Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Do Narcissists Like To Trigger You On Purpose?

Transcript

Why Do Narcissists Like To Trigger You On Purpose? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So why do some narcissist like to trigger you on purpose?
• 0:05
  Why did it? Like why do they like to set you
• 0:07
  off? Why do they just picking you and
• 0:09
  poke you and prod you until they get a reaction from you?
• 0:14
  That's what we talk about today, y'all.
• 0:15
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:17
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
• 0:19
  The Narcissist Discovery. Welcome back.
• 0:40
  Welcome back, welcome back. Yes, yo.
• 0:43
  Why do those pesky narcissistic people like to try to set you
• 0:48
  off on purpose? Why don't like the guy just poke
• 0:51
  you and poke you and poke you until you pop off and then they
• 0:55
  try to play the victim? Anybody got to answer why?
• 1:00
  Anybody want to volunteer? What's going on?
• 1:03
  What's going on yesterday morning?
• 1:05
  Oh, what's going on? Hey, what is up?
• 1:07
  What is up? What is up?
• 1:08
  Yes. So the main reason that
• 1:11
  narcissistic people, some narcissistic people like to set
• 1:14
  you off is because it's fun. Let's get that out the way
• 1:18
  quick, fast and in a hurry. Absolutely it's fun.
• 1:23
  It is absolutely They they love it.
• 1:25
  They really, really do. They love setting you off on
• 1:29
  purpose because it makes them feel because it's a bit of, it's
• 1:32
  a bit of fun. It's a wee, it's a wee bit of
• 1:35
  humor for that narcissistic person, right?
• 1:39
  Sometimes they're bored, like they're bored with their lives,
• 1:42
  They're bored with it, whatever is going on inside of their
• 1:44
  life. And guess what?
• 1:46
  Now that I'm bored, guess what? I get to mess with you right
• 1:50
  now. I get to mess with you because
• 1:52
  I'm bored, because I'm bored. And you seem like you have
• 1:55
  everything going on. I need to mess with you.
• 1:59
  So I need to try to have fun. I need to do this.
• 2:02
  I need to do that. So if you're dealing with a
• 2:04
  narcissist or types of person, sometimes they're trying to set
• 2:07
  you off on purpose just because they are absolutely bored.
• 2:12
  You had the the bored. A bored narcissist is a
• 2:15
  dangerous narcissist. A bored narcissist.
• 2:17
  What's going on? Listen, hey girl, a bored
• 2:19
  narcissist, it's a narcissist that's going to mess with you.
• 2:23
  Very rarely we see a narcissist just get bored and just like,
• 2:25
  you know what? I'm bored.
• 2:26
  I'm going to sit down and not mess with anybody.
• 2:30
  I'm going to sit myself down and not mess with anybody at all.
• 2:34
  And this is just me. I'm not going to mess with
• 2:37
  anybody. No, you don't get there with
• 2:40
  narcissist to people, the bored narcissist will try to do things
• 2:44
  to set you off just because they are bored.
• 2:51
  And I know they're saying a lot and a lot of people don't don't
• 2:53
  understand that because this is what goes on in the mind of a
• 2:55
  narcissist. You don't you don't think this
• 2:57
  way, you don't you don't see this, you don't believe this
• 3:00
  because you don't think that way.
• 3:01
  Lately I don't think that way. Why would the hell would anybody
• 3:03
  get bored and start acting a monkey and start doing crazy ass
• 3:06
  stuff trying to set me off on purpose?
• 3:08
  What What the hell is that about?
• 3:10
  Because they're bored. The next reason I saw a couple
• 3:13
  people type this up very the next reason a narcissist will
• 3:16
  set you off on purpose is literally, y'all literally for
• 3:20
  control. They absolutely love to try and
• 3:24
  control you. That is a narcissistic tactic
• 3:28
  right there. They want to feel like they're
• 3:29
  in control. They want to feel like they have
• 3:32
  power and control over you. They love it.
• 3:35
  So in order to just and so in order to exert my control, in
• 3:40
  order to do this, I need to just prove I can set you off.
• 3:44
  I need to prove that I'm in control of you.
• 3:46
  If I can, You all heard me say this before.
• 3:48
  If I can trigger you, I can control you.
• 3:53
  If I can set you off, then you are not in control of you.
• 3:58
  I am. You don't control you.
• 4:00
  I control you because I can set you off.
• 4:03
  You see what I'm saying? It seems super simplistic, but
• 4:06
  as long as I feel like I, I, I do this because I, I mean, I
• 4:10
  need to be in control. I need to feel powerful.
• 4:12
  I need to do a lot of different things right here.
• 4:14
  I need this. I feel like if, if all else
• 4:18
  fails and I don't have control over anything, I need to be able
• 4:21
  to prove that I still have at least a little bit of control
• 4:24
  over you. And that's what happens when you
• 4:26
  have when you, when you get some narcissistic people, right,
• 4:29
  they'll do this type of stuff right here to exert control over
• 4:32
  you. Like they want to make sure that
• 4:35
  they have some type of power and control over you.
• 4:38
  So a lot of them will absolutely positively do this type of stuff
• 4:42
  right here to try to set you off to poke, poke, poke, poke, poke,
• 4:44
  poke boom, then you blow up and guess what happens?
• 4:48
  I'm in control. I know that I still have some
• 4:50
  type of power over you. So I feel good about this right
• 4:52
  here. This is why sometimes y'all,
• 4:54
  when you see a narcissist, A narcissist tries to set you off
• 4:58
  and it works. They'll start to smile.
• 5:00
  You see the damn chest side cat, the chest side cat smile, come
• 5:02
  across their face, then smile. You said my, my, my, my lips in
• 5:06
  right here. The narcissist when they when
• 5:07
  they do something to set you off on purpose and they feel good,
• 5:10
  they they limp ends here. You want to know how I got this
• 5:14
  scar? My wife?
• 5:18
  But yeah, that's the mindset right there, y'all.
• 5:20
  They want to feel like they're in control.
• 5:24
  They absolutely do. And This is why I preach when
• 5:28
  you're dealing with a narcissist or types of person, you have to
• 5:31
  be able to control your reactions.
• 5:35
  You absolutely have to. You need to be able to control
• 5:39
  your reaction because it's it is extremely important.
• 5:43
  It's important that you are able to control your reactions in
• 5:46
  this instance right here. It is absolutely important.
• 5:50
  You have to be able to be in control because if you can't
• 5:52
  control you, then I'm going to control you.
• 5:56
  That's why you have like when you deal with a narcissistic
• 5:58
  person, an abusive person, manipulative person, and they
• 6:01
  are trying to set you off on purpose, like they're going to
• 6:03
  keep trying to do it. If it works.
• 6:05
  Yeah, If it works, I'm going to keep doing it.
• 6:07
  Why would I stop? Yeah, yeah.
• 6:09
  Why would I stop doing something that works?
• 6:12
  You have to ask yourself that question right there.
• 6:14
  If put your put yourself in the size 17, size 17 clown shoes of
• 6:20
  a narcissist. Try them on, try try them on for
• 6:23
  size. Try them on for size like and
• 6:26
  ask yourself this question right here.
• 6:27
  You got you got the clown shoes on yet ask close your eyes.
• 6:30
  Ask yourself this question. Why would I stop doing something
• 6:34
  that I know works? Since you got your degree and
• 6:42
  you know every damn thing, That's what happens.
• 6:47
  So you, because narcissistic people have trouble regulating
• 6:51
  our own emotions, we need to use you as the regulator.
• 6:57
  We use you as a regulator. We use you as a regulation.
• 7:00
  So they won't. They won't.
• 7:01
  They want to exert some type of control.
• 7:03
  They get bored. They need to use you as a fault,
• 7:05
  as a regular a person or a person or funny people to
• 7:09
  regulate their own emotions. And This is why it's so
• 7:12
  extremely important as a, as somebody that's dealing with the
• 7:16
  narcissist to understand like this is who they are.
• 7:18
  This is exactly who they're going to be, right?
• 7:21
  It's not precious. Good, good pick up, good pick
• 7:23
  up, good pick up. Since you got your degree and
• 7:26
  you know everything today, good pick up.
• 7:30
  Seriously, that's a good pick up.
• 7:32
  But this is what happens. You have to be able to be in
• 7:35
  control of yourself because if you're not in control, then that
• 7:37
  means that narcissistic person is in control, right?
• 7:41
  If you are not in control of your emotions, that narcissistic
• 7:44
  person is right. If I can treat take this to the
• 7:47
  I'll take if you don't leave, you leave this live with nothing
• 7:49
  else. Leave with this.
• 7:51
  If I can trigger you, I can control you.
• 7:55
  So sometimes they're literally setting off look, they're trying
• 7:59
  to trigger you on purpose to prove that they can, right?
• 8:04
  The last time I'm talking about y'all is how narcissists trigger
• 8:06
  you on purpose in order to play the victim, your reactions.
• 8:11
  They will trigger you. They will set you off on purpose
• 8:14
  and use your reactions as a way to play the victim.
• 8:19
  They'll set you off right. They'll set you off there, poke
• 8:21
  and poke and poke you, poke you, poke you.
• 8:23
  And then guess what? You react and they'll be like,
• 8:26
  Oh my God, why are you screaming at me?
• 8:28
  I can't believe you would do. This Who are you?
• 8:30
  Who? Did I marry?
• 8:35
  Who are you? I don't know.
• 8:36
  This person so if you can't control your reactions, then I
• 8:40
  in control then I can play the victim.
• 8:44
  That's true. I'm here for the premiere.
• 8:46
  This ain't this is this live right here, baby?
• 8:47
  It's live. We live baby.
• 8:49
  So sometimes they will use your reactions to their abuse in
• 8:53
  order to play the victim. That's how it works right there.
• 8:57
  Y'all. They will use your reactions to
• 9:00
  their abuse to play the victim. So that's why it's so important
• 9:03
  to control yourself. Like This is why like
• 9:06
  narcissistic people learn your triggers.
• 9:08
  So sometimes they can set you off when when there are other
• 9:12
  people around. It's just not a one.
• 9:14
  It's not a one time thing. They like to try to set you off
• 9:17
  and there are other people around or or they try to set you
• 9:21
  off so they can record you later on, so they can record you.
• 9:24
  They'll set you off. They're like, you stupid, you
• 9:26
  stupid. I hate, stop calling me stupid.
• 9:29
  You know I hate when you call me stupid.
• 9:31
  I'm not stupid. You are stupid.
• 9:36
  Roar. Whoa.
• 9:36
  You're crazy. Why are you?
• 9:38
  Yelling at me? Why are you roaring like a damn
• 9:40
  dragon at me? Whoa, you're crazy.
• 9:43
  You are stupid. Roar.
• 9:46
  Whoa look, y'all see what I have to deal with?
• 9:48
  Y'all see how crazy she is? Y'all see this monster rebel
• 9:52
  woman I got to deal with? You see this crazy yes man, I
• 9:55
  got a battle with Roar, you know?
• 9:59
  What I'm saying that's why you have to control your reactions
• 10:01
  because they can, they can use your reactions in order to look
• 10:05
  like the victim, in order to self victimize themselves.
• 10:11
  So that's why it makes sense, doesn't it make sense to be to
• 10:14
  try to be in control of yourself right there?
• 10:17
  Because if you don't, I'm promise you, if you don't
• 10:19
  control yourself, the narcissist will.
• 10:21
  If you're not in control of yourself, that narcissistic
• 10:23
  person is in control. You want to be in a you, you
• 10:26
  want to be the puppet of a narcissist.
• 10:28
  You want to be the puppet of a narcissistic person, right?
• 10:31
  Because they're going to treat you like a puppet.
• 10:33
  They're going to have a little string.
• 10:34
  Imagine, look, imagine you imagine my dreads a little
• 10:38
  little strings, like a little dummy strings.
• 10:40
  They they're going to be controlling you like a puppet,
• 10:41
  like dance, dance, impact puppet, dance.
• 10:45
  And you like, if you want to dance, puppet dance, guess is
• 10:57
  that's the type of stuff that they'll do right there, y'all.
• 11:00
  So you absolutely need to be in control of yourself because if
• 11:03
  you're not in control, then that right, that really, really is
• 11:07
  going to you. You're going to catch a loss,
• 11:08
  you're going to you're going to lose, you're going to keep
• 11:10
  losing over and over and over again because that narcissistic
• 11:15
  person feels like they are in control of you.
• 11:18
  So that's why I'm just saying you always hear me say if I can
• 11:21
  trigger you, I can control you. You don't want to feel like
• 11:24
  this, that this person has control over you.
• 11:27
  You don't want this person using your reactions as a weapon to
• 11:30
  make themselves like the the to appear to be the victim to you.
• 11:37
  You don't want the narcissist to use your reactions as a way to
• 11:40
  play the victim, as a way to victimize themselves.
• 11:42
  Y'all see I'm the victim here? She's crazy.
• 11:45
  I'm the victim here. Y'all see how crazy she is?
• 11:48
  No, you see what I'm saying? Y'all see how crazy he is he.
• 11:53
  He he, he doesn't act like this. In front of.
• 11:55
  Y'all but in front of me, he treats me horrible.
• 12:01
  It's the face they make right there.
• 12:02
  He treats me horrible. That's silly as hell right there
• 12:09
  y'all. So if they can trigger you, they
• 12:13
  can control you, right. And they always want to have a
• 12:16
  reason to blame you. They always want to have a
• 12:18
  reason to blame. Who said like like Angela said,
• 12:20
  they want to. They want to blame you.
• 12:21
  Yes. They want to find a way to blame
• 12:23
  you. So you have to control your
• 12:25
  reaction. I know it's Yeah, I know it's
• 12:27
  not to. I know it's not fair.
• 12:30
  So many people just like, well, Lee, that's not fair.
• 12:32
  Yo be you in a relationship with a narcissist.
• 12:33
  What they what? What's going to be?
• 12:35
  Fair. What are you expecting to be
• 12:36
  fair? You're in a relationship with an
• 12:39
  abusive, manipulative, toxic ass person.
• 12:41
  What do you expect to be fair here?
• 12:43
  Sometimes you got to wake up and just understand that this, this
• 12:45
  relationship is not, it's not about fairness now, it's about
• 12:49
  surviving. It's about thriving after it,
• 12:51
  before doing or after it, you have to survive.
• 12:54
  You have to thrive. That's what what's fair about
• 12:56
  being in a relationship with an abuser?
• 12:58
  Nothing. Life ain't fair in this
• 13:00
  situation. You got when you got when you
• 13:02
  wake up to it, you understand it.
• 13:03
  It's going to be tough. I'm telling you, it's going to
• 13:05
  be tough. It's going to be tough, but
• 13:07
  you're going to you will survive it.
• 13:10
  So yeah, I got time for a few questions before I got to hop
• 13:12
  off this thing. Before I hop off y'all.
• 13:14
  Our next in person live event is in Atlanta.
• 13:17
  Yeah, we're coming to Atlanta, GA on June the 28th.
• 13:21
  ATL. We're coming your way June the
• 13:25
  28th. ATL.
• 13:27
  Yeah, I'm so ATL, Atlanta, GA for our next live in person
• 13:31
  event. Y'all, this right here is going
• 13:33
  to be different because it's, it's live and in person, but
• 13:36
  there's a virtual option as well.
• 13:39
  Our next event has a virtual option for it as well, y'all.
• 13:43
  So we're going to be doing this live and in person and virtually
• 13:47
  as well. Y'all see it right here.
• 13:49
  It's called Take Flight, Atlanta, GA, June 28th from
• 13:52
  12:00 to 5:00 PM. This is a longer workshop, it's
• 13:56
  called Take Flight. It's about healing from
• 13:58
  narcissistic abuse. You can find more information or
• 14:02
  you can register at mentalillness.net/events is
• 14:06
  across the bottom of the screen right now.
• 14:07
  I'll drop it in the comment section.
• 14:09
  Atlanta, GA is live and in person and it's also going to be
• 14:14
  a virtual option for it as well. Going to be, we're going to be
• 14:16
  streaming it as well, right? These are the, these are the
• 14:19
  pictures from my previous events right here.
• 14:21
  Got some testimonials Mental illness.net/events for our our
• 14:26
  next live in person workshop take flight in Atlanta, GA June
• 14:31
  28th. I will see y'all in the ATL.
• 14:36
  But yes Mental illness.net/events y'all highly
• 14:41
  recommend leads One O 1's yay yay.
• 14:45
  So everything y'all, my one O 1's, my zooms, everything is
• 14:49
  going to be on my site Mental illness.net.
• 14:52
  Mental illness.net. I'd rather be lonely than with
• 14:56
  another demon. Yes, I would.
• 14:57
  I would. I would hope you would.
• 14:59
  I would hope so. Them demons were taking your
• 15:02
  life over them demons take your life over the Chicago's on the
• 15:06
  list. We're not sure 100% certain win.
• 15:09
  So we definitely doing Atlanta, then New York and then let's
• 15:12
  partly. You coming to ATL.
• 15:13
  You going to be in ATL? I'm literally being kicked out
• 15:18
  right now. Oh yeah.
• 15:20
  Protect your peace. Yeah, protect your peace.
• 15:25
  Why does he punish me by hiding things or he will leave for
• 15:28
  hours and hours when I ignore him.
• 15:29
  I'm not working. He is.
• 15:30
  So now you have to make a plan right here because that's that's
• 15:33
  his way of punishing you because he knows you, you can't leave.
• 15:36
  So he feel like he he might feel like you're going to be a
• 15:38
  hostage right there. So he feel like he can do
• 15:40
  anything he wants to do to you, right.
• 15:43
  He feel like he can do anything he wants to do to you.
• 15:46
  So narc was mad and yelled at me, said was because I did
• 15:52
  something that made him argue with a family member.
• 15:54
  I contacted a family member, they said it never happened.
• 15:57
  Is he making it up to discard me?
• 15:58
  I'm not I'm not. He's definitely making it up.
• 16:01
  I don't know if he's making it up to discard you, but he's
• 16:03
  definitely 100% making it up right.
• 16:07
  I feel like right there, he's definitely making it up.
• 16:10
  Oh my goodness, this man. That's spam right there.
• 16:13
  He's definitely making it up as a diagnosed narcissist.
• 16:19
  Is social media a new supply? No social media that it doesn't
• 16:22
  work that way y'all. It could be it could be supply
• 16:24
  for narcissists, but it's not. It doesn't work that way for me
• 16:26
  because I've been I've been doing too much work on myself
• 16:33
  message. I say the the Facebook spam me
• 16:35
  killing me boy. Yes, some of the narcissists are
• 16:41
  absolutely needy. Well, most narcissists are needy
• 16:43
  for validation, but needy for everything else.
• 16:46
  How do you leave? So that's a very detailed
• 16:48
  question. It really just depends because
• 16:50
  like, I don't know your, your whole situation.
• 16:52
  So it really just depends, right?
• 16:53
  But I do have a course, my course, my video series called
• 16:58
  Finding your Why can tell you how to leave a toxic
• 17:01
  narcissistic relationship. And because we're in Mother's
• 17:04
  Day month, if you go to my website, mentalillness.net, you
• 17:08
  go to my courses. You you go to my courses into
• 17:11
  the code mothers, you get 50% off all the courses and video
• 17:15
  series is yeah, it's super cheap.
• 17:16
  Seriously, all the courses, video series with the detail how
• 17:20
  to leave. It's 4 almost 50 videos broken
• 17:23
  down on how to leave and survive and thrive.
• 17:25
  Y'all. But I do have to hop off this
• 17:27
  thing y'all. I appreciate y'all tuning in
• 17:29
  with me and rocking with me today.
• 17:30
  Be safe, take care of yourself, hit the subscribe button, come
• 17:34
  to Atlanta, do the virtual. If you can't come to Atlanta, do
• 17:36
  the virtual part of it. Y'all is going to be, he's going
• 17:38
  to be transformative. The workshop we have coming up
• 17:41
  on June 28th might be your final step into leaving and thriving
• 17:44
  and showing how to survive y'all.
• 17:46
  Anyway, y'all, hit the subscribe button.
• 17:48
  I appreciate every single one of y'all and it's always y'all.
• 17:50
  As always, this is peace, I do.