Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #914 This Week in Parenting: Saltburn, Barbie, and Chris Hemsworth
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the.
- 0:07Speaker 2: Time poor parent who just once answers Now.
- 0:10Speaker 3: Over the break, a bunch of parenting studies and stories
- 0:14Speaker 3: have hit the news.
- 0:14Speaker 4: Some of them have been very very serious.
- 0:17Speaker 3: They include hard hitting stories like teenage boys who are
- 0:21Speaker 3: being trapped in online honey pots. There's been some pretty
- 0:25Speaker 3: explosive research come out about kids in daycare, not politically correct,
- 0:30Speaker 3: the sort of stuff that can upset people, but we
- 0:32Speaker 3: need to talk about it.
- 0:33Speaker 4: And also the Australian Child Male Treatment.
- 0:36Speaker 3: Study, a big news story looking at child abuse. All
- 0:40Speaker 3: of those stories are coming up on the Happy Families
- 0:42Speaker 3: Podcast in the next couple of.
- 0:43Speaker 4: Weeks as we address the very very serious stuff.
- 0:48Speaker 2: But today today's not serious at all. We're going to
- 0:51Speaker 2: look at pop culture and the stories that have made
- 0:54Speaker 2: the headlines and our reactions to them on the podcast.
- 0:58Speaker 3: Once a month or thereabouts, do an episode called this
- 1:02Speaker 3: week in Parenting.
- 1:06Speaker 4: Now, let's we do this a quick I guess heads up.
- 1:09Speaker 3: Normally, this is a very practical podcast where we try
- 1:12Speaker 3: to help you to be better parents. I think you'll
- 1:14Speaker 3: still get better parenting ideas out of this podcast, but
- 1:17Speaker 3: every now and again it's just nice to look at
- 1:19Speaker 3: I don't know, the tabloidy trashy stuff and see what's
- 1:22Speaker 3: happening out there in I was gonna say, in the
- 1:24Speaker 3: real world, I don't know if this is the real
- 1:26Speaker 3: world or not.
- 1:27Speaker 2: Well, I'm just going to put it out there. I
- 1:28Speaker 2: would not be having a conversation about any of these
- 1:31Speaker 2: things with my mum friends out a cafe.
- 1:35Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're not a TikToker either. Not Okay, So
- 1:38Speaker 3: here's our first story. The Barbie dream House has exploded
- 1:44Speaker 3: on TikTok. We have play Maisie at Play Maisy on
- 1:47Speaker 3: TikTok who decided that when it was Christmas and the
- 1:51Speaker 3: Barbie Dreamhouse was being gifted to a.
- 1:54Speaker 2: Little drum roll, This one's funny.
- 1:57Speaker 4: Let's glue down all the furniture. Kids, You're not going
- 2:00Speaker 4: to move any of it.
- 2:04Speaker 5: If you are gifting a kid the Barbie Dreamhouse for
- 2:07Speaker 5: Christmas this year, do not wait until Christmas Eve to
- 2:11Speaker 5: build this thing. It's currently Friday. We have three days
- 2:13Speaker 5: to go. Tonight, I'm building this Tomorrow night. I will
- 2:17Speaker 5: put on the stickers and I will glue all of
- 2:22Speaker 5: the furniture with B six thousand glue down so the
- 2:26Speaker 5: pieces don't end up all over the house, and then
- 2:28Speaker 5: she never plays with it because her furniture it's not
- 2:29Speaker 5: in there. And then Sunday night, I'll put it down
- 2:33Speaker 5: under the tree not wrap. Good luck well on as parents.
- 2:39Speaker 4: All right, Kylie?
- 2:40Speaker 3: I mean this has gone nuts, thousands and thousands of comments,
- 2:43Speaker 3: millions of views.
- 2:45Speaker 4: This is called a parenting news right? Is it appropriate
- 2:48Speaker 4: or is it not appropriate? A couple of you're laughing
- 2:50Speaker 4: this much? Is it okay to blue your kid's Bobby
- 2:53Speaker 4: dreamhouse furniture to the dreamhouse so that it can't move around?
- 2:57Speaker 2: I have to give her a round of applause. Why
- 3:01Speaker 2: for ingenuity and just thinking outside the box as far
- 3:06Speaker 2: as how to make her mum life easier.
- 3:09Speaker 4: Right?
- 3:10Speaker 2: There is nothing worse than your child having a meltdown
- 3:13Speaker 2: because they've lost the tiny little plate that goes on
- 3:16Speaker 2: their Barbie dreamhouse table and I can't find it, and
- 3:18Speaker 2: you're never going to find it again because the dog
- 3:20Speaker 2: probably ate it or it's hidden.
- 3:21Speaker 3: Down a crack of Can I be the serious parenting
- 3:24Speaker 3: expert for a second? Being a parent is not about
- 3:26Speaker 3: making your life more convenient, do you know what I mean?
- 3:29Speaker 3: Like you don't buy the barbie dreamhouse so the kids
- 3:31Speaker 3: can look at it and say, oh, I love how
- 3:33Speaker 3: perfectly accessorized this has been. I don't want to touch it,
- 3:38Speaker 3: and I guess in a more serious tone, the notion
- 3:42Speaker 3: that what she has actually done is created a closed
- 3:47Speaker 3: ended play item means that I'm going to suggest in
- 3:52Speaker 3: a few months time her.
- 3:54Speaker 2: Kid's not even actually gonna want to play with it.
- 3:56Speaker 3: So the great irony is in the clip she's saying,
- 3:59Speaker 3: I don't want her to lose all the pieces so
- 4:01Speaker 3: she can't play with it in a couple of months time.
- 4:02Speaker 3: But by doing what she's doing, she's not going to
- 4:04Speaker 3: play with it even for a couple of months. It
- 4:06Speaker 3: becomes this static thing that you look at and march
- 4:09Speaker 3: the barbie around for ten minutes, and it's like, yeah, okay, bored.
- 4:12Speaker 2: In education terms, we dissess whether or not an activity
- 4:15Speaker 2: was worthwhile based on how open ended it was, how
- 4:19Speaker 2: much ability does your child have to make choices around
- 4:24Speaker 2: how they will use it and how they will play
- 4:26Speaker 2: with it. The more open ended something is, the more
- 4:28Speaker 2: it taps into our kids creativity and their imagination. Once
- 4:33Speaker 2: you've glued down the pieces, there's not a lot of
- 4:34Speaker 2: imagination going on. Dinner has to be eaten at the
- 4:37Speaker 2: dining table in the kitchen, But what if I wanted
- 4:40Speaker 2: in the bathroom.
- 4:41Speaker 4: Here's the second news story, Chris Emsworth. Guess what do
- 4:45Speaker 4: you know? What the kids call Chris?
- 4:47Speaker 1: And Chris Hemsworth might be one of the world's most
- 4:49Speaker 1: famous movie stars, but his fans were surprised by some
- 4:52Speaker 1: of his recent holiday posts. Chris's nine year old son,
- 4:55Speaker 1: Tristan can be heard calling his dad by his first
- 4:58Speaker 1: name while they're fishing their Fiji holiday.
- 5:01Speaker 5: Chris, What keep him funding it? Chris?
- 5:07Speaker 4: They call him Chris, they don't call him dad.
- 5:09Speaker 3: News dot com, dot a you reported that Chris Hemsworth
- 5:12Speaker 3: is well newsworthy because let me just say something about
- 5:16Speaker 3: news dot com, dot a you. They know that if
- 5:18Speaker 3: they use the word Hemsworth us.
- 5:20Speaker 2: About to say this has got very little thing to do
- 5:22Speaker 2: with anything that's happening, just the fact that it's Chris.
- 5:25Speaker 3: If there is a Hemsworth story, Hemsworth in the title,
- 5:27Speaker 3: people are going to click on it and say, with
- 5:29Speaker 3: Daniel Ricardo, they just Daniel Riccardo Chris Hemsworth stories. They
- 5:32Speaker 3: know they're going to get clicks, But this is in
- 5:34Speaker 3: the news. Chris Hemsworth has been spotted in public and
- 5:37Speaker 3: his children have been overheard talking to him, and they're
- 5:40Speaker 3: not saying hey Dad, They're saying hey Chris. So Kylie reactions.
- 5:47Speaker 2: I'm actually torn on this one. I can't imagine my
- 5:50Speaker 2: kids not calling me mum. But I think part of
- 5:54Speaker 2: that comes down to what societal norms and expectations have
- 5:59Speaker 2: placed on it. And in the past, when kids have
- 6:03Speaker 2: called their parents by their first name, it has not
- 6:06Speaker 2: been depicted as nice, respectful, or kind. So that's my preface.
- 6:13Speaker 2: But when I think about my name, it suggests something
- 6:19Speaker 2: personal and intimate, and if you're using my name, it
- 6:22Speaker 2: means you know me and we have a relationship. So
- 6:27Speaker 2: in that regard, it actually makes sense that they might
- 6:32Speaker 2: use their name. I hate it when I hear people
- 6:34Speaker 2: say hey, son, come here, or hey daughter, come here.
- 6:37Speaker 2: That doesn't feel personal or intimate to me. That's just like,
- 6:40Speaker 2: I can't be bothered trying to work out what your
- 6:42Speaker 2: name is because I'm going to get it wrong anyway.
- 6:44Speaker 3: And by the way, if you do say up son
- 6:46Speaker 3: over here, we're not judging you, okay, oh, Kylie's not
- 6:48Speaker 3: judging you. I didn't say that, by the way, Kylie
- 6:50Speaker 3: said that, Okay, if you want to call your son's son,
- 6:54Speaker 3: you just be my guest.
- 6:56Speaker 2: I'm divided. I'm divided. I don't actually have a problem
- 6:59Speaker 2: with them calling him Chris and the rest of the
- 7:02Speaker 2: world calls him Chris and they don't even know him.
- 7:04Speaker 4: Yeah, okay.
- 7:05Speaker 3: So I would like to say that there is no
- 7:09Speaker 3: research that I'm aware of that highlights that children are
- 7:11Speaker 3: going to be better off or worse off by calling
- 7:12Speaker 3: their child, their father or their mother by their first
- 7:14Speaker 3: name or mom or dad from a socialization point of view,
- 7:18Speaker 3: and just I guess from a values.
- 7:20Speaker 4: Point of view, I mean, you do you whatever works
- 7:22Speaker 4: for you.
- 7:23Speaker 3: I've known plenty of people who call their parents by
- 7:25Speaker 3: their first name, well adjusted, doing great, no problem, And
- 7:28Speaker 3: likewise plenty of people who say Mum and Dad. For me,
- 7:32Speaker 3: there are only six people on the entire.
- 7:34Speaker 4: Planet who get to call me dad.
- 7:37Speaker 3: So to me, the word dad is really special, it's
- 7:40Speaker 3: really sacred, and it connotes a different relationship. It connotes
- 7:45Speaker 3: a relationship that I have with that person that is
- 7:48Speaker 3: completely distinguished from any other relationship.
- 7:51Speaker 4: So I think it's such a privilege.
- 7:54Speaker 3: Every now and again, when the kids say hey, Dad,
- 7:56Speaker 3: there's part of me that just sort of melts. I think, Wow,
- 7:58Speaker 3: there's actually a human on this and that gets to
- 8:00Speaker 3: call me that, and it's really special.
- 8:01Speaker 4: No one else does that.
- 8:03Speaker 3: Quick story though, as an aside, you know this story
- 8:06Speaker 3: very well. The first time I rang your home so
- 8:09Speaker 3: that I could talk to you, your mom picked up
- 8:11Speaker 3: the phone, and the way that she answers the phone
- 8:13Speaker 3: is this Natasha speaking. And I said, oh, hi, Natasha,
- 8:17Speaker 3: my name's Justin. I was hoping Kylie's at home. And
- 8:21Speaker 3: what I didn't know is that after you got off
- 8:22Speaker 3: the phone from me, your mum said, I hope he
- 8:25Speaker 3: knows never to call me Natasha again. In fact, we
- 8:27Speaker 3: had quite a challenge in the son in law mother
- 8:30Speaker 3: in law relationship for what do you reckon.
- 8:32Speaker 4: Ten years, fifteen years?
- 8:34Speaker 3: Because your mom did not want to be called by
- 8:37Speaker 3: her name. It was too personal to her, which I
- 8:39Speaker 3: find ironic because even people in the call center called
- 8:42Speaker 3: her by her name. She wanted me to call her mum,
- 8:45Speaker 3: but she's not my mum. And again, for me, the
- 8:47Speaker 3: sacredness of that relationship, there's only one person on the
- 8:50Speaker 3: planet that I call mom, and that's my Mum probably
- 8:53Speaker 3: spent too much time on this one, but I just
- 8:55Speaker 3: reckon you do you whatever? But for me, I love
- 8:58Speaker 3: the fact that there are six little people on this planet.
- 9:00Speaker 3: They get to call me dad, and I wouldn't want
- 9:02Speaker 3: them to call me anything else.
- 9:07Speaker 2: So our next story is probably one that's not safe
- 9:09Speaker 2: for kids.
- 9:10Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're driving in the car or listening with
- 9:12Speaker 3: your children, we recommend you press pause or just sort
- 9:14Speaker 3: of skip over the next one and come back to
- 9:16Speaker 3: a little bit later. This is definitely a parent's only
- 9:19Speaker 3: story that is definitely needing to be raised because it's
- 9:22Speaker 3: been in the news.
- 9:23Speaker 2: Saltburn. It's a news show on Amazon Prime, and it
- 9:28Speaker 2: is not for our kids.
- 9:30Speaker 3: They're strong, central content, graphic nudity, language, disturbing, violent content,
- 9:34Speaker 3: and drug use.
- 9:35Speaker 4: No, it doesn't seem to be for our kids now.
- 9:37Speaker 4: In fairness, you and I have not watched it.
- 9:39Speaker 3: And I know that when you read something or you
- 9:42Speaker 3: read about something, it can be really hard to know
- 9:46Speaker 3: whether what you're reading.
- 9:48Speaker 4: Sometimes reading it makes it worse, whereas if you just
- 9:50Speaker 4: watch it, it's there, it's gone. You don't pick up
- 9:53Speaker 4: on it so much.
- 9:53Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think to read it requires so much
- 9:57Speaker 2: more brain activity then watching it because it's a.
- 10:01Speaker 3: Passive it's a different level of process accessing. But Sultburn
- 10:06Speaker 3: is definitely a not safe for kids show. It's an
- 10:08Speaker 3: MA rating. I mean back in the day, it would
- 10:10Speaker 3: have been an R rated show.
- 10:11Speaker 4: I reckon.
- 10:12Speaker 3: Here's what Madison, who works with Kirera Pendegast Safe on
- 10:16Speaker 3: Social had to say on Instagram about it. She's a
- 10:18Speaker 3: seventeen year old. Madison said. The new movie Saltburn on
- 10:21Speaker 3: Amazon Prime is going absolutely viral. The highly sexualized movie
- 10:25Speaker 3: explores the ideas of desire and passion and mixes in
- 10:27Speaker 3: some thriller and drama elements to create a captivating but
- 10:30Speaker 3: incredibly disturbing film. There are four major scenes which the
- 10:33Speaker 3: internet's going crazy about, and many young people are making
- 10:38Speaker 3: blind react videos. So for people who are not familiar
- 10:41Speaker 3: with the whole blind react videos, it's basically when you
- 10:43Speaker 3: see something for the first time and somebody films your
- 10:46Speaker 3: reaction to it. So kids are saying, hey mum, or
- 10:48Speaker 3: hey dad, or hey friends, or hey brother, hey sister,
- 10:51Speaker 3: whoever you are, I want to show you this shocking
- 10:54Speaker 3: thing on the TV, and I want to film your reaction.
- 10:56Speaker 3: Except I don't say it's shocking. They just say, hey,
- 10:58Speaker 3: wats this and they film the reaction. The scenes are
- 11:01Speaker 3: highly sexual in nature, says Madison, with the most notable
- 11:04Speaker 3: being the bathtub scene. Again, this part is not safe
- 11:07Speaker 3: for kids to listen to. In this scene, Jacob Lord's
- 11:10Speaker 3: character Felix has depicted from a distance masturbating a bathtub
- 11:13Speaker 3: while Ollie that is, the psychopath, watches on. After Felix leaves,
- 11:17Speaker 3: Oli is seen doing something far too disturbing to write here.
- 11:20Speaker 3: The clips of this particular scene are all over TikTok
- 11:23Speaker 3: and Instagram already, and this isn't the only troubling scene.
- 11:27Speaker 3: The graveyard scene depicts Oli having intercourse with Felix's grave
- 11:30Speaker 3: after he murders him, and it goes on now, I
- 11:33Speaker 3: mean part of me. Look, if this is your thing,
- 11:36Speaker 3: I'm not judging you for it.
- 11:37Speaker 4: I don't get it. I don't get why people make
- 11:39Speaker 4: this sort of stuff. I don't think that it's real.
- 11:40Speaker 3: I don't think that it's consistent with what most people
- 11:43Speaker 3: think is entertaining.
- 11:44Speaker 4: I just don't get it. But you know what, if
- 11:47Speaker 4: you've got kids at a twelve are up, it's.
- 11:49Speaker 3: Going to be a topic of conversation in the school playground,
- 11:52Speaker 3: and there's going to be a whole lot of kids
- 11:53Speaker 3: who are watching it, and.
- 11:55Speaker 2: If they're not watching it, it's going to be coming
- 11:56Speaker 2: up through their threads.
- 11:57Speaker 4: It's all through Instagram, it's all through TikTok.
- 12:01Speaker 3: So we really need to talk about how to have
- 12:03Speaker 3: a conversation with your kids about this.
- 12:06Speaker 2: Just recently, we actually had one of our daughters asked
- 12:08Speaker 2: if she could go and watch a movie with a friend.
- 12:11Speaker 2: And at this point in her development, we're really trying
- 12:16Speaker 2: to let her make more of her decisions around content
- 12:20Speaker 2: and what she'll watch and read. But we decided that
- 12:25Speaker 2: because of the rating, we needed to actually just do
- 12:27Speaker 2: a little bit of research ourselves, and so we looked
- 12:31Speaker 2: up common Sense Media.
- 12:32Speaker 3: I'm a big fan of common Sense Media. It lays
- 12:35Speaker 3: it out so well.
- 12:37Speaker 2: And as a result of that, unfortunately for her, literally
- 12:41Speaker 2: the first review you read was very, very.
- 12:45Speaker 3: Descriptive, pretty explicit, and so I just showed it to
- 12:47Speaker 3: her and I said, read this review and tell me
- 12:49Speaker 3: if this is the kind of movie that you would
- 12:52Speaker 3: feel comfortable watching.
- 12:55Speaker 2: And it was pretty instant as she read it, you
- 13:00Speaker 2: kind of just handed us back the phone and said,
- 13:03Speaker 2: I guess I'll look for a different movie.
- 13:04Speaker 4: Or w's something else. Yeah.
- 13:06Speaker 3: Having the conversation means here's what we value. How comfortable
- 13:10Speaker 3: do you feel watching this? Why would this be entertaining?
- 13:13Speaker 3: Like you just sort of stepped through it and talk
- 13:15Speaker 3: to the kids about Yes, other kids are allowed to
- 13:17Speaker 3: do it. Their parents probably aren't having these conversations. Maybe
- 13:19Speaker 3: they're not as concerned about content as we are. Why
- 13:22Speaker 3: might we be concerned about you seeing this?
- 13:24Speaker 4: How might it affect you?
- 13:25Speaker 2: I remember a long time ago now, it would be
- 13:28Speaker 2: probably ten or fifteen years ago, a friend asked me
- 13:31Speaker 2: to go to the movies with her, and because I
- 13:33Speaker 2: know my friend and I'm an adult, I just kind
- 13:37Speaker 2: of blindly said yeah, let's go. And it wasn't until
- 13:40Speaker 2: we were sitting in there and I realized the content
- 13:43Speaker 2: that was coming out and I looked at her and
- 13:45Speaker 2: I said, do you know what this movie is about?
- 13:47Speaker 2: And she said no, I just I've heard lots of
- 13:49Speaker 2: really good things about it. I was blown away.
- 13:52Speaker 3: And this is the thing with kids. They just go
- 13:53Speaker 3: along because everybody else is doing it. And as parents,
- 13:57Speaker 3: we've got a job to work with them on keeping
- 14:00Speaker 3: them safe and helping them to learn appropriate things at
- 14:03Speaker 3: appropriate times, in appropriate ways, and not have all of
- 14:06Speaker 3: this junk that Hollywood just wants to push on them
- 14:08Speaker 3: that is not safe for them.
- 14:11Speaker 4: It's just not good for them.
- 14:12Speaker 2: Well, it sets this notion that it's normal, this behavior
- 14:16Speaker 2: is normal, it's acceptable, and yet most of it's not right.
- 14:20Speaker 6: Last story really quickly, Matta says it is adding new
- 14:23Speaker 6: safety features to protect teenagers on Facebook and Instagram. All
- 14:27Speaker 6: teens will now be placed automatically in the most restrictive
- 14:31Speaker 6: content control settings on the apps, and additional search terms
- 14:35Speaker 6: will be limited on Instagram.
- 14:37Speaker 3: What that basically means is that it's going to default
- 14:40Speaker 3: teen users into the most restrictive content settings that they
- 14:44Speaker 3: have to help them to not be exposed to content
- 14:48Speaker 3: that is not for kids.
- 14:49Speaker 2: Yeah, but what does this actually really mean? Because you
- 14:52Speaker 2: and I both know our kids are ridiculously tech savvy
- 14:55Speaker 2: and they know how to get around this parameters, you're
- 14:57Speaker 2: actually going to make any difference.
- 14:59Speaker 3: Potentially, I mean a lot of kids may not notice
- 15:01Speaker 3: that it's happened. Content settings will be changed that the
- 15:04Speaker 3: children will be able to go back into content or
- 15:06Speaker 3: the teenagers will be able to go back into the
- 15:07Speaker 3: content settings and change them to what.
- 15:08Speaker 4: They want them to be if they wish to. But
- 15:10Speaker 4: here's what it means to me.
- 15:12Speaker 3: I think for years, Meta has made a big deal
- 15:14Speaker 3: about how everyone who's saying, oh, we need to keep
- 15:17Speaker 3: our kids safe, they've been saying.
- 15:19Speaker 4: You know what, you're all wrong, and what our platforms
- 15:22Speaker 4: do is fine.
- 15:24Speaker 3: The new guidelines pretty much say to me, well, if
- 15:31Speaker 3: the new guidelines have made these apps more age appropriate, now,
- 15:34Speaker 3: what were they before? They had to have not been
- 15:37Speaker 3: age appropriate before, otherwise the new guidelines wouldn't be making
- 15:40Speaker 3: things more age appropriate anyone.
- 15:43Speaker 4: And here's what they're doing.
- 15:44Speaker 3: Anyone who is under the age of eighteen who currently
- 15:46Speaker 3: has Facebook and Instagram is going to be automatically opted
- 15:49Speaker 3: into a filtering tool that hides content that features self
- 15:52Speaker 3: harm or suicide or eating disorders.
- 15:56Speaker 4: And this is a new thing.
- 15:58Speaker 3: Like for years they've been saying, no, no, no, no, we're
- 16:00Speaker 3: doing the right thing and we're keeping you safe. Now
- 16:01Speaker 3: they're doing this. It's a fantastic thing that they're doing.
- 16:04Speaker 3: But they've done it way too late. I think that
- 16:06Speaker 3: it's pathetic that it's taken this long. But at least
- 16:10Speaker 3: the content policy is improving.
- 16:12Speaker 4: And that's the news that you've missed over the holidays.
- 16:14Speaker 4: I think you're up to day. What do you reckon?
- 16:17Speaker 2: I don't know if they'd call it up today.
- 16:18Speaker 4: But come on, this has been great.
- 16:20Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rowland for
- 16:23Speaker 3: Bridge Media.
- 16:24Speaker 4: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
- 16:25Speaker 3: For more info about making your family happier, please visit
- 16:28Speaker 3: this at happy families dot com dot au and hope
- 16:31Speaker 3: you enjoy your Australia day long weekend.
- 16:33Speaker 4: To see you Monday,