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The Conjuring: Snake Oil and Séances - Xenomania 36 · Xenomania

• 0:16
  Kearns: Is John Dunn equated it to a small death
• 0:20
  Jon: Is
• 0:20
  Kearns: and then death being up
• 0:22
  Jon: death?
• 0:23
  Because
• 0:23
  Kearns: and sleep.
• 0:24
  Jon: equated that to, so small death to something else.
• 0:28
  Kearns: Oh, well that too.
• 0:29
  Was that John Dunn who did that?
• 0:31
  Jon: I thought so, but I don't know.
• 0:33
  I,
• 0:33
  Kearns: the poem I'm thinking of is Death Be Not Proud.
• 0:36
  And he says From, from rest and sleep, which buty pictures be much pleasure
• 0:40
  than from me and much more must flow.
• 0:42
  So like, sleep is awesome.
• 0:43
  So death must be great is the rough translation of that.
• 0:47
  It's like, don't be scared of it.
• 0:49
  Peasants.
• 0:50
  He wrote it during the Black Plague to make, uh, the poor people feel better
• 0:53
  about the fact that they were all dying.
• 0:55
  Ryan: Yeah, you're
• 0:55
  Jon: yeah, I mean,
• 0:56
  Ryan: for a few hours.
• 0:57
  You
• 0:57
  Jon: I.
• 0:57
  Ryan: wake up.
• 0:58
  It's okay.
• 0:59
  Kearns: And he is like, that's not that big of a deal.
• 1:01
  It's a great poem, Ryan.
• 1:02
  See me teach it.
• 1:03
  I think
• 1:03
  Ryan: Yes, it's a
• 1:05
  Kearns: it's a good poem.
• 1:07
  Ryan: still my favorite is the, uh, auto, the automated house.
• 1:11
  by Oh, oh God.
• 1:15
  Ray,
• 1:16
  Jon: Bradberry,
• 1:18
  Ryan: Ray Bradberry.
• 1:19
  There we go.
• 1:19
  I was gonna say Ray Baron.
• 1:20
  And I was gonna combine those two, and I was like, no, that's not it.
• 1:24
  Jon: Ray
• 1:25
  Kearns: um,
• 1:25
  Jon: No, I don't think it was Ray Barone.
• 1:28
  Kearns: that one.
• 1:28
  So there will come soft reins.
• 1:30
  We taught that to kids who should not have been taught that, like they didn't
• 1:34
  get it and that was probably great.
• 1:36
  Ryan: they were fine.
• 1:37
  They were
• 1:38
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 1:39
  Ryan: the black cat was also a good one.
• 1:41
  to have,
• 1:42
  Kearns: hat works.
• 1:42
  Yeah,
• 1:43
  Ryan: it was trying to avoid, which was a, if you're a teacher and you're
• 1:47
  watching this, the great differentiation of explaining how the cat's not
• 1:51
  dead it's just a spirit still alive.
• 1:53
  It's quite interesting.
• 1:55
  Kearns: and you know what Pluto is?
• 1:56
  Kids Hades, god of the underworld, and they all freak out.
• 2:01
  It's, it's good.
• 2:02
  Wait, did he cut the cat's eye out?
• 2:03
  Sure did.
• 2:04
  Skipper.
• 2:04
  Welcome to the 10th grade.
• 2:08
  Buckle up.
• 2:09
  Anyway, everybody, this is, you know, mania and we are
• 2:12
  doing the conjuring tonight.
• 2:15
  But before we get into that, the ups and downs that, that will surely have,
• 2:19
  John's got a fun little thing for us.
• 2:22
  Jon: do, I have a blind rank for you guys,
• 2:25
  Ryan: all right.
• 2:28
  Jon: you guys are actually this time going, it's six movies.
• 2:33
  Kearns: Six.
• 2:34
  Jon: It's a
• 2:35
  Kearns: Ooh, look at that.
• 2:37
  Ooh,
• 2:39
  Ryan: The theme
• 2:39
  Jon: All right.
• 2:39
  Ryan: James Juan.
• 2:41
  All
• 2:42
  Jon: is not.
• 2:43
  It is not all James one.
• 2:45
  So your
• 2:45
  Kearns: All sequels.
• 2:46
  Jon: insidious Two, it is
• 2:48
  Kearns: All sequels in a franchise.
• 2:50
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  God damnit all sequels In a larger franchise, I would've like jump
• 2:53
  on Ryan's frigging coattails and just guess it right away.
• 2:57
  Insidious Two Ghost stories.
• 3:00
  now with Insidious, I know that I always confuse the Conjuring and Insidious.
• 3:03
  Insidious doesn't have the Warrens.
• 3:05
  That's the one with the demon in the first one.
• 3:08
  Ryan: Yeah, that's the, um,
• 3:09
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 3:10
  Ryan: Patrick Wilson in it, uh, who's
• 3:12
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 3:12
  That's where I get confused.
• 3:14
  Yeah,
• 3:15
  Ryan: the first
• 3:15
  Jon: The first one.
• 3:16
  Ryan: the Red Demon going after their son and he, the, the son is possessed
• 3:21
  Kearns: up on the wall.
• 3:22
  Ryan: the, yes.
• 3:23
  It's so good.
• 3:23
  Um, I love the first one, but the second
• 3:25
  Kearns: Insidious.
• 3:27
  Ryan: oh, I was gonna say it focuses more on the black bride.
• 3:29
  Kearns: yeah, I find Insidious to be the superior film compared to the Conjuring.
• 3:32
  I'll just throw that out there
• 3:34
  Ryan: I agree.
• 3:35
  Kearns: for controversy.
• 3:36
  I think Insidious is a better.
• 3:37
  Jon: too.
• 3:38
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 3:39
  insidious two where I have, uh,
• 3:42
  Jon: through
• 3:42
  Kearns: any of these, any of these One through six.
• 3:45
  So all of them.
• 3:46
  Oh, no.
• 3:46
  One through six as far as that.
• 3:48
  Jon: Yeah.
• 3:48
  You're ranking one
• 3:49
  Kearns: Four.
• 3:49
  Jon: We have six
• 3:50
  Kearns: Four.
• 3:51
  Jon: our blind.
• 3:51
  Rank four for current.
• 3:53
  Kearns: Quatro baby.
• 3:55
  Ryan: I am going to go with number three.
• 3:59
  Jon: right.
• 4:00
  Ryan: three.
• 4:01
  Kearns: Ooh.
• 4:02
  Yes.
• 4:03
  Jon: is, this is the remake before you get too excited.
• 4:07
  Ryan: Okay.
• 4:07
  Yeah.
• 4:09
  these all Patrick Wilson films?
• 4:11
  Jon: Uh, they are not,
• 4:13
  Ryan: I haven't seen
• 4:14
  Kearns: All films where women wear dresses,
• 4:19
  Jon: that's a good guess, but it is not the answer.
• 4:22
  Ryan: If you said yes, I wouldn't have been like upset.
• 4:24
  I was like, all right.
• 4:25
  That was really good.
• 4:25
  Right?
• 4:27
  Kearns: city is two versus the remake of Carrie is like the, the matchup.
• 4:31
  And from hell in my head, I, I simply don't care.
• 4:37
  I'm gonna put Carrie at three.
• 4:40
  I wanna do five.
• 4:42
  Ryan: I'm gonna put it at six.
• 4:44
  'cause I mean, I've seen the original, I've seen bits of this remake,
• 4:49
  but like the main star, I think it's the hit girl from Kick Ass,
• 4:54
  Kearns: Yeah, she's awesome.
• 4:56
  Ryan: She's amazing.
• 4:57
  But I don't, I don't know that nothing beats the original.
• 5:01
  Jon: And Chloe Grace
• 5:02
  Kearns: true.
• 5:03
  Chloe Grace Martz.
• 5:06
  Jon: All right,
• 5:07
  Ryan: Volta.
• 5:09
  Jon: so
• 5:09
  Kearns: for the best.
• 5:10
  Jon: movie number three,
• 5:14
  Kearns: Oh, okay.
• 5:15
  Jon: Purge.
• 5:18
  Kearns: That's tough too.
• 5:19
  'cause I would've put that a three son of a bitch.
• 5:22
  The purge gets number two.
• 5:23
  Let's see.
• 5:24
  I'm trying to think.
• 5:25
  Ryan: I'm gonna go with number two with that too.
• 5:27
  That was a good film.
• 5:28
  I saw that in theaters when it
• 5:30
  Kearns: Do they all have the same producer?
• 5:34
  Jon: um, no.
• 5:36
  Kearns: Damnit?
• 5:36
  I tried to cheat with the top because it says the producer
• 5:38
  of the of sinister on the top.
• 5:40
  Ryan: I was thinking about that too.
• 5:43
  Hmm.
• 5:43
  Kearns: didn't know his name, so I was like the same producer.
• 5:46
  Um,
• 5:47
  Ryan: wait a minute.
• 5:48
  We haven't, does it have anything to do with actors within it?
• 5:54
  Is, is it around actors
• 5:55
  Kearns: clues.
• 5:56
  There were no clues.
• 5:57
  Jon: it does not.
• 5:58
  I, I will give, I will, I'll get, I'll give you a clue.
• 6:04
  You
• 6:05
  Kearns: Oh
• 6:05
  Jon: me a vague answer that I will count, but it is a, there's
• 6:09
  also a very specific answer.
• 6:14
  Ryan: Okay.
• 6:15
  Jon: All right.
• 6:16
  Ready for movie number four,
• 6:19
  Kearns: yeah.
• 6:20
  Jon: mama.
• 6:22
  Kearns: Five.
• 6:23
  Jon: Really?
• 6:25
  Kearns: I didn't like mama probably for Freudian reasons.
• 6:30
  Ryan: I'll put it at four.
• 6:32
  Jon: four.
• 6:34
  Ryan: How the list, how I have a list going now.
• 6:36
  That would definitely be four,
• 6:37
  Jon: All right.
• 6:38
  You both have number one left
• 6:40
  Kearns: And number six.
• 6:42
  Jon: and no.
• 6:42
  Kerns has six and Ryan has the five.
• 6:46
  Ryan: five.
• 6:47
  Kearns: Well, this is gonna go one of two ways, everybody.
• 6:50
  Jon: All right.
• 6:52
  Movie
• 6:52
  Kearns: we go.
• 6:54
  Jon: the
• 6:55
  Kearns: Oh.
• 6:56
  Oh, I'm still putting it at number one.
• 6:59
  Ryan: is this Movie's about possession.
• 7:03
  Jon: No,
• 7:04
  Kearns: No.
• 7:04
  'cause Carrie wasn't possessed.
• 7:05
  I would argue that to the death
• 7:07
  Jon: no, no possession in the purge either.
• 7:10
  Ryan: true.
• 7:11
  Kearns: they were possessed by blood lust.
• 7:13
  Ryan: gonna put that number five because the only reason why I saw
• 7:16
  this movie in theater, spoiler alert, is just to hear Bruce Campbell go
• 7:20
  groovy after the credits ended it.
• 7:22
  Kearns: Oh, sweet.
• 7:24
  Ryan: Oh, you didn't know that?
• 7:25
  Kearns: No, I didn't know that.
• 7:27
  Ryan: He
• 7:27
  Kearns: I saw, I went on a deep dive, uh, the other night with him
• 7:30
  staying up too late and watching his clips at Comic-Con and stuff.
• 7:34
  I just adore the man.
• 7:35
  Ryan: It's amazing.
• 7:36
  I wanna meet him so bad.
• 7:38
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 7:39
  Ryan: have him sign my jack of all trades.
• 7:40
  DVD collector.
• 7:41
  Set.
• 7:42
  Kearns: This movie better suck, John.
• 7:44
  This movie better be the worst movie ever.
• 7:46
  Jon: Well, you have six left and Ryan has one left.
• 7:49
  One of you is gonna be very happy.
• 7:53
  I don't think it's gonna be you because here's the last one.
• 7:57
  Kearns: oh.
• 7:57
  Ryan: take your next, I'll take it.
• 8:00
  What
• 8:00
  Kearns: I wouldn't put that at six.
• 8:02
  Ryan: Yeah, that's a good film.
• 8:04
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 8:07
  Jon: It is
• 8:08
  Kearns: Who invades Carrie's home.
• 8:10
  Yeah.
• 8:11
  Getting stuck on Carrie.
• 8:13
  Uh, yeah.
• 8:15
  Well that stinks.
• 8:16
  Um, let me think here.
• 8:18
  There's masks in a couple of them, but not all of them.
• 8:22
  There's blood in all of them, but not all.
• 8:24
  Or some of them.
• 8:25
  But like, it's, no, there's no theme there.
• 8:28
  Possession, isn't it?
• 8:30
  Ghosts, demons.
• 8:32
  Demons carry no demons.
• 8:34
  No demons in purge.
• 8:35
  Purge has no supernatural element whatsoever.
• 8:37
  Ryan: No,
• 8:37
  Jon: all.
• 8:38
  Ryan: no, it doesn't.
• 8:41
  Hmm.
• 8:42
  Are
• 8:42
  Kearns: They're you're stuck at home.
• 8:44
  You're shut in at home.
• 8:45
  Not in carry though.
• 8:46
  You're not.
• 8:48
  Damnit I got nothing, dude.
• 8:50
  Ryan: These are movies that Stephen
• 8:51
  Kearns: I.
• 8:52
  Ryan: enjoys.
• 8:53
  Jon: I mean, maybe, but that is not.
• 8:57
  All right, so these are all movies that came out in 2013,
• 9:02
  Kearns: Aw,
• 9:03
  Jon: the same
• 9:03
  Kearns: well,
• 9:04
  Jon: the same year as The Conjuring.
• 9:06
  These are also, the most specific answer would've been, are movies,
• 9:11
  the two through seventh, most highest grossing movies of 2013.
• 9:17
  Kearns: oh wow.
• 9:18
  That was a big year for horror, huh?
• 9:20
  Jon: Conjuring was number one.
• 9:22
  Kearns: Wow.
• 9:24
  Ryan: Was nothing could beat the conquering that year.
• 9:27
  Not even insidious.
• 9:28
  Part two could.
• 9:29
  Kearns: I would've thought the purge would've, because it
• 9:31
  draws a bigger crowd of kids.
• 9:34
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 9:34
  Kearns: Kids who wouldn't just go to a horror movie,
• 9:36
  Jon: So I
• 9:37
  Kearns: but.
• 9:37
  Jon: happened with Insidious is it two is where it started to grow.
• 9:43
  the first one was kind of like, not super huge.
• 9:47
  I don't remember.
• 9:49
  Ryan: No,
• 9:50
  Kearns: know if it was, I saw it in the theaters and I really dug it.
• 9:52
  I even from the beginning where they do that, like music with the title
• 9:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 9:57
  Kearns: and I was like, oh, this is gonna be good.
• 9:59
  Jon: Yep.
• 9:59
  Kearns: And then they really leaned into everything.
• 10:01
  It was a good film.
• 10:03
  Ryan: I
• 10:03
  Kearns: Um, conjuring is not a bad movie either, as we're about to get into.
• 10:06
  Jon: No,
• 10:08
  Ryan: no.
• 10:08
  Jon: I mean, I have issues with the Conjuring that we'll go into, but most
• 10:12
  of them don't involve the movie itself.
• 10:15
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 10:16
  Do you have any, reviews to kick us off?
• 10:18
  Jon: I have two kick us off reviews.
• 10:21
  I have a five star and a one star.
• 10:23
  Kearns: Sweet.
• 10:24
  Let's start with a five.
• 10:25
  Let's start with a five.
• 10:26
  Jon: You want us?
• 10:27
  Yeah, let's start with the Five, five Stars.
• 10:30
  The whole trilogy is awesome and
• 10:32
  Kearns: Oh, boo.
• 10:33
  Jon: it.
• 10:35
  Kearns: We're not doing the whole trilogy buddy
• 10:37
  Jon: I'm 53.
• 10:39
  Seen 'em all.
• 10:41
  And this good set of movies.
• 10:43
  Creepy, scary, and worth the watch.
• 10:46
  The none in the second one was cool.
• 10:49
  As were all the terrors better than original Freddie or Jason.
• 10:54
  I'd say want to kill this person for referenced.
• 11:00
  I like 13 Ghosts House on Haunted Hill, Jason Freddy as some of my faves,
• 11:07
  and this was up there maybe above.
• 11:10
  Kearns: and self-flagellation and being an incel
• 11:13
  Jon: hard to
• 11:14
  Kearns: and long walks in the ring.
• 11:16
  Jon: Hard to find any truly good horror movies nowadays.
• 11:20
  Ryan: You're,
• 11:21
  Kearns: because you're watching the wrong ones, bro.
• 11:23
  Pro.
• 11:23
  Ryan: and
• 11:24
  Jon: Yes, sir.
• 11:25
  Ryan: he, it seems like he's just shopping at Walmart.
• 11:27
  He's going to that section.
• 11:29
  Kearns: Yeah, that sounds a lot like that.
• 11:31
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:31
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:32
  Ryan: three bundle.
• 11:33
  You need go to, go to screen factory, go to vinegar syndrome, some,
• 11:37
  Kearns: 13 Ghosts was a, it was an enjoyable watch.
• 11:40
  It is, but it's not like up there with the movies that he ranked them against.
• 11:44
  Ryan: yes.
• 11:45
  Jon: here.
• 11:46
  We will introduce you to better new horror movies than the
• 11:51
  Kearns: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:52
  Ryan: Like,
• 11:52
  Kearns: Whatever your name is.
• 11:53
  Five star Chu.
• 11:55
  Jon: we.
• 11:57
  Absolutely.
• 11:58
  All right.
• 11:59
  One star
• 12:00
  Ryan: all right, here we go.
• 12:01
  Kearns: Here we go.
• 12:02
  Not enough boobs.
• 12:03
  Jon: Two.
• 12:04
  Be honest.
• 12:05
  This is the worst film I have ever seen.
• 12:08
  is a horrible film.
• 12:10
  Not scary, no jump scares, which is what I expect in a horror film.
• 12:16
  This is a mild, you at best, me being generous and genuinely a rubbish film.
• 12:24
  I can't believe some of these reviews on here saying how great
• 12:28
  it is because I don't even think that we watched the same film.
• 12:32
  Kearns: what I find interesting about that is that the criticism I
• 12:36
  have is that there are jump scares.
• 12:38
  Ryan: Yes,
• 12:39
  Jon: There are,
• 12:40
  Kearns: There are,
• 12:41
  Jon: criticism I would have is if you're relying on the jump scare to be
• 12:45
  the scariest part of the horror movie.
• 12:48
  Kearns: I wouldn't say they do that overly too much in the first one.
• 12:50
  They do that in the second one quite a bit.
• 12:53
  Jon: the reliance on jump scares is, should not be what, where the
• 12:56
  fear of a movie is coming from.
• 12:59
  Kearns: right.
• 13:00
  I.
• 13:00
  Jon: I will go back to this.
• 13:01
  I'll, this is where I will defend Blair Witch Project for an hour and 20 minutes.
• 13:08
  Blair Witch Project up the suspense and the its ability
• 13:14
  to scare you and then it fails.
• 13:19
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 13:19
  At the end with the jump scare.
• 13:21
  Jon: but they built the fear, the jump scare is what fails.
• 13:25
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 13:27
  Ryan: it's,
• 13:28
  Kearns: It could have been better.
• 13:29
  I agree.
• 13:30
  Ryan: it, it's like you gotta go back to the old universal horror films where it
• 13:35
  was like the music, the, and the acting
• 13:38
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 13:38
  Ryan: that thrill.
• 13:39
  And especially more of the music and the conjuring.
• 13:42
  They do a good job.
• 13:44
  James Wa does a good job
• 13:45
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 13:46
  Ryan: I'm not talking about like the time piece music, which
• 13:48
  fits in brilliantly as well.
• 13:50
  But it's like the orchestra, and when shit's getting heavy, you know, it
• 13:55
  gives you goosebumps, makes your hair stand up, and sometimes it's nothing.
• 14:00
  It's the characters interacting with what they're seeing
• 14:03
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 14:04
  Ryan: it is something.
• 14:05
  And when
• 14:06
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 14:06
  Ryan: to that part on top of the closet, I did laugh 'cause that
• 14:11
  was a horrible makeup job on that.
• 14:13
  I just, I'm sorry.
• 14:17
  It was basically, it was Robert England with a wig and a
• 14:19
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 14:22
  Kearns: so this movie, just to kick off, we're, I mean, if you're watching this,
• 14:26
  you should have seen The Conjuring by now.
• 14:27
  If you haven't, and
• 14:28
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 14:29
  Kearns: I mean, we'll give you a little bit, but we're not gonna go crazy.
• 14:31
  Jon: gonna be some spoilers.
• 14:32
  If you haven't seen a 12-year-old massive horror movie by now
• 14:37
  Ryan: Mm-hmm.
• 14:38
  Jon: and you choose to listen and Yeah.
• 14:40
  Well, I don't feel
• 14:41
  Kearns: Haunted house.
• 14:42
  Lots of young daughters in a haunted house.
• 14:45
  Parents trying to figure it out.
• 14:47
  Call the specialist.
• 14:48
  Jon: and you don't even start there because the first 10 minutes of
• 14:51
  this movie is an Annabelle movie,
• 14:53
  Ryan: Yes.
• 14:54
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 14:54
  Jon: and that's, really where you realize that this movie isn't gonna
• 15:00
  show you who the Warrens actually are.
• 15:03
  It's going to show you a Hollywood heroic version of two very flawed people at best.
• 15:13
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 15:15
  Yeah.
• 15:16
  So the Warrens are the, the experts, the paranormal activity experts in the
• 15:21
  film, and they are called in after things are getting real bad over at the house.
• 15:26
  Uh, we can run through a few of those.
• 15:28
  Ryan, maybe toss out a couple of the incidents that occur in, in the beginning
• 15:33
  for this family, whose name I forgot.
• 15:35
  Ryan: They are the parent family.
• 15:37
  They move into a farmhouse in Harrisville, Rhode Island.
• 15:40
  Um, Carolyn's a stay at home mom.
• 15:42
  Roger's a truck driver and they have five daughters, Andrea, Nancy, Christine,
• 15:48
  Cindy, and April, and their dog Sadie.
• 15:50
  And it all starts when Sadie
• 15:52
  Kearns: Sadie didn't make it long,
• 15:54
  Ryan: No, and that I it.
• 15:56
  I completely forgot about it.
• 15:58
  Once I knew she wasn't going into the house, and they were like,
• 16:00
  we'll, just leave her outside.
• 16:02
  It's quiet.
• 16:02
  No one's gonna do anything.
• 16:04
  The dog gets it.
• 16:05
  Um, April.
• 16:07
  Kearns: apparently that's part of the true story.
• 16:09
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 16:10
  Kearns: did die outside their their first night.
• 16:12
  Jon: Yes.
• 16:13
  And so normally I wouldn't jump to another review right this quick,
• 16:17
  but I have one that ties into this.
• 16:19
  Kearns: Okay, let's do it.
• 16:20
  Ryan: they upset?
• 16:21
  Jon: I.
• 16:21
  Ryan: upset.
• 16:23
  I
• 16:23
  Jon: This is a one.
• 16:24
  This is a one star review and it is not gonna go where you expect it to go.
• 16:29
  To those in this one star section, stop complaining about
• 16:33
  how they killed the dog off.
• 16:36
  states that it is based on a true story and the dog died in real life.
• 16:42
  You can't bring the dog back in reality.
• 16:45
  So why change the whole story in the film?
• 16:48
  Just to fix your issue with the dog dying?
• 16:52
  Yes, it was sad, but it happened.
• 16:54
  Nothing you can do about it,
• 16:57
  Ryan: That's just
• 16:58
  Kearns: Wow.
• 16:59
  Ryan: there.
• 17:00
  Jon: sir. And this is most, I didn't take a name down.
• 17:04
  This is most assuredly a man because a woman would never
• 17:07
  write something that unhinged.
• 17:08
  Sir, just because the dog died in real life does not mean you have to kill
• 17:14
  the dog off in the movie, especially if you don't do anything with it.
• 17:21
  Ryan: true.
• 17:22
  Jon: kill the dog off goes and finds the dead dog.
• 17:25
  She screams she's upset for about two minutes and has
• 17:29
  no lasting trauma from that.
• 17:31
  The next time you see this little girl, she's running
• 17:34
  around the house happy as can be.
• 17:36
  Ryan: that's because she's got her best friend, Rory, which
• 17:39
  Jon: Well, yeah.
• 17:40
  Yeah.
• 17:40
  I.
• 17:41
  Ryan: She finds the music box and she sees him, and that's her, her new BFF.
• 17:47
  That's why, which.
• 17:49
  Jon: but that's my, that's my soapbox for tonight, I think, is you don't
• 17:53
  have to kill the dog off all the time.
• 17:56
  Like
• 17:56
  Kearns: No.
• 17:57
  Jon: number one.
• 17:58
  it bothers some people.
• 17:59
  It limits the amount of movies I can watch with Allison.
• 18:02
  'cause she will not watch a movie if the dog dies.
• 18:05
  a whole website for if the dog dies.
• 18:09
  Kearns: Oh, that's funny.
• 18:10
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 18:11
  Ryan: if, if you're going in that direction, creatively killing animals
• 18:14
  or even children, 'cause that's on that same level, I would even
• 18:19
  say like old, old people as well.
• 18:21
  'cause I did shed a tear when Martin Sheen dies in the departed.
• 18:25
  I,
• 18:25
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 18:26
  It's
• 18:26
  Ryan: feel
• 18:27
  Kearns: kind of funny how he dies though.
• 18:28
  He's like,
• 18:29
  Ryan: Well, I mean you flailing and then it's like, sorry, spoilers.
• 18:34
  Um, you should have seen that movie too.
• 18:36
  And the original Internal Affairs
• 18:38
  Kearns: I just rewatched it.
• 18:39
  I just rewatched.
• 18:40
  It's so good.
• 18:41
  Ryan: Oh, okay.
• 18:42
  I
• 18:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 18:42
  Ryan: You've seen Eternal Affairs.
• 18:44
  It's a great one too.
• 18:46
  Jon: That is good too.
• 18:47
  Yeah.
• 18:48
  Ryan: But did, did to do it.
• 18:49
  It just gives you shock value and it's like,
• 18:51
  Jon: Yeah.
• 18:52
  Ryan: And
• 18:53
  Jon: Yeah.
• 18:53
  Ryan: your memory whether it's good or bad.
• 18:56
  Jon: But again, it, it's another one of those cheap things that they
• 18:59
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 19:00
  Jon: the jump scare.
• 19:00
  You
• 19:01
  Kearns: to dig.
• 19:02
  Jon: if you're not gonna do anything with it, why do it?
• 19:06
  Kearns: Very rarely does it work in a way that's artistic too.
• 19:09
  Like Shutter Islands works very well with the killing the kids
• 19:13
  because it's interwoven of the story perfectly, and it's not, and
• 19:17
  it's gripping and it does get that grip, but it's not, it's done well.
• 19:23
  But when they just do that and they're just like the dead wife thing
• 19:26
  or they, they, the kid's going, or the, the killing the animals like
• 19:30
  I am legend leaned into it so heavy
• 19:32
  Ryan: Yep.
• 19:33
  Kearns: he kills Sam in that movie, he's like,
• 19:34
  Jon: spoilers.
• 19:35
  Kearns: yeah,
• 19:37
  Ryan: Well, you, if you get into it, the, um, there was a scene I noticed that
• 19:41
  was similar to Insidious, so I believe a year prior James Swan directed Insidious.
• 19:47
  Right?
• 19:48
  So scene with the tiptoes in the window and the kids running around, I
• 19:53
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 19:54
  Ryan: returned when they were plating.
• 19:55
  Um, hide and clap, hearing the children run and like that little
• 20:01
  like, jump scare with the clapping and.
• 20:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 20:04
  Ryan: Lead to the basement cellar.
• 20:06
  It gave me that insidious vibe.
• 20:08
  And I think that's why we were talking about how it, like some fans, horror
• 20:12
  fans can get both movies confused.
• 20:14
  'cause you both have Patrick Wilson in both of them as a leading
• 20:17
  actor, but also it's similar vibes with the ghost, the paranormal.
• 20:22
  Kearns: The aesthetics are very similar too.
• 20:25
  I know that they kind of go more seventies, but it is, a bit interesting.
• 20:29
  Uh, when you watch them side by side or whatever, that feels like the same movie.
• 20:33
  Ryan: Yes,
• 20:33
  Kearns: into each other a bit.
• 20:35
  Ryan: yes.
• 20:35
  They do
• 20:35
  Kearns: Um.
• 20:36
  Jon: just one more comment on, on this whole, it happened
• 20:40
  in real life element of this.
• 20:41
  There's a lot of other things that happened in real life attached
• 20:44
  to this story that they ignore.
• 20:46
  It also,
• 20:47
  Kearns: Oh, like say what?
• 20:48
  Jon: like,
• 20:49
  Kearns: John?
• 20:50
  Jon: maybe, maybe Ed Warren having a 40 year affair with a, a woman he met
• 20:56
  and started dating when she was 15.
• 21:00
  Kearns: I'm gonna say woman is a strong word.
• 21:01
  Jon: mean, 40 years later.
• 21:04
  She's a woman.
• 21:04
  She's not a woman when they meet.
• 21:06
  She's a 10th grader.
• 21:08
  Ryan: Now.
• 21:09
  Kearns: Yeah, it's wild.
• 21:10
  Ryan: was, uh, if you don't mind me adding, he was
• 21:12
  Kearns: Some Jerry Lee Lewis stuff right there.
• 21:15
  Oh, he was the bus driver
• 21:17
  Ryan: Uh,
• 21:18
  Kearns: dude.
• 21:19
  Ryan: Allegedly,
• 21:20
  Kearns: is.
• 21:23
  Jon: I mean, so.
• 21:25
  You know, they, this is where we get into about problems with the conjuring
• 21:29
  is, you know, you clean up the image of two very fraudulent human beings
• 21:36
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 21:37
  Ryan: yeah.
• 21:38
  Yeah.
• 21:38
  Kearns: And that's the snake oil salesman aspect of it.
• 21:40
  I, I can't stand frauds cannot stand them.
• 21:43
  Jon: yeah.
• 21:44
  And you allow them to clean their own images up, really, because Lorraine
• 21:49
  Warren had some level of control over how they were depicted in these movies.
• 21:56
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 21:57
  Ryan: which, it's that whole Hollywood glamor if you
• 21:59
  really look at it 'cause like.
• 22:01
  Even though they see the bad, it's that old
• 22:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 22:04
  Ryan: style of let's do the good stuff and we're gonna make
• 22:07
  more money doing the good stuff.
• 22:09
  Because if we show them at their worst, we're not gonna get two, three, and
• 22:13
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 22:14
  Ryan: And this whole universe,
• 22:15
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 22:16
  Kearns: It's.
• 22:17
  Ryan: over 700 million, I I've learned maybe, maybe more now
• 22:22
  Jon: I mean, I know Lorraine died in the last five or so years.
• 22:27
  Like she was alive for a lot of the, series coming out.
• 22:31
  I don't know if Ed was, I don't remember when he died,
• 22:34
  Ryan: I think he died beforehand, before
• 22:36
  Jon: I think he did too.
• 22:38
  like this is like their biggest payday as well.
• 22:44
  Is any
• 22:44
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 22:45
  Jon: in this movie, you know,
• 22:47
  Kearns: I think.
• 22:48
  Jon: you traveled around the world, paranormal, investigating things.
• 22:56
  Kearns: and you end up getting this folk hero sort of aspect of
• 22:59
  it because of it evolved from that.
• 23:01
  But this, that all started with just Hollywood's habit of lying
• 23:05
  Jon: Yeah.
• 23:06
  Kearns: Texas Chainsaw massacres based on a true story.
• 23:08
  It's based on the same story psychos based off of, which is based on the same
• 23:11
  story that, uh, which is the other one.
• 23:13
  There's another one, but they're all based on Ed Geen,
• 23:15
  Jon: Yeah,
• 23:16
  Kearns: is not even remotely close.
• 23:18
  It's not even remotely close.
• 23:20
  Ryan: we're getting a series on Ed too, by the way,
• 23:22
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 23:23
  Ryan: on, uh,
• 23:23
  Kearns: Good,
• 23:24
  Ryan: in September or
• 23:25
  Kearns: good deal.
• 23:26
  Ryan: so,
• 23:28
  Kearns: But yeah.
• 23:28
  Yeah, ed Dean's fun and everything, but he is not leather face.
• 23:31
  It's a whole, it's just annoying.
• 23:32
  So that like little white lie misleading thing just is how this Warren thing
• 23:37
  started and then they became a cash cow, so they just ran with it.
• 23:41
  Jon: and just with a little, like at Threads, two of their most famous
• 23:48
  cases unravel, you know, Annabelle,
• 23:51
  Ryan: Yep.
• 23:52
  Jon: if you, if you really start digging and pulling on that, you find,
• 23:57
  and you don't have to go very far.
• 23:59
  Twilight's own episode 1 26.
• 24:01
  The Living Doll is almost the exact same story as Annabel.
• 24:07
  Ryan: Which thinking about it, it is
• 24:09
  Jon: And you know, we're not talking about like some.
• 24:14
  Unknown TV show it Twilight's Own was maybe not.
• 24:20
  The popularity it has now was a pretty well-known show.
• 24:24
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 24:25
  Jon: It's not like it's, it's not really feasible to believe that.
• 24:30
  That just skipped past Ed.
• 24:33
  Kearns: no,
• 24:33
  Ryan: absolutely
• 24:34
  Kearns: definitely.
• 24:35
  Ryan: At
• 24:36
  Jon: then the other one,
• 24:37
  Ryan: I was gonna say, I believe Ed was definitely a Twilight
• 24:39
  zone guy and a dark shadows guy.
• 24:42
  Jon: Probably.
• 24:43
  Ryan: who is not only, uh, like he's, he, he's on two sites of a coin.
• 24:48
  He was a Catholic, but he loved the darkness of the paranormal.
• 24:52
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:53
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:53
  Kearns: He was successful for the same reason that 1-800-PSYCHICS
• 24:56
  was a, a success back in the day.
• 24:59
  People just wanna believe they just wanted X-Files,
• 25:02
  Ryan: I,
• 25:02
  Kearns: but they just wanna believe.
• 25:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 25:04
  Kearns: uh, ed tapped into it,
• 25:06
  Jon: Yep.
• 25:07
  Kearns: and that started out with, at the, county fairs and
• 25:10
  stuff like that with those people.
• 25:11
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 25:12
  Kearns: then some people grew and grew.
• 25:13
  And Ed Warren's an an example of that.
• 25:15
  Um, and Elizabeth Warren, his psychic wife.
• 25:18
  Jon: Yeah.
• 25:20
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 25:22
  Jon: yeah, it's, and you go to their set.
• 25:25
  Another one of their most famous cases, which they can't even bring into this
• 25:28
  franchise because everybody else's trampled the Amityville horror story.
• 25:34
  Ryan: Yep.
• 25:34
  Jon: But every, everybody involved in Amityville has admitted the hoax.
• 25:42
  The Lutz family admitted that they just sat and brainstormed some
• 25:46
  scary stories to put in a book.
• 25:49
  Um, Robert DeFeo, who, you know, it's all based on having killed
• 25:54
  his fa whole family in the house,
• 25:56
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 25:56
  Jon: he's admitted that he made that story up to try to get El on an insanity plea.
• 26:04
  So
• 26:05
  Kearns: that's fun.
• 26:05
  Jon: everybody involved in, in, in all these.
• 26:08
  So either the Warrens willingly helped create and perpetuate a lie, or were
• 26:15
  just so self-involved in their own fraud that they couldn't separate and just
• 26:23
  Kearns: Lost in the sauce, baby.
• 26:25
  Jon: just
• 26:26
  Kearns: they totally were.
• 26:27
  They were.
• 26:28
  they became so self-important and they started to believe the lie a little bit
• 26:32
  or at least got caught up in the act.
• 26:34
  That's more, that seems to jive more.
• 26:37
  Ryan: they hint at it in one of the scenes when they go to that couple's
• 26:41
  house it's just the water pipes and stuff.
• 26:44
  And they're like, they seem disappointed, but they're
• 26:46
  like, yeah, it's, it's nothing.
• 26:48
  Definitely at the end.
• 26:49
  And they cut too soon.
• 26:50
  He's definitely asking him for like a check for a certain amount of money.
• 26:54
  didn't go there for free.
• 26:56
  Jon: no.
• 26:56
  Like, I mean, what, what, you see in the movie outta them is like
• 27:03
  Kearns: It's philanthropic sort of thing.
• 27:05
  Yeah.
• 27:06
  Jon: But how much money was in paranormal investigating in the seventies?
• 27:11
  Ryan: That's
• 27:11
  Jon: en enough, to live in Connecticut comfortably.
• 27:19
  Ryan: I mean, forget the seminars.
• 27:22
  seminars did they do
• 27:23
  Jon: Yeah.
• 27:24
  Ryan: were they getting paid on that?
• 27:26
  Jon: many young girls did Ed meet at seminars?
• 27:28
  I,
• 27:30
  Ryan: Did he drive a bus?
• 27:30
  There is the question.
• 27:33
  Jon: I mean at that 1, 1, 1.
• 27:37
  he's doing the seminars, he doesn't need a bus.
• 27:39
  All he has to do is show up at those and I'm sure,
• 27:43
  Kearns: Yeah, exactly.
• 27:46
  Jon: okay.
• 27:46
  Kearns: But let's circle back into the movie.
• 27:48
  I, I'm loving the war in hate, but,
• 27:50
  Jon: I,
• 27:50
  Kearns: but
• 27:51
  Jon: enough, I think
• 27:52
  Kearns: for, at least for now,
• 27:54
  Jon: for
• 27:54
  Kearns: it's, that was about eight solid minutes of hate.
• 27:56
  It was pretty good.
• 27:57
  Hate.
• 27:57
  So, so
• 27:59
  Ryan: is out there now.
• 28:01
  Kearns: in the movie, once the, incident that causes them to flip out the most is
• 28:05
  the, um, the father isn't even home and it's when they're playing hide and clap.
• 28:11
  Um, in the, are they even playing?
• 28:13
  No, the wardrobe is screwing around with them.
• 28:15
  At that point.
• 28:16
  They've already played hide and clap.
• 28:18
  Jon: mom and April, were playing hide and clap.
• 28:20
  Kearns: Oh, okay.
• 28:21
  And then the other three are upstairs, and then the wardrobe scares.
• 28:24
  The door closes and locks them in.
• 28:27
  And they, they all, hell goes, it breaks loose, right?
• 28:29
  Ryan: April was sleeping.
• 28:31
  She hears something downstairs, the mother of them
• 28:34
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 28:34
  Ryan: it sound like they're playing hide and clap, but it's the ghost 'cause
• 28:38
  she gets, um, knocked into the cellar and all that and that's when that whole
• 28:42
  clap clapping happens in the dark.
• 28:44
  And,
• 28:44
  Kearns: that, that's a good one.
• 28:46
  That's a good scare, by the way.
• 28:47
  Jon: thinking of the scene where she and she and the little one are
• 28:50
  playing and she's outside the armoire and the armoire is clapping, but the
• 28:55
  Kearns: That's the first time you see the hands.
• 28:57
  Yeah.
• 28:58
  Ryan: in my opinion.
• 28:59
  That was the scene that I felt like was very comparable
• 29:02
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:03
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:03
  Ryan: windows in the background.
• 29:05
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 29:06
  Jon: But I, I think one of the most effective things they do in this movie
• 29:10
  is they just sort of gradually, everybody sees different things at different times,
• 29:17
  which sort of makes it more frightening.
• 29:21
  Like
• 29:21
  Kearns: Yeah, because nobody's on the same page.
• 29:23
  Jon: dad, dad's sort of like not seeing much of anything
• 29:26
  except his family freaking out.
• 29:29
  Kearns: Right.
• 29:29
  And he has no idea what's going on.
• 29:31
  Jon: you get the one feeling the hands on her legs and then getting
• 29:35
  yanked out of her bed and seeing
• 29:38
  Kearns: That scene sucks too.
• 29:40
  I forgot.
• 29:40
  In a good way.
• 29:41
  Yeah.
• 29:41
  That scene is a freaky scene.
• 29:43
  I forgot about that.
• 29:44
  Jon: Yeah.
• 29:44
  She,
• 29:45
  Kearns: Um,
• 29:46
  Jon: into that corner and nobody else can see anything.
• 29:50
  Ryan: It's,
• 29:51
  Kearns: yeah.
• 29:51
  Ryan: it's a shiver, a shiver down the spine.
• 29:54
  And the, the father, he does get an encounter.
• 29:56
  It's not as bad with the door, like swinging open
• 29:59
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 30:00
  Ryan: and
• 30:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 30:02
  Ryan: but he also gets to encounter the birds flying into the house as well, which
• 30:07
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 30:07
  That's fun.
• 30:07
  Ryan: a
• 30:08
  Jon: Yeah.
• 30:08
  Yeah.
• 30:08
  Ryan: right there.
• 30:10
  Kearns: They did that in the third kind or the fourth kind with the birds flying into
• 30:13
  the house, and I enjoyed that quite a bit.
• 30:16
  I always define that to be like the, archetype for, oh
• 30:19
  no, bad things are happening.
• 30:21
  Birds are kamika into my home.
• 30:23
  Jon: And listen, listen,
• 30:24
  Kearns: I.
• 30:25
  Jon: I don't love killing the bird that much either, but
• 30:27
  at least it's more ominous.
• 30:30
  Kearns: It is a dinosaur.
• 30:31
  Jon: Yeah.
• 30:31
  Kearns: it's not a mammal.
• 30:32
  It's easier to let it go.
• 30:34
  Ryan: been
• 30:34
  Kearns: It's a step away.
• 30:36
  Doggies and kitties though.
• 30:37
  No, no, no.
• 30:38
  Jon: No.
• 30:38
  Kearns: But so, and the, Warrens get called in.
• 30:41
  They, ride a wave of self-righteousness into the house
• 30:44
  and immediately she gets her psychic.
• 30:46
  Ah,
• 30:47
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 30:47
  Kearns: ah.
• 30:48
  And they, incite some events and they're like, yeah, you got, you got
• 30:51
  yourselves a, uh, what do they call it?
• 30:54
  They didn't call it a poulter guys.
• 30:55
  They called it a something.
• 30:56
  Ryan: demon,
• 30:56
  Kearns: a term for it in the movie,
• 30:58
  Ryan: right?
• 30:59
  Kearns: maybe
• 31:00
  Jon: called it a demon that was
• 31:01
  Kearns: of demon.
• 31:02
  Jon: to the family.
• 31:03
  They
• 31:03
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 31:04
  Jon: leave it's gonna follow them.
• 31:07
  Ryan: Again,
• 31:08
  Kearns: that was a big one.
• 31:08
  And, and there's the Discovery Channel movie that came out a long time ago.
• 31:12
  It's called The Haunting, I think.
• 31:14
  Ryan: Yes.
• 31:14
  Kearns: And that one, the family at the end moves outta the house
• 31:18
  and they move to another house.
• 31:19
  And then you find out that it, they were followed,
• 31:22
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:23
  Kearns: them to the new house.
• 31:24
  And that's the end of the movie.
• 31:25
  That's a good one too.
• 31:26
  If you haven't seen that, that's a good watch.
• 31:28
  It's probably based on the Warrens too.
• 31:30
  Who knows?
• 31:30
  But, but yeah, so the same vibe here that it's attached to your family.
• 31:35
  You can't get away from it, even though you moved into the house
• 31:37
  and it got you in the house.
• 31:38
  It's attached to the family.
• 31:40
  So the Warrens are shaking 'em down and, uh, we're being biased.
• 31:44
  I'm sorry.
• 31:45
  Ryan: They have the
• 31:45
  Kearns: And now it'd be a good time for another review if you got one.
• 31:50
  Jon: I do have one more, one star,
• 31:54
  Ryan: Ooh, one more.
• 31:57
  Jon: one more.
• 31:57
  I only put Dug out four, but this movie is very disappointing with the killing.
• 32:03
  Very weird.
• 32:05
  It will be one of the worst movies of all time for me.
• 32:09
  I don't know why.
• 32:11
  It's horrible.
• 32:12
  One of the very reasons why I think this is disappointing.
• 32:16
  So you didn't know, but now you have an
• 32:18
  Kearns: Now he's got it very reasons.
• 32:20
  Jon: is because comma of the plot twist, but I would rate it one.
• 32:27
  One because it was so mid.
• 32:29
  I'm sorry though.
• 32:31
  Kearns: So mid, I'm sorry though.
• 32:32
  Jon: why I'm saying sorry,
• 32:34
  Kearns: So now we know this is a younger person.
• 32:36
  I thought this was like an older person with traumatic brain injury.
• 32:39
  Listen.
• 32:40
  Listen to you little COVID kids that didn't learn grammar.
• 32:42
  You don't put a comma after, because in that context, because it's a
• 32:47
  subordinating conjunction, you don't need the comma because it's not
• 32:50
  connecting the clauses in the same way.
• 32:52
  A coordinating conjunction.
• 32:54
  What?
• 32:54
  Jon: Listen
• 32:55
  Kearns: Read a book.
• 32:56
  Jon: Listen
• 32:56
  Kearns: a book.
• 32:56
  Jon: teacher, let me send you the actual texts of some of these
• 33:01
  reviews that I'm pulling out.
• 33:02
  You may have a stroke.
• 33:03
  Kearns: I read them.
• 33:04
  I read them on good reads and stuff all the time.
• 33:06
  Some of them are on my books.
• 33:09
  Read the veil, buy it, everybody, but yeah.
• 33:12
  Jon: There's period in that whole first paragraph of that
• 33:16
  Kearns: my stream of consciousness review.
• 33:18
  Ryan: comma
• 33:19
  Kearns: That review.
• 33:20
  So it kind of goes, flies in the face of sort of what we think,
• 33:23
  which is that the movie is a, as a fictional story, not based on real
• 33:27
  people who weren't these people.
• 33:29
  The Warrens in the movie, the Real Ed and Elizabeth Warren.
• 33:32
  Um, we think the movie is well done as a horror film and it's
• 33:35
  good, it's got great scares.
• 33:36
  The lead up to the scares is good.
• 33:38
  They, they set the atmosphere, like John was saying earlier, they keep
• 33:41
  you on your toes and off balance 'cause nobody knows what's going on.
• 33:44
  At the same time, the family's not unified for the first 45 to an hour maybe.
• 33:48
  Ryan: no.
• 33:49
  Kearns: Um, it takes a while and the movie remains frightening and
• 33:53
  scary throughout until it's over.
• 33:55
  And if it was just one movie, I would think of the Conjuring a lot more fondly.
• 33:59
  But it turned into this, and I don't wanna get into this yet 'cause we gotta
• 34:02
  finish the first movie, but it turned into this whole franchise of Magoo
• 34:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:06
  Kearns: I just can't stand it.
• 34:08
  Jon: And listen, I think for me, if the paranormal investigators in this
• 34:12
  movie were Ned and Gloria Watson.
• 34:16
  Kearns: Aw,
• 34:16
  Jon: Yeah.
• 34:18
  Estefan,
• 34:19
  Kearns: Stefan.
• 34:20
  Jon: Ned and Gloria Estefan, I would think differently of it because
• 34:23
  it's not, caching in on a fraud.
• 34:27
  Kearns: Ned.
• 34:28
  Ned.
• 34:29
  I feel it.
• 34:32
  I feel it.
• 34:32
  What's a glorious Stefan song?
• 34:34
  I I threw a blank
• 34:36
  Jon: I am too.
• 34:38
  The rhythm is gonna get you Is that
• 34:40
  Kearns: head.
• 34:41
  Jon: and
• 34:41
  Kearns: The rhythm,
• 34:42
  Jon: ya?
• 34:43
  Kearns: the, the Demon is gonna get, the demon is gonna, there, it's coming
• 34:48
  out of the dark, is another one.
• 34:50
  And, and boy.
• 34:52
  Oh, the, who does Conga.
• 34:54
  Jon: Yeah,
• 34:54
  Kearns: does Conga.
• 34:56
  Jon: That's right.
• 34:58
  Kearns: Okay.
• 34:58
  Back to the horror films.
• 35:00
  Uh, let's, let's wrap up the first movie and then continue
• 35:03
  crapping on the warrants.
• 35:05
  Ryan: So,
• 35:05
  Kearns: the, what happens at the end?
• 35:08
  Ryan: well, I was gonna say the warrants find out with the assistant
• 35:11
  Drew Thomas and Officer Brad Hamilton.
• 35:14
  they need a police officer just in case.
• 35:16
  Um, anything happens.
• 35:18
  They find
• 35:19
  Kearns: Shoot the ghost
• 35:22
  Ryan: this is,
• 35:23
  Kearns: and report on it if anything goes down Like the Exorcist.
• 35:27
  Ryan: All right.
• 35:27
  This
• 35:28
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 35:29
  Ryan: Um, they find out that they're haunted by a witch in Saint
• 35:32
  Nest named Bathsheba Sherman, a
• 35:37
  Jon: Yep.
• 35:37
  Ryan: of Marytown Easty, who sacrificed her weak old baby to the
• 35:41
  devil and killed herself in 1863 at 3 0 7 in the morning after cursing
• 35:46
  Kearns: you don't wanna do that.
• 35:47
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 35:48
  Kearns: Fun, fun fact.
• 35:49
  By the way, that's Casey Anthony's great aunt.
• 35:52
  You did know
• 35:53
  Ryan: I did not.
• 35:54
  Kearns: you did not
• 35:55
  Jon: and they, they, you know, they also have to tie it
• 35:57
  into the Salem Witch trials.
• 35:59
  Ryan: Yep.
• 36:00
  Kearns: Of course.
• 36:01
  Jon: you know,
• 36:02
  Kearns: Because we gotta validate that and definitely make
• 36:04
  Jon: creepy has to get tied in.
• 36:07
  Kearns: I guess it's not a genocide, but thinking of the
• 36:09
  Jon: that
• 36:09
  Kearns: murder.
• 36:10
  Jon: it was a land grab.
• 36:12
  Kearns: Yes.
• 36:13
  It's, it was bad.
• 36:14
  It was bad.
• 36:16
  they end up having, the bodies are under the home, right?
• 36:18
  Earth and floor, that kind of thing.
• 36:20
  They have to get them out and exhume them.
• 36:22
  And then is it Ed and Elizabeth who take the power away from the bad things?
• 36:27
  I forget how it goes
• 36:28
  Jon: and Lorraine.
• 36:29
  Uh,
• 36:30
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 36:31
  Kearns: Oh, it's Lorraine.
• 36:32
  Jon: Lorraine,
• 36:33
  Kearns: Elizabeth, the whole podcast,
• 36:35
  Ryan: No, you're okay.
• 36:36
  You were think you're, you're, you know, you had us, Fred
• 36:39
  Jon: I'd like it better if that was her name
• 36:41
  Ryan: Elizabeth.
• 36:42
  I'm coming for you.
• 36:43
  Kearns: Elizabeth.
• 36:43
  I'm gonna have to, I thought it was Ed and Elizabeth Warren.
• 36:46
  I'm gonna have to go back and change out every one of them too.
• 36:49
  It's gonna be fun.
• 36:50
  Ryan: no,
• 36:50
  Kearns: So,
• 36:51
  Ryan: leave it.
• 36:51
  And it can catch how many times he sent Elizabeth
• 36:55
  Kearns: you know what I'll do?
• 36:56
  I'll just use a AI robot to say the word Elizabeth, and I'll put that
• 36:59
  into each one of the audio bits.
• 37:01
  It'll take me hours, but I'll do it for the love of the game, Elizabeth.
• 37:06
  Jon: Yeah.
• 37:06
  Kearns: Um.
• 37:08
  So, yeah, Lorraine gets it done
• 37:09
  Jon: yeah.
• 37:10
  Kearns: Crawling down there.
• 37:12
  Jon: Carolyn's, Carolyn, the mom is fully possessed and is gonna take April
• 37:16
  and kill her just like Beth Sheba did.
• 37:19
  You know, the whole curse is just gonna gonna play out again.
• 37:23
  Kearns: That's Sheba.
• 37:24
  Ryan: and I'll say this, uh, Lily Taylor, who plays Carolyn,
• 37:28
  a awesome actress, and same thing
• 37:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:31
  Ryan: the actor who plays, uh, Ron Livingston, who plays Roger Perrin.
• 37:35
  There we go.
• 37:36
  Uh, another good actor, two
• 37:37
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 37:37
  Ryan: actors who are showcasing this film.
• 37:40
  I appreciated that
• 37:41
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:43
  Ryan: in
• 37:43
  Jon: Again, like I have very little issue with the movie itself.
• 37:48
  It's well acted, it's well put together.
• 37:51
  They do a really nice job with it.
• 37:53
  Ryan: background
• 37:54
  Jon: the ones,
• 37:55
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 37:56
  Jon: yeah,
• 37:56
  Ryan: that does
• 37:56
  Jon: yeah,
• 37:57
  Kearns: Oh yes, very much so.
• 37:59
  And that's kinda why we can't like get behind, like I do think
• 38:02
  Insidious is marginally better.
• 38:04
  Um, the Insidious franchise isn't, both franchises suck.
• 38:08
  I think there's, I think as soon as it goes in a movie too, it
• 38:11
  drops significantly and then after that it just, it gets so bad.
• 38:15
  Ryan: Halloween
• 38:16
  Kearns: just get so bad.
• 38:18
  Jon: Annabel
• 38:19
  Kearns: them.
• 38:20
  Jon: Origins.
• 38:21
  The nun.
• 38:22
  The nun
• 38:22
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 38:23
  Jon: and I mean,
• 38:26
  Kearns: they just come up with a new movie.
• 38:28
  Jon: Yeah.
• 38:28
  Kearns: That's why Ron Perlman's doing Waterfall.
• 38:30
  'cause nobody's doing any, you know what was great when you did the first
• 38:32
  Conjuring and the movie Insidious and everybody was like, cool, make original
• 38:36
  concepts based on that vibe instead of just running through the franchise thing.
• 38:42
  It's just so annoying.
• 38:43
  Ryan: did, he did try the same vibe in a movie called Malignant
• 38:47
  and it wasn't, it wasn't good.
• 38:49
  Kearns: Malignant was terrible.
• 38:51
  Malignant wasn't the same vibe at all, was it?
• 38:53
  Ryan: he was trying to capture that similar
• 38:56
  Kearns: Oh
• 38:56
  Ryan: nail it.
• 38:57
  No, he did not nail it.
• 38:58
  Kearns: no.
• 38:58
  He was trying to like make her into a tumor and it was so bad.
• 39:02
  He was, he's hammering you over the head that it was cancer.
• 39:05
  The camera angles and stuff couldn't be more different than
• 39:08
  the conjuring the way he like would do the drop cameras and stuff.
• 39:11
  It looked like, I thought I was gonna have a seizure watching that movie.
• 39:14
  And it was, the voice was the worst part.
• 39:16
  The voice of the thing.
• 39:17
  And we have to do malignant just for me to shit on malignant.
• 39:19
  Ryan: I can't wait to shit on that movie.
• 39:21
  'cause I was so excited to watch it and that plot
• 39:23
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 39:24
  It was the pandemic.
• 39:25
  Ryan: Yep.
• 39:25
  Kearns: We were like, we were like, yeah, resident Evil two remake and malignant.
• 39:29
  Let's do this.
• 39:31
  Resident Evil two remake held up
• 39:33
  Jon: That
• 39:33
  Kearns: Did not,
• 39:34
  Ryan: Yeah, I
• 39:34
  Kearns: did not.
• 39:36
  So at least we got our little heart keys.
• 39:39
  We were running around getting killed by liquors, but malignant sucked.
• 39:43
  Uh, but yeah.
• 39:44
  And.
• 39:45
  Actually that, that kind of kills my argument of like, try something new.
• 39:48
  But some of 'em are gonna be duds and I know studios are afraid of losing money.
• 39:51
  Malignant was definitely a loser.
• 39:53
  Big time loser too.
• 39:55
  Jon: did it though.
• 39:56
  'cause I, I feel
• 39:57
  Kearns: It was straight to stream.
• 39:58
  Jon: out and, but it
• 40:00
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 40:00
  Jon: 2020, so there wasn't theater.
• 40:04
  Kearns: Right.
• 40:04
  So everybody had to, everybody had to kind of take an LI would've been pissed
• 40:13
  if we spent money to see that movie
• 40:14
  Jon: Oh, seriously.
• 40:15
  Kearns: wasn't just on my screen.
• 40:18
  Back to Tiger King.
• 40:20
  But yeah,
• 40:21
  Jon: I,
• 40:22
  Kearns: um, yeah,
• 40:23
  Jon: I am
• 40:24
  Kearns: sorry.
• 40:25
  Jon: so glad.
• 40:25
  My 2020 binging was so off the beaten path.
• 40:31
  Kearns: I'm sure it was,
• 40:32
  Ryan: Did you
• 40:32
  Kearns: watch Tiger King to be fair.
• 40:35
  Ryan: it.
• 40:36
  Jon: two series I, the two series I binged during COVID were coach and Barney Miller.
• 40:44
  Kearns: I mean, that's pretty, you know, that would've made me feel better.
• 40:47
  That's like we watch Boy Meets World with the kids and I just feel the vibe
• 40:51
  from that show like leaching into my children and I'm so cool with that.
• 40:56
  Coach is like what you needed during the pandemic.
• 40:58
  The world is ending, but we're all stuck inside where it's safe.
• 41:01
  And here's Coach.
• 41:04
  You should have been watching Airplane too, right?
• 41:06
  Afterward.
• 41:07
  Jon: I mean, I mean, and like there were just so many, the coach
• 41:10
  is just such goofy fun that it was perfect for that time period.
• 41:14
  And Barney Miller really falls into that too with, know, sort of
• 41:19
  the added older image of police officers, you know, benevolent and
• 41:27
  kind, and really trying to help.
• 41:30
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 41:31
  Jon: was a, it was a,
• 41:32
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 41:33
  Jon: it was a nice experience.
• 41:35
  I
• 41:35
  Kearns: I did do some horror movies and stuff.
• 41:37
  I read a lot, but wrote a lot.
• 41:39
  But the, viewing stuff, the movies were pretty disappointing.
• 41:43
  I can't think of anything good that hit during that stream Straight to Stream era.
• 41:48
  Ryan: No,
• 41:49
  Kearns: They had the, I think a Godzilla movie came out that sucked,
• 41:53
  Ryan: yep.
• 41:53
  Kearns: uh, legendaries, those movies.
• 41:57
  I went to see the most recent one with some friends.
• 41:59
  and the legendary Godzilla movies are dead to me.
• 42:02
  they're just superhero movies at this point.
• 42:04
  I can't wait for minus, what is it gonna be, minus
• 42:06
  Ryan: Minus,
• 42:07
  Kearns: or minus two?
• 42:08
  Ryan: nah, I minus negative zero.
• 42:12
  Kearns: It might be, I know that they're going to, their, their um, campaign that
• 42:18
  they're doing with Southeast Asia is going to be based or is going to be for minus
• 42:24
  one, the minus one franchise of Godzilla.
• 42:27
  But they're having Shin Godzilla two as well is coming out, which
• 42:30
  I'm more excited for, to be honest.
• 42:32
  Even though,
• 42:33
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 42:33
  Kearns: even though minus one was great, hin was also great.
• 42:37
  Jon: Yeah.
• 42:37
  Kearns: But anyway,
• 42:38
  Ryan: like that where he
• 42:40
  Kearns: only we could get into Kaiju during the Conjuring episode.
• 42:43
  I suck.
• 42:44
  But anyway.
• 42:45
  Anyway, Kai, number eight's also a decent watch.
• 42:48
  But anyway, um, yeah, so back to, yeah, definitely me cry
• 42:53
  Ryan: finished
• 42:54
  Kearns: back to,
• 42:54
  Ryan: today.
• 42:55
  Kearns: I guess we should wrap it up 'cause that's about
• 42:56
  all we got to say about that.
• 42:58
  Conjuring.
• 42:59
  Jon: much.
• 43:00
  Kearns: That's the conjuring everybody.
• 43:02
  There's another one coming out soon.
• 43:03
  You bastards don't, don't give them your money,
• 43:05
  Ryan: Next next
• 43:06
  Kearns: you give your.
• 43:07
  Jon: We know you're going to, you know, but go a, you know, if you're gonna
• 43:11
  give 'em your money, you go in with, you know, a critical mind and understand,
• 43:17
  Kearns: reviews with proper grammar
• 43:19
  Jon: load us up, load up the one star reviews so that when this is
• 43:23
  out on home video, we can, we have
• 43:26
  Kearns: or,
• 43:26
  Jon: go on.
• 43:27
  Kearns: or maybe it's good.
• 43:28
  Maybe it'll be like the best one in the franchise and I'll be happy for them.
• 43:32
  Ryan: I mean,
• 43:33
  Kearns: I don't want it to fail, but I think if it's a failure
• 43:35
  of a movie, I want it to fail.
• 43:36
  And the last four have been,
• 43:38
  Ryan: I like with the trailer, it's showing their end.
• 43:42
  Less people are going to their seminars.
• 43:44
  They're falling from like eyesight of like who were interested in
• 43:50
  their investigations and stuff, and now it's all fallen apart
• 43:53
  and it's actually covering that.
• 43:55
  So that's interesting.
• 43:56
  Especially that
• 43:57
  Kearns: hmm.
• 43:58
  Jon: because
• 43:59
  Ryan: if,
• 43:59
  Jon: in in, their time they were debunked by a lot of people.
• 44:06
  It, you know, the, this, this modern view of them is really
• 44:11
  centered on the conjuring movies.
• 44:13
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 44:15
  Ryan: Yep.
• 44:16
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 44:16
  Ryan: Interweaving with other stories, which I, I don't know
• 44:20
  how l enough fits into it.
• 44:23
  Don't know how.
• 44:25
  Kearns: Wherever they, the screenwriters make it fit.
• 44:27
  Jon: Yeah,
• 44:28
  Kearns: That's gonna be the way it goes.
• 44:30
  Ryan: Fair.
• 44:31
  Kearns: hey, top fives everybody.
• 44:32
  Jon: about fives.
• 44:34
  Kearns: Top fives.
• 44:34
  Ryan: I'm going
• 44:35
  Kearns: Top fives.
• 44:36
  Ryan: James Juan Projects, which means he either
• 44:39
  Kearns: If
• 44:39
  Ryan: and
• 44:40
  Kearns: malignant is in this, I swear to God or the whole.
• 44:44
  Ryan: tonight everybody.
• 44:45
  Um, so we're gonna start off with number five.
• 44:50
  Um, James Juan wrote the story as well as produced.
• 44:53
  I do like it, I've grown fond of it.
• 44:55
  And it's 2 20, 20 twos Megan.
• 44:58
  Um,
• 44:59
  Kearns: Megan was okay.
• 45:00
  The sequel's coming out.
• 45:02
  Ryan: I,
• 45:03
  Kearns: Oh, it's out.
• 45:04
  Ryan: yeah, I was in a, I saw how they're taking the sequel.
• 45:07
  They're making it more into an action film.
• 45:09
  Um, the
• 45:10
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 45:10
  Megan's a hot robot with like an attitude now.
• 45:13
  Ryan: I, it just, no, like originally I didn't wanna watch it because I thought
• 45:17
  it was a Chucky ripoff and I hate those.
• 45:19
  And then I learned it was something else and Jada forced me to watch it.
• 45:23
  It was a Clockwork Orange style and I did enjoy it.
• 45:27
  thought it was, it was a different vibe.
• 45:29
  It was like comedy who, and it worked.
• 45:32
  And it showed that James won 'cause he's done like Insidious and saw
• 45:37
  and the Conjuring all this dark stuff, it shows that he's kind of
• 45:40
  have a light side horror and comedy.
• 45:43
  So it was nice to see that, um, on his end to which leads me to my number four.
• 45:48
  We have mentioned it before in the past, and that is saw the great,
• 45:53
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 45:55
  Ryan: Kerry
• 45:56
  Kearns: Saw one was also another great example of that being and
• 45:59
  saw two wasn't horrible either,
• 46:01
  Ryan: No,
• 46:02
  Kearns: wish they stopped it.
• 46:03
  I wish they stopped it there.
• 46:04
  Jon: Yeah.
• 46:05
  Kearns: I do.
• 46:05
  Ryan: the
• 46:06
  Jon: But, but that's, that's the issue with, you know, the
• 46:09
  major studio horror movies.
• 46:12
  You want 'em to do well, but then when they do well, you're, you know, you're
• 46:15
  gonna get 2, 3, 4, and five also.
• 46:18
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 46:19
  Ryan: Yep.
• 46:19
  Kearns: It's like the matrix should have stopped at the end of the Matrix.
• 46:22
  I know that each one is its own philosophical like leader or whatever
• 46:26
  lead and it's, there's a subtext of all, and I did see all three movies
• 46:31
  and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 46:32
  When you do that with Saw though, and you're just leading up to like Jigsaw,
• 46:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 46:36
  Kearns: having his grand fanatic just do that at the second movie.
• 46:40
  They couldn't have made a better first movie for sa.
• 46:42
  They just couldn't have
• 46:43
  Ryan: If he, if
• 46:44
  Kearns: Why do they ruin it?
• 46:45
  Ryan: they could have just ended with him walking out.
• 46:47
  Spoiler.
• 46:48
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 46:48
  Ryan: it's it, and I would've been satisfied with that.
• 46:52
  It's
• 46:52
  Kearns: sad.
• 46:52
  Way more satisfied.
• 46:54
  Ryan: Oh yeah.
• 46:56
  lifts.
• 46:56
  That's all I need to know.
• 46:57
  He's just missing
• 46:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:59
  Ryan: okay.
• 46:59
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 46:59
  Tourniquet was there.
• 47:00
  He's okay.
• 47:02
  Ryan: Well,
• 47:03
  Kearns: right.
• 47:03
  Ryan: number three, a lot of people needed a tourniquet in this film.
• 47:06
  And it's actually, we covered it a few episodes ago.
• 47:09
  It's produced by James won, um, directed by Osgood Perkins, as we've talked about.
• 47:16
  It's the monkey.
• 47:17
  That's number three.
• 47:18
  I do love the monkey.
• 47:19
  It's produced by James Juan, Stephen King.
• 47:23
  Uh, you just can't beat it.
• 47:24
  And
• 47:25
  Kearns: I should have known that that was produced by James Juan.
• 47:28
  It has his vibe.
• 47:29
  I didn't realize that.
• 47:30
  Ryan: the blood, the gore, and again, it has a little bit of that comedy
• 47:34
  element that he shows in Megan, it's
• 47:37
  Kearns: is a thing where he doesn't smooth his edges.
• 47:39
  I guess that's what I should say about him.
• 47:41
  It's not a bad thing, but, um, the monkey is a movie with
• 47:44
  non, with very like stark cuts
• 47:49
  Ryan: yes,
• 47:49
  Kearns: things like that.
• 47:50
  Juan doesn't endeavor to smooth the edges and flow like other
• 47:53
  directors and, and stuff too.
• 47:56
  Ryan: no.
• 47:56
  Kearns: that's, I don't know if, if anybody's gonna pick up what I'm saying
• 48:00
  or like it'll make sense to them, but that's the best way I can describe it.
• 48:04
  Ryan: like whether, whether he is directing or he's producing, you see that
• 48:09
  element of he brings to the table in that it's like watching Tarantino produce, um,
• 48:16
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 48:16
  Ryan: he produced?
• 48:16
  Hell Ride.
• 48:17
  It's, uh, directed, written by Larry Bishop.
• 48:20
  But you see that Tarantino style in it.
• 48:23
  And
• 48:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 48:24
  Ryan: with like Megan and um, the monkey is you see that James Juan style and it,
• 48:30
  and you're right, it is rough, but that's what makes it work in certain films.
• 48:34
  It's what makes it work.
• 48:35
  Um, but it's also how he matches with the colors and stuff.
• 48:39
  Because I feel like with Megan and stuff, you can see the sharp change, but it's
• 48:43
  also right in your face while with like Insidious or the Conjuring, it's rough,
• 48:47
  but it's like smooth, if that makes sense.
• 48:50
  'cause everything's like in the dark.
• 48:52
  And that leads to my number two 'cause there's a lot of rough.
• 48:55
  Sharp guts in this film.
• 48:57
  And that is Mortal Kombat, the 2021 edition.
• 49:00
  He did produce it and I'm happy he brought it back.
• 49:03
  I'll raise a flag the 1995 Mortal Kombat, which will lead me to a quick
• 49:08
  story where Kerns and I won Christmas.
• 49:11
  Did say we were gonna show the kids Mortal Kombat and
• 49:15
  Kearns: They got so mad at us.
• 49:16
  Ryan: yeah.
• 49:16
  'cause we showed 'em the original.
• 49:18
  They thought they were like, yeah, they all showed up to the room.
• 49:20
  They were like, we're gonna watch the new one.
• 49:21
  And then we put on the 19 95 1 and they,
• 49:24
  Kearns: They saw Goro and they were so mad.
• 49:27
  They were so mad.
• 49:29
  Oh, that was a good day.
• 49:30
  That was a good day.
• 49:31
  And I think I had to leave the room too, which made it even better.
• 49:33
  So I left Ryan in there with 20 of 'em
• 49:35
  Ryan: that's
• 49:36
  Kearns: pissed off.
• 49:36
  20.
• 49:37
  Ryan: Oh no,
• 49:38
  Kearns: Oh man.
• 49:39
  Ryan: it.
• 49:39
  I put on Princess Bread.
• 49:40
  I think I either put on
• 49:41
  Kearns: We put it, when we switched something, we, yeah, we
• 49:44
  switched it to something, but,
• 49:46
  Ryan: that
• 49:47
  Kearns: oh, it was good.
• 49:48
  Ryan: We've been talking about it all night and it's still creeps
• 49:50
  me out to this day, to the point where I'm never watching it alone.
• 49:53
  And that's insidious.
• 49:56
  I don't,
• 49:56
  Kearns: It's good.
• 49:57
  Ryan: I can't watch, Nope.
• 49:59
  I'll lock myself in a room.
• 50:00
  That movie PG 13 and creeps me the fuck out.
• 50:05
  Kearns: Yeah, insidious is a good, it's a well done movie.
• 50:10
  It's very good.
• 50:11
  Jon: And proof that you don't need the R to be scary.
• 50:15
  Ryan: No.
• 50:15
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 50:16
  Ryan: Nope.
• 50:17
  And there are jump scares in that with the
• 50:20
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 50:20
  Ryan: Demon and it works.
• 50:22
  And
• 50:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 50:23
  Ryan: again, subtle.
• 50:24
  But you, again, you talk and you got me focused on it.
• 50:27
  'cause you see the sharp changes, right?
• 50:30
  Those sharp cuts.
• 50:32
  But how he does it in each film, like Insidious, he does it where you can
• 50:37
  see the sharp but it's like hidden.
• 50:40
  Kearns: Right.
• 50:40
  Ryan: makes you want to like peer in more, especially the scene where
• 50:45
  he's in the bedroom and they're looking for the red demon on the wall
• 50:50
  and it's like crazy cuts and stuff.
• 50:53
  And then it slowly like focuses on the cabin and it flies.
• 50:59
  it works 'cause
• 51:00
  Kearns: does work.
• 51:01
  You're right.
• 51:02
  Ryan: it gets you in there and then boom.
• 51:04
  But I wanna hear your top five, John.
• 51:06
  I'm curious the way you went with it.
• 51:09
  Kearns: I wanna do a little glue to tie your top fives together.
• 51:11
  After that, I think insidious and sinister, did they, I don't know
• 51:15
  if both of them are within the, the 2010 to 2020 range or not, but
• 51:19
  Jon: I
• 51:19
  Kearns: I think they are.
• 51:20
  Jon: in.
• 51:21
  Kearns: I think they may be my favorite as far as well done horror
• 51:26
  films that, that tick the boxes the right way and just are good.
• 51:31
  They're just the best probably of the, of that timeframe Of the type
• 51:36
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 51:37
  Kearns: type, you know what I mean?
• 51:38
  The haunted house moving in kind of type.
• 51:41
  Um, and I like, I like sinister even more because it's got the,
• 51:45
  it's got the folk demon in it too.
• 51:48
  That's a cool idea where they do the deep dive and figure that out.
• 51:50
  But anyway, John, get after it.
• 51:52
  Jon: All right, so I'm gonna go back to 2013.
• 51:56
  We've, we already talked about the, the highest grossing movies of 20
• 52:00
  horror movies of 2013, and, you know, a lot of the hype movies,
• 52:05
  some sequels you had remakes.
• 52:07
  You, you also had a Texas chainsaw movie that year.
• 52:10
  You had a lot of that.
• 52:12
  But I wanted to try to highlight five movies from 2013 that're
• 52:16
  a little off the beaten path.
• 52:19
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 52:21
  Jon: So I'm gonna start with my number five as, uh, Joe
• 52:25
  and another Joe Beos movie.
• 52:27
  I don't think he's ever missed as a director.
• 52:31
  I, I, we really, uh, gotta start working some of his stuff in here.
• 52:34
  So my number five is almost human.
• 52:37
  Kearns: Oh,
• 52:38
  Ryan: Yep.
• 52:38
  That's a good
• 52:39
  Jon: Yeah.
• 52:41
  two years ago, Mark Fisher disappeared in a flash of blue light.
• 52:45
  Now a string of murders has led his friend Seth to believe that Mark
• 52:48
  is back and is not himself anymore.
• 52:53
  And all like this is, I think this is Bezos's first feature length film.
• 52:58
  And it, like, he's nailed it every time since too.
• 53:01
  so roll to number four, which is, um, bad Milo.
• 53:08
  Kearns: cool's an interesting title.
• 53:09
  Jon: It's an interesting movie.
• 53:11
  Ryan: is it a dog?
• 53:13
  Where's Otis?
• 53:14
  Jon: Oh no.
• 53:15
  Oh, it is not a dog.
• 53:16
  It is, it's something else.
• 53:19
  Um, Duncan is plagued by intestinal problems whenever he gets stressed.
• 53:25
  It's not an ulcer, however, but a demon that exes his body through
• 53:29
  his anus and starts to eliminate the sources of dunking stress
• 53:34
  Ryan: this have
• 53:35
  Kearns: Nice.
• 53:36
  Ryan: in it?
• 53:37
  Kearns: A vengeful turd that gets rid of my stress.
• 53:39
  That sounds great.
• 53:40
  Jon: it, right.
• 53:41
  It, it, it doesn't, but it's, it's got a really cool cast.
• 53:45
  I didn't take 'em all down, but there's like a lot of really, good
• 53:50
  people before they were really known.
• 53:51
  Um, Bree Larson is in it, not Brie Larson.
• 53:56
  Kearns: Speaking of vengeful turds,
• 53:59
  Jon: um, for, for number three, we're gonna go to Hong Kong
• 54:05
  Ryan: Uh oh.
• 54:06
  Kearns: oh.
• 54:07
  Jon: for a movie called Rigor Mortis.
• 54:09
  Ryan: I've heard of that.
• 54:11
  Jon: Such a good movie.
• 54:12
  Um, so Rigor Mortis is basically an homage to the Chinese vampire
• 54:17
  movies of the eighties, which
• 54:19
  Kearns: Oh, nice.
• 54:20
  Jon: now want to dig up and find.
• 54:22
  if they're all like this, if rigor mortis is like legitimately scary.
• 54:27
  Um, so the, this apartment complex is plagued by ghosts, vampires, zombies, and
• 54:32
  it just like the creepiest atmosphere.
• 54:35
  Kearns: Cool
• 54:37
  Ryan: I wanna
• 54:37
  Kearns: rigor mortis.
• 54:38
  Let's see where I can find it.
• 54:39
  Ryan: heard of the film.
• 54:40
  I don't know if, if it's from my father or from my Uncle Sal, but
• 54:45
  I have heard of that film And Hong Kong vampire films are creepy.
• 54:50
  to show 'em on IFC late at night.
• 54:53
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 54:54
  Ryan: lucky or something.
• 54:55
  Like they would show like Christopher Lee and Seven Golden
• 54:58
  Vampires or, you know what I mean?
• 55:00
  And then it would like get into like heavy stuff.
• 55:02
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:03
  Kearns: Criminally underrated Chinese horror movie.
• 55:06
  These Heba Wang, Chinese Grim Reapers.
• 55:10
  Interesting.
• 55:11
  And this one's spelled Rort Mortis, is it?
• 55:15
  Yeah.
• 55:15
  R-I-G-O-R.
• 55:16
  So the guy just got the title wrong.
• 55:18
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:20
  Kearns: Ror, not Rort.
• 55:21
  Everybody at the 2013.
• 55:24
  This movie came out in 2013.
• 55:26
  I thought it was older.
• 55:27
  Jon: No, there
• 55:28
  Kearns: Oh, look at the Monster
• 55:29
  Jon: probably, I think there is another rigor Mortis, an older one, and there
• 55:34
  was a, a metal band called Rigor Mortis.
• 55:36
  That was pretty
• 55:37
  Kearns: Rigor.
• 55:38
  2013 Streaming.
• 55:40
  Let's see if it's out there.
• 55:41
  Ryan: I was gonna say if there is an older one
• 55:43
  Kearns: Daily Motion's got the whole movie.
• 55:46
  Daily Motion's.
• 55:47
  Always good for that.
• 55:49
  I mean, you're not getting 4K, but I guess it's 2013.
• 55:52
  It's hd.
• 55:54
  10 80 p. Yeah, it's not a bad coffee.
• 55:57
  Um, everybody, YouTube don't get mad at me.
• 56:00
  But your competitor is added again.
• 56:03
  It's also on YouTube.
• 56:05
  The,
• 56:05
  Jon: Nice.
• 56:06
  Kearns: No, it's only 15 minutes.
• 56:07
  Nevermind.
• 56:07
  Jon: Yeah.
• 56:08
  Ryan: you can, you.
• 56:08
  Kearns: Uh, you can watch it ad free and uncut on shutter as well.
• 56:12
  Jon: Nice.
• 56:13
  Kearns: I would rent it for a dollar 99.
• 56:15
  Jon: It's worth
• 56:15
  Kearns: Patronize the art.
• 56:16
  Yeah,
• 56:17
  Jon: Alright.
• 56:19
  Number two is one of my favorite found footage movies, which is
• 56:24
  saying a lot because I don't generally like found footage.
• 56:27
  And it is WNUF Halloween Special.
• 56:33
  Kearns: WNF Halloween Special.
• 56:37
  Jon: It's, uh, so it's a found footage style horror comedy based
• 56:40
  around a Halloween TV show that heads to a haunted house with a, with a
• 56:45
  team of paranormal investigators.
• 56:48
  presented as if it's a found VHS recording off of tv.
• 56:53
  It, it's like an hour and a half of like the whole broadcast.
• 56:56
  So you get commercials mixed in.
• 56:59
  It's just, it's such a cool like retro experience that, you know,
• 57:03
  it'll definitely transport you back and it's really well done.
• 57:08
  Ryan: It's giving me like late night with the devil vibes, like,
• 57:12
  Jon: yeah, I can see that.
• 57:13
  Like, it's, it's lower budget.
• 57:15
  It's raw than, than that.
• 57:17
  And, you know, with the found footage, like it's, it's, it's like
• 57:21
  watching a VHS no matter what, what quality you actually find it in.
• 57:26
  It's very, a very VHS experience.
• 57:29
  Ryan: I see.
• 57:29
  I like that.
• 57:30
  I
• 57:31
  Jon: You know, you, you, you know, you, you know, something cool was coming
• 57:35
  on, so you pop the tape in and you push record and you're not gonna be home.
• 57:39
  So you're not like stopping and cutting the ads out.
• 57:42
  You're just, you're getting a, the whole broadcast.
• 57:46
  Ryan: that's cool.
• 57:47
  Jon: Yeah.
• 57:48
  Ryan: concept just to do that and have like
• 57:50
  Jon: Yeah.
• 57:51
  Ryan: But the question is, is would you have like fake commercials
• 57:55
  throughout or would they get demonic as the movie continued?
• 57:59
  Jon: No, they, it, it was, it's so, it's so cool that the commercials
• 58:04
  really foretell anything that was coming or really tie in.
• 58:09
  It was just like straight up, like, oh, I'm, I'm watching this scary movie.
• 58:13
  Oh, here's a Snickers commercial kind of feeling, you know?
• 58:16
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 58:17
  Ryan: I like that.
• 58:20
  Jon: And so we'll get to my number one,
• 58:22
  Kearns: which is it?
• 58:23
  Jon: which is my favorite found footage, movie of all time,
• 58:27
  Ryan: Witch.
• 58:28
  I'm
• 58:28
  Jon: Willow
• 58:29
  Kearns: No.
• 58:30
  Jon: which we
• 58:30
  Kearns: Creek is really good.
• 58:32
  Jon: which we, we
• 58:33
  Kearns: Willow Creek is really good
• 58:35
  Jon: within the last couple of episodes we talked about Willow Creek.
• 58:38
  It's written, written and directed by Bobcat Goldway.
• 58:43
  Which is just an awesome thing.
• 58:45
  If you remember Bobcat from the eighties and his police academy
• 58:49
  characters and the voice and
• 58:51
  Kearns: directed by him.
• 58:52
  That would be wild.
• 58:53
  And for the, for him to be the, the guy behind Willow Creek is, you wouldn't guess
• 58:58
  that at trivia night, that's for sure.
• 59:00
  Jon: So it's, I
• 59:00
  Kearns: I
• 59:01
  Jon: it's a couple going camping in known Bigfoot country in hopes
• 59:04
  of proving Bigfoot's existence.
• 59:07
  Maybe they, do
• 59:10
  Kearns: maybe they do.
• 59:11
  Jon: they prove something?
• 59:12
  Is there
• 59:14
  Kearns: I mean, it's in,
• 59:15
  Ryan: list.
• 59:16
  Kearns: it's a bunch of Long Islanders, um, getting killed up in
• 59:19
  the Finger Lake, so, uh, count me in.
• 59:22
  Ryan: Even better.
• 59:23
  Jon: Yep.
• 59:24
  Kearns: Yeah, I like that a lot.
• 59:26
  Ryan: Even better.
• 59:28
  Kearns: I.
• 59:29
  Ryan: Sorry.
• 59:29
  It's, it's an island.
• 59:31
  Kearns: Don't be sorry.
• 59:32
  Don't you be sorry, but it's a, it's a good watch.
• 59:34
  Uh, definitely compared to what you might think it would be, Bobcat
• 59:37
  Gold, weight, Bigfoot found footage, but for some reason everybody,
• 59:40
  Jon: works.
• 59:41
  Kearns: that's the, that's the winner.
• 59:43
  Jon: It
• 59:44
  Kearns: does,
• 59:45
  Ryan: It makes me
• 59:45
  Kearns: but All right, guys,
• 59:46
  Ryan: off like a Bigfoot costume and do his like classic bit for like five
• 59:50
  seconds, like bloopers at the end.
• 59:52
  I know
• 59:53
  Jon: A fire truck.
• 59:55
  Kearns: we're getting to the end here.
• 59:56
  Let's see.
• 59:56
  Ryan's gonna be on the top for this one.
• 59:58
  So John, and I'll be on the bottom.
• 1:00:00
  So I'm just gonna guess that I'm gonna go over here, go to those two
• 1:00:03
  videos over there for clowning a Cornfield and Piranha two you bastards.
• 1:00:08
  And watch those if you haven't watched them already, and
• 1:00:10
  we're getting outta here.
• 1:00:12
  Ryan: A good.
• 1:00:13
  Jon: See ya.
• 1:00:16
  Kearns: Bye.