Latest / In 9 Minutes / Comparison is a Thief

Transcript

Comparison is a Thief · In 9 Minutes

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: If you had a dollar for every time you heard yourself or someone else say I don't have time for that, you'd probably be rich.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I know life can feel like a circus, especially when you're trying to juggle it all, and I know what it's like to be pulled in a million different directions and to feel like there's never enough time to do all the things for all the people.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: But I really believe that what you want is possible.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It just requires some decision making and intentional action.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: You truly can't make time or find time.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: You have to set it apart, and I'll show you how to make big moves and take game changing action nine minutes at a time.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I'm Jennifer Seiss.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I love helping impact-oriented women run their home life and business, gain traction in their day to day and have more time with the people they love the most.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: My heart is to share what I've learned along the way and help you get more of what you want out of your life and work.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Every episode is designed to get you on your way to a quick win.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So grab your favorite beverage, pull up a chair and let's start making more of your time.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Hey there, and welcome to the In 9 Minutes podcast.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Jennifer Seiss, and I can't wait to connect with you for the next nine minutes.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Today I'm diving into a hot topic that'll come up more than once on the show for sure, because it comes up in conversation after conversation after conversation Comparison.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Comparison, in my opinion, is the thing that will keep you most stuck in your whole life, next to indecision.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: When you are always looking at what other people are doing, you are never present where you are, and when you are always looking at how other people are moming or coaching or teaching or leading or whatever, it keeps you from doing it out of your heart, out of a genuine, authentic place, because you are trying to mom, coach, teach, lead, serve or whatever.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Like other people, you lose sight of so much when you live in comparison.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard it said that comparison is the thief of joy, and Mark Twain said comparison is the death of joy.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: So, either way, the bottom line is that comparison steals joy.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Interestingly, though, if you look at the definition of the word compare, it means to estimate, measure or note the similarity or dissimilarity between, to point out the resemblances to, or draw an analogy between, one thing and another.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Get ready for this For the purpose of explanation or clarification.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And notice that it doesn't say for the purposes of tearing yourself down or measuring your worth or value, or for the purpose of making a decision on whether you should do something that is true to you or not.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: It never even mentions the word value.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Bob Goff has a quote that says we won't be distracted by comparison when we are captivated by purpose.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: When you know what your purpose is and you know what you're supposed to do, then you aren't going to get distracted by all the other things that other people are doing.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And when you find yourself in a state of wondering and wondering, I'd be willing to bet that it's because you are looking to the right and the left.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: If you aren't careful, comparison sneaks up on you.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And when your shoes start to feel like you have cinder blocks on them and what you're trying to do feels heavy and hard to do and walk through, the chances are you are trying to wear someone else's shoes and do something the way someone else should be doing it, instead of the way you are meant to do it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Definition can be really disruptive and distracting and unless we nip comparison in the bud, it can become a reflex.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: By definition, a reflex is an action that is performed as a response to a stimulus and without conscious thought.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: In the case of comparison I'm referring to today, the stimulus is seeing people in places we think we want to be or should be doing what we want to do or having what we think we want to have.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we don't even realize we are comparing ourselves to someone or something that we wouldn't even look to for inspiration if we took enough of a beat and some time to think about what we actually want or who we want to be, and our comparison is often based on an illusion of what we think is really happening.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: So often, comparison can drive your dreams right off of a cliff because you can get so caught up in what has been possible for other people and, instead of doing what it takes for you to get where you want to go, you get stuck in comparison.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a corporate CEO, an entrepreneur, a business owner, getting distracted by comparison when you are chasing someone else's purpose instead of living out your own can happen in the blink of an eye.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: When you focus on what other people are doing and compare yourself to them, you get distracted, distracted from the purpose work that has been specifically designed for you.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You have a purpose that simply cannot be compared to anyone else.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You bring things to the table that no one else can possibly bring, because you were created to do it, not them.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I have a sneaking suspicion that you know your purpose, or you're pretty close to really understanding what it is, and you just need permission and encouragement to step into it and allow that purpose to drive how you serve people and live an intentional life without looking to the right or the left.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I can't tell you exactly what living on purpose means for you, but when you quiet the noise of comparison and explore your voice and lean into it in a new way, you'll get closer and closer to what living on purpose means to you and, trust me, you will know when you feel it.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: The key is making the decision to do it, to allow yourself to move in the direction that you are called to move in, without caring what the people to the right or the left of you are doing.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I would love to be there when your eyes light up or maybe even tear up, when your purpose becomes more evident than ever and when you experience permission to put your purpose out there without looking to the right or the left anymore.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: So consider this your permission.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Ditching comparison is tricky.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: That's why it's such a chronic issue for so many people.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to share some practical ways to ditch comparison with you so that you can take action.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Make a decision to ditch comparison.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Just make the decision to ditch comparison and become aware of it sneaking in.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: You have to be really honest with yourself about when it's sneaking in.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: So set a timer for nine minutes and look for and consider areas that you're stuck in in your life and consider the impact comparison might be having there.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: And, again, be really real with yourself.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Get out of group texts that do not serve you.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Get out of the group text that every time you open it up and you read it, you start to feel yourself shift, what you're doing and think you have to do more.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Skip an event.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Don't go if you're going to spend the entire drive home thinking about what you need to do differently because somebody else was doing something a certain kind of way and you're not even in the same category as that person.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: You don't even live like that person and you don't want to Fun Follow people on Instagram.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Stop following the people on social media that thrust you into feeling dissatisfied and that make you feel yucky.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Check in with yourself regularly.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Remember when you feel stuck.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: It's likely that comparison is involved.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: So check in with yourself, identify it and take action to move out of it.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Celebrate the amazing things you do every day.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Think about the amazing contribution you are making to your family, to your friends, to the people around you, and celebrate that.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: When you celebrate those things, you're going to be less likely to dive into comparison and bury your head in the comparison sandbox.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Be grateful.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: When you practice gratitude, when you celebrate the things that are happening, you're less likely to claw your way to the things that you think should be happening that aren't even meant for you, and you are going to be more likely to live in your purpose.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: You have an extraordinary purpose and I can guarantee you it doesn't look like anyone else's, it's beautiful and it is meant just for you.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: You are designed for a specific purpose and I know it is amazing.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: So here's to less comparison and more joy, nine minutes at a time.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening today.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Do you have questions you'd love to ask, but don't because you aren't sure who to ask, or you'd rather not let the world in on not having it all together.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I get lots of questions all the time, from parenting to business development to Bible study, recommendations to the best meal to serve a crowd and even how to navigate hard conversations.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: My husband and kids call me Google and since I'm a problem solver by nature and love research, it sort of fits, so I am so excited to answer your questions.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: You can share your questions with me by DMing me on Instagram at Jennifer Seiss, and I'll answer your questions on an upcoming episode.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: So here's to more intentional connection and less grind.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Nine minutes at a time.