Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 72: Raised in Philly, rooted in faith – 17-year-old Aamir on mental health, purpose, & politics

Transcript

Ep. 72: Raised in Philly, rooted in faith – 17-year-old Aamir on mental health, purpose, & politics · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

0:00
We are back episode 72. Thank you so much for being
0:04
here. I am delighted to have my
0:08
youngest guest to date my actually guest #50 today.
0:14
So very, very. I think it's a a Christmas
0:17
present. One day late, right?
0:19
No, Amir, thank you so much for being here.
0:23
I am glad and proud to be here. Praise God.
0:26
Thank you, Praise God. Praise God and behind the
0:29
scenes, we, we just like my last episode, we had lots of sound
0:33
checks and restarts and it was very much like life, you know,
0:39
just kind of you, you go with the flow of, of unexpected
0:43
little difficulties that come up.
0:44
But here we are. So with that, we are here with
0:48
episode 72 of Adventures and adversity.
0:50
I'm going to give a quick intro to the podcast, and then I am
0:53
going to really just let Amir work his magic and his
0:59
storytelling, which I've been seeing on your reels and your
1:02
stories and just your poetry and all the things.
1:05
But if this is your first time listening to the podcast, thank
1:09
you so much for being here. This is a podcast where we
1:12
feature real people who tell true stories.
1:16
I'm AI everyone. Oh yeah, Amir, that's actually
1:21
crazy. I know the AI stuff.
1:23
I'm like, no, this, this is a real person podcast.
1:26
I'm gonna have to put that hashtag real people.
1:30
No AI generation here. We are blessed to have this be
1:36
the 72nd episode. We are closing out Season 2.
1:42
So Amir, you're gonna be the finale of Season 2, which is
1:46
really special for me. So thank you for that.
1:50
Thank you for being such a courageous, amazing, mature,
1:55
dynamic 17 year old. Still, I'm not sure.
1:59
I don't know if I believe that you can't be 17.
2:02
I AM 17 2008 2008 OK. Well, I know I'm going to be
2:09
learning a lot from this episode, but no, you I think
2:12
it's it's I've met so many different people on this podcast
2:15
of all ages, and Someone Like You gives me a lot of I'm sure
2:20
this is not the first time you've heard this, but a lot of
2:22
hope for the generation coming up right after 44 year old me
2:28
so. Praise God, I I don't, I don't
2:30
take it for granted. I don't take it.
2:32
For granted. So Amir, how did we connect?
2:35
It was on Instagram. I can't remember the guy felt
2:38
found. Each other.
2:40
I think I either, it was sometime where I got out of the,
2:45
the hospital, you know, you know, I have a mental health
2:50
background. I'm gonna get into that.
2:51
I'm gonna touch into that. But, and I don't know, I don't
2:54
know if I saw either some of your conservative content or if
2:57
I saw or if I, or if it was one of your like mental health
3:02
content, I can't remember. But I was just like, OK, this
3:05
looks, you know, this looks interesting.
3:07
And so I gave her a follow it and he followed back and he just
3:10
started to connect and I think I had posted something and may not
3:14
be on my page anymore but I had posted something and you you hit
3:17
me up. I believe if I can remember
3:19
correctly, I. Think I did.
3:20
I was like, can you be on the pot?
3:23
I think I just straight up. Asked.
3:24
I was like, will you come? Be on the podcast.
3:26
And and yeah, and, and, you know, I was busy with school and
3:32
dealing with certain all types of stuff.
3:35
And so we couldn't do exactly get into it as quick.
3:39
But couple days ago I was just like, hey, you know, we, we can,
3:43
we can do that, yeah. You're like, I'm ready.
3:47
And I was like, yes, and, and thanks for retelling that
3:53
connection story because I remember seeing that you were
3:56
also a poet. And then being like this guy is
3:59
interesting, 'cause I every follow, I get literally like a
4:03
little party goes off in my head where I'm like, yeah, who
4:05
followed me? What?
4:07
And then I go looked and I'm like, I'm like, oh, and, and I
4:12
would love everyone to be a guest, right?
4:13
But I'm like, I think, I think this guy might be open to it
4:17
because he's expressing himself. And I find that like after you
4:23
go through trauma, pain, you want to express yourself.
4:27
I don't even know why we want to get it out of us, right?
4:31
And I was drawn to you and I've just, I'm like blown away that
4:35
you're poetic and you're open about your life and you're
4:39
giving back to your community. And yeah, I just, I thank you
4:44
again. I'll probably thank you 400 more
4:46
times. That's what I do.
4:48
No problem, no problem. So Amir, when you think of kind
4:55
of like the word adversity, when you obviously you followed the
4:58
podcast, we've kind of gotten to know each other a little bit via
5:02
our accounts and then just chatting for a few minutes.
5:07
When you think of the word adversity, do do certain
5:10
experiences come to mind? Does one thing come to mind?
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Not so much. I mean, yeah, definitely, you
5:18
know, going through tough times, you're right.
5:21
Going through abuse and finding yourself, that's definitely, you
5:25
know, family issues. That's that's what I think of
5:28
when I think of adversity, overcoming something that's very
5:33
difficult and and coming out on the other side of it a much
5:38
better human being. Love that, love that.
5:42
And you are from Philly. You live, you live in Philly,
5:46
right? You still live in Philly, a bit
5:48
of a better part now, you know, we moving up, praise God, but.
5:52
Hey. That's great.
5:54
That's great. But no, this is home, you know?
5:59
Home. Yeah.
6:01
So you're born and so take me back.
6:03
I mean, it's not that far back because you're 17.
6:05
Yeah, you. Carry yourself like you're so
6:07
much older so. So take me back to early life.
6:12
Born and raised in. Philly born and raised in
6:14
Philly. OK, well, you know, I'm not
6:17
going to say I had the most troublesome life.
6:19
I would be lying if I said that, you know, my mother always
6:22
strived to make sure we never went hungry or whatever.
6:24
So if anyone was expecting to hear like a big homeless story,
6:27
no but but. Sounds.
6:31
Amazing. But you know, seeing certain
6:35
dynamics of family issues, you know, me not being close with my
6:38
biological father, me seeing grief, the impact of gun
6:42
violence because this is one of the most made, this is one of
6:45
the biggest cities in the country, but also one of has the
6:49
highest, one of the highest crime rates.
6:51
And so me seeing a lot of that, you know, that has an impact on
6:55
you and you start to kind of take it on now, thank God I've
6:58
never been in like the streets. So I've never been in kind of
7:01
that life. But I've seen that lifestyle.
7:03
I've seen what it does and it's it's not pretty.
7:06
And, you know, even in early life, me with family, you know,
7:11
being abused by family and being blamed for things that I didn't
7:16
do that has an impact on a small child.
7:19
And you know, and so I would tend to do things that weren't
7:23
healthy in order to express myself because I wanted the
7:25
attention. I wanted the love.
7:28
But also it came with the side of pettiness and vindictiveness
7:31
that I had because I will. I did not if if I even thought
7:36
that you felt a certain way about me or were a threat to me
7:40
out, it was no limit to what I would try to do to make a fool
7:43
out of you, right? And I unfortunately hurt a good
7:48
amount of people, you know, made people see me in a different
7:51
light. And I don't that's something
7:52
that I deeply, deeply regret. I'm always praying to God like
7:57
you forgive me, you know, for the things that I did.
8:00
And you know, I've taken I, you know, I don't brag about it.
8:03
As you know, I don't blame my mental health problems for what
8:06
I did know that was me. And I take, I take full
8:10
responsibility for that. And I hope if people who I've
8:14
heard see this, I hope that you, you can't forgive me and you see
8:17
me in a different light. But if not, you know, I, I have
8:21
to move on with my life knowing that I am a better person and
8:24
that God has forgiven me. But with that comes, you know,
8:29
when you know better, you do better.
8:31
And so for the past few months, you know, I found God.
8:35
I've, you know, express my, you know, started poetry a lot more
8:39
expressing myself and, you know, healing.
8:43
I I couple of weeks ago, I just finished therapy.
8:45
I got my discharge letter. And so and so, yeah, life is
8:50
very great and I'm going to get it.
8:52
I'm going to get into the more proper details as we move on.
8:55
But that was just that's a bit of early life.
8:57
That's a bit of early life, I suppose, yeah.
9:00
Well, that, that certainly I'm so happy to hear that you're in
9:05
a great place now. That's such a great and that's
9:09
with a lot of my guests. We talk about some really tough
9:12
stuff and cause life is full of tough stuff.
9:16
But here's the amazing part of what you just said you are
9:20
doing. I, I got, I just get chills.
9:23
You're doing great. Now you graduate your therapy
9:25
program. You've sounds like you've done a
9:27
lot of soul searching. I too, I, I'm in the process and
9:34
I want to, I want to commend you for at such a young age.
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Again, I'm 44 and I just like woke up a couple years ago.
9:41
You're 17 and you're already reflecting.
9:45
I mean, it's just, I can't, I don't want to.
9:50
Your age isn't age. I think wisdom comes at all
9:53
ages, but it's just remarkable to me that I didn't have that
9:58
after trauma. It took me a in my 40 forties to
10:03
have that awareness. It's incredible.
10:05
So that's one of my favorite Bible verses is Jeremiah 2911.
10:16
I think it's no, no, no chapter, no chapter Jeremiah 1 verses 7
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before I, I knew you before I formed you in your mother's
10:25
womb. And I, I like that verses
10:28
because like, you know, he knew our plans for us, whether you
10:32
came, whether you came into knowledge when you're 40 or you
10:35
come into knowledge when you're 16 or 17.
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And, and it's all a part of God's plan.
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And you know, I, I, I tell my friends this all the time.
10:44
Moses was a murderer, Jacob was a deceiver.
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You know, Enoch ran from God. And so there's nothing bigger
10:56
than the cross. Nothing.
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We are all covered by grace and we're all covered by the glory
11:02
of God. David had shepherd for years
11:05
before he became a king. And so when I hear people like,
11:09
oh, I'm too young, or I'm too old, or I came in, it's too
11:13
late. No, you didn't.
11:14
Don't think like that. Don't think like that.
11:17
Don't think like that. So even you know, I'm.
11:19
I'm grateful for therapy. I'm grateful for friends.
11:22
But let me tell you what has been my biggest help.
11:27
The word. Yeah.
11:30
The word. Yeah, let me tell you something.
11:33
This there? You.
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Yeah. We both open your Bible.
11:39
That's all I'm gonna say. You know, there's nothing in
11:41
this book that if you don't apply it to to your life, you
11:44
cannot overcome anything in your life.
11:46
This is the blueprint from Genesis to Revelation that this
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is the blueprint. If you're feeling set, you can
11:52
go to the Psalms. You can go to Proverbs for
11:54
comfort. You can go to Ecclesiastes for
11:56
comfort. You can go to Isaiah for
11:58
comfort. There is nothing like this book.
12:01
And so for my believers out there, if you're not a believer
12:07
to take it to leave it. But for the believers out there,
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I'm not saying therapy doesn't matter because it's helped me,
12:15
but what I am saying, pick up your word and be in your prayer
12:18
closet because God is the ultimate doctor.
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The ultimate doctor. That I just got.
12:25
Oh my gosh, we need to that needs to be AT shirt pick up
12:30
your Bible, because God is the ultimate doctor.
12:34
Oh my gosh, So OK, we're we have so much to talk about here.
12:40
So you just we just basically got a little bit of a if we did
12:43
the movie trailer that was. Yeah, that was a trick.
12:46
Your life. That was the movie trailer, and
12:48
we know that it ends with glory. So now let's kind of rewind.
12:53
Yeah, let's rewind. Let's rewind and I'm so happy to
12:57
hear that. Oh my gosh, that's so cool.
12:59
We're actually going to see the movie David tonight.
13:01
So you mentioned David. I'm like, oh, that's funny.
13:06
So you're in Philly and as we know, inner cities,
13:11
particularly, like you said, with a high crime rate, all of
13:14
that. How did you I'm so sorry that
13:19
that you had to like witness things like that.
13:23
And I just it's, you know, I, I can't imagine what that would
13:27
have been like. And so I just wanted to
13:29
acknowledge that that's really difficult.
13:31
And how did you for anyone listening that maybe is in the
13:36
city in a situation that they're they're seeing things like that,
13:41
but they want to stay on the right path.
13:44
How did you how did you stay on? The right path?
13:47
Well, I was fortunate enough to have a mother who, you know,
13:52
she's seen it and she made sure that her kids were never in it.
13:55
And my mom is really tough. You know, when I was younger, I
13:58
was just like, this woman is mean.
14:00
But but then, but then as I, as I'm, you know, when I'm, as I'm
14:05
older now, I look at it like, you know, I've never been to
14:09
prison. I've never had any trouble with
14:10
the police. And so I, I don't look at it as
14:13
such as my family was mean or being hard on me.
14:16
Yo, they were trying to protect me.
14:18
And when I see a lot of like even people that I used to go to
14:21
school with one of one of my old elementary school mates is in
14:24
jail right now for murder. He murdered someone on the steps
14:27
of our old elementary school. And so when I hear God help me
14:34
when I hear things like that, it's like, wow.
14:38
But I think having a a great mother, having great
14:44
grandparents that were stern, but also at talks with me like,
14:48
look, man, this life, it's not pretty.
14:52
And also having having godly friends like I'm blessed, like
14:55
now me, I have godly friends. You know, when we're when we
14:58
catch each other stepping up, we, we go biblical, but and, and
15:04
also having good, good community.
15:06
I've been blessed to have some amazing mentors in my life of
15:10
all religions, of all colors of, you know, of over the end.
15:15
And so I've had some amazing mentors and I think that's how
15:18
I've been able to stay the course and run my own race and
15:22
not really worried about what's going on around me, but be on
15:27
the right path, you know? No, that's, it's tough when you
15:33
see people that you grew up with get into, you know, evil, get
15:40
into evil like that. And, and it makes you, you know,
15:44
it makes you remember sort of like everyone's humanity when
15:47
you're like, I've known that person forever.
15:49
Like they like they were a kid once, you know, like, and
15:52
obviously something went wrong and, and that that's where to me
15:56
like, that's when God can step in, right?
15:58
Like that's when, like for a with a battle like that, it's
16:03
that's when you need God, you know, but.
16:05
Absolutely. Because it just gets dark.
16:07
It gets too dark, you know? And so you're so you grew up.
16:11
So let's talk about mentors. You said that's such a great
16:14
word. I love mentors.
16:16
I think everyone needs them at all ages, but especially kids,
16:19
right? So how if someone's listening to
16:23
this and they want to be a mentor to somebody who maybe is
16:29
in a in a tough situation as a youth, what did those mentors do
16:32
for you that you kind of think back and you remember to this
16:35
day? Or what do they do for you
16:37
still? I, I think the biggest part is,
16:42
well, first of all, you, you mentioned something about if
16:45
they want to be a mentor, in order to be a mentor, you also
16:48
have to be a servant and you also have to learn how to be
16:51
mentored yourself, You know, and.
16:56
Servant love that. And but I as far as my mentors,
17:02
I have 2-3 really great mentors in my life and I'm gonna mention
17:08
them by name because I plan on sending them the video.
17:10
Shout out this is. Where you get the shout out, Mr.
17:13
Washington, He, he, you know, he's the runner of this
17:16
nonprofit called Bringing Everybody together.
17:18
That's community events. You know, he has chess club,
17:21
basketball club, the youth council.
17:24
I'm in, I'm blessed to be a part of the youth council for what,
17:28
about five years now? And and you know, he serves out
17:35
of my old neighborhood and I wherever, whenever I go there
17:38
and visit, I visit my old elementary school, I visit them
17:41
any events that they have. I try to help out.
17:44
And recently when his buddies came to Philly, when a well, you
17:47
know, I was able to work with well known actors, Lisa Nicole
17:51
Carson, Jeffrey Owens and you know, thank you, Mr. Washington.
17:57
Another good mentor of mine is goes by the name of brother
18:01
David. Brother David is Muslim.
18:02
He's, you know, in the Nation of Islam, but I'm no longer, you
18:06
know, I was I'm no longer in the nation, but I, you know, he gave
18:09
me this book. It's called Declutter Your Mind.
18:14
And you know, he and I've been reading it and it's how to stop
18:20
worrying, relieve anxiety and eliminate negative thinking.
18:23
And he was a he, he was one of those mentors.
18:26
He'll give you tough love. You know, he's going to tell you
18:29
what you need all the time. And I appreciate that.
18:32
And I haven't talked to him in a while, but I, I will, I will
18:36
never forget him because he he was one of those people.
18:40
He genuinely cares and still cared and still cares.
18:43
And another one is, is also Muslim in the Nation of Islam,
18:47
Brother Sabir. He is Oh my God, that I still
18:51
talk to him. I still talk to him, man.
18:54
We he is funny. He he, he like to kind of like
18:58
talk trash like I do and you know, but also he'll give you
19:02
man talk as well, you know, and wow, yeah.
19:08
So shouts out to them. Hey.
19:12
But but I think any mentor, you want a sense of tough love and
19:19
even for the like I'm a junior in high school, but for the for
19:22
the sophomores and for the freshman in my school, they have
19:26
come up to me and literally said I'm like a Big Brother to them.
19:29
And I don't take that for granted.
19:31
And I think I try to teach them kind of like the way that I was
19:34
taught. You know, I do have tough love
19:36
with a little good amount of them.
19:37
Like I'm, you know, some, some, some of them may say like, yo,
19:40
he's like mean some, but but in all, but especially in a city
19:49
like mine, I feel like you need that tough love.
19:51
And especially young men. I can't speak from a woman's
19:53
perspective. I'm not a woman, but from a
19:56
young man's perspective, we need that tough love.
19:58
We need that discipline. And so I will say to all the,
20:02
the young men my age and younger or maybe a little older, learn
20:05
how to take correction, learn how to take instruction.
20:08
Proverbs says a wise person loves instruction, but a why?
20:13
But a foolish person despises correction.
20:17
It also says pride goes before destruction, not the fall.
20:20
Fall, you can recover from destruction.
20:23
You can't. Pride goes before destruction.
20:25
And so if you learn how to take correction, you you will be
20:30
better off. You'll be better off.
20:33
So good. And that's something I'm just
20:35
now coming in to learn how to take correction because I did
20:37
hardware at it. But I'm I'm, I'm just now
20:39
learning the importance of that. Yeah.
20:42
Great answer because I think you, you covered what's so
20:47
important with mentors. Like you said, you're able to
20:49
kind of connect, make a joke, but when it's time to get real,
20:53
you, you got to be able to be honest, right?
20:56
Otherwise you're, those mentors aren't doing you a favor by not
20:59
telling you what you really need to do, even if it stings a
21:02
little. Right, man.
21:05
I and then the part you mentioned about learning to take
21:08
correction, that's like such a good one because it's like when
21:14
you drop the ego, you take it as information to make you better.
21:18
It's like, Oh yeah, but it's, if you have that ego, which I've
21:21
had for many years until recently until God, funny how
21:24
that works. It's, it's you reframe it right
21:29
as I know this person cares. I know this person's trying to
21:32
make me better. But again, I didn't know that at
21:33
17. Again, you're blowing my mind
21:35
right here. I'm like, wait, what?
21:37
I'm 44 and I just learned that yesterday.
21:41
OK, so you have mentors and a shout out to them.
21:44
Happy to link to any of their organizations in the show notes.
21:47
I always just think it's so cool to hear people that give back to
21:52
their community and clearly it's doing great things and putting
21:57
you in leadership positions. And I think that's fantastic.
22:02
If you don't mind talking a little bit about, you know, for
22:05
the single moms out there, right, we've got a lot of single
22:08
moms, yes. And let's give your mom some
22:10
more love. Yes, yes.
22:12
Love you, Mom. Love you.
22:13
I'm gonna tell. Your son is fantastic.
22:15
Oh my gosh, don't even get me started.
22:18
And I look like her. You look like her.
22:21
Oh, you can come mentor my son Braden, who's 10.
22:26
Thank you very much. So tell me about your amazing
22:30
mother. Oh man, where do I start?
22:33
I'm her oldest boy. And so I pretty much, you know,
22:37
me and my mom are 20 years apart.
22:38
So I pretty much, you know, I like to say I grew up with my
22:40
mom and my mom says the same thing.
22:42
And, and so I've seen kind of like the good and the bad, but
22:47
single motherhood. It's, it's not easy.
22:50
And I, I'm grateful that my mom is now married and, and, but you
23:00
know, single motherhood is not easy.
23:02
And for all the single mothers out there, I just pray I, I
23:05
gotta clap it up for you because no one, no one knows how hard it
23:10
is. Like, you know, don't let
23:12
anyone, anyone ever say that you can't do it without no man or
23:18
this and that man. No, y'all are strong.
23:20
Y'all are powerful. Y'all just keep you don't you're
23:26
doing fine. You're doing just fine.
23:28
You're doing just fine. But my mother, she such a I'm
23:34
glad to see her grow as a woman, as a mother, as a, as a daughter
23:40
to, you know, to my grandmother, you know, she's grown so much
23:44
and and she's been through some stuff as well.
23:49
And to see her overcoming and to see her getting through it and
23:53
to see her pouring into her children, especially me and the
23:58
brother that comes, you know, right after me, her two oldest
24:00
boys pouring into them to where we don't make the same mistakes
24:05
as she did, even if she sometimes has to be tough.
24:10
You know, I I appreciate that, you know.
24:12
Yeah. Yeah.
24:13
So. Yeah.
24:14
My mother, is she. She's not like if you, if she
24:18
was around people and she's around a lot of people.
24:20
She doesn't do a lot of talking. She doesn't, you know, unless
24:24
she knows you or whatever, but she, she's a woman of action
24:28
and, you know, even if she's not feeling like it, even if she's
24:32
not, things got to get done. And I think I learned a lot of
24:35
that from her and certain things that I like to do 'cause I could
24:39
get lazy. I could get lazy sometime, but
24:44
you know, but overall, just like you hate things got to get done.
24:48
And I think I, that's the biggest thing that I take from
24:51
not only my mother, but also my grandparents work before play
24:56
and, you know, get done, but you got to get done.
25:01
Love that things got to get done.
25:04
I can just you know, it's a it's a toughness she didn't at 20
25:09
years old having you and then obviously being a single mom.
25:13
Obviously she's modeled that that get up and you don't have
25:17
to you can't feel sorry for yourself, even though there were
25:21
probably many reasons and you know, she faced a lot of things
25:25
as a single mom. I'm sure that you know, like I
25:29
I'm I I'm I have a husband to help me with this right raise
25:32
kids. It's still hard imagine being AI
25:36
mean it takes it to a different level that I'm not sure anyone
25:40
could understand unless you're really in it.
25:42
You know, and probably I think it's beautiful that you guys
25:47
have have grown up together like that, you know, because parents
25:51
are still learning too. Like we don't know what we're
25:53
doing. We don't know.
25:54
You get the baby and you're like, Oh my God, you're like, I
25:57
love this baby more than anything.
25:59
And I hope I can do the right thing.
26:03
Yeah, you have to give your parents grace.
26:06
You know, you have to. Your parents are not perfect.
26:08
You know, I, you know, I have people that I know they're like
26:13
my father doesn't so much emotion or my mother doesn't so
26:16
much emotion. I said, you know, it can be
26:19
tough sometimes. But you gotta remember in this
26:22
world that we're growing up in, like you just said, you can't
26:24
feel sorry for yourself. And even, you know, a lot of the
26:29
men in my family, they're like that.
26:30
They're tough. But but also, you know, the way
26:35
they grow up, you can't feel sorry for yourself.
26:37
And now is it a healthy way of dealing with their emotions?
26:40
That's not up for me to say. I'm not that.
26:43
I'm not that old yet, but what I will say is your parents are
26:47
learning and they're doing the best that they can and they love
26:50
you. They love you. 100% that's such
26:53
a great thing to hear from and I hope my kids will understand
26:57
that one day too, because you really are growing up as you
27:00
raise kids and you're just like hoping that you are making the
27:04
right choices. But you also, you know, parents
27:06
have their own mental health battles, you know, like I had
27:09
mine and coming out on the other side of it, looking back, you
27:12
know, 2-3 years ago, I'm like, I wish I wouldn't have done that.
27:15
And, and I'm like grace, I have to give myself grace that, you
27:21
know, and then it makes me look back at my parents.
27:24
I go, oh gosh, this is hard. So it's beautiful that you have
27:29
that knowledge already. I can tell, I can tell you that
27:31
right now. I.
27:32
Think my mom might be coming right now?
27:33
Oh, she's happy to. Pop, that's my brother.
27:36
That's my. Brother, hey, is that your
27:41
little brother? The one you were just talking
27:42
about. Yeah, the one that comes right
27:44
after me. We go, we go Edit that out.
27:46
No, actually, no, we're not. No, we're not.
27:47
No, we're. Good.
27:48
No have to. We roll whatever in this pocket
27:51
I have. My daughter might pop in, you
27:52
know. No, no, that's my birthday.
27:56
Yeah, So how old So you, how many siblings do you have?
27:59
I have 3. Oh, you're the oldest of four.
28:02
Yeah. Gosh, you're such a grown up
28:05
already. Yeah, how old are your siblings?
28:09
The one that just came in here, he's 13.
28:12
OK. He looks like my Big Brother.
28:17
I have another brother. He's 5 and and I have a sister.
28:21
She's four. Oh yeah.
28:24
She's your little baby. Yes, yes.
28:28
Three boys and a girl. Thank you.
28:31
Oh, she is protected forever with her brothers.
28:35
That's amazing. So you, gosh, you've got little
28:39
siblings, you're on the youth council, you're you, you really
28:44
seem like, again, I'm talking like I've known you for years,
28:46
but I don't know, maybe we have feels like you're in a, you're
28:52
stepping into like some really exciting roles, right?
28:58
Like your community and your family within yourself.
29:03
You know, you know me spending time in my prayer closet.
29:06
You know, I've recent, I've just recently learned how to pray and
29:10
me, you know, me spending time alone in prayer and sitting in
29:13
silence reading a word, you know, I've been asking God, I
29:15
was like, you know, reveal what is your will for my life?
29:18
Reveal to me whatever you would. Because I'm at a point now I'm
29:21
much more interested in what God wants from me than what I want
29:24
from God. Because what if I do what God
29:26
wills for me? All my things will, all my wants
29:30
will come, but it comes through submission.
29:33
So and the more and more I ask them, the more and more, you
29:38
know, I'm being asked to talk to this person or or you know,
29:43
people coming up to me. But like you talk well, you or
29:46
your presence and I'm just like, OK, and I think it might, you
29:50
know, I'm not 100% sure, but I think my calling is something
29:54
with my voice, whether that's politics or being like a a
29:57
motivational speaker or but making an impact on someone, you
30:01
know, is it? I think it's definitely
30:04
something along those lines. Oh, for sure you have.
30:10
You do have a presence. I'm telling you like you have a
30:14
presence. You have a, a voice that is very
30:19
easy to listen to. You're very articulate, like,
30:24
and I think tell me more about I'm jumping all over the place.
30:29
That's I always tell everyone, welcome to my head.
30:32
It's all over the place. And just like my podcast,
30:34
they're like, wait, what are you talking about?
30:35
I'm like adversity. It's it's all part of it.
30:39
Tell me about gosh was you so you had an amaze.
30:43
You have an amazing brother. You have three siblings.
30:46
You've got, you know, awesome mentors.
30:51
Tell me when God really came into your life.
30:54
'Cause it was newish. Newish to me.
30:56
I've searched for God ever since I was young, like I have, I have
31:01
been the Buddhist temples. I, I have been, I have been to,
31:06
you know, mosque. I, you know, I, I, I was, you
31:09
know, even when I was Muslim, I would have loved to say I
31:12
destroyed people in debates, but you know, whatever, I've been to
31:16
Jehovah Witnesses things, I've been all over the place and even
31:21
I think sometimes my mom, I think what one day my mom was
31:23
just like, man, if you don't make up your mind.
31:27
Pick one. But I still forgot all my life.
31:31
I think it was when I was in a mental hospital back in, you
31:35
know, April, May this year, by the way, back in April, May of
31:38
this year and it was 1 and it was one day.
31:43
I was just thinking about everything that I did to people,
31:46
you know, I hurt people, you know, I made people see me at a
31:50
different light, this and that. And, and I was just in the
31:54
shower. I remember I was in the shower
31:55
in my room and I was just, I just crying.
31:57
I just crying in the shower. And I heard this, like, faint
32:00
voice, but I could hear it as clear as day.
32:03
And it said, I died for you too. I died for you too.
32:10
And I said, oh, my God. I said, well, there's no other
32:14
religion that believes that someone died for them except for
32:17
Christianity. And so I said, well, God, as I
32:21
prepare to leave in a week, I said, show me if this is the
32:26
right path. And ever since then, my friends,
32:29
you know, they started at answering me, shouts out the tie
32:33
on. He started answering some
32:36
questions that I had about the Bible since I was younger.
32:39
And I was just like, wow, that makes sense.
32:42
And then I, I just started to pray more and building my
32:47
biblical knowledge. And one day we went to service,
32:55
me and my friends, we went to this Wednesday service to now my
32:58
church city reach that's out the city reach.
33:02
I, it was our second service going there 'cause we had went
33:05
to a first service like this big service.
33:08
And we were like, wow, it was a good experience.
33:11
But we went to this Wednesday service.
33:12
And you know, of course, you cannot take communion unless
33:16
you're a believer. And so we all have the communion
33:18
cups in our hand. But remember, I have never
33:20
really formally said that I accept Jesus as my Lord Savior.
33:24
And so my friends look at me. They're.
33:28
Like, wait, what's it gonna be? They said you can't take that
33:32
unless, unless, unless you accept Lord and Savior.
33:37
And, and at that moment I'm thinking of, you know, I'm, I'm
33:40
shedding tears. I'm thinking of just how good
33:43
God has been to me. And I'm like, I accept Jesus
33:47
Christ as my Lord and Savior. And that was back in October.
33:52
And so, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm new to this.
33:55
And hey. And I am too.
33:58
And you're not before, right? Here.
34:00
With you I can November. November 4th.
34:03
I'm new. Too I can, you know, I can
34:06
positively say that Lord Savior is that Jesus Christ is my Lord
34:09
and Savior. He, he, I'm a Sinner, he died
34:12
for me and I'm covered by the blood and grace of Jesus.
34:15
Romans 3 verse 23. We all sin and we all fall short
34:19
of the glory of God, but we are made righteous through Christ
34:23
Jesus who freed us from our sins.
34:24
So yeah. Beautiful, beautiful story that
34:30
hearing that voice, hearing that.
34:34
I'm so happy that you heard that voice and I'm so happy to be on
34:41
this journey. Right there with you.
34:42
I just got baptized November 4th.
34:45
Yeah, I I haven't been baptized yet, but I'm the next, the next,
34:50
the next baptism that my church holds you.
34:54
I will be baptized. Yes, I do.
34:56
Congrats. Well, you are I just such a it's
35:00
such a it's to hear to to to hear God meet you in what is
35:10
probably an extremely difficult time being being in a facility
35:14
for your mental health. It's a beautiful reminder that
35:19
like even Not even in your darkness moments, I feel like
35:22
God is even closer to the people who are in their darkest.
35:26
Moments. Absolutely.
35:27
Not that you're not. If you're doing great, praise
35:30
God that you're doing great. And God is close, but he's also
35:33
really, really close to people who are, who can't go on or
35:37
can't feel it, who are in their worst moment.
35:40
That's where he's like the nearest is what I have learned,
35:44
which seems wild. But if you get quiet, Amir, I've
35:49
heard stuff like that too, where I'm just like, the answer is so
35:53
clear where I'm like, where did that come from?
35:56
And that was not me. And like not sometimes it's not
35:59
audible, but it's like, I just know it's a knowing, a love and
36:04
experience of feeling. And and since I've been going
36:07
to, I don't know if you ever feel you just feel the presence.
36:10
Yeah, you just see it. You, you feel it.
36:12
I don't know how to describe it. Yeah, when I, when I'm in my
36:15
space and when I'm just praying and, and it, and it's normally
36:18
for me like on weekends, because you know, I, I, I observed the
36:22
Sabbath. OK.
36:24
And so later on tonight, I will be shutting off, I'll be getting
36:29
off the social media from Friday night to about Sunday afternoon.
36:34
And that is my, that is my full time to, you know, be with the
36:38
Lord and really get into my studies and just pray and, and,
36:46
and it's just like when you just when you're in that zone, like
36:49
God really talks to you, you know, and I remember talking, I
36:56
remember talking to one of my friends one night and she was
37:00
going through a real hard time, You know, people were messing
37:01
with her in the school or whatever.
37:04
And I said, you know, sister, I said, people in the school,
37:07
they're going to get, they're going to read what they sell.
37:11
I said, watch my words. I said, God is going to show
37:15
them something to humble them. And I didn't notice it, But like
37:19
a week later, she called me. She was like, you're right.
37:21
I said what? I said really?
37:25
I said, I said, what are you talking about?
37:26
She's like, you're right. I said, what are you talking
37:28
about? She's like when you said people
37:30
will get their, their root, what they sow, they're reaping what
37:33
they sow I said, oh, wow. It's, and it all made sense
37:37
because when I'm in church, when I, when I was in church, like we
37:40
have this like little testing where you go through grow, the
37:43
grow program to serve in the church.
37:44
They take this test and it'll, it'll give you like your
37:48
personality type and like your gifts, the gifts of the Holy
37:50
Spirit. Yeah.
37:52
And one of mine is prophecy. And so when she called me, when
37:57
she called me and say, Yo, you were right.
38:01
And I said, oh, oh, wow. It was, it was one guy in the
38:06
church. He's a rapper.
38:07
He he, he preaches a lot in his raps.
38:09
He is gospel. And I don't really listen to rap
38:12
music, but I I listen to his music.
38:14
Shouts out to brother Joey from City Reach, shouts out to him.
38:17
And, and, and I told him one time we was at a service and I
38:22
and I looked over. I said, I had to dream about you
38:24
last night, brother. He said, what was the dream?
38:27
I said, people are going to be jealous of your gift.
38:32
I said, just be careful because these people are going to
38:38
manifest things that you wouldn't believe.
38:40
And he said, wow, you know what's crazy?
38:41
I'm already starting to see that a little now and so I'm like,
38:46
man, God talks to his servants. Man, when you in that prayer
38:50
closet were you in that word? God will reveal things that you
38:54
to you that you will never see. And and I'm not self seeking.
38:58
I am not trying to exalt my I'm not a prophet guys.
39:00
I'm no, but what I am saying is that when you submit to God and
39:05
we're in that prayer closet, God shows you things.
39:08
And another thing I forgot to mention, I was sleep one night
39:10
and I had this dream. Matter of fact, it was before I
39:13
went in. I'm gonna take it back.
39:14
Is that OK? I'm gonna take it back.
39:16
Hey. It was, it was a it was a little
39:18
before I went into them. It was OK.
39:21
So it I had did something egregious.
39:23
I'm just going to say that. And I really, and then it was at
39:26
that point where I really felt the weight of my sins and how I
39:31
was, whether we can say it was from my trauma or whatever, why
39:36
I did what I did. And I really felt the weight of
39:39
it. I was really feeling bad about
39:40
it. So I was gonna check myself in
39:42
that Friday. But my I go to a military school
39:47
and so we have this thing called a military ball.
39:50
And so my commandant, he said, can you at least have fun
39:53
tonight? I said, OK, yes, Sir.
39:55
So I went out and have fun tonight, man.
39:57
I was I was Krause were surfing, I was dancing that I was I was
40:01
having a good time. But when I got home it it hit me
40:05
and I was still feeling that. And and I was sleeping and then
40:11
and I had a dream. And in that dream out it was me
40:13
as you can see me now. And I was fighting myself,
40:16
fighting myself. And but myself, it looked
40:21
demented. It looked he was angry like he
40:24
was like he looked evil, right? And I kept losing.
40:29
I kept losing. No matter how close I came, I
40:31
kept losing. And then I looked over and I
40:34
really couldn't see anything. It was just this light.
40:36
And out of this light I heard this voice and it said, this is
40:41
life or death for you. If you allow this one, if you
40:44
allow your flesh to keep winning, you will die in your
40:48
sin. And at that moment, I, I chopped
40:51
that demented version of my head off and I was victorious.
40:56
And then in another dream, just literally a few weeks ago, I was
41:00
shown my me as a father and as a grandfather, a family man
41:10
married. And I said, Oh my God,
41:13
generations are impacted by my submissiveness to God.
41:22
And I've seen I've seen people in my school, I've seen people
41:26
in my school say because of me, they have picked up a Bible
41:29
again, they have had hope in God again.
41:32
And for me, I didn't really get gifts yesterday and I just went
41:36
out with a friend. We got some need and we watched
41:37
the movie and that was our Christmas.
41:39
But to get the messages from some people and be like, Yo, I
41:43
thank you that that's the behind after behind Jesus giving his
41:47
life to me. That's the greatest gift I could
41:50
receive. Because when you serve others,
41:54
people will serve you. Chills you you have you've
42:03
definitely had some encounters with the divine, it seems.
42:10
And I'm. Yeah, beautiful.
42:14
It's beautiful to hear you see like how much how much you have
42:20
going for you and how many people you're impacting like by
42:24
you again, at such a young age, being so open about who you are
42:29
normally, this typically comes later and it's like it's such a
42:34
such a cool thing to see if you don't mind talking about it.
42:41
And again, you feel free to let me know what you're comfortable
42:43
with. Tell me a little bit about your
42:45
experience. University.
42:47
I don't know. OK.
42:51
It's my laptop. It's my laptop.
42:53
OK, That's OK. All right.
42:57
Question for you. How did you find treatment
43:03
versus like did that? Staying in a treatment center
43:07
obviously really helped you and I want to encourage people to
43:11
seek help like, you know, I've sought therapy.
43:13
If you can tell me a little bit about anything that you learned
43:16
there or what was helpful to you.
43:18
Well, I must say this. First off, if you really need
43:24
help, go get help before it becomes before you end up like
43:31
my case where you're impacting people around you and you're
43:34
hurting people around you. Get help.
43:38
There's nothing wrong with getting help and what I learned
43:41
in there, it helped me. Of course it's not, it's not the
43:46
funnest place. You know, you, you don't, you
43:50
don't have your phone. You don't, you know, it's not
43:51
the funnest place, but it's you can, you can, you don't have to
43:55
think about the outside world. You literally have no contact
43:58
with the outside world. Yeah.
44:00
And yeah, and it, it helped me a lot.
44:06
I think I learned. I think something I learned from
44:08
there is just to be honest with myself.
44:10
You know, my problem was I just read.
44:11
I compartmentalized a lot. I would, I didn't like that
44:15
version of me and so I just put it on the back end.
44:19
But if someone brung it up or they would see it and it wasn't
44:22
pretty. But then I kept running for
44:24
myself and I would put this mask on until one day I just couldn't
44:29
hide it anymore. And my social worker when I was
44:32
in there, she can't, she found out something that happened on
44:34
the outside when I where I came in and she was like, young man,
44:38
your masses slipped and it's crapped on the floor.
44:41
And she was like, unless you she said you will be in here until
44:45
you face yourself in the mirror. And that's another part is yo,
44:52
look at you, you're not that important.
44:56
Face yourself. And I think that's, you know,
45:00
there's so many narcissists out here that can't, that just can't
45:04
see the see it for what it is. You know how you know, I, I
45:08
wanted to blame everyone else. I would love to, I still
45:10
probably would. I still would probably would
45:12
love to blame everyone else. But it gets to a certain point
45:14
where man, stop it. You did it.
45:17
It wasn't cause of your mental health.
45:19
It it you still knew exactly what you were doing.
45:22
You still have full control over which though.
45:24
So even though I do still have a mental health background.
45:27
Yeah. When I have, when I have went to
45:30
people that I've hurt over the year, over this past year, they
45:34
haven't responded. But when I went, when I had
45:36
sent, when I sent that apology message, I didn't once mention
45:40
my mental health. I maybe said maybe I wasn't in a
45:43
good place at that time, but I didn't mention, oh, I had
45:45
depression, I had PG No, because I had free will.
45:48
I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew exactly what I was doing
45:53
and I knew the consequences that would come from that.
45:56
But but because I wanted to be in my own ego.
45:59
Yep. Now I got what I got, so you
46:03
know, they haven't responded, but it's OK.
46:08
First of all, I think people have to realize people don't owe
46:11
you anything. Once you hurt people, you're not
46:14
the best person to teach them. So the the best, the best you
46:18
can do is apologize and move on. It's between them and God now.
46:23
And so that burden is lift up off of me and no one.
46:26
And if someone mentions that, even if one of them mentions
46:29
that I was like, yeah, I did do that, but I also apologize to
46:31
you and I'm a changed person now and that's all I can do.
46:34
But they don't owe me a forgiveness.
46:36
They don't, they don't owe me reconciliation.
46:38
They don't owe me. They don't owe, they don't have
46:41
to be my they don't have to talk to me ever again.
46:44
They don't they I did what I did, but it me, me looking at
46:50
myself in the mirror, I've realized you know where I went
46:53
wrong. And even if I never talked to
46:54
those people again, let me learn from that.
46:59
Become a more godly person, a more God fearing person and let
47:02
me do better for the next person that I come.
47:04
Across. I love how you put.
47:07
That and I think that's that's where we that's where we go so
47:09
wrong. You know, that's where we go so
47:12
wrong. Like you, you know Mary
47:14
Magdalene has seven demons yo past your diameter does not
47:19
determine your circumference. Yes, it's accountability.
47:27
Accountability is like power in a way, right?
47:29
You take accountability and you're saying you look in the
47:31
mirror on the last. Actually, we've talked about
47:34
this on a quite a few episodes, the power of like looking
47:37
yourself in the mirror and facing yourself.
47:39
And it's really hard to do and it's easy to stay busy and just
47:45
be in motion because then you don't ever have to stop when you
47:47
really look at yourself in the mirror.
47:50
You can't hide from that. Yeah.
47:52
Oh, it hurt when I first did it. Hurt.
47:54
Sucks. Sucks.
47:55
I'm like, wait, this is what I did, Yeah.
47:58
We've all we have all made made mistakes, small, big, and it's
48:06
dropping the shame around it, right?
48:08
And that's where God comes in because you when you apologize
48:13
too, Like what I love that you said it's between them and God
48:17
now because you've you've owned your part, but God can, God
48:21
needs to work on the rest. Like it's, it's really just,
48:25
it's I like the way you said that I was kind of following
48:27
like, hey, yeah, leave, leave, leave their response up to them
48:32
and God, because it's really it was about you and God saying
48:36
when you, when you apologized, I'm sure God was part of that.
48:39
I know it was for me. God was in that.
48:42
And whether they respond or not, God is still in that apology.
48:46
It's still genuine you. Know, and I think for a lot of
48:48
us Christians, we, I think we hold on to the past too much.
48:52
And I'm not saying you don't learn.
48:54
I'm not saying you shouldn't learn from it.
48:57
But also don't get so caught up in the past to where you feel
49:02
like nothing that you do in the future is validated.
49:04
And like, like I said, we're all covered by grace, whether you
49:07
like it or not. And it's almost an insult to
49:12
Jesus when you say that Oh my God, my past, my pet.
49:15
He came to free us from the penalty of our sins.
49:19
And so we have to have a proper hermeneutic of Scripture.
49:22
Hermeneutic means a proper understanding of the Scriptures.
49:26
We have to have us. We have to have a proper human
49:28
Utica proper understanding of of Scripture of yeah, Jesus on why
49:35
he came. He came to nothing his blood
49:39
covers or everything that we did.
49:42
Now I'm not saying you just go out and still commit blazing
49:45
sin. I'm not saying that but we're
49:47
all covered by grace and there's nothing nothing that you did you
49:54
you do will do have done because we're human.
49:58
I've messed up and I probably will mess up again, but
50:01
guarantee. I will.
50:03
But we're covered by grace. Yeah, it's a beautiful reminder
50:10
because shame, shame can be quite debilitating and tell you
50:14
that shame, shame in what's happened to you or what you've
50:18
done or how you've responded to what's happened to you or it, it
50:25
for me, it was quite debilitating.
50:27
Just I, I didn't want, when I was feeling shameful, I didn't
50:32
want to be around people. I didn't want to, you know, and
50:35
it and it shuts you out from the world.
50:36
And so I think it's really important to, like, remind
50:42
ourselves that we all have shame around something.
50:44
We absolutely. And, and, but God can come in
50:48
and you don't have to hold on to it like you can't, you can't
50:52
hold on to it. You will, it will if you're
50:54
holding on to that shame, you have to find a way to let it go.
50:57
And it sounds like you're saying for you, it's been great, great
51:01
therapy, of course, but really for really heavy stuff, I you
51:07
need like the light of God. Absolutely.
51:09
Cause a therapist can't take away your shame, an exercise
51:12
can't take, you know what I mean?
51:14
Something stronger? Yeah, and now I'm like now, like
51:18
ever since I've read, I've sent those apology letters out.
51:22
Messages rather. No one writes letters but with
51:26
your old. Yeah, but, but ever since then,
51:29
I haven't really. I mean, I think about it, sure,
51:31
but it's not debilitating anymore.
51:34
And that's how I know the Holy Spirit has literally said,
51:37
servant, you've done your part, that's so good.
51:40
Now be your best. Now be the best person you could
51:42
be from here or not. That is so good.
51:45
One second somebody's pinging me and I just want to make sure if
51:48
I'm OK. Cool.
51:51
The part that you say about debilitating because I feel like
51:55
we all have adversity in our lives where it's hard when when
51:58
it runs across your mind, a person, a situation, a thing
52:01
that happened. It might still be there.
52:05
But the part that God has really helped in my friends and going
52:08
to church and like reading and all that is that it it takes it
52:16
hold on one second. I'm getting a a door ring here.
52:19
One second. Sorry.
52:20
Oh, but get out here. OK, sorry about that.
52:37
OK, you're, you know, hey, we all got people coming in.
52:41
What was I saying? Oh, yes, just a part like anyone
52:44
listening to this, right, Like you, if you have a shame about
52:46
something or you flashback to something, it's like, I feel
52:50
like therapy helps. But if if you're struggling,
52:53
like you said, open that Bible or talk to somebody who even if
52:58
you don't know anything about anything, it it, it something
53:02
starts to happen when you start to study God and the Bible.
53:07
I don't know how else to explain it other than like you did
53:09
something. It starts to transform you as
53:12
you're learning. Absolutely.
53:16
Yeah, there's just no other way around it.
53:21
I know we are coming up on 53 minutes here and this is how go
53:24
with the flow. I know, right?
53:27
And I know we are going to. Hi, Reese.
53:32
What are you getting? OK, go ahead.
53:37
Can you grab it real quick? OK.
53:43
Tell me about like tell me about what you're excited about coming
53:48
up for you, what you're involved in anything like in the in 2026
53:53
that you're you're looking forward to or is it just all of
53:58
everything you've talked about? Definitely continue to become a
54:02
better person. Yeah.
54:05
But I think I'm excited for I, I had this, this feeling that
54:10
things are really going to kick off for me in 2026.
54:13
You know, I, I really feel like I'm going to be open to like
54:15
more opportunities. I really feel like God is, is,
54:18
is ready for me to start to push through.
54:22
I think I'm going to get back into the world of, you know,
54:25
'cause I've, I've, you know, I've been, I've met City Council
54:28
members of my, of my city. I've met, you know, hang with
54:31
politicians or whatnot. I've met the police
54:33
commissioner. And I think God is going to
54:35
start to put me back in those rooms slowly but surely.
54:40
Yeah, I think I'll be 18 next year.
54:45
I'm not saying I'll be married next year, but I I think I maybe
54:50
I found my she. Yeah, maybe, maybe.
54:56
We'll see. OK, one second I'm going to.
54:59
Then I'm going to put a bar on my door and no one else is going
55:02
to come in. Hold on.
55:22
Let's see one second. That will be the last
56:03
interruption. OK, Thank you.
56:09
So sorry about that. OK, so where we were you were
56:13
talking about? And Julian, thank you for
56:15
editing. He'll edit all the the craziness
56:18
out. OK, so you, you said you might,
56:22
you might have found a special somebody it sounds like?
56:26
Perhaps I'm not going to, I'm not going to go into it here,
56:29
but. No.
56:32
But but yeah, shouts out to her. Shout out to her wherever you
56:37
may. Be I think she's mad at me right
56:38
now, but whatever, it's whatever.
56:42
I love you. Hey, hey.
56:45
Yeah, yeah, Amir. So 01 thing we didn't talk about
56:50
your poetry. Yes, OK, alright.
56:53
When, when when did you become a poet?
56:56
I've, I've, I've always like, liked the idea of writing, but
57:00
it, it wasn't really until after I kind of like got out of the
57:04
mental house. But I know, I know I kind of did
57:06
it before, but I was just like, yeah, whatever, yeah, 'cause you
57:10
know, in my writing I still have to face me.
57:13
And I, I really didn't like that.
57:15
Right. I understand and you know, if
57:17
you notice a lot of my writing, it's pretty much me talking to
57:20
myself. It's me talking to like another
57:23
side of me facing me. And but it wasn't until after I
57:29
got, I was like, man, you know, the poetry.
57:32
And I'm kind of writing rehab right now 'cause I've written so
57:36
much, you know, with art and with any type of art, you know,
57:39
when you do, you know, I have some things, I have some poems
57:42
that that's in, I call it my vault and that I have not
57:49
finished or I probably, or I, I started it and I bring it as far
57:54
as I could. But then you just, you know, it
57:57
just stops or you wait until you have something to go along with
58:01
it. And, and that's kind of where I
58:04
am in now. So I haven't written as much as
58:07
active on my writing page, but more I just finished this poem.
58:11
It was about a night of worship that we did in my church last
58:13
Friday, and that's probably gonna be the next one that I
58:16
post and it's gonna be a good one.
58:18
That's a good one. I like that.
58:20
But yeah, I recently started about, you know, may it towards
58:24
the end of May, early June. That's when I really started to
58:27
just be like, you know what? Let me let me let me start
58:30
writing. Let.
58:31
It out. It's been at the Yeah, it's.
58:34
Beautiful. I'm.
58:35
Gonna and I encourage everyone, whether it's poetry, whether
58:38
it's painting, whether it's journaling 'cause I journal as
58:41
well, but whether it's journaling, whether it's taking
58:42
a walk in nature like me, I like, I've written some of my
58:45
best poetry in nature, you know, hanging out with friends,
58:53
whatever. Whatever is the outlet for you,
58:55
please do it, Do it, do it. And who knows, you might make a
58:58
lot of money off of it. Hey, you never know, You, you
59:02
gotta get, you gotta get, you gotta get it out somehow or else
59:06
it's gonna find a way out. All those feelings like they'll
59:09
they'll find a way out and better to get him out when you
59:12
can like just be a little bit like, you know, in that state
59:17
where you're I think when you get them out, that's I think God
59:22
speaks to you too. I mean, like it sounds so like
59:28
people probably like what? But anytime I sit down to create
59:31
a real or like anything about a Bible verse or someone,
59:35
something said or guest quote, because there's like inspiration
59:38
everywhere. I feel messages from God when
59:42
I'm doing it, like I'll be like posting a quote or something.
59:46
And then God will be like, so when you're going to work on
59:49
that, you. Yeah.
59:52
And I'm like, yeah, it is. That's why I'm posting it,
59:55
because I'm working on it. Or you just get these downloads
59:57
where it's like, oh, well, if that's the case, well then what?
1:00:00
And you're like, oh, yeah. OK.
1:00:03
So it's like when you're expressing yourself, you get
1:00:05
those downloads of like what God wants to tell you, you know
1:00:10
about what you're going through. That's.
1:00:13
It but. You got to let yourself kind of
1:00:15
get it out, man, Amir. I think since I think since
1:00:23
we're over an hour, I think I could get into, let's get into a
1:00:25
little bit of politics now, huh? Hey, let's do it.
1:00:29
I mean, listen, this is, this is we love our First Amendment
1:00:34
rights on. This.
1:00:36
Podcast and we love open dialogue.
1:00:40
I think you've you've seen some of my reels with politics and,
1:00:44
and yeah, I think now more than ever we need to be talking.
1:00:50
Yeah, well, my political, I've always been in like I've always
1:00:53
enjoyed learning about politics. I've always, you know, and you
1:00:58
know, everyone in my family. In fact, someone, just one of my
1:01:02
family members asked me today, why did you have a MAGA hat on?
1:01:06
And, and you know, and you know, I grew up in, you know, liberal
1:01:10
family, a democratic family. And I was just like, man, I'm
1:01:13
not just about to keep voting just cause y'all tip.
1:01:15
I mean, well, I'm not old enough to vote.
1:01:18
I'm not old. I'm not old.
1:01:19
You will be. Yeah, but you know, I'm not
1:01:21
going to keep blindly supporting a party that I don't know
1:01:25
anything about. So let me do research on both.
1:01:28
That's the smart thing to do. And the more I did a research,
1:01:31
I'm like, wait a minute. I said, wait.
1:01:33
I said, you know, this whole welfare system that got us in
1:01:36
the mix, you know, Democrats want that right now.
1:01:38
Letting you know, no offense to anyone who might vote liberal.
1:01:40
I'm just saying, wait, just read a little bit.
1:01:42
Just read a little bit. And then me as a black person,
1:01:45
you know, of course we're always taught that, you know, vote
1:01:47
Democrat, though Democrat, Democrats supported the KKK.
1:01:53
What are you, what are you talking about?
1:01:54
In fact, under the Reagan administration, he signed a bill
1:01:58
or executive order, I'm not sure which one, to defund and
1:02:01
completely dismantle the KKK. So this the remnants of the KKK
1:02:05
out there, but they are not as big as they are now.
1:02:08
And people say the party switch. I said, OK, first of all, there
1:02:12
was one person like during that whole civil rights era, one
1:02:16
Republican that did switch over to the Democrat.
1:02:18
The rest of it was a slow process.
1:02:21
And the reason why they quote, UN quote switch was not because
1:02:25
of racist going over to another thing.
1:02:27
No, that was not the case. You had Southern Democrats and
1:02:31
you had Northern Democrats and then you had you had Southern
1:02:38
Republicans and northern Republicans.
1:02:39
We, we could say that and in, in during the civil rights
1:02:45
movement, you had different political ideologies coming in.
1:02:48
You had Marxism coming in, you had socialism coming in.
1:02:51
And so the southern, the Northern Democrats were, you
1:02:55
know, they weren't, they didn't, they didn't have that much
1:02:58
conservative values. They weren't big churchgoers.
1:03:01
They weren't, you know, they supported that.
1:03:04
And a lot of a lot of Southern Democrats didn't support that
1:03:12
because the Democratic Party, the large majority Democratic
1:03:15
Party was supporting it. And I'm trying to use it for
1:03:17
lack of better words, but basically how do I wear this?
1:03:28
Basically, it wasn't a switch of just like based on race.
1:03:31
It was a it was a switch based off of the the way people wanted
1:03:37
to vote. So even some rate, so even some
1:03:40
racist. So yeah, some racist white
1:03:44
people did go go from voting Democrat to Republican.
1:03:48
But it wasn't because of the Democrats are not supporting
1:03:52
civil rights bills. It's because they didn't want
1:03:54
Marxism. They wanted church values, They
1:03:56
wanted their southern values. And I'm not saying they they
1:04:00
would not. I'm not wrong for being racist,
1:04:03
but that's why the part is quote UN quote switch.
1:04:06
That's it was a, it was a gradual point over time of
1:04:11
people within both parties changing their values, changing
1:04:13
the way they want to do things. That's what happened.
1:04:16
And that's why you see a lot of black people in the South, they
1:04:18
tend to vote Republican. Yeah.
1:04:24
Well, and what I think is really interesting that you said is
1:04:27
that again that you were kind of just expected or you thought it
1:04:32
was like as a black person vote Democrat, right?
1:04:36
But what I think is beautiful about what you did is go out,
1:04:40
research and then form your own opinion.
1:04:45
You know what I'm saying? Like, that's literally the
1:04:47
beauty of this country. Go out, see who you agree with,
1:04:51
who you disagree with, then cast your vote.
1:04:54
Don't be programmed into voting for somebody.
1:04:57
That's that's my thing. But even in the Republican.
1:04:59
But I don't agree with everything that goes on in the
1:05:01
Republican Party. I don't.
1:05:03
But however, me as a Bible believer, I know which party
1:05:08
aligns more with my values, right?
1:05:10
I don't support the relation of children.
1:05:12
I don't support the aborting of babies.
1:05:15
I don't. And anyone who says that is
1:05:17
right. I'm gonna pray for you, OK?
1:05:19
I can't say what I want to say on this podcast, what's going on
1:05:21
YouTube, but I'm gonna just pray for you.
1:05:24
I'm gonna pray for you. And yeah, other, you know, But
1:05:29
like I said, I've always been big into politics.
1:05:31
But it wasn't until Charlie Kirk, God rest his soul, was
1:05:34
martyred. Murder.
1:05:37
You could say murder, but martyred?
1:05:40
Yeah. For his faith, for his courage,
1:05:42
that I really was like, wow, it's time to speak up.
1:05:46
It's definitely. And to see people make fun of
1:05:49
his death. You know, I had people unfollow
1:05:52
me and unfriend me or whatever people that used to middle
1:05:54
school with and said and said, oh, you support him.
1:05:57
OK, whatever. Even just a few days ago, I had
1:06:00
one person I used to go to school with.
1:06:02
She saw me and me and my friend were in a MAGA hat and she said
1:06:06
make America great again. I said yes, she said.
1:06:12
She said oh, I figured I said OK.
1:06:14
And then I just said OK, but off of that.
1:06:16
I said off of that. How are you doing?
1:06:18
Like I tried to check up on it. She's like, I don't want to talk
1:06:20
to me anymore. I don't agree with your point of
1:06:21
view. I said bye.
1:06:26
Like the only person I answered to is God.
1:06:28
Like I don't have to and I don't answer to you, you know?
1:06:34
And the entitlement of the left is insane.
1:06:37
Like y'all can, y'all can. Literally yuck.
1:06:41
Can you still hear me? Oh, I can still hear.
1:06:42
You OK? It said reconnecting on my it
1:06:45
said reconnecting OK and not this man was killed.
1:06:53
He has he has two little children, he has a widow and
1:06:57
y'all made fun of his death. And so for me, the Democratic
1:07:00
Party ever since then, I can't I, you're not y'all don't y'all
1:07:03
not more. And even the government
1:07:05
shutdown, that was a whole Democratic shutdown.
1:07:08
The Republicans try 14 times to pass the bill.
1:07:11
And the Democrats said no. They are playing games with the
1:07:15
American people. They're playing games with the
1:07:17
lives of people and they make fun of it and they love it.
1:07:22
And, and people are always being Republicans for everything.
1:07:26
I'm in Philly, this this city has been Democrat for I don't
1:07:29
know how long. We have one of the highest
1:07:31
murder rates off the end the five top major cities that the
1:07:34
highest murder rates. They all have Democratic.
1:07:36
They're all democratic run cities with the strictest gun
1:07:39
laws. How how's that possible?
1:07:42
You're not going to stop a criminal from you know, and it's
1:07:45
just it's just common sense. But no, ever since Charlie Kirk
1:07:48
was martyred, I really have been at boat and talk about politics
1:07:51
and pick up the mic and share my voice and my friends.
1:07:55
You know, we're all conservatives.
1:07:56
We're all black conservatives. They call us.
1:07:59
They call us Uncle Toms. They call us.
1:08:01
They call in. For some reason, when we say we
1:08:03
conserve, they automatically assume that we just want only
1:08:06
like white women. For some reason I'm like what I.
1:08:10
Say I say like that see they yeah, so so interesting to me.
1:08:18
Like you're, you get called that, but you're like, this just
1:08:25
blows my mind. Like the assumptions people
1:08:27
make, you know, it's like, like what?
1:08:30
But also, but but also they'd be like, they'd be like, you're
1:08:33
black and you first of all, my redemption comes from God.
1:08:36
It doesn't come from making an idol out of my skin color.
1:08:40
My skin color doesn't save me. The blood of Jesus does.
1:08:44
And so when everyone be talking about this race thing, I can't
1:08:48
get down with it. I don't know.
1:08:50
And me and my friends were all black and we don't subscribe to
1:08:53
it. I'm not saying racist people are
1:08:54
out there, but I posted on my story like a week ago.
1:08:57
I said this race is racism still out there.
1:08:59
Don't know, don't care. Because at the end of the day, I
1:09:03
can't keep I I can't go through like, like no matter how much I
1:09:07
point the finger at someone else, this is that gonna pay my
1:09:10
future bills when I whenever I am in no stop it, stop it.
1:09:15
Seriously, stop it. And so ain't no Hispanic person,
1:09:20
ain't no white person, ain't no black person gonna stop me from
1:09:23
being great. Period.
1:09:27
My redemption comes. My redemption comes from God.
1:09:31
My greatness, my value comes from God.
1:09:33
Not a party, not a party. The Republican Party doesn't
1:09:37
give me my value. The Libertarian Party doesn't
1:09:40
give me my value. The Democratic Party doesn't
1:09:43
give me my value. The Green Party don't give me my
1:09:45
value. My my value comes from God.
1:09:52
Amen. And truth be be told, I'm more
1:09:54
of an independent libertarian. I happen to lean towards
1:09:57
Republican candidates, so. Sure, sure.
1:10:00
Yeah. No, technically I'm a registered
1:10:03
independent, but I and, and 15 years ago I was like liberal.
1:10:08
And then I grew up and looked around and started working and
1:10:11
had kids and I was like, oh hell no, Hell no.
1:10:15
You're not gonna be like keeping my child's gender from me at
1:10:20
school. And then what?
1:10:22
Planning like I'm in California, so like don't even I mean it's
1:10:25
like a all my friends are like how you doing out there in
1:10:28
California? I'm like, but I'm the same Amir,
1:10:33
ever since Charlie Kirk, I literally had never posted about
1:10:38
politics. Now I'm like, go ahead,
1:10:42
unfollow, unsubscribe, whatever. He he was fighting to keep what
1:10:50
most countries don't have freedom of speech.
1:10:54
And if you don't like it, step up to the mic and talk it out
1:10:57
using your brain, not violence, not and and and thank you for
1:11:02
like just bringing it up because I think this has been a great
1:11:05
time for me to step up. I haven't used, I haven't used
1:11:09
this in April, I put a cross on my I had this experience with
1:11:13
God and I put a cross on the logo.
1:11:15
Charlie died. I put like a American flag in
1:11:19
the back. But I have not come out like
1:11:22
this and really said like I am worried for where this country
1:11:28
goes in. This country, no matter what no
1:11:32
one says, and I don't care who likes it or not, this country
1:11:36
was found in Judeo-christian values.
1:11:39
And by God, I know as far as as long as I live, I will fight to
1:11:43
preserve that. Yeah.
1:11:45
So no, you, you, I, I I don't support the abortion of
1:11:48
children. Like I said earlier, I don't
1:11:50
support the mutilation of children's genital parts.
1:11:56
Yeah, I don't agree with burning cities down.
1:11:59
I don't agree with the victim mentality that everyone is
1:12:02
oppressed 'cause I'm not oppressed.
1:12:03
I'm not. I don't.
1:12:04
I mean, you might be, you know, but then I just don't subscribe
1:12:07
to that lifestyle. All my choices every month,
1:12:10
every one of my misfortunes in my life has happened because it
1:12:12
was me, no one else. You know, I don't agree with no
1:12:20
disrespect to women, but I don't agree with women should not have
1:12:24
children. I don't agree that men should go
1:12:27
5050 with women. Stop it, Beta male, stop it.
1:12:31
Stop it, go out, work, make a family, surprise your family.
1:12:35
I would, I would want to get married young, have children
1:12:37
young, do good Christian way. And you know, I, I want to
1:12:42
preserve the judeo-christian value culture.
1:12:45
And I know I'm new to this. Like I said, you know, early,
1:12:47
I'm new, I'm new, I'm new to Christianity.
1:12:49
Oh, but when God, when God gives you inspiration, Oh, you better,
1:12:54
you better act on it because one of the first things he'll ask
1:12:58
you in a day of judgment, what did you do with the time that I
1:13:00
gave you and the talents that I gave you?
1:13:03
We all have time. What do you do with your with
1:13:06
the time that you have? And with that, I'm gonna end it
1:13:09
off with a prayer. Beautiful.
1:13:12
Matter of fact, no, no, wait. Before I do that, I just want to
1:13:17
say to everyone out there who's going through a hard time,
1:13:22
whether with faith, mental health or whatever, you're not
1:13:25
alone. You are not.
1:13:27
You are not alone. God got you.
1:13:30
Use your avenues that you can call up a friend, journal, do
1:13:34
whatever you need to do to get up out of that dark space.
1:13:37
And as far as this Sunday, go to church, go to church, go to
1:13:42
church. Your pastor is better than your
1:13:44
favorite podcaster. Yes.
1:13:48
That's so good. Yeah.
1:13:50
Yeah. So let's pray.
1:13:53
Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank
1:13:56
you for this time together today.
1:13:59
We thank you for waking us up. We thank you for a new chance at
1:14:02
life to become better human beings.
1:14:05
We thank you for the good, the bad, the mad, and the sad.
1:14:11
We, we, we, we thank you. We thank you, Jesus for your
1:14:16
coming down to us and redeeming us of our sins on the cross to
1:14:20
where anyone who believes in you shall not perish but have
1:14:23
everlasting life. We ask that you continue to
1:14:26
allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within us in order help us to
1:14:31
line our minds up with your mind and your heart and your Spirit
1:14:34
to become one Spirit, to become one with you.
1:14:38
We have we ask you that you help us to walk like in the books of
1:14:43
Acts and the Apostles. Walk with humility, walk with
1:14:46
kindness, walk with love, walk with righteousness.
1:14:51
And we ask that you allow us and help us to carry out this
1:14:54
mission of keeping conservative Christian values into this
1:15:02
nation. And I pray for everyone under
1:15:05
the sound of my voice that is going through a tough time, that
1:15:09
you may heal them, that you may bless them, that you may show
1:15:12
them your unyielding hand, the Alpha and Omega in Jesus name,
1:15:18
Amen. Amen.
1:15:22
Thank you. I'm here.
1:15:23
Thank you so much for having me. This has been a a time.
1:15:26
This has been a time. You're filling my heart with a
1:15:32
lot of joy and I'm so grateful to be a stop on your journey,
1:15:37
which I know is going to be really cool to watch.
1:15:41
I can't wait to see what you do. Thank you.
1:15:44
You're already. Doing it, but I'm just going to
1:15:46
be eating popcorn watching. Yes, and cheering and cheering.
1:15:50
You know, one of these days, you know I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind
1:15:54
being here for Part 2, Part 3, you know, in the future, maybe
1:15:58
if God wills, if God wills, if God.
1:16:00
Wills you to be our youngest correspondent on a regular
1:16:04
basis. It will be done.
1:16:07
You know and and you know, once you are, once you post this
1:16:10
video, whatever. If if anyone reaches out to you
1:16:12
and is felt inspired by my story or feel inspired or they need
1:16:16
someone to talk to, send them my Instagram.
1:16:19
I will. Text.
1:16:20
Me show. Notes and text and text me and
1:16:22
let me know that look, I'm sending this.
1:16:24
I sent this person here Instagram, they they would like
1:16:27
I would have no problem. I would have no problem because
1:16:30
you know, God calls us to be servants first.
1:16:33
Yes, you've, we've seen adversity, you've seen
1:16:36
adversity. And thank you for being here.
1:16:39
Thank you for turning your tough times into your testimony.
1:16:44
Yes, which is a beautiful testimony.
1:16:46
Thank you. Thank you so much.
1:16:48
With that, we're going to close out Episode 72 with the one and
1:16:53
only Amir, first of many. And with that, we're going to
1:16:57
closeout season 2. Amir, you just closed out a
1:17:00
beautiful season 2. Thank you so much and I.
1:17:03
Can't wait for this. To reach everybody that it's
1:17:06
going to touch. Thank you.
1:17:07
Thank you. Take care.
1:17:09
Take care.