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Jaliza's Testimony · The BLAZE (Bible Study)

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The Blaze Barber Studies, sell Out Radio show with your brother DJ Sam Rock
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aka Sam Lopez, and you're listening at Soul Winners with a Z the O
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RG, which is sell Out Radio Network two four seven to sell Out Radio
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player. Thank you so much for coming through. We're also streaming on all
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the social media platforms audio only today, Amen. For a special guest that
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we have today, her name is Sister Julyssa. Amen. I'm putting the
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system in front of her name, but you know she's my little sister in
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Christ and she has a story to tell, a story of how God changed
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her life. We call it a testimony. If you never went through a
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test, you won't have a testimony. Amen. And we're all going through
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tests in life. Amen. So, and I also know someone she knows,
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a distant cousin on the Clemente side of my family, by way of
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my grandmother's side. So without further ado, we're gonna bring Melissa in on
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and share her testimony. God bless you, my sister. Thank you so
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much for coming through. Thank you for having me and letting me have this
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opportunity. Amen. Amen, It's going to be a great time, great
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opportunity. Because we're going to experience what God could do in a life of
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a person that simply said yes to let God stop working in your life.
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As soon as you said yes. I think the hardest part was getting to
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the point where you say, Okay, God, I'm here. I trust
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you, I believe in you do your work right. Yes, man,
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So share real quickly about who you are, how old are you from the
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time of this recording, and where you're from. Okay, Well, my
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name is Delissa. I'm twenty six. I'll be twenty seven in December.
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I was born in Allentown, raised in Alltown, moved around a lot.
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I lived in Newtown over between Pittsburgh and Maryland for a little bit, but
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my whole life I grew up in church, so I've always known God.
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Yes, I've had plenty of tests and they weren't the easiest. But now
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looking back, I am going to like this healing process. I'm seeing a
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Christian therapy. Looking back, I now can see God in all of it,
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and it just wows me. I've reached a point where, like every
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I've seen everything differently and I just broke down crying and thinking God. Even
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though like any other normal person, would look at it like, oh my
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gosh, you've had such a horrible life. Like I can look back now
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like no, God was there, because it could have been so much worse.
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God saved my life and protected me in ways that I could have never
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understood then. And now I am slowly I'm still a work in progress.
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Of course I'm not perfect, but I do you know, I'm starting to
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realize now and have the discernment that I didn't have then. So you said
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you grew up. You said you grew up in the church and you've known
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God. Now we have to break that down a little bit for the listeners
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because I know they hear that a lot, and we get made fun of
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a lot when a lot of people hear of testimony to say, well,
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she grew up in church. How come she didn't, you know, know
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God? And then that she knows God? Now, I think it was
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because we had to make a decision. Right now. On my end,
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I didn't grow up in church, right, so it's a little different.
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Amen. But I knew about Jesus because I heard the story, I heard
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what he did. I just felt that he did that for everybody else accept
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me, And you know, I was associated with the Catholic Church and all
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that when I was growing up, So sometimes I would say the same thing
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you said, Yeah, I know I knew God. You know I knew
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of God of God. Yeah, because a lot of people hear that and
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they if you if you guys knowing God all that time? Come, I'm
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sorry. I just wanted to clarify that because I already know. I didn't
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even think of it that way, but you're absolutely right. Yeah, Okay,
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continue going, go ahead. I grew up with a lot of like
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abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, stuff like that, and I've never
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seen like I never understood why. And now I feel like now is my
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time to tell my story because a lot of women go through these things.
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A lot of even young women go through these things and they don't speak up
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and feel like they need to keep it to themselves. And this is me
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breaking that silence and breaking that change also while facing it myself and going through
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this healing process. So I started to see God more when I was doing
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things that I wasn't supposed to be doing. I grew up like really stripped
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on oh yeah, no drugs, no this, no that. Because I
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grew up with a surrounded by drug like marijuana and stuff like that. So
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eventually I hit eighteen and I left my mom's house. And I feel like
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leaving my mom's house, I left that covering, you know, because my
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mom prayed over us all the time. My mom like had faith that God
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had us in his hands at all times. And she really inspires me because
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of that. And I'm really trying to be that same way for my daughter.
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And so when I got surrounded by these people, I started drinking and
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smoking and smoking cigarettes and you know, doing things that I was totally again
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before and try to encourage all my friends to stop doing. But when you're
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surrounded by such a lot of people, right, it seems like to say
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something not to do, they're going to bring up, Oh, but you
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did it, you know, just recently in the Stabad third right, like
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a lot of like pre op pressure we call it. And then you know,
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when I when you were going through that, every time every time I
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saw you, I would hug you and say, don't worry, if you're
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right, everything be right. I knew you were going through it, but
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I had this feeling in my heart that said, man, she's gonna have
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to go through that. But she's gonna come to the Lord full one day.
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I knew it. I trusted and that me and your mom had prayed
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about it. I just I just always have my eyes on you for whatever
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reason, as my little sister in Christ. I knew that one day we
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was going to do this. I just I don't understand. I don't know
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how I knew. I just knew she's going to be before. So it's
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like you definitely knew. You instilled it in me like that one day,
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like I would be doing this. Yeah, you know, I have this
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thing with you know, people are gonna call me superstitious, but I'm a
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man of God. It's not superstitious. This is something that God gave me,
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and it kind of scares me. If I look into people's eyes,
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I could see the window of their soul and I could see where they are.
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That's why I try hard not to really have an eye contact. So
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a lot of people when they talk to me, they noticed that try to
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like look somewhere else because my eye contact. If we lock eyes. God
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usually shows me some things and then I don't. They're not bad things.
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It's just that he'll show me pain, he'll show me hurt, He'll show
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me things that we might be going through it at that time that a person
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might be going through it freaks me out. I shouldn't be afraid of the
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gift that God gave me, but just the way I am. Now you
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have to pray for me on that. But I'm sorry to keep on going
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so because that people know that I've known you before, so I could testify
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this testimony. Yeah, yeah, I got. That's my we in Transformation
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Church, like that is my church. I've been changed. I've watched myself
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grow and change so much in this church. I have left a couple of
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times because yes, like I was doing things, and like my spirit knew
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I was doing things that I shouldn't be doing, so I didn't feel right
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coming to church. I was very depressed, and I allowed the depression and
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spirits to over me, and then on top of that the spirits of all
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my friends attaching themselves. So eventually I needed money really badly, and I
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was in a bad depression, and I was in my early twenties. I
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was twenty two. I started. I ended up working at a strip club
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as the check in girl. Like I used to scan people's IDs and let
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them have them pay me to get into the club. That place was probably
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my darkest place ever. I've seen things that I've never experienced, you know,
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it was harder drugs. I've watched girls od in the bathroom and cops
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show up in the building while people were being snuck out the back of the
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building so they wouldn't be caught. I've seen girls like totally go to their
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lowest to be able to make ends meet. It was just a very sad,
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dark place, and I ended up starting taking ecstasy pills and like for
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the first time there, and I moved in with somebody who was really addicted
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to them, and we were taking them every day for I want to say,
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a month or two months straight? Many how many of those pills For
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the people that are curious about taking it, which we don't suggest you do,
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but how many pills do you take? Like you said you could take
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them every day, Like how many pills? I would take a pill a
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day? So every night. My job was an overnight job, so we
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wouldn't be be leaving till like two or three in the morning, and it
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was just something we would do to keep ourselves up after work because then that
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was our time to be able to go out and party ourselves. Oh okay,
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okay, So did it make you hallucinate though, No, it just
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enhances whatever emotions you're feeling. Yeah, so yeah, I don't recommend it.
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Sometimes it's used for sexual pleasures. I didn't use it in those ways.
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I more so used it so I can be able to drink and not
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be hungover, or drink and not get too drunk because it wouldn't let you
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get too drunk. It kept you at a certain level. I used just
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to be able to dance and like, you know, have fun and my
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ways like and my eyes in those days, and be able to enjoy myself
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without feeling sick or guilty, like it was just like another way to dumb
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myself, addictive pill of those things. Yes, I do not recommend to
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even try it, because I took it once and it sent me down such
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a spiral. God tried to warn me so any time to stop, and
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that I needed to get out of my surroundings. I would be sick,
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and the girl would still want to go out and party, and like I
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felt like I had bronchitis once and she wanted to go out party all the
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time and still keep taking these pills, and like, you set it up
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so that I had no choice to go out with her, like leave her
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keys at home or or I made a copy of my own keys and she
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would leave her keys at home. Or she'd be like, oh, no,
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you can't go home because I have the keys and I'll be locked out
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if you're home. Like it was kind of just like a peer pressure constantly
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thing. And one day I was working a morning shift and randomly in the
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club, I hear them playing Shackles by Mary Mary, and I was like,
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no, way, they're playing this song in this area, Like it
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was just weird to me, and I was just like, didn't see it
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then, But that was God's first like calling to me, like because it
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was like, when do you ever think you would hear a gospel song playing
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in the strip club? The second time, I was taking pictures and I
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didn't realize on these pills, I wasn't eating, like I wasn't hungry.
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Anytime I would feel myself coming down, I would drink orange juice and it
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would make me feel like it was coming back up, and then by the
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end of the night I would take another one. So it was like it
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was really bad and I wasn't eating, I wasn't really keeping myself hydrated or
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taking care of myself the way I should have been. And when I took
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a picture, I could see my ribcage and I was like, like,
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I got to stop. But that didn't make me stop, Like it was
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like God was trying to warn me. And the third time, my person
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that I usually get them off of she didn't have any. So we went
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to our usual after hours nightclub that we would go to after work, and
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like, by that point, I was really addicted to them, Like I
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was angry that I couldn't get any that day. And then we met two
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people. And my roommate was very trusting and she used to invite like a
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lot of random people over to our house to smoke and drink with us at
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home, and that night we ran into two random people. She said she
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knew the other one. I don't know how true that was, but he
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said that he had some. So his friend ended up driving us to his
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house to go get it. And at that point I was like, I
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don't care who gives it to me. I just want one. Mind you
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all the other times that I've taken it. At this point, it was
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like a very like energizing feeling like I was dancing. I just was talked
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a lot like it was good in my eyes, quote unquote. This day,
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we took it from somebody else and she ended up inviting them over.
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We were smoking and I'm talking, and in the middle of me talking,
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I'm completely forgetting what I'm talking about, Like I had to keep asking them
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what we were we talking about, like in the middle of a sentence,
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like you was like it didn't make sense to me. I then went to
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the bathroom to wash my face off and use the bathroom, and I sat
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down and I was trying to continue talking to them, and I can't even
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hold my head up at this point or keep my eyes open, and I
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was just like, I don't feel right. And when I went in the
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bathroom to wash my face again, I come out and one of the guys
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was sitting like on a chair she had right outside the bathroom door, and
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he was like grabbing me and pulling me onto him, and instantly I was
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uncomfortable. I already was feeling right, so I was just like, you
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know what, I'm gonna go to my room and I was like telling my
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roommate, and I was just like, something doesn't feel right, Like I
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just need to go lay down. Mind you. All the other times it
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would keep us up until like eleven in the afternoon or like it was like
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not something that made you want to sleep. And the minute I went and
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I hit my bed, I felt like I couldn't move, like it took
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a lot of out of me just to lift an arm, like I took
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everything in me to lift an arm. And the guy that was sitting outside
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the bath room came up to my room and took advantage of me. And
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after that, I was like, I'm done. I'm not taking these no
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more. And I was trying to tell her that, and she wasn't liking
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that I was telling her that I'm not doing this. Somewhere, we had
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a big falling out, ended up having to move out her house and I
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moved in with my best friend. This is all around like October, November,
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November, and then I stopped taking them. After that that was like
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my wake up call, like all right, that wasn't okay, that wasn't
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right, Like and this is like this is already the third thing that God
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is trying to show me, Like I need to stop doing this, Like
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I put myself in this situation, like, Wow, how did you know?
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How did you know? It was? God kept on warning you,
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because then I went to go do it again for my birthday, which,
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like I said, is in December. I was like, I'm going to
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do it again for my birthday just because it's my birthday and I want to
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be able to drink and enjoy myself or whatever, but not realizing that like
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something was wrong with my body. I didn't feel right, like with my
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body. My friend kept encouraging me to take a pregnancy test, and I
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went and I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant three days
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before I was about to do it again. Wow, And that is what
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made me stop. Really, Yes, finding out I was pregnant. I
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didn't want to hurt my kid, and even though I knew where she was
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from, I was kind of upset, you know at first, and I
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was second guessing myself, like should I really keep this kid? Like this
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is that like what I planned on my first kid, you know what I
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mean? Like I wanted to be married. I wanted to you know,
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have a family, like so I kept second guessing it but I told myself
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no, because I believe in God, and God said, this is not
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okay. It's like, it's not the baby's fault. It's not the baby's
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fault that this happened to me. I put myself in a situation. So
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now you know, I have to deal with this. So in high school,
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let me rewind a little bit. In high school, I had drove
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past the church and it said like evangelical or something like that, and I
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was just like, oh, wow, like evangelist would make such a beautiful
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name for a little girl, even though I don't. And that point,
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I wasn't planning on having no kids no time soon. But it was always
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my dream to be a mom, like and you know, have a family.
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And so later back to this, I find out I'm pregnant and I
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decided I'm going to keep it, and then I find out I'm having a
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girl. I was having dreams before I found out that I had a girl,
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that I was having a girl. Wow, And like yeah, And
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I feel like a lot of times God speaks to me in my dreams.
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I've like heard his voice and known it was his voice just because I felt
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it in my spirit when he spoke. I started going to church again when
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I was pregnant and trying to turn my life around. I got my license,
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I now have my apartment. It's just everything started to slowly fall in
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place, and I just stopped everything. Like and I just found out recently
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talking to a coworker of mine who died from fentanyl overdose and was brought back
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to life about the situation. I was telling her my testimony a little bit,
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and she told me what I was feeling that night was symptoms of a
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fent and al overdose. Wow. So the fact that I wanted to go
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to sleep, I could have went to sleep and never woke up. M
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And but I turned it, turned the bad into something good, not just
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what my daughter, but saving my life. I could have died life with
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a purpose. So that whole crowd that you you know, they just hang
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out with, work with and take the ecstasy pills and all that. What
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happened to the oh is working at another bar now. When I was working
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at the club still before I found out I was pregnant. When I first
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without her apartment, she got fired because she kept trying to fight me because
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I was telling people what happened in her house, and she felt like I
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was blaming her. I don't it was mainly her that I did it with.
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I ended up when I found out I was pregnant. I got fired
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when I gave birth. I was desperate for money and thought of going back,
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but they kept like giving me the run around, and I feel like
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that was God tells me not to backtrack myself, and I was like,
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okay, like I hear you, and looking back, a lot of the
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abuse that I went through could have been worse if God didn't intervene somehow the
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first time that I was sexually abused, or it could have went a step
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further than what it was going. My mom found me and realized I wasn't
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in my bed because God sent her to go check on me randomly that night,
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and she found me in the basement with the man. It's just so
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many times that God has shown up and shown out for me, and I
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just looked at the bad of it all, and now I looked at it
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like while he was there, like this could have happened, and he was
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there. That same man that started the cycle of abuse for me in that
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way ended up on his deathbed alone in quarantined because my mom told God that
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she was leaving it in his hands because she wanted to deal with it herself,
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and the cops weren't really doing anything about it. So once she finally
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left it in God's hands, you know, she come to find out a
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couple I don't know if it was a couple of years later or later,
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she found out he died in quarantine alone, and pinky wow wow. Because
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the Avengers belongs to the Lord, so we have a similarity there. Although
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I wasn't sexually abused. When I first lost my virginity, I was fifteen
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years old, and at that time when I was growing up, that was
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late. You know, my friends were losing their virginity at eleven twelve years
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old, and I'm over here fifteen. But I was very popular in junior
22:26
high school. So the girl that you know took she literally took my virginity.
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Is she thought I knew what I was doing, so I didn't know
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nothing. I was just you know, faking it. And then she was
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like, okay, so she showed me what to do and afterwards she started
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crying, and I'm like, this is this normal? Why are you crying?
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And she had shared with me that she was abused by her uncle,
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a relative, and I was like what she was like, yeah, so
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that means in the spiritual realm. I didn't know about it then, but
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I know now that actually tied up with that spirit, that that man was
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sexually abusing her. And here I am with her now sharing that type of
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things. So we have that in common. Although I wasn't sexually abused,
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but I was, you know, kind of like poisoned by that by what
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happened. Because then, although I didn't molest anyone or anything like that,
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but I was tied into that spirit and we call those soul ties. And
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then from there from fifteen, the same year I got diviginized, same year
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my dad died, same year the girl broke out with me, same year
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I met my son's mom, same year I started just wilding out all the
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way from fifteen to thirty years old. You know, I had a sexual
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addiction. I wanted to be with every girl that I met, and it
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was just a spiral. So when a sexual abuse or sexual addiction, all
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that stuff, it stems from somewhere. And I believe now that I've been
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saved since two thousand and one, I believe that was a spirit and they
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try to keep you bound to those things. They try to keep you bounce
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to sex, drugs, alcohol and all those things. So I could testify
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that trick you you will because like I have, like all those decisions I
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made were like, oh, it can't be that bad. Everybody else is
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doing it, like you know, like that little voice in your head like,
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and I reacted off instinct. I didn't want to be the one that
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stuck out. And now I'm okay being the one that sticks out. Isn't
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that crazy? Now? We definitely stick out now because a lot of my
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friends went back in the day, they don't want no part of me because
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they think I'm into some kind of religion or some kind of cults. And
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you know, they judge me. It's crazy. I laughed, because I
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thought we were supposed to be the judgmental people, but they actually judge me
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and say, oh, you think you're better than us, and just that
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and the third. But as we got older, a lot of my boys
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they respect me, and they've grown men with families as well now and they
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respect me and I respect them. But they know where I staying, They
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know where I stand. I want, I want everybody to be saved and
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get this experience that you got so we could testify about it. So good.
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I'm sorry, you're fine. And that's how my friends are now too,
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though, Like they always say, I'm the good, godly one,
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and they're all like acting up and they're like, but if they ever have
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questions, they'll ask me, which makes me feel good and you know,
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sharing some of my stories with them when they're going through things that I can
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relate to. I from the age of eighteen, the minute I left my
25:30
mom's house, I was sleeping on couches and you know, living with other
25:34
people, like having problems those people moving out to somebody else's house. So
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it's like I had to kind of fend for myself a lot. And then
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I didn't realize how much more I could do if I just changed myself and
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follow God. Unless my life in God's hands. And so why I had
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my daughter and because like now, I just want to give her everything that
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I couldn't having my child there there that you know, like everything that I
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felt I didn't have, you know, and my daughter is very attached to
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me. She's right by you, and you can see that she's going to
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you. Know, continue on the life that you lived saved. She's going
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to continue that. I could see that because I know that you have a
26:21
testimony and you have something to say, and you could relate. You know,
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people think that once we become Christian, we forget about where we came
26:29
from, and that's that's a lie from the devil. We don't forget.
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I've never forgotten where I came from. I know exactly where I was and
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what I was doing when I got saved, and when I gave my life
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to God. I was drunk and high. I was in a bad situation.
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You know, I was an adultry and you know I was smoking and
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drinking, and I know exactly where I was. So why would I try
26:48
to hide that and say, oh, I never did that. That's a
26:51
lie. But God got me out of the lives and he got you out
26:53
of the lives as well. So but when people that's why we could relate
26:56
to people that other people might not be able to relate to because they never
27:02
been through it, which is good. I always tell people who grew up
27:03
in church, like pastors, kids and kids that you know grew up in
27:07
the church and they never you know, got wild and never smoked ry.
27:11
I said, you guys are blessed for that. You know, don't don't
27:14
don't do it. I know they get curious as about well I want to
27:18
try, and I said, now I don't do It's not worth it.
27:19
But sometimes you know they do it anyway. Because dark cycles. It actually
27:27
makes depression worse. It makes it be worse. Wow, it makes you
27:33
paranoid. My depression, it just numbed me for the moment and a minute
27:38
I came back to my reality. It was so much harder for me because
27:41
now I let it go on for too long, running from it, and
27:45
then I open thewhelmed myself, like I just it's not it doesn't do any
27:52
good at all. Yeah, and then if you get the wrong one like
27:56
I did, it can almost kill you, if not kill you. It's
28:03
sad because I've lost a friend of mine. I'd actually worked at the Ship
28:07
club with me. He was a security guard for the front and he was
28:11
younger. I mean he's like had just turned twenty one when I was working
28:15
with him. I think he was like twenty three somewhere around there. He
28:21
said, the pill went to sleep and didn't wake up. Yeah, that
28:23
could have been me. Yeah, and it's odd to think like that could
28:26
have been me if I went to sleep that night. Wow, isn't it
28:32
crazy that those people will trust them, will trust like the people who are
28:36
giving us weeds and drugs, and we literally trust them with our lives.
28:41
And then it's so hard sometimes to trust God that gave us life. It's
28:45
just the devil. He knows how to paint sin real pretty. He knows
28:48
how to paint sex before marriage real pretty. He knows how to paint alcohol
28:52
and being drunk and all those things that we know that not good for us.
28:56
He just paints it real pretty and makes it look like it's thing to
29:00
do. But look, we trust those people, like in Halloween. We're
29:04
recording this on Halloween. I'm not gonna send my kids out and trust strangers
29:08
to get candy and something that they'll eat that might be poisoned. I'm not
29:14
that parent, you know. And I'm not saying that the parents who allow
29:17
their kids to go trigger treating that you're bad parents. I'm just trying to
29:19
challenge the way of thinking and be like, do you really notice people that
29:23
you allowing for them to give your kids candy that they're going to eat do
29:29
you trust these people? Do you know these people? And I've done it.
29:32
I did it for years, so I can't point fingers. And I
29:34
used to tricker treat myself. But I'm like, isn't it crazy that we'll
29:37
trust strangers and we won't trust God so easily? But once you do trust
29:44
God, you realize that, Wow. God is a good God. He
29:48
gives us life, gets us free from all the sexual addictions and drugs.
29:52
And I always tell people I don't smoke no more, I don't drink them
29:53
while having smoked a blunt or weed since two thousand and one, havn't drink
29:57
since two thousand and one. I have been cheated on my wife since two
30:00
thousand and one. So that's all God, by the grace of God,
30:04
right. But the thing is, I am high still, but I have
30:07
a supernatural high. I don't have to drink no more, smoke no more.
30:11
I'm on a supernatural high. That's why I could go to my old
30:15
neighborhood and hang out with the guys and they'll look at me like, yo,
30:18
you smoke the sun said, Nah, I'm good. I don't smoke,
30:21
but I could get on their level because I have a high from the
30:23
Lord, and he gives us this drunkenness and the spirit. He gives us
30:27
this high in him, and we could flow and be pure and still have
30:33
a good time. And now I'm curious to know why. You know,
30:36
I don't know why I'm going here, but it's for somebody. Why are
30:38
we dancing? No more like when I was in the clubs. I used
30:41
to be a club promoter. I used to dance and break dance and you
30:45
know, do all the kind of club dancing and everything. When I became
30:48
a Christian, I thought, I thought that I had to stop that.
30:52
And my elders and the brothers in Creston, why would you stop celebrating and
30:56
dancing now that you're in Christ celebrating in the world, dancing in the world.
31:02
Why wouldn't you. So I'm curious why a lot of my brothers and
31:04
sisters in Christ, when I'm a Christian DJ, I throw on music and
31:08
they all look at me like they're afraid to dance. No, get ahead
31:11
and dance, Go ahead and celebrate. Because I have a sister in Christ
31:15
that goes to our church and she puts a video. She's always Latin dancing
31:19
Southsa dancing, dancing to club music because she's free. It's a celebration.
31:25
She's celebrating that she's free from the old life and now she's celebrating dancing.
31:29
There's actually a scripture in the Bible that says God dances over us. So
31:33
we should be in celebration mode, so that way we stay away from depression.
31:37
We should keep dancing, so that way we won't dance for the devil.
31:40
No the mode, we'll be dancing for the Lord. You know what
31:41
I'm saying. So as a DJ, it bugs me out when I start
31:45
playing good music and people look at you like, oh, I can't dance.
31:48
No, go ahead and dance. It's okay to celebrate life. And
31:52
man, we only have this short time over here on this side, and
31:55
then we have for eternity. So in eternity, you come to my manchion,
31:57
you come to my room. Whatever it's gonna look like I haven't.
32:00
It's gonna be music, it's gonna be popular, everything's gonna be, you
32:04
know, in celebration mode, because we're gonna we're gonna go through a lot
32:07
here. But on the other side would be we'll gonna be all right.
32:10
So he really does like a peace. Like like recently a friend of mine,
32:16
I was going through a lot in like a week, and my best
32:20
friend was just like like, this is so weird, Like usually you're freaking
32:22
out and like like you can tell you have anxiety and all this, and
32:28
I'm just like, no, I'm okay. Like surprisingly, I'm okay.
32:32
Yeah, I just didn't tout in God like it is what it is,
32:36
will turn around or turn to something good, you know what I mean.
32:38
Yeah, I think that that will hit you hard. He hits you so
32:42
hard because he probably knew something that you didn't know at the moment, that
32:46
how powerful God was going to use your testimony in your life for the Kingdom
32:50
of God so we could start snatching people out of the kingdom of the devil
32:53
in the kingdom of darkness. He didn't want you to get to know the
32:58
truth. He didn't want you to get saved and born again. He didn't
33:00
want none of that for you. Because now you could actually say, well,
33:02
I don't have to take this no more, I don't have to do
33:05
that no more to be happy, I have to join the low of the
33:07
Lord. And then you know, I see you at all the conferences pretty
33:10
much at the youth events, the young adults events, and you're just not
33:15
afraid to express your love for God there. And I'm pretty sure you're not
33:19
afraid to express your love of God in front of anybody. But when people
33:22
don't understand us right as believers, I understand it. It could be a
33:25
little intimidating because sometimes I get intimidated. But yeah, we still celebrate the
33:30
fact that we're saved. My friends respected, Like they always tell me that,
33:36
Like, yeah, I always make jokes and stuff, and they're like
33:37
bro like as like we know we believe in God and we know it works
33:42
for you. And that makes me so happy that they can have that talk
33:46
with me. Like my one friend even said to me, like I need
33:51
to have a turnaround like you did, like a reality check. She said,
33:54
like something needs to put me in my place. And you know,
33:59
she did stot in a car accident. They told her car and that turned
34:02
her around. Like she's been going to work on time now and you know,
34:07
going on her days off stuff like that, because she's really trying to
34:10
get her life together and it really makes me happy and I'm happy that she
34:15
made it out that accident. Not he along with the rest of our friends
34:19
that were in that car because they were all hung a man, so thank
34:23
you so much. I mean, do you have more? Because I want
34:27
you to really close out. If you were speaking to your daughter like at
34:32
your age and say you were like a older if you were her mom and
34:37
you were her aunt or a good friend, and she was your age,
34:42
what would you tell her about God at that point unless you have more of
34:45
your testimony, because share more of your testimony. What if not you could
34:51
finalize it like that thinking of your daughter and saying I'm going to be she's
34:54
going to be your age and you're going to be maybe her friend, a
34:58
best friend. What would you tell her God? It's okay to feel,
35:02
just don't let your emotions overtake you and allow you to make decisions that you
35:09
wouldn't make. What a clear mind. It's okay to forgive. You can
35:15
forget, but like not to the point where if you're going through it again,
35:22
you're allowing it to happen. No, and allowing yourself back into that
35:28
cycle. Don't be stuck, set out your comfort zone. Speak up,
35:35
don't let your trauma keep you where you are. Don't let fear keep you
35:39
where you are trust God. I allowed my daughter back in her dad's life
35:49
after four or five months. It's kind of rough for me. It is
35:53
like I was diagnosed with PPSB like in twenty sixteen. I don't claim it.
36:01
I'm not my past trauma and they that made me who I am today.
36:08
It was all for a reason. But my daughter's dad's beliefs are completely
36:15
different than mine. So that's where it does get rough. But I continue
36:19
to pray over So keep praying even through it all, even if you don't
36:23
feel anything, Trust me, keep praying because you are in the wilderness as
36:32
long as we allow ourselves to wow your preacher too, huh, let's go
36:37
for it. Yeah. So I'm so happy for you. This is like
36:42
one of my prayers come true. I just saw it. I don't know
36:45
how I saw this day coming, but it's here. And I kept on
36:50
asking you, when you're ready, let me know, when you're ready,
36:52
let me know. And that day you came out of nowhere said I think
36:54
I'm ready to share my testimony. I was like, thank you Jesus,
36:58
because I notice go free up a lot young ladies. It's free up a
37:00
lot of I used to make it joke like, oh, my life should
37:05
be a movie. All the jama that's my life. And it's like I
37:08
didn't the drama was me yep and me allowing my pass to control me.
37:16
So yeah, I'm like, this is my movie, Like this is me
37:21
talking. I definitely been thinking about writing a book. There's definitely way more.
37:24
But you know, you could use this recording as you know, a
37:32
place and I could show you software where we could just play it and then
37:37
it'll write it out for you and that'll be a start of one of the
37:39
chapters. So I'm so glad. I'm so happy. Yeah, I'm so
37:43
glad and happy that you're, you know, on this side of the Kingdom
37:46
of God. And when the enemy comes back in your life and tries to
37:51
offer you some old things, you could actually say no. Because a lot
37:54
of people don't realize that before Jesus comes into your life, you actually cannot
38:00
say no to sin. We're actually a slave to sin. But as soon
38:04
as Jesus enters into your life and you submit to his will, which is
38:07
the best will for your life, the best plan for your life, you
38:09
can actually look at those sinful things and look at it face to face and
38:14
say no. But before Jesus, we were not able to say no.
38:16
When a girl would come and offer herself to me. I could not say
38:21
no. Before Jesus. When the drugs were offered to me, and the
38:22
weed and the alcohol was offered to me, I literally could not say no.
38:28
There was like nothing. I had no power to say no. People
38:30
say, just use willpower. Your willpower doesn't have any power, and when
38:35
it has enough power to get you by maybe a couple of times. But
38:37
God gives us the power to get by every single time. And even if
38:43
we fall, we make a mistake, right a lot of us do we
38:45
fall. We make mistakes. We know that God forgives us for that.
38:49
We get back up. If I see you lista down, I try to
38:52
always come along her side and bring her back up. She sees me down.
38:55
If you ever see me down, my sister, you have permission to
38:59
say, Sam, what do you doing? And bring me back up.
39:00
Because I'm not immune to the attacks of the enemy. I just know a
39:04
little bit of how to protect myself. But that doesn't mean that the devil's
39:07
not continuously shooting his arrows at me. So when we shine our light,
39:13
we're easy targets. But God is giving us the light to shine bright in
39:15
the dark world and with the soult of the world as world as well.
39:20
So thank you so much for just doing this. I know it takes a
39:22
lot of courage, but you have encouraged me and I know that people that
39:27
are listening are going to be inspired to do what you have done. Just
39:30
submit to God. Man, not know about God, but be in a
39:34
person of relationship with Him, and I suggest that you would do that.
39:38
So any last comment you would like to say to the people that are listening.
39:43
When God speaks to you, listen sometimes you need to be quiet.
39:50
Don't talk back, don't talk about right, keep on listening. Amen,
39:54
Man, I'll something. It's very reasoning. We're men like my dream I've
40:00
been. It's all encouraged me. I'm going to start making my hoodies and
40:05
stuff again and continuing my business with the items are Church bless me with instead
40:10
of just letting it better around. Amen. And time, because you have
40:15
a daughter and you know you have life happens. But in time, you
40:20
know you have my support and the support of the brothers and sisters at Transformation
40:23
Church as well. We'll continue to see you. Know you rise up a
40:28
man out of what you came through, and that inspires a lot. You
40:31
might not know it, but especially these younger kids, they look up to
40:37
you. They look up I know, my daughter looks up to you and
40:38
says, wow, you know she does this, she does that, and
40:42
she has a little baby, and you know what I'm saying. So it's
40:45
amazing how our testimony will grab the hearts of the younger people and say,
40:50
man, if God could do it for her, and God could do it
40:52
for him, why couldn't God do that for me. Well, we're here
40:55
to tell you he can do it for you. He can. You got
40:58
to do it. Anybody that needs to talk. You are listening here,
41:04
and I always pray for you. So I bless you. I thank you
41:08
for showing up on the Blaze Bible Studies on the Celebrator Network, and thank
41:12
you so much for taking the opportunity to share with the listeners. God bless
41:15
you, and I love you. God bless thank you.