Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Stop Resisting Your Own Intuition + Live a "Yes, And" Life with Ego Nwodim

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Stop Resisting Your Own Intuition + Live a "Yes, And" Life with Ego Nwodim · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
0:08
Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
0:12
Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on
0:15
Speaker 1: pretty This is pretty smart. I'm so excited about today
0:22
Speaker 1: because this episode, well, I recorded it at a time
0:27
Speaker 1: when I needed to hear her words. So I'm just
0:31
Speaker 1: going to jump right in yes and two words that
0:35
Speaker 1: constitute a big idea and a foundational rule of improv comedy.
0:41
Speaker 1: If you're not familiar with improv, the principle consists of
0:44
Speaker 1: two pretty simple parts. Part one, the yes means I
0:48
Speaker 1: hear you. I validate the idea you're bringing to the
0:52
Speaker 1: table as a performer, which ideally helps keep the creativity flowing.
0:57
Speaker 1: Part two is the end, and this part of equation
1:01
Speaker 1: is about how a performer is adding new information or
1:05
Speaker 1: advancing the scene forward. Basically, it's all about keeping the
1:09
Speaker 1: momentum and adding value, which is not only a great
1:13
Speaker 1: way to think about comedy, but also how our guests
1:16
Speaker 1: today Saturday Night Live star Ego Wodem tries to think
1:20
Speaker 1: about life.
1:23
Speaker 2: Your ability to yes and and your ability to go
1:26
Speaker 2: all right. I'm listening to what was said to me
1:29
Speaker 2: and I'm going to build on this reality is so
1:33
Speaker 2: powerful and so special. To tap into that and home
1:37
Speaker 2: that skill is to like really embrace your own power.
1:40
Speaker 1: I feel I Go is arguably on one of comedy's
1:44
Speaker 1: most iconic stages every week as a cast member of SNL.
1:48
Speaker 1: But before the job that changed her life, Ego was
1:52
Speaker 1: a struggling actress in LA who heard the word know
1:56
Speaker 1: a lot.
1:57
Speaker 2: There is nothing linear about what it is I'm pursuing.
1:59
Speaker 2: Their's no map, there is no take this class, and
2:02
Speaker 2: then after you graduate this thing, you go to this
2:04
Speaker 2: and none. You start applying for jobs and you'll surely
2:06
Speaker 2: have a job in eight weeks. And that was really
2:09
Speaker 2: scary for me.
2:10
Speaker 1: Today we're learning how Ego forged her own path in
2:13
Speaker 1: comedy and in life by embracing the unknown.
2:17
Speaker 2: Godam Sandler told me, like, you know, focus on dating
2:20
Speaker 2: in the summers, and while you're here you can just
2:22
Speaker 2: really focus on work. And there's something to that.
2:24
Speaker 1: In the very wild, humbling world of Saturday Night Live.
2:29
Speaker 2: I love how new every week is. It's upsetting how
2:33
Speaker 2: new every week is because I want to build momentum,
2:36
Speaker 2: and they'll say there's no such thing as momentum. Here
2:38
Speaker 2: every week, like it doesn't matter what you did on Saturday,
2:41
Speaker 2: Like you could have had the most viral sketch or
2:43
Speaker 2: the best sketch, and it's like great, it's Monday today.
2:46
Speaker 1: Igo gives us a masterclass. And what can happen when
2:49
Speaker 1: you say yes? And I want to start with your name?
2:54
Speaker 1: I Go is such a unique name. Does it have
2:57
Speaker 1: Nigerian roots?
2:59
Speaker 2: Absolutely? My full first name is Ago Bunma Wodem. Well,
3:03
Speaker 2: full first name is Sego Buma. Last name is Wodem,
3:05
Speaker 2: but my full first name is Aego Buma. It is Ebo.
3:09
Speaker 2: My family is from a from River State in Nigeria,
3:12
Speaker 2: but from a village called a Cha, which has some
3:15
Speaker 2: overlap with the Ebo language. And Ago quite literally means money.
3:20
Speaker 2: The literal translation, if I'm not mistaken, is money makes
3:24
Speaker 2: you look good, which you know. I have my own
3:28
Speaker 2: thoughts about my name, but I do you know. I
3:30
Speaker 2: grew up with the name Ago in the nineties when
3:34
Speaker 2: the Ago waffle marketing campaign was going to like the
3:37
Speaker 2: lego my Ago, So I grew up with a lot
3:40
Speaker 2: a lot of that.
3:41
Speaker 1: I think you are the first person on this podcast
3:44
Speaker 1: that is from Baltimore, Oh.
3:48
Speaker 2: By the way, Thank you, my pride and joy. I'm
3:50
Speaker 2: so proud to be from Baltimore.
3:51
Speaker 1: You know, I was really interested to learn that everybody
3:54
Speaker 1: in your family is in the medical or science field.
3:58
Speaker 1: And I was kind of laughing because I'm Jewish and
4:01
Speaker 1: the only people who have parents that are crazier than
4:04
Speaker 1: mine are my Nigerian friends. Like, there's just like an
4:08
Speaker 1: intensity that both of our cultures have that makes me
4:12
Speaker 1: really laugh. And so you've studied biology and your dream,
4:16
Speaker 1: of course, was to be an actress, and so you
4:18
Speaker 1: made this deal with your mom. Yes, will you tell
4:21
Speaker 1: me what that deal was?
4:22
Speaker 2: Okay, the deal was. Okay, it's not so much a
4:24
Speaker 2: long line as it is like everyone in my family
4:27
Speaker 2: who lives Stateside is pretty much in the medical field.
4:29
Speaker 2: As you said, So when I said I wanted to
4:31
Speaker 2: be an actor, I was sort of like, what is
4:33
Speaker 2: this girl talking about? And being first generation as well,
4:37
Speaker 2: I feel like it's an experience a lot of first
4:39
Speaker 2: gen people share where their families expect for them to
4:42
Speaker 2: like go into a relatively stable career. Often that's like medicine, engineering,
4:47
Speaker 2: or law, And in my case, it was like it's
4:49
Speaker 2: got to be medicine and maybe engineering if you must.
4:53
Speaker 2: But like, basically I knew I wanted to be an actor.
4:57
Speaker 2: I knew I didn't know how to make that happen
4:59
Speaker 2: in Baltim for myself. But what I did know with
5:02
Speaker 2: a little bit, I knew about entertainment industry that it
5:04
Speaker 2: was like largely based in Los Angeles, and so I thought,
5:08
Speaker 2: I have to just get to where the acting happens
5:10
Speaker 2: and from there I can like like get a lay
5:14
Speaker 2: of the land, understand what's going on, and then devise
5:16
Speaker 2: the plan. But it's kind of impossible, so removed from
5:19
Speaker 2: it to devise the plan. So I was like, I
5:21
Speaker 2: just need to get there. It's three thousand miles away,
5:23
Speaker 2: but I need to get there. And college was my ticket.
5:25
Speaker 2: So going across the country for college was also something
5:28
Speaker 2: that was quite foreign to my family. Like you know,
5:31
Speaker 2: we're pretty tight knit family. And so the deal I
5:34
Speaker 2: made with my mother was like, I will study biology,
5:37
Speaker 2: I will be pre med. I will do the thing
5:39
Speaker 2: that is safe and secure to you and start to
5:42
Speaker 2: embark on that path if you let me go across
5:44
Speaker 2: the country for college. So she did let me go
5:48
Speaker 2: across the country. I was pre med. I did study biology.
5:51
Speaker 2: I got a degree in biology. But the whole time
5:54
Speaker 2: I was part of this like master plan to just
5:56
Speaker 2: get over there, like the only way I knew I
5:58
Speaker 2: can move to LA. There was just there's no version
6:00
Speaker 2: of me telling my mom like I want to move
6:02
Speaker 2: to LA to pursue acting at eighteen, and like I'm
6:05
Speaker 2: not going to go to college. I just there was
6:07
Speaker 2: just no there's no way that I was going to fly.
6:10
Speaker 2: So that was my master plan, and it worked. It
6:14
Speaker 2: fucking worked.
6:16
Speaker 1: It worked so well. When did you end up taking
6:19
Speaker 1: your first improv class?
6:21
Speaker 2: Okay, so I took my first improv class I would
6:23
Speaker 2: say in twenty twelve, if I'm not mistaken, which is
6:26
Speaker 2: about two years after I graduated from college. And it
6:30
Speaker 2: was begrudgingly. I'd been advised by quite a few people
6:34
Speaker 2: to take an improv class, but I was so resistant
6:36
Speaker 2: because at that point in my career or my journey,
6:40
Speaker 2: I was starting to get the sense that people were
6:42
Speaker 2: telling aspiring actors things to do that were kind of
6:46
Speaker 2: like made up. At a certain point where it's like
6:49
Speaker 2: busy work, where it's like go get new headshots. Go
6:52
Speaker 2: you have to get new headshots. You have to take
6:53
Speaker 2: this workshop, you have to take this class. You have
6:56
Speaker 2: to do this thing. And at a certain point I
6:58
Speaker 2: started to get kind of skeptical, and my spidy senses
7:01
Speaker 2: are like, this is a lot of feels like busy
7:03
Speaker 2: work to make us feel like we're up to something,
7:05
Speaker 2: but we're probably spinning around in circles or like hamsters
7:08
Speaker 2: in a wheel. And so by the time improv came up,
7:11
Speaker 2: I wish it was one of the first things people
7:12
Speaker 2: told me, because I would have jumped in without a thought.
7:15
Speaker 2: But it was towards the end this period of like,
7:18
Speaker 2: go do this, go do that. Okay, these headshots don't
7:20
Speaker 2: look right, go to this person for headshots. Go, and
7:21
Speaker 2: it was like, this doesn't feel right. So I was
7:25
Speaker 2: enough people told me to take an improv class at
7:27
Speaker 2: the point that I was sort of like resistant to
7:30
Speaker 2: just doing anything people said, but enough people told me
7:33
Speaker 2: that I was like, Okay, I'm gonna take this class
7:36
Speaker 2: so that I don't ever have to hear anyone tell
7:38
Speaker 2: me to take an improv class again. And then what
7:39
Speaker 2: are you going to tell me to do? You know?
7:41
Speaker 2: And then what have I not done? So I signed
7:44
Speaker 2: up for an improv class at UCB, and I was
7:48
Speaker 2: certain I was going to take one level be like, great,
7:50
Speaker 2: check it off. I don't want to hear about improv
7:52
Speaker 2: ever again. And I fell in love with improv immediately
7:56
Speaker 2: was like, this is my jam. I love this. It's
8:01
Speaker 2: so enjoyable, It's so much fun to me. I feel
8:04
Speaker 2: like I've found a home of sorts. Like creatively, it
8:08
Speaker 2: felt very me. I felt so aligned with me, and
8:11
Speaker 2: I feel really fortunate to when I think about life
8:13
Speaker 2: and the grand scheme, to have had the experience that
8:16
Speaker 2: I can like the experience of having something feel so
8:19
Speaker 2: aligned and right. I feel like that's such an elusive feeling.
8:24
Speaker 2: And I also think it's not something that is necessarily
8:27
Speaker 2: easy to come by and not easy for everyone. Everyone
8:29
Speaker 2: doesn't have that sort of like the luxury of being
8:31
Speaker 2: able to explore and find what that is or what
8:33
Speaker 2: those things are, those relationships are. So it's one of
8:36
Speaker 2: those feelings I remember just be like, everything about this
8:38
Speaker 2: feels so right and it makes me feel so alive.
8:41
Speaker 2: And the irony is that I really didn't want to
8:43
Speaker 2: take this class.
8:44
Speaker 1: So sometimes that happens. The things that we have the
8:47
Speaker 1: most resistance to actually like, sometimes there's a reason I
8:51
Speaker 1: don't know what that is. I took an improv class.
8:53
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I was horrible. But there's this
8:56
Speaker 1: phrase that's yes and right, like you never say no
8:59
Speaker 1: on a stage with somebody that you feel like you
9:02
Speaker 1: live that way.
9:04
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness when I'm in practice. So when I
9:07
Speaker 2: got asked to do the commencement speech at USC, it
9:10
Speaker 2: was for twenty twenty. But then, as we know what
9:12
Speaker 2: happened to twenty twenty. But what I was like, I
9:15
Speaker 2: don't even know what I'm gonna say these college graduates.
9:18
Speaker 2: The thing that came to me was the yessay end
9:20
Speaker 2: And as like corny as it might be to some,
9:22
Speaker 2: it is such Yes, it is like the basis of improv.
9:26
Speaker 2: It's what improv is based on. I try to live
9:28
Speaker 2: my life that way. Yeah, it's not always easy. And
9:32
Speaker 2: when I'm in practice of doing improv, which i haven't
9:35
Speaker 2: been in years, I really feel like that was like
9:39
Speaker 2: one of the best periods of my life because I
9:41
Speaker 2: felt not only like was I being creatively fulfilled, but
9:43
Speaker 2: then I had this other like the icing on the cake,
9:47
Speaker 2: being like I'm becoming a better person. I am listening more,
9:51
Speaker 2: i am more adaptable, I can roll with the punches
9:55
Speaker 2: in a way that perhaps is a lot harder to me.
9:57
Speaker 2: I can be I'm hesitant to label myself, but I
10:01
Speaker 2: can be type A at times, and so I try.
10:05
Speaker 2: It's such a beautiful way to live, like it's what
10:07
Speaker 2: I you know, it's what I aspire to be like.
10:10
Speaker 2: And when I am in the practice of improv and
10:12
Speaker 2: doing it creatively and just in terms of like performing
10:15
Speaker 2: and with friends and for audiences, and I'm doing it
10:18
Speaker 2: regularly as I was at that time before I got
10:20
Speaker 2: on SNL, I feel like I was just such a
10:22
Speaker 2: better person, just like way more easy going, just like
10:25
Speaker 2: it's all good everything, it's all good, and listen. I
10:29
Speaker 2: took my dips emotionally too, but it was like that
10:33
Speaker 2: yes ed and driving me and making me go like, yes,
10:36
Speaker 2: this has happened, this is reality, this is fact, this
10:38
Speaker 2: is the circumstance. But what am I going to do
10:40
Speaker 2: to add to it? And that's like the beauty of improv.
10:42
Speaker 2: You're doing a scene with somebody and you're like, I
10:44
Speaker 2: could go on and on about this, but forever, by
10:46
Speaker 2: the way, and I know improms nerdy, but I love it.
10:50
Speaker 2: It's awesome, and you like have an idea of how
10:53
Speaker 2: you wanted the scene to go. But the thing is
10:55
Speaker 2: there's this other person, a variable involved, which is life
10:59
Speaker 2: and going to add to it as well. I'm doing
11:01
Speaker 2: their thing, and hopefully you guys are building towards something together.
11:04
Speaker 2: And that's like the dream situation, and those make for
11:07
Speaker 2: the best improv scenes. But your ability to yes and
11:10
Speaker 2: and your ability to go all right, I'm listening to
11:13
Speaker 2: what was said to me and I'm going to build
11:16
Speaker 2: on this reality is so powerful and so special. To
11:21
Speaker 2: tap into that and home that skill is to like
11:24
Speaker 2: really embrace your own power, I feel, and so it
11:28
Speaker 2: is a way to live. I want to live more
11:30
Speaker 2: and more like that. At times I'm like definitely doing
11:34
Speaker 2: the yes but instead of yes, and but I'm like yes,
11:38
Speaker 2: but here's all the reasons I don't like that or this,
11:41
Speaker 2: and that's fair in its own right. But I think
11:45
Speaker 2: being able to say yes and to life is the key,
11:48
Speaker 2: and like enjoying the journey is the key.
11:50
Speaker 1: I really feel that from you. I feel like to
11:52
Speaker 1: be on SNL means that you're living yes. And because
11:57
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of grit from the outside, that's
12:00
Speaker 1: what it seems. You said you gave yourself four years
12:04
Speaker 1: and when I moved to LA. I gave myself five
12:06
Speaker 1: years and I said, if I see a little traction,
12:09
Speaker 1: then I'll stay. So this really interested me. You're there
12:14
Speaker 1: for four years, you're taking improv, You're not really getting
12:18
Speaker 1: any traction. You're taking improv and you're taking these headshots
12:23
Speaker 1: and doing all these things that people are telling you.
12:26
Speaker 1: Did you get pressure from your parents to quit?
12:29
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would call it pressure from them.
12:36
Speaker 2: You know what, it felt like. I put a lot
12:38
Speaker 2: of pressure on myself in everything, and I think anyone
12:41
Speaker 2: who's ever worked with me would be like, yeah, that's
12:44
Speaker 2: a fact. I don't know that I'll ever change that.
12:47
Speaker 2: I don't know that I'll I don't know that I'll
12:49
Speaker 2: ever be able to change that, really, but.
12:51
Speaker 1: I'm not sure it's a bad thing.
12:53
Speaker 2: I know that's how I feel. I'm kind of like, oh, no,
12:56
Speaker 2: I can. It creates a tension that's maybe not the
12:59
Speaker 2: most always live with. At the same time, the results,
13:03
Speaker 2: which I enjoy results is like they're good. I don't
13:08
Speaker 2: know if I think pressure is bad. But I felt
13:10
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure, yes, exact thing. So I just
13:14
Speaker 2: I felt a lot. I felt a lot of pressure myself.
13:17
Speaker 2: I felt like, I've embarked on this absolutely unequivocally for
13:24
Speaker 2: unpredictable thing. There is nothing linear about what it is
13:27
Speaker 2: I'm pursuing. There is no map, there is no take
13:30
Speaker 2: this class, and then after you graduate this thing, you
13:32
Speaker 2: go to this and then you start applying for jobs
13:34
Speaker 2: and you'll surely have a job in eight weeks. And
13:36
Speaker 2: that was really scary for me. There were times when,
13:42
Speaker 2: you know, I remember calling my brother. I don't know
13:43
Speaker 2: if he'll even remember this. He wasn't in a good place,
13:46
Speaker 2: but my brother's only five years older than I am.
13:48
Speaker 2: I grew up here in the States too, And I
13:50
Speaker 2: remember when I tested for SNL the first time, and
13:52
Speaker 2: I called him and I called my family to tell
13:55
Speaker 2: them that. That was in twenty sixteen, So at that point,
13:58
Speaker 2: I'm six years out of college. And I called and
14:01
Speaker 2: I was like, they'll understand this because all the things
14:03
Speaker 2: I've been doing they have zero context for. Like I'm
14:06
Speaker 2: on commercial auditions. I'm not booking any of it, but
14:08
Speaker 2: I'm at commercial and I had a callback. They don't
14:10
Speaker 2: there's they don't even know what I'm talking about. But
14:13
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm testing for SNL, and you know,
14:15
Speaker 2: of course I go, that's their SNL is flying meat
14:17
Speaker 2: to New York because I like did such a good
14:20
Speaker 2: job that they want to see me on stage at
14:23
Speaker 2: their stage at thirty Rock, and they were like, great,
14:27
Speaker 2: amazing they could conceptualize us. And my family had heard
14:29
Speaker 2: of SNL. But then my brother called the next day.
14:32
Speaker 2: I was like, you need to get a full time job.
14:33
Speaker 2: And I was like, but I'm thinking, I just told you,
14:35
Speaker 2: like it's we're getting a little traction. We're getting I'm
14:37
Speaker 2: getting noticed. I'm getting I'm I'm I'm making some cuts
14:41
Speaker 2: here and like you know, I'm making It's not a
14:44
Speaker 2: team per se, but like, okay, there's some forward movement
14:46
Speaker 2: and I'm getting noticed by the big wigs. And he
14:50
Speaker 2: was like, you gotta get a full time job. And
14:51
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that did not translate to and
14:55
Speaker 2: I just I do remember. It was a lot of
14:56
Speaker 2: times talking to my brother, my older brother, were I'd
14:58
Speaker 2: be he's a spine surgeon, to be clear, but there's
15:02
Speaker 2: a lot of times talking to him where I'd be like,
15:05
Speaker 2: I you have no concept of what I'm describing to you,
15:09
Speaker 2: and I am trying to translate, and you're worried that
15:13
Speaker 2: I'm gonna like I'm just like hanging out in LA
15:16
Speaker 2: and like making it barely enough money to get by.
15:20
Speaker 2: I assure you I'm not hanging out mine. I actually
15:24
Speaker 2: in retrospect and even in real time, I remember recognizing this.
15:28
Speaker 2: In my twenties, I did not enjoy as much as
15:31
Speaker 2: I perhaps could have, Like I was living in Los Angeles,
15:33
Speaker 2: but I was like, the partying and vacations are for
15:37
Speaker 2: people who've made it, And so that was my like,
15:39
Speaker 2: you don't mean yeah. I was like, maybe you don't
15:42
Speaker 2: go on vacation. You work, you and you hustle, vacations
15:46
Speaker 2: for when you made it, you know. And so I
15:49
Speaker 2: ended up actually just today had lunch with this funny
15:53
Speaker 2: enough a girl I met. I have not seen her
15:55
Speaker 2: since twenty eighteen. I met on the beach in Hawaii.
15:59
Speaker 2: This we met on the beach in Hawaii, and I
16:02
Speaker 2: was so down and out and like, this shit is
16:05
Speaker 2: not working. I'm going on a vacation. I don't care,
16:09
Speaker 2: Like this can't be life like this. Maybe I got
16:12
Speaker 2: something wrong here. Maybe vacations are for me too, because
16:14
Speaker 2: I'm going crazy. I'm grinding like crazy, I'm not living,
16:18
Speaker 2: I'm not doing anything. Because I was like fearful of
16:21
Speaker 2: like you see so many people in La. In La,
16:24
Speaker 2: I love you. There's so many people there that I'm like,
16:27
Speaker 2: you're so busy. It's so easy to be busy in
16:30
Speaker 2: La and actually also not have a job. Yes, like
16:34
Speaker 2: the brunches and the hikes and the like at any
16:36
Speaker 2: time of day. And I'm not knocking it. I just
16:39
Speaker 2: remember being very scared of that, like it'd be really
16:41
Speaker 2: easy to have a full calendar here but also.
16:44
Speaker 1: Not so easy to fall into that. I've never heard
16:47
Speaker 1: anybody talk about that.
16:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, it's and I remember I had a
16:50
Speaker 2: friend back in the day she'd gotten laid off from
16:52
Speaker 2: her job, and yeah, I think like a month of
16:54
Speaker 2: her being laid off, we were driving somewhere and she
16:56
Speaker 2: was like, I'm actually busier now than I was when
16:58
Speaker 2: I was working full time. And I go, yeah, that's
17:00
Speaker 2: my nightmare where you think you're yeah, you note your
17:03
Speaker 2: busy calendar's pack, but you're not working. You're not doing anything.
17:07
Speaker 2: So I put a lot of pressure on myself and
17:10
Speaker 2: I would try to articulate that to my family. Some
17:12
Speaker 2: people I think it like it resonated with or like
17:15
Speaker 2: got through too. But some people I'm like, I get it,
17:17
Speaker 2: You're so fearful for me. But I'm like, as much
17:20
Speaker 2: as you want me to succeed, I want me to
17:23
Speaker 2: succeed even more. I promise you. At whatever it is
17:26
Speaker 2: I do, I have to win. So it was not
17:30
Speaker 2: so much from my family. I was raised by a
17:33
Speaker 2: single mom who was incredible I and she was really
17:37
Speaker 2: supportive actually, but I just felt their concern and their fear,
17:41
Speaker 2: and that just added more pressure to me, honestly, where
17:44
Speaker 2: I was like, I can feel you guys being concerned,
17:47
Speaker 2: but I'm like, I'm not out here partying. In fact,
17:49
Speaker 2: I'm doing the opposite and maybe should have had a
17:52
Speaker 2: little more fun was on the journey.
17:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, in hindsight, it's so easy to say that, but like,
17:58
Speaker 1: when you're in it, sometimes I feel the only way
18:01
Speaker 1: to make that client is really to do it.
18:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what That's really what it felt like. And
18:06
Speaker 2: when I went on that vacation it was twenty eighteen.
18:09
Speaker 2: I was like, this is my year. I love even
18:12
Speaker 2: numbers twenty eighteen. That's a good year. And I was like,
18:15
Speaker 2: this is going to be a really good year. I'm
18:17
Speaker 2: going to book a pilot. I'm putting it out there.
18:20
Speaker 2: I'm going to sell a show. I'm putting it out there.
18:22
Speaker 2: And the week before of my thirtieth birthday, it was like, ah,
18:26
Speaker 2: it's all happening. I'm testing for this pilot again. That's
18:29
Speaker 2: the last round audition. You've already signed a contract, and
18:31
Speaker 2: if they pick you, boom. It's time to get to
18:33
Speaker 2: work for people who don't know what that is. And
18:36
Speaker 2: then I was pitching a TV show and the pitch
18:38
Speaker 2: was going so well, and I'm like, this is crazy.
18:41
Speaker 2: My birthday is on Friday, and I think I'm going
18:45
Speaker 2: to find out I booked this job, and I'm going
18:47
Speaker 2: to find out I sold this show. And then my
18:50
Speaker 2: birthday is on Friday, and I'm having a party on Saturday. Amazing,
18:55
Speaker 2: And on Friday it was like, you didn't book the job,
18:58
Speaker 2: it went to someone else. And then also we just
19:02
Speaker 2: got word from the last place we went to pitch
19:04
Speaker 2: they're also going to pass on the show. Though they
19:06
Speaker 2: took a long time to decide they were going to pass,
19:08
Speaker 2: they just I'm not I was in a name talent
19:10
Speaker 2: at the time, so I would tell why. Frustrated as
19:14
Speaker 2: all hell in May broke. The plane ticket was one
19:17
Speaker 2: hundred and ninety seven dollars round trip. That trip was
19:21
Speaker 2: so important to me, and I've spoke about it a
19:23
Speaker 2: little bit because I needed to find balance in retrospectives
19:29
Speaker 2: like me treating myself like a human and not a workhorse.
19:32
Speaker 2: And you also, I really believe you set the standard
19:35
Speaker 2: and the tone for how people treat you and how
19:39
Speaker 2: life can treat you and your employer can treat you.
19:42
Speaker 2: And it starts with how you treat you. And I'm
19:44
Speaker 2: glad I learned that boundary.
19:47
Speaker 3: Then.
19:48
Speaker 2: I am really glad. I wish I had learned it sooner.
19:50
Speaker 2: But everything I believe happens when it's supposed to, when
19:54
Speaker 2: I'm at my best. I believe that.
19:55
Speaker 1: Did you feel like people understood your brand of comedy? SNL?
20:00
Speaker 1: Because I've talked to a few comedians, and particularly the women.
20:06
Speaker 1: I've heard them say, like, you know, I went up
20:08
Speaker 1: and I did a sketcher, I did this show, and
20:11
Speaker 1: it just like wasn't received the way I thought it
20:14
Speaker 1: was going to be. And it wasn't until later that people.
20:17
Speaker 2: Understood, Yeah, I don't you know what My journey with
20:21
Speaker 2: comedy I feel like when I came into improv is
20:28
Speaker 2: such a collaborative thing. And it was so fun to
20:30
Speaker 2: be in class and playing. But then once I made
20:32
Speaker 2: a main stage team at UCB, I was not having
20:35
Speaker 2: the same fun I thought I wouldn't. It's like, damn
20:38
Speaker 2: near impossible to make a main stage team. In fact,
20:40
Speaker 2: when you're in class, they tell you the odds of
20:42
Speaker 2: getting on a team here are like lower than that
20:45
Speaker 2: of getting into Harvard. So like, honestly, you should make
20:47
Speaker 2: your goals something else, Like there's other opportunities to perform
20:50
Speaker 2: here other than being on a main stage. And I
20:52
Speaker 2: was like, no, I want that. And so what I
20:56
Speaker 2: found was in it being such a collaborative thing. I
21:00
Speaker 2: found I was easy to like if I wasn't being assertive,
21:05
Speaker 2: like really assertive. I think I'm a confident performer. I
21:07
Speaker 2: think I'm confident. I can also differ from time to time.
21:11
Speaker 2: I think that my confidence often is a quiet confidence.
21:14
Speaker 2: That's what I would put how I'll put it. And
21:16
Speaker 2: I think that I was easy to ignore in an
21:19
Speaker 2: improv scene or bulldoze or once I made the main stage,
21:23
Speaker 2: because then I was performing with a bunch of people
21:25
Speaker 2: who believe they were God's gift to earth and comedy.
21:28
Speaker 2: So they're like what I have to say is more
21:30
Speaker 2: important than what you have to say, or like the
21:32
Speaker 2: story or the version of the scene I want to
21:34
Speaker 2: do is perhaps better than the one you want to do.
21:38
Speaker 2: And so I'm gonna I'm gonna impose my POV onto you. Yeah,
21:43
Speaker 2: And I found it that I was I found that
21:46
Speaker 2: I was just easy, yeah, easy to ignore. And I
21:49
Speaker 2: remember when I was like, I'm going to quit this
21:51
Speaker 2: main stage team that is so hard to get on,
21:53
Speaker 2: and I was so something I've wanted since I started this.
21:57
Speaker 2: I was like, well, what if you to night do
22:00
Speaker 2: a show because it was really early on and to
22:02
Speaker 2: be in the mainstage team where I go, what if
22:03
Speaker 2: you do a show where you're impossible to ignore? Like
22:07
Speaker 2: you know that their default, perhaps which is not supposed
22:10
Speaker 2: to be, is going to be to kind of like
22:11
Speaker 2: throw you under the bus or ignore you. In your
22:13
Speaker 2: experience now being on this team, what if you are
22:16
Speaker 2: so loud they would look crazy if they ignored you.
22:20
Speaker 2: So that's what I had to do. I remember it vividly.
22:25
Speaker 2: And so I have found that in this what's meant
22:29
Speaker 2: to be collaborative, that my voice or my input or
22:32
Speaker 2: my addition to the scene might not always be honored.
22:35
Speaker 2: In the same way someone else's might be. And I
22:38
Speaker 2: was like, I can either stop doing this thing that
22:40
Speaker 2: I've really loved and I worked really hard to earn
22:42
Speaker 2: a spot on this team, or I can make sure
22:45
Speaker 2: I'm being really bold, And so that's how I perform.
22:48
Speaker 2: I proble when I'm performing with people. I'm bold as
22:50
Speaker 2: a result of it really bold, much to the chagrin
22:53
Speaker 2: of some podcast listeners, But it's on purpose. I'm not
22:56
Speaker 2: mindlessly bold. It's a choice and it's worked for me,
23:00
Speaker 2: and it makes and it has allowed my voice to
23:03
Speaker 2: shine through, especially in situations where it could easily be
23:06
Speaker 2: overlooked or not embraced. And then I did a one
23:09
Speaker 2: woman's show before I had SNL as well, and that
23:12
Speaker 2: was all me and I got to make it what
23:13
Speaker 2: I want and do things that I thought was funny,
23:16
Speaker 2: and I wrote a bunch of characters I thought were
23:18
Speaker 2: funny and then I did half of them for the show,
23:20
Speaker 2: and so that was another moment where I got to
23:22
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful that I got to do that one
23:24
Speaker 2: woman's show before I came to do this job, because
23:27
Speaker 2: it made me more secure in my own comedic voice
23:30
Speaker 2: and my own comedic point of view, and had I
23:33
Speaker 2: gotten this job in twenty sixteen before I did the
23:35
Speaker 2: One Woman's Show, I don't know that I'd have the
23:38
Speaker 2: same confidence and grit that I have now that has
23:41
Speaker 2: allowed me to do my job the way I've done
23:43
Speaker 2: it to this point. So it's like, yeah, I think
23:46
Speaker 2: sometimes that like pushback or not having people embrace you
23:50
Speaker 2: one is incredibly frustrating. At the same time the positive side,
23:56
Speaker 2: there can be a positive side, I should say, and
23:58
Speaker 2: that is like if you lean in and you go,
24:00
Speaker 2: I'm going to really discover what it is and stand
24:02
Speaker 2: on what it is I think is fun or funny
24:04
Speaker 2: and what my voice is. That's cool, and I'm so
24:07
Speaker 2: grateful I did that, woman seown. I'm grateful I had
24:09
Speaker 2: that experience on the main stage at UCB early on.
24:12
Speaker 1: I think it's really speaks to who you are that
24:15
Speaker 1: you use the struggle to get better instead of to
24:20
Speaker 1: crack or crawl into your shell. You puffed up instead,
24:24
Speaker 1: which is very cool. So I was shocked to hear
24:27
Speaker 1: that when you auditioned for SNL you didn't even really
24:31
Speaker 1: want the job that much, because you are so goal
24:33
Speaker 1: oriented and so intentional. How did that happen? How'd you
24:37
Speaker 1: show up to the audition and not care.
24:40
Speaker 2: It wasn't you know. I care about everything that I do,
24:43
Speaker 2: and I really believe if you're going to do something,
24:45
Speaker 2: you better care about it. Yeah, I when I say
24:49
Speaker 2: I didn't want it, I was like, it just wasn't
24:51
Speaker 2: in my purview. Like one, there's probably a number of
24:55
Speaker 2: reasons I didn't really seen myself for anyone I could
24:57
Speaker 2: look to and go, oh that per looks like me
25:02
Speaker 2: or reminds me of myself, or like that that makes
25:05
Speaker 2: me feel like I can be there. You know, it
25:08
Speaker 2: just is not something I thought about, Like even I
25:10
Speaker 2: grew up watching a lot of stuff that it was
25:12
Speaker 2: really fun and funny. But even as I was watching
25:14
Speaker 2: and people have asked me like, oh, and did that
25:15
Speaker 2: make you want to do comedy, I was like no,
25:18
Speaker 2: I just thought Martin Lawrence was really funny and I
25:20
Speaker 2: loved watching it with my brother like I love watching
25:23
Speaker 2: Martin with my brothers. I wasn't even thinking about like, oh,
25:26
Speaker 2: I want to do what Martin does, and so you know,
25:28
Speaker 2: there were people on Martin that looked like me. But
25:30
Speaker 2: it just that even when I wanted to pursue acting,
25:32
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm I started taking drama classes because
25:35
Speaker 2: I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, that's what actors do,
25:37
Speaker 2: it's drama. I have trouble articulating it, even even when
25:41
Speaker 2: I hear myself describing it in interviews and such, I'm like,
25:44
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I'm articulating this properly. How
25:48
Speaker 2: Like this whole career was just not something I knew
25:55
Speaker 2: was actually available to me. So even as I said
25:57
Speaker 2: I wanted to endeavor to to become an actor, like
26:02
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I fully even understood what
26:04
Speaker 2: it meant, or like you know, when I what if
26:06
Speaker 2: you tell me you want to be a doctor, I
26:08
Speaker 2: ago knows to go, well what specialty? What do you
26:10
Speaker 2: do your residency? And like I just I'm like, I
26:13
Speaker 2: didn't even know that. There's like some actors who are
26:14
Speaker 2: good at comedy and some who are good at drama,
26:16
Speaker 2: and some who are indie film actors and they shine there,
26:19
Speaker 2: and like that's I didn't know anything about it. I
26:22
Speaker 2: just knew I really enjoyed performing. I really really enjoyed it.
26:25
Speaker 2: And so I feel like with SNL, it's just not
26:29
Speaker 2: something I had considered. It just had not I knew
26:31
Speaker 2: SNL I just hadn't considered it. So when it came
26:34
Speaker 2: to me, I felt like I felt grateful to be
26:39
Speaker 2: recognized and that they had expressed interest. At the same time,
26:43
Speaker 2: so much was going well again after this was after
26:45
Speaker 2: my Hawaii trip, and I like, I, you know, I'd
26:49
Speaker 2: met Kevin Hart and he was coming on board to
26:54
Speaker 2: produce a show of mine and that was really exciting.
26:57
Speaker 2: And I to commercial finally, and I was living off
27:03
Speaker 2: of commercial money. I was like, cool, and I'm really
27:05
Speaker 2: enjoying and loving my life in LA for the first time,
27:08
Speaker 2: because I didn't enjoy it for a very long time. Truly.
27:11
Speaker 2: It was tough city in many ways, and so I
27:15
Speaker 2: just was like, oh, this feels like a little bit
27:17
Speaker 2: of a disruption, even though you like, yeah, I just
27:20
Speaker 2: it wasn't. It wasn't on the vision board though, you know,
27:23
Speaker 2: the vision board had like I want to be a
27:24
Speaker 2: series regular on a show that has multiple seasons, and
27:28
Speaker 2: I'm like, certainly s and no, certainly that right, but
27:31
Speaker 2: it's just not even as I was conceptualizing it for
27:33
Speaker 2: myself what I had thought of, and so I was like,
27:36
Speaker 2: this feels like this is going to really disrupt the
27:37
Speaker 2: life I've built for myself. That's what it felt like.
27:41
Speaker 2: It was like, I finally, I'm finally at a place
27:44
Speaker 2: where I'm enjoying my life. In LA I really feel
27:47
Speaker 2: like I found a really beautiful community, my finances seemed
27:51
Speaker 2: to be in order. I'm getting to make something that's
27:54
Speaker 2: mine and to start to journey down that path. And
27:57
Speaker 2: so it felt like wait what. And so it was
28:01
Speaker 2: also scary because I was like, so much of it
28:03
Speaker 2: was unknown and SNL's notoriously challenging place. But I knew
28:06
Speaker 2: I was gonna do. I was gonna do the test
28:08
Speaker 2: I wanted to, and I wanted to do a good job.
28:12
Speaker 2: I really wanted to do a good job because I
28:14
Speaker 2: was like, well, I'm gonna test, and if I'm gonna test,
28:16
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do a good job because I want that.
28:18
Speaker 2: I want to be associated with good work. Yeah, And
28:21
Speaker 2: so that's where that came from. But it it lent
28:23
Speaker 2: itself to a looseness that I might not if I
28:25
Speaker 2: was like so hungry and desperate for it that I
28:28
Speaker 2: was clenching like this and my fists were I don't
28:31
Speaker 2: know that I would have gone in with the same
28:32
Speaker 2: confidence and looseness, and like truly letting my personality shine
28:36
Speaker 2: through in the way that I actually did for that test.
28:40
Speaker 1: I love that you just want like this because I
28:43
Speaker 1: see the hands that are clenching in it. It's so true.
28:46
Speaker 1: Oprah always says not to get so woo, but you
28:49
Speaker 1: have to want for it, wish for it, and then
28:51
Speaker 1: let it go, like when you hold on you just
28:54
Speaker 1: can't hold on for dear life.
28:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think everything in life is meant to
29:01
Speaker 2: be embraced with a I've seen soft grip loose grip,
29:06
Speaker 2: and it's like, enjoy what is here and you know
29:12
Speaker 2: and what you do have, but also know that you
29:15
Speaker 2: may not be able to have it forever. So know
29:18
Speaker 2: that things will fall into that hand, things will flow
29:20
Speaker 2: out of that hand, but other things will fall into
29:22
Speaker 2: the hand, and it's just sort of a cycle and
29:24
Speaker 2: that part of the journey. We like want I don't
29:28
Speaker 2: know how to speak for the all of humanity, but
29:29
Speaker 2: many of us want, like pleasel, yeah, and to like,
29:34
Speaker 2: once you have something, to possess it and be sure
29:36
Speaker 2: that you possess it, and to possess it because we
29:40
Speaker 2: grapple so much with the uncertainty of life and that
29:42
Speaker 2: feels scary to do but it. Yeah, there was just
29:46
Speaker 2: such a And I have friends who are still wanting
29:49
Speaker 2: to book that like big job that sort of changes
29:52
Speaker 2: their careers, and I've had to be like, yeah, when
29:55
Speaker 2: you don't care as much and and you don't look
30:00
Speaker 2: at it like you don't make an idol out of
30:02
Speaker 2: it either, where you're like, this is going to be
30:04
Speaker 2: the thing that changes my life. I think can happen,
30:08
Speaker 2: which is easier said than done. But yeah.
30:14
Speaker 1: A few months ago, I started hopping on zoom calls
30:18
Speaker 1: with You with listeners who sent me a screenshot of
30:24
Speaker 1: an episode that they shared with a few friends or
30:26
Speaker 1: wrote a review. And getting on these zooms with you
30:30
Speaker 1: all has been just so inspiring and so fun for me.
30:35
Speaker 1: So I'm continuing this. This is happening right now. If
30:38
Speaker 1: you want to get in on it, please just email
30:40
Speaker 1: me or DM me a screenshot of you sharing an
30:44
Speaker 1: episode you love with a few people you love, or
30:48
Speaker 1: send me a screenshot of a review that you write
30:51
Speaker 1: for the pod, and you'll be entered to win a
30:55
Speaker 1: fifteen to thirty minute Zoom with me that week. I'd
30:57
Speaker 1: love to say they were fifteen minutes, but we end
30:59
Speaker 1: up chatting. I can't help myself. You guys are all
31:03
Speaker 1: so fun and smart and awesome, so I end up
31:08
Speaker 1: wanting to know all about your lives. And one of
31:11
Speaker 1: the zooms that I hopped on about a month ago
31:14
Speaker 1: was with a listener named Alexi Anderson who just took
31:19
Speaker 1: the big leap to start her own business. So I
31:22
Speaker 1: wanted all of us to support her, and I promised
31:26
Speaker 1: i'd play an ad for her on the pod. So
31:29
Speaker 1: here she goes.
31:30
Speaker 3: If you're like most people, your day gets bogged down
31:33
Speaker 3: with logistics and operations that take you away from focusing
31:36
Speaker 3: on strategy and growing your business. That's where I come in.
31:40
Speaker 3: My name is Alexi Anderson, and I have a passion
31:43
Speaker 3: for organization and efficiency. I will help you with everything
31:47
Speaker 3: from project and data management to calendar coordination and email communication.
31:52
Speaker 3: Let me be your personal COO. See how I can
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Speaker 3: help at Alexandram Anderson Consulting dot Com Alexandra m for
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Speaker 3: Marie Anderson Consulting dot Com. Link In the show notes.
32:09
Speaker 1: You know you mentioned SNL being a tough environment. It
32:13
Speaker 1: is notoriously known as like a pressure cooker, but it's
32:16
Speaker 1: also so iconic and I don't use that word lightly
32:19
Speaker 1: like I know it's so overused in culture. It really
32:22
Speaker 1: is iconic. And I heard Kristin Wiggs say one time
32:26
Speaker 1: that she loves the puzzle of SNL.
32:29
Speaker 2: I just saw that interview. I just suck.
32:32
Speaker 1: Is that what you love about it?
32:34
Speaker 2: I literally watched that Conan interview last night, Merror hours ago.
32:39
Speaker 2: It's what I love in what I hate about it? Like,
32:42
Speaker 2: honestly is that? But it's my first instinct is to
32:45
Speaker 2: say love And then I think about weeks when it
32:47
Speaker 2: feels this feels so challenging and crappy. This thing I'm
32:50
Speaker 2: going to say, which is that it changes week to week.
32:53
Speaker 2: I love how new every week is. It's upsetting how
32:57
Speaker 2: new every week is, because you I want to build momentum,
33:00
Speaker 2: and they'll say there's no such thing as momentum here
33:02
Speaker 2: every week, like it doesn't matter what you did on Saturday,
33:05
Speaker 2: Like you could have had the most viral sketch or
33:07
Speaker 2: the best sketch, and it's like, great, it's Monday.
33:09
Speaker 1: Which day of the week is the most stressful? Or
33:11
Speaker 1: is it change every week?
33:14
Speaker 2: I have probably peauk anxiety Tuesday into Wednesday, which is
33:22
Speaker 2: our writing night, and then followed by our table read,
33:24
Speaker 2: which is just basically an audition to be like, do
33:27
Speaker 2: you like the sketch? Do you guys like this piece?
33:29
Speaker 2: Will my colleagues laugh at this and thus give it
33:31
Speaker 2: a shot to be in the show. And then after
33:34
Speaker 2: that table read, we wait to see like you could
33:36
Speaker 2: have killed in a sketch and a sketch could have
33:38
Speaker 2: brought the house down at table read, and then you
33:41
Speaker 2: wait to see what sketches are picked for dress rehearsal,
33:43
Speaker 2: and that sketch isn't on there, so you like do
33:46
Speaker 2: the thing and you it's like, Okay, hold your breath, Okay,
33:49
Speaker 2: we did a good job at Is this sketch gonna
33:51
Speaker 2: go well at table Okay? It went well. Okay, but
33:53
Speaker 2: now I'm holding my breath at the end of table
33:55
Speaker 2: read to be like, well, while they're in the meeting,
33:57
Speaker 2: are they gonna pick it? And I'm gonna find out
33:59
Speaker 2: at some point between nine forty five and eleven PM,
34:02
Speaker 2: I'm going to find out if the sketch is going
34:03
Speaker 2: to dress or so. So I'm holding my breath but
34:05
Speaker 2: trying to be chill with my coworkers and pretend everything's
34:08
Speaker 2: all cool. But I'm like, this is this is a
34:10
Speaker 2: sign of what my Saturday is going to be like so,
34:12
Speaker 2: and then Tuesday it's like getting people to write with you.
34:16
Speaker 2: So much of that job is having writers changes. That
34:21
Speaker 2: changes your whole experience there. I've had all those versions
34:24
Speaker 2: of that experience of like having someone who writes for
34:26
Speaker 2: me to not having someone that person not being there anymore,
34:29
Speaker 2: to like having a few people interested in writing to me,
34:32
Speaker 2: to having nobody interested in writing for me. So that
34:35
Speaker 2: part is scary and stressful, and like I the ever changing.
34:41
Speaker 2: It just feels new every week. And I don't think
34:43
Speaker 2: i'd want to work at a job personally. I would
34:45
Speaker 2: be pretty I get just telling someone that I'm really
34:48
Speaker 2: bored of like what is it like workouts with a
34:52
Speaker 2: ton of repetition. I'm like, I get so bored that
34:55
Speaker 2: I I was like, when something feels tedious, I'll kind
34:58
Speaker 2: of stop doing it because I'm like, well this is.
35:02
Speaker 1: And so do you struggle it all with like managing
35:05
Speaker 1: your personal life? Like are you this is personal? But
35:08
Speaker 1: like are you able to date? Like this seems like
35:10
Speaker 1: totally untenable.
35:12
Speaker 2: You know, it kind of is untenable. Frankly, I was
35:15
Speaker 2: like looking around at my cast mates the other day
35:17
Speaker 2: and I was like everyone here was sort of like
35:21
Speaker 2: in a relationship, namely my castmates, like when they started
35:27
Speaker 2: this job, and like getting into one seems to be
35:30
Speaker 2: more of a tricky situation. I'm like, I'm looking, I'm
35:32
Speaker 2: like envisioning our table read and going around table read
35:35
Speaker 2: and thinking about everybody who's in a partnership, and I'm like, yeah,
35:38
Speaker 2: it's kind of a hard thing to start a new relationship,
35:41
Speaker 2: and it's hard to maintain a relationship while working there.
35:44
Speaker 2: The hours are not normal for anybody, and it's hard
35:49
Speaker 2: to describe to people who aren't doing it. Many people
35:53
Speaker 2: are off on the weekends and we're working full time,
35:55
Speaker 2: and then other people are getting off of work on
35:58
Speaker 2: Thursday at four p but I might not have to
36:01
Speaker 2: go to work until five pm on Thursday, and so
36:04
Speaker 2: it's really you know, it does pose a challenge show,
36:08
Speaker 2: and it's very hard to balance a personal life, be
36:11
Speaker 2: it dating or even like seeing friends.
36:13
Speaker 1: There's this amazing story that I read in a magazine
36:17
Speaker 1: that during COVID, you led this discussion in the writer's
36:20
Speaker 1: room and it prompted everybody to reveal their fears about
36:24
Speaker 1: working at SNL, which is incredible.
36:29
Speaker 2: So millennial and.
36:31
Speaker 1: Woo woo and amazing.
36:34
Speaker 2: I am very very woo woo. And I'm sure many
36:36
Speaker 2: of them walked away and was like, what the fuck
36:38
Speaker 2: was that? But it is me. I'm a pis so
36:41
Speaker 2: very sensitive.
36:42
Speaker 1: This is a woo woo podcast, so you're in a
36:44
Speaker 1: good company.
36:46
Speaker 2: But yeah, I truly loved that moment.
36:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, well what was your fear?
36:51
Speaker 2: It was like being able to navigate this new relationship
36:54
Speaker 2: I was in while being at the job, because it
36:58
Speaker 2: started over the summer. And then I was like, Okay,
37:00
Speaker 2: but I go back to work and I know I
37:03
Speaker 2: hear from colleagues who are in relationships what their partners
37:05
Speaker 2: say about their own energy. Once we go back to
37:08
Speaker 2: in season and are working on show weeks, and I
37:11
Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, how's this going to impact this relationship?
37:14
Speaker 2: And so that was mine. A few people brought up relationships.
37:17
Speaker 2: It's interesting, I I have work is just so rewarding
37:24
Speaker 2: when it's rewarding that I'm like, I really like my
37:28
Speaker 2: I really like working sometimes working more than being in relationship.
37:35
Speaker 2: I think Adam Sandler told me, and I've said this
37:38
Speaker 2: before too, Adam Sandler told me, like, you know, focus
37:40
Speaker 2: on dating in the summers, and while you're here you
37:42
Speaker 2: can just really focus on work, and there's something to that,
37:45
Speaker 2: you know, there is something to the now. He told
37:47
Speaker 2: me that my first season, and now that I'm in
37:50
Speaker 2: my six I'm like, actually, Adam was right. I think
37:54
Speaker 2: it's much easier and far more tenable to like devote
37:58
Speaker 2: myself to work while I'm here during season from September
38:01
Speaker 2: to May, and then spend summer. If I want to
38:04
Speaker 2: explore dating and such, I can do that then. But
38:09
Speaker 2: you know, it's the dating's hard regardless what.
38:12
Speaker 1: It's hard in every state and every city.
38:16
Speaker 2: Someone today goes, oh, in New York, it's terrible. I
38:19
Speaker 2: don't think it's just New York. I think it's just
38:22
Speaker 2: hard everywhere. Yeah, it's hard everywhere.
38:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I'm in a whole division for you. I
38:32
Speaker 1: want someone like really dope to come on the show
38:34
Speaker 1: as a guest host or a musical artist and just
38:38
Speaker 1: like sweep you off your feet and it's just gonna
38:40
Speaker 1: hit you and they're gonna understand your schedule.
38:43
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you. You know what. I'm gonna just go yes,
38:47
Speaker 2: a sound of that. Yeah, I don't even know that
38:49
Speaker 2: I'm interested in someone in entertainment per se because I'm
38:55
Speaker 2: so glad I get to do what I do, But
38:57
Speaker 2: I also never want to be like, oh and then
38:59
Speaker 2: I come home and we're talking about this all day.
39:01
Speaker 2: You know, I'm receiving a positive manifestation for some miraculous person,
39:07
Speaker 2: some miraculous man will make an appearance energy.
39:11
Speaker 1: I go, So it's I do think it's just gonna
39:14
Speaker 1: kind of.
39:15
Speaker 2: I want, you know what, because I'm done striving, I'll
39:17
Speaker 2: tell you that I've been connected to some really spooky
39:23
Speaker 2: people because I see the best in people, and in retrospect,
39:27
Speaker 2: been like, oh my gosh, it's like really scary where
39:30
Speaker 2: you go, Oh my gosh, who was in my house?
39:32
Speaker 2: Who was in my house for this long? I don't
39:34
Speaker 2: even what? Oh my goodness, it's it's like a violation
39:38
Speaker 2: of sorts where like that was like the joker under
39:42
Speaker 2: my roof, and that's so jarring. But I and I
39:46
Speaker 2: tend I see the best in people, so I have
39:47
Speaker 2: to be careful who I give that energy to.
39:50
Speaker 1: I had a joker in my house and it screwed
39:52
Speaker 1: me up for years, so I get.
39:55
Speaker 2: It's so yeah, it's really Danielle, it's really jarring. I
39:59
Speaker 2: was telling some because someone was like, what's so jarring
40:02
Speaker 2: about it? My car got broken into, and I said,
40:03
Speaker 2: it feels like I go, I'm driving the car around
40:07
Speaker 2: later that day. You know, there's nothing wrong with it.
40:09
Speaker 2: I was like, but you just feel like this ominous,
40:12
Speaker 2: like this somebody was in here. That's like, I don't
40:15
Speaker 2: know who was in here and what stuff they did.
40:17
Speaker 2: And they were like in here without my consent in
40:20
Speaker 2: a sense, and it's not quite without consent in terms
40:23
Speaker 2: of dating, it's but it's like, oh you were I
40:28
Speaker 2: mean literally a joker to face. I'm stunned by these people.
40:33
Speaker 2: And then they go to sleep at night and that's
40:34
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do you do that? Like it's really
40:37
Speaker 2: really spooky. And now I feel very protective and not
40:40
Speaker 2: in a light walls up way. I just go, oh,
40:43
Speaker 2: our bodies know.
40:44
Speaker 1: Too, that part. And I think when you meet one
40:47
Speaker 1: you start to recognize it.
40:48
Speaker 2: Now, Yes, yes, there's no mistaking it. I think I
40:53
Speaker 2: have spent talking to Keenan about this months ago, but
40:57
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I think I I'm a pretty
41:01
Speaker 2: self assured person and decisive as well, and many times
41:07
Speaker 2: in my past, just even friends I feel like are
41:11
Speaker 2: off put by the self assuredness and the decisiveness that
41:15
Speaker 2: they sense from me, and it made me their like
41:19
Speaker 2: confusion about it made me be like, oh, maybe I'm
41:21
Speaker 2: not supposed to be this self assured. Maybe I'm not
41:22
Speaker 2: supposed to be like this, yeah, this certain about things
41:27
Speaker 2: that I like or don't like. And it made me
41:29
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, well, let's off, let's let's be less
41:33
Speaker 2: assured in this way, and let's play Devil's advocate all
41:36
Speaker 2: the time to ourselves, and let's second guess ourselves and
41:38
Speaker 2: let's play let's and let's challenge our own thoughts all
41:42
Speaker 2: the time. And it just created a level of like confusion.
41:45
Speaker 2: And that's how like the weasels get into And so
41:49
Speaker 2: I know I'm a pretty discerning person. I'm like, I
41:53
Speaker 2: think I pick up an on energy pretty easily. I
41:57
Speaker 2: wish I was telling my therapists. I wish I could
41:59
Speaker 2: pick up on it like twenty to thirty percent less
42:02
Speaker 2: because it just make my mind more settled. But I'm like,
42:04
Speaker 2: I'm like picking up energy all the time, and now
42:08
Speaker 2: I know to trust it. Keenan was like, it's a
42:10
Speaker 2: gift from God to try. You know, your intuition is
42:14
Speaker 2: a gift from God. The same way your talent is.
42:17
Speaker 2: And he said that to me in the fall. Whether
42:19
Speaker 2: he'll remember it or not, but it really resonated with me,
42:21
Speaker 2: and I shared it with a few friends. I was like,
42:22
Speaker 2: that's a beautiful way to put it. So why spend
42:25
Speaker 2: any time and so much time trying to resist your
42:30
Speaker 2: own intuition? Like you know, And I'm like, if I
42:34
Speaker 2: could go back in time and just go, oh, your
42:36
Speaker 2: intuition and that achy feeling you have about this person,
42:40
Speaker 2: maybe you're spot on. You're more than spot on. It's
42:43
Speaker 2: even worse than your sense. You know, we know, our
42:47
Speaker 2: bodies know. And like I was side my friend Ashley,
42:51
Speaker 2: I go think about it. I never had to convince
42:53
Speaker 2: myself to be friends with you a year or two deep,
42:55
Speaker 2: being like I gotta stay friends with this person that
42:57
Speaker 2: I don't like. At no point have I been like
43:00
Speaker 2: I don't want to be friends with her anymore. But
43:01
Speaker 2: I'm juggling like, oh, I'm going to stay her friend.
43:04
Speaker 2: I'm like, I've never had to convince myself you were
43:06
Speaker 2: a good person.
43:06
Speaker 1: Yeah. Never, you know, that's a great comparison.
43:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like I think ease is
43:19
Speaker 2: such a good sign as a person who loves a challenge.
43:21
Speaker 2: It can be like you got to determine for yourself
43:25
Speaker 2: what's a worthwhile challenge? And I think that, like I
43:30
Speaker 2: think that, like sometimes you can tell yourself like, oh,
43:32
Speaker 2: a relationship is a worthwhile challenge. But it's like, what
43:36
Speaker 2: kind of challenge is it? Frankly, is it a challenge
43:39
Speaker 2: to your self esteem? Is it a challenge to your
43:41
Speaker 2: peace of mind? That's not a worthwhile challenge. That's not
43:46
Speaker 2: the kind of challenge your relationship should be. In my
43:51
Speaker 2: humble opinion, Unfortunately, it feels like we have to have
43:54
Speaker 2: some experiences that are less than ideal. There's no teacher
43:58
Speaker 2: like experience if it be.
44:01
Speaker 1: So you mentioned your one woman show and it was
44:03
Speaker 1: called Great Black Women, and then there's me. And as
44:08
Speaker 1: I was preparing for this, I was looking at your
44:10
Speaker 1: Instagram and you have a photo facetiming Whoopi Goldberg. You
44:15
Speaker 1: have one like embracing Dion Warwick, And I kept thinking, like,
44:21
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's so many of these great Black
44:23
Speaker 1: women that you've gotten to meet at this point. Do
44:27
Speaker 1: their words stay with you? Has anybody said anything that
44:30
Speaker 1: like really stood out?
44:32
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean Whoopy was like I really enjoy your
44:35
Speaker 2: comedy and enjoy you as a comedian. I'm like to
44:37
Speaker 2: hear that from the Whoopee Goldberg Are you kidding me?
44:41
Speaker 2: And my friend has printed out After I did my
44:44
Speaker 2: first Dean Warwick talk show on SNL, Dion thank God
44:48
Speaker 2: for her truly tweeted, you did a wonderful job. Baby,
44:51
Speaker 2: You're a star. And my friend printed it out for
44:54
Speaker 2: me and had it frame and it sits on my
44:56
Speaker 2: vanity and I get to see that that like the legend,
45:00
Speaker 2: the phenom that is Dion Warwick saw me and embraced
45:04
Speaker 2: me and used her voice to elevate me and bring
45:08
Speaker 2: attention to me. It means the world. It means the world,
45:14
Speaker 2: and it just makes all the difference. It makes all
45:16
Speaker 2: the difference. That was like a cold face time from
45:19
Speaker 2: Whoopee Like it was like cold. That's why her hairs
45:22
Speaker 2: and rollers my hairs wrapped up. I just woke up.
45:25
Speaker 2: It was a Wednesday before table read. It was the
45:27
Speaker 2: boost I needed. And yeah, I'm so encouraged by them
45:31
Speaker 2: and their kind exports me.
45:34
Speaker 1: I think You're on the path to be that person
45:37
Speaker 1: for the next generation of a lot of performers. Thank you,
45:41
Speaker 1: you have a greatness in you. And I know I'm
45:45
Speaker 1: not the first person to tell you that, but I
45:46
Speaker 1: want you to know that I see it.
45:48
Speaker 2: Thank you, Danielle. That means a lot to me. Thank you.
45:52
Speaker 2: That means a lot to me, and I receive it.
45:54
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
45:56
Speaker 1: Thanks for receiving it. Okay, I do a quick rapid
45:58
Speaker 1: fire Okay, he last time you laughed, like really really
46:02
Speaker 1: hard last night.
46:06
Speaker 2: A random instagrammer, So thank you, and I was like
46:08
Speaker 2: screaming at this restaurant. So funny.
46:10
Speaker 1: I'm always amazed by how funny people are, Like, the
46:13
Speaker 1: comments on Instagram are unbelievable.
46:15
Speaker 2: Are you so funny? That's like the best?
46:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. It's the only reason I follow Shade Room,
46:22
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be in on the gossip,
46:24
Speaker 1: but I need the comment section comments.
46:26
Speaker 2: Man, they're so good. Guys, keep on you guys are
46:30
Speaker 2: so funny. And I'm like, these people aren't even comedians
46:34
Speaker 2: are so funny? Anyway, Yes, you have more right there
46:37
Speaker 2: with you.
46:37
Speaker 1: Okay, this is sort of a cliche question, but do
46:40
Speaker 1: you have a dream host and musical pairing for SNL.
46:44
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, dream host? Okay, dream host Beyonce pair
46:49
Speaker 2: with jay Z as music.
46:50
Speaker 1: That's so good.
46:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, or I'm gonna say like Jamie
46:55
Speaker 2: Foxx and jay Z. But yes, that's it for now.
46:59
Speaker 1: Favorite perk of fame.
47:01
Speaker 2: Favorite perk of fame restaurant reservations that are hard to get.
47:05
Speaker 2: I love food so much, and thank you to every restaurant.
47:08
Speaker 2: I want to shout out Lilia in New York. They
47:10
Speaker 2: always take such kid care of me, Like I feel
47:13
Speaker 2: so deeply cared for by them, not just a reservation,
47:16
Speaker 2: like they're amazing. That team over there is incredible. That's
47:19
Speaker 2: in Brooklyn, They're so good. But restaurant reservations. It's all
47:21
Speaker 2: I care about is food, honestly, food and music, and
47:24
Speaker 2: so yeah, I would say getting to eat.
47:27
Speaker 1: Food, music, comedy things.
47:30
Speaker 2: Yeah.
47:31
Speaker 1: Okay, I do a question everything question each time, so
47:35
Speaker 1: we're virtual, so till you want to stop, Okay, stop, Okay.
47:40
Speaker 1: A mistake you made along the way that you'd like
47:42
Speaker 1: to save other people from.
47:44
Speaker 2: Oh, that's great. A mistake I made along the way
47:49
Speaker 2: that I'd like to save other people from. I this
47:54
Speaker 2: is a great question, and I feel like I made
47:56
Speaker 2: quite a few. So I'm like trying to think of
47:59
Speaker 2: I don't don't even know if it's so much a mistake. Well,
48:02
Speaker 2: in some sense it was like taking so long to
48:04
Speaker 2: get into improv or like not and or another way
48:09
Speaker 2: to look at is like there was an improv team
48:11
Speaker 2: on my campus at USC, and I wonder if I
48:13
Speaker 2: had been involved in improv while in college, if I
48:16
Speaker 2: wouldn't have enjoyed my experience in college more so, like
48:20
Speaker 2: whatever space you're in, I would advise people to explore
48:24
Speaker 2: the vastness of that space. So all I knew was like,
48:27
Speaker 2: I'm a biomajor, and I know these people that live
48:29
Speaker 2: in my dorm who some of them are also science majors,
48:32
Speaker 2: and some of them are other majors. But these are
48:33
Speaker 2: the people I know. And then my friends are a
48:35
Speaker 2: function of this. Justn't a mistake. Seems pretty standard college.
48:38
Speaker 2: I wish I had done more exploring of what was
48:40
Speaker 2: available to me instead of getting too cozy.
48:43
Speaker 1: What is a book that you've read, something that you
48:45
Speaker 1: think everybody should read?
48:48
Speaker 2: Everyone should read the Four Agreements. I'm obsessed with that book,
48:52
Speaker 2: specifically in the Second Agreement. Yeah, the Second Agreement is
48:57
Speaker 2: so liberating if you could only embody it but don't
49:02
Speaker 2: take anything personally, everything everyone does is about them, the
49:05
Speaker 2: good stuff, the bad stuff. Like how liberating to think
49:07
Speaker 2: about that and really internalize that. But that's my I
49:12
Speaker 2: think everybody should read that book. I think everybody should
49:15
Speaker 2: read it, and it's I think the better place if
49:18
Speaker 2: they did.
49:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, My last question is what's the smartest decision
49:22
Speaker 1: you've ever made?
49:24
Speaker 2: Ooh, smartest decision I ever made was betting on myself,
49:29
Speaker 2: betting on myself and taking the risk to move to
49:31
Speaker 2: LA and then practicing betting on myself at every turn
49:35
Speaker 2: in life, honestly where it presents itself. Be it like
49:37
Speaker 2: getting what I'm owed financially and betting that I'm worthy
49:42
Speaker 2: of that and not being scared of the unknown. But
49:45
Speaker 2: just like betting on myself, betting on myself, is that's
49:49
Speaker 2: the best decision I ever made.
49:51
Speaker 1: I go, thank you so much. I needed this more
49:54
Speaker 1: than I can tell you.
49:55
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you. I'm so glad we got to talk today.
50:00
Speaker 2: Thank you for I know we've been trying to make
50:02
Speaker 2: this happen for some time, but I think it happened
50:04
Speaker 2: exactly when it was supposed to.
50:10
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good
50:13
Speaker 1: day to have a good day. I'll see you next week.