely communicate better. And I said that the other day,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: but you laughed at me because, oh, come on.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's it. I don't know what
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: we can do. I mean, I don't even know if
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: that means I don't remember the first seven years? Do
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: we not communicate? I mean I guess we were just
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: so busy doing our own thing.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Yes it was working, I mean yes, I mean having
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: the kids in the house and young at that age,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: but we.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Still had the kids in the house.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Not now. I don't know.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: I so you think it was communicating. I feel like
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: it was just gratitude. The thing is, it was like
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: getting my best friend.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Back, and it's yeah, it's like it's like I still
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: think about it.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: You do, sure you'd never ever say that to me.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: It tooks podcast for you to say that's me think.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: About it and you're like, you're relieved that you haven't
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: then go through with that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Well the time, that's a nice thing to say. I
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: do think about it too, and I think that the
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: people that love us think about it because they're always
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: you know, my aunt is always like, you made the
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: best choice.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Ever through hell when you came out the others.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know a lot of married couples we always
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: hear saying that you know, you have to date your
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: spouse and there has to you have to put aside.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I guess some time, I don't know, once a week
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: to go out on a date. And people always ask me,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: like how we got back together and why is it different?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And I mean I don't think that we do that
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: what date, date night? No, I don't things that were there. No,
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I mean we have like well.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Now Fridays and Saturdays maybe now we'll go out, but
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: during the week no, but.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: It's not even but it's not like a plan data
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: and plus we're empty nesters, yes, so that's different. But
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: we never did that. We never had like an official
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: date night. And the truth is we if we felt
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: like going out, the night's forced kind of you think
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: people swear by it. I don't know.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I mean we do it.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: No, I know what date night? Yeah me, yeah, well
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: it was forced. Yeah, we're all connecting. I don't actually,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I never and the other pieces that
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: like we would get we get to Saturday night and
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: half the time, and Jeff is like always excited to
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: go out and be social because he doesn't get to
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: during the week and he's just work, work, work, and
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I'm just all I want to do on Saturday night
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: is sit on the couch, which is always what I
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: want to do every day, sit on the couch and
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: watch a movie and lay in the bed. So that's okay.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So I'm not, by the way, I'm not advocating for
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: any of this. We're just telling you what works for us.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: So I don't know if you're thinking of a separation
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: or you're in the middle of one. So, you know,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: half the time we make plans and then I feel guilty
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: because I just don't want to go out right, Yes.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we we'll make plans and then at like you know,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: four or five o'clock, like, yeah, I don't feel like going.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I know, and I do feel badly about that. There's
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: that song though by is it Luke Hombs, Yes, Luke Combs.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: What is it called?
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Beautiful? Beautiful crazy?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, beautiful crazy. I think that it describes me perfectly,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: not the beautiful part.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: The Dutch, the coffee and the whole time.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, coffee every morning, wine at night. Anyway, I digress.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: So I don't know that we do date night. But
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: the thing is and also and so Jeff works from home,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: maybe Fridays, maybe he's occasionally more than that. So during
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: the week he's up and like a robot every day
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: since the day I met him, five thirty. Boom up,
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: take the shower, do the push ups, get dressed, go
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: to work, comes home late, usually around what eight o'clock,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: comes up stairs, says Hi, goes back downstairs, back to
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: the office. So I'm always in bed. That's something else
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: but watching TV and eating or whatever it is I'm doing.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: So it's not like we're on top of each other
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: all week. Talk a couple times during the day on
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: the phone. I don't know that that's good or bad.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: It's just us. It works, It just does, right. Yes,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know why it works, but we don't. We're
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: not on top of each other all week and even
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: when you're home working, like we've we come out, we
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: see each other, back to the office, back to the bedroom.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Maybe that separation works if we work together like all day.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: If we were together, no, I kill you, right, that
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: wouldn't work. Yeah, that would definitely. No, it wouldn't work.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: We have fun during COVID, I think for stough that's
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: very true. Yes, yeah, I don't know. I mean that's
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: and then on the weekends we go out, we don't.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I never feel like. One thing that I love about
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: you is that I never feel pressed to do anything,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Like You're so easy. Growing up, I all I wanted
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: to do was like lay in the bed and read books.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: And I remember my mom would get so frustrated with me,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: and I always had this feeling that I was so lazy.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: But you just don't seem to care. You never shave me.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I eat in the bed, you don't care.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I crumbs get on my side of the bed. I
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: do care, you know.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: That's I don't know. We don't pressure each other. I
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: feel like we don't. It's very just kind of like accepting.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: And then when something happens during the day, so either
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: I'm rushing downstairs to the office, to tell you about it,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: or you're rushing upstairs to tell me about it. It could
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: be anything. It could be something about the kids. It
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: could be something about work. It could be something about
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the housewives. Now Jeff is like a reality show aficionado,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: which is just weird. Okay, you one hundred percent stop it,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: just stop. Really anyway, a couple Okay, he like he's
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: into the Bachelor, he watches anymore. Anyway, We're not on
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: top of each other, but we're always kind of connecting,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: checking in and we laugh a lot. Like we make
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: fun of each other a lot. Jeff and I we
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: have this shtick where and people are always I don't know,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I think it's nice. People are like taken aback by it.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about? No, yes, you do.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: We give each other all the time. Let me give
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: each like what make fun of each other. Okay, simmer
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: down like that, like I don't know, like people that
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: he walks in the room, I'm like, oh, hello, Jeffrey,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and then he'll he just makes fun of me constantly.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: He'll come up to the bedroom and he'll like tuck
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: me in, like like press it around there, just to
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: make fun. We make fun of each other a lot.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: You know that we do.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Why you lie, that's what you're talking about.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, well as opposed to what I don't know. I
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: don't say you're short and you do.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my daughter is dating someone who is on he's
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: not short, like you're short on the shorter side. So
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I'm constantly like a pant of Jeff being like, why
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: would you date a short guy? Like what, why aren't
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: you looking for someone tall and dashing? And I mean
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: except no, apparently not. Well he's very cute, yeah, her boyfriend,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: but anyway, and he's not I don't God forbid, there listening.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: He's not short. He's taller than Jack, but he's not tall.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: My one requirement when I was dating back in the day,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: uh maybe it was fixing me up on a blind date.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I would be like, he doesn't have to be extraordinarily well, well,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: it doesn't to be wealthy, es to be ambitious. He
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be the life of the party. He
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: just has to be tall. Well, here you go, miss
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: down all those my thought. You're very ambitious. Yes I am, okay, yes,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. Do you think that the separation
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: saved our marriage? Like would you do it again?
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Could I go through that again? Knowing what I know now?
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: No? But yeah it was hell? But do you think
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: we would be like like you said, you still think
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: about it. I still think about it. There's so much
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: gratitude for it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Not I wouldn't say it's gratitude. I would say it's
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: it's it's it helped, it helped the relationship. I mean,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: would it Maybe maybe this would have happened later Maybe
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: this would have happened later on and we wouldn't have
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: been able to go through with it. I don't know
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: what you're talking about. I don't know. I don't know that.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I am not. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, and
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to experience it again.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Said, would go through it again?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: No?
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: No, I would.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I'm saying if it was a choice between going through
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: it or not going through it, because I think our
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: marriage wouldn't have changed, Like, we wouldn't have had this
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: attitude necessarily.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: That's correct, right, So.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: We're grateful to have gone through it. Okay, anyway, moving Yes.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's I don't know about that.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: I know you don't Sometimes I say to him, I
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: don't know how you get through your days. He can't
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: connect the dots. I can't except in work. I don't know.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I don't again. I wouldn't want to go through it again.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: But I think that it did change everything. And you, guys,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know whoever's listening. They say that you get
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: divorced and not for everybody, but when nothing else matters,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: like you just can't. You don't care about the money.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: You know, you think to yourself, I don't want to
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: set this example for my kids.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Or you go into the marriage and you know it's
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: not going to work. Plenty of people have that happen. Say, well,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: you go into a marriage and you know it's not
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: going to work.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Who goes into a marriage and knows it's not going
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: to Learney like who? I know?
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Other people like who saying but I know it.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Happened well at our back at our So Jeff was
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I was thirty one when we got married. Yeah, Jeff
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: was thirty six, right, and so we were both dying
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: to get married. I was like my biological clock was ticking,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: like I wanted to get knocked up before we walk
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: down the aisle, just so I could trap him. I
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: didn't want to backen out right, right? We did. Four
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: months later we were pregnant, right right. But listen, I'm
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: not advocating for separation or divorce, but I think it's
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: not just for us, for the kids. I'm so grateful
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: that we found our way back. There's something to be
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: said for having being together for all of these years,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: especially I guess when it comes to the kids, right.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: We had the Well, there's other right, there's other celebrity
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: couples who done the same thing that we got separated,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: got separated and came back.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: We're not just FYI, We're not really a celebrity couple,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: as much as you like to tell yourself that.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Other celebrity there's there's other examples of this out there.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So, for instance, Ben Stiller and his wife, I love them,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: right right, they separated and got back together. I mean,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know the details of it. Who else as it?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: J Lo and Ben?
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, but that's not a great example. Thank you, Heather.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but we're not aspiring to that.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: And I don't know.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's not easy. I got tons of phone
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: calls from women in my town after we got back together,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: and women that I did not know and saying Hi,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: my name is Jane Doe. Your daughter was in preschool
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: with my daughter. I'm really sorry to bother you, but
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: do you think we can talk? I'm considering the divorce
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: or separation and.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: You should write a book.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe I'll do a podcast. Why do you write
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: a book? You write a book, You write a book. So,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I I think that divorce is brutal, and I think
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: if you think that there's a shot, there is really
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: something to be said or staying together and it's not perfect.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: So let me just say that. People ask all the time,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: you know, what is it like? Now? Are you hanging
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: from the chandeliers?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: You know? We didn't start, we didn't get back together,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: and all of a sudden we're having sex three times
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: a day and jetting off to exotic locay. Oh, we
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: travel a lot together. Yes, that's one of our things.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: We did jet off of Vietnam.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: We did recently jet off to Vietnam for our twenty
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: fifth anniversary. I would highly recommend Vietnam any much anyway,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: But I mean it didn't change like that.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: But I think if you can make it work and
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: think that there is still a chance, I would recommend it.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I mean yeah, but I mean there's people who should
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: be divorced, of course, and they know it. Yes, of
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: course you know this wouldn't work for them, But if
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: there's still a chance, there's still a possibility you should.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I have friends, I have friends who got divorced, and
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: I look at it and I think you were going
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: through very similar things that we were. And I do
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: think to myself that they probably regret it.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they probably do, right, We admit.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: It, and don't think that we're telling anyone what to do.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: We're not experts on anything, but well Jeff is an
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: expert some things, so my more things than you. I
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: don't know that anyway, But we're not experts on this.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: So again, I would just say, it's been.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: My life.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine my life if we had gotten divorced.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: And I am so proud of us. I agree, yeah too,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: that's nice and we have our stuff. That's like, it's
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: not like our relationship change so dramatically. I think we
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: got just grateful, like we were always best friends.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: What it is, it's grateful for each other's.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud that you're
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: my husband. I'm proud that we are have been together
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: this long. I respect you so much, like I don't.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I feel very lucky to have you for so many reasons.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And stop picking your nails. And that's not one of
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: the reasons, but I definitely think about that all the time.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: And I'm proud of how smart you are. I'm proud
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: of how hard you work. I'm the most proud of
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: the kind of father you are. Okay, now it's your turn,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: jump in.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: We're not proud you've got this wonderful job with real houseworks.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: You are you are and it's great podcast. And no,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I'm actually proud of your achievement, what you've done well.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Also, Like we're so used to each other, so when
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: we travel, for instance, we have the same rhythm, like, yeah.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: We probably couldn't travel with other people.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Our friends travel and they travel in groups sometimes and
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: we've said no, okay he said no, more than I have.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we travel. We have the same rhythm. Like
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: we know we both of us. We get up in
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: the morning. There's only a certain amount of sight seeing
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: that we do. We're very centered around our meals. It's
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: all about breakfast, lunch and dinner. Where are we eating them?
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: What's where? When?
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, I mean we sight see, but I don't like
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: to make me crazy.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: And everything out, everything out, and we hit those.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Spots and he has to push me sometimes like I'm like, okay,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I cannot do one more museum right or whatever, one
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: more landmark right?
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: And if you don't want to go, and then I'll
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: go by myself. Yes, and that's fine.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: It's not always fine.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: And then I'll come back and I'll tell you about
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: anybody like, oh, we're in Paris.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Then you wanted to go to what do you call it?
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: What Paris?
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: You wanted to go to? We were in Paris?
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Oh Normandy, Normandy?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Sorry, and I was reading it. We're suposed get up
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: at five o'clock in the morning and go to Normandy.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: It was the last thing I felt like doing. I'm
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: not really it was.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We literally flew in, got there early in the
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: morning to Paris, fell asleep for the entire day, and
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: then that night couldn't sleep. Nope, and at five am
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: we really I forget it.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Yep, Well you were like forget it because I have
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: to say you were going to go I was going
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: to go. I would have complained the entire time, but
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I was going to There's one time that we were
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: in Charleston, and we loved Charleston. We ended up buying
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: a house there that we unfortunately recently just sold. But anyway,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: we're in Charleston and Jeff wanted to do a historical
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: tour of the city. And it was hot out and
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: we got a tour guide and for whatever reason, I
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: was getting mosquito bites and he was so into it,
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: and they were walking. Him and our tour guide were
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: walking ahead of me, and every time he turned around,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I like shot in the bird.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Every time.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Every time.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I was so furious. I was very angry, I know,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: but it was very interesting for Jeff. So I don't care.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I know she didn't, yes, but like that's part of it.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: He does laugh at me, we do. I mean we
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: laugh at each other.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, we laugh at each other, especially when I trip
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: and you know.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: When he falls, I die.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: There's nothing better than when he trips and falls. It
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't happen that often, but when it does, I love it.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Soon I'll be like, you know, in like what
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: eighteen years, I'll be eighty. I'm a trip and fall
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: break my head and she'll be there laughing. It's good.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: No, no, I won't Beau. Then I'll have to take
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: care of you. Also, this is interesting. I think like
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Jeff's parents were together until they both are very very
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: unfortunately and sadly passed. But I don't think a man
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: ever loved a woman as much as Max Spessler loved
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Philis Spessler. I mean, he was the best example of
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: a father and a husband. And there are certain things
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: that he always did that I with phyllis that I
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: my mother in law that I admired, like he always
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: always kissed her on the lips hello and goodbye, and
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: every morning with the my bad breath and the whole thing.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: I kiss you goodbye every morning every morning. That's silly,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: but like for some reason it's like a thing. He
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: always brings me coffee when he's home, when I'm home
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: and when we're wake this morning at the hotel, Like
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: it's just he goes and gets the coffee every time
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: and every morning that he's home, and we sit in bed,
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: especially on the weekends Sunday, we watch Saturday Night Live
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: and we watch the news Saturdays and Sundays, even Fridays,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: you bring.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Me up the path because we can't watch it on
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Saturday night because I'm sleeping. Well at five o'clock and
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: we're having plans, you cancel them. And then we went
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: up to bed and went to sleep and we missed everything.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I sleep a lot, Yes, I can't help it.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: You do sleep a lot.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: I do, and he sleeps not at all. Yeah, what
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: do you think that you're gonna I'm gonna ask you
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: this question and you're just gonna give me an annoying answer.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: But what do you think the what? What are the
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: keys to having a long lasting marriage. You're gonna say communication,
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Throw up a little. I don't know. I mean, do
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: we fight.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: If we fight, we we don't make sure we're wake
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: up before we go to bed.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: No, No, I don't care holding grudge all the time
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: all the time, yes, which I don't like.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know that I'm going to be able
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: to change that at fifty six years old. Now you
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: get upset, we go to sleep angry.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but then I go to sleep and then you
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: wake up and you're like it did like nothing around, And.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I do apologizeologize.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: It's not true.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: You give me that face. Sometimes he does this thing
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: and the kids make fun of to her.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: He's like believed that morning depends, and you're like, and
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I'll remind you, oh yeah.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And sometimes well that's also when I'm drinking at night,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I've had too much wine and we get into a
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: fight and then I'm like, yeah, I was a bitch
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: last night, or alternatively, I am mad that's not true
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: in the morning if I But I do try to
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: take accountability, so do you.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: That's a key, except that it's never him saying Brick
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: and Jeffrey and everyone thinks he's a saint.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: I am.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: I have to say that's annoying. You are not a saint.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: We have very different views when it comes to money.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I believe in spending it. He believes in not spending it.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: And that's definitely been a challenge in our marriage, challenge.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: It continues to be a challenge. The good news is,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I mean I always I worked. I worked as a recruiter.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: Then I started a business, and I certainly didn't make
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: money off of f major but well now I sort
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: of am no, Okay, Well, anyway, I have the bus
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: sales doesn't Jeffrey, it's not a cut cover, okay, shot
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: f major dot com. That's there were just a lot
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: of costs. But you were very supportive. But yeah, it
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: always worked though. But yes, now I'm making some money
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and so I feel no obligation to save a dime.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Right, all the glam, the dresses and all that.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, what do you want from me? You
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: want me to do this.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I have to do it right, that's your excuse that
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: that's why you're doing it, because you get dresses every time,
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you, an outfit, thank you, thank you. It's like
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: there's there's rooms with clot with.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: There is we have a couple of rooms. I have
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: of those things. Yeah, it's crazy, but I'm also I
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: can also spend on very stupid things. But jeff is
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: such a saver, so he balanced to their out. It
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: was up to me, I would have bankrupted us by now.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: So we recently discussed on this potter. It's been not weak.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: It's been recently discussed on this pot that there is
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: this topic of being sleep divorced, right, where like couples
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: who sleep in separate bedrooms have get along better, have
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: stronger marriages.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: What do you think of that, maybe because it's separation.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Maybe because that's why I go to work. That's why
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: I'm at work all day.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: You're not why you go to work.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: No, it's not why I go to work, but because
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: But I'm talking about would you be interested in sleeping?
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Would you be interested in sleeping in separate bedrooms?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Me? Neither.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know. People love that, I mean, but we also,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know. You stay on your side. I stay
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: on my side. I do sometimes in the middle of
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: the night, get worked up thinking that he might be dead,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: and so I kick him sometimes hard.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's something to wake up. That's that's make sure
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: he's breathing. Or like it's hard enough to go to
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: sleep than in the middle night to get sleep wake up.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, now I tried.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I tried to do it too hard, But yeah, I
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: get nervous or I tend to like be wake up
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: because I've just riddled with anxiety. So I could feasibly
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: wake up screaming at some point some nightmare that happens. Yes,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: that happens, but I still wouldn't want to sleep in
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: a different room. Also, when he when you travel, I
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: hate when you travel and I have to sleep alone
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: at night. I don't know why, because you are a
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: very you're a strong man. But if somebody breaks in,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I don't see you being able to fight. I don't
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: want to insult you, but we have to castle, yes,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: but like I can't. So I get so nervous when
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: you travel. I hate it. Okay, I don't like sleeping alone.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: That's why. That's why there's an alarm whatever.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: But so I don't know. You guys, this is you know,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: this is our story. I I always get people that
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: are just love to hear it because maybe it's encouraging
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: and I think it's it's interesting. It doesn't happen every day. No,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I mean I do part two. This whole podcast is
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: about the second time around, and this is our sort
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: of our second time around.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: The second time around.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: It is a second break. There was a break, well
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: that's the second time around. Okay, I mean you know, but.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: You did it differently the second time around.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: We did maybe, Yeah, I think it's all it was
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: just gratitude.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's gratitude for what you have and a realization
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: of what you have. Yes.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, we also again the best friend thing. I
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: think that's personally more than anything else, is that I
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: like you. I don't I love you, but I really
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: like you, and I don't like anybody else the way
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I like you like. I am not my friend. I
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: have really close friends, so I can be my complete
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: self with but not in the same way we are.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: We just I just enjoy you. Not always. Sometimes I
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: can't stand you, but for the most part. I mean
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: that's the heart that I think is the strongest.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I think that is the strongest.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, you guys, that's us. That's all the time
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: we have. But this is us. We love each other
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: and we love you.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Guys.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: This is a big date night, first date night we've
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: had in well, you've.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Been to a workshows. I've never been to one.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd never taken you before. No, you owe me big, right, Okay,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: here's the date night.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: So, are you thinking about getting back together with your
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: ex or reconciling after a separation and need some advice?
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: the information will be in the show notes. Make sure
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: to rate and review the podcast please, I do Part
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: two an iHeart podcast where falling in love is the
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: main objective.