Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Learn From a Failed Project
Transcript
- Lucas: So, you've just wrapped up a project that went sideways. The deadline slipped, the numbers were ugly, and your team is sitting in the post-mortem with that look that says 'please don't make this awkward.' For a new manager, these meetings can feel like walking a tightrope. Luna: Yeah, and honestly, most of the advice I've seen is either 'move on quickly' or 'do a retrospective and hope for the best.' Neither feels very useful. Lucas: Right, and that's what we're digging into today. Because here's the thing: a failed project is one of the richest learning opportunities you'll ever get as a manager. But only if you handle the post-mortem the right way. Luna: And if you're a new manager, this can feel like a make or break moment. I remember my first big failure, I was so scared of being judged that I barely listened to the feedback. Lucas: And that's exactly what we want to avoid. So let's start with a real example. In early 2020, a major tech company launched a new product that was widely panned. The reviews were bad, the sales were worse, and the team had to face the music. But the interesting part is what happened after that launch. Luna: What did they do? Lucas: The product lead didn't run for cover. Instead, they called a blameless post-mortem, and they made it a rule that no one could talk about 'who did what wrong.' The focus was entirely on the system, the processes, and the decisions that led to the outcome. Luna: A blameless post-mortem... that sounds great in theory, but how do you actually enforce it when you're a new manager and people are used to pointing fingers? Lucas: That's the million-dollar question, and we'll get to that in a second. But first, I want to mention something that's been on my mind. If you're listening and you've found this show useful, maybe it's helped you think through a career decision or given you a new perspective on managing your team—consider supporting us on buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small gesture that keeps this podcast ad-free and helps us keep bringing you conversations like this one. Luna: And honestly, it's because of listeners like you that we can dive deep into topics like this, without any corporate sponsors telling us what to say. Lucas: So think about it, and now let's get back to that blameless post-mortem. The key, as Luna said, is enforcement. And the answer is in the words you use. Instead of asking 'who dropped the ball?', you ask 'where did the process fail?' Luna: That's a subtle shift, but it changes the entire tone of the conversation. Lucas: Exactly. And the next step is to frame the post-mortem as a learning exercise, not a performance review. You're not there to evaluate individual contributions; you're there to understand the sequence of events and the environment that led to the failure. Luna: So what questions should a new manager be asking in that meeting? Lucas: Start with 'What were our assumptions at the beginning?' This gets people thinking about the initial conditions. Then ask 'What did we observe along the way that we ignored?' That's where the real insights hide. Luna: And what about the 'what went right' part? I've seen some teams skip that, but I think it's important to balance the negative. Lucas: Absolutely. You should always ask 'What went well?' because you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. And it also helps the team feel less defensive. Luna: So after you've had the conversation, what's the most important thing to do? Because I've been in post-mortems where we talked for an hour and then just went back to work. Lucas: That's the trap. The most important part is what happens after the meeting. You need to turn your findings into a short list of concrete actions. And you need to assign ownership. If there's no owner, there's no follow-through. Luna: And I'd add that you need to document those actions and put them somewhere visible. I've seen teams write them on a whiteboard and then erase them a week later. Lucas: Right, documentation is the difference between a learning moment and a missed opportunity. And the document doesn't have to be long. One page, with the key findings and the actions, is plenty. But it has to be shared with the whole team. Luna: So how do you handle it when someone on your team is still defensive, even after you've framed it as blameless? Lucas: That's a great question, and it's one of the hardest parts of being a new manager. The first thing to recognize is that defensiveness is a natural response. It's your job to create a safe space, but it's also your job to gently redirect the conversation. Luna: How would you redirect it? Lucas: You might say something like 'I hear that you're concerned about being blamed, and that's not what this is about. Let's focus on the system.' You have to model the behavior you want to see. Luna: And what if the failure was actually someone's fault? Like, they made a mistake that anyone would have avoided? Lucas: Look, if it was a truly egregious mistake, then it's a coaching conversation, not a post-mortem conversation. But in most cases, the root cause is a process gap, not a person gap. If you dig deep enough, you'll find that the system allowed the mistake to happen. Luna: That's a good point. I remember a project where we missed a major deadline, and it turned out the real issue was that no one had clearly defined what 'done' meant. It wasn't anyone's fault; it was a definition problem. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the kind of insight that can only come from a blameless post-mortem. If you're busy pointing fingers, you'll never get to the root cause. Luna: So what's the one thing you hope listeners take away from this episode? Lucas: For me, it's that failure is not the enemy. Failure is data. And as a manager, your job is to extract the lessons and make sure they're applied. That's how you turn a setback into a stepping stone. Luna: And maybe the other takeaway is that you have to be willing to look at your own role in the failure too. I've seen managers who are great at blaming the process, but they never ask what they could have done differently. Lucas: That's a crucial addition, Luna. In fact, the best post-mortems include a section on 'what will I do differently next time' from the manager themselves. It shows humility and sets the tone for the whole team. Luna: So, next time you're facing a failed project, don't run away. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow as a leader. Lucas: And if you do it right, you'll not only improve your team's performance, but you'll also build trust and resilience that will pay off in the long run. That's the kind of leadership that separates great managers from the rest.